In This Together

by RubyWisp

Part Two

Once again, Xander awoke slowly, with the feel of cool sheets and cool vampire both wrapped around him. This time though, he didn't mind at all. He lay quietly, thinking of everything that had happened in the last 24 or so hours.

((Claimed. Heh. I belong to Spike.))

((Yeah. An evil, soulless, chipless demon. Good choice.))

((Who the hell are you? Buffy? Shut up already.))

((Speaking of Buffy...what about her? You think Spike's not gonna want to bag his third Slayer?))

((He wouldn't...))

((...))

((OK, he would. But he won't.))

((?))

Xander groaned.

"What's the matter, pet?" Spike asked.

Xander jerked, surprised. "Didn't know you were awake."

Xander could feel the movement of Spike's jaw against his head as Spike grinned. "Without the breathin' it's kinda hard to tell, innit?"

"Yeah." Xander was silent, thinking.

He felt Spike sigh. "What is it, whelp?"

Xander chewed his bottom lip. "What's what?" He yelped as Spike pinched his arm sharply. "What was that for?"

"Lyin' to me - 'what's what'. I can practically hear the voices in your head arguing." Xander turned to look at Spike, surprised. "Didn't think I knew about that, did you?" Xander shook his head. Spike smirked and asked, "Well, what is it?"

"Buffy," Xander said.

"Oh."

Xander waited silently.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said.

"Fine, what? What fine?" Xander asked. He didn't think Spike could really be saying what he hoped Spike was saying.

"I won't go after her." For now, Spike thought. He kept that little addendum to himself.

"No way." Xander twisted around and looked at Spike in disbelief. "It's that easy? You're not going to try to kill her?"

"Nope," Spike said, enjoying Xander's confusion.

Xander's eyes narrowed. "I don't believe you." He yelped again as Spike pinched him a second time. "Hey! Stop that! I was telling the truth - I *don't* believe you."

"I know." Xander began rubbing his sore arm, and Spike tried not to smile. "I pinched you this time for callin' me a liar."

"I didn't -"

"You didn't believe me, either." Spike pushed Xander's hand away and began rubbing the spot where he'd pinched Xander's arm. "I said I wouldn't go after her and I won't. You have to learn to trust me. 'Sides - I've been able to hurt her for months. And she's still alive," Spike pointed out, feeling virtuous.

"What? What about the chip? And I do trust you." Xander protested, enjoying the feel of Spike's hands on him, even if it was just his arm.

"Chip stopped workin' 'gainst her. Dunno why, just did. Back in November some time. Mebbe before that." Spike stopped rubbing and made as if to pinch Xander again.

"Don't!" Xander said, yanking his arm away. "I do trust you - I do! It's just that I - well, I guess I only trust you with some things," he admitted. "Like not killing me, or - " Xander frowned, thinking. Then he blushed. ((Damn. Wish I'd stop doing that.))

Spike laughed. "Or when you're naked underneath me?" He chuckled as Xander sucked in his breath, eyes glazing over. Spike shook him lightly. "Hey - no gettin' distracted now. You need to get up and eat. I'm tired of listenin' to your stomach growl."

Xander shook his head. "Wha - huh? Oh." He licked his lips. "Food. Yeah. Um, maybe - "

Spike shoved Xander away. "Go. Up. Shower. Eat. Then more shaggin'."

"But - "Xander began, pouting. ((Maybe...))

"Don't even try it. You're noisy and stinky. Off with you." Spike threw the blankets off of Xander and shoved him, hard. Xander slid off the sheets and onto the floor, landing with a thump.

"Ow! Hey!" Xander sat up and glared at Spike over the edge of the bed. "I think I liked you better when you couldn't hurt me."

Spike picked up a pillow and thumped Xander on the back of the head with it. "Yeah, right. S'why we've been shaggin' for months now." He raised one eyebrow in Xander's direction. "You were sayin'?"

Standing up, Xander said, "You were too busy boffing the Slayer anyway." He picked the pillow up from the floor and tossed it back at Spike.

Spike caught it and held it for a moment. Looking at Xander seriously, he said, "'Course, you weren't gay then."

"I'm not gay!"

Spike looked at Xander standing naked next to the bed. Looked down at his own naked body. Back at Xander. One eyebrow went up, and -

"I'm going to take a shower," Xander said as he stalked out of the bedroom.

He heard Spike laugh just as the pillow hit him on the back of the head.

---

Spike lay in bed until he heard Xander close the bathroom door and start the water for his shower. Walking over to the chair that he'd laid his clothes on the night before, Spike grabbed his jeans and slid them on. Not bothering to button them up completely, he kicked the growing pile of laundry out of his way as he left the bedroom.

Taking his pack of smokes and his lighter off the small telephone table next to the bedroom where he'd left them earlier that day, Spike opened the curtains and the sliding-glass door and went out on the balcony. He lit a cigarette and put the pack and the lighter in his front pocket. Cigarette in his mouth, he leaned against the railing and rested his arms on it. He stood there for a long while, looking out at the lights of Sunnydale, listening to the sounds the town made as it settled in for the night, smoking and thinking about the last few days.

Spike was immensely pleased with himself. He was free from his artificial and unwelcome conscience for the first time in years, he'd had his fill of blood ((and then some)) - straight from the source, no less - while he was out of town, and he had Xander. He smiled widely - a genuine smile, one most people never got to see. ((Bloody hell. Talk about your 'unexpected developments'.)) He inhaled deeply and then blew the cigarette smoke out slowly, watching it curl up and around before it dissipated. ((Didn't think the boy had it in him.)) Spike laid his arms back down on the balcony rail, letting the cigarette dangle from his fingertips as he thought about the man he'd claimed.

Spike hadn't been lying earlier when he'd said that he liked Xander alive. Unlike the Watchers, Spike knew that quite a bit of a person's personality stayed with him when he was turned. Dru was as mad today as she'd been the day Angelus killed her. Spike had heard the story a hundred times if he'd heard it once - how Angelus had carved through Dru's mind, piece by piece; slowly and surely creating his own twisted version of a living sculpture before he made her his Childe.

Angelus himself bore more than a passing resemblance to Liam - Spike knew that the human his Sire had once been was fond of whiskey, women, pleasure and getting his own way in all things - not much difference there, as far as he could see.

Spike remembered Dalton and grinned. A quiet, bookish vampire - he wondered how the Council of Wankers would explain that if they knew about him.

Angel - Spike stopped and inhaled one last time from his cigarette before tossing it over the railing - well, Angel was a poof and a great git, no two ways about it. He didn't think that had anything to do with being a vampire, since Angel hadn't been a real vamp in over a century, to Spike's way of thinking. Angel was just a bloody idiot. With bloody stupid hair.

Spike ran his hand through his own hair, frowning to himself. He was all too aware of the much-too-large-for-his-liking remnant of William the Bloody Awful Poet that lived inside of him, in spite of Spike's best efforts to obliterate any trace of him. But be that as it may, a lot of things did change when a person became a vampire.

Spike knew Xander would lose his conscience and his inhibitions. The man that risked his life to help save the world countless times over the last six years would be replaced by a demon who would like nothing more than fighting and feeding. And fucking.

Spike grinned and shook his head once, remembering Xander lying beneath him, skin flushed and sweaty and oh-so-deliciously-hot, eyes rolled back in his head as Spike fucked him and fucked him until they were both insane with it. Spike growled softly as he remembered the taste of Xander's blood, warm and fresh and salty sweet in his mouth.

He was goin' to turn the boy, all right. Spike had big plans for Xander - he wanted to see what kind of havoc Xander could wreak, wanted to witness the dark beauty of the pain and destruction that delightfully twisted mind would create with all of Xander's enthusiasm and none of his better impulses. ((Can't believe the soddin' idiot thinks I'm gonna let him be cursed. Like one broodin' guilty vampire in this world isn't one too many.))

But Spike thought he'd enjoy this Xander for a while too - he'd never claimed a human before, might as well see how it went. He'd told Xander the truth that afternoon - Spike did like him now, laughing and silly and caring about everyone and everything around him. He'd enjoy it for a while; let Xander have his fun. Do silly stupid human things with the boy. ((Maybe take him around a bit, show him a thing or two.)) Spike thought Xander might lose some of his big-eyed wonder, some of his joy in discovering new things, once he died. You never could tell. Spike kind of liked that in Xander, wanted to see a bit more of it before it disappeared, if it did.

Spike listened as a couple of girls walked down the street, passing near the apartment building. He could hear their inane chatter as they talked about boys and clothes and school, dangerously oblivious to the perils of being out in the dark in Sunnyhell.

((Daft chits. If it weren't for the fact that I'm on the third bloody floor, they'd be dinner and dessert.))

((Oh...))

((Fuck!))

Spike hadn't thought about Xander's reaction to his feeding again. He'd been too caught up in everything going on - his now-permanently-malfunctioning chip, being able to hunt and feed for the first time in years; Xander himself - to stop and think about the details of their new arrangement. ((Bloody buggerfuckin' goddamn it all to hell.)) Xander would never sit by quietly while Spike killed people, he knew without a doubt.

((Probably not even the worthless ones.))

Spike picked up the empty juice glass that Xander had forgotten on the table and hurtled it against the wall of the building next to theirs, furious. The glass shattered loudly, the glittering shards of the glass and the remnants of Xander's Pop-Tart wrapper showering down to the grass below. Spike closed his eyes and gripped the railing tightly with both hands, drawing in deep unneeded breaths as he fought to gain control of himself.

Spike was so busy trying to keep himself from jumping off the balcony and going after those girls, just to prove he could, that he didn't hear a thing when Xander came outside. Didn't notice Xander was there until Spike felt Xander's warm arms wrapped around his waist.

Xander pulled Spike close, feeling the tension in the blond's body, wondering what had happened while he was in the shower. "You all right?" he asked, concerned.

Spike breathed in deeply one last time and made a concentrated effort to relax. He turned to face Xander and leaned back against the railing, pulling Xander with him. Burying his face in Xander's neck, he inhaled deeply, revelling in the smell and the warmth of his boy. Spike grinned slightly at that, imagining Xander's reaction if he were to hear Spike say it. ((Have to remember to do that sometime. My boy.)) He grinned wider.

"What's the joke, Spike? And why were you so tense just a minute ago?" Xander asked, bewildered by Spike's lightning-fast mood change.

Spike jerked his head once in the direction of the girls' fading voices. "Hungry," he said shortly. He closed his eyes and waited for Xander to understand.

There it is, Spike thought, as he felt Xander take a deep breath and hold it for a moment before exhaling slowly. ((Mine. M'not lettin' him go. Don't bloody well care if he likes it or not.)) Unknowingly, Spike growled. He looked up when he felt Xander startle and smelled fear. Spike rubbed Xander's back lightly through his T-shirt. ((Why'd he get dressed?)) "Relax, I'm not gonna eat you," he said, quirking up a corner of his mouth in a half-smile.

Xander would not be comforted. "No - just them," he said, his voice expressionless.

Spike stilled his hands and let them fall to the waistband of Xander's jeans, hooking his thumbs through the empty belt loops. "Not them either. They're gone."

Xander pulled away from Spike and leaned against the wall. Folding his arms across his chest, his face impassive, he said "Guess it was their lucky day, huh?"

Spike exploded. "Yeah, it was. It was the luckiest day of their fucking lives, Xander!" he shouted, clenching and unclenching his fists, barely maintaining control. "What in the bloody hell do you want from me? I'm not the Scoobies' goddamn pet vampire anymore, boy!" His eyes gleamed, yellow mingling with blue. "You know why they're still alive?" he yelled. Xander frowned and shook his head once. "Because of you! Because - " Spike whirled and drove his fist into the nearby wall. Pain exploded in his hand as a finger broke with the impact. He hung his head, the anger draining out of him. "Because of you," Spike repeated quietly.

Xander stood up straight. He didn't know what to say. ((Am I supposed to be glad here? Admire his restraint? What?)) Wishing Spike had come complete with instruction manual, he said, "Spike - "

"Know how many times I've not killed just because somebody wouldn't like it, pet?" Cradling his injured hand, Spike lifted his head and looked at Xander. His eyes solidly blue again, he said, "Once."

"Spike -" Xander began again.

"No." Spike interrupted and began moving toward the door. "Don't want to talk about it. Not now." He stopped just inside the apartment. "I need to take care of this and we both need to eat." Spike grimaced, thinking of the pig's blood in the refrigerator. "Go make yourself some dinner, I'll just be a few," he said, and walked off to the bathroom to take care of his hand.

---

Xander stayed where he was for a long moment, trying to get a grip on what had happened in the last few minutes. He knew Spike was moody, but he'd never seen anything quite like that roller-coaster ride of emotions from the vampire before tonight.

(('Once'?)) Xander whistled softly as the realization hit him that Spike had never restrained himself before for anybody.

((Except me.))

((Wow.))

Xander thought maybe he should feel something other than pleased, but he couldn't. Spike hadn't killed someone - well, two someones - just because he knew Xander wouldn't like it. He didn't bother trying to tell himself that it was because Spike was worried Xander would leave - Xander knew he wouldn't, even if he should, and he was pretty sure Spike knew it too. Of course, Spike probably didn't care whether or not Xander would want to leave. Xander didn't think he'd get very far, even if he felt like trying.

There was a time, not very long ago, when Xander would have convinced himself otherwise. Pretended he didn't see the ramifications of what he was doing with Spike; denied, even to himself, that what he'd done today was agree to spend the rest of his life with a vampire who had every intention of killing him before too long. Thinking of Anya and the disaster that was their wedding, he reminded himself that denial hadn't worked real well. ((Might as well try something different. Maybe I'll have better luck.))

Xander's stomach growled loudly just then. He remembered that he hadn't eaten anything except Pop-Tarts and Cheetos all day. ((Guess I better go get something to eat.)) He entered the living room, pulling the screen door closed behind him, just as Spike was leaving the bathroom. He nodded at Spike's hand, noting the improvised splint on one finger. "Better?"

"Yeah. Broke m'finger though," Spike said. "You just comin' in to eat now?"

Xander ducked his head sheepishly. "Yeah. I was thinking about some stuff."

Spike grunted but didn't say anything. Neither man wanted to talk about what had happened outside yet. As if by mutual agreement they went into the kitchen silently and began preparing their meals. Spike pulled a couple of bags of blood from the refrigerator and threw them in the microwave to heat. Xander searched the refrigerator and the cupboards before grabbing a package of hot dogs from the freezer.

Spike stopped him. "What the hell are you doing?" He grabbed his oversized mug from the cupboard as the microwave stopped.

"Making dinner, what does it look like?" Xander asked, trying to rip the plastic open. He opened a drawer and took out a knife so he could cut it instead.

"You're not eating that crap. You need some real food," Spike said as he opened one of the blood bags and poured it into his mug.

"It is real food!" Xander protested. At Spike's look, he said, "Well, it is! Highly processed, but it's real."

"Well eat somethin' not highly processed then." Spike picked up his mug and made a face at the smell of pig's blood before starting to drink. "Won't kill you to eat something good once in a while. Told you last night - you're gonna take care of yourself now that you're mine." He smirked when Xander opened his mouth to argue. ((So predictable. But so fun.))

"You can't tell me what to eat! That's not fair!" Xander said hotly. He started to add something more, then stopped as Spike quirked one eyebrow, mug full of pig's blood at his lips. His meaning was clear - if he could drink this, the least Xander could do was...

"Oh, fine." Xander threw the hot dogs back into the freezer and slammed the door. Spike grinned to himself and drained his mug quickly, shuddering slightly at the taste. ((Forgot how bad it tasted.)) He opened the other bag and poured it while Xander looked for something decent to eat.

Xander emerged from the refrigerator, triumphantly bearing a steak and a potato. "Does this meet with your approval, Bossy One?"

Spike snorted and nodded. "Sure, whelp. Just be sure you cook 'em first." He ducked Xander's swat and grabbed the empty blood bags and tossed them in the trash. Spike went into the living room and settled himself on the couch. He picked up the remote and turned on the TV.

Xander moved around the kitchen making his dinner, while Spike watched TV. Before too long, his dinner was ready and he came to sit next to Spike on the sofa while he ate. "What we watchin'?" he asked, his mouth full of microwaved baked potato slathered in butter and sour cream.

"Not a damn thing," Spike said disgustedly. "80 channels, been flippin' through 'em for the last 20 minutes, and can't find a bleedin' thing to watch."

"Tuesday's a bad night for TV," Xander said. "There's nothing on."

"I noticed." Spike paused for a moment on the The Learning Channel, which was airing 'Trauma: Life in the E.R.' He set the remote down. "This looks good."

Xander gulped as he caught a glimpse of somebody's lung. "Can we not watch this while I'm eating?"

"What's wrong? You've seen worse than that," Spike said. "'Sides, I like it."

"Of course you do. It's bloody and disgusting and involves severely injured people." Xander leaned over and reached for the remote, but Spike got it first. "I, on the other hand, am trying to eat my dinner. And keep it down." He grabbed again for the remote, but Spike kept it away from him. "C'mon Spike - change the channel."

"In a minute," Spike said. "Gimme a mo'. Don't watch."

Xander sighed and bent his head to his plate, eating quickly. He hadn't realized how hungry he was. ((I'm glad Spike made me eat something good. Not that I'll tell him that.))

Just as Xander was finishing his steak, someone knocked on the door. Spike and Xander looked at each other for a second and then started moving. Spike left the TV on, but set the remote on the coffee table before going to his room to grab a clean shirt, buttoning up his jeans the rest of the way as he went. Xander put his almost-empty plate in the kitchen sink, closed the bedroom door and ran his hands through his hair before answering the door.

"Willow, hi!" Xander said when he opened the door and saw who was on the other side. "Hey Buffy." The two girls didn't answer for a moment. "What? Something wrong?"

"That's kinda what we were wondering, Xander," Willow said, her face worried. "You missed the Scooby meeting. And - and then we tried to call, but your phone just kept ringing and your machine wasn't picking up." She looked at Buffy who was still looking at Xander, obviously concerned. "And Buffy said you were Mr. Wiggy last night, so I wanted to come and see you."

"I'm fine, Wills," Xander reassured her. "Really, I am!" he said when Buffy gave him a sceptical look. "I know I was a little weird yesterday - "

"A little? You were the King of Weird, Xander." Buffy said. "We were worried. We still are."

Xander sighed and opened the door all the way. "Come in, ladies, come in. I can see that your worries on the state of the Xan-man won't be laid to rest with anything less than a complete reconnaissance."

The girls entered the apartment, Willow heading straight for the telephone, Buffy for the recliner she'd sat in last night. "Xander - your phone's unplugged. That's why it wasn't working," Willow said as she plugged the cord back into the phone jack. She stood up and asked, "Why was your phone unplugged?"

Xander shrugged and then looked surprised as Spike walked out of his bedroom. He was fully dressed, right down to his boots and his duster.

((How the hell did he do that? His stuff was in my room!))

"I unplugged it," Spike said. "I was tired - didn't want to listen to the bleedin' thing all day." Spike picked up the remote and clicked the TV off, then grabbed his empty mug from the table and went to wash it and put it away.

Buffy looked at Xander, clearly expecting him to yell at Spike for unplugging the phone. Willow was looking at him with the same expectant look on her face, and Xander realized that three days ago, he *would* have bitched at Spike for doing something like that.

((This is going to be harder than I thought.))

Xander turned to Spike, hoping he'd understand and not be angry later with Xander for what he was about to do. Spike was leaning against the kitchen counter, arms folded, legs crossed, smirking. Oh, he understood - he looked like he was going to enjoy it, in fact.

((Bastard.))

"Listen, Blondie - you can't just go around unplugging people's phones whenever you want! What if there's an emergency?" Xander bit the inside of his mouth, trying not to laugh. It didn't help at all that Spike looked like he was either going to burst into laughter himself or start blowing kisses in Xander's direction.

Xander tried to summon up some irritation, but the good food and the good sex and the look in Spike's eyes as they played their little game made it impossible. "Don't do it again, got it?" he finished lamely, turning to face Willow and Buffy. He rolled his eyes and shrugged as if to say, "What can you do? It's Spike." The girls nodded understandingly.

"Where were you this weekend anyway, Spike?" Buffy asked. "Xander said last night he hadn't seen you in a couple of days."

((Oh God. Please don't let her tell him I was worried. Pleasepleaseplease. I'll be hearing about it forever.
Literally.))

Spike shrugged then dug his cigarettes and lighter out of his jeans pocket. Lighting a smoke, he said, "Poker. You remember," he told Buffy. "Or maybe you don't. You were pretty well pi -"

"I remember," Buffy said, blushing. She didn't want Willow and Xander to know how drunk she'd gotten that night.

"I was on a roll." Spike put the cigarette pack and lighter away in a duster pocket. "Drinking, kittens - a bloody good weekend. Came back when I got bored." He shrugged, put the lit cigarette in his mouth and settled back against the counter.

"What happened to your hand?' Willow asked, seeing the splint on Spike's finger.

"Probably got caught cheating and someone broke his finger for it," Buffy said.

Spike nodded his head. "Right in one, Slayer," he said, avoiding Xander's gaze.

"Figures." Buffy snorted.

"Is it - are you gonna be OK, Spike?" Willow asked, concerned.

Spike looked at the witch, surprised. "'Course I am, Red. Vampire healin' an' all that. Be right as rain in a few days." (('Specially if I can get some fresh blood in me.)) Spike figured the same thought had just occurred to Xander, judging from the unhappy look on his face. Spike shrugged.

"Slayer - you come lookin' for help or what? I feel like bustin' some heads tonight." Spike took the cigarette out of his mouth and exhaled. "Or you just here to make sure I got home safely?"

Buffy stood up. "Oh yeah, Spike. I was so worried about you. Not." She turned to Willow and Xander who had sat down next to each other on the couch. "You two wanna come or are you going to stay here and play catch-up?"

Willow looked at Xander with a smile. "Stay? We haven't had much talky time lately. I miss you."

Xander looked at Buffy and Spike, who was still avoiding looking at him. He turned to face Willow again. "Sure thing, Will. I don't feel much like getting my ass kicked tonight anyway." He flashed her his biggest, goofiest smile and added, "We can have ice cream and soda and lots of Willow-Xander bondage." He blushed and back-pedalled. "That went to a place it totally wasn't meant to go."

Willow and Buffy smiled and Spike laughed outright. "I think that's our cue to leave, Slayer." He winked at Xander when the girls weren't looking and walked out.

"I'll make sure she gets home safe, Buffy," Xander said.

Buffy nodded and waved goodbye at her friends as she followed Spike out the door.

Xander turned to Willow and smiled. He scooted closer to her and pulled her to him in a one-armed hug. "So...tell me about things. How've you been? How's school? Have you talked to Tara lately?" He watched her face light up as she began talking about Tara excitedly. Sighing contentedly, he put his feet up on the table. Settling back against the sofa, he prepared for a night full of much-missed Willow-babble.

Without bondage.

 

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