Thanks with Tears

Author: Janet Lynn

Rating: NC-17 eventually

Pairing: W/S/A

Warning: This contains het, multiple partners, and m/m slash.  If any of this offends your sensitive nature, please avert your eyes.

Genre: BtVS/AtS

Disclaimer: All things BtVS and AtS belong to Joss Whedon (my god), Mutant Enemy, etc.  I own nothing, so please don't sue me.  I just want to play with the yummy beings that Joss created.

Spoilers: Season 6 of Buffy.  For Angel, all of season 3 and the first episode of season 4.

Distribution: Shara Nesu's Place.  Everyone else, just ask.  I'm generous.

Author's Notes:  Slightly AU.  BtVS through "Grave".  For Angel, he was sent to the bottom of the ocean by Conner, who has now disappeared and no one can find him.  Wesley found Angel and returned him so he is around, but still with hard feelings between him and Angel.  Cordelia went up to talk to the PTB, but she returned shortly thereafter.  I just like Phantom Dennis

Summery: Willow and Spike need help.  They turn to the only person they think can help them: Angel.

The title comes from Shakespeare: "I have a kind soul that would give you thanks, and knows not how to do it, but with tears." King John, Act V, Sc. 2.

A huge thanks to my sis Stephanie who is betaing for me.  You rock babe!

This is my new W/S/A piece.  Let me know what you think.  This is still a WIP, so I will post as quickly as possible.  Enjoy Cat!

Thoughts indicated by <>

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~Part: 1~

On a deserted highway, the redheaded witch continued to check her watch every few minutes.  She was afraid that she would not make it to her destination before the sunrise.  That thought made her turn her head to check on her passenger in the back seat.  She hoped she hadn't underestimated her driving skills and wouldn't make it inside before the dawn hit.  She didn't want her passenger to become nothing more than a pile of dust.

As she glanced at the vampire curled up in the backseat of the car, she wondered if she would ever be able to figure out what happened to him and if there was any way for her to help him.

She decided she had better speed it up a little, even though she was afraid of being pulled over for speeding.  The last thing she needed was to try and explain to some cop why her passenger was smoking, literally.

She made her way into the city and turned down the many streets in search of her destination.  And suddenly, there it was.  The Hyperion Hotel.  It was huge and magnificent and inside it held the one person she hoped could help both of them.

***

Inside the hotel, the Angel Investigations gang was sitting around doing research for their latest case.  The case wasn't anything big, but it was a paying gig.  Those were always the best.  It was simple enough.  A family had an infestation of sorts.  After ruling out poltergeists and ghosts, the gang was currently looking into the possibility that they may be some sort of small, mischief causing demons.  Everyone sat around with large books in their laps, except for Fred who was on the computer.

"Is there any more coffee?" Fred asked.  She had found herself nodding off several times while surfing the net trying to find something that would lead them in the right direction.

"I think we're out" Cordelia replied, rising from the table she was sitting at.  She needed to stretch her legs and rest her eyes, so making coffee seemed like a good excuse.  "I'll make some more."

"No!" everyone in the room exclaimed at the same time.  Cordy's coffee is something you only had to experience once before you decided you never wanted that experience again.

"Fine!" she snapped back.  "If you're going to be snappy, you can just make it yourself.  I'm going to step outside for a."

As her rant was stopped short, everyone turned toward the front door where she was heading.  There, just inside the doorway stood someone none of them expected to see.

"Willow?" Cordelia questioned.  This girl certainly looked like the girl she knew from Sunnydale, or at least she looked like the shell of the girl she knew.  Willow was thinner and much paler than the ex cheerleader remembered and the dark circles under her eyes made her face look like that of a skeleton.

Willow just stood where she was, unable to make her feet move or do anything more than slightly nod her head.  She was beginning to wonder if coming here was really a good idea after all.

Angel knew something was wrong, he could feel it in his soul.  He got up from his chair and quickly made his way over to where Willow was standing.

"Willow, what's wrong?" he asked gently, trying to get her to look him in the eye.  She refused to make eye contact with him.

Slowly she opened her mouth and began her patented Willow babble.  "I wasn't sure if it was good to come here, but I knew we couldn't go back to Sunnydale.  They just won't understand.  So I guess I just came here and I hope you won't turn us away.  Although you have every reason to hate us both. And I hoped that you would see us and understand, but I couldn't get him out of the car.  He's just too heavy and he won't move and I don't have enough strength to levitate him and I don't want him to be dust and."

Angel stopped her babble short by asking her, "Who, Willow?"

For the first time since she arrived, she looked Angel in the eye. "Spike".

"What!?"  The shout came from the group of onlookers who were listening intently to the conversation between the witch and the vampire.

"Please.  We need you" she whispered, her eyes still locked on the dark vampire.  He could she the tears welling up in the green depth and knew that he would do anything to help her.

"Where is he?" he sighed, letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"Outside in the car" she could barely speak above a whisper, but her relief was evident in her eyes. "He's in the backseat, but please hurry.  It's almost sunrise."

"Cordy, get her something to eat and maybe something to drink" Angel told his friend.  "And someone make sure we have some blood on hand for Spike.  Who knows what mood he's going to be in."

***

As Angel stepped outside, he realized that Willow was correct about the sunrise.  Dawn was only a few minutes away.  He hoped that he could just go and grab Spike out of the car and drag him inside.  It wasn't until he bent down to look in the backseat that he realized that not only was there something wrong with Willow but with Spike as well.

Angel opened the door to the backseat and looked at his wayward child lying there, oblivious to is sire's presence next to him. Spike was curled into a tight ball with both hands clenching his head.  Every so often, he would straighten out and then clench his fingers in his hair, almost as if he were trying to scratch something out, but just didn't have the strength to do so.

If it hadn't been for the smell of the pending dawn, Angel would have just sat there observing his childe.  But the dawn was coming and he needed to get both of them inside, now.

He leaned over and softly touched Spike's shoulder. "Spike" he said quietly.  "We need to get you inside.  The dawn's coming."

As soon as Angel touched Spike's shoulder, Spike's head shot up and he looked at Angel.  At first there was just confusion in his eyes, but then recognition dawned on him.  Angel thought everything was going to be ok, until Spike suddenly jerked away and started to scream in terror.

"No, Sire!  I'm sorry.  I didn't know.  I didn't see them sitting there!"  Spike was wailing and thrashing around in the backseat, doing everything he could do to get away from the man sitting next to him.

Angel was in shock.  What was going on?  He was confused by Spike's outburst. "What is he talking about?" Angel wondered out loud.

Spike just continued to bat away Angel's hands and beg for forgiveness.  Suddenly, something Spike said sparked a memory for the older vampire.  Once, not long after William had been turned, he accidentally sat on some art supplies that Angelus had left sitting in a chair.  Angelus had gone into a rage and punished William severely.  Not that Angelus needed much of an excuse to punish William during that time period, he just took great pleasure in it.

For some reason, Spike thought Angel was going to punish him for destroying his precious art supplies, but for Angel, all he wanted was to get inside away from the coming sun's rays.

"Come on Spike" Angel said, a little more harshly than he intended.  "We need to get inside"

"No" Spike sobbed.  "I'm sorry, Sire. Please don't hurt me again. I'm sorry."

Angel was getting desperate.  He could feel the sun coming and Spike was not going to move.  He hated to do it, but he had to do something to get Spike inside.  So he reached quickly behind Spike and pinched him in the back of the neck, hard.  Suddenly, Spike stopped all movement and passed out in the backseat.  Angel quickly pulled the unconscious vampire out of the car and ran for the front door of the hotel, just as the days first rays came over the top of the LA skyline.

~Part: 2~

Angel burst through the doors of the Hyperion just as the sun's rays began to peek over the LA skyline.  He stood there holding his childe as they smoldered from the affects of the sunlight on their skin.

Angel stood there trying to calm down after just barely making it inside before the sun rose.  All eyes were on him as he continued to stand there with Spike in his arms.  As he calmed down, he began to really feel the man he held so close to his body.  Even through the leather duster, he was amazed at how thin Spike felt.  Spike had always been trim, but he always had a pleasant amount of musculature to fill him out nicely.  But now, all that was gone and it scared Angel.

Angel was brought out of his assessment by Willow.  Lightly, she asked, "Angel, are you alright?"

He looked at her questioningly, almost as if he didn't understand her question.  Then he started to move.  "Yeah, Willow.  I'm alright" he replied.

He made his way over to the couch and gently laid his childe down on it.  As he pulled away, he finally got a good look at the younger vampire.  He was amazed at what he saw.  Spike looked like he hadn't eaten in months.  It is very hard for vampires to die from starvation, but it looked like he had given it a good try.  Vampires who didn't eat ended up like living skeletons and that is exactly what Spike looked like right now.

Angel was once again pulled away from his childe by the people in the room, this time it was Wesley who said something to the vampire.

"Angel" he said quietly.  "Willow was going to tell us what brought her and Spike here, but she insisted that we wait for you.  I think we need to hear what she has to say."

Angel took a seat at the table with the rest of his family.  Yes, Angel had come to think of these people who helped him in his quest to help the helpless as his family.  Now he was going to join them and listen to what Willow had to say.

She started to slowly tell the group about everything that had happened over the last few years.  She knew that Angel had kept in touch with Giles somewhat, but she was unsure as to how much he really knew.  Plus, she didn't know what the rest of the group had heard so she decided to just tell everyone everything.

She told them about her foray into magic during college and Spike's capture by the initiative.  Angel could feel the anger rising in him as he heard Willow talk about what had been done to his childe. <Where did that come from?> he wondered.

She talked about the fight against Glory, how they found out about Dawn, and Buffy's death to save the world.again.  Wesley, in particular, found this part of the tale very interesting.  He made her promise that she would tell him everything about this in complete detail at another time.

She talked briefly about Spike and his obsession with Buffy.  The group was very interested in the whole Buffybot thing.  Angel could not believe his ears.  Spike, his childe who had given him nothing but grief over his relationship with the Slayer, had fallen for her.  He wasn't sure how to deal with all this information.

She then began to tell them the hardest part of her story.  She explained how she had brought Buffy back from the dead, thinking that she was in a hell dimension.  It turns out she actually ripped the Slayer out of heaven and Buffy had not taken it well.  Buffy began a painful relationship with Spike and Willow began an unhealthy obsession with dark magic.

She told them about her relationship with Tara and how she died. The redhead had to stop several times during this part of the tale to keep the tears from coming.  It was all just too fresh, but she knew she had to get everything out in the open.

She explained quickly about her turn to dark magic and how she killed Warren.  Just talking about it brought visions to her mind. The feel of the park that night and how good she felt as pulled the skin from his body.  She hated herself and the world.  That was when she decided to end the world.

And just when she was about to end everything, Xander stopped her.

"Xander stopped you?" Cordelia asked.  "Our Xander, the Zeppo of the group."

"Yeah" Willow replied with a small smile on her face.  Of all people, she thought the former cheerleader would have understood Xander's strength.  "It's not the first time, you know.  We don't give him nearly enough credit.  You know, for being the only one of the group without some sort of super power, he sure has had his share of saves."

She then told them about how Giles had taken her to England when he recovered.  She thought he had taken her there to kill her, but he wanted to train her, so she could learn to control the power within her.

"Things went really well for a while" she said shakily.  She wasn't really sure how to explain the next part.  She just hoped they would believe her.  "But then I started to get this nagging feeling that wouldn't go away.  It was as if someone was calling to me.  So, I ignored it for a while."

Willow stopped to take a drink of her tea.  She had been talking for well over an hour and her throat was feeling sore.

"It was kinda freaky", she started again shakily.  "It was like I could hear someone crying in my head.  I didn't understand it at first, it just wouldn't stop.  Sometimes I heard names or sentences, when suddenly one day it hit me.  It was Spike."

"Spike?" Angel questioned.  "Why would Spike be calling to you?"

"During our battle with Glory, I made a telepathic connection with him to give him instructions.  I guess it just stuck."  Willow shook her head at the confusion in her mind.  "I don't really understand it, all I know is I heard him calling to me and I had to help him. He sounded so sad.  So I left England immediately and followed the voice in my head.  For some reason he led me to Africa.  I found him hiding in some caves on the West Coast of Africa.  He looked like he'd been through hell."

"The caves of trial" Wesley spoke up.  "It's like a demon proving ground.  Demons go there to ask for something and then are put through various trials and tribulations to prove their worthiness. If they survive they get what they came for."

"Well Spike survived" Willow continued.  "But I think he's gone little insane."  She looked over at the blonde vampire who had curled up on the couch.  He had resumed clutching at his head like she had seen him do many times before.  It broke her heart to see him like this.  "I just don't believe what he asked for."

"What was that?" Cordelia asked, forcing herself to stop staring at the trembling redhead across from her.

"His soul" Angel replied, barely above a whisper.

"What?" the others at the table exclaimed.

"He has a soul" Angel whispered, staring Willow in the eye.  "Isn't that right?"

"Yeah" she whispered back.  "I don't know how or why, but when I found him, it was obvious he was different.  In one of his more coherent moments, he told me he got his soul back."

"What do you mean more coherent moments, Willow?" Angel asked.  It was still hard to believe that Spike had a soul.

"Well, ever since I found him, he has been in and out of it." She answered, staring into her cooling cup of tea.  It was hard for her to believe that the `Big Bad' could be so vulnerable.  "Sometimes he talks to me like he knows what's going on, but other times he screams or talks about things I think are from the past."

"It's hard" Angel started.  It was difficult to talk about what it was like for him when he first received his soul.  He suddenly felt bad for Spike to have to go through this.  He knew how much it hurt.  "Sometimes he can hear the screams of the people he killed, so it's like reliving everything as it happened.  It's hard to remember what year it is when the memories are coming back so fast. Unfortunately, he will never forget.  Every memory is like it just happened.  So fresh, so real."  The more the dark vampire talked, the quieter he got.  He suddenly realized that he needed to help Spike get through this.  He had been so alone; he wouldn't let Spike suffer alone.

The gang stared at the now quiet vampire.  They realized that Angel had just reveled something very personal to them.  Willow smiled weakly at her friend as she reached over and lightly put her hand over his.  He looked into her emerald eyes, wet with tears that were threatening to fall.  He knew that she understood his pain and Spike's.

"Well" Willow continued with a sigh.  "I was able to levitate him to the car I was renting and we started to head toward America.  At first I thought we were going back to Sunnydale.  It's been my home all my life, but the closer we got, the more I knew we couldn't go back there.  It's just too painful.for both of us."  Willow had to pause as tears threatened to fall again.  This time, Angel reached over and squeezed the young witch's hand.

"It wasn't until yesterday that I realized that we were coming here" she whispered, glancing back down at the cup in here hand.  "I didn't know where else to turn.  You're the only one I could trust, Angel.  You're the only one who understands what he.what we've been through.  Will you help us?"

Willow looked into the chocolate eyes of the dark vampire, pleading with him with her own.  A single tear rolled down her cheek as she waited for his answer.

Angel could not believe that Willow would ever ask him such a thing.  How could he not help them?  He cared for them both so much, he would do anything to help them both.  "Of course, Willow" he whispered as he stood to pull her into his embrace.  "We'll all help you."  The small girl began to weep as the vampire held her close and lightly traced small circles on her back trying to give her some form of comfort.

After Willow was able to calm and collect her emotions, she slowly pulled away from her friend and smiled weakly up at him, thanking him for allowing her a moment of grief.  As she sat back down in her seat, she looked at the group and asked, "So, is there anything new with you guys?"

~Part: 3~

The Angel Investigations crew looked at Willow for a moment before turning to Angel to wait for him to start telling their visitor what had happened to the group for the last few years.

The dark vampire took a deep, calming breath and began to explain to Willow the short story of what had happened to him and his family. He told her about the trip to Pylea and finding Fred in Lorne's home world.  Fred smiled shyly at the redheaded witch throughout the story.  He explained that after they came back, Wolfram and Hart brought Darla back and she began to invade his dreams.

"I kinda went off the deep end" Angel whispered.  "I pushed everyone away.  I'm sure these guys hated me for a while, but, at the time, I thought it was necessary.  I thought Darla and Dru would come after them."

He told her briefly about his `encounter' with Darla.

"And you didn't lose your soul?" Willow asked, surprised at this turn of events.

"No" Angel answered.  "It was less than perfect happiness, so the soul is still intact.  But I felt something.  It was weird."

With that out of the way, he explained about Conner.  Willow was in shock.  Angel had a son.  She had so many questions, but by the look on Angel's face she knew that they should wait for another time.

He told her about Wesley taking the baby and how Holtz had taken him away to Quar-toth.  Willow felt tears in her eyes as she heard the pain in her friend's voice and the dejected look on Wesley's face.

Amazingly, there was more to the story.  Connor, now a young man, found a way back and had tried repeatedly to kill Angel.  The most amazing part of the story for Willow was when Angel told her that his own son had imprisoned him in a metal coffin and dumped him in the ocean, leaving him to suffer in complete and utter isolation.

Angel took a moment to calm himself.  He hadn't talked to anyone about his imprisonment since he had returned.  It was still so painful.  During the pause, Wesley took it upon himself to finish the tale.

The former watcher told the young witch about his search to find Angel and bringing him back to the surface.  He let her know that he had been back for about two weeks.  Willow was in awe listening to the remainder of the tale.  It was amazing.  She couldn't help but notice the strange scar on Wesley's neck and the way his voice was a little hoarse as he talked.

So much had happened to her friends since she had seen them last. Willow suddenly felt sad that she hadn't kept in touch with them. Maybe they could have helped each other through these difficult times.  She took a shuttering breath and asked, "Is that it, or is there something else I might need to know?"

"Oh!" Cordelia blurted.  "I'm half demon now, you know, to keep my brain from exploding from the visions and I went to a higher plain to talk to the PTB when Angel first went missing."

"Ok" Willow said slowly, looking at the former cheerleader.  Being half demon was something she never thought Cordelia would be proud of.  "And what happened to Conner?"

"No one knows" Fred said quietly.  "We have been looking for him, but so far we've come up empty handed."

"Well" Angel said, pulling himself up from the table.  "I think that's enough information exchange for now.  I don't know about all of you, but I'm exhausted."

"Sleep sounds wonderful" Willow sighed before finishing off her tea.  "Angel, you really don't mind if we stay here, do you?"

"Not at all, Willow" he replied with a smile.  "In fact, I won't let you stay anywhere else."

"Thank you Angel" the redhead returned the smile of her friend.

"Cordy, will you take Willow up to the room across the hall from my suite and then make sure that the room next to mine is set up. We'll put Spike in there when he gets up."  The dark vampire looked down at his childe still silent on the couch.  <What am I going to do with him?> he wondered.

Cordy quickly reached over and grabbed Willow by the arm and began to lead her up the stairs towards the room she would be staying in. Wes and Lorne both grabbed the bags belonging to the witch and the vampire and followed the two girls upstairs.  Fred and Gunn quickly cleaned up the dishes in the room and then headed up to their room for the night.

After everyone left, Angel walked over to the couch where his childe lay.  He looked down at him and wondered what had brought him to this point.  Smiling at the prone form, he realized that Spike was no longer asleep, but faking.

"How long have you been awake, Spike?" he asked quietly.

Spike slowly opened one eye and looked up at his sire.  He knew he couldn't lie to him so he slowly sat up and took a deep breath. Avoiding his gaze, Spike whispered, "About the time Red started talking about me.  I thought I'd just wait and see what you all had to say."  After a pause, he continued, "I figured you'd throw me out in the sun, what after the last time I was here and all."

Angel didn't really know what to say.  It was true that there had a lot of bad blood between the two vampires, so to speak, but he couldn't believe that Spike thought that he would actually kill his own childe.

"So, you want to tell me what happened, Spike?" the dark vampire asked.  He was very curious about what had happened to Spike to make him go and have his soul restored.

"Not really" he whispered, almost too quiet even for Angel's vampiric hearing.

Angel simply sat down on the couch next to his hurting childe and waited. After a long silence, it became very apparent that Spike was not going to share his story with Angel right now.  That was alright though.  Angel could wait.

"Are you hungry?" Angel asked after a while.  "You look like you haven't eaten in weeks, boy."

Spike visibly flinched at the term Angel had accidentally called him.  Angelus had always called him boy and Spike had apparently not forgotten it.  "Haven't been able to eat" the blonde replied quietly.

"The chip?" Angel asked.

"That and I haven't wanted to."  Spike sounded so sad it broke Angel's heart.

"Well, you need to eat.  I'm not going to sit around and watch you punish yourself."  Angel could feel his anger begin to rise at the man next to him.  <How could he be punishing himself like this?> he wondered.  <This isn't Spike.> "Here" he handed a mug full of blood to his childe.  "This is still warm.  Drink this and I'll show you the room you're staying in."

"No" Spike whimpered, looking down into the mug in his lap.  He didn't deserve the blood or Angel's kindness.

Angel took a deep breath, trying not to lose his temper.  "Yes, Spike.  I am still your Sire and you will do what I say.  Now drink your blood."

Spike's eyes got wide as Angel took on his `Sire voice'.  He remembered that voice and tears soon began to form in his eyes as he thought about the days when Angelus used that voice, not in anger but in love.  To block those thoughts from his confused mind, Spike lifted the mug and quickly downed the contents.  He made a face as he tasted the cow's blood.  He snorted and he thought about how crazy his life had become.

"What is that about?" Angel asked, confused by his childe's reaction.

"They used to feed this to me" the blonde started off quietly.  "Chained me in the tub and feed me through a straw like some sort of invalid.  Don't blame `em.  Never did anything to make them trust me. Awful man. I'm just an awful man."  His words quickly broke down into ramblings that Angel had a hard time understanding.

"Who chained you in the tub, Spike?"

Spike turned his head to look in his sire's eyes and shook the coming grief from his head.  He shrugged and said simply, "Scoobies.  Put me in the watcher's tub so I wouldn't cause trouble. Did anyway."

Angel couldn't believe what he heard.  <They chained him in a tub? I'll have to talk to Willow about that later.> he thought.

"You need to eat, Spike" he said, looking his childe in the eye, trying to convey to him the need of the situation.  "You won't heal until you do."

"Don't deserve it" Spike whispered.  He dropped the mug and brought his knees up to his chest.  Before Spike could curl up into a complete ball, Angel firmly grabbed his wrists and forced him to look him in the eye.

Angel was not going to let his childe suffer like he did.  When Angel first had his soul restored, he shunned all help because of his guilt and shame.  Later, he wished he had someone to help him share his burden.  He would do that for Spike.

Angel finally decided what he was going to do.  He deftly picked up his emaciated childe and placed him in his lap.  Spike's eye got wide at the quick motion but was too weak to extract himself from his sire's strong grasp.  The blonde vampire stared in awe as he watched the older vampire raise his hand to delicately slice a small cut on his corded neck.  "Drink, childe" he whispered as he stared piercingly into the other man's eyes.

At first, Spike didn't move.  The smell of his sire's blood was intoxicating and his mouth watered just thinking about tasting it. <Why is he trying to help me?> he wondered.  He didn't understand why his sire, who hated him, would be willing to help him, much less feed him. Angel sensed Spike's reluctance, but he was not going to let him off that easily.  He reached around and grabbed the blonde by the back of the head and pulled him toward the bleeding cut.  Spike tried to pull away, but didn't have the strength.  Angel growled deep in his throat to let his childe know that he would not allow disobedience.

Spike's lip gently brushed the trickle of blood and he shuddered at the familiar taste.  It was more than he could handle.  Gently, he snaked out his tongue to taste his sire's essence more fully.  He moaned at the rush he felt as Angel's blood began to fill his mouth.  He swallowed slowly and felt a warmth he had missed for almost a century fill his aching stomach.

Angel took an unnecessary deep breath at the feeling of his childe's lips on his neck.  He grabbed him even tighter in his embrace.

Feeling his sire hold him so close, Spike's true face emerged and he bit into Angel's corded neck and his rich blood poured into Spike's mouth.  Angel moaned at the feeling of his childe feeding from him and began to rub his erection against Spike's hip.

They were lost in a myriad of sensations.  Suddenly, Angel began to feel slightly lightheaded and realized that Spike had taken enough of his blood for the time being.  Spike pulled away and looked into his sire's eyes.  He was surprised to see a hint of desire, and what was that poking his hip?  <Is Angel turned on?> Spike didn't know what to think.

Angel was the first to speak.  "I think maybe we need to get some sleep.  We can talk more later after everyone has rested."

Spike slowly pulled himself out of Angel's lap and stood shakily by the couch. It had been a while since he had used his muscles and he was unsure whether or not he could make it up the stairs.  Luckily, Angel stood up and put a gentle arm around him.  "I'll show you where your room is" he said quietly as he guided his childe upstairs to the room he would be staying in for a while.

After Angel opened the door and showed Spike his room, he turned to him and said, "This suite is mine and Willow is right across the hall so if you need anything, you'll know where to find us."

Spike looked up into Angel's chocolate eyes and smiled a small smile of gratitude.  He knew he needed to say something, but he couldn't seem to force his mouth to work.  He simply nodded and walked into his new room.  Once he was inside, he closed the door and leaned his back against it.  He sighed as he slid down the door and began to softly weep.

Angel watched Spike walk into his room and let out a sigh of relief.  Apparently Spike was not going to fight him on this.  He shook his head as he turned away from the door and headed to his own suite to get some much needed rest.

~Part: 4~

Angel turned away from the closed door to Spike's room and slowly headed towards his suite.  So much had happened in the last few hours he was feeling very extremely overwhelmed.  How could he help Spike and Willow when he still needed to deal with the tumultuous emotions of his own?

As he passed the door to Willow's room, Angel paused.  He felt something.  Something.wrong.   He wasn't sure what it was, but he was suddenly very concerned.  Tapping lightly on the door, Angel called out Willow's name.  He waited a few moments, but didn't get a response.  He called out louder when he heard a muffled cry come from the room.

Angel decided he couldn't wait any longer and tried the knob. Finding the door unlocked, he rushed in the room, hoping he wasn't betraying his friend's privacy.

The sight he saw stopped Angel dead in his tracks.  Willow was floating almost three feet above the bed and was surrounded by crackling lines of electricity.  The dark vampire slowly moved closer to the bed to get a closer look at young witch.  As he approached her, he realized that her hair had turned black and under her breath, almost too quietly even for his vampiric hearing, he could hear her weeping.

"I'm so sorry.I didn't mean it.I'll stop.please" she pleaded over and over.  Angel could see the tears streaming down her cheeks.

He was unsure what to do, so he reached over and slowly touched her shoulder and quietly called her name.

At the sound of his voice, Willow's eyes shot open.  She looked at Angel and practically growled.  He took a step back when he saw that her eyes were completely black.  She sat up and looked at the vampire.  "Nothing in the `verse can stop me" she said before throwing the man across the room.

Angel shook his head, trying to clear the buzzing he heard inside. <She's more powerful than I remember> Angel thought.  He stood up and rushed to his friend's side.  Before she could attack him again, he grabbed her tightly and held her arms tightly to her sides.  "Willow!  Willow, you have to stop this, now!"

"I can't" she cried.  "I can't just stop."  As the dark vampire held her even tighter, she began to cry even harder.  "I don't know what to do" she wept.  As the tears streamed down her face, Angel watched the black bleed from her hair as it returned to her normal red.

Willow fell down onto the bed with a thud and clung to the vampire like a lifeline.  Angel held her close and stroked her hair, trying to make soothing sounds to comfort his friend.  Slowly, Willow's weeping slowed, but she seemed to be trying to burrow herself into Angel's chest.

When she had finally calmed down enough to talk, Angel asked her, "Willow, what was that all about?"

"I don't know" she whispered, never pulling her head away from his chest.  "That's never happened before.  I was having a dream about when I.when I was trying to kill everyone.  They next thing I knew, you were holding me.  What if I can't control it, Angel?"

"Willow" he whispered comfortingly.  "We will work things out, ok? You can't just stop doing magic.  It's a part of you.  What we have to do is work on your control and get you past this grief.  But you can do it."

"That's what Giles said" she replied with a sob.  "He said the magic is a part of me and just stopping would be worse for me."

"See" Angel said, as he continued to comfort the young witch.  "It's who you are."  He sighed before continuing.  "I'm going to tell you something, but you have to promise not to tell anyone."

"Of course" she said.  She thought maybe she should pull herself out of the vampire's embrace, but it felt so good to be held she couldn't bring herself to move.

"Not long after I left Sunnydale, Buffy came to see me here in LA, remember?"

"Yeah" Willow nodded slowly.  She wondered what this had to do with her.

"Well, I became infected with the blood of a Mora demon and was made human."

"You were human!" Willow exclaimed sitting up abruptly and banging her head on Angel's chin.  "Ouch."

"Yeah" he chuckled as he pulled her back to his chest.  "Now let me finish.  Buffy came and I was made human.  It was everything I had ever dreamed of.  We made love all afternoon, she introduced me to the wonders of food."

"Oh! Did she give you chocolate ice cream?" Willow interrupted.

"Yeah, Cookie Dough Fudge Mint Chip.  It was wonderful" he continued.  "But then Doyle had a vision and I had to go fight a demon.  It kicked my ass.  I've been a vampire for so long, I didn't know how to fight as a human.  Buffy had to come and save me.  I realized that I would never be of any help as a human.  I'm a vampire and being human, with all the vulnerabilities, was going to get me killed."

Angel took a deep breath as he felt the pain of the day he never shared with anyone.  "I went to the Oracles and asked them to change me back."

"What?" Willow cried as she pulled back to look into his eyes.  She saw the sadness hidden there and she thought her heart might break for her friend.  She knew how much he loved Buffy and for him to give that up for her must have been the hardest decision anyone could have made.

"Yeah" he whispered and he dropped his head to keep from looking her in the eye.  "It wasn't me.  I was no longer a warrior, I was. Xander."

Willow snickered at the thought of Angel being like Xander.  "So why didn't Buffy ever tell me about this?"

"She doesn't know" he replied as his voice wavered with emotion.  "The Oracles turned back the day and I killed the demon before I was infected, so it never happened.  Except.I remember.  No one knows except me.and now you."

Angel paused before he finished the story.  Somehow he was surprised that it didn't hurt more.  Maybe he had actually moved on.  He lifted his head to look at Willow.  "I'm a vampire, Willow.  You're a witch.  We have to accept what we are and deal with it.  I know it's hard but you have people here who are willing to help."

Willow leaned back against Angel's chest.  "Thank you" she whispered.  She felt so safe there, in his arms she didn't want him to leave.

"Willow, I'm you're friend and I care about you.  I'll do whatever it takes to help you."  Angel leaned his head down to kiss the redhead on the top of her head that was tucked under his chin.  As he did, he took a moment to take in her scent.  It was warm and sweet, almost like cinnamon.  He smiled into her hair.

Willow tilted her head to look up at the man holding and making her feel safe and wanted for the first time since Tara.  Angel looked down into her eyes and before either one knew what was happening, their lips brushed in the gentlest of kisses.

Feeling Angel's cool lips against hers, Willow sat up to deepen the kiss.  She slowly parted her lips and lightly licked the dark vampire's lips.  Angel growled at the teasing tongue of the young witch.

Suddenly, they both pulled apart and looked at each other.  Angel has the first to speak.  "Willow, I am so sorry."

"No, Angel" she replied.  "It's all my fault.  I shouldn't have taken advantage of you."

Angel chuckled.  She thought she had taken advantage of him.  He leaned over and kissed her softly on her forehead.  "I think it's time for us to get to bed."

Willow gasped at Angel's suggestion.

If the vampire could have blushed, he would have been a deep shade of red.  "I mean, we should each go to sleep in our own rooms.  It's been a long night and we both need our rest."  He stood to get himself away from the redhead's tempting lips.  "Good night, Willow."

"Good night, Angel" she whispered as the vampire walked out of her room and quietly closed the door behind him.  After a moment she whispered, "How the hell am I supposed to go sleep after that?  What was that?"

Willow snuggled back into her bed and tried to forget how wonderful his lips felt on hers.  As she drifted off, she was chanting, "Gay now. Gay now."

~Part: 5~

Angel sat back and enjoyed the feeling of the sun on his face.  He was dreaming.  He was always in the sun in his dreams.  He sighed as he felt a presence come up behind him.  He always enjoyed these dreams and now he was about to be disturbed.

He turned around slowly to see what was coming between him and his quiet time.  He froze when he saw the two people staring at him. Willow and Spike looked at him with the saddest look on there faces.

"What are you doing here?" he asked them.

"Waiting for you" Willow whispered.  "We need your help."

"Why me?" he asked.

"Need you, Sire" Spike whispered.  "You're the only one."

"I don't understand."  Angel was confused.  What did they expect him to do?

Willow reached up delicately with her fingers and began to undo the buttons on her shirt.  When all the buttons were open, she pulled open her shirt to reveal two round, pert breasts with a swirling black hole between them.  She turned her head to Spike who began undoing his own shirt.  He also removed his shirt to reveal that, he too had a black hole in the middle of his well defined chest.

Angel stared at them for a moment.  The both of them, standing there topless was an amazing sight.  They stood there staring at him. Slowly, Angel began to remove his own shirt.  He slowly opened it and was shocked to find that there was a large hole in the middle of his chest.  He trailed his pale fingers from his navel up his stomach to gently touch the darkness.  As he reached the hole, he slowly pushed his fingers into his chest.  They met with no resistance and he realized that he indeed had a hole in him.

Angel was brought out of analysis by Willow.  "We need your help and it looks like you need ours."

"But I don't know what to do" Angel whispered.

"Fill us" Spike replied.

Unsure what he needed to do, Angel slowly walked over to Willow and pulled her in a gentle embrace.  He leaned his head down and breathed in her scent.  Willow pulled back and looked him in the eye.

"Fill me" she whispered.

Angel slowly descended until his lips were hovering over the redhead's soft, pink lips.  As they connected, he felt her pain and grief.  It was as if they had a connection through their kiss. Angel began to weep as he pulled in her sorrow through their kiss. After a moment, he pulled back and looked at her chest.  Slowly, the tears he cried began to drip down into the hole and it began to close.

Understanding suddenly dawned on the dark vampire.  He realized that he needed to share their pain, so he walked over to Spike and took him in his arms.  Angel was surprised when his wayward childe offered no resistance.  The dark vampire gently cupped the younger man's cheek and leaned down to taste his lips.

Feeling his childe's lips on his was quite a rush for Angel.  It had been so long since he had tasted his favored one, that he quickly clutched the man to his chest and crushed his lips to him.  He realized that this kiss was different from the kiss with Willow.  He needed something different.  But he was unsure what it could be.

As he broke away from the passionate kiss, Spike whispered "Sire".

That's when it hit Angel what Spike needed.  He needed his Sire.

Angel pulled Spike close again and kissed him with an unrestrained passion he hadn't felt in much too long.  Spike opened his mouth to Angel's questing tongue and moaned at the feeling the elder vampire was causing in him.  The dark vampire quickly thrust his tongue into the younger mans mouth and scraped his tongue on Spike's now emerging fangs.  As his Sire's blood filled his mouth, Spike's knees buckled and he threatened to collapse on the ground.  Angel held him close and deepened the kiss.  He took Spike's tongue in his mouth and quickly impaled the muscle on his own fang and began to drink down their combined fluids.

Quickly, they both pulled away and stared at each other.  Angel slowly traced a finger around the hole in Spike's chest as he watched the blood drip down begin to fill in the blackness there.

"Angel" the redheaded witch called.  Angel looked up at her to see that her hole was smaller but not completely filled.

"What?" he asked.

"You" she said simply as she pointed to his chest.  The hole in his chest was still as large and dark as it had been.  When he looked at his two companions, they slowly began to make their way over to him.  When they reached him, they both began to delicately touch his exposed back and chest.  Butterfly kisses and gentle caresses began to move the dark vampire and he reached over to embrace the two people gently loving him.  He heard them begin to call his name.

"Angel.Angel."  Then he heard a horrible pounding and his name even louder.  "Angel!  Angel are you in there?  Cordelia has had another vision.  Angel?"

Slowly, Angel awoke from the strange and wonderful dream.  He didn't want to leave.  He felt so.fulfilled with those two in his arms. What did the dream mean?  He would have to figure that out later. Right now, he had a job to do.

"I'm up, Wes" he called to the door.  "I'll be down in just a few minutes."

"Very well" the former watcher called back through the door.

Angel laid in the dark for a few more moments before rising out of his bed and heading toward the bathroom.  Judging by the hard on he was sporting he needed a cold shower.  A very cold shower.

~Part: 6~

Angel walked into the Hyperion exhausted.  He hadn't slept well and now he was covered in demon goo.  Plus his head hurt from having to listen to Cordelia go on and on about how much she hated that demons always seemed to dissolve into some kind of goo.  Tired and dejected, the dark vampire walked over to the weapons case and replaced the broad sword once it was cleaned.

"Is everything alright?" the small voice behind him asked.

Angel turned around to see Willow standing in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal in her hands.

"Yeah" Angel smiled at his friend as he turned and walked toward her.  "Cordy just had a vision and we had to go and do a slash and trash."  Willow giggled when she heard the slang term coming from the normally proper vampire.  "What?" he asked.

"You used slang" she said as she pushed another spoonful of the sweet corn puffs into her mouth.

"I guess so" he replied with a smile.  "I guess I've been around Gunn and Cordy too long."  It felt good to be around the young witch.  Even after the awkwardness of the incident the night before, Willow still made him feel comfortable.  He noticed that she was making short order of the cereal.  "I take it you haven't eaten in a while."

"What?" Willow asked.  Suddenly she realized that she was shoveling the cereal into her mouth like Xander.  "Oh, sorry.  I was in such a rush to get here that I didn't stop very often."

"Well, then you and Spike have something in common I guess."

"I know" she whispered and her bright mood suddenly became increasingly darker.  "I had a hard time trying to get him to eat on the way here.  I knew he was starving just by looking at him, but it was like he was not eating on purpose.  Once I even."

Her friend looked at her as she trailed off mid-thought.  "What Willow?" he asked quietly.

"Once, I offered him to try and drink a little from me" she whispered, looking into Angel's chocolate eyes.  "I thought maybe he was tired of the animal blood, but I just seemed to make things worse.  He kept saying he couldn't hurt the girl and didn't deserve my taste.  I almost forgot about the chip, but I thought it would be like entering a home.  You know, it would be ok if he had an invitation.  But he wouldn't even try."

"Well, it was a nice thought Willow, but it probably is a good thing he didn't try."  Angel was surprised that the young witch would be willing to offer herself to be bitten by her once enemy just because he needed her help.  "He has gone so long without feeding that until I get him well nourished his feeding will probably be pretty crazed.  The bloodlust might make him lose control, even with the soul."

"What is that on your neck?" Willow asked when she noticed that Angel was lightly trailing his fingertips along his neck.

Angel pulled his hand away from his neck when he realized that he was touching the bite mark Spike had made the night before.  He sighed as he remembered the feeling of his childe's lips on his skin and his fangs in his vein.  He opened his eyes and looked at Willow who was staring at him waiting for an answer.

"He fed from you last night, didn't he?" she asked as she stepped closer to the dark vampire and moved the collar of his shirt away from his neck.  She gasped when she saw the ragged bite mark on the pale flesh.  She lightly trailed the mark gently with her finger but pulled away quickly when she felt the vampire shiver.  "Sorry" she said and quickly found something very interesting in her bowl to look at instead of Angel.

"It's all right" he said pulling his collar snuggly up around his neck.  "He needed to eat and he wouldn't take the blood in the mug, besides, Sire's blood can heal him faster than almost anything. He's going to need more than I can give him right now."

"I know" Willow said daring to look up into the vampire's eyes again.  "I was so overwhelmed when I first found him.  I guess I just kind of went on auto pilot.  All I knew was that I couldn't go back to Sunnydale."

"Speaking of Sunnydale" Angel quickly changed the subject.  There was something he needed to know.  "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, anything" she smiled that they were going to talk about something else.  "But let's go in the kitchen so I can put this bowl away."

Angel followed the redhead into the kitchen and waited until she had rinsed out her bowl and placed it in the sink.  Once he was sure he had her full attention, he asked, "What happened in Sunnydale after Spike had the chip implanted?"

Willow looked at her friend and froze for a moment.  She was afraid this would come up.  "What did Spike tell you?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter what Spike told me" Angel growled slightly.  It upset him that the Sunnydale gang had treated his childe so poorly, but he didn't like to be played by a friend.

Willow stood with her mouth open for a moment, surprised at the vampire's response.  She closed her mouth and answered him.  "He came to us for help and Giles said he could stay as long as he was secured.  He was afraid that Spike would try something, which he did!  He got us to fight against each other to help Adam."

"You chained him in the tub!" he yelled, a little louder than he had intended.

Willow was surprised at the vampire's display.  He was acting very un-Angel like.  "We didn't know what else to do.  He has tried to kill all of us before, and sometimes he stayed at Xander's."

"That is not the point, Willow" Angel said a little gentler as he took a step toward the small redhead.  "You took away all he was as a vampire.  He lost his ability to feed, to protect himself and you treated him like an invalid.  No wonder he turned to Buffy.  The Slayer was the only one who could make him feel like a vampire again."

Realization washed over Willow's face and she started to cry.  She had felt bad for the blonde vampire during his stay at the watcher's house, but she couldn't go against what the group said.  She couldn't believe she had hurt him so badly.

Angel looked at the redhead and she dropped her head and quietly wept.  He closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her tightly.  He tried to soothe her by lightly rubbing her back.  As he did, he had a flashback to the dream he had.  She needed to grieve and he wanted to help her, but as she clutched to his chest he began to realize how warm she was.  He leaned his head down to smell her hair and he smiled.

Willow felt Angel's face pressed to the top of her head and smiled. It felt comfortable in his arms.  For the first time since Tara, she felt she could lose her herself in someone.

Angel was enjoying the feeling of the girl in his arms, maybe a little too much.  He felt himself begin to harden as Willow snuggled into his embrace.  He knew he had to stop this now before things got out of hand.

Stepping away slightly and clearing his throat, Angel asked, "Has Spike come down to get something to eat?"

"I haven't seen him" Willow replied as she wiped the tears from her face.

"I think I'd better go check on him" Angel said.  Before he turned to check on his childe, he leaned down and placed a delicate kiss on her forehead.

Quickly making his way upstairs, Angel tried to shake the feelings raging through him for the young witch.  Willow had always been a good friend, nothing more.  But since she had shown up the day before, something seemed different.  Was he attracted to her?  He would have to think about that later.  Right now, he had a childe to look after.

~Part: 7~

Angel paused at the door that led to where his childe was.  He knew how difficult it was to deal with a new soul.  In all honesty, it was still hard.  Everyday was just as hard as the first.  Angel had just learned to control it.  Being around humans was torture in itself.  Hearing their hearts beating and knowing all that blood was simply waiting for him just under their skin was enough to drive any vampire crazy.  He couldn't believe that Spike had stayed and help the Scoobies as long as he had.  Sure, he had a chip that caused him incredible pain if he tried to bite someone, but he had stayed of his own free will.  The fact that Spike didn't come to him for help hurt Angel more than he could express.

Angel sighed, shaking off his internal musings.  He raised his hand and gently knocked on the door.  He waited a few moments, but never got a response.  He knocked again and this time put his ear to the door.  He could sense his childe inside, but there was no movement in the room.

"Spike" he called through the door and still got no response.  "Spike" he called louder,  hoping he was just sleeping.

Still not getting any response, Angel decided he needed to make sure Spike was alright, so he tried the door.  It was unlocked, but the door would not open.  Something was blocking the door.  Angel pushed harder and tried to move whatever it was that was in the way. Slowly he made some headway and was able to open the door enough that he could get in the room.

Once inside the room, he was able to make out what was preventing him from getting inside.  It was Spike.  Apparently he had slumped against the door after Angel left the night before and stayed there all day.

Angel slid down the door and sat next to the sleeping vampire. <What am I going to do with him?> Angel wondered.  Looking at his childe, Angel felt such pain through their bond.  The worst part was the fact that he let him get away from him for so long.  He should have gone to him earlier.  He should have made things right.  But how?  It's not like Spike would have come running into his arms and say all was forgiven.  Especially after what had happened with Angelus in Sunnydale.

The dark vampire sighed as he reached over and pulled his childe into his lap.  Recognizing the feel and scent of his Sire, Spike snuggled into the older man's chest and inhaled deeply.  Suddenly he growled and sat up, fully awake.

"What?" Angel asked as he saw the accusatory look in Spike's eyes.

"You smell of her" he growled.  "Moved on already, Peaches?"

"She needed some comfort, that's all" he replied.

"And you were more than willing to give it, weren't ya'.  Give the girls what they need and leave Spike to his own designs."  He was crying now, not even realizing it.  "Don't need love, not capable of love, not Spike, he's nothing more than a monster."

"Will!" Angel yelled, stopping the ranting vampire short.  "I am not Buffy! I am your Sire and I am here to help you.  Please, let me help you."  Angel realized he was pleading with Spike, but he didn't care.  He needed Spike to know that he cared and wanted to do something to help him.

Spike was stunned.  He really didn't think Angel still cared or wanted to help.  He expected Angel to do what he had always done, abandon him.  He looked at the dark vampire and, with the saddest eyes Angel had ever seen, asked, "You're not going to leave me again, Sire?"

"No, Spike" Angel whispered, gathering the blonde back into his arms.  "This time, we do this together."

Spike looked up at his Sire, waiting for the other shoe to drop. When it never happened, he sighed and leaned into his embrace.

Angel sighed as felt Spike relax against him.  It had been so long since he had held Spike, really just held him. It felt good.  Angel leaned down to Spike's head and inhaled.  He smelled of sweat and grime. And now he had some of Angel's demon goo on him too. "How long has it been since you've had a bath, Spike?"

"Don't know?" he replied.  "Since Sunnydale, I guess."

Angel quickly stood up and carried Spike into the bathroom. He sat Spike down and began to fill the tub with water.  As the water began to rise, Angel started to shake.  He didn't realize he was still afraid of the water.  It had been over two weeks and he could still taste the salt water in his mouth.

"You alright, mate?" Spike asked when he saw that Angel was shaking.

<Have to be strong for Spike> Angel thought.  So he turned and looked at his childe and said, "Ok, let's get you in the tub."  He got Spike to stand and started to help him out of his clothes. After he took off his duster, Angel noticed that his t-shirt was torn and burned.  He reached over to pull the shirt up over the blonde's head and noticed for the first time the scars covering his previously flawless chest.

"What happened to you?" he whispered.  Angel couldn't help but reach over and trace the cluster of cuts directly over Spike's unbeating heart.

At the contact, Spike flinched from the fingers as though he had been burned.  Staring at the ground, he whispered, "Tried to cut it out, but it won't come out."

Angel was fascinated by the man's chest.  Even through the marks covering his flesh, he was amazing.  The dark vampire was entranced by his  childe.

"Um, Angel" Spike interrupted the vampire's thoughts.  When Angel looked up into the questioning blue eyes, Spike said, "The tub. It's almost full."

"Oh" Angel turned quickly and shut the water off.  Turning back to Spike, he finished the job of removing his clothes and went to set the now naked vampire in the tub.

"No" Spike said before he touched the water.  "Will you.will you come in with me?  You've got.goo."

Angel froze for a moment.  He and Spike had taken baths together plenty of times, but he didn't know if he could get in the water. Everything was just too fresh in his mind.  He looked at Spike and whispered, "I can't."

"What's a matter, Peaches?  Don't wanna get naked with me?"  Spike had a sad look on his face.

"No Spike" he started.  "It's not that I don't want to get naked, I can't get in the tub."

Suddenly Spike realized what the problem was.  Angel was afraid of the water.

"Put me down, Sire" he whispered.

Angel slowly let Spike down.  Spike turned to him and stepped in the tub.  "See, its ok, luv.  Can't hurt you.  Join me."  Spike held out his hand to the hesitant vampire.

"I can't Spike." He felt as though he was going to cry.  He couldn't believe the feelings rising in him.  He had tried to hide from the feelings but now they came up strong.  "You don't know what it was like.  I couldn't breathe or speak.  It was like I was completely alone.  I was completely alone.  I don't ever want to feel like that again."  By the time he had finished, he was weeping.  It hurt to go through those feelings again.

Slowly, he realized that Spike was touching him.  Gentle hands began to slowly remove Angel's clothes a piece at a time.  Angel looked down at the man who was removing his shirt.  Spike was making soothing sounds as he touched each piece of flesh as it was exposed to him.

Satisfied with his work, Spike grabbed a very naked Angel's hand and led him to the tub.  The water was hot, just the way Spike liked it.  The hot water warmed his body, making him feel almost alive.

Watching Spike step into the water, Angel paused as he squeezed Spike's hand.  "I can't" he whispered.

"It's alright, luv" Spike smiled at him.  "I won't let anything hurt you."

Angel knew he needed to do this, for him and for Spike.  He took a deep breath and slowly stepped into the tub.  He had taken a quick shower or two since he had come back, but large amounts of water scared the shit out of him.  As the hot water rushed over his foot, he took a sharp breath in.  Spike slowly pulled the dark vampire further into the tub.  Luckily, most of the bathrooms on this floor had large bathtubs.  Large enough to fit two male vampires.

Spike sat down in the water and enjoyed the slight stinging sensation of the heat against his skin.  He leaned against the side of the tub and pulled Angel down against him.  The further he sank into the water, the more apprehensive Angel became.

"I can't" he whispered.

"Shhh, luv" Spike cooed as he pulled Angel further down into the water and rested his back against his chest.  Angel was lying all the way down, but he was still extremely tense.  Spike began to scoop water in his hands and running them over Angel's shoulders, stopping only to massage the tight muscles.  Spike sighed as he enjoyed the feeling of the pale flesh pressing against his chest.

"See" Spike purred in his Sire's ear.  "It's only water.  Can't hurt you.  Won't let it hurt you."

Slowly, Angel began to relax.  He was starting to feel like an idiot.  He had broke down in front of Spike, the person he was supposed to be helping.  But he was the one who needed help.  Once he realized what Spike had done, he turned and faced his childe.

"Thank you Spike" he whispered.

"Sure, mate" Spike replied with a shrug.

Angel switched places with Spike and began to wash him.  Gently foaming up a washcloth, he cleaned his body making sure to be gentle around the cuts and still healing wounds.  Once he was satisfied that Spike's body was clean, it was time to work on his hair.  Angel missed the old color when Spike was still his William.  It was a much darker color, not quite brown, but certainly not blond.

Spike began to purr as he felt Angel's talented fingers in his hair.  Angel loved to play with Spike's hair after he was first turned.  It was curly but surprisingly soft.  Angel worked the shampoo into the blonde hair and used his nails to massage the scalp.

Angel continued to wash Spike's hair until he was almost asleep.  He gently rinsed out the soap and lifted them both out of the tub. Wrapping a couple of towels around them, he carried his childe to the bed.  He pulled back the covers and laid the drowsy vampire under the sheets.

"Satin" Spike whispered.  "You're such a poof."

"You love them and you know it" Angel answered back with a smirk on his face.  "You need to feed.  If I bring you some human blood, would you drink it?"

"Maybe."  Honestly, he didn't know if he would or not.

"For now, I guess this will have to do."  Angel leaned down and offered his neck to his childe.  At first Spike was going to resist, but then Angel said, "Let me thank you for helping me, Will.  I need this."

Instead of answering, Spike simply leaned up and pierced the man's neck with his fangs.  As the blood ran over his tongue, both men moaned at the sensations.  But as quickly as he starting drinking, Spike stopped.  His head flopped back onto the pillow as he licked his lips, removing the last of his Sire's blood from his lips.

"Thanks, but I think I'm done for now" Spike said through a stifled yawn.  "Need to get some rest, if you think you can tear yourself away from me."  He was smirking that classic Spike smirk as his eyes traveled down the dark vampire's body.  Angel suddenly became very aware of his erection and stood to cover himself with his towel.

"Sleep well, Spike" he said as the blonde laughed at him.  "I'll come and wake you later, ok?"

"Promises, promises, pet" Spike retorted before closing his eyes and falling into a pleasantly peaceful slumber.

Angel watched for a few moments as Spike fell asleep.  He always looked so gorgeous as he slept.  Realizing that he was staring, Angel quickly pulled himself away from watching his childe and went to retrieve his clothing.  After he had dressed in the unsoiled clothes, he left the blonde vampire's room and headed to his room to change before heading downstairs to talk to Willow.

~Part: 8~

After putting on some clean clothes, Angel went to go downstairs to try and get some work done.  As he reached the foyer, he saw Willow and Cordy sitting at Cordelia's desk working on the computer. Apparently, Cordy had asked Willow for some help organizing the desktop, which Willow was more than happy to give.

The dark vampire slipped into his office without attracting the attention of the two girls at the computer.  A few moments later, he emerged with a couple of pieces of paper.  Walking over to where the two girls were sitting, Angel smiled down at his friends.

"Hey Angel" Willow smiled up at her friend.  "What'cha doing?"

"I have a favor to ask of you two" he said.

"What?" Cordelia replied.

"I need you to go out and get me some things" he said as he held out the lists he had made.

Cordelia quickly snatched the pieces of paper out of his hand and began to read through them. "This is a shopping list.  You're going to send us out shopping?"

"Yeah" Angel said with a sigh.  "Spike didn't have anything with him and he is going to need some clothes and other things.  Do you mind?  I'm sure Willow wouldn't mind getting out of here for a little while."  Angel was sure they could hear the desperation in his voice, but he didn't care.  He wanted to do everything he could to help Spike.

Willow smiled as she reached over and placed her hand lightly on his forearm.  "No problem, Angel" she said before turning her head to look at Cordelia.  "You don't mind taking me out for a little, do you Cordy?"

"Of course not" Cordelia smiled an evil smile.  "Especially not if the boss man is paying."  She raised an eyebrow at the dark vampire and smirked as he reached in his pocket to pull out his wallet.

Slowly he placed the company's gold card in her waiting palm.  He remembered the damage she had caused the last time she took off with his credit card, but this time it was definitely a necessity.

"If there is anything that you need, Willow, please be sure to get it now.while I'm feeling generous."  He smiled at the young witch, mirroring the one on her own face.  He wanted her to stay and be happy.

"Hey, wait Angel" Cordelia's exclamation pulled Angel out of his examination of the redhead's emerald eyes.  "Who is this Chaka Khan guy?"

"His name is Charan and he is a blood supplier" Angel said, smiling at the way Cordelia massacred the man's name.

"But you already have a supplier, remember?" she replied looking at the vampire as though he had lost his mind.  "Sam the butcher man sends over his finest twice a week."

"Well" Angel started.  He knew this was going to come up, and he really didn't want to upset the two women.  "Charan kind of works in special orders."

"Like human blood" Willow supplied, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah" Angel said with a sigh.  "But it is acquired by legal means, so no need to worry.  Most of it is stuff that the blood banks couldn't use for whatever reason.  You know, stuff that was meant for surgery and expired or was contaminated.  Sometimes, he has special donors."

"Special donors?" Cordelia asked.

"Yeah.  He has a few people who come in and donate for cash."  He couldn't believe he was telling them this.  "Virgins can earn quite a bit of money just selling a pint at a time."

"Oh" Willow whispered, suddenly embarrassed thinking that the vampire could tell the difference between virgin and non-virgin blood.

"Spike is going to need more than animal blood if he is going to heal properly" Angel explained, hoping that the two women would understand and just get him what he needed.  "Human blood will help him heal faster than animal blood, so he's going to need a lot of it.  I just hope he will take it."  He sighed as he trailed off, waiting for a response from the two friends in front of him.

"Ok, cool!" Cordelia exclaimed, fully accepting Angel reasoning.  "We just give him this note?"

"Yeah" Angel said shaking his head at the former cheerleader's reaction.  "He'll know what to do.  Thanks guys."

"No prob, boss man" Cordelia said as she quickly turned to go and grab her purse.

"Thanks Angel" Willow whispered as she reached up on her toes to place a tiny kiss on his cool cheek.  "I really appreciate this and I'm sure Spike will too."

Angel simply smiled down at her.  <She really has changed> he thought.

"Come on Willow" Cordelia called as she headed toward the door.  "We have a beautiful sunny day ahead of us and a gold card to use, times a wasting!"

Willow just smiled up at the dark vampire before turning to join her waiting friend.

"And Cordelia" Angel called just before she walked outside.  She turned, silently waiting for him to continue.  "Just don't make me cry when the statement comes in."

***

Six hours later, Willow sighed as she slumped down onto the couch in Cordelia's living room.  They decided to stop there after Cordelia found a gorgeous outfit and a pair of shoes she just couldn't live without.

Willow smiled as a glass of iced tea floated towards her, seemingly of it's own volition.

"Thanks Dennis" she said smiling at where she thought the ghost might be.  It was odd to think that Cordelia lived with a man who was currently dead, but who was she to judge.  He seemed really nice.

The brunette walked into the living room after putting away her newest acquisitions.  <Angel owes me> she thought to herself as she walked back out into the living and smiled as a glass came floating her way.  "Thanks Dennis" she said as she made her way over to the couch.  "Do you think Spike will be mad that we didn't get everything in black?"

"I certainly hope not" Willow replied with a smirk.  <It's Angel's fault he sent us out to buy him clothes anyway> she thought.  "I think he'll look good in a little color.  The midnight blue shirt we bought should really bring out his eyes."

"Yeah, well, I think we did a pretty good job under the circumstances" the former cheerleader said as she rose to her feet having finished her iced tea.  She grabbed the glass from the redhead and made her way to the kitchen to deposit the glasses in the sink.  Willow smiled as the television's remote control slowly made its way over to her.

"Thanks Dennis, but I have to get Willow back to hotel with all the stuff we bought" Cordelia said to her invisible friend.  "Now that it as almost dark, we can get Angel to come and empty out the car. Besides if we don't get back soon, the blood will start to get warm and the last thing I want in my car right now is warm blood."

Willow cringed at the thought and put the remote back on the coffee table in front of her.

"You'll have to come back some time and do the girl's night out thing with me, Willow" Cordelia continued as they got ready to leave.  "We can watch chick flicks and eat a bunch of junk food and Dennis can wait on us hand and foot."

"I'd like that" Willow said sincerely.  It was hard for her to believe that this was the same Cordelia Chase she knew in high school.  The same Cordelia Chase who made it a point to make her life a living hell for more years than she was willing to remember. But Willow knew this wasn't the same Cordelia Chase.  She had changed.  She had grown up and moved past all the pettiness of high school and discovered that the real world can be a very scary place.  You needed all the friends you could get.  Suddenly, Willow was glad that she could count Cordy as one of them.  She smiled at the brunette as they walked out to the car.

"What?" she asked, noting the look on the other girls face.

"Nothing" Willow replied nonchalantly.  "We better get going before Angel starts to wonder where we are."

***

Angel was pacing around the foyer of the hotel.  <Where are they?> he fumed.  <How long can it take to do a few errands?>  Of course, Angel knew that this was all his fault.  He had sent Cordelia to do some shopping.  After all, shopping was not just a past time with her, it was a passion.  He wondered if he should have been more specific with the list.  He just hoped that they didn't come back with something that Spike would refuse to wear.

He turned when he heard the car pull up outside.  <Finally> he thought as he opened the front door and walked outside.

Willow giggled as she saw the concerned look on the vampire's face as he walked out to meet them at the car.  "Sorry it took us so long" she said as she stepped from the passenger's side door to start unloading the car.  "We stopped at Cordy's to drop off something that she bought before coming over here."

"Something not too expensive I hope" he said, looking at the brunette.

"Of course not" Cordelia said with a smile.  <At least he won't see the statement for a month. That should buy me some time to do something priceless so he won't blow a gasket> she thought.

Angel sighed as they opened the trunk and he saw the number of bags that filled the back of the car.  "This is Spike, you know" he said.  "He usually wears one thing until it falls off of him and them moves on to the next."

"Not all of this is for Spike" Cordelia replied leading the other two into the hotel, several bags in tow.  "We had to get Willow some stuff too."

Angel turned to look at Willow with a curious look on his face.

Willow saw the look and said, "Well, I was in London when I left to come here, so I needed some more Southern California appropriate clothes.  I hope that's all right."

"Not a problem" Angel smiled at the girl.  "I just thought all this was for Spike."

As they set the bags down, Angel looked for the one he knew would have the blood in it.  Willow was carrying it, so he reached over and went to take it from her.  As he reached to grab the handle, their hands gently touched.  Willow looked up into the vampire's eyes and smiled.  She relinquished the container and Angel made his way into the kitchen to put the contents into the refrigerator.

<Charan certainly has good taste> he thought as he looked over the supply.  It was a good thing he knew the man so well and that he owed Angelus a pretty big favor.  He would be getting a supply similar to this every week to help Spike.  There would probably be enough that he might be able to have a little himself.  He shook that thought away as he finished putting the blood away and went to join the girls in the foyer looking through the bags on the floor.

Satisfied that they had separated the clothes adequately, Willow and Cordelia smiled as Angel walked into the room.  "Ok, that should about do it" Cordelia said, smiling at the vampire.  She handed him four bags full of supplies.  "I think we got everything on the list.  I hope the sizes fit."

"They'll fit" Angel replied.

"Are you sure? Did you ask him?" the seer asked.

"Didn't have to.  I used to buy stuff for Spike all the time and he hasn't changed."  Angel smirked as he thought about previous shopping trips he had made for purchases for Spike.  "I mean, he will when he fills back out.  Once he gets some blood in him, I'm sure everything will fit perfectly."

"Oh, you forgot to put underwear on the list, Angel" Willow whispered as he went to pick up the bags.

"No I didn't" he smirked.  "Spike never wears them."

"Oh" both girls replied before turning away.

"I better get these things upstairs before he wakes up" Angel said as he headed up the stairs.  "Are you coming Willow?" "Yeah Angel" she replied.  "Right behind you."

As they walked upstairs, Willow lightly brushed against the vampire's shoulder.  "This is a really nice thing you did, Angel."

He turned to her and said, "Trust me, it's a purely selfish thing. I can't let him go around in the clothes he has now.  They smell horrible. And knowing Spike, once he got his strength up, if he didn't have anything to wear, he would walk around naked."  He chuckled at the thought.  "Even if it was just to spite me."

Willow giggled at the thought of Spike walking around the hotel buck naked.  She thought <yeah, I bet he would.  Not that that is such a bad idea.>  She shook her head.  <Whoa.  Where did that thought come from?> she wondered.

As they reached the doors to the rooms Willow said, "I'm going to put this stuff away and then I think I'll go back downstairs to eat.  Cordy was talking about ordering some Chinese.  I thought maybe, if you wanted, he could talk a little."

"Sure Willow" he replied.  "I'd like that."

Then they both walked into the rooms to put away the recently purchased supplies.

~Part: 9~

Angel quietly made his way into Spike's room, trying not to wake up the sleeping vampire.  He walked over to the closet and started hanging up the shirts the girls had bought for his childe.  He smiled as he looked at the purchases.  There were several button down shirts, some in very un-Spike like colors.  <Like he'll ever wear these> he smirked.

After all the shirts were put away, he pulled out the T-shirts and jeans they had bought for him.  Most of those were black, but they had managed to throw some color in there as well.

When Angel had finished putting all the clothes away, he reached in the last bag and pulled out the two pairs of boots and the socks the girls had bought.  He put these away and planned on sneaking out of the room but decided to take one last look at his sleeping childe. As he turned around, he was surprised to find Spike awake and staring at him.

"What are you doing, Peaches?" he asked with a sad look in his eyes.

"Just putting some stuff away" Angel replied before walking over to sit on the edge of the bed.

"What stuff?" Spike asked, slightly confused.  "Ain't got no stuff of my own, `cept what I was wearing when I got here."

"I had Cordelia and Willow go out and buy some stuff for you" Angel explained.  "I knew you needed some things and I couldn't let you keep wearing the things you had on before."

"You let the bints pick out some clothes for me?" Spike asked suddenly very scared about his clothing options.

"They did a fine job picking stuff out for you" Angel smiled as he thought about Spike in the midnight blue shirt.  <It would really bring out the blue in his eyes> he thought.

"Do you think you are ready to come downstairs yet?" Angel asked, hoping his childe would be willing to leave the security of this room.  "I got a new supply of blood.  Human, if you think you can drink it."

"Really?" Spike asked, surprised that his Sire would even consider buying human blood.

"Yeah, you're going to need it if you are going to heal properly" Angel looked at his childe out of the corner of his eye, watching him for any sign that the man might have apprehensions about this at all.  "As much as I have enjoyed it, you can't live on my blood alone.  You need more than I can give you."

"It was nice though" Spike whispered, almost too quietly for Angel to hear.

"Yeah" Angel whispered as he stood to head out of the room.  "I told Willow I'd meet her downstairs.  She wanted to talk.  If you want, why don't you get dressed and come down.  I'll warm up some blood and the three of us can talk about your journey and what we need to do."

"Sounds good" Spike said as he shifted on the bed.  Normally, he would have had no problem standing up naked in front of his Sire, but now, he hesitated.

Angel noticed the hesitation and stood and turned quickly to head out the door.  "I'll see you downstairs in a little while."  As he closed the door, Angel sighed, wondering what his childe was doing on the other side.

Spike covered his face with his hands as he thought about everything Angel was doing for him.  Not that he didn't appreciate it, he just didn't understand it.  He slowly got out of the bed on shaky feet and made his way to the closet.

"Bloody chits" Spike whispered as he looked at the shirts hanging before him.  Some of them weren't too bad, but there was no way in hell he was going to wear that green one.  Only poofs like his Sire would wear a green shirt.  He decided to just be safe and wear a black T-shirt and black jeans.  At least they had been smart enough to buy those for him.

He considered wearing shoes, but he didn't have the energy or the patience to bother with them.  Besides, he wasn't going outside, so barefoot would just have to do for now.

As he padded downstairs, he wondered what they would talk about.  He could hear the sounds of conversation going on below him.  All conversation stopped when the people heard him coming down the stairs.  Willow was the first to say something to him.

"Spike" she said cheerily as he walked towards them.  "It's so good to see you up and around.  How are you feeling?"

"Not sure yet" he answered quietly.  "Head's still a little fuzzy."

"Well" Angel said looking at him with compassion in his eyes. "I warmed some blood for you, if you think you can handle it."

"Sure thing, mate."  Spike took the warmed mug from Angel and sat with the three other people at the table as the conversation continued.  Most of the conversation was small talk, keeping away from the touchier subjects.  Willow talked about Buffy's adjustment from being ripped out of heaven, Xander leaving Anya at the alter, and Dawn's troubles.  She talked in length about the time Xander called the musical demon down on them.  Even Spike couldn't help but laugh about that one.  He got to unleash a little bit of his inner Billy Idol and he had fun.

<That seems so long ago> he thought with a sigh.

Cordy and Angel talked about some of the things that had happened to them, specifically about Cordelia becoming half demon.  She was still getting used to the whole thing but it certainly was better than the head splitting pain she once had to endure when the Powers had a message for Angel.

Finally, everyone had finished their meals and Cordelia went about the task of clearing away all the dishes and mugs and cleaning them.  The three remaining people sat in a comfortable silence until she returned.

"Well, folks as much as I enjoy sitting around and talking about the pain that is our lives, I really do need to get home and get some rest" the seer sighed as she walked back to where her friends were sitting.  "So, unless you need anything else, I'll be on my merry way."

"No problem, Cordy" Angel said with a smile.  As much as he hated to admit it, he had been a little antsy waiting for her to leave.  He wanted to talk to Willow and Spike alone, but didn't want to be rude.  "I'll see you tomorrow, alright?  I want to talk to Willow and Spike a little so we might sleep in tomorrow."

"Ok" she replied as she grabbed her purse to head out again.  "I'll see tomorrow. Good night."

Once she had left, silence descended on the group again.  They all had something to say, but no one knew how to start.  Willow was the first to speak.

"So, Spike, how are you feeling, really?"

"A little overwhelmed right now" he started.  "It's like there is so much going on in my brain, sometimes I can't decide what's real and what's memories.  I guess that's one of the things that sucks about being a vampire.  Really great memories.  I remember everything."

"I know how that feels" Angel interjected quietly.  "At first it's hard to get used to all the feelings, but it will happen in time. But first we need to get you healthy again.  You need more blood."

"Don't want more" Spike whispered quietly, looking down at the table avoiding the dark vampire's glare.  "It hurts."

"I know it's hard to drink human blood when you are used to animal blood" Angel said in as soothing a voice as possible.  "But it will be better for you.  The only thing better is Sire's blood and I only have so much to give you."

"Sire's blood" Spike snorted.

"So is Grand-Sire's blood just as good?" Willow asked, slightly confused.

"What?" Angel looked at Willow with a confused look on his face. <What is she talking about?> he wondered.

"Well, you said Sire's blood would work best, but Druscilla isn't here, so I guess your blood would be just as good, right?"  Willow was trying to figure out what the two vampires were talking about.

"What are you talking about?" Angel was very confused about the conversation.

"Druscilla is Spike's Sire, so that makes you his Grand-Sire" Willow explained, wondering what Angel's problem was.

"What?" Angel practically yelled as stood from the table to tower over the now cowering blonde vampire.

"Spike told Buffy that Druscilla was his Sire" Willow replied.

"You told her what?" Angel was screaming now.  He hadn't been this angry in a very long time.

"You're not my Sire" Spike replied weakly, never lifting his eyes from table's surface.

"I am your Sire boy!" Angel shouted at the trembling form in front of him as he felt his demon rise up and his eyes turn golden.

"What?" Willow asked, trying to defuse the situation.

"Druscilla found Spike and wanted to turn him" Angel explained through clenched teeth, trying to maintain his calm.  "But I found her before he could drink from her.  I didn't know what her blood would do to him because of her mental state.  Besides, I wanted him to be my childe.  He had something that appealed to me.I mean, Angelus.  It's my blood in his veins.  He was always Angelus' favored childe."

Without warning, Spike jumped to his feet and punched Angel in the face.  Tears were streaming down his face as he yelled at the form now lying prostrate on the floor.  "You are not my Sire!"

"I am your Sire, boy" Angel growled menacingly as he got up from the floor.  "And you'd best not forget it."

Willow was in shock.  This had completely caught her off guard.  She didn't know what to do.

"You are not my Sire!" Spike yelled again, with even more conviction in his voice.  He was so angry, his vision was tainted red.  "My Sire would never have abandoned me like you did!"

"Spike" Angel whispered, suddenly understanding where this outburst was coming from.  "After I was cursed, I couldn't come back.  I tried, but Darla threw me out.  She hated my soul and wouldn't let me stay."

"But you never came to me" Spike yelled, anger and tears still in eyes.  "I wouldn't have cared about the damn soul.  I wanted you.  I needed you.  You left me with her.  You said you would always protect me from her.  Do you know what she did to me?"  Spike was beyond all reasonable thought at this point.  All he knew was pain and grief.

Angel hung his head as he thought about the promise he had made when he saved him from his Sire's wrath.  Darla hated William and wanted to kill him, but Angelus had promised him his protection.  He never stopped to think about what had happened to him after he left Romania.  "I'm so sorry, Will" he whispered.

"No!" Spike yelled.  "You don't get off that easily.  All you're good at is leaving me.  Remember China?  I was so happy to have you back, but you barely gave me the time of day!  Now that you were all soul-having, the only person you had time for was Darla." Spike practically spat out the last word.  Willow was surprised at the amount of anger and pain the blonde vampire held on to.

"As soon as Darla made it hard on you, you left me again!"  Spike was now pacing the floor as he clenched his fists until his knuckles were no more than stripes of white.  "Then at the school in Sunnydale, you pretended to be Angelus when you offered up the whelp, remember!"

"I remember" Angel whispered, smelling the anger and misery flowing off his childe.  It hurt him to think that this was all his fault.

"I knew it wasn't my Sire, do you know how?"  Not waiting for a response, Spike continued.  "You called me Spike.  Angelus never called me Spike.  He hated that name.  He always called me William or Will.  That's when I knew you weren't my Sire anymore."

Angel sighed.  He had caused Spike so much pain, he didn't know if he could ever make it up to him.  "For everything, Spike, I'm sorr."

"No!" Spike interrupted.  "I'm not done.  My Sire came back after that, remember?  But he wasn't my Sire was he?"  The accusation in his tone scared Angel.

"When I lost my soul" he answered.

"Yeah" Spike spat at him.  "You have no idea how happy I was that my Sire was back.  I thought we would go back to being the family we had been before.  But you were even crueler to me than you were before.  You could have healed me then.  I sat in that fucking wheelchair waiting for you to come and feed me your blood.  Just a few days of feeding and I would have been fine, but you refused. You refused!"

Angel sat back down in his chair and put his face in his hands. Everything Spike had said was true.  He had abandoned him time and time again.  No wonder Spike hated him so much.  He thought he should protest, but he knew Spike needed to get all of this out in the open.  He suddenly wished Willow wasn't here to hear all of this.

"Not only did you not heal me" Spike continued.  "You purposely made things worse.  You'd fucked me and pounded me knowing that my back was broken.  You wanted to keep me like that.  Then you got your fucking soul back and where was poor Spikey at then?  Back on the outside again!  Nothing's ever good enough for you!  I was never good enough for you!"

"Spike" Angel whispered, trying to regain control of the situation.  "Please."

"No!" the blonde yelled, grabbing the older man by the collar of his shirt.  "YOU.ARE.NOT.MY.SIRE!"

Spike then abruptly let go of the shirt and ran upstairs.

All Willow heard was the sound of his footfalls heading upstairs, the slamming of his door and the constant weeping of the man sitting across from her.

~Part: 10~

Willow sat in shock.  She couldn't believe the exchange she had just watched between the two vampires.  She watched Angel weeping for a few moments before standing and walking over to gently begin stroking his dark hair.

Angel reached out and grabbed the girl around the waist as though she were a lifeline.  He sobbed into her chest as he clutched her close to him.  He was holding her so tight that Willow thought she might lose her footing, so she slowly lowered herself so that she was sitting in the dark vampire's lap.

"Shhh, Angel" she whispered.  "It's alright.  He's just angry right now.  You know he didn't mean all those things."

"Yes he did" Angel whispered between sobs.  "You heard him.  He's been thinking about this for a while.  He hates me."

"He doesn't hate you, Angel" the redhead whispered into his soft, sable hair.   "He needs you.  You need to do something to show him that you don't hate him.  You have to talk to him."

"I can't" he sobbed.  He was beginning to calm down, but the tears continued flow down his pale cheeks.  "I.I can't."

"Angel" Willow said forcefully as she grabbed the vampire's face and wrenched his face up to look her in the eyes.  "If you are his Sire, then you have to be the one to fix this.  He needs you and by the way you are acting, it seems like you need him too."

"I don't know how to fix this" Angel desperately whispered.  He never felt so confused.

"If he doesn't think that you are his Sire anymore, maybe you have to do something to show him that you are his Sire" the redhead whispered staring into his chocolate eyes.

"Yeah" he whispered quietly, as an idea slowly began to form in his mind.  "I think there is something I can do to make him see that I am his Sire."  He took a deep breath to calm himself and slowly he wiped the tears from his eyes.  "Thank you Willow" he whispered as leaned forward placed a chaste kiss on her tender lips.

After the shock of the kiss, Willow stood up and let Angel stand. He rubbed the girl's shoulders for a moment before turning to walk upstairs, to go and reclaim the childe he had abandoned so many times.

***

Angel stood before the door to his childe's room, listening to the music blaring from inside.  He shook his head.  Spike had always turned to music to help express his emotions.  That was one thing that had always amazed him about his childe.  He was so emotional, so different from all other vampires.  Maybe that's why he loved him so much.

<Love him?> Angel wondered.  <Where had that thought come from?>

He tried the door and realized that this time, Spike had locked him out.  That didn't matter though; Angel had a master key that opened every room in the hotel.  He reached in his pocket and pulled out the key ring.  Slipping the key in the lock, Angel opened the door and silently slipped into the dark room.

He looked around and was surprised to find he couldn't find Spike. After reaching out through their weak Sire/Childe bond, he realized Spike was in the bathroom. As he leaned against the door for a moment to collect his emotions, he listened to the song Spike was playing.  Maybe that could give him an idea of what Spike was thinking.

//It's the corner that you turnIt's a lesson that you learn in time

It's a worry that you feelAnother scar that you conceal from sight

Have I been away to long for me to say?Have I been away to long for things to change?

>From a runaway trainCaught beneath the wheels of a runaway train.//

Angel's breath caught in his throat.  That how Spike felt, everything is happening so fast for him, he feels out of control. He inhaled and smelt the tears coming from the bathroom.  Spike was crying.

//Every moment of the dayI feel it crumbling away if I

I only have myself to blameFor all the cracks within the frame that I find

Have I been away to long for me to say?Have I been away long for things to change?

>From a runaway trainCaught beneath the wheels of a runaway train.I know how it feels to be a runaway train.//

The dark vampire sighed as the last strains of the song died away before clicking over to repeat.  He wondered if he would be able to do what he thought was necessary to have his childe back.  He leaned his head back to collect his thoughts and banged it on the door.  He took a deep breath to calm himself when he smelled it.blood. Spike's blood was heavy in the air.

"Spike!" he cried as he burst into the bathroom.  He was surprised to find his childe in the bathtub and a dagger in his hand.  Spike had removed his shirt and had made several long, shallow cuts on his arms and chest.  The blood trickled from the wounds, down the pale flesh and towards the tub's drain in small red rivers.

Angel threw himself down next to the tub and grabbed Spike by the shoulders and yelled at him, "Spike! What are you doing?"  He waited for a response but all he heard was Spike's constant chanting "Not my Sire.not my Sire.not my Sire."

No matter what he did, Angel couldn't get Spike to look at him or even acknowledge his presence.  He couldn't take to any longer. Quickly he reached down, yanked the dagger out of his hand, picked the blonde up his arms and pulled him out of the tub.  He had to get Spike out of here and into his room.

As he passed the CD player, Angel hit the off switch and threw open the door.  He swiftly lead them to the door to his suite and threw the door open.  He quickly moved through the sitting room and into his bedroom.  He laid Spike down on his bed and looked at the damage the man had caused.  He was pleased to see that Spike hadn't cut himself too badly.  The cuts were shallow but long and were still weeping blood.

Knowing what he needed to do to stop the bleeding, Angel leaned over the blonde's prone form and began to lick his self-inflicted wounds.  As he licked closed each cut, he could hear the moaning coming from the form beneath him.  Angel sighed as he realized that he hadn't lost too much blood.  He didn't have much to lose in the first place, but at least the amount he lost wouldn't be enough to make him weak.

Once all of Spike's cut were closed, Angel looked down at the motionless form.  He leaned over the man and prepared to wake him.

"William" he whispered in an almost forgotten Irish brogue.  "William, me boy.  It's time to wake."

Slowly, Spike's eyes fluttered open and looked into Angel's chocolate eyes.  He was confused.  He sounded like Angelus, but the hair was wrong.  He was going to say something, but the vampire above him stopped him with a gentle finger against his lips.

"Shhh, William" he whispered.  "Ye know what ye are now, boy?"

Spike only nodded.  This was exactly what Angelus had said to William when he brought him home after he rose from the ground.

"Do ye know who I am?" the older man whispered trailing his nose around Spike's head and face, as if memorizing his scent.

Again, Spike only nodded, waiting to see where this was going.

"You'll be calling me.Angel."  He had almost said Angelus, but he didn't want Spike calling him that.  This was a whole new start for them and he wanted Spike to acknowledge him, not Angelus.

Angel felt like he was suddenly back in time.  He remembered the night William had risen from his grave and Angelus had brought him home.  He had smelled of damp earth and old blood.  But now, Spike smelled of pain and misery.

"I'm yer Sire, me boy" he continued as he let his fingertip graze lightly over the man's exposed chest.  "My childe, Druscilla found you, but now, I'll be claiming ya and makin' ya mine."

Spike's eyes got wide at the words.  He couldn't believe Angel was doing this.  Was he really going to claim him again?  Was that even possible?  He was pulled out of his thoughts by Angel's words.

"Are you payin' attention, boy?" Angel questioned.

Spike nodded again, waiting to see what Angel was going to do next.

Slowly, Angel leaned down and began to lick the younger man's small nipples.  Spike moaned at the feeling.  Angel's tongue was rough and smooth at the same time, causing the flesh to pucker into tight buds.  Feeling the responsive flesh in his mouth, Angel bit gently with blunt teeth

"Yes" Spike hissed through clenched teeth and reached up to grab the dark hair in front of him.

Angel chuckled as he reached up and removed the pale fingers from his hair and forced Spike's arms back down to the bed.  "No touching yet, me boy" Angel whispered against the pale flesh as he continued his exploration of Spike's body.

He slowly licked and nipped down from the hard nipples down towards the soft dip of the man's navel.  Angel flicked his tongue swiftly down into the pit and nibbled lightly.  Spike had almost forgotten how much Angel liked navels.  It was almost like a fetish for him. It took all of Spike's self control to not grab a fistful of the soft, sable hair and force Angel there for a long while.

Angel knew that Spike wouldn't be able to take much more of this kind of torture, if his memory was correct.  So, before he continued, he quickly removed himself from the bed and stood beside it staring at the prone form laying before him.  It took Spike a few moments to register the loss of his tormentor, but suddenly he opened his eyes to look at the man staring at him.

"Ya like what ye see?" Angel asked with a smirk on his stunning face.

Spike nodded and waited for what he knew would be next.

"Undress me."  The command was simple and direct.  Spike knew there was no way he could deny him, so he knelt quickly on the bed and reached for the buttons on Angel's shirt.

Deftly, he opened all the buttons and slid the shirt from Angel's shoulders.  Next, he tugged the undershirt from his pants and pulled it over his head.  He made quick work of the belt and the front of Angel's pants.  He pulled the pants down, but realized that Angel still wore his shoes, so Spike quickly scurried off the bed and knelt at the dark vampire's feet.  He pushed at Angel's hips to let him know to sit down so he could finish undressing him.

Once Spike had removed the shoes and socks, he reached up and pulled the pants and silk boxers from the strong muscular legs of the man in front of him.

Completely naked, Angel stood and reached out his hand to the man kneeling before him.  Spike took the offered hand and slowly stood before the taller man.

"Strip" Angel commanded.

Without question, Spike's pants quickly fell away, joining Angel's clothes scattered on the floor.  Both men now naked, stared at each other for moment.  Spike wondered if Angel was really going to go through with this.  But all thoughts were quickly pushed aside when Angel quickly reached out and grabbed him by the head and kissed him with more passion than Spike thought possible.

Angel was lost in the kiss.  It had been much too long since he had this connection with his childe.  He never realized how much he missed it until that moment.  He devoured his mouth, teasing with his tongue, enjoying the taste he had almost forgotten.

Angel pulled away suddenly and looking into the cerulean blue eyes that were flecked with gold.  "Yer going to be mine, boy" he whispered huskily.  "On the bed."

Spike complied without question.  He crawled onto the bed on his hands and knees and waiting for Angel to join him.

"Just beautiful" Angel whispered as he admired the amazing body before him.  He reached over and slowly began to caress his childe's tight, pale buttocks.  "So lovely, me boy."  Angel leaned over and, as he gently parted the pale cheeks, placed a delicate kiss on Spike's tight, puckered hole.

Spike moaned loudly at the feeling of his Sire's lips him.  Angelus had never done that before, but it was driving him crazy.  Spike leaned back against the tender lips, trying to get more of the wonderful feeling.

Angel took the hint that the blonde was giving and slowly snaked out his tongue to trace the tight muscles under his lips.  Hearing Spike begin to purr, Angel dipped his tongue past the ring of muscle to penetrate his childe.

"Gods, Angel" Spike cried out.  He was so hard he thought he might burst, and Angel's tongue was taking him to places he had never been before.  Suddenly, the pleasurable tongue was gone and Spike whined at the loss.

Angel chuckled at the sound coming from his childe as he stood and moved toward his bedside table.  Opening the top drawer, he reached in and grabbed the bottle of massage oil he kept there.  Coming back to the man on the bed, Angel quickly covered his fingers with the oil and began to trace the vampire's delicate hole.

Spike cried out incoherently as he felt a slick finger enter him. The pain was quickly replaced by an incredible amount of pleasure. Angel  smiled as he felt Spike moving in time with the thrust of his finger and gently added a second.

"Has anyone been here since me, boy?" Angel asked.  He didn't know why he asked, but he felt he needed to know.

"No" Spike gasped in between thrusts.

"Good" Angel whispered as he added a third finger, trying to stretch the tight passage to accommodate him.  Slowly, he curled his fingers around to find that special spot inside.  Spike suddenly arched his back and cried out.  Angel knew he found it and made sure that with each thrust, he hit that perfect little nub.

Spike thought he might pass out from the pleasure, but he couldn't cum, not yet.  He wanted this to last.

Knowing that his childe was close, Angel pulled his fingers from that delicious hole and placed a gentle kiss on it.  He chuckled at the disappointed sound coming from the blonde at the loss of the fingers that were giving him so much pleasure.

Spike knew what was coming next, but he wasn't sure that he was ready.  He remembered what happened when Angelus had claimed him after he was turned, but this wasn't Angelus, this was Angel.  He wondered what he was going to do.

Angel crawled onto the bed to kneel between the blonde's spread legs.  He used he knees to spread him more, to give him better access.  He reached for the bottle of oil and generously covered his hard cock.  He positioned his head at the waiting vampire's hole and paused.  "Who am I?" he whispered, waiting for an answer.

"Angel" Spike answered.

"No" Angel practically growled as he pressed forward gently.  "Who am I?"

Spike knew what he wanted to hear, he just didn't know if he could say it.  He felt Angel pull away slightly and whimpered at the loss.

"Who am I?" Angel asked again, letting a harsh tone bleed into his voice.  "I'll not be asking ye again."

"Sire" Spike whispered as he felt Angel lean forward and push the head of his large cock past the tight ring of muscle.  "Bloody hell" he cried out feeling the intrusion.  It was wonderful.

Angel moaned at the feeling of his childe around him.  He was just as tight as the first time when Angelus claimed him.  "So tight, childe" he whispered.

"Please" Spike cried out.  "More please."

"Anything for me boy" Angel replied before pushing forward and encasing himself completely in the blonde below him.

Slowly, the two men began to move as one.  Spike noted the difference between Angel and Angelus.  Angelus had never bothered with lube or cared enough to take things slow with William, even though he knew he was a virgin.  Now, Angel was being gentle, almost too gentle.  Spike began to push back harder against the dark vampire pressing into him.  He wanted more.  He needed more.

The moans of the two men echoed through the room as their movements became more powerful and passionate.

***

Willow wondered what the two vampires were talking about.  Spike was so angry when he left and Angel had been so sad.  She wanted to help, but didn't know how.  Slowly, through the bond she shared with Spike, she began to hear sounds, and they frightened her.  She hoped Angel hadn't lost his temper and tried to hurt Spike, or the other way around.  She decided she had better go check on them.

Reaching the door to Angel's suite, she stopped and put her ear to the door to see if she could hear anything.  She thought she heard a gasp and maybe Spike's voice.  <Is he crying?> she wondered.  She decided she would just peek in to make sure everything was okay.

Slowly entering the room, she shut the door quietly before looking into the room.  They weren't in the sitting room, but Willow's attention was suddenly turned toward the bedroom just beyond.  She froze at the sight.

Directly in her sight on the bed, she saw the two vampires.  Spike was on the bed on hands and knees with Angel behind him.

She heard Angel speak.  "Who am I?  I'll not be asking ye again."

Spike answered, "Sire" and then Angel was inside the moaning man.

Willow clapped her hands over her mouth to keep herself from moaning out loud.  She had never seen anything so erotic in her whole life. They were beautiful.  They were both perfectly built, with straining muscles and pale skin that made them looked like marble.  She watched as Angel grabbed a hold of Spike's hips and began a slow rhythm of thrusts.  Spike's cock swung down below him, angry and purple from the lack of relief.  Willow watched it with fascination.

The two men had whispered other things that Willow could not make out.  She watched as they increased their pace and their moans and pants became louder and more wanton.  Suddenly she felt very hot and felt her panties become very wet as she rubbed her thighs together to give herself some more friction.

Afraid that she might get caught watching the erotic scene, the redhead slowly opened the door and slipped out of the suite without disrupting the rutting vampires.

***

Angel was so close, but he wanted this to be perfect for Spike.  He deserved it.  He leaned over the pale body and whispered in the blonde's ear.  "Who I am?"

"Sire" Spike practically shouted.  He wanted this so bad, he would say anything.

"Who's Sire?" Angel asked, lost in the sensation.

"My Sire!" Spike shouted.  "Please Sire! Take me! Claim me!"

"Yes childe!" Angel cried.  He reached around and gripped Spike's aching cock and pumped it harshly in time with his thrusts.  He felt Spike's muscles contracting around him at the beginning of his orgasm.  Angel reached up with his free hand and pulled Spike's head back and growled in his ear, "Mine. Do you understand, boy? Mine!"

Angel plunged his fangs into Spike's corded neck and pulled two mouthfuls of his childe's blood into his mouth as he filled his bowels with his cold seed, thus reclaiming him as his childe, his favored one.

Spike cried out as he spilt over Angel's hand and onto the sheet below him, lost in the immense pleasure he was feeling.

As the two men fell to the bed, exhausted from their coupling, Spike felt the tears falling down his cheeks.  Angel slowly pulled out of his childe and gathered him into his arms and cried with him.

"I'm sorry, Sire" Spike whispered in between gasping breaths.

"Shhh, William" Angel soothed, stroking the man's back and hair, reverting back to his normal voice.  "Never again.  I'll never abandon you again.  Here, drink."

Angel knew Spike had lost a lot of blood and he didn't want his childe to be sick.  Spike slowly reached up and delicately sank his fangs into Angel's neck and took several deep swallows.  Feeling satisfied, Spike pulled away and licked the wound closed.

Exhausted, Spike collapsed against Angel's chest and snuggled against the purring vampire.  Neither had felt so complete.  It had been too long.

As Spike fell into a deep slumber, Angel sighed and thought about what had just happened.  As he took a deep breath, he caught the scent of something.  It was arousal.  But it was not his or Spike's, it was.

"Willow" he whispered to himself.  <Well> Angel thought.  <This is certainly getting interesting.>

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