Paternal

By Angel Jade

As perceptive and careful as they come, Angel had messed up big time. Taking on more than he could handle was just like him. He could have run to his slayer for help, but pride got the better of him and now look at him. Silly ponce deserves all he gets. But he's gonna get a lot more than he had bargained for. I promise you that.

The last kick to the stomach thrust the souled vampire into blackness, a welcome change from the pain. His last thoughts were of Buffy and whether he would see her again. He was so sure they would kill him when they were done with his weak and badly beaten body. The vicious demons hadn't held back and had overpowered Angel in minutes. He hadn't even managed to kill one of them. Taking on seven Vsyak demons wasn't insane, it was suicide. Each one was twice the size of Angel, with bulging muscles, razor claws and bad breath. He was lucky to have survived as long as he did. Once the demons were sure he wouldn't get up, they left him, bleeding and beaten in the middle of the alleyway as it rained heavily, and returned to their hideout, just outside of Sunnydale. The moment they had left, Spike emerged from the dark shadows he had watched from. Disappointed they hadn't killed him, but intensely happy of his sire's current situation, he walked over to the heap on the floor. Not bothered by the beating rain overhead, Spike crouched down and cocked his head to the side, surveying the damage.

"That'll teach you, you big poof." Spike said, snidely at the unconscious vampire. He wondered whether he should rip his head off or stake him. Looking around, Spike saw a definite lack of wooden stakes. "Heads it is then." He muttered to himself. He went to reach down, ready to wrench his sires head off brutally, but paused as Angel regained consciousness. The vampire seemed half-dead…or half-undead.

Angel clenched his eyes, closing them further, as the pain hit him. He was vaguely aware of someone with him, despite his lack of vision.

"William." He whispered, dazed and most defiantly confused. Spike retracted his hands in shock. Angel hadn't called him William for a very long time. Before Spike could think of some witty comment to make, Angel slipped further into unconsciousness. Spike didn't move, thrown by hearing his own name come from Angel's lips. He remembered vividly being called William by Angel. Spike had used to use his sire's name calling as a signal to his present mood. If Angel called him `William', he was in a good mood. `Spike' was when he was in a bad mood and `boy'…he didn't want to think about those memories. Spike felt a powerful sick feeling in his stomach take over. He wasn't going to let it be quick. Angel didn't deserve to die quickly. Spike was going to make sure that Angel died the way he deserved to die. Very slowly. He reached down and lifted his Sire in his arms. He was going to pay for the things he had done. Spike would see to that.

The things he had done in the past made me the man I am today. But I sure as hell aren't thankful for it. Back then I would have done anything for him. But now? Now he can go back to hell for all I care.

Angel lay asleep all day, chained to Spikes bed. He'd had nowhere else to put him, so he had decided to use the bed. Considering their past, it was quite appropriate. Spike watched him sleep, reminiscing, recalling, remembering…reliving the past. Spike sensed the sun set long before it arrived. He would be hungry very soon, so Angel had better wake up before then. Spike had no intention of missing his sire's face when he saw what he'd done to him. The internal demon that resided in the souled vampire alerted Angel of the time, and his eyes opened slowly.

"Morning, sleepy head." Spike mocked, sitting on a chair not so far from Angel's head. Angel didn't pull at his bonds; he didn't seem to even notice them. He just grunted as he remembered what had happened to him. "Nothing to say? That's good, `cause I have lots to say to you."

"Spike." Angel muttered, as if they were friends.

"Yeah, it's me." Spike said, impatiently. He wondered if Angel had taken one too many hits on the head. He looked a little spaced.

"I…dreamt you found me." Angel murmured, weakly.

"No you didn't. You saw me find you."

"Why…"Angel stopped to coax his throat into making sound. "Why did you…?"

"Bring you here? Save your life? Not kill you?" Spike listed. "Pick one."

"I…" Angel was at a loss of what to say. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet, peaches." Spike advised. "I didn't bring you here for tea and scones, you know." Spike watched Angel look around the room, barely moving his head.

"Then why did you?" Angel asked softly, still in a lot of pain.

"Thought I might kill you." Spike said, bluntly.

"Then why am I tied to a bed?" He asked, a slightly amused smile crossing his face. Spike clenched his jaw at his sire's lack of concern for his position.

"I have to get something off my chest. Is that okay with you?" He asked, trying to keep the annoyed tone from his voice.

"Go ahead. I'm not going anywhere." Angel said. "You could even untie me. I think every bone in my body has been broken. I won't try and stop you."

"Nah. Think I'll keep you tied. You look so good in bondage." Spike said sarcastically. "Ah! Bondage. Good place to start the conversation, don't you think. Now, where shall I start…?"

"You know I can't take any of it back." Angel interrupted, sadly.

"So many things to choose from…" Spike said, ignoring him.

"But I am sorry." Angel whispered.

"Sorry?!" Spike exploded, standing from his chair. "Sorry. You know, that's the first time I've heard you say that and mean it. But you know what? I don't give a shit. Think of all the things you did to Dru and me. Think of them and then tell me how sorry can make it all better."

"It can't." Angel said, calmly.

"I know that." Spike yelled.

"Yelling at me won't change it, but if you need to get it out of your system…" Angel began. That did it. Spike had already had enough of his sire's relaxed attitude. Time for him to be afraid. Spike pulled out a stake and moved towards the restrained vampire. Angel simply watched him, unafraid. His eyes were full of sorrow and regret…but not fear, nor anger and that pissed Spike off.

"When I rape and kill your girlfriend, do you want me to pass a message on?" He asked, sadistically.

"What hurt you more?" Angel asked. Spike blinked, confused.

"What?"

"What hurt you more? What I did to you or that I left you?" Angel asked, hitting a nerve. Spike walked away, still severely pissed, but unable to stake him. "That wasn't me, Spike." Angel insisted. "That was Angelus, remember. You can take it out on me all you like but I can't make it go away."

"Yeah, but you can make my life more entertaining." Spike sneered, still facing away from him. "Watching you die will be the most fun I've had in ages."

"You were always my favourite. You made me proud." Angel told him.

Spike remained silent for a moment, composing himself, before spinning round.

"You hated me. You told me I was pathetic everyday of my existence and then you took out all your frustrations on me." Spike yelled.

"That was the demon, Spike."

"Yeah, go on. Blame it on your fucking demon." Spike accused. "You're no better than your fucking demon, you know that? Now your just a demon with a conscience."

"Then I guess that makes me better." Angel retorted.

"Why? Cause you can brood, feel guilty and brood some more?" Spike asked.

"I don't cause pain and death everywhere I turn." Angel replied.

"Except for when you fuck Buffy and decide to steal my girlfriend." Spike reminded him.

"I'm sorry Spike." Angel frowned as he tried to move and his whole body shook with pain.

"Sorry won't bring Dru back." Spike said.

"I know that."

"Then why keep saying it?"

"Because I hate that you blame me. I hate that I did all this. And most of all I hate that I've hurt you."

"Yeah, because you wouldn't stake me if you got the chance." Spike muttered, the anger gone from his voice. Angel could see he was finally getting through to him.

"William…"

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't call me that." Spike warned.

"Its your name." Angel reminded him.

"So what? Yours is fucking Liam and I don't call you that." Spike said, irritated.

"So stake me." Angel said. Spike looked over at him. "Go on. I deserve it. And who better than one of the people I've hurt the most."

Spike didn't move. He wanted to stake the son of a bitch so badly but he couldn't let Angel die that way. He wanted him to be afraid.

"You don't get off that easy, mate." Spike smirked. "I have fun, first."

"Since when." Angel asked, innocently. "You never liked doing it that way, if I remember correctly."

"I don't. Not one for long and boring intros, me. But something deep inside of me…really wants to see you beg for a change." Spike smiled, and then started to walk away.

His words got to me, I won't deny it. But I wasn't beaten yet. I had so much pent up anger and so much to say…I wasn't going to let him die before I'd had a chance for a little displacement. If Dru could see me now… Spike walked along the pavement of Sunnydale, lost in thought. He'd left Angel alone, so he could feed, but the hunt had turned into a rather long walk. He had so much to think about. After feeding on a young man who had crossed his path, Spike was no longer hungry, which left his mind open for all the thoughts that popped into his head. He was still sore over Angel's rather calm reaction to his plan. Perhaps it was the concussion, but Angel just wasn't afraid of him. Not afraid of what Spike could do. Spike realised that he wasn't at all shocked about Angel's lack of worry. He was shocked about his lack of anger. If Spike had done this to Angelus, he would have yelled and pulled at his chains, throwing every threat and insult he could. But Angelus wasn't Angel. Spike knew that, even if it meant not being able to blame Angel for Angelus' crimes. And yet he still did.

"Spike." The slayers voice filled the air. She was not amused to see him wondering the night.

"Piss off, slayer." Spike hissed and tried to walk past. "Not in the mood."

"Excuse me?" Buffy looked at him. "Since when did your mood make the slightest bit of difference to me?" He ignored her and kept walking.

"Hey!" She called out, following him, brandishing a stake.

"I'm not in the mood to fight you, unless you want to stand there and let me bite you, so piss off." Spike warned her. She made a feeble attempt at staking Spike, just to get him into the game. Strange that she wanted him to fight back, but she was miffed at his behaviour.

"What's up with you?" She asked. "Usually can't get rid of you. Now look. What's the matter? Dru whoring around with even more demons?" She didn't see his fist connect with her face but she sure as hell felt it.

"Why can't Angel be as fucking annoying as you?" He muttered, walking away again.

"Angel?" Buffy perked up. She hadn't seen him for a while and was a little worried. "What about Angel?"

"Nothing, slayer. Just run along and do your job." Spike dismissed her.

"My job is staking you." She reminded him, struggling to keep up.

"Then take the night off, you annoying excuse for a being." Spike walked away, leaving Buffy on her own.

"Well…maybe I don't want to stake you. You're not even worth it." She replied, pathetically. She watched him leave her sight. "Maybe I should take the night off."

It killed me to be in such a predicament. I had no idea what I was doing and I was loosing control of the situation, fast. I needed to regain control somehow, but whenever I'm around him, I can't even annoy the ponce, let alone get a rise out of him. And I don't mean that in the literal sense…

"Honey! I`m home." Spike yelled as he walked through the door to his bedroom. Angel was asleep, trying to recuperate as best he could. The wounds were pretty bad; it would probably take a while to heal. That didn't bother Spike in the slightest. He was still in the process of choosing how Angel should die. He walked over to Angel and sat on the chair again, willing to wait for him to wake up. Spike was never a patient man, but now, around Angel, he seemed to have gained a lot of patience. As
Spike was watching, he saw Angel's eyes moving under the lids and realised he was dreaming. About Buffy no doubt, Spike thought to himself. Angel let out a soft moan, followed by a frown. He was having a nightmare, Spike
recognized.

"Spike." He called out as his eyes flew open and he came back to reality. He tried to sit up in blind panic, but his wrist pulled on the chains and his wounds complained fiercely. Both combined made him yell out with pain and lie back down. Spike was off hit seat in seconds, unchaining Angel's wrists. Angel looked up at him thankfully.

"Don't get excited." Spike said, dryly. "They're not going to be off for long." Sitting down, he wondered why he had done that. The whole idea of Angel being here was to cause pain, not alleviate it.

"Thank you." Angel said, hoarsely. Spike nodded and sat back down, while Angel struggled to bring his arms down, so he could rub the wrists.

"They really did a number on you." Spike remarked, getting a better look at the injuries.

"I've had worse." Angel said.

"Really?" Spike asked.

"No." Angel admitted. "But I've come close. I think I'll be able to move tomorrow."

"And what if I were torture you today? Would you still be able to move tomorrow?" Spike asked, trying to turn the conversation back to his plan. The plan he hadn't yet made.

"I guess that depends." Angel replied, as if the remark had been harmless.

"On what?"

"Whether you're any good at it." He smiled to himself. "You never did pay any attention when I tried to teach you."

"You were a bloody terrible teacher." Spike replied, finding himself smiling too.

"I wouldn't have been if you'd paid attention." Angel shot back, playfully.

"I would have paid attention if I'd given a damn about the lesson." Spike retorted.

"You paid enough attention when I taught you how to savour the kill."

"I was hungry." Spike told him. Spike paused as he realised he and

Angel were happily reminiscing. That was defiantly not the plan. "I saw Buffy on my travels." Angel's smile faded, but his face remained unconcerned.

"And?" He asked, coaxing Spike to continue.

"Wasn't at all worried about you. More worried about me." Spike smirked.

"Did you fight?" Angel asked. Spike had expected Angel to ask if she was all right…well there was still time.

"Course we did." Spike lied, unconsciously testing his sire.

"Well, at least you didn't kill each other." Angel sighed.

"How do you know I didn't kill her?" Spike protested.

"You…keep something like that a secret? You'd have told me as soon as you walked in." Angel said. Spike knew that was true and hated that Angel knew that.

"I kicked her ass though." Spike said, still hoping to get these words from his sire's lips.

"And I bet she kicked yours right back. You're lucky you aren't dead. At least you can take care of yourself." Angel muttered. Spike cocked his head. That was close enough.

"She's alright…by the way." He said, quite happy his sire had kept the conversation about him, rather than Buffy.

"I'm glad." Angel said, as if he already knew. There was an awkward silence between the two. "Spike?"

"What?" Spike asked, hesitantly.

"You don't have a clue what you're doing do you?" Angel guessed.

Spike scowled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you have anything else to say? Anything else to get off your chest? Are you going to kill me? And how?" Angel threw questions at him.

"I…" Spike stumbled.

"Are you gonna torture me or are you going to yell at me? Are you gonna sit there or are you going to fuck…"

"I'll do what I bloody well, like." Spike yelled. "My game, my rules and my bloody bed."

"I was just asking." Angel said, trying to get his childe to think about what he was doing. Spike was an expert at fighting and killing but this was Angelus' field and Spike had no idea what he was doing.

"And no ones going to be fucking." Spike added.

"That's fine." Angel said, quietly.

"Oh!" Spike shouted. "So Mr. I'm-too-good-for-vampires-now isn't even interested."

"Spike…" Angel tried to butt in.

"Well, I don't care `cause I don't even want to."

"Spike."

"Truth is…I never wanted to. Hell, I fucking hated it."

"Spike." Angel growled, getting annoyed. Spike had been well conditioned to shut up when his sire spoke like that, and even now, he automatically did it. "I just meant, whatever's good with you." Spike sighed.

"I knew that." He said, turning away. "Anyway, I've decided what I'm gonna do." He announced, grinning to himself. "I'm gonna kidnap the slayer, torture her and kill her in front of you and then open the curtains in here and let you wait `til sunrise."

"Be careful." Angel told him, knowing exactly how to handle the situation.

"Excuse me?" Spike asked, confused.

"Be careful. Don't get yourself killed. The slayer won't come along willingly." Angel said, trying not to smile at his childes face. Spike was overwhelmed with his sire's sudden interest in him. Then his mind forced him to think rationally. Since when did Angel give a damn about him?

"So I'm not good enough to kidnap the slayer now, am I?" Spike said, defensively. "The fact that I already killed two of the bitches makes no bloody difference."

"William, stop twisting my words." Angel demanded. Spike stopped and stared at Angel as if he hadn't seen him for centuries.

"Stop calling me that." Spike argued weakly. Angel went to sit up, and ended up hollering in pain as he felt the injuries from the fight sing
with the kind of pain he used to cause others. As Angel opened his eyes,
he saw that Spike was by his side, removing his clothes to get to the wounds on his stomach. Angel lay back, trusting Spike to help him.

 

I've never been so torn before. Part of me wants him dead, wants him to pay. The other half wants to help him. Wants him back. Angelus. Not the crazy vampire he had been only a year before, but the Angelus who had turned me. The one who would have protected me with his life. I kept wondering, would Angel?

"Better?" Spike asked, after bathing and bandaging Angel's slowly healing wounds. Angel nodded; not trying to hide how much each cut and bruise hurt him. "This is your own bloody fault. What possessed you to try and kill seven Vsyak demons?"

"Someone had to." Angel replied, half-heartily.

"Not your job, mate." Spike reminded him. "Get that bloody slayer to help out once in while."

"She has too much to worry about now. The mayor is taking up a lot of her time." Angel explained.

"Who's the mayor?" Spike asked, vaguely interested.

"The mayor of Sunnydale. He's planning on killing everyone here on Graduation day."

"Good for him." Spike grinned. His grin faded when he saw the lack of amusement on Angel's face. "So you thought you could take all seven yourself?"

"Maybe." Angel said, looking off into the distance, avoiding Spike's eyes.

"Somebody had a death wish." Spike pointed out. When Angel failed to look at him, Spike realised he was right. "You had a death wish?"

"No." Angel lied. He felt Spike's eyes on his face. "Yes. Maybe. I…"

Angel tried to put it into words but he failed.

"Things getting too you that much?" Spike asked, surprised and a little honoured Angel was telling him this.

"Just lately." Angel sighed.

"You've lived for years with the guilt of thousands of terrible deaths and now you decide to end it?" Spike asked.

"I wasn't..." Angel argued weakly.

"But you wouldn't have been too upset if they had?" Spike interrupted. Angel nodded, both worried and flattered that his childe still knew exactly what he was thinking. "Well there's no point in me killing you if that's what you want." Spike huffed, half-joking. Angel smiled softly.

"If it helps, I'll fight back." Angel offered.

"Yeah, `cause you're in great condition to do that." Spike said, sarcastically. Angel wanted to ask Spike what exactly he was going to do with him if he wasn't going to kill him, but he wanted to steer the conversation to another direction.

"Did you eat?" Angel asked, knowing full well he had, but he was hungry and hoped to hint to Spike.

"Hungry?" Spike smirked, teasing. Angel nodded hesitantly. It would be just like Spike to bring in a human and offer it to him every day until Angel got too damn hungry to give a damn about his soul. Spike walked over to where he'd thrown his duster and pulled a small bag of blood.

"Where did you…?" Angel wondered.

"Went to your place and nicked it." Spike grinned. "Do I need to feed you like a baby or do think you can manage?" Spike asked, patronizingly.

"I think I can manage." Angel laughed.

He'd turned it all around and I was well aware. Nothing I could do would get me back on track and deep down I didn't care. Perhaps I've gone soft, but it's actually fun to have the bugger around. Now that he's not stealing my girlfriend or trying to send the world to hell…I almost enjoy having him around.

"I'm almost healed." Angel remarked a few days later. "Hey, I'm the doctor." Spike protested. "I get to say that."
"You? A doctor?" Angel laughed.

"What's wrong with that?" Spike demanded. "I'd be a great doctor."

"Sure you would." Angel teased.

"Better than you." Spike retorted childishly.

"Well, I'm a better poet than you." Angel jibed.

"I don't doubt that." Spike grinned, remembering his human years as William the bloody awful poet.

"So are you ready to kill me yet?" Angel asked. "Or do I get to go free?"

"Free?" Spike squeaked. "I haven't exactly chained you to the bed…since I unchained you anyway." He reminded Angel. "You've been free to go."

"I didn't want to." Angel replied. "I rather like having someone fuss over me."

"Fuss!" Spike couldn't believe it. "I do not fuss over anyone."

"Sorry. Watch over me." Angel said, hiding a smile.

"Don't get use to it, peaches." Spike frowned, hiding his own smile.

"Will." Angel called, after having used the nickname several times,

Spike had stopped pretending he didn't like to be called that and let him.

"What?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"I'm not going to kill you, you big poof." Spike told him awkwardly. "You can stay here as long as you like…" Spike tried to think of a way to invite him to stay for a long period of time, but he was terrified Angel would laugh in his face or even just say no. Spike did not handle rejection well.

"I will." Angel said. Spike spun round.

"What do you mean, you will?"

"Stay here, as long as I like." Angel smiled, cockily.

"Don't you get arrogant." Spike warned. "You're my guest."

"And you're my childe." Angel responded.

"Don't start with that again." Spike moaned.

"It's your responsibly to put your old dad up." Angel mocked.

"Urgh! That's disgusting." Spike cried.

"I'm disgusting now…?"

"You're not my fucking dad."

"Well, technically…"

"Fuckin' hell."

"Spike."

"What?"

"Shut up."

 

~Fin~