ChainBy Irfikos
Part II: Blood and Rhetoric
2.4: The Villain of the Piece
Notes: All sections of Part 2 take place immediately before "Normal Again." All song lyrics in Part 2 are from "Psycho Killer," Talking Heads, 1977.
Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away…
---
The geek is looking at him. Waiting. Spike gets that he's supposed to ask questions now. That's how it works, right? The villain talks a bunch of nonsense for awhile then gets the hero to ask what the plan is. Gives the villain his excuse to go off about how brilliant he is for twenty minutes or so until the hero gets away and mucks things up for him a bit before rescuing the girl and dashing off into the sunset. 'Cept right now he's weary of the whole thing. Too bleeding hungry to think up some grand escape plan. The girl made it clear where she stands on the whole “being rescued” issue. And –– and wait a minute! When the hell did he get cast the hero's role? What's going on here? He's supposed to be the bloody villain of the piece! Evil fucking vampire, here! The Big Bad. Arch nemesis of the Slay– well, not that so much. Not so much evil these days… you know, he does his bit. Tries to stay on top of things, but…
Right. Whatever. It's all muddled now. He doesn't understand it. Hero, villain, good, evil… it's all the sodding same when you're sitting in a cage, starving for something you can't have, innit? It's not about what's right or what's wrong. It's about what you've got to do to get through it and go on. It’s the same game he’s always played, really. The same game he always ends up losing. Right then. He'll play. Nothing else to do, is there?
"Alright, I’ll bite," he obliges with a sigh. "What have you done to me?"
---
They both remain silent. Tara reaches out her hand again, tentatively. Buffy’s hand is clenched on the table. Tara smoothes it out and cups it in her own. Buffy doesn’t pull away, just stares at their hands clasped together on the table as the tears start to drip onto them. She doesn’t look up as she finally begins to speak.“I thought – I thought somehow… being with him would fix things. You know? Because being with him was so much simpler. I didn’t have to think… or… or feel. And… it’s nice to have someone who looks at you like… like… you’re the only thing in the world that matters. Even if you know it’s not true. And even if…”
“…Even if you don’t feel that way about them?” Tara offers.
Buffy nods and pulls her hand away to reach for a napkin from the dispenser. She wipes the tears from her face and sniffles. “It’s just that nothing is the way it’s supposed to be! Xander, Willow… me… it wasn’t supposed to be like this. I can’t deal, Tara. I just want sombody to fix things. I’m tired of being the one stuck trying to hold everything together.”
“Buffy, you can’t hold everything together. It’s the nature of the universe. Things always come apart. People are always going to leave us in one way or another. And sometimes they come back to us – like you did – and sometimes… they don’t. You can’t control that.”
“Willow did.”
Tara is silent.
Buffy wraps her hand around her cup. Blows on the liquid inside although it’s long since gone cold. “Do you think Willow was wrong to bring me back?”
Tara takes a breath, not exactly sure of the best way to answer. “I think… I think maybe Willow got in over her head. Messing with forces she maybe shouldn’t have. It’s just… y’know, it’s dangerous… to try to have that kind of control over something.”