Endings

by Adam

"It's no use. He's gone." Willow spoke in defeat.

Alexander Harris, an intricate and original member of the Scooby gang and lover to William the Bloody, had died.

He'd been fighting the disease that had infected him for a month.

One month of unbelievable and excruciating pain.

---

Spike thought back to a few weeks ago.

He'd tried. Xander, his pet, had tried so hard. Struggled so much to survive for him, to stay with him, but in the end it was no use.

The Ancient Magic-typed disease which had infected Xander just under a month ago was something that had been created before the first humans had walked the Earth. Created when the first Full-Demons roamed the planet.

'Bloody demons!' Spike had joked when they first discovered Xander had a Demon-Cold, to which Xander had retorted 'Take a look in the mirror, Fang-Boy.' This was met only with a jokingly annoyed look from his partner.

A few blood-tears rolled down Spike's face which he quickly wiped away. Memories of his mate in screaming agony, blood pouring from Xander's mouth and other horrific ailments had afflicted his sweet pet, and he hadn't been able to do a damn thing to help him.

Spike no longer bothered to wipe away the tears which fell down his face as he sat by Xander's grave.

Willow and Giles and even Anya had worked night and day, struggling to find a cure after days wasted thinking it was only a simple cold. They'd even tried his 'poof' of a Sire to see if he could help. He couldn't.

'No bloody surprise there,' Spike thought.

Despite the fact his strong, brave pet had fought his hardest to stay with his lover, he'd eventually given up shortly after the third week. The pain was just too great for him to bear.

Xander had lost over two stone in those three weeks, his once thick, lush dark-brown hair had thinned, and his sweet chocolate eyes are turned into a dull, lifeless brown, blending with his sallow complexion.

Spike couldn't do it. Over 100 years of being a cold-blooded killer and he couldn't do it.

Xander had asked him, begged him, pleaded with him to tell Giles and Willow it was time to let him go, but Spike couldn't. He just couldn't let go the only bright point in his entire existence. Couldn't let go of the only bright ... He couldn't lose Xander. He was his other half, his mate. Without Xander he was no longer whole.

"Noooooooooooo!" Spike had roared just three days ago when Xander's eyes had closed for the final time; taken their last glance at the world, at his lover.

Spike wouldn't have changed him even if he were able. He had fallen in love with this Xander. The Xander who made fun of his ridges when he was annoyed and his Vamp-face had come out. Teased him about his accent when it was strongest, as soon as he woke up.

He was at Xander's side. Felt the dying pulse, the slowing breath that Xander struggled to take.

Spike had had his share of pain throughout his unlife. From physical too psychological. None had come close to this.

Although not remembering much of what had happened next, Willow had told him about it afterwards.

"You'd 'ave bloody laughed your arse off, pet " Spike said, facing Xander's grave, imagining that Xander was there, sitting with him, joking like they had done so many times before.

(By Xander's side moments after death) "Come on Xander!" Spike began to speak as if Xander's death had not occurred, Xander's skin, which had been pale for a month was already cooling down further, showing the first stages of death.

"Spike." For the first time in over a year Angel, his Sire, spoke to Spike.

Xander was not just another human-death to Angel. Not another case. He was someone who knew him, had accepted him to an extent. Someone who had defended Buffy when he was a killer and someone who had loved and cherished his favourite Childe. Which Angel respected most of all.

Riley, Buffy and Anya had all entered as Spike screamed out. They remained standing just within the mansion doors, giving Spike and Angel as much privacy as they could without leaving and also struggling to hold the emotions they were feeling for the death of their friend in effect.

"Come on pet, wake up ya' lazy git." Spike gently shook Xander. He'd always had to this. Right from when they had began sleeping together. His Xander certainly was not a morning person.

"Spike," Angel rubbed Spike's shoulders gently, ignoring the angry snarl that is evoked.

"Why isn't he waking up?" Spike turned, and looked up at his Sire, seeking answers. His, blue-gold eyes big and round like a puppy. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Angel's stomach lurched. *He doesn't even know he's dead.* "Spike," He began again, "Xander won't be waking up."

Spike turned back towards Xander's continuing-to-decay corpse. His fingers running gently through Xander's now-thin hair like he'd always done.

'Don't be silly, Angelus." Spike said, speaking like a fledgling child. 'He's just asleep. My Xan-pet always like's to stay asleep as long as he can.'

"Spike!" Angel tried once more. "He won't be waking up. He's gone Spike. Look at him. Touch him. He's cold! I-I'm sorry, Spike, but you've lost him."

Blood-Tears began to drop from Spike's eyes. He looked back at his lover, stroked his cheek. Then bent down and kissed Xander's cold, dry lips. It would be the last time.

Those brown eyes, which could show so much pain, yet so much love, were now closed. Never to open again.

The Xander who had taken him in when no one else would. The Xander who had shown him love, and kindness, friendship and joy.

*My Xander* Spike thought with a small-smile. Who would snuggle down with him at night, and be still there, cuddled up with him in the morning, was now gone forever.

Tears flowed from Spike's eyes on to Xander's decaying body, as he ran a cool finger along Xander's jaw, down his smooth neck before pulling back.

His Sire was there for him... held him as Spike wept over the loss of his lover. Spike hated been alone, and Angel was going to make sure that would never happen. Xander had filled that job with merit over the past few years, and now it was Angel's turn.

*Thank you, Xander.* Angel thought, a feeling of pride rushing through him. *For all you did. You thought you were useless. No magic no fighting skills, no special knowledge no nothing. But that's what made you special. You continued the fight with only your will, your inner strength. You loved my Childe, Xander. You loved him and he loved you.*

Now three days later Spike was sat by Xander's grave stone. Which had on it simply:

'To a life which will never be forgotten. You leave more loved one's than you may have thought, Rest, my love. Always, S. '

'I'll never forget you, luv.'" Spike admitted out loud.

Standing, Spike leaned over and kissed the head of Xander's grave stone murmuring a few simple words.

'Luv always, Nummy'

~Fin~