Family
By Velvet Crypt
Chapter SevenThe trip from the Bronze to Giles' was made in silence. Nate and Spike sat in the car while Xander and Lys went inside to get Ellie. Spike stared through the windshield into the night, lost in thought. Nate stared at the vampire's profile in the front seat.
"Uncle Wil?" he asked softly, and even then, he saw the older man start slightly.
"Yeah, Nate?" came the quiet reply.
"Why won't you tell Uncle Xander that you love him?" Silence met his question. It was different than the first companionable silence. This was heavy, fraught with unspoken pain and uncertainty.
Just as Nate thought his uncle wasn't going to answer him, "It's complicated, boy."
"Why? Why does it have to be complicated? He loves you, you love him."
Spike turned in his seat and blue eyes sought brown ones. Nate refused to be cowed by the warning in the cerulean depths. "So, how long have you been in love with him?" He asked defiantly.
The corner of Spike's mouth turned up in a smirk. Ballsy little git.
"What would you like me to say?"
"The truth would be nice."
"The truth."
"Yes."
"You want the truth. You want to know when I realized that the tight feeling in my chest every evening would only dissipate when I heard his goofy voice or saw for myself that he hadn't bee hurt on patrol the night before. You want to know when I realized his touch sent shivers down my spine. You want to know when I decided that I was going to kill Anya the next time she demanded what he couldn't give."
He took an unneeded breath. "You want to know when I decided to snap the neck of the next person who brought that wounded puppy look to his eyes. Or the pages of horrible poetry I have stashed in a hole in my crypt that rave on about his chocolate eyes, and his musical laugh. How about the first time I had a nightmare about him dying that was so real I curled into a ball and trembled on my bed for an hour."
Nate reached a hand out to the vampire. With a wry smile, Spike took it. He looked down at their joined hands. "I've wanted him since the first time Angel offered him to me. I've liked him since the first night I spent in his basement tied up in that awful chair. But you want to know when I realized I loved him. That I can't tell you, Nate. There was no moment of truth, no lightening bolt."
He laughed and rested his cheek on the car seat. "He crept under my skin and into my heart bloody stealthily, he did. So slowly that I feel like I've always loved him. So, I suppose the edited version of the answer to you question would be: I don't know."
Nate smiled, trying not to cry. "He loves you too, Uncle Wil.
"I know, luv." Spike smoothed an unruly curl down on Nate's head and then turned back around in his seat to resume staring out the windshield. "I know."
---
Xander and Spike diligently avoided each other for the next week. Even the briefest of glances seemed to start a raging fire in each of them; a fire that Lys seemed to pay for. Xander was horrified to hear about the channeling at the Bronze and vowed not to do anything that would wrest control of Lys's emotions from her again.
Spike was concerned as well, but he went looking for a solution. He asked Willow and Tara to start working with Lys on control and on blocking. He poured himself into house husbanding while Xander worked overtime at the construction site. He had thought he was doing well until Willow showed up at the house one day while the kids were at school and Xander at work.
He opened the door to a frowning Willow and stepped back from the sunlight to let her in. "Wot's u, Red? Xan and the kids aren't here."
Willow fixed him with an unreadable look. "I know. I came to talk to you."
Spike raised an eyebrow, but gestured towards the kitchen with his chin and then walked in himself. He poured her a cup of coffee and slid a plate of cookies in front of her before taking his own seat across the table from her. She stared at the cup and the cookies for a moment and then giggled.
"Wot's so funny, Red?" Spike glared. She waved a hand in front of her face and shook her head.
"Still working on the domesticated bliss floating around." Spike growled but Willow noticed that it seemed half hearted at best. She apologized by biting into a cookie.
"I'm here to talk about the pentacle." She said around a mouthful of chocolate chip. "I'm a bit concerned with the stability of it." Spike leaned forward, a frown furrowing his brow.
"Are the kids in danger?" He demanded.
Willow hid another smile. "I don't really know." She put the cookie down and took a long measuring look at him. "I'm going to talk about things you probably don't want to hear, Spike. I'd appreciate if you let me finish and give me some honest answers with out getting all defendy-like."
Spike sighed. "Did you all get together and decide to badger me one at a time until I broke?" He sighed again at the bewildered look on her face and nodded. "Normally I'd tell you to piss off. But if it concerns the kids, I'll try not to get defensive. Best you're going to get, Red."
Willow nodded and scooted her coffee out of the way. "We all know you want Xander. And that Xander wants you." She frowned. "Well, maybe everyone but Xander knows that, but you get my point." Spike chuckled and received an answering smile from the witch.
"You have a natural bond with him. You have a bond with all the others too. The energy flows through you all, linking you to each other and forming the pentacle. You are connected to each person through it." Spike nodded and waited for her to continue.
"Normally, the energy would flow smoothly from person to person with no problem. However, it seems to have developed a hiccup." Spike raised an eyebrow.
"A hiccup?"
Willow nodded and scooted to the edge of her chair. I can see it when you are all together and feel it when I'm helping Lys with her shields. She's having a hard time adjusting her shields. The idea was to form a thickened cushion around her, not cutting her off from the bond, just softening up the impact a bit. That works, but there's a problem."
"So, wot's the problem, Red?"
"To be frank, Spike, you and Xander are the problem." Willow stood and began pacing, waving her hands in front of her. "She can't regulate with you and he surging all over the place."
Spike glared. "What the hell does that mean?"
"You want each other. For some reason unknown to anyone else, you won't admit it." Willow returned the glare. "That hurts him, Spike. Every time you are together, you surge emotions through the bond. 'I want him.' 'Stay away from me.' 'I'm guilty.' 'I don't deserve him.' 'I want to fuck him through the floor.'" Spike started at Willow's language.
"You know, those kinds of emotions." She stepped closer to him and poked him in the chest. "Lys can deal with a steady stream of emotions. You two are on some emotional roller coaster from hell and she can't hold the shields against you. Also, you two are the bases of the pentacle. Xander is stability and you are protection. Neither one of you is doing his job. Xander is on the verge of a breakdown and you are so busy protecting yourself that you haven't even noticed that the kids are shouldering the burden of the bond!"
She wound up in his face, inches away from death if he had wanted to sink fang into her. Instead, he blushed and dropped his gaze.
"Sorry, luv. I didn't know." He said huskily.
Willow sighed and then did the unexpected. She threw her arms around Spike's shoulders and hugged him. He tensed for a moment, then Willow felt arms steal around her waist, and she smiled.
"I know, Spike. I also know you would never hurt the kids or Xander intentionally. But you have to talk this out with him." She pulled away to look into his eyes. How strange that an evil killer should have such beautiful, worried, contrite eyes, she thought.
"Please?"
Spike nodded. "Give me some time to think about what needs to be said. I'll do it before the week is up." Willow nodded and smiled.
"Good. And thank you, Spike. So, how do you get your cookies to stay soft like this?"
Chapter EightIn looking at the situation later, neither Xander nor Spike knew which one hit the door first. They only knew that they reached the living room at the same time. Ellie lay on the couch curled into a ball, howling. Lys and Nate knelt by her side. Nate had a hand on Ellie's back, but was looking with concern at Lys, who was holding her head and rocking.
Xander skidded to a halt and dew Lys into his arms. Spike landed on the couch and did the same with Ellie. He glanced at Nate inquiringly. Nate shook his head and ran his fingers through his little sisters hair worriedly.
Xander rocked Lys in his arms, whispering soothing nothings to her. He felt a tingle begin in the back of his head and traverse through his body as though he had the chills. A feeling of terror crept over his flesh, worse for it not being his own, and just as quickly sloughed off of him, dissipating into nothing. As the feeling swept over him, he felt Lys calm considerably. Just as the last of the hair-raising feelings went away, Lys looked up at him in confusion.
"Uncle Xan?" she asked in a tiny voice.
"I'm here, Lys. It'll be okay." He kissed her forehead. "Can you tell us what happened?" Lys looked over at her sister, held in Spike's arms and crying her eyes out.
"We were watching TV and she just started screaming her head off. She wasn't asleep, we weren't watching anything scary. I don't know, Uncle Xan." Her voice started to get frantic again and Xander felt the tingle begin. This time the feeling was panic, but it too sloughed off like water and Lys was back to a semblance of calm.
Spike was having a harder time with Ellie. She wouldn't stop howling and squirming. Finally, Spike pinned her to the couch and shouted her name.
"Ellie, look at me!"
Waterlogged brown eyes met his. The pain in them was immense. He felt a strange twisty feeling in his gut and for a moment, he thought he might fall into them. The moment of vertigo passed and Ellie was silent, staring at him in a vacant way.
"You need to calm down, luv. We're here. Nothing will hurt you now. You need to tell us what happened."
Ellie nodded like an automaton. Spike cautiously let her up. As soon as he broke eye contact with her, she tensed up, and began crying again. This time, they were the tears of a scared 5 year old. They were normal.
Spike rocked her until she stopped crying. "What happened, luv?"
Ellie drew in a shuddering sigh. "I saw bad things happening to us."
Spike and Xander exchanged worried glances. "What kind of bad things, sweetie?" Xander asked.
"I saw Nate. He was in a room with bars on the window. He was yelling bad words and throwing things. I saw Lys. She was standing on the sidewalk. There were lots of different colored lights around her. She was wearing a dress that was really short and lots of paint and she was fat. But only her tummy. I saw me. I was hiding in a box in an alley. I was hungry and scared and lonely."
Tears came to her eyes again and Spike began rocking her again. "I think we should call the witches."
Xander nodded.
---
"So, you think it was a prophetic dream?" Xander summarized after nearly 10 minutes of Willow babble. She looked at him with a 'duh' look on her face.
"That's what I just said." Spike and Xander shared an exasperated smile.
"So what does it mean?" Spike asked. "Why would the bit have a vision about Nate in jail, her living on the street and Lys turning into a loose skirt?"
Willow shrugged, frowning. "I don't know. I really don't know much about visions. But I know someone that does."
Xander groaned. Willow grinned.
"She's our best shot at figuring out what's going on, Xan."
"I know." He sighed. "I just really don't want to spend the next week listening to her slam my clothing choices."
Spike snorted. "How about I start slamming your clothing choices now, and by the time she gets here, you'll be prepared?" The room erupted into welcome laughter as Xander stuck his tongue out at Spike.
---
"So, we are driving to Sunnydale to help Xander's niece." Angel repeated.
"Mmm hmm." Cordelia answered as she changed lanes.
"Because Xander is now the guardian of the girl as well as two others."
"Mmm hmm."
"And Spike lives with them, taking care of the kids."
"Mmm hmm."
"And the gang thinks that they are in love with each other."
"Mmm hmm."
"And they are all tied into this magic circle thing. With each other."
"Mmm hmm."
"And Spike and Xander are in love."
"Mmm hmm."
"And Spike is taking care of them."
"Mmm -"
"Yes, Angel!" Wesley cut in. "Yes, yes, yes. To everything you've asked for the last 30 miles and everything you plan on repeating in the next 30 miles. Do shut up."
Angel obediently quieted, but both Wes and Cordy could tell he kept running the thoughts through his head.
---
When the door rang, Buffy hopped up to answer it as Xander was playing Sorry! with Lys, Willow and Ellie. Tara stayed on the couch where she'd been talking with Buffy and Giles. Nate and Dawn were playing chess on the floor next to the stairs. She grinned when she saw Cordelia and the two girls threw arms around each other.
"Oh, my God!" Cordy squealed. "You're hair is adorable!" Buffy preened and then showed the LA gang into the living room.
"Ah, welcome everyone. I trust the directions were adequate?" Giles asked, standing up. Wes stepped forward and shook his hand.
"Yes, very detailed. Thank you, Rupert."
Angel hung in the doorway looking forlorn. Buffy kicked Xander in the butt and when he looked up, she jerked her head that direction. He nodded and stood.
"Hey, Buffster, take my place?" he asked. Buffy nodded and sat cross-legged on the floor in Xander's spot.
Xander walked to the doorway, a smile forming on his face. Angel watched him warily, trying to figure out what was different about the boy. "Angel, hi!" He held out his hand. "Please, come in. You're welcome here." Angel stared at the proffered hand for a moment. Then his eyes met Xander's and he searched for subtext.
Xander didn't move. Even knowing what Angel was doing. He waited patiently for the vampire to take his hand. After long, careful seconds, Angel's hand slid over the threshold and into Xander's. They shook hands firmly and Xander stepped aside to let him in.
"Can I take your coat?" He asked. "You made good time. Dinner is almost ready." Angel shrugged out of his coat and handed it to the boy. He watched as Xander hung it in a hall closet along with a denim jacket, a windbreaker, a leather coat, a child's pink Powerpuff coat…and a duster. He knew without a doubt to whom it belonged.
Yet, there it was. Sitting next to the Powerpuff coat like it belonged there. He realized Xander was saying something to him and he drug his attention back.
"-in the kitchen. You can go in if you want. Just don't taste test. He hates that." Xander grinned and moved away to hug Cordelia. Looking around the room confirmed who it was that was 'in the kitchen.' He sniffed and followed his nose.
Pushing the door open, his senses were assailed. The smell of lasagna and cheese bread wafted around the room, as well as chocolate. Under the clanging of dishes, he heard a familiar voice humming "My Way" by the Sex Pistols. He spotted a golden head bobbing under the island and in another second, Spike came up holding a huge salad bowl.
He stopped dead as he saw his sire. Gently placing the bowl on the table, he stepped out from behind the island.
"Peaches." He said huskily.
"William." Angel returned, wondering how he could get something caught in his throat when he didn't eat.
"Welcome to our home." Spike grinned. "Want a beer? Or some blood?"
"Blood if you have it." Angel nearly whispered.
"Sure, got plenty. Whelp takes good care of me, he does. Human even." Spike bustled…bustled?…around the kitchen and set a large glass of gleaming ruby liquid on the counter in front of his sire.
"So, Peaches. How you been? Hand me the lettuce out of the fridge will you?" Angel found the vegetable and gingerly set it in front of his childe.
"Fine. Business is good."
"Great! Glad to hear it." Spike began tearing the lettuce up and depositing it into the bowl. Angel shook his head.
"What are you doing, Spike?"
Spike quirked an eyebrow. "Making a salad?"
Angel frowned. "No, not the salad. What are you doing here? In this house? With Xander and three kids, making dinner, acting like you own the kitchen, calling this your home? What are you doing?" Spike met his sire's gaze steadily. Dark eyes. Beautiful. For years he'd happily have drowned in them. Now, all he could think was 'Xander's are prettier.' And he smiled.
"I live here, Angel." He said gently. "Xan asked me to move in to take care of the nibblets. I agreed. I keep up the house, the kids, the bills and meals, cause have you ever seen the whelp cook?" He gave a mock shudder.
"And what do you get out of it?" Angel challenged. Spike looked thoughtful for a moment. Then shrugged.
"Other than some blood and a warm bed to sleep in? I get to share my life with someone again. I get to help Nate with his homework, Lys with boy problems. I get to teach Ellie to read. I have someone to watch Manchester United with and share my worries about the kids with. I belong here, Angel. Please don't try to screw this up for me." Angel was stunned at the quiet pleading in his childe's voice.
"Y-you actually want this?" He said incredulously. Spike laughed.
"Hell, yes I want it. Wouldn't everyone?" Angel smiled.
"No, Spike. Not everyone would. As a matter of fact, 5 years ago, you wouldn't have wanted it either. What happened? Was it the chip?"
Spike went back to shredding lettuce. "Don't know, really, mate. Just felt right, I spose. Maybe it will stop feeling right tomorrow and I'll go back to wreaking havoc. But for now, I'm happy."
Angel grasped his childe's face between his hands and searched his eyes. What he found made him smile. He leaned forward and gave Spike a gentle kiss on the forehead, then stepped away.
"So what else goes in this salad of yours?"
---
The kids cleaned off the table, including Dawn and Ellie, and the Scoobies and the LA crew flopped on the couches and chairs in the living room.
"Spike, you are a bastard." Cordelia groaned. "I have no idea how I'm going to fit in the clothes I brought."
Spike laughed. "I'm sure you'll manage, princess. If not, Buffy can always let you borrow something."
He grunted as a pillow slammed into his head. He pulled it away to find the Slayer glaring at him.
"That's for the fat joke." She growled and made to throw another at him if he opened his mouth again.
He just looked innocently at her.
"So, where are you all staying?" Willow asked, smiling.
Wesley pulled his attention away from his former Slayer and her bleached bane.
"We haven't actually looked yet. I suppose we should go find something. It's getting late."
"Oh, no!" Xander leaned forward. "You can all stay here. We have plenty of room. Ellie can bunk with Lys and Cordy can have her room. You and Angel can stay in our room, Wes. We'll sleep on the couch."
Wesley blinked rapidly. Spike grinned.
"There are two beds, Watcher." He said.
"Oh. Well…oh! Then, if you're sure we won't be a bother?"
"Of course not!" Xander assured him. "No bother at all."
---
No, no bother at all, Xander thought, mentally smacking himself. Just that you now have to spend all night curled up next to the man you're in love with and try not to do anything even remotely sexual for fear it will leak out to the kids.
He sighed and gently pounded his head against the wall in the bathroom. Spike was already out there and in bed. In bed. Wearing next to nothing. In bed. Where I'm going to be in a minute. With him. In bed. Aarrgghh! He thumped his head one more time for good measure and then, taking a deep breath, walked out of the bathroom.
What the hell were you thinking, Xander, Spike groaned into the pillow. A whole night next to you; feeling your warmth, your breath, hearing your heartbeat right next to me. I nearly jumped you when you were half a room away. What the hell am I going to do with you half a foot away? He listened to the strange thumping coming from the bathroom, and groaned again.
Xander finally came out, and Spike took the coward's way out. He pretended to be asleep. He felt the bed sink as Xander climbed in and a draft under the covers as the man pulled them up over himself. They lay in silence for long minutes. Finally, Xander turned over.
"Spike, I know you're awake." He whispered.
"Yeah. What you need, Xan?" Came the weary reply.
"This is really hard for me. I just wanted to apologize if I wind up groping you in the middle of the night or end up snuggling with you when you wake up." Spike smiled into the darkness and turned over himself.
"I know, Xan. I think it's bloody hard too. And I won't mind at all if you do any of those things."
Xander smiled sleepily at him. "I love you, Spike."
Spike brushed a curl off of Xander's forehead. "I know, pet." He smiled back and brushed a whisper of a kiss across Xander's lips before pulling the boy into his arms. It wasn't really so difficult to fall asleep after all.