Little Bitty Puzzle Pieces

By PJzallday

Repudiate

Buffy arrived in Reseda at the hotel where Giles and the Slayers had been staying. She had the front desk clerk ring the Watcher's room then waited for him to pick up the phone. "Giles, I'm not here to see you," Buffy said curtly. "I'm taking charge of your Slayers."

"Is that so?" inquired the man warily.

"It is. I'd appreciate it if you'd get them together so I can speak to them."

"Buffy, please," Giles urged, "Come up to my room so we can talk."

"Fine," she grumbled before slamming down the receiver and marching off to the man's room.

When she arrived, he was leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded across his chest. Lips pursed, peering down at her over the rims of his glasses, Giles wordlessly motioned her inside then followed and closed the door.

After crossing the room, the Slayer turned abruptly. "So, what are you going to do now?" she asked as calmly as she could manage. "What kind of disciplinary action are you going to take against these girls?"

"'m sorry?" Giles replied, bewildered by the question.

"They killed an innocent man," she explained. "More than that, he was on our side! Fighting evil. You remember evil, don't you Giles?" Without allowing him time to respond, Buffy demanded, "So what are you going to do about it? Investigate? Have a hearing? Put them on some sort of lame probation? What about rehab? 'cause that worked so well with Faith," scoffed Buffy.

Attempting to maintain his composure, the Brit began, "Now Buffy, I realize that you're angry and upset about Angel, but-"

"But what?" she barked. From her perspective, the man was making light of Angel's death. Just hearing Giles say his name infuriated her. "He's gone because I listened to you! I trusted you. I did what you wanted: I let you train those new Slayers; I stayed away so you could see how they'd do on their own. If I'd been there that night with that Beast of Alibi-"

"Amalfi," Giles muttered.

"Huh?" Seeing the man roll his eyes and gesture for her to continue, Buffy shrugged off the interruption. "If I'd been there, I could have stopped them — explained that not all demons are evil. Like you should have done."

The Watcher stood stoned face. "But Buffy, most of them are. Those girls made a completely understandable judgement."

"'Completely understandable judgement'!? I don't believe this. Now you're telling me that all demons are evil? No, wait. You're saying that it doesn't matter if innocent people get killed along the way so long as the good guys come out on top. Is that what you taught me?" Then it occurred to her: that was what he'd tried to teach her. Dawn, Spike, now Angel: all expendable for the greater good. "I thought this Council was supposed to be different. Different from the one I turned my back on because they wouldn't help me. Different from the one that was happy to let Angel die from that poisoned arrow because it wasn't 'Council policy to cure vampires'. You remember that, right Giles?" the Slayer snarled. "I thought this Council, the one you formed, was supposed to be updated. More… moderate. Understanding that some demons are good — especially the ones that help us. Even if they are vampires. Angel had a soul, dammit!"

"That's your answer to everything," the Watcher noted brusquely. "He had a soul so he was perfectly harmless. Meanwhile you two were-"

"That's it, isn't it? Me and Angel? This has nothing to do with me being with Angel. Or it shouldn't at least because I wasn't. Not anymore!" She glared at Giles. "I knew you didn't care that he was gone. You and Robin had your little plan to kill Spike for my own 'good'. Of course Angel would be next! You've never liked him; never trusted him. You can't forget- You couldn't forgive Angel for what Angelus did to you or to Jenny!"

"He was Angelus!" the man exploded. "No matter how much you wanted to deny it, he wasn't a man; he was a demon! Soul be damned; he was still a demon, and p'rhaps not so deep down as you'd like to think! Those Slayers," he stressed, "did what Vampire Slayers do! They killed a vampire."

Enraged, the Slayer lunged at Giles, shoving him hard out of her way. "Since you aren't going to do the right thing, I will," Buffy growled before throwing open the door, lodging the knob into the wall as she made her exit.

***

Before catching the Greyhound back to Santa Barbara, John picked up some drinks, snacks, a few pens and a notebook. His journey of discovery had really begun and since his trip home would take days, John decided to spend some of that time recording what he'd learned from his conversation with Alex Harris, as well as what he could recall of the brief and mysterious images that seemed to pass inexplicably through his mind. Once he was settled on the bus, John uncapped a pen and opened the book.

As he made notes about "Spike" and Slayers, and saving the world, the pensive man realized he should write down the questions he still had, so that he'd be better able to direct conversation when he renewed other acquaintances. When he'd arrived in Oregon, John had been entirely unprepared for what he would learn. He went with no solid evidence as to who Alex Harris had been to him; all John had was the inkling that he'd once known the man. But Harris had pointed him in a specific direction. Though he still had no idea as to the identity of the woman in his dreams, John had a potential link to a "family". Spike's family. He pulled the business card from his pocket. "Angel": an odd name for a vampire, John thought. Certainly "Spike" seemed more fear-worthy, and something in his gut told him they weren't exactly the best of mates. Odder still seemed the slogan, "We help the helpless". Maybe all vampires weren't evil — not like he'd been. Maybe it was Angel's desire to go against his nature and help people that caused the falling out between him and Spike. Regardless, the vampire had to know more about Spike than the carpenter had told him. In retrospect, John wondered whether it was more an unwillingness in Harris to elaborate than a lack of knowledge which left so many of John's questions about his past unanswered. Considering what he had learned and the fact that this other guy was a vampire, John wasn't sure if he even wanted to know what Angel might have to tell.

For a moment he glanced up from his paper and stared out the window, still reflecting on his trip. When he looked back at the questions he'd written, he was momentarily overwhelmed by frustration and fear. Reactively, John tore the page from the notebook, crumpled it then stuffed the paper-ball into his duffle-bag. How could he ask these questions? How could he believe that he'd been a vampire? It made him sick to think of the number of people he might have killed. With a shake of his head, he huffed at what he'd believed before meeting Harris, "'m not a mass murderer." Maybe Harris was right and he was better off with his new life. Better off as John Smith, parking attendant and security guard than he'd been as Spike, blood-sucking fiend.

***

"OK people, gather round," ordered Buffy.

She'd come across one of the Slayers in the hall near Giles' room and the girl had informed Buffy that most of her colleagues were in the hotel workout room. The other girls looked over to where she stood. Some moved apprehensively toward her; others hung back.

"Come on! Now!"

Sandy, the boldest of the group stepped up and sneered, "We don't take orders from you."

A couple of other girls went to stand with their friend to show their support. "Yeah, who the hell are you?"

"I'm Buffy," she replied, nonplussed by the fact that these girls didn't recognize her on sight.

"Oh yeah! We've heard of you," the daring new Slayer said contemptuously. Turning to the others, she announced, "This is Buffy, the Vampire Layer!" Several of the other Slayers laughed, encouraging Sandy to continue her jibes. "Aw… poor widdle Buffy." She wiggled her lips with her finger. "We dusted your boyfriend."

Something in Buffy's mind snapped. Furiously, she flew at the smart-mouthed girl who stumbled backward over a chair. Together, the two Slayers crashed down on the exercise mat, narrowly missing the stack of weight bars. With the element of surprise in her favour, the slighter Slayer was on top of the other girl pummelling her face and pounding her head against the mat. "How. Dare. You!"

Before long, however, the larger younger woman had turned the table on her attacker and had Buffy pinned firmly beneath her knees to the mat. "I guess somewhere along the way you missed the job description," Sandy mocked as she punched Buffy in the face. First with her right fist. "Vampires." Then with her left. "Demons." Then her right again. "We're supposed to kill them. It's not supposed to matter if they're hot. They're not human!"

The two struggled and squirmed; the point of power shifted back and forth until-

"Dirimo!" Willow shrieked, freezing the group where they were. "What the hell is going on down here!?" The witch marched over to the tangle of hostile Slayers. As she motioned with her hands, most of the group shook off the spell but the fighters were only separated, still unable to move under their own power. With the pair parted, Willow and the others could see their bloodied faces. "Buffy… What are you doing?"

***

"Spike! Listen to me. You don't want to do this."

In an instant they were upon her: disfigured faces, long sharp teeth. Vampires. She was struggling. Fighting. But now they had her.

"They're waiting for you. Take her. Taste her. Make her weak." They were holding her for him.

"Spike! No!"

He stepped toward her. The smell of her fear and her blood filling his senses. Calling to the demon inside him. He leaned into her throat, baring his teeth-

John shuddered and gasped, grabbing the armrests of his seat. He was breathing hard and in a cold sweat. His heart was racing and his vision was blurred. When he'd reoriented himself, the traveler realized he'd been dreaming again. Of that same woman. Now he knew when she said "Spike", she was speaking to him. And now he knew he'd killed her. With a hand on his mouth, the other on his stomach, he groaned, nauseated at the thought of what he'd done. In the dimly lit bus, he leaned against the window with tears in his eyes and stared out into the bleak darkness of the night.

***

Willow escorted Buffy to the pool's locker room to address her injuries while insisting the other girl go to her room to clean up.

Grimacing at the sight of herself, Buffy grabbed some tissues to blot away the blood from her lip and cheek while her friend jumped up to sit on the counter with her fingers curled around the edge.

"You couldn't stay away, huh?" the witched asked.

"What?" Buffy glanced to her friend.

"You came looking for vengeance. Sandy killed Angel and you-"

"What?!"

Willow bit her tongue. "Hey, wait. I didn't mean that. It's just she was part of the group that… Buffy, I understand your anger. Of all people, I have to understand."

Though she wasn't saying so, the blond was well aware her friend was thinking of Tara and of the rampage on which "Darth Rosenberg" had gone after her lover had been murdered.

"But Buffy, I know what happens when you go too far. I know what it's like to kill someone out of anger. It's not a good feeling. It's not one I want you to know." Willow wasn't sure whether the Slayer was even listening as she rinsed her mouth, spitting out bloody water. Still the red-head persisted, "Buffy? You're still going to come back with us to England, right?"

Buffy shook her head. "Will, I can't." Through her teeth she gritted, "I'm not going anywhere with Giles. I can't stand the sight of him and-" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she raised her hand to her temple. "Just the sound of his voice…" The angry woman looked to her friend. "Really Will, I don't think I can be held accountable for my actions around him."

"Stay with me," the witch insisted. "Some time with the Coven could do you some good. It's a safe supportive environment; lots of positive energy. I really think you need some time away. From L.A. From California. A complete change of scenery would do you a lot of good."

Buffy rolled her eyes and grumbled, "Yeah… whatever."

Willow put her hand on her friend's shoulder, drawing Buffy's full attention. "Really Buffy. I think you need to get away from here. And the Coven… It's a great place for reflection… and for healing. Please Buffy, come back with me."

 

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