|
You, me and ‘im by Angel Jade
Xander walked through the doors of the Hyperion and marvelled at the place. What a great place to live! “Xander? Oh my God!” Cordelia screamed, running over and hugging him. “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you call? Is something wrong? How’s everybody? How’s Sunnydale?”
“Uh…Cordy…I need to breathe.” Xander pointed out.
She let go of him sheepishly and looked him over. “You grew up!”
“So did you…all, older and stuff.” Xander said, carefully.
“I look like shit. You can say it. Try working for these guys for two minutes and see how you look.” She said, dryly.
“No thanks…work…me, not good.” Xander joked.
“Xander.” Angel stood at the foot of the stairs, looking at the boy with a funny look in his eyes.
“Hey Deadboy!” Xander said, affectionately. “How’s unlife?”
“What brings you to LA?” Angel asked, walking over. Cordy stepped away, towards the office door where Wesley and Gunn had appeared.
“Travelling a little…I dunno…nothing really.” Xander replied.
“I got a call from Buffy.” Angel stated.
Xander faltered. He looked at Angel, realised Angel knew exactly why he was on the road and he turned around, heading for the door.
Angel was blocking his way in seconds.
“Let me past, deadboy!” Xander warned angrily.
“You ran away from Sunnydale…Buffy explained everything.” Angel told him.
“Ran? I’m a big boy now, Angel. It’s my right to go wherever the hell I want.” Xander said, stepping to the side, groaning as Angel did the same.
“You can’t run from this!” Angel warned him.
“Run from what? Whatever Buffy told you, she was making it up. She has no idea. She just assumes…”
“Then why are you running?” Angel asked simply.
“I’m not running!” Xander yelled.
“Then why are you here?” Angel asked.
Xander couldn’t stand to look at Angel anymore and dropped his gaze. “I can do what I want.”
“Not if it hurts other people.” Angel told him.
“Fuck them!” Xander yelled.
“See, if nothing was wrong, you wouldn’t say that.” Angel said smugly. “Now why don’t we go chat somewhere…?”
“As if!” Xander laughed. “You’re the last person I’d talk to.”
“Then why did you come?” Angel demanded.
“Because I had no where else!” Xander yelled back at him.
“And now you want to leave?” Angel asked. “Now I know…”
“You don’t know shit, deadboy!” Xander yelled, trying and failing to walk around the vampire again. “Get out my fucking way.”
“I’ll take you home.” Angel stated.
“No! I’m not going back, you take me back and I get the first bus outta there and I swear to God no one will find me this time.” Xander hissed.
“Then you can stay here.” Angel said.
“No! I’m leaving…” Xander said, stubbornly.
Angel raised his eyebrows, indicating that there was no way Xander would get past him.
Xander hesitated, not quite sure if the vampire was serious. He decided to test it out and went to shove Angel out the way.
Angel caught his wrists and held them, not painfully, but firmly enough to prevent escape.
“Let me go!” Xander yelled.
“I’m doing this for your own good.” Angel said, simply.
“Xander, please. We’re worried about you.” Cordelia said, softly from across the room.
“This is none of your business!” Xander told them, struggling hard against Angel’s grasp.
“I got a phone call from Spike too.” Angel said.
Xander hesitated. “What? Spike rung you?”
Angel nodded. “He told me to look after you.”
Xander laughed. “Like he cares, he’s just trying to score points with Buffy so she’ll fuck him.”
“Maybe so, but he had a convincing argument.” Angel said, his face not faltering.
“Yeah, what’s that?” Xander asked.
“He said he could smell her all over you.”
“Stop it…” Xander said, quietly.
“Could smell the blood.”
“I said, stop it.” Xander said, a little louder, unable to look the vampire in the eyes.
“Guys, could you give us some time?” Angel asked his friends. They nodded and grabbed their things before making a quick exit.
“Are you going to stand here holding my wrists all day or can I have them back?” Xander asked, dryly.
Angel released him, but made no effort to move from where he was standing. “Spike saw the wounds…” Xander was so angry, he could no longer form words, so he simply turned around and walked deeper into the hotel.
“What she did to you…”
“Fuck, you just don’t stop do you?” Xander asked, with venom in his voice. “Why is this so important to you?”
“Because your friends are worried.” Angel stated. “I’m worried.”
Xander snorted. “Sure ya are, deadboy.”
Angel went to continue but the sound of the hotel doors opening stopped him. He looked around to see a very pissed off lawyer.
“Lindsey?”
“I wanna talk to you.” Lindsey said.
“Not now…I’m kinda busy.” Angel replied.
“Oh! Always too busy! Been busy for the past week Angel?” Lindsey asked sarcastically. “You think you can just walk into my office, screw me over my desk and walk out? Then nothing…not a call to say, ‘sorry Lindsey, big mistake, lets go back to trying to kill each other,’ or even ‘hey, Lindz! How about a date Friday night?’ You think that’s funny or something?”
Xander stared horrified at the babbling lawyer who didn’t even see him standing there.
“Can we talk about this later?” Angel asked, throwing a look at Xander.
“Fuck you! We’re talking about this now!” Lindsey demanded.
“My God…and ew!” Xander said. “No one told me you switched sides.”
“I…” Angel went to explain, but couldn’t quite find the words.
“This your fuck toy?” Lindsey asked. “He screwing you as well?”
“Kinda…but not exactly in the way your implying.” Xander replied, throwing a meaningful look at the vampire.
“Lindsey, calm down. I’m really busy right now, so come back later tonight and we can talk.” Angel said softly.
“Oh, so I’m at your beck and call now, huh?” Lindsey asked. “Oh, it’s fun being your bitch.”
Xander almost keeled over. He didn’t know whether to laugh or vomit.
“Lindsey! Not. Now.” Angel hissed.
“Yeah, deadboy here’s taking me prisoner.” Xander said. “Stay if you like. You’ll soon go off him once you realise what an ass he is.”
“Oh I know already…and you keeping boys prisoner now? Sick fuck.” Lindsey said.
Angel groaned. “I’m keeping him here for his own good and I am NOT FUCKING HIM.” Angel said, angrily.
“Trust me, he’s really not.” Xander added.
Lindsey moaned. “Fine, but I’ll be back later and we’re gonna talk. A lot.” Lindsey said, walking away. “Hey, good luck with escaping.”
“Thanks!” Xander called after him. “Nice guy. Boyfriend?” Angel sighed. “I don’t know why I put up with this. You two put Cordelia to shame.”
“Hey, I’m not that annoying!” Xander protested. “And about the whole keeping me here thing…you know I’ll run the moment you leave me alone.”
“Guess I’ll have to chain you up.” Angel said, walking away.
Xander’s face fell. “Hey…deadboy. That was a joke right? Deadboy…”
*****
He would have run. He would have, except Angel’s room was next door and he knew full well the vampire would hear him.
So Xander tried to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw her looking down at him, watching him suffer pain in places he didn’t know existed…
He shook images from his head and sat up, hoping Angel wouldn’t run in to check on him. Damn vampires and their super hearing.
He thought about Lindsey…the loud, opinionated lawyer who Angel was screwing…wow that sounded weird in his head. Xander had always pictured Angel as a small blonde girl type.
Well, there was Spike.
Xander groaned loudly as he had images of Angel and Spike…
“Are you okay?” Angel asked, opening the door.
Xander jumped. “No!”
“What? Bad dream?” Angel asked, a small frown on his face.
“How am I ever going to sleep again? All I can see is you and Spike…” “Me and Spike?” Angel seemed a little surprised.
Xander blushed. “No…I meant, because I know you’re gay now…”
“I’m not…” “I was thinking how you liked little blondes…then I thought of Spike and ew!”
Angel smiled. “Is that so wrong?”
“Point one, Spike! Point two, vampire! Point three, male!” Xander said.
“Well, I created William, not Spike. Vampire’s will fuck anything…male or female and I am a vampire…sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself not to fuck Spike.”
Xander blushed again. “I am not! Uh…Spike! Ew no…as if!”
Angel rolled his eyes. “Well, if you’re quite done, I’m going to get some sleep.”
“Angel!” Lindsey’s voice called out from downstairs.
Xander stifled a giggle as Angel groaned and walked to the stairs.
“I was trying to sleep.” Angel said, dryly.
“I’m devastated, really.” Lindsey replied. “Can we do this upstairs?” Angel gave Lindsey a look. “You want to talk upstairs?”
“In your bedroom to be precise.” Lindsey said flatly.
Angel sighed. “Fine…go…upstairs…”
Lindsey did, a small smirk on his face. He passed Xander’s open door and saw the young boy with his head popping out. “Still not escaped?”
Xander grinned. “Not yet.”
Lindsey flashed the boy a smile before being led into Angel’s bedroom.
*****
“Okay, so here’s the thing.” Lindsey ranted, sitting on Angel’s half slept in bed and watching the vampire with a fixed gaze. “You don’t walk into my office and screw my life up like that.”
“My intentions were to screw you, not your life.” Angel replied pointedly. “My mistake.”
Lindsey groaned angrily. “Don’t make out like this is one big joke.”
“I’m not, I just don’t know what you want. You wanted it bad enough in the office, that I got, but afterwards, you told me if I came near you again, you’d kill me…a lame threat from a guy with his pants at his feet, but a threat nevertheless.”
“And so you disappear?” Lindsey asked.
“Waited is a more accurate term.” Angel smiled.
Lindsey scoffed. “Oh…so you think you know me, huh?”
“I do.”
“You knew I’d come here, big deal…doesn’t mean you know dick about me.”
“Did you come here to talk or fuck?” Angel asked simply.
“Both.”
The vampire nodded, a sly smile forming. “Uh-huh.”
“Bite me.” “Sue me.”
“Blow me.”
“Fuck me.”
Lindsey went to stand up, keeping the visage of anger and hatred up, right until Angel stalked over and pressed his lips up against Lindsey’s.
They both lost the amusing banter they enjoyed so much and began to kiss desperately.
“Now that’s disturbing.” Xander said, smirking from the doorway.
Angel practically leaped away from Lindsey. “Xander!”
“What?” Xander strolled in grinning. “You keep me locked up in the evil hotel of doom, forced to listen to a vampire and a lawyer fighting like a married couple until they fuck each other senseless. It has all the markings of a Disney movie.”
Lindsey smiled and went to say something.
“Keep quiet you.” Angel ordered. “Wait right here while I put him to bed.”
Xander frowned. “But I don’t wanna go to bed. He gets to stay up.”
Angel grabbed the base of Xander’s neck and pushed him playfully over to his room. “Maybe when you’re a little older, you can stay up too.”
“Sure, Dad.” Xander grumbled, pretending to get into bed to settle down.
Angel rolled his eyes and went back to Lindsey, wishing the two of them would just give him five minutes of peace.
Xander watched the door close behind him and felt sick at the dark that came with it. Although he’d never tell Angel this, he was fine; he was great…but only until he was alone. And he’d do anything…even play fighting with a gay couple as they’re trying to have sex, to escape the dark silence.
*****
“Now where were we?” Angel asked, walking back into his room. He stopped as he saw Lindsey lying idly on the bed, the cover barely covering anything.
“Put the kid to sleep?” Lindsey asked, an amused look on his face.
“All tucked up.” Angel replied, walking over.
“Then I guess we were about to ‘discuss’ what you’re going to do about this mess you got us in.” Lindsey pointed out.
“Discuss? Sure.” Angel said dryly. He helped himself out of some clothes, joining Lindsey on the bed. “How about…casual sex whenever I feel like it.” Lindsey pretended to consider it. “Not sure that’s mutually beneficial.”
Angel sighed. “Okay, how about we go half way. At work, we still try and kill each other and out of office hours, we…” “Sounds good to me.” Lindsey interrupted, practically pouncing on Angel, getting caught up in the covers as he tried to straddle his hips.
“What’s got into you?” Angel asked, bemused by the change in Lindsey.
“You if I’m lucky.”
Lindsey shifted a little so he could help the last remaining clothes Angel had left on, off, while Angel offered no help, enjoying Lindsey taking over for once. Last time the lawyer had simply stood there, too shocked to help, too horny to protest.
Once Angel was naked too, Lindsey helped Angel help him into position, with Angel pressing down onto his back. Lindsey could feel Angel’s erection pushing at his ass and he clenched his eyes together, wishing Angel would speed up.
The vampire pressed his lips onto Lindsey’s bare neck, kissing it playfully, knowing how much the humans liked it. Loved to be kissed, all the time knowing it wouldn’t take much for Angel to bury his fangs into their skin and finish it off.
“Oh God Angel, please…” Lindsey muttered.
“What?” Angel asked in a low whisper. “What do you want Lindsey?”
“You.” Lindsey pleaded softly. “I need you inside me now.”
Angel managed to locate the lube he’d kept since his first ‘meeting’ with Lindsey, knowing full well it would end this way. He slowly applied it to his finger and began to tease Lindsey’s ass. “Like this?” “Yeah…more…just hurry.” Lindsey said.
Angel slipped in a few more fingers before he was satisfied Lindsey was ready. He pulled out, before pushing his cock deep into him.
*****
Xander huddled into a ball on the bed, ignoring the pain thumping in his head from the lack of sleep. He heard very soft sounds coming from Angel’s room and instead of feeling sickened by it, he felt almost comforted by it. It gave him something to focus on.
Something to imagine even.
*****
Angel woke to a strange assortment of laughing and wondered where the hell he was. He opened his eyes and sat up, only to find Lindsey and Xander sitting on either side of him, both only wearing boxers and watching the television.
“What…?” “Ah, morning deadboy.” Xander grinned.
“What are you doing in here?” Angel asked, slightly confused.
“Don’t worry, we didn’t fuck last night.” Xander told him, smiling at the vampire’s confusion.
“No I…what are you…?”
“No TV in my room, didn’t think you’d mind.” Xander told him.
“Besides, we’re watching Jerry Springer.” Lindsey said as if it meant something.
“Who?”
Xander rolled his eyes. “You should go on this, deadboy. ‘I have a tendency of screwing people who want me dead’. Has a ring to it, huh?”
“Look who’s talking.” Angel shot back. When he saw Xander’s face, he realised he’d said too much. “Shit, Xander I didn’t mean…”
Xander felt like he’d forgotten how to inhale oxygen. He looked away. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. Just a joke.”
Angel could have kicked himself for saying that. He’d only meant the kind of girls Xander had been involved with. He hadn’t even thought…
Lindsey sat there, an awkward look on his face.
“I’m gonna go use the bathroom, I’ve seen this episode anyway. You guys probably have stuff to talk about.” Xander was out the room before Angel could stop him.
“What was that about?” Lindsey asked, all marks of joking gone from his face.
“Uh…nothing. Aren’t you going to be late for work?” Angel asked, getting out of bed and throwing some clothes on.
“No, I was late an hour ago. Now I’m unavoidably detained with no method of communication.” Lindsey replied.
“Whatever. Just don’t let the others see you when you leave.” Angel walked out the room leaving a rather angry and maybe even hurt Lindsey behind.
*****
“Hey.” Angel said, finding Xander on the roof, hiding in the sunshine. Angel remained in the shadows, watching the human look out over the LA landscape.
“Oh…hey. I’m not gonna do a runner. Not here anyway. You can go back in.” Xander said, unemotionally.
“I’m sorry about what I said.” Angel said sheepishly. “I didn’t think.” “Think? About what?” Xander asked, a fake joking tone coming to his hard voice. “Don’t know what you’re on about.”
“Xander…”
“You know, I was thinking, maybe I should go back to Sunnydale. You know, see how things work out there.” Xander said.
“You wouldn’t stay.”
Xander shot Angel a look, wondering how the vampire knew everything that crossed his mind.
“Xander I know what you’ve been through and I know you won’t go back there. Not yet. You want to be far away from people who try and help you, but you can’t stand to be alone.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Xander said, looking away.
“Yes you do. You got into bed with me and Lindsey this morning, knowing full well what we did last night.” Angel pointed out. “That’s just not you.”
“I wanted to watch TV.” Xander said lamely.
“I can help you if you’ll talk to me.” Angel said softly.
“I don’t need or want help. I want to be left alone.” Xander said firmly.
“How long will that last? How long can you stand to be on your own, remembering everything…?”
“Shut the fuck up.” Xander yelled, bringing his hands up to his ears.
“Seeing everything…”
Xander backed away from the shadowed door and towards the high ledge. He looked down, his face a picture of twisted anguish. “Shut up.”
Angel sensed someone behind him and saw Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn, all looking rather intrigued by what was going on. Angel threw a look at the boy, before indicating to his friends.
Xander placed a hand on the ledge, wishing he could only find the guts to use it to pull himself over. A hand on his shoulder scared him and he spun around, his back hitting the ledge painfully.
“Hey, it’s alright. Calm down.” Gunn said, watching Xander carefully.
“Xander, come back inside. I’ll make some coffee.” Cordelia offered.
“Way to go Cordy, cheer him up why dontcha.” Gunn teased.
“I wasn’t going to…” Xander told them, allowing himself to be lead away by the three humans.
Angel watched helplessly and they walked past him downstairs. The weight of the situation hit him hard.
If they hadn’t been there, what could he have done?
*****
When Angel finally came down, he passed his room wondering if Lindsey had gone. He felt bad for being so short with him. He’d have loved to have put it down to habit, but he’d been worried about Xander and that was no excuse.
He heard laughter from downstairs and was relieved to see Xander, Cordelia, Gunn and Wesley joking around together. No hint of what had just happened in the air.
“Hey deadboy. You’re looking broody as always.” Xander chirped.
Angel saw through the act in a second but humoured him anyway. “Don’t call me that.” “I think it’s a great name.” Gunn grinned. “Suits ya.”
“I can see you’re going to be a good influence round here.” Angel said sarcastically.
“You gonna stick around?” Gunn asked. “We could do with another hand.”
“I agree. You could be a great asset to us here at Angel investigations.” Wesley said.
“Me? An asset.” Xander laughed. “Well, I could answer the phone.”
“Nu-uh. That’s my job, buster.” Cordelia told him.
“I’m sure Xander will find something to keep him busy.” Angel said.
*****
Lindsey slammed the filing drawer shut and swore under his breath. Another client he wouldn’t be seeing any time soon.
“My, what got you in such a bad mood?” Lilah asked from the doorway.
“You know…one day, remind me to teach you how to knock.” Lindsey said, sitting back at his desk angrily.
“Late night last night?” She asked, walking in as if she had every right to.
Lindsey looked at her, trying to evaluate if she knew. “No.”
“Oh come on, you can’t fool me.” Lilah sang.
“Jealous?”
“Excuse me?”
“Lilah, we both know you’ve wanted me since I started here.” Lindsey smirked.
“As if.” Lilah shot back.
“Or are you more into the good guy hero type? Possibly of the undead kind?” Lindsey asked.
Lilah snorted. “I like my men…rich.” She grinned as she walked back to the door. “Besides, You’re the one so fixated on him…maybe I should be asking you those questions.”
Lindsey waited until Lilah was outside before slamming his fist onto his desk. “Bitch.”
He didn’t know why he was letting Angel get to him so much. Why was he even doing something as stupid as sleeping with the enemy anyway? And not just any enemy…a fucking vampire.
But Angel’s attitude to the whole thing was bugging him. The vampire had walked in, made Lindsey want him in seconds…and now Lindsey wanted more.
And Angel obviously didn’t.
*****
Xander waited until Gunn and the others were gone before letting the fake smile he wore fall. He sighed angrily, wishing Lindsey were there so he could go hang out with Angel and the lawyer. He seemed to be able to forget everything when he was teasing them…or just watching them…seeing people attracted to each other in a way Xander couldn’t begin to understand…or wished he could…
And so Xander decided to try his luck with the vampire.
He walked upstairs to Angel’s door and pushed it open. “So, when we getting another visit from Lindsey?” Xander froze as he saw the distant look on Angel’s face and walked in, a little worried. “Angel?”
Angel snapped out of the daydream and looked at Xander sadly. “Sorry…just thinking.”
“Did something happen?” Xander asked, a little awkward, but desperate to know.
“I…nothing. Nothing happened. I’m fine.” Angel replied.
“Did something happen with Lindsey?” Xander asked cautiously.
“No.” Angel lied.
“You had a fight?” Xander asked.
Angel hesitated, “It’s nothing, I just snapped.”
“And he left?”
“Yeah.”
Xander thought about it. “What did you say?”
“I…just that he should leave. I wasn’t very nice…I haven’t been…I should have been nicer.”
“Hey, we all make mistakes, Angel. Just call him. Tell him you’re sorry, tell him how you really feel.” Xander advised.
“I don’t…its only sex. Nothing else.” Angel said stubbornly. “And when did you become a friendly adviser?”
“Since I became your friend.” Xander said. “Now you wanna look after me…I gotta repay the favour, okay?”
Angel smiled and nodded.
“Right, so fist thing, you ring him at a sensible time and tell him you’re sorry you snapped, but things got to you. You’ve been thinking about you and him and you don’t wanna lose him. Tell him that you’re lonely without him…that you’ve messed things up and you want to make them right again. Tell him to give you another chance.”
Angel started at the man he hardly knew.
Xander shifted awkwardly on his feet. “Well, that’s what I’d like to hear, anyway.”
Angel smiled.
“Okay, well, I’m gonna go…why does it feel like I haven’t slept in days?” He turned to leave.
“Xander?” Angel called, stopping Xander in his tracks. “Thanks. I’m not good at taking peoples advice. But yours makes sense. So…thanks.”
“Anytime, deadboy. Anytime.” Xander said, walking out.
*****
Xander smiled as he sat down on his bed. He’d felt good talking to Angel. The first time ever that he’d been near the vampire and felt anything but hate, jealousy or fear. Right now, he felt happy. Happy to have helped. Happy to have made his peace with the one person he’d fought with constantly for years. Happy that he forgot his problems momentarily to deal with someone else’s.
Xander found himself thinking of Angel and Lindsey in a strange way. He wanted to see them happy together. That was weird enough…but he wanted them in his life. He wanted to be there to share in the amusing bickering. The obvious attraction between the two. He wanted to be wanted by them in a different way to the way he’d felt with his friends in Sunnydale.
And for the first time in his life, it didn’t scare him. Homosexuals…relationship…he didn’t see that. Only them. Two guys that were obviously perfect for each other.
Perfect without him, he thought.
At least he wasn’t gay. If he was, it might actually bother him that they were into each other…no room for him.
But as he wasn’t gay…it really didn’t matter.
*****
Lindsey picked up his phone and snapped a question down the receiver.
“Uh…Lindsey, it’s me, don’t hang up.” Angel’s voice said.
“Angel…what do you want? I’m busy.” Lindsey said, shortly.
“I just…well, I think I should…” Angel stuttered, before remembering Xander’s advice. “I miss you. I was wrong to snap at you and I want to make it up to you.”
Lindsey was a little thrown by the un-Angel like behaviour.
“Will you give me another chance?” Angel asked.
Lindsey sighed. “Listen, it was sex, okay? Nothing else. I don’t want anything more.” He asked, inwardly kicking himself for not being able to say what he really felt.
“I’ll be waiting tonight. If you can come, I’ll be here waiting, if not, I understand.” The phone line went dead before Lindsey could reply.
“Shit.”
*****
“What if he doesn’t show?” Angel asked Xander nervously.
“He’ll show.”
“But what if he only comes here to tell me it’s over?”
“He won’t.”
“But…” “Angel! Listen. You managed to seduce the guy once, right? Do it again. But don’t make it all about sex. Make him think there’s more to it.”
“More to it? But there isn’t.” Angel replied.
Xander sighed. “Yeah…and you’re so worried about him not showing because you’re horny…gimmie a break.”
Angel looked at his feet. “Do I look okay?”
Xander managed to restrain himself from making an insulting comment. “You look good, deadboy. Now remember what I said okay?”
Angel nodded. “When did you get all, insightful?”
“Right after high school…I just knew that place was holding me back.” Xander grinned, and walked back to his room, ready to spend another night alone in the room that would never really be his.
*****
Lindsey begrudgingly stepped through the hotel doors and looked round. No one in sight. He already knew full well where Angel would be, but he was hoping he wouldn’t have to go up there. Angel’s bedroom. Angel’s territory.
But out of pure curiosity, he began to climb the stairs, trying to be quiet so he’d at least get to surprise him.
He poked his head round the door and saw Angel sitting in the corner, half hidden by shadows. He wanted nothing more than to mock the vampire, but decided against it. He had to keep things serious.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d come.” Angel stated, standing up.
“Neither was I.” Lindsey told him. “But your ‘oh-so-inviting’ invitation intrigued me. I’m here to let you apologise, then I’m leaving.”
Angel practically winced at the tone in Lindsey’s voice. “I’m sorry…but I don’t want you to leave.”
“If it’s really just sex to you then go…neither of us need that. But if not, then I want you to stay.” Angel said, honestly.
“What are you talking about? It was only sex to you. Just another way for you to mess up my life…”
“I did it because I wanted to. I continued because I liked you. I’m asking you to stay because…I want you.” Angel interrupted.
Lindsey looked away. “This is all wrong and we both know it. I should…go.”
“Hold it, hold it!” Xander yelled, bursting in. “You’re both messing this up completely.”
“Xander!” Angel hissed.
“Right…Lindsey. Simple…you like the guy…you were scared he was using you for sex or perhaps trying to ‘mess up your life’ but now you know different. So don’t say anything…just…do what you people do and stop being so damn proud.”
Angel hid a smile.
“Okay, I’m done now. Gonna…go…” Xander kept his eyes on them as he closed the door behind him.
“Perhaps he’s…” Angel began.
“Sshh.” Lindsey said, walking over. “No talking remember?”
“But you…” Lindsey silenced him with a kiss.
*****
Angel and Lindsey collapsed onto the bed, kissing each other hungrily, both already naked from the short stripping spree they’d just had. Angel lay on his back, Lindsey over him, their hands exploring each other softly.
The lawyer leaned over Angel awkwardly to find Angel’s lube. He searched for a second, before Angel held the lube up, having pulled it from under the pillow.
“Expecting action tonight?” Lindsey asked, smiling.
“As always.” Angel grinned.
Lindsey helped apply it to Angel’s cock, rubbing down the shaft slowly, causing the vampire to moan helplessly.
“Lindsey please…” Angel begged. “Do it.”
And Lindsey obliged. He gently lowered himself onto Angel’s erection, straddling the vampire’s hips. He moved slowly, forcing Angel’s cock in and out of his ass. Angel tried to move his hips to pick the pace up but Lindsey forced him back down.
“Stop teasing…and fuck me.” Angel whispered.
Lindsey smirked and lowered himself deeper, picking up speed a little. Angel made soft moaning noises while Lindsey thrust himself upon Angel’s cock.
“Oh God Lindsey.” Angel cried, feeling himself being pushed over the edge.
******
Xander sighed angrily. He hated the messed up emotions in his head, confusing him. He loved being here but hated being trapped. He wanted people to leave him alone but couldn’t bear solitude. He wanted two men he shouldn’t want and could never have.
He grabbed his bag and threw the discarded clothes strew around the room into it. He couldn’t stay there anymore, if only to escape the loneliness. Xander knew it would be less lonely on the road. Because at least then he wouldn’t have to be with people he cared about and still feel alone. He shook his head, trying to make sense of that but failing. “So fucking screwed up.” Xander muttered to himself. “See…talking to yourself. Way to go, you’re officially nuts.”
He stood next to the door, slowing his breathing. There was no room for screwing up here; he had to do it now or not at all.
Once he was positive his heart wouldn’t pound from trying to sneak past Angel’s bedroom door, he opened it quietly and snuck out. He could hear the noises from Angel’s room as clearly as he could from his. At least Angel was too busy fucking to give a damn about him.
He walked out, a little excited to be free again, but he couldn’t help feeling a little sad. He had liked it there after all. And now he was on his own again. At least he wasn’t in the way. He couldn’t help feel he always was, especially now.
The door closed softly behind Xander and he walked into the cool night, prepared to make a new start.
*****
Lindsey did his belt up and flashed a smile at Angel, who was still naked in bed, under the covers.
“I’m surprised Xander hasn’t been in to congratulate us.” Lindsey laughed.
“Maybe he’s finally sleeping.” Angel commented.
“He’s a great guy. You known him long?”
“Friend of the ex.” Angel replied. “We used to hate each other…in a friendly rival way, not a ‘want to kill you way’.”
“He’s got some problems, huh?” Lindsey asked. Angel frowned so Lindsey explained himself. “I mean, you’re making him stay here. He seems a little high-strung sometimes. A little bitter maybe…”
“He’s got problems. He just needs time.” Angel said. “I can’t believe how much of a change he’s gone through. He’s matchmaking two guys…that’s not the Xander Harris I knew.”
“Well, tell I said thanks when he wakes up.” Lindsey said.
“Will do.” Angel replied.
“And now, now I go.” Lindsey said awkwardly.
“Right…” Angel looked away. “So…next time…”
“It’s okay if I come back…like, soon, right?” Lindsey asked.
Angel’s eyes light up. “Of course. Whenever you want…just…turn up.”
Lindsey smiled and nodded. “I’ll take you up on that.” He went to leave.
“Lindsey…” Angel called. The lawyer stopped and looked at Angel. “I’m glad you came. Really.”
“Me too.” Lindsey replied, walking out.
Angel couldn’t help the big grin that spread on his face as he lay back on the bed. Thanks to Xander, that’d gone really well. Angel wondered why Xander hadn’t rushed in to make sure things had gone well. It’s not like the boy could sleep longer than an hour at a time these days. Angel got up and walked to Xander’s room, opening the door very quietly. He was a little surprised to see the empty room, even more to see it clean and tidy. “Xander?”
Angel realised what had happened and ran back into his room, throwing clothes on. He ran downstairs and grabbed the phone.
“Cordy, Xander’s taken off. You have to get out there and look for him. You check the area round you. Bars, clubs, the train Station…yeah, I’m sure. Okay…I’ll have my cell phone.” Angel put the phone down before picking it back up and dialling. “Wesley, Xander’s gone…yeah…just check bars, clubs and anywhere else he might be round your area, okay? My cell phone will be on…no, I can’t stay here…oh, maybe you’re right…okay, you come here and I’ll do your area. Hurry.” Angel rung Gunn immediately after. “Gunn, Xander’s run off, I need you to look everywhere round your area. Bars, clubs and the bus station…yeah…I’ve rung Wes and Cordy…okay…thanks.” Angel waited at the door for Wesley to arrive, desperate to get out there and search. He was so scared he wouldn’t get there in time. Apart from LA being dangerous at night, he was scared Xander would run away for good…far away…
*****
Lindsey stopped by the local bar, walking in and getting a few smiles of recognition. He went to the bar and ordered a whiskey, before noticing the youth sitting a few meters down. Lindsey walked over and sat down next to him. “Is this your great escape or are you out on bail?”
Xander looked up from his drink and looked at Lindsey with little shock. “I’m not going back.”
“When did you run off?” Lindsey asked.
“When you two were busy. Figured it was a good time.” Xander replied.
“Yeah…probably.” Lindsey said, downing his drink and ordering another. “Want one?”
Xander nodded. “You’re not gonna take me back?”
“You’re bigger than me.” Lindsey smiled. “Don’t fancy my chances.”
Xander snorted. “You’d be surprised. Smaller have tried and succeeded.”
Lindsey noticed the bitterness in Xander’s voice. “Something happened to you didn’t it?”
Xander raised his eyebrows.
“Sorry, I’m prying. I just…think maybe you’re not in the right state of mind for this.”
“What?”
“Running away.”
“I’m not running. If I was I wouldn’t be sitting here drinking, would I?” Xander asked.
“Waiting for Angel to find you?” Lindsey asked.
“No. Just…drinking.” Xander said. “Trying to work up the guts.”
“Yeah…I do that.” Lindsey smiled. “Want another?”
“You drink too fast.” Xander said.
“You drink too slow.” Lindsey countered.
“Then hit me.” Xander said, pounding his fist on the bar.
Lindsey laughed and did so. “So you wanna talk?”
“Not at all. Wanna drink. Always good. Then you can give me a lift to the train station ‘cause I’m lost.”
Lindsey laughed. “Sure. But I won’t be able to drive. Already over the limit.”
“Then you can show me.” Xander replied.
“Think I can manage that.” Lindsey grinned.
*****
Angel slammed back into the hotel, scaring Wesley, who had fallen asleep at the desk, waiting for Xander to return.
“No luck?” Wesley asked.
“He’s gone.” Angel said flatly. “One job and I couldn’t even do that.”
“Job?” “They asked me to protect him, Wesley. I tried…but I messed up. I should have…I should have made him talk to me.” Angel said, more to himself than Wesley.
“You tried, Angel. That’s all you could do.”
“Go home, Wes. It’s too late. He’s gone. The others have gone back to bed, so should you.”
“But if you need me…”
“I’m fine. I’ll just wait up a little longer…just in case.” Angel muttered.
Wesley nodded. “Very well, you know where I am if you need me.”
*****
Angel stood up from his old desk as he heard loud singing. He walked out the office and watched as Lindsey and Xander walked through the door.
“I’m so in love with you, I’ll be forever blue. That you give me no reason, why you making me work so hard? That you give me no, that you give me no, that you give me no, that you give me no…soul…I hear you call…Oh baby please! Give a little respect tooooooo, me!” They sang badly.
“Xander…we were worried.” Angel chastised.
Xander took one look at Angel and burst into laughter. “How can you screw him…must be so hard to keep a straight face.”
Of course that tipped Lindsey off and they were soon, holding on to each other as they laughed.
Angel rolled his eyes. “Don’t need to ask who started this off.”
“I did not!” Lindsey protested.
“You did too.” Xander replied.
Lindsey burst into fits of giggles. “Yeah, I did. Bad me.” “Bad you.” Xander repeated. “You’ll have to get Angel to spank you later.”
The two men collapsed on the floor, laughing too hard to stand.
“You don’t watch it, you’ll both get spanked.” Angel said, hiding his amusement behind a stern glare.
Xander stopped laughing. “You can’t…M’not a…I don’t do guys…I’d do Lindsey…but only cause he’s rich.”
“I’m rich!” Lindsey said loudly as if he’d only just realised. “Woo hoo!”
Xander began to giggle again.
“I’m leaving you two here. I’m not helping you out. Have a nice hang over tomorrow.” Angel said.
“Hey! No! Wait! I brought him back so you’d thank me. He was gonna run away. I want a fuck!” Lindsey complained, trying to stand up, unsuccessfully.
“And me! I wanna!” Xander laughed.
Angel raised his eyebrows. “I thought you didn’t do guys.”
“I’ll make an exception ‘cause I might be a little tipsy.” Xander grinned.
Lindsey laugher harder. “Ooops, think we drank too much?”
“Your fault…” Xander said.
“Not.”
“Is. You made me…now we gotta screw Angel and it’s all your fault.” “Huh? We gotta…okay, but I’m not gonna let him moan about you being drunk.”
“You’re drunker-rer-rer.” Xander added, unable to say the word.
“So am not.” Lindsey replied.
“Are.”
“Okay…maybe am. But not gonna admit it. Damn…” He laughed. “I just did.” They laughed extremely hard at this while Angel wondered what it was like to be so drunk that the most trivial thing was funny.
*****
Lindsey and Xander crawled up the stairs, pissing around like children, while Angel walked up, wondering if it would be wrong to fuck them both…Xander would only hate him in the morning.
But who was to say Xander didn’t want this anyway…?
“Wow, there are hundreds of stairs here…more than anywhere I’ve ever been.” Xander commented, letting his forehead rest on one of the steps.
“A jail with carpets…nice. Do I get to be locked up too?” Lindsey asked Angel.
“You don’t know how tempted I am…” Angel muttered.
“He threatened to chain me up.” Xander said loudly. “That illegal…I think.”
“Only if you don’t wanna.” Lindsey said. “Don’t worry, I’ll represent you in court… ‘Xander Harris was unlawfully chained up in this vampire’s hotel! He must be punished.’” Lindsey collapsed into giggles.
Angel just rolled his eyes as he waited for them at the top of the stairs.
“We’re gonna punish him?” Xander asked.
“Only if we can…I mean…he’s all strong.” Lindsey said. “We need handcuffs.”
Xander exploded with laughter. “Cool. I got some at home…but they’re plastic ones…came with my sheriff costume.”
“Kinky!” Lindsey grinned.
“Well, I was a dirty seven year old. Lost count of the amount of times me and Willow played doctor.” Xander chuckled.
“I really, really hope you don’t mean that the way it sounded.” Angel said. “I feel sorry for Willow if you did.”
“Was just kidding.” Xander said, making it to the top of the stairs. He turned and sat on his ass and began to slide back down.
Angel leapt forward and grabbed Xander’s collar, pulling him back up.
Lindsey groaned. “No fair…you won! I should have won…I’m fast…”
“Sore loser.” Xander said, before hiccupping.
Lindsey laughed again, stopping where he was to clutch his stomach.
Angel sighed. He lay Xander by the wall at the top and went down, picking Lindsey up in his arms and taking him up. Xander had begun to slide back down by then, so Angel quickly deposited Lindsey and picked Xander up.
“Hey!” Xander cried out. “Put me down!”
“Stop it…Lindsey don’t you dare.” Angel yelled as Lindsey sat on the edge of the steps looking wistfully down.
“Bet I could beat you *down*.” Lindsey challenged Xander.
“You’re on!” Xander said. “Just as soon as deadboy puts me down.”
Angel looked at Lindsey. “Me and Xander are going to have mind blowing sex…have fun.” And he walked away.
Lindsey pouted. “But I wanna.” He crawled through the corridor, before using the doorframe to get to his feet. “See…you’re not…you’re putting him to bed…in our bed.”
“Our bed? Since when do you live here?” Angel asked.
“As soon as you ask me to.” Lindsey said, honestly.
Angel looked at Lindsey before running forward to help the lawyer, who’d sunk to his knees. “Nice look for ya, Linz, but something tells me you’re too drunk.”
“M’not…wanna…wait, what we talking about…?” Lindsey asked, as he was deposited next to Xander on the bed.
“Hello.” Xander said, looking at Lindsey…their faces only inches away.
“Oh…hello.” Lindsey replied.
Angel couldn’t help but chuckle this time. “You two should never drink again.”
“But it’s fun!” Xander said.
“And fun!”
“But it’s also fun!”
“Only when it’s fun!”
Angel groaned. “You’re not sleepy at all?”
Lindsey sat up quickly. “Horny.”
“And me!” Xander said, trying to sit up but falling back down. “I’m hella horny. Lets go!”
“I’m not having sex with you.” Angel said seriously.
Xander lay back. “Oh…sorry. I was just kidding…God, as if I would.” Xander got off the bed and went for the door trying to walk in a straight line.
“Xander wait!” Angel called out, grabbing the boy and holding him still. “That’s not what I meant…I just meant…you’re drunk and you don’t like me and Lindsey like that…”
“Why do you think I ran away, deadboy?” Xander asked, all joke gone from his face.
Angel was surprised by his comment. “You ran away because of me and Lindsey?”
“Yeah, I don’t get that. Xander Harris NEVER gets that. I wanted you and him…and I shouldn’t because I’m straight and I’m dating someone and…I’m drunk as hell. But I don’t wanna be in the way…”
“You’re never in the way Xander.” We like having you here.” Angel assured him.
Lindsey got off the bed but tripped and fell flat on his face. “Yeah…we do! And ow…big ow…”
Xander giggled.
Lindsey ran to their sides. “Come on…Angel wants to, dontcha? I do…I like ya Xander…so lets fuck already.”
Xander looked at Angel.
“If you blame me in the morning…” Angel warned.
“If you don’t want to it’s…” “No, Xander, I do…I like you…a lot. I want to.” Angel said, looking deep into Xander’s dilated eyes.
“Good, ‘cause I’m too drunk to find my dick.” Xander told them before he and Lindsey collapsed back on the bed, laughing.
*****
“Oh God…owwww.” Xander moaned as he opened his eyes.
“Mmmm…don’t wake me up…I’m gonna sleep through it.” Lindsey muttered.
“You are awake.” Xander murmured back.
“Well, now I am.” Lindsey replied, half joking.
“Good morning…afternoon even.” Angel said, walking in to see the two men, tangled up in the covers. He held out the two glasses of green liquid to them. “One for you and one for you.”
Xander took his, eyeing the drink warily. “Is it alcohol?”
“No…it’ll help your headache go away.” Angel replied. “Lindsey, up…now.”
“I don’t have a headache…I have a giant fucker of a migraine.” Lindsey said, irritably, sitting up and taking the glass.
“Oh Jesus, Angel, what’s in that?!” Xander asked, holding the glass away from him as if it were poison.
“Old family recipe. My uncle passed it down to me.” Angel said proudly.
“Passes through the family drunks?” Lindsey asked.
Angel smiled. “Something like that. Anyway, it’ll help, trust me.”
Lindsey closed his eyes and downed the drink before eliciting a giant, “Aggghhhh.”
“You took the ‘aggghhh’ right out of my mouth.” Xander said, before attempting to drink the rest.
Lindsey stretched, letting the cover fall from his chest…revealing his the majority of his naked body.
Xander’s eyes shot forward, blushing slightly. “Uh…what…did…we…I mean, me…did I?”
Angel laughed. “We were going to, but not only did one of you fall asleep…one of you threw up then fell asleep.”
Xander grinned. “Hey…I made it to the toilet at least!”
“Can’t hold your alcohol.” Lindsey teased.
“I wouldn’t talk if I were you…did you know you can actually hold conversations in your sleep after you’ve been drinking?” Angel asked Lindsey.
“Yeah…what I say?” Lindsey asked curiously.
“You really don’t want to know.” Angel told him.
“So…another day of being absolutely useless…man I wish I had a job.” Xander moaned. “Thank God for cartoons.”
Lindsey groaned and lay back down. “Shit…I missed work again. I’m gonna get fired.”
“That’s a good thing.” Angel said.
“No, cause at my firm, when they say ‘fired’ they mean it literally. That a whole lot of pain I don’t need.” Lindsey explained.
“It’ll be good, especially if you’re moving in with me.” Angel said, ignoring Lindsey’s comment.
“Huh?” Lindsey asked.
“Last night, you said you were only waiting until I asked before moving in.” Angel stated. “So I’m asking.”
“You want me to give up my job?” Lindsey asked.
“I don’t think they’d approve of you doing both.” Angel said.
“I don’t know…it’s just, it’s my job…my life…I worked for it and…” Lindsey broke off when he saw the slight disappointment in Angel’s eyes. “As soon as I can get some dirty information on them, I’ll blackmail them into letting me leave…okay?”
Angel nodded. “Don’t feel you have to.”
“No, I want to.” Lindsey said. “I’ll have no money anymore…but I’ll be happy.”
“That’s good, you should both be…happy.” Xander said, grabbing the rest of his clothes and walking out with only his boxers on.
“You don’t want to stay and be happy with us?” Lindsey joked.
“Nah, I got better things…back home.” Xander said. “You know…girlfriend.”
“You think he feels left out?” Lindsey asked Angel.
“I think he’s in definite need of attention.” Angel said, smiling.
“This isn’t funny.” Xander said, getting angry at them.
“Nope…not funny at all.” Angel said, picking Xander up in his arms and carrying him to the bed.
“Put me down, deadboy!” Xander yelled.
Angel dropped him on the bed and Lindsey went round the other side, both leaning over him, blocking all escape.
“You still want to don’t you?” Angel asked.
Xander didn’t want to admit it. It’d been so much easier when he was drunk.
Lindsey pouted playfully. “Please?”
Xander cracked a smile. “You don’t want to do this…you’re just pitying me.”
Angel snorted. “Want to know a secret? I’ve wanted to since you stood up to Angelus while Buffy was in hospital. You really changed my opinion of you then.”
“Yeah…and I wanted you since…well, I met you…which hasn’t been very long...but after last night, no way are we letting you go. You said you wanted to.” Lindsey said.
Xander chuckled. “I’m going to regret this.”
“Trust me,” Angel said, “You’re not.”
*****
Xander and Angel collapsed on the bed, their hands exploring each other as they kissed passionately. Lindsey moved over beside them, his hand on Angel’s back, watching with great interest at what they were doing.
Xander felt Angel’s erection pressing into his leg and he felt himself growing hard. He pulled away from Angel and said, “Now…can we…?”
Angel smiled brought Xander off the bed to grab the lube. He applied the lube to his own cock, before slipping a finger inside Xander, stretching his hole.
Xander couldn’t believe this was happening to him…and that it actually felt good. He looked at Lindsey as the lawyer clasped Xander’s cock and began to stroke it gently.
Once Angel was done, he gently placed his cock at Xander’s entrance, easing inside.
Xander felt Angel filling him just as Lindsey’s hot mouth took his hard cock in and began to run his tongue up and down the shaft.
Xander groaned as Angel pushed into him, pressing deeper and moving faster with each stroke, until a sharp wave of pleasure hit him and he came with a cry in Lindsey’s mouth.
Angel continued to thrust into Xander, his lips on the boy’s neck, kissing him hungrily.
Lindsey waited until Angel came, before lying on his back, as Xander was urged to straddled his hips by Angel. Xander eased himself onto the lawyers painfully erect cock, both moaning as he did. Xander felt a little sore by now, but when Angel kissed him again, he for got the discomfort and began to move himself on Lindsey’s cock.
“Fuck Xander…” Lindsey groaned. “You’re so tight.”
Xander arched his back and continued to fuck himself on Lindsey, moaning ever so slightly with each thrust.
Lindsey felt Xander’s muscles clamp around his cock, bringing him to a climax. He came into Xander before relaxing on the bed, breathing deeply.
Xander moved over to lie next to him, leaving room for Angel to slip in beside him. “Can I ask you something, Angel?”
“Mmm hmm.” Angel replied.
“If you’ve wanted me since then, how come you never did *that* before?” Xander asked.
Angel laughed. “Asking myself the same question.”
“God…I’m never leaving this bed again.” Lindsey told them,
“I’m gonna go get breakfast.” Xander said.
“Except maybe for that.”
*****
//“Stop! Please…”//
Xander sat alone on the roof sitting on the small wall, only a short breeze away from falling. He felt safe up there…that or he didn’t care too much about being knocked off.
He wasn’t smiling anymore. That’d stopped the moment Lindsey had gone to work and Angel had gone to save people.
//“I don’t know…I swear I don’t, why are you asking me?”//
Lost in thought Xander began to drift back to the experience, unwillingly reliving every moment. Every word, every cry, every scream.
//“Please, I’ll do anything! Just stop…please, stop!”//
Xander placed his hand up to his face, as if he could wipe the scenes from his eyes…or cringe them away…
Nothing worked. Except, it seemed, Angel and Lindsey.
“Xander…” Angel said softly as he walked out onto the roof.
Xander jumped a little, losing his balance.
Angel was by his side in a second, bringing him back to safety.
“Sorry.”
“You could have fallen…I wish you’d stop coming up here.” Angel said, not letting go of Xander’s arm.
“I like it here.” Xander said quietly.
“Why, so you can think? It’s not healthy, you need to be expressing your thoughts to other people.”
“And you’d be a good one to advise on that, wouldn’t you?” Xander asked sarcastically. “Sorry…I didn’t mean that to sound…when I think, it makes me grumpy.”
Angel smiled. “Time to talk?”
Xander sighed and nodded. “Whatever.”
“You gonna start with what you were thinking about just or from the beginning?”
“Well, I was just thinking how…I hate to be on my own. And the only time I ever feel…good, is when I’m with you. And Lindsey.” Xander added.
“That’s good. I’m glad we make you happy.” Angel said.
“No…more than happy. Content and alive and wanted…I just…feel I’m in the way.” Xander said.
“No, you’re not. Never in the way. We both like you…a lot.”
“But you don’t love me…” Xander finished. “Not like you love each other.”
“We don’t…what gave you that idea?” Angel asked awkwardly.
“I’m stupid not blind.” Xander commented.
“Well, we don’t…” “It’s just sex, I know.” Xander interrupted. “I just think if one of you would get your head out of your ass, you’d both see what I do.”
“And what if your head was…up your…ass?” Angel asked, repeating Xander’s random phase.
“Maybe it is…maybe I need to wake up and see I shouldn’t be here.” Xander said, inwardly kicking himself for saying things he knew he didn’t mean.
“But you are. And we want you to stay…as long as you want.” Angel said seriously.
“I don’t deserve this, Angel.” Xander said, hoarsely. “Or you or Lindsey or anything…”
Angel pulled Xander’s arm gently, pulling the boy into an embrace. “God, Xander, you deserve so much more than what happened to you. You deserve to be happy and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.”
Xander stayed in the hug, horrified to feel tears falling down his cheek. Not wanting Angel to see him cry, he hid in the vampire’s arms. “I couldn’t stop her…”
“Neither could Buffy.”
“I didn’t want to…”
That threw Angel. “What?”
Xander tried to find the words but none came out, so he pulled away from Angel, spinning round so he wouldn’t have to face him. “When she…I didn’t stop her…I wanted to.”
Angel understood suddenly. “That’s not your fault. When I was…before I had a soul…I did it to people all the time. The ultimate mind game…make them want you. You don’t know how many people died knowing they wanted what happened to them.”
“That makes it better?” Xander asked bitterly.
“No, it means you’re not alone.” Angel comforted him. “Spike did the same before I killed him. Though I don’t suppose he’d ever tell you that.”
Xander sniffed. “He did?”
“Yeah.”
“You know…it wasn’t just that. Everyone thinks it was, but if it was, I wouldn’t be so bothered. But she did things…to my head, to my body…I was just in so much pain and it felt like someone crushing my brain and my skin felt like it was covered in tiny bugs and…” Xander broke off.
“Spike told me.”
“What?”
“Spike rung two days ago. He told me what happened to him. What she did to him…he knows what happened to you because it happened to him too. And he said he’s never wanted to die so much before in his life. And he’s a vampire. You’re just human Xander, Spike says it’s a miracle you survived it sane. I think that makes you a very strong person.”
“Maybe I was already insane.” Xander commented. “Spike really…said that?”
“He cares about you.”
Xander snorted. “It’s Spike.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought…until I realised how much he’s changed. I don’t know what you’ve all done for him since the chip, but he’s not the Spike I knew.”
Xander smiled and looked back at Angel. “No…he’s our Spike. New and improved.”
Angel smiled back. “Come here.”
Xander walked back into the vampire’s arms, feeling such a massive release from getting it all off his chest. “Thanks…for everything.”
“Anytime.”
“And, I’m glad I stayed.”
“So am I, Xander. So am I.”
“So what now?” Xander asked, hopefully.
“Lindsey moves in, we have far too much sex in between saving the day and live happily ever after.” Angel said.
“Oh…” Xander thought about it and smiled. “I like that.”
“It’s gonna take time, Xander. To deal with things, to face your friends back home…but you know me and Lindsey are always here for you.”
Xander sighed. “Yeah, you, me and him, what a threesome, huh?”
~Fin~
|