Disclaimer: BtVS is Joss' not mine
Rating: PG
Summary: Willow's been keeping a few secrets
Paring: W/A W/Aus W/Spike W/A/S
~Part: 1~
<Why do I always come here? Nothing good * ever* happens when I'm here> Willow mentally groaned, as she entered the Bronze. She knew why she came though; Matt's favorite band was playing tonight. Matt. Nice, sweet, perfectly normal Matt. Willow really did like him, in fact she adored him, just in * that * way. Maybe if things had happen differently she could love him, but was past was past and there was no going back. Not that she hadn't considered it, going back in time and correcting her mistakes, the spell was fairly simple for a witch of her caliber. Alas, it was much too dangerous, she didn't know how her actions would effect the future and the last thing she wanted was to make things * worse *. Besides were things * really * that bad? Buffy, Riley, Giles, Xander and Anya were all very happy in their ignorance. It was the gift Willow had given them, it was the least she could do considering this was all * her * fault.
"Do you want a drink or anything?" Matt asked, snapping Willow from her thoughts.
"Um, yeah, could you get me an Ice Tea?" Willow asked. Even though it was easily available to her, Willow would never, ever ask for alcohol. She had learned her lesson on that score, by the goddess she had, that's how she got into trouble in the first place.
"I'll be back in a sec." Matt said and kissed her forehead. Willow watched him leave, <He's such a great guy, I shouldn't be doing this to him> Willow decided. She had to break up with him, before he got any serious ideas about them being together. <I doubt he'll be single for long.> Willow thought. Matt was a * great * catch. He really wasn't handsome, more of the cute type (one of reasons Willow liked him), with dirty blonde hair, tan skin (another reason Willow liked him), honest blue eyes and boyish smile almost impossible to resist. Not only that, he was intelligent. They met in her molecular biology class, he was one of the top five students in their class. <Cute, smart and sweet, what else could I want?> Willow thought. Well, she * knew * what she wanted, she just couldn't have it, not if it cost everyone else everything. <Is me or did the Bronze get smaller?> Willow wondered. The place was packed, Matt was still waiting in line. <I need to get some air.> Willow thought. She felt a pang of guilt. What if Matt saw her leave? <Well, maybe I'll get lucky and * he'll * want to break up with *me * > Willow reasoned, with a smile.
Everyone always thought she was so * good *, and they were right… for the most part. It was just that * one * night she wanted to be a bad girl, it was that one night that set a trigger of events, that got people killed and almost causing hell on earth ..literally.
< I need to go home. I'll tell Matt I have a headache, he'll understand.> Willow didn't like the air outside the Bronze, it was too polluted with something. She was feeling weak.
" Hello, my Willow." Angelus greeted. If possible he seemed to be more handsome than before, or maybe his beauty was such that it couldn't be contained in a memory. Willow froze like a wild animal in lights, all the spells she had so painstakingly memorized were leaking out of her brain.
"Aren't you happy to see me, Willow?" Angelus smiled, placing a kiss on her forehead, the exact spot Matt did just a few minutes ago. The difference being Matt's lips didn't set her on fire, he didn't make her want more. <Snap out of it Rosenberg!> Willow told her self.
" I should have known you wouldn't have kept your end of the bargain." Willow stepped back. <That's it! Don't let him get to close again.> Willow cheered herself on.
"Did you * really * think I wouldn't come back? Isn't that what you were secretly hoping for? That I would come back and claim what's mine, that we could be together." Angelus took a step forward, forcing Willow to step back. She tripped on an empty carton of cigarettes; she would have hit the wall but Angelus, using his inhuman speed caught her, wrapping his arm around her waist as he caught her. He was now leaning against her, forcing her back to the wall. Willow held her breath, if she did breathe her body would be forced to make contact with his. With his free hand Angelus traced her lips, remembering all the naughty things she could do with those sweet innocent lips.
"Stay away from me, or I'll tell Buffy." Only when she said it out loud did Willow realize how stupid that sounded. She was like a preschooler threatening to tell on a * much * bigger bully, except now teacher was nowhere in sight.
"Oh yes, why don't * tell * Buffy. In fact I think she'll be * very * interested to know, that I'm here and why. Maybe * I* should tell her. You two are roomies, aren't you? Yes, that's what I'll think I'll do. * I'll * tell her the whole story about how I * really * lost my soul and how I came back from and why I'm back now. I think she'll be * quite * surprised, don't you?" Angelus smiled as Willow's eyes widened.
"It doesn't matter, you'll still lose. Buffy will hate you more than she already does, she'll kill you." Willow said in a cocky voice. Buffy never lost, never. "Haven't you been wondering what I've been up to for the last few years?" Angelus asked. Willow could have yelped in triumph in the way he avoided her comment.
"Oh, I don't know, my guess is maiming and torturing." Willow answered sarcastically. "How did you know?" Angelus mocked surprise; she was going to make this difficult, good.
"I've been in LA, it's my city now. It can be your city too…" Willow lost focus on whatever he said next as his hand crept up her thigh. She missed those cold hands touching her, possessing her …. <No!> Willow's mind screamed. She twisted out of his grip and landed on the cement. She tried to get up before he could help her, before he could touch her again.
"Angelus, get out. Get out of Sunnydale, or I swear I will unleash vengeance unlike you've never seen." Willow threatened.
" I see my kitten obtained claws while I was away." Angelus said. At least he sounded impressed. Instead of replying Willow simply turned and walked away. She knew Angelus would hate that, hate being ignored. She was right. Angelus was angry and to retaliate he said the cruelest and vicious thing he could think of.
"I love you."
~Part: 2~
< I need to get out of here. > Willow thought on her way home. She tried to justify the desire to escape by deciding that, Angelus would most likely follow her, thus leaving the others safe. All she would need were a few magic supplies, and some clothes. Then she'd be gone. She could leave a note for the others that her parents needed her in Europe or something, or maybe she could call after she left. She would figure out something. She had to.
Possible destinations raced through her head, but she still had enough presence of mind to notice that her door was unlocked.
<Damn... he's here>
For a moment, Willow considered turning around and running for her life, but that didn't last long. It really wouldn't accomplish anything in the end.
"Willow."
"Hello Spike."
Willow knew she didn't sound as calm as she hoped to. She could tell he was angry with her, just by the way he said her name. Hell, why wouldn't he be? The bargain she'd made with Angelus had sealed Spike's fate as well. She didn't mean to hurt him; she never wanted to hurt him.
"Why are you here Spike?", Willow asked, her eyes downcast. She wouldn't, couldn't, look at him.
"I think that would be fairly obvious luv."
Spike lit up a cigarette.
The redhead shook her head, and looked up. <Damn I hate it when he acts so cold>, she thought. She grit her teeth. She also hated when he smoked.
"Fine", she mumbled, "I'll ask again." Willow paused for a moment. "Why did you come back Spike?!"
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, a figure raced out of the darkness of the living room, almost knocking the slight hacker down with her exuberant entrance.
"Mummy!"
"Dru...", smiling Willow returned the vampiress' hug.
"Mummy, I missed you *so* much. Why did you send us away? Daddy was so upset and Spikey too but he didn't want to say it", Dru complained, not yet releasing Willow from her embrace.
"Angelus didn't hurt you, did he?", Willow asked, pulling away to inspect Drusilla for bruises or marks.
Dru sniffed. "When daddy hurts *everybody* hurts too", was all the dark haired vampiress said.
"Oh, Dru I'm so sorry," Willow sighed sadly, pulling her back into a hug.
"You have no bloody idea what you caused", Spike said bitterly.
"I had to protect my friends."
"But we're your family!", he shot back.
"Dru honey why don't you make us some tea?", Willow suggested softly.
"Yes, we haven't had tea in the longest time." Dru agreed, running off into the kitchen, leaving her alone with Spike.
"As I was saying we're still family. Mortal bonds may break easily but not ours. We're in your blood luv, just as you're in ours." So saying the bleached blond vampire moved closer to Willow.
"I have to protect them", she said, trying to explain; she didn't know why, Spike really didn't care. There was only one thing he cared about.
"Why luv? Do they know who you really are?"
Willow didn't respond.
"I see... They still thing your innocent little Willow who likes to tinker around with magic." Spike laughed. "If they only knew."
"Is that all you came here to say?" The redhead tried to sound bored.
"Well I was hoping for a shag-- you do remember us shagging, don't you?", Spike asked, with a devilish smirk. Willow's mind immediately flashed back, she remembered the hunger, the passion, the absolute pleasure. <Goddess did she remember.>
"The sun's coming up soon, you should leave." Willow said aloud, an air of finality coloring her tone, as she looked at him.
The male vampire's smirk didn't waver. "Dru, luv! Sun's coming, we have to go."
"But the water's not bubbling. How are we to have tea without bubbles?" Dru complaint could be heard from the other room.
"We'll have it later", Willow said soothingly, trying to rush the undead couple out of the house. This little meeting with Spike only served to convince her that she did indeed need to get out of Sunnydale.
~Part: 3~
"Can't you drive any faster?", Willow asked impatiently. Her flight was in five hours but she wanted to get to the airport before dark. She had decided to go to L.A. with a fake name. That would throw Angelus for a loop. Going to "his city", as he enjoyed calling it.
"I don't see why you couldn't have waited till Xander got home. He'll be angry when he finds out I took his car", Anya said, seemingly taking no notice of the other girl's earlier question.
"You'll be back before he notices", Willow reassured her, still surprised that Anya agreed to take her to the airport without telling anyone.
"You're coming back right?", Anya asked. Although, she and Willow weren't exactly best friends, the ex-demon did realize what an essential part of the group the witch was. Willow couldn't leave for long, otherwise the Scoobies would go into total chaos.
"I don't know", Willow replied honestly. She didn't want to tell any lies today.
"Don't you want to give me a number or something so we can reach for an emergency?"
"You can't know where I'm going."
"You're going to L.A.", the brunette said, matter-of-factly. "I looked through your purse and saw your ticket."
"Anya!", Willow cried in angry disbelief. Now she had to change her whole plan.
"What? I was worried", the former vengeance demon said, feeling perfectly justified.
"Dammit!", Willow swore. Where could she go now so last minute?
"I won't tell anybody", Anya said, her brow furrowing.
"You don't understand... you *know*; that's enough."
"What are you talking about Willow? What's going on?", the ex-demon said glancing at the redheaded wiccan. "If you don't tell me I'm going to turn the car around and go straight to Giles", she threatened.
"No!! Please don't", Willow begged.
"Then tell me what's going on", Anya demanded.
"I can't, you don't understand... it's all my fault." Willow said, tears beginning to form in her eyes.
"Willow your talking to a former vengeance demon. I'm over one thousand years old, and I've seen or caused it all. Whatever you say, I promise not to judge you", Anya said.
There was a long silence before Willow began to speak.
"It all started one night at the Bronze….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" I can do this, I can do this, I can do this…", Willow repeated to herself. She was right outside the entrance to the Bronze. That was normal. That wasn't a big deal. What was however, was what she was wearing.
A black mini skirt, matching knee high leather boots, and a tube top, so deep red in color, it almost looked black. Her only piece of jewelry was a choker made out of red crystals. The necklace highlighted her long, pale neck, which was showcased even further by the fact that her hair was piled atop her head. The only makeup she wore, was black eyeliner to emphasize her verdant eyes, and ruby colored nail polish.
< Why did I let Buffy convince me to get this outfit?>, Willow asked herself despite already knowing the answer.
Oz. For weeks, she'd had a crush on the guitarist. Other than Xander, he had been the only boy she had ever had any feelings for. But unlike Xander, he actually seemed to reciprocate her feelings. They would talk sometimes in class, or at lunch. They seemed to have a lot in common. The problem was whenever they were alone for more that five seconds a groupie or wannabe girlfriend would come up and lavish him with compliments concerning his playing or the band. The too- common situation would leave Willow feeling out of place. Both in front of Oz, and the scantily clad fan.
When she'd complained to Buffy, the Slayer's solution was to compete. Buffy thought her best friend needed to show Oz that she wasn't just a brain, but had a killer body to go with the Willowy package.
It made sense in theory... which was the reason why she'd let Buffy drag her to the mall and pick out the stupid outfit. It was why she was here now, feeling completely idiotic.
<It's now or never Rosenberg!>
Willow forced herself to open the door. From the second she walked in, she knew she was being stared at.
< I must look ridiculous>, Willow thought. Buffy and Cordelia could wear this, not her. She looked around. All the tables were taken so she sat at the bar. The bartender immediately got out a glass, poured something into it, and handed it to her.
"Thanks, but I didn't order anything", the hacker cum witch said shyly.
"For a pretty girl like you, it's on the house."
The bartender smiled. Willow smiled back.
< He must think I'm older!>, she thought.
The bartender was still looking at her. "I've been experimenting a little, take a sip tell me if it's good", he encouraged.
Not wanting to offend him, Willow took a little sip. It tasted fruity, with an unfamiliar aftertaste she couldn't quiet describe.
"It's good." She was about to ask him what was in it, when a more important question popped into her mind. Where was Oz?
"Hey do you know when the band is supposed to get here?", she asked.
"They cancelled last minute, apparently they got a deal in LA and are there now recording", the bartender answered, as he wiped down the counter.
<What! I did all this for nothing?>
Willow was more than disappointed. She had missed her chance with Oz. If his record deal took of, it was very possible he would never come back to Sunnydale again. This night was a total disaster... well not completely, she got a free drunk. She couldn't wait to tell Buffy that some guy thought she was pretty.
<This drink really *is* good. > Willow thought, taking anther sip.
"Hi, I'm is Chad."
Willow blinked and looked up to see a tall guy with reddish brown hair, gray eyes and really cute dimples.
"Um, hi, my name is Willow", she replied.
"I haven't seen you around here, are you new?" Chad had taken the liberty of taking the seat next to her.
"I'm a transfer student", she lied. Willow didn't feel like telling him the truth. That she came here all the time, and it was only because she was wearing these clothes that he noticed her. After all it wasn't a bad thing, being noticed was fun.
"Can I buy you a drink?" Chad asked her.
She was just about to shake her head, when she looked down. To her surprise, her cup was empty.
<I could have sworn I just had two sips!>
"Um, sure, I'll have another one of these", Willow told the bartender. She didn't know what else to order. This was the first time she'd had alcohol without her parent's supervision. She shrugged, it was only two drinks, what was the worst that could happen?
~Two hours later~
He couldn't believe what he was seeing. The little redhead was on a table, dancing... or rather seducing, on a table. Guys were fighting for their turn with their beautiful girl on the small table, and Willow seemed to be more than happy to accommodate them all.
"Why Red, I didn't know you had it in you", Spike thought out loud, pushing aside the group of randy college boys.
"Ello Pet, fancy meeting you here", the blond said with a smile that could only mean danger.
Instead of her usual frightened response, Willow just kept on dancing. It was a truly stunning sight. The music was blaring from the speakers and she seemed to be apart of the fast paced beat. Her movements were sensual and instinctual, apparently taking no effort whatsoever. It was as if all the girl's inhibitions had been removed leaving only the 'real' Willow. A young woman who's true, wild potential was on the verge of being released.
<If she's that good on a table just imagine..> Spike's thoughts trailed off, his mind on all of the naughty things they could be doing by sunrise.
"Hey Spike! You wanna dance?", Willow asked. She wasn't afraid to admit her attraction to the blonde vampire any more. Yes, this definitely was a new facet to Willow, and an enjoyable one at that.
"That table seems a bit to small for the both of us luv", he observed dryly. "Why don't you come with me and we can have our own private dance?" Innuendo laced his tone, there was no mistaking what kind of "dancing" Spike wanted to do. He held out his hand.
The witch smiled. "Sure, sounds like fun." She reached out to take his hand.
"Get the HELL away from her!"
"Angel, you came to join the party!", Willow exclaimed.
"Back off Poof!", Spike snarled.
"Willow, get down here", Angel ordered the young woman. He didn't know what was going on, but anything involving his grandchilde couldn't be good.
"This isn't you call Peaches. Red here wants to come with me, isn't that right Pet?"
Willow nodded enthusiastically. Spike gloated.
"Willow, come with me", Angel repeated, holding out his hand. The elder vampire's eyes never left Spike's. In turn, the bleached blond gave his grandsire an equally steely glare.
"What? She Slayer not keeping you happy? I can't blame you for looking elsewhere for some shagging, but Red's coming with me", Spike retorted, sure that Angel wouldn't risk a fight where innocents could be hurt.
Angel took a step towards him, and Spike blinked in disbelief at the look in his eye. For a second, Spike could have sworn he was looking at Angelus again. It was as if Angel's caged demon was coming to the surface.
At any other time, Spike would have welcomed the chance to fight his former grandsire, but now he still hadn't fully recovered from the church collapsing on him. He had only begun to walk again a few weeks ago.
At that moment, Willow's first suitor reappeared. "Hey Willow, I got you another drink", Chad said. The poor boy had the misfortune of coming up next to Angel.
The dark vampire turned towards the college boy who had been getting Willow drunk, *his* Willow drunk. Angel's hatred was evident. Without conscious thought, the souled vampire vamped out, and knocked Chad to the floor. One blow and the young man was unconscious.
Angel looked up and Spike was gone.
"Angel!", Willow admonished, stepping down from the table. "Look what you did!"
Ignoring the unconscious college boy, Angel took the redhead's hand, leading her to the Bronze's exit. "Willow, we're leaving. Now!", he snarled between grit teeth.
"What are you doing? I was having fun!", Willow complained.
"You are drunk and now you are going home."
"I don't have a home", Willow declared, trying to drag her feet.
"Of course you do, 504 Marlbrook Lane", Angel replied off-handedly.
The hacker stilled suddenly. "How do you know where I live?", Willow asked.
Angel stopped. How was he going to tell her how he knew? Confess that he watched her almost every night, tell her he was her secret guardian? Angel was stuck and he knew it, luckily Willow kept rambling.
"Well it's not a home. Not if nobody's ever there", Willow babbled.
"What are you talking about?", Angel asked, looking down at the lithe young woman.
"Nobody's ever there. My parents are always going somewhere that's more important than me", she continued.
"You're alone, again?"
Angel cursed himself for the "again" slip up.
"Nobody wants me. Not my parents... not Oz... nobody. At least until tonight... but then *you* had to ruin everything." Angrily, Willow poked a finger at the dark haired vampire's solid chest.
"Willow, you are drunk, and you're not thinking straight. God only knows what those boys would have done to you..." Angel began.
"I wasn't gonna stay with them. I was going home with Spike", she replied as if that made all the difference in the world.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Angel shook his head. "In the morning you are going to thank me."
"No I won't", she insisted stubbornly. "I may be drunk, but at least I was having fun... All my life I have *always* been ignored for someone more beautiful, more popular, more sexy than me. Tonight, *I* was all those things. I was *wanted*", Willow declared.
In that instance, Angel admitted to himself how much he truly hated Sunnydale. Not for demons or other ungodly horrors that this place kept, he hated this place because it took a soul as pure as Willow and was crushing it with fiendish delight.
"Oh Willow."
It was all he could say, without giving too much away. He wanted to say more... so much more. He wanted to tell her that she was beautiful, and sexy, and so much more. His hand reached out to touch her cheek, but he managed to snap himself out of it in time.
"Come with me", Angel said gently.
"This isn't the way to my house", she pointed out.
"I'm taking you to my place", Angel replied. Spike might still be around and with Willow alone in this state she would very likely invite him in to "dance" again.
"Oooh *your* place. What would Buffy think?", Willow asked while trying to keep her balance.
"I'm sure she'll understand", he answered. In reality, however, he didn't give a damn about what the blonde slayer thought about this. His first priority was Willow.
"Angel?"
"Yes Willow."
"You know I was thinking...", she said thoughtfully. "Is this all there is? I mean, is all you have to do to make people notice you, dress up in a tight black mini skirt and a tube top? Is that how it works? Than it like *bam*. *Everybody* wants you, they want to be near you, they want to touch you."
Slowly, she moved in front of him, her green eyes gazing into Angel's dark ones.
"It even worked on Spike. I mean, he wanted me... all those boys wanted me."
Willow placed her hands on the souled vampire's hard chest, and watched it move when he took an unnecessary breath.
"Willow, we have to get going--", Angel said, trying to ignore the spell she was weaving around him.
But Willow ignored him and continued to step closer, a sly, sensuous unfamiliar smile playing upon her lips.
"How about you Angel? Do you want me?
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