Mad Bad & Dangerous To Know

By DM Evans

It is extreme evil to depart
from the company of the living before you die
De Tranquilitate Animi. 2 - Seneca



Somehow I managed to sleep comfortably, in my bed this time. We all had clothing packed and an entire trunk of weaponry ready to go. Wes assured me that he could ensorcell it enough to look benign on X-ray when we caught our plane. We had already boosted a coffin and somehow Lorne found a hearse. I didn't want to know how. I was dead asleep, beyond exhausted, when Fred rapped on the bedroom door.

"Angel, we have company," she called though the door. She didn't sound upset or frightened.

"All right, I'll be right down." I was surprised. I figured it had to be Giles but they'd gotten here faster than I'd thought. I dressed quickly. I hesitated a moment on the stairs when I saw Giles, Xander Dawn and Faith standing there in the lobby, ringed by Wes, Fred and Lorne. Exhaustion roiled off them in waves. Faith and Dawn's eyes were glassy and red. Dawn stared at Lorne curiously. Xander had an eye patch. Had he lost an eye? I felt momentarily sorry for him. Giles seemed old, worn out. "Giles, I didn't expect you so soon. Thank you for coming, all of you," I said then went over to Xander. "I'm sorry about Anya."

"Thanks," he mumbled, looking too dazed to figure out if taking condolences from me was okay or not.

"Wes said you could use our help," Faith said, flashing me a quick smile.

"You have no idea. Sit down and we'll tell you about it. Can I get you anything to drink or eat?" I asked as Dawn gave me a quick hug. I hugged her back. For a ludicrous moment I wanted to take her with me when I got Connor. She was his age. He hadn't ever had someone his own age to talk to. He needed that.

They wanted nothing and after they told us about the First and the big battle and where Buffy was now, we told them how Cordelia ended up in a coma, leaving out the fact Connor fathered her child. I didn't want to over-complicate the story. I explained Connor away as an important hostage. To make sure both Connor and Cordy were safe, we wanted to make the rescues as simultaneous as possible. I was afraid if we liberated one first, Wolfram and Hart would hurt the other before we could reach them.

"There's a small branch of Watchers in Pittsburgh," Giles said after we finished our explanations. He shifted, trying to get comfortable on that weird round couch where he and Xander were sitting. "They have doctors and mages who might be able to help."

"All the way across the country, that should be safe, right?" Dawn stretched her legs out. She had to sit on the stairs with Faith. There really wasn't good seating in our offices.

"As safe as it can be," I replied. "And you can get her there, Giles?"

"We were heading to Cleveland to the other Hellmouth. Pittsburgh is only a few hours further east. It'll be no trouble to take Cordelia." Giles paused, casting a rather sad look at Dawn and Xander. It became clear quickly why he seemed a little sorrowful. "I planned on joining those Watchers eventfully. We need a base of operation in America as the Council rebuilds and we have to find all the new Slayers. This isn't going to be easy, especially if the power went to very young girls. I have no idea how we'll convince all the parents of what happened."

Dawn almost popped up but Faith held her down. I heard her mutter 'Giles can't leave us again.'

"And we'd help you if we could," I said, trying to ignore the implication that Giles had left Buffy, too. "Wes, if you want to help Giles with that, I'll understand." Part of me wanted him to go so I wouldn't have to look at him and think ïyou're the reason I never truly got my son back.' But the bigger part of me remembered Wes had been a good friend and ally and I needed him.

Wes shook his head, relaxing back in the reception desk's chair. "My place is here. Maybe later, if they want me back, I might consider it."

"Maybe when we get settled, we'll be more than happy to help," Fred said.

"Thank you. What I do not understand is why this law firm has kidnapped a boy." Giles took his glasses off for a polish.

"Can you just trust us that he's in danger? It's a very long story that I'm more than willing to tell when he's safe. I know it's a lot to take on faith. Connor has something Wolfram and Hart want and they will hurt him to get it." I didn't doubt they'd hurt him. They were probably experimenting on him or brainwashing him as a general for their future Armageddon.

"We said we'd help," Xander said, a sulky look on his face as if he were angry that I didn't trust them to do for us.

"And I appreciate it. Believe me." I paced around the lobby, wanting to get moving. The inaction grated on my nerves.

"So how are we going to do this? No offense, but I don't think you're going to be helpful when it comes to busting Cordelia out of that nursing home." Xander waved a hand at Lorne who scowled from his seat on the stairs.

"I'd do anything for my pixie cat," Lorne replied, straightening his purple lapels. "But you're right. I'll be keeping Lilah distracted at Wolfram and Hart until Angel can reach the white room."

"So how are we working this?" Faith reiterated Xander's question since we hadn't exactly answered it.

"Our plan," Wes said, "is for me to go in and remove Cordelia from the home. I'll have paperwork with Wolfram and Hart's letterhead saying I'm her legal guardian. The nursing home shouldn't question it. Fred will help me. Angel will break into the white room and rescue Connor."

"I can't help but notice we're not involved in any of this," Faith said, her lips turning down into an impatient frown.

"I don't want to endanger anyone," I said, pausing in my pacing. "You're all tired. I don't want to risk you. I needed you here to make sure Cordelia is safe once she's out of the home."

"You need my help, Angel, if you're breaking into Wolfram and Hart," Faith argued, getting up and stalking over to me.
"I'm not too tired and I owe you."

I nodded, gratefully. "Faith, at this point with what you did to help with the Beast and..." I hated to even think about it. I was just glad they stopped me before I did anything too horrible. "With Angelus, we're even. And I'd be grateful for the help."

"So you really don't need us to do anything else?" Dawn looked almost disappointed.

"Believe me, caring for Cordelia is enough," Wes said. "She is totally comatose. She needs complete care. You'll need to get her to Pittsburgh quickly. Cordy is catheterized and they're feeding her with IV's until they could get a feeding tube in her. That will need to be done soon." Wes looked at Giles. "I wanted to ask you for permission to fake Wolfram and Hart paperwork for you as well, Rupert, if hospitalization is needed before you can get her to the Council's doctors. It'll help if a legal guardian travels with her."

"Yes, of course. I didn't realize it was so bad," Giles said. "Once we're away from here I'll see about flying her out east. I'm not sure she'll survive otherwise."

"We're just hoping you will find a way to make sure this isn't permanent for her," I said.

"We'll do our best. Xander, Dawn and I will take Cordelia away from here immediately," Giles said. "Faith will be staying with you."

I turned to Faith, shocked. "Are you sure? Wouldn't you be better off helping Buffy and Giles with all that will need to be done with the new Slayers?"

Faith slung her hair back. "I'm not a teacher, Angel. I'm a doer."

"You did an admirable job with the Potentials, Faith," Giles corrected her and she glanced away, embarrassed.

"Better than we thought you would," Xander added unapologetically but Faith didn't seem offended. She knew she had a lot of work to regain anyone's trust.

"And I'm still a fugitive from justice," Faith said. "I'm a danger to Giles and the others. I'm better off here with you, Angel."

"I can use your help, Faith," I replied, stuffing my hands in my pockets as I started up my pacing again. "I have no idea what I might be walking into once I breach the white room. It appears to be a nexus to other intradimensional holding cells."

"And I might be able to help you, Faith. If Dawn wants to take my place with Wes getting Cordy's stuff packed up and ready to travel," Fred said, bouncing off the desk where she had been perched.

"Of course I will." Dawn's face lit up, happy to have something to do.

"What do you have in mind, Fred?" I asked, uncomfortable with risking Buffy's sister. Then again, Buffy has allowed Dawn to do this so I shouldn't worry too much.

"I think I can use Wolfram and Hart's resources to make it look like Faith's been paroled or was released early. I should be able to fix it so they're no longer looking for you, Faith," Fred said, perkily. Faith went loose limbed, shocked or relieved or maybe both.

"Thank you," she said. She looked like she wanted to ask, ïwhy?'

"Thanks, Fred," I said. "Can you go now and try that before Wes and Dawn get Cordy? We're not going to have much time to do this. It can't wait for night fall since the nursing home won't do business after five."

"I'll go now. Where should we meet since we'll all be separated?" Fred asked.

"Right back here. We already have everything ready to go. Lorne, give everyone their plane tickets before we go just in case we have to run for it. Wes has my death certificate and the coffin is already loaded in the hearse."

"I don't like not having Charles in on this," Fred fretted.

"We haven't been able to find him, Fred," I said. "We have a ticket for him. It's the best we can do."

The look in her eye said she didn't believe me and I didn't blame her. I didn't believe it much either. We could have tried harder. I just had a very bad feeling about Gunn. That little voice that had saved me more times than I could count over the centuries said to be wary of him. I didn't like hearing it in regards to, if not a friend, then at least a trusted comrade. Fred just nodded and headed out.

"Giles, how are you getting Cordelia out of here?" I asked.

"School bus. I know it's hardly discrete but there were too many of us, with all the Potentials, for something more conventional. Buffy is supposed to be renting an RV for the cross country trip," he replied.

"Thank you, all of you, for this." I circled back, putting a hand on Giles' shoulder. "And Giles, if we're not back here by dawn, just go."

"Understood. Good luck, Angel."

"Thanks. Faith, come on, I'll tell you as much as I can about the white room."

---

We gave Fred some time to do her thing, hoping no one would notice. She called as I was making my way through the sewers to the firm. Faith would meet me there with a car so we could get Connor out quickly. Fred had succeeded but she hadn't seen Gunn. She was on her way back to the hotel.

I managed to get into the firm easily enough. No one questioned me but I didn't expect they would. If anyone recognized me as their new boss, they'd know I had a UV proof office. I tried to be inconspicuous. I should have left the duster behind. I didn't know where Faith was. We were playing it loose. I kept to the shadows in the lobby until I caught her scent. I tracked it to a woman with red hair. She turned and smirked at me. Her dark eyebrows didn't go with the hair but I didn't recognized Faith at a quick glance.

"I'm not sure why Cordy had wigs but she did, so I figured why not?" Faith shrugged.

"I think that was something she got for an audition or something." My brow wrinkled. "Why were you poking around in Cordy's room?"

"Dawn wanted to help find stuff that Cordy might want with her when she wakes up."

That was sweet. Dawn could be that occasionally but I mostly remembered her as the bratty little sister. I was surprised to see Faith had that touch of gentleness especially since there was no love lost between Faith and Cordy. "Good, let's do this."

I led Faith to the elevator, once pulling her behind a large bushy tree as Lorne sailed by, arm linked with Lilah. He seemed to be making good on his promise to keep her distracted. I hated thinking I couldn't trust him any more so this made me feel better. I got into the elevator after having to wait three times to get it to myself and Faith.

"Now what?" she asked.

"I have to remember the right sequence to take us to the white room," I said, staring at the buttons.

"Can you?"

"I have an photographic memory," I replied, remembering the last time I tried this. I recalled hearing joy in my son's voice at my momentary lapse of memory or worse, his willful hard headedness and smug pleasure about the differences between me and zombies. I liked hearing his happiness even if it was at my expense.

"Didn't you say the evil little girl that guarded this place was killed by the Beast?" Faith slouched against the elevator wall.

"Yes." I punched the sequence in.

"So what are the chances it's unguarded now?"

The door opened and Gunn was in the middle of the white room. I could almost hear Faith's heart drop. I had gotten the impression that she had liked Gunn and I knew she was thinking what I was: This was why Gunn had been incognito.

"What are you doing here Angel?" Gunn's stance was entirely defensive.

"I was about to ask you the same thing, Gunn." I stepped into the white room. "We've been looking for you."

"Not very hard," he said, his dark eyes roving over to Faith. "So you survived the Hellmouth."

"Looks like," Faith said, stepping away from me, putting distance between us, anticipating the fight.

"Is this what they promised you, Gunn? Being imprisoned in here?" I asked.

His grin left me cold. There was something other than Gunn behind his eyes. "No, it was something you wouldn't understand. You've been too busy running from your power."

If I needed anything more to tell me Gunn was lost to us, that was it. "All I want is the boy, Gunn. He's here."

"Lilah said you might come for him before he was done healing," Gunn said. "What's he to you?"

I shook my head. "Doesn't matter."

"No, I guess it doesn't."

Gunn ran at me and I was expecting a stake or something since he had to know he couldn't take me or Faith unarmed. He leapt up in the air, dodging around a column of light that I had presumed was the nexus. His jump was too acrobatic for Gunn. When he landed, ïbeware the panther,' suddenly made sense. I really had seen Darla in some kind of portent. Claws sprouted from his fingers. His jaw had gotten heavier. Strong fangs peeking out from his lips. His eyes went yellow with slit pupils. A fine dark fur had sprouted all over his exposed skin.

"What did they do to you?" I whispered, too stunned to move.

"They believed in me."

He slashed at me. I felt claws tearing through the flesh of my chest, not deep but painful. I didn't pull my punch. I assumed he was stronger now but I didn't want to kill him. There was a chance that I could undo what had been done to him, even if he wasn't really wanting my help. I couldn't just stand by and lose him this way. The Gunn I knew wouldn't want to be part demon. The punch laid him out flat. Faith made a try for the pillar of light. It bounced her back on her butt.

"Did you think it would be that easy?" Gunn sneered, getting to his feet.

"Worth a try," Faith shrugged. "So you let them turn you into a monster?"

Gunn lunged at her and Faith barely managed to avoid his claws. "You say monster; I say released my full potential."

Faith kicked him, knocking him back to me. My fist sent him sprawling. Unlike Faith, Gunn slid right through the beam of light and I understood what else they had done to him.

"How did we not believe in you?" I asked.

"All you saw was a strong back. As long as I was there with the ïyasmassa's' and ïnomassa's' you were happy. Never once did you think I was capable of doing the brain work." Gunn gathered himself up to charge again.

I could smell his blood and it was changed, not entirely human any more. "That isn't true."

All that did was make him angrier. He bowled me over. I planted my foot in his gut, launching him into the wall but not without losing skin.

He shook off the blow. "Like hell it's not. Who did Fred turn to every time she needed extra help with the book work? Sure as hell not me. Wes, that's who. Even when he wasn't with us any more, she called him. None of you believed in me."

"You're pathetic," Faith said and Gunn whirled to face her. "Just when I think all men aren't retarded, I get proof none of you think past your dicks. You're so scared you're going to lose the Stick to Wes, you let the law firm of ultimate evil diddle with you. Worse, they didn't make you brain guy. They made you the thing you didn't want to be, Mr. Muscle. And people wonder why I'm not interested in more than one night stands. Men are stupider than a cucumber and half the time not as talented."

She caught Gunn's charge with a flying round house kick. It connected solidly with his chin and he dropped so fast I was afraid she broke his neck.

"Idiot," she said as I went to feel for a pulse. Unconscious, Gunn's form reverted to human.

"Men certainly can be," I admitted. "Especially over a woman."

Faith leaned against the pillar of light, pushing. "No kidding. Now what?"

"Stand back." I slid Gunn into the light. Faith put a hand against the column and it passed through.

"What the hell?"

"They've made Gunn into the doorman," I said. "Stay here, Faith and make sure he stays right where he's at or I could end up trapped."

"How do you know that Connor is through there?"

"I don't but I have to try."

I didn't give Faith a chance to protest. I stepped into the nexus. When I came out on the other side, I was in another dimension. Thankfully, it was night. I had been so much in a rush to reach my son I hadn't thought it through. I was expecting a holding pen, not a forest. It smelled wonderful, like deep pines, vanilla and coffee. More importantly, I could scent Connor.

The nexus was still in sight when I found him. He was naked, lying on what looked like giant ivy leaves. A tendril snaked into his mouth. A purplish flower curled up over his head, the petals resting over his long nose. Connor looked like he was asleep and peaceful for the first time I had ever seen. A preposterous image flashed in my head. This looked like those honey-sweet Anne Geddes Christmas cards Fred bought last year. Something like little butterflies were fluttering around him.

As I got near him, the flower moved and a cloud of spores or something poured out of it. The butterfly creatures dropped from the sky either dead or asleep. Just as well I don't breathe. As I reached for Connor, a tendril lashed out, wrapping around my arm. It had thorns. I grabbed it and tore it free from the plant, if it was indeed a plant. I caught Connor's arms and dragged my son up. His body was pierced in a few places by the tendrils. Healing, Gunn had said something about Wolfram and Hart healing Connor. Was plant healing him or eating him alive? I had to risk it. I grabbed the tendril that went into his mouth and carefully tried to extract it.

The plant wrapped tendrils around my legs, pulling them out from under me. I landed on Connor and he didn't make a sound. I took out my knife from my jacket and slashed through the tendrils. The leaves Connor had been lying on started jerking and the flower made more clouds of poison. I slit the flower off, too. I finished pulling the tendril out of his mouth. Connor gagged and drooled as the thing came free, streaked with blood. Please, let me not have hurt him too badly.
Once that was free the other tendrils pulled out of Connor on their own. The holes in him barely bled. I got up and scooped him up in my arms. His eyes stayed shut and his head flopped back like the rag dolls I used to get Dru when I got tired of her busting up the expensive porcelain ones. I ran through the nexus and nearly trampled Faith and Gunn. She caught me before I ended up falling over and on top of poor Connor again.

"You got him." She raised an eyebrow. "And he's naked."

"He might need a doctor, too," I said, seeing the streamer of drool trickling from the corner of his mouth was pink with blood.

"What about Gunn?" she asked.

I looked at my fallen friend. "It's too risky to take him now. I don't know what he's capable of and he's with Wolfram and Hart. We'll have to figure out a way to help him later."

Faith didn't argue. She headed for the door, opening it for me. Her eyes widened. "Angel, watch out."

She shoved me aside since my arms were full. Gunn had regained consciousness but he was unsteady on his feet. She hit him once and put him down. She ran for me and we darted into the elevator. It was hard to watch those doors close on Gunn. I wanted to help him. I just didn't know how. The elevator started to descend and Faith hit the stop button.

"What are you doing, Faith? We have to get out of here," I said.

"You plan on carrying a naked boy through the lobby?" She put her fists against her hip bones.

I glanced down at my son. "Um, I guess not."

She held out her arms and I draped Connor in them. I shrugged out of my jacket.

"So, who is he really, Angel?"

"My son."

Her head snapped up, her eyes locking with mine. "What?"

"It's a very long story. It's why I didn't want to get into it with Giles."

She looked Connor over. "Are you sure he's yours?"

I pouted as I pulled my jacket around him. "You don't think he looks like me?"

"Not in the least," she said, juggling her hold on him while I fussed with the jacket. She put her finger under the head of his penis, lifting it a bit. "But if Buffy was lucky, you two have this in common."

I slapped her hand. "Stop that."

She laughed as I started the elevator again but it died quickly. "Um, Angel, he's waking up."

Connor went from unconscious to almost instantly awake. The effect was startling then he started screaming and thrashing. Faith lost her grip on him and he crashed to the floor. He kicked and yelled wordlessly. Faith jumped on him, trying to hold him down.

"Damn, he's strong," she said. "Definitely not your average boy."

I ignored her, grabbing him in a choke hold. I carefully cut off my child's air supply and when he was unconscious, I gathered him back up to me. "We're going straight to the sewer. I'll go five blocks south. You get the car and meet me there."

Connor stayed unconscious as I slogged through the sewer. Faith had gotten a police interceptor somewhere, a retired one since it had been stripped of its lights and cage. She grinned as I put my son in the back seat.

"Where did you get this?" I asked, getting in.

"A used car lot. Listen to the engine."

The huge engine of the one-time police car roared. It would have ensured an escape against most vehicles but we weren't chased. Gunn must not have had time to warn them. When we got home, Giles had already left with Xander, Dawn and Cordelia. I was glad he was already on his way to safety with her but part of me was sad I didn't get to say good bye to my best friend. I only hoped they could help her. I had to cut off Connor's air once more on the way home. I'm not sure what he was seeing and fighting but I didn't think it was me. I think he was lost somewhere in his nightmares, my poor son. We didn't waste any time; Connor seemed to be healing so there was no need for a doctor. I patched up the wounds I could see. Fred drugged Connor heavily then we dressed him in some of Wes' clothes. I told them about Gunn as Wes held a wailing Fred. I promised her once we were safe we would try to think of a way to help him.

In the end, she knew we could do nothing more than move on. I got into my coffin and trusted my friends to do the rest.




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