Addiction

Author: Shiroi Karasu

Rating: R

Pairing: S/W/(A)

Spoilers:  Up to Season 6

Summary: Uhm.  Willow’s sick.  Yeah.  Something like that.

Distribution:  Anyone who already has my stuff, and anyone that wants it.

Author’s Note:  I don’t know what’s going through my mind right now.  I just keep starting new stuff when I need to finish the old stuff. Argh.  Anyway, yeah.

Feedback: Loved.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 
 

~Part: 1~

Willow was sitting in the living room minding her own business.  She was alone as had been usual faire since she had gotten into the accident with Dawn.  No matter what she did, she couldn’t seem to make up for her mistake.  She had forgiven them for so many things, so many times, so why couldn’t her friends forgiver her for this?  It seemed none of them trusted her to be alone, but none of them wanted to be around her.

Surprisingly enough her companionship as of late had come from vampires.  Angel called twice a week (as he had been for lord knows how long anyway) and Spike was always around after dark.  She found that both vampires were highly understanding to what she was going through, they both knew how it felt to be shunned from the group.  Angel continually tried to get her to go to LA, but despite all things she just couldn’t leave.  What if they needed her?

The blonde vampire, however, never really tried to get her to do anything.  Okay, so he did flirt shamelessly at times, but she suspected it was just to keep her smiling.  He kept the loneliness away.  With Spike around she just couldn’t feel sorry for herself.

The small girl shuddered as a chill wracked through her body.  This withdraw was really beginning to get to her.  She had managed to keep the effects of her lack of magic usage from the others, but she knew Spike (who was the only person that saw her everyday) had noticed she was starting to look a little rough around the edges.  In the morning it was getting harder and harder to wake up.  It wasn’t that she didn’t want to face anyone, it was just that she was still so tired.  She had to force herself to eat everyday.  Just the thought of food mad her queasy.

She was still cold from the chill.  Normally she would warm back up immediately, but this time she just seemed to be getting colder…and the room seemed to be glowing.  Or maybe it was she?  What was happening? She couldn’t tell anymore.  The room was so blurry.

Her last thoughts as the light enveloped her was that she still owed Spike two dollars from that bet last Thursday.

 ~x~

Spike awoke with the vague feeling something was wrong.  He quickly checked himself and his surroundings, then became confused when he found everything was perfectly fine.  It was only two in the afternoon, so he tried to go back to sleep, but something was still nagging at him.

He sat up again and tried to figure out what it could be.  Maybe something happened to the poof or Dru.  Good riddance then.

He smiled at that thought.  Red had helped him get over Dru and Buffy right well.  She had somehow gotten it through his head that he deserved better.  The girl was too self-sacrificing for her own good.  No matter how much pain she was in, she always put others first.

Maybe something had happened to his Red.  He hated the thought of that, but know it was a possibility.  He knew something had been bothering lately, and he was alive if she had been eating enough.  He also knew that it was result of her quitting magic.  The Arts weren’t just something to be thrown away, he had seen some of what could happen to someone that did before.

Spike got up and began to pace.  Now he was dead sure that Willow was the cause of his discontent.  He grabbed his blanket.  If he kept to the shadows, he’d make it there fine.  He only hoped that whatever was wrong wasn’t too serious.

 ~x~

When Willow awoke the glow was gone, but she wasn’t on the ground anymore either.  In fact all of the furniture in the room was floating in the air as well.  Or it had been until she realized she had been doing it.  The moment she realized she was levitating the objects she clamped down on the magic.  Immediately she and the furniture fell to the ground, hard.  Random objects broke or shattered, and Willow whimpered in pain when she fell hard on the left shoulder.  She didn’t move.  She just lay on the ground and cried.

Spike heard the crash and slammed into the house just in time to hear Willow’s first broken sob.  He ignored the destruction in the room for the moment and gathered his only friend into his arms.  She clung to him like he was her entire world.  After a moment he lifted her up and carried her into her room.

He settled them both down on her bed, with her in his lap resting in the comforting circle of his arms.  He quietly whispered soothing phrases into her ear and rubbed her back.  He had lost of experience in comforting after a century with Dru.  Slowly she calmed down and drifted into a light sleep.

That sleep however wasn’t a calm one, and it took almost all Spike had to keep her contained.  Objects in the room shook violently as a temperature rose up from with in the girl.  He almost had to let her go she was so hot.  She moaned and writhed, the bed quaked, and things fell from the walls of the once orderly room, but Spike held fast to his small friend.

In all of his highly numerous years, he had never seen anything quite like this.  IT was almost humbling.  Almost of course.  He pulled Willow tight against him using his unnaturally cold body to try and help control the temperature.

And then, as suddenly as it had started, the attack was over and things were calm again.  Well they were until Spike heard the front door open and the slayer’s voice call out, “What the hell happened in here?”

Spike groaned, “No rest for the bloody weary.”

~Part: 2~

Willow woke up as Spike was trying to figure out what to do and instantly started sobbing again.  He resisted the urge to panic when he heard Buffy on the stairs.  He looked back and forth between Willow and the door he was sure would open in a matter of seconds.  He did the thing any brave strong man would do.  Hid in the closet.

Willow just curled up in a ball and cried.  She didn’t know why she was crying.  To tell the truth it was very likely that she didn’t even know she was crying.  Her mind was blissfully blank.

Buffy surveyed the room looking desperately for her friend.  Sure they hadn’t been real close lately but that didn’t mean she wanted anything to happen to Willow.  Things weren’t as bad as they were in the living room, but things were still a mess.  And there was Willow, curled up on her bed sobbing and repeating the words “I’m sorry,” over and over.

As heartbreaking as it was Buffy couldn’t get over the fact that her friend had obviously lost control and practically destroyed her home with magic.  Buffy could only be thankful there had been no one else in the house.  Willow was dangerous.

Buffy really hated thinking like that, and she hated even more what she had to do.  She couldn’t allow Willow to stay if she was a constant danger to Dawn.  Things were bad enough as it was with the social workers and bills and everything else.  And now she had to buy new furniture.

“Willow, I think you should move out.”

Now, Buffy had no idea what kind of reaction to expect from Willow, but what she didn’t expect was for Spike to come crashing out of the closet.

“Fine!  We don’t need you anyway Slutty!  Come on Red Pack up!”  He then opened up the closet, removed Willow’s luggage and began throwing things into the biggest suitcase.

Willow’s haze had ended when Buffy had told her she should move out, but Spike put her into another one with his actions.  What was he doing?  Where was she going to go?  Was that even her shirt?  Eventually she got over the shock and began to pack as well.

She knew she was dangerous, and Buffy couldn’t handle that.  It was utterly depressing, but she could follow Buffy’s thought pattern and knew that her leaving was for the best.  She wouldn’t fight it, just pack.  If she concentrated on packing she wouldn’t break down.  Pack things up.  Don’t think.  Just pack.  “I’ll just take what I need for tonight and tomorrow, and then get the rest after class,” she said softly.  Damn.  There was a waver in her voice.

“Wills…” Buffy began.

“No Buffy.  Just let me pack.  We can talk later.  I understand why you have to do this, and I don’t hate you for it.  Just no talking right now please.”

Spike cast a worried look at the redhead.  She was going to crack any moment.  Everything was too much strain.  He needed to get her out of there now.  “Yeah Slutty, get the ‘ell out of here an’ let us work,” he gruffed moving from clothing to knick knaks.

“Willow, I can’t let you leave with him!  You know what he’s link!” Buffy protested.  She wasn’t liking this.  What was Spike doing in Willow’s room anyway?

“Where are we taking this load then pet?”  Spike said completely ignoring the slayer.

Willow also ignored Buffy and looked thoughtful for a moment before saying, “My parent’s house I suppose.  I’ll have to get the water and electricity turned back on tomorrow.”

The two left just like that without another word to Buffy.  A strange sense of loss filled her, because even though Willow had said she didn’t hate her, Buffy knew that in reality she had just lost her best friend.

And it was a very sucky feeling.

~x~

Spike and Willow Made it to her house without incident.  The shadows had been long enough for Spike to stay in them the entire way.  Once they got inside Willow had her breakdown.

Spike sighed and once again took her to her room and settled them onto her bed.  His mind drifted back to the times Dru used to get like that, and he remembered a song he would sing her.  Maybe it would help Willow.  He gathered her close and sung in a soft, clear voice,

“Button your lip. Don't let the shield slip.
Take a fresh grip on your bullet proof mask.
And if they try to break down your disguise with their questions
You can hide, hide, hide,
Behind paranoid eyes.

You put on our brave face and slip over the road for a jar.
Fixing your grin as you casually lean on the bar,
Laughing too loud at the rest of the world
With the boys in the crowd
You hide, hide, hide,
Behind petrified eyes.

You believed in their stories of fame, fortune and glory.
Now you're lost in a haze of alcohol soft middle age
The pie in the sky turned out to be miles too high.
And you hide, hide, hide,
Behind brown and mild eyes. “

At that thought, so did he.  He pulled the sheets over them, then cuddled against the warm girl in his arms.  Needless to say, it didn’t take him long to fall asleep.

~Part: 3~

It was about four pm the next day when Spike decided he had better wake Willow up.  There had been no more attacks during the night, and she had seemed to be in a deep sleep, so he didn’t want to wake her.  Poor chit needed all the rest she could get.

Just as he was about to go upstairs to wake her, the phone rang.  Spike let it ring a few times, trying to decide if he wanted to answer it or not.  Was most likely the slayer or Chubs, and he sure as hell didn’t want to talk to them, and didn’t want them bothering Willow.  Then again, Willow would be mad at him if it was something important and he just let it go.

The vampire, having weighed all of his options picked up the phone on the fourth ring and in a falsetto answered, “Harry’s Whores.  How may I fuck you today?”

“Spike?  What are you doing at Willow’s?”

Oh just perfect.  Angel.

“Can’t slip one past you can I Peaches?  I think the question is though is how you knew to call here instead of Buffy’s.”  As they talked Spike made his way upstairs to wake Willow.  He figured she could talk to his poofy grandsire and not get all upset again.

“I called there first.  Dawn told me Willow had moved out and then hung up.  Now why are you there?”

“Hell.  The chit needed someone alright! Things haven’t been all happy around here lately and between the witch leaving, and her not using magic anymore, Red’s kind of in the middle of a breakdown.” Spike lightly shook Willow on the shoulder and frowned when she didn’t wake up.

“Willow’s stopped using magic?”

“Yeah, mate where have you been?”

“Out of the loop apparently.”

“That’s evident.”

“Is she okay? Do I need to--”

“—No you don’t need to ride here on your white horse.  I’m just trying to wake her up so she can talk to you and tell you she’s fine and after than she and I are going to watch a nice movie.”  Spike had been planning that all day.  He and Red would sit on the nice comfy couch and watch a comedy.  Queen of the Damned or something.  Just have a nice relaxing evening.

He shook Willow again, a little harder this time.  “Red, time to wake up.”

Nothing.  Her heartbeat was steady, her temperature normal, everything was fine, but she wouldn’t wake up. “Red!”

“Spike what’s going on?”  Angel’s worried tone came from over the line.  He had been uneasy the entire conversation, and not just because he was talking to Spike.  He could tell be the younger vampire’s voice there was more going on than anyone had told him.

“Red won’t wake up.”

At that moment the whole house seemed to shudder.  Then the walls began to shake.  As things began to fall from the walls, Spike threw himself over Willow, to protect her from the debris.  The furniture lifted off from the floor as the small girl began to struggle beneath him.  Had it been any other circumstance he might have enjoyed that feeling, but her temperature had just skyrocketed causing her to radiate an almost scorching heat.

“Willow!! Wake up!!!”

Angel could only hear pounding and Spike’s yelling.  “Spike!  Spike answer me now, boy.  What’s going on? What’s wrong with Willow?”

Spike didn’t answer, choosing to instead apply his energy to keep Willow under control.  Suddenly, Willow’s eyes opened, but they were the black of dark magic and unseeing.  She just stared up at the ceiling as things continued to fly around the room.  She didn’t have far to stare by this point either, Spike’s back was against the ceiling.

And then she blinked.  The black bleed away to reveal startled green, and her temperature immediately returned to normal.  Unfortunately, that also meant that everything floating in the air slammed back to the ground.  Spike pinned Willow tight to the bed that broke with a loud crash as it hit the floor.  She let out a startled gasp from the impact, but was fine otherwise when Spike checked her over.

The small girl looked wide-eyed at the destruction she had caused in under five minutes.  Nothing in her room was salvageable.  Pictures were ripped, the dresser and bed were broken, broken glass was scattered everywhere; even her balcony doors had shattered.

Her dazed gaze met Spike’s worried, for just a moment before her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out.

“SPIKE! ANSWER ME NOW BOY OR I’LL—“

“—You have that watcher there in LaLa Land don’t you?”

“I don’t see how that’s important right now, Spike.  Now you’ll be tellin’ me what happened—“

“—How much does he know about magic?  More specifically magic withdraw.”

“I’ll have to ask him bu—“

“Red and I will be there by sundown.  See you soon, Peaches.”

With that Spike hung up.  He didn’t particularly want to go see his grandsire, but he wanted to go ask the slayer for Rupe’s number even less.  He didn’t want to deal with Giles either.  So that was that.  Hopefully the poof and his watcher would be able to help Red.  Hopefully.

~x~

Angel stared at the phone in his hands a moment before hanging it up.  With a bewildered look he left his office and went to the lobby where everyone else was gathered, getting ready for a night’s work.  “We’re going to have visitors.”

~Part: 4~

    Spike had thought that if he drove fast enough he could avoid having to deal with a magic attack while driving.  You know, less time in the car, less possibility of attack in the car.  So he drove like the wind, put the petal to the metal, pushed it to the limit, drove so fast the back fender nearly fell off.  He was sure that he and his Desoto had set a new record for best time made between Sunnydale and LA.

He had been slightly wrong about the attack thing though.  Willow hadn’t made a sound the entire trip (hadn’t even moved since passing out) and Spike hadn’t really checked on her all that much because all of his attention was being spent on trying to keep in control of his vehicle.  But when he stole a glance at her about ten miles from Angel’s, he knew something was very wrong.

The silky red locks that he had derived her nickname from had turned an inky black.  And that wasn’t all that was out of place.  He could see the veins in her face, not because she was pale, but because they were black.  There was something distinctly wrong to him about them being black, maybe it was because he was a vampire and he of all people knew blood just wasn’t supposed to be black.  If her eyes were open, he suspected that they would be black as well.

Not that it was a completely bad look on her mind you, but it just wasn’t his Willow.

Spike shook his head to clear out the distant thoughts of “his Willow” and pushed the Desoto just a little harder.  ‘That watcher better know what to do,” he grumbled.

Just ten more miles.

~x~

“Angel I don’t know what to do!  How can I when you won’t tell me what in the bloody hell is wrong!”  Wesley complained.  Angel had stalked in and told them they were having company, and had only gone a little forward saying that something happened in Sunnydale and Willow needed his help.

But help with what the vampire wasn’t exactly forthcoming with.  When was Angel forthcoming with anything?

“Wesley, I’ve told you all I know.  It’s something about Willow and magical withdraw,” Angel sighed.

“Magical withdraw?  You didn’t tell me that, and there’s no such thing as magical withdraw.  If magic isn’t used it builds up in the body.”  This was most puzzling indeed.

“But Spike said—“

“Spike’s coming here?!” Cordelia interrupted, outraged.

Angel was really getting tired of people interrupting him. “Yes, and believe me I’m not looking forward to seeing him.  Just try and ignore him, and if he bothers you just tell me about it.  I would like to see as little bloodshed as possible.”  What he didn’t say was that he didn’t think Spike was going to be much trouble, because in that ten minutes he spent on the phone with his grandchilde he could tell that a genuine concern for Willow was there.  And if Spike was busy being concerned, hopefully he wouldn’t have time for much else.

“Wesley I need you to think about everything you know about magical with—build up.  I think Willow’s stopped using her magic for some reason, and now so much has built up that she’s loosing control.  Fred, go see what you can find on the same subject.”  Both his subordinates nodded and left to the library to see what they could find.

“And what am I supposed to do, oh great and merciful leader?”  Cordy questioned, a bit of anger still discernable in her voice.  She was obviously not happy, and what he was about to tell her to do would undoubtedly anger her further.

“I need you to go upstairs and prepare two rooms for Willow and Spike.”

Yep, she was angry.  She glared at him a moment before growling, “I’ll make a room for Willow, but blondie is on his own.”

Angel couldn’t help but chuckle a little as she stormed off to do his bidding.  He was actually surprised she did what he told her and didn’t complain more.  Maybe she was a little worried about Willow as well.

In fact, no one had questioned his orders.  Something about Willow just pulled groups together, he guessed.

And with that, he took up a place by the window to keep watch for their soon to arrive guests.

~Part: 5~

About five minutes after sunset Spike burst through the doors of Angel Investigations with Willow bundled up in his arms.  The magic was so heavy around the small girl that Angel could smell it.  “We have a room for her upstairs,” he said not even greeting his grand-childe.

The blonde vampire only nodded, his grip on Willow tightening slightly.  Wordlessly they made their way upstairs and to the room, where Wesley met them.  “Oh my,” he stuttered getting a good look at Willow, “This is a very advanced case indeed.  How long has it been since she’s done any magic?”

“A couple of weeks more or less,” Spike replied as he gently placed her on the bed.

Willow was still asleep, and though there had been no violent attacks, he appearance was still off, and that worried him enough.

“Amazing.  For this much power to collect in here so quickly is nearly unheard of.”

“Great.  Now how do we fix it,” he growled.  He didn’t care how it happened, he didn’t care that it was amazing.  He already knew Willow was amazing.  He just wanted her all happy and smiling and laughing at his jokes again.

“Yes, w-well I’m afraid there’s not much we can do with Ms. Rosenburg unconscious.  The only remedy for excess magic is to get rid of some.  When she awakens I can lead her through a cleansing spell that should, if nothing else restore her appearance,” the watcher explained, making sure to keep a healthy distance between him and the blonde vampire.  He knew quite well that Spike didn’t react kindly to things he didn’t want to hear.

Lucky for Wesley, Angel chose this moment to intervene, “Why don’t we go downstairs so Spike can tell us exactly what is going on.”  Spike looked like he wanted to disagree, but decided against it when he saw the look on Angel’s face.  Normally, even that look wouldn’t have mattered, but he didn’t like the way the poof was looking at Willow and wanted him as far away from Willow as possible.

The small group made their way back downstairs and settled down in the library for Spike’s story.  “You see, it goes like this, after the slayer died the group used Willow’s power all the time.  Then she brought the slayer back.  And they still relied on her power.  Then her little girlfriend decided she was using too much magic.  Red said she was fine and kept on going.  Managed to turn Rat-girl back into a human, she did.  That’s where things started getting all buggered up.  Rat-girl took her to Rack and got poor Red all addicted to the magical high.  One of her trips to Rack ended in a car wreck and nibblet getting hurt.  And that’s the end.”

Angel groaned.  Trust Spike to tell them everything, but absolutely nothing at the same time.  “So Willow stopped doing magic?”

“Always the observant one aren’t you, Angelus?”

Angel was about to retort, but a loud crash from upstairs made everyone jump.  Spike was up first, knowing that the sound of things breaking was a tale tell sign of a Willow attack, but he stopped short when he reached her room.

Sure things were breaking, but that was usual faire.  Willow herself was floating upright with her head upturned and eyes open.  She seemed to be muttering under her breath, something so soft that he had to strain his vampiric hearing to make it out.  “Timor mortis conturbat me quia in inferno nulla est redemptio…”

“This fear of death puzzles me, for in hell there is no redemption.”  The sudden and very pained voice of Angel surprised Spike.  He had been so intent on listening to his witch (yes his, care to disagree?) that he hadn’t even noticed his grandsire enter the room.  Some big bad he was turning out to be.  He’d be all poofy in no time if he kept down the route he was going.  And the funny thing was, he didn’t really care anymore.

“Why would she—“ Wesley’s question was cut off as a bright flash of light engulfed the room, starting at Willow and working its way out.

When the three’s eyesight returned they found Willow sitting on the ground.  Red-haired and green-eyed, looking up at them with the most innocent expression.

“Itta koko wa doko nan da?? Dare desu ka?”

The three men looked at her blankly.  Something was most definitely wrong.

~Part: 6~

The three men looked at her blankly.  Something was most definitely wrong.  What though, was the question.

She blinked back up at them.  They sure did look familiar. If she could just get the glow out of her vision maybe she could tell who they were.  She blinked again and twice more before she could finally see.  "Tenshi!(Angel)"  It was Angel and Wesley and Spike! She jumped up and hugged Angel.  It had been so long since she had seen him.

The men continued to blink, until Spike, always a man of action, coughed and said, "Willow, luv, you do realize you aren't speaking English, right?"

"Nani?  Watashi ga eigo ga hanaseru desu! (What?  I am English-speaking!)"

"Right.  And I'm the queen of England."

Willow curtsied and spoke with a voice that dripped sarcasm, "Heika-sama. (Your Majesty)"

"Wes, is it possible she doesn't realize she's not speaking English?" Angel questioned.  Though he really didn't like the fact that something was wrong, he couldn't help but admit how cute it was.  When she spoke, Willow's voice was somehow becoming higher and even more innocent sounding than it normally was.

"Well…I don't…wait!  A tongues spell! Perhaps she inadvertently cast a tongues spell that is causing her to speak in….well I believe it's Japanese."

"Great let's undo it."

"Uhmm yes.. I need to go gather ingredients." Wesley was becoming more and more nervous the longer he stayed in that room.  He could feel the power that filled it.  Power that radiated from Willow.  He didn't know if the vampires could feel it or not, but it was enough power to make him get goosebumps.

He didn't think it was just the power that scared him so, but the uncontrolled power.  Willow most definitely needed to be taught control.  And if she ever did get control, she would be a power to be reckoned with.  Of course he doubted she realized she was so powerful.  No one with power seemed to realize how powerful they were.  And that ended in disaster.

Once they got this tongues thing cleared up, he would definitely have to find a suitable teacher for her.  Until then, he could only pray that she didn't kill them all.

~x~

Spike and Angel had left Willow to rest.  Not that she had wanted to, but Angel had insisted and that was the end of it.  They had felt the power too.  Spike just didn't care, and Angel was drawn to it.  Perhaps they both were.

"Why haven't you left yet Spike?"

"I'm not leaving Red all alone here with the likes of you," the younger vampire gruffed.

"But there's more to it, isn't there."

Spike glared up at Angel having no idea about what his grand-sire was trying to get at.  He knew Angel would try and beat the truth out of him if he just didn't come out and say it. Spike didn't want to be beat, he wanted to be top form to take care of Willow.  Yeah.  He was being a pounce.  "She's addicting.  I started messing with her because she was the only one that still feared me. Even if it was just a little, she still did it.  And then I find that she's the only one that understands me.  She's powerful and has a mean streak the size of a barn, but never shows it.  She's brilliant.  Only one of the damn scoobies that is worth more than their weight in salt.  I'm addicted to her, Sire.  I can't leave her."

Angel was taken aback.  Of all the answers he thought he would get, what he got was not one of them.  It sounded as if Spike was.. in love with Willow?

He didn't know how he felt about that.  Part of him said it was good, that things that belonged to him belonged together as well.  But since when had Willow belonged to him?  That was most definitely something to ponder, because she was most definitely his. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.  Spike was his too, never Dru's. His.

The souled vampire shook his head as if to shake the thoughts from his head.  The thought of Willow and Spike together was very tempting.  Almost too tempting.  He just hoped he could control himself.

~Part: 7~

They performed the spell almost an hour later.  Willow had spent that hour re-ordering Angel's files.  She had taken the vampires' word that she wasn't speaking English. After all, she understood everything she had said.

Fixing the filing system proved to be a good distraction from all the things that were bothering her.  And there were a good many things bothering her.  The foremost being her magic problem.  It scared her to death that she was losing the little control she had over it.  This casting spells in her sleep was definitely not a good thing.  She had already destroyed three rooms.  What if she hurt someone?  She would rather kill herself than do that.

Her feelings about Spike and Angel were bothering her as well.  She had always had feelings for Angel, but had squashed them for Buffy. He was untouchable, someone you lusted for but knew you could never have.  Would never have you. Spike, well that was another matter completely.  He was being her knight in shining armor, whisking her off to the safety of L.A.. Before that he had been her friend.  They had spent long nights together talking and watching movies.  When he was around she couldn't help but smile.

She had tried so hard not to fall in love with him.  She had been through that whole unrequited love thing before with Xander and really didn't want to go through it with Spike.  But he made it so hard!  Being with him was addicting.  His jokes and smart comments, they way he tried to act like he didn't care even though it was evident he did, and all of those little things just made her fall in deeper.

~x~

Spike spent the hour watching Willow from across the room. Of course he didn't act like he was watching her, but he was just the same.  He liked watching her.  Like he had told Peaches, being around the small redhead was addicting.

She was filing, and muttering to herself in what he finally figured out to be Japanese.  Trust her to pick one of the few languages he didn't speak.  She was obviously frustrated about something, but he couldn't figure out what.  Could have been the files, but he didn't think so.

No something bigger than that was bothering his Red, and whatever it was, was making her pout.  God that pout was just one of the many things he had come to love about her.  When she got to pouting like that no man could ignore her.  It was instant arousal.

He could just sit and watch her for hours.  Which he was doing.  Eventually though he had to do something to cover that fact up.  So he decided to bother her.  He looked around the room before his eyes settled on the radio.  Perfect.  He turned it on just in time to catch a song that would be right for his purposes.

He slunk around her to peer at the paper she was reading and spoke along with the singer, "Hello, I'm the guy who sits next to you and reads the newspaper over your shoulder.  Wait, don't turn the page I'm not finished.  Life is so uncertain."  With that he spun the chair around so that she was facing him.  "Here I am.  Yes it's me, take my hand and you'll see.  Here I am, yes it's true.  All I want, girl is you."

He jumped up on the desk beginning the next verse, "Given that true intellectual and emotional compatibility are at the least difficult if not impossible to come by, we could always opt for the more temporal gratification of sheer, " pelvic thrust, "physical," pelvic thrust, "attraction." Big pelvic thrust. " That doesn't make you a shallow person does it?"

Willow by this point was giggling and a little red from the whole pelvic thrust thing. "Here I am. Yes it's me, take my hand and you'll see.  Here I am, yes it's true.  All I want, girl is you."

He jumped back down from the desk and plopped into her lap.  "What Ford is to Chevrolet, what Dodge is to Chrysler, what corn flakes are to Post Toasties, what the clear blue sky is to the deep blue sea, what Hank Williams is to Neal Armstrong, can you doubt we were made for each other?"

"Here I am.  Yes it's me, take my hand and you'll see.  Here I am, yes it's true.  All I want, girl is you."

And here it was the big finale.  He kneeled down beside her and took his hand in his looking steadily into her humored green eyes with his own electric blue.  "Look, I understand too little too late.  I realise there are things you say and do that you can never take back.   But what would you be if you didn't even try?  You have to try.  So after a lot of thought I'd like to reconsider.  So please if it's not too late," he was whispering silkily into her ear at this point, still maintaining eye contact, "make it a cheeseburger."

Not giving her time to react he swooped her up into his arms and lead her in a dance around the room, "Here I am.  Yes it's me, take my hand and you'll see.  Here I am, yes it's true.  All I want, girl is youuuuuuuuu."

At the end they both collapsed to the floor laughing.  Even Angel who had been watching from the doorway couldn't help but chuckle.  But that had been an hour ago, and this was now.

Endnote:  I didn't want to put the name of the song in the Author'sNotes and give it away that Spike sings.  Anyway the name of the songis Here I Am by Lyle Lovett.

~Part: 8~

Have you ever found yourself wondering about the things that normally you wouldn't dare even think about it?  Have you found that once they worm their way into your mind that no matter what you do you just can't get them out?  How they seem to sit and laugh at you as you sit in vain trying to think of something else.   Something happier. Have you ever found yourself wondering if you're really alone? If you really exist? If you're really sane?

Now that I've brought it up, is it making its way through your thoughts?

Forgive me if I have troubled you.  It was not my intent.  Or maybe it was?  I suppose we'll never really know what my intent was.  I believe it was to make you think.  What is it you think of when you're alone?  What do you dream of?  Are your dreams all nightmares?

Sometimes life can be a nightmare.

~x~x~x~

As it was said at the beginning of the last chapter, the spell was done and Willow was happily speaking English again.  Just to recap, in the time between Willow filed, Spike watched and then sang, but what was Angel up to?  He was doing what vampires did best during daylight hours.  He slept.

No sooner had his head hit the pillow he had been fast asleep.  Or he thought he was asleep.  It was hard to tell if he was asleep when the images started.

The first thing Angel was aware of was that he wasn't alone in his bed.  In fact, he was very far from alone.  He could feel at least two bodies wrapped around him.  Strangely enough that didn't bother him at all.  It comforted him even, made him feel more complete than he had in years.

The smaller of the two bodies shifted, snuggling against him contently.  Angel opened his eyes to see who it was, though in his heart he already knew. Willow.  She was so beautiful laying there next to him, her hair tussled from sleep and the happiest look on her face.  Her skin was so pale, so perfect that the two small scars left from a vampire's claim stood out like a beacon. She was his.

Before he knew it, he was kissing her.  He just couldn't help it, her lips had looked so inviting. His heart soared as she responded by kissing back and wrapping her hands through his hair.  Her taste was addicting.  He found himself kissing her harder wanting more.

They rolled until he was on top of her.  He broke the kiss and looked down at his lover.  When she was asleep, he had thought she couldn't get anymore beautiful, but now he stood corrected. Her lips were a tad swollen from their frenzied kisses, and her hair was splayed out around her like a fiery halo.  She was an angel fallen from heaven and into his bed.

That's when he became acutely aware of the other person in the bed.  A cold hand wrapped around his head and pulled him aside for a rough kiss.  Angel knew these lips very well.  This was Spike.  If Angel was dreaming, this had to be the best dream he had ever had.

Angel explored the bodies of his two lovers, slowly taking everything in.  He didn't want to forget any part of this.  The feelings, the sensations, the sounds, everything seemed to echo through his head and get stored away.

The pleasure through the three mounted before finally exploding.  Angel felt two sets of fangs slide into his shoulders as they climaxed.  His mind registered that there should only be one.  Horror filled him as he realized Willow's body was cool and that when he met her gaze he saw bright yellow eyes.

He pulled back as if burned, and for the first time really looked around the room they were in.  The horror at seeing Willow's demon stated was dwarfed by what he was feeling now.

All around the room hung the bodies of his friends and coworkers, still alive, but barely.  Huge chunks of their skin were missing, and he could tell that many of their bones were broken.  How he didn't smell the blood and decaying flesh before them puzzled him.

And there, hanging from the ceiling fan, half of her face gone was Buffy.

His attention was drawn back to Willow and Spike as they giggled at him. "So Angelus, what are we doing today?" Spike asked.

"Yes, sire, what are we doing?"

~x~

Angel woke up with a gasp.  That nightmare had been so vivid he was almost sure it was real.  Even now that he was awake he just couldn't seem to shake the images from his head.  How horrifying Buffy looked.  How beautiful Willow looked.

Shaking his head, the vampire went downstairs to see if they were ready to do the spell.  He couldn't help but chuckled at the sight that was presented to him. Spike was dancing around with Willow singing some odd song.  He had never known his grand-childe to act so silly.

Willow really had changed Spike for the good.  Just like how in her own way she had changed him.

Right there he vowed to protect the small girl from anything that would hurt her, even if it was him.  No, as long as he could fight it, his nightmare would never be realized.

~Part: 9~

Something was troubling Xander but he couldn't quite figure out what it was.  As far as he could figure, everything was perfect in his life.  So why did something feel so wrong?  Anya was fine, Buffy was fine, Giles was fine, Willow was….

That's when it hit him.  He hadn't seen Willow in over a week.  He'd never gone that long without seeing Willow before.  The question though, was where was his little buddy.  It wasn't like her to be missing in action.  "Hey Dawn," he asked the girl who was currently sitting at the table doing her dreaded homework., "Where has Wills been."

Dawn seemed to pale and get this angered look about her.  True she and Willow hadn't been close after the accident, but it still hurt that she was gone, "Buffy kicked her out last week.  She was supposed to come by and get her stuff, but never came."

"AND NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME?"  Xander yelled, jumping up.  He couldn't believe something like that had happened and no one had informed him.  Willow hadn't even come to him.  In fact it seemed she had just disappeared. He slumped back into his chair, uttering a weak, "why?"

"I wasn't home when it happened but I guess something happened with her magic and Buffy decided she was too dangerous to be around me." Dawn hated it when Buffy did things like that.  One would have thought the slayer would have tried to help her best friend, but no, the blonde kicked her out and left her on her own.

"And she hasn't been seen since then."  Xander stated in a flat tone before getting up.  Why didn't he notice his best friend's absence sooner?  What if she was all alone somewhere hurt and unable to defend herself.  What if she was dead?  No.  He had to keep up hope that she was perfectly fine.

"Where are you going?" the teenager asked him.

"The most logical place for her to be.  Her house.  You stay here and….carry on with your homework."  Dawn looked put off at that, but that wasn't his concern at the moment.

~x~

Xander looked up at the house in front of him.  He had so many fond memories of this place.  It was a place where he could hide away from everything else and just bask in the goodness that was Willow.  She had a way of making everything alright.

Now it was empty, and not at all inviting.  It seemed to loom down at him with an angry stare telling him of just how bad a best friend he was.  Despite that he still walked up to the front door and used his key to let himself inside.

The living room was a mess!  It looked like someone had ransacked the place.  All the pictures that had been on the walls were now on the floor, their frames shattered.  The furniture was upturned and broken.  The curtains were ripped.  It was like a war-zone.

"Wills!" he called fear setting in.  He almost hoped that she wasn't here.    "WILLS!"  No answer at all.  He looked through the rest of the house, finding only that Willow's room was in the same condition as the living room, and that the house was completely empty and had been for some time.

He was too late.  He had no way of finding the small redhead. He fell to his knees and whispered, "I'm sorry."

~x~

In LA things were going a little better for the group.  Note the word little.  The tension was so thick in the air you could bite into it, and practically did every time you opened your mouth.

Angel would glare at Spike.  Spike would make a snide comment and glare at Angel.  Willow would try and make them get along, and succeed for about five minutes until Spike made another snide comment and make Angel glare again.

They were also no closer to solving Willow's magic problem.  Wesley was still looking for a suitable teacher for her, and until she was properly taught magic was pretty much forbidden.  It was too dangerous for her to do spells, but equally as dangerous for her not to do them.

So everyday she did little spell's under the watcher's guidance.  It wasn't much, but it was enough to keep her from killing them all. She also trained with Angel everyday.  Wesley said that having control over her body, would help her control the magics.  Willow personally didn't see the connection, but Spike had launched into this thing about Jedi training which clarified it on a really strange level.

The whole training with Angel thing upset Spike too.  Why couldn't she train with him?  Of course his brain told him that he was impatient and preferred just to brawl than use these precise controlled motions that the poof liked so much, and that his style of fighting would be of no use.  Still he didn't like the fact that his grandsire was able to get so close to his girl.

And Willow was his.  She just didn't know it yet.

~Part: 10~

Every part of her body was tingling.  It wasn’t an uncomfortable feeling, but it was there just the same.  She couldn’t figure out why her body was tingling either.  She hadn’t done anything to make it tingle.  Maybe she had slept wrong.  But that normally was an uncomfortable feeling.

Ah.  The stars were singing.  They had started early tonight waking her up from her day’s sleep.  Naughty stars.  Princess needed her rest, taking care of herself took so much energy.  Daddy and Spikey weren’t around to take care of her anymore.

The stars sang of them.  Her king and her knight.  They needed her to come to them.  They had fallen for a little tree, and the poor thing was so weak, but with Princess’ help she would be strong again.  Magic surrounded the tree, as did darkness.

Oh such sweet darkness.  Sweet like those little rock candies.  It complimented her not-Daddy and Spikey perfectly.  The four of them would be oh so happy together after she helped the little tree.  They would be family.

Drusilla giggled and spun around in a circle making her long skirts swirl around her.  Tonight she would leave for LA.  After all, the stars said it must be so.

~x~

Willow rolled over in bed.  She really didn’t feel like getting up.  More and more lately she had been feeling weaker and weaker.  Everybody did their best to keep her comfortable and happy, but it wasn’t really working.

The dreams she had at night weren’t helping much either.  She was being chased by something she couldn’t see.  All she knew is that it scared her.  Terrified her even.  So she kept running through the darkness trying to get away, but never succeeding.  In the end it would always grab her, and then she would wake up more tired than she had been when she went to sleep.

Right now she just wanted to go back to sleep and not wake up for a long time.  But she didn’t want Spike or Angel to worry about her so she got up anyway.  She could already hear the two vampires bickering downstairs.  Something about the phone.

When she got downstairs Angel had apparently taken the phone from Spike.  The elder vampire took the phone down from his ear and covered it with his hand as she walked in.  “It’s Giles,” he explained, “and he asked if I had seen you.”

Willow blinked.  Someone from Sunnydale must have called him.  Most likely Xander.  “I’ll talk to him.”

~x~

“What do you mean she’s been missing for over three weeks?  Why wasn’t I informed of this sooner!?”

Giles wasn’t a man that lost his temper very easily, but when he did lose it, you didn’t want to be the cause.  Bad things tended to happen to those who made him truly angry, and right now the poor boy on the other end of the phone line had made him furious.

“Well with the magics.. and Buff….” The boy stuttered.

“Magic?  Xander, what exactly has been going on since I left?”

Giles had thought he couldn’t get any angrier than when he had heard of Willow’s disappearance, but he was wrong.  The tale Xander hesitantly spun of addiction, car accidents, withdraw, and so forth pushed Giles right over the edge. “YOU BLEEDING IDIOTS!  YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME AT THE FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE!”

“I know!  God do I know now, but Buffy said we could handle it.  She doesn’t even know I’m calling you now.”

Giles took a few deep breaths to try and calm down.  When he spoke again his voice was much more even, “Of all the stupid things.  And you say you have no idea where Willow is?”

“I’ve tried everywhere I could think.”

“Did you call Angel?”

“WHAT!?  Why would I want to call Deadboy!?” Xander sputtered at the very thought of it.  There was no way his Wills would go to the souled vampire.  Was there?

“I believe they have kept in touch over the years,” Giles explained.  “And even if she isn’t there, he, or someone he works with, may know where she may have gone.  I’ll call him myself, before I make arrangements to return to Sunnydale.”

“Wait.  You’re coming back?  Why?”

“I believe it’s time Buffy and I had a talk.  I will call you with my arrival time after I’ve talked to Angel.”  With that Giles hung up on Xander.  He couldn’t believe they had let things go so far before calling him.  It also made him wonder what things the boy didn’t tell him.  He was quite sure some details had been left out.

He picked the phone back up and dialed Angel’s number.  After about three rings someone picked up, “Peaches Brooding Palace. Where he broods all day every day.  How may I depress you?” a rough cockney accent drawled.

“Spike? Why are you in LA?  And where is Angel?”  Giles was surprised that the blonde vampire would be staying with Angel.  We’re things THAT bad in Sunnydale.

Over the line he could hear muffled voices and the sounds signaling the transference of the phone, “Giles, is that you?”

“Angel.  Good.  I was wondering if you have seen Willow.”

There was silence for a moment until, “Hold on a minute.”

The phone was shifted again.  “Hi Giles.”

“Willow!  I was right you did go to LA.  Xander had just informed me of your disappearance.  I was very worried.”

“Spike brought me here after Buffy kicked me out.  We thought Wesley could help me.”

“And is he?”

“He’s doing what he can I guess.  He’s trying to find me a teacher.  But Giles, please don’t tell anyone where I am.  I’ll tell them when I’m ready.”

The poor girl sounded so tired and worn out.  “Alright.  I’ll be going to Sunnydale.  I’d like to see you. And I have a few more contacts in the magical world than Wesley.  I’ll see what I can do about a teacher.”

“Thanks Giles.”

They talked for a little longer, Giles mostly confirming to himself that Willow was in fact alright before hanging up.  It wasn’t until he was on a plane in flight to Sunnydale that he realized that they had never set up a date to meet.

~x~

He could feel the power calling to him.  Hell, he had felt it when he was on the other side of the country.  A faint pull promising so much more.  Promising him the power he needed to free his master.

He was getting close to it now.  He looked up at the highway sign he was getting ready to pass.

Welcome to California.

next