Mad Bad & Dangerous To Know

By DM Evans

Daddy, I'm so afraid
How would I go on, with you gone that way?
Don't wanna cry anymore
So may I stay with you?
And he said, That's my job, that's what I do
Everything I do is because of you
To keep you safe with me ...
That's my job, you see.
That's My Job- Conway Twitty




I sat with Connor all night, reading through a thin tome on local myth. The Floridians didn't seem to have much in the way of imagination, not like others I've seen. It was probably the heat, which saps everything. I taped the window up with cardboard and moved my shade curtain to Connor's berth so I could stay with him in the day. I wasn't sure if he knew I was there. He slept deeply, almost bordering comatose. I had tried to wake him when he'd started having nightmares a few hours back but I couldn't.

The curtain rustled and Faith stood there, a glass in hand. "Fred said we should try to get some water into him."

"Maybe you shouldn't get near him, Faith, until we know if this is contagious or not," I said, setting my book aside.

"Slayers don't get sick easily," she retorted.

I nodded and touched Connor's shoulder. He was still feverish. "Connor, son, wake up." He didn't respond so I shook him, calling his name louder. "Faith, get me some more aspirin. He's burning up," I added as his eyes fluttered open. Their blue seemed dull, the skin around his eyes dark and puffy. He moaned in protest at being awakened, his lips dry and cracked. "I know you don't feel good, Connor, but I need you to take some medicine."

He said something in a language I didn't know as I lifted him up, propping him against my body.

"What's that?" Faith asked.

"I don't know. Probably a demon language from Quor-Toth," I said as Connor faded. I gently shook him. "Stay with me, Connor. Try to swallow these pills."

"Yes, Father," he muttered.

Faith pushed the gel caps into his mouth and tipped the water glass up. His throat worked feebly but he didn't take much water.

"Drink more, son," I demanded and he did. I petted his hair, damp with sweat. "Do you need anything, Connor? Do you need...." My eyes flicked towards Faith, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Uh, to use the bathroom?"

His head shake was barely perceptible. "No." He sighed heavily. "Father, the Skee-bils...they're trying to get me...too weak to fight them."

"You're safe now, Connor," I said, feeling the knife twist in my gut. I wasn't the man he thought I was. "The Skee-bils are gone."

He trembled. "I'm sorry I couldn't fight them, Father. Don't be angry. Don't leave me alone again, Father."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to keep you safe," I said, feeling anger raging like a river through me. He was talking to Holtz and obviously, that bastard was in the habit of punishing my son by abandoning him to the horrors of that terrible place.

Connor sighed contentedly, putting his arms around me. He rested his head against my chest. I tucked my chin down against his soft hair. "You're so cold, Father."

"I'm not cold, Connor. You have a fever," I replied, stroking his back. My hands were still tender and pink with healing flesh but they made his skin seem even more pale by comparison. We had left Connor stripped to his shorts, once even packing ice in around him trying to break his fever.

"Since when does he call you Father?" Faith asked, sitting at the kitchen table a few feet away.

"He doesn't. He's talking to Holtz." I felt tears pricking at my eyes.

Ghosts of them stood in Faith's dark orbs. "I'm so sorry, Angel."

"It's all right. He's delusional. It's not a surprise to hear him call out for the man who raised him." It might not shock me but it hurt like someone had slit open my gut and packed it with crosses. Connor was already asleep against me, his fists wadded in my shirt. I kissed his hot forehead and laid him down.

"Where are the others?" I asked. "Have they found anything?

"Fred and Lorne are in Miami getting the reinforcements Wes called in." Faith stretched.

I sat up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. "What?"

"You were asleep and we didn't want to disturb you," Faith said. "You needed a little...peace. Wes knows what did this and he's got help coming. I'll go get him. He can explain better."

I watched Faith go. I leaned close to my son's ear and whispered. "You hang on, son. It's going to be all right."

At the sound of my voice he murmured, burrowing into the bedding. It had to be all right. I couldn't lose him now. There was only so much a man could take. I'm not sure I could live through losing him again.

Wes had a thick book in hand when Faith brought him back. She pulled the shades near the table so I'd have enough shadows to get from the bed to there so we could sit and talk.

"Faith said you've got a handle on this," I said, sneaking over.

Wes opened the book and there was the creature looking up at me in ink form. "Gunn shouldn't have called it by name if he didn't want us to find it. Long Ears is what the Colonists called this creature. It occasionally plagued the Seminoles but more often just kept to itself. Its proper name is Hvcko Capko."

I held up a hand. "Don't care, Wes. What did it do to my son and how do I help him?"

"That I still don't know." Wes looked honestly regretful. "It does infect people. Whether it's a mystical infection or a medical one, I can't find anything that says exactly."

"Should we be getting him to a hospital?" I asked.

"I considered that but Connor's blood....it might be best if it didn't go under a microscope unless we have no choice. We don't know if it would be normal or not," Wes said, templing his fingers. "I see no other special considerations for the Hvcko Capko. They normally aren't predatory, stay to the swamps. From what little I can glean from the legends, we should be able to kill it without a lot of magic."

"Just hit it from a distance," Faith put in, an anticipatory gleam in her eyes.

Wes nodded. "Exactly. Vampires tend to be immune to infections, being that you're dead. When Gunn leads that thing back here, you'll have to do the close in work, Angel."

"I'm surprised he hasn't brought it back already. I'm helpless at this time of day," I said.

"We messed Gunn up good. He might need time to heal," Faith added.

"And since all the attacks have been at night, instead of when you're vulnerable, it's possible that the changes in Gunn have left him sun-sensitive," Wes said.

"Or the critters Wolfram and Hart are using are," Faith said.

"What kind of reinforcements have you sent for?" I asked.

"They should be here soon. With the speed at which Connor took sick, I believe this has more to do with the mystical
aspects so I've contacted some experts in the area," Wes replied.

An unexpected smile tugged at my lips. "Willow and Giles."

"Yes, Willow certainly has the power and Rupert the knowledge."

"Buffy couldn't come," Faith said with an apologetic look. "Something about a Lake Erie monster."

I nodded. Before I could reply, the sounds of flesh hitting metal caught our attention. I glanced over to see Connor thrashing in his bed uncontrollably. "My God " I nearly fried myself in a sunbeam in my reckless dash back to his berth. I tried to capture his flailing hands. "Wes "

"Just make sure he doesn't hurt himself. He's having a seizure," Wes said.

"I know that. Why?" I snarled.

"He's too hot," Faith said. "Happened to a girl in the next cell when I was inside. She was trying to prove she was too tough to need a doctor."

"It's a febrile convulsion," Wes said, putting the proper terms to it like that helped anything.

All I knew was my child was cooking from the inside. I knew this could only be damaging his brain. He was so strong, I could barely restrain him. Finally, the seizure passed. Faith handed me a paper towel and I wiped away the foam that dribbled past his lips. I pulled him to me, whispering, "Why did you have to charge in like that, Connor?" I knew the answer. He was just like me. Act first, think second. I lifted my head, hearing a vehicle approach. "I think reinforcements have arrived." I laid Connor back down.

His breathing rasped wet and labored. I knew that sound. So many people died from it when I was growing up; damp lung, pneumonia, whatever it was, it was a sound not easily forgotten. I felt an inexplicable sense of relief as Giles and Willow walked into the RV. Their addition to the team meant some of the very best were here to help my son. I wished Buffy could have come with the others, even if this wasn't her forte. I needed support and the two women I had so often looked to for it for the better part of a decade weren't here.

"Giles, Willow, it's good to see you," I said then my eyes strayed to the door as a woman I didn't know came in. She was older, over sixty; short, round, tanned. Her thick black hair, heavily peppered with grey, was pulled into a bun. Her dark eyes held a jovial glint. Fred and Lorne were behind her.

"Angel, this is Josephine Billie. Her family has been following the Seminole healing ways for generations," Giles said as Willow bounced over, probably to greet me but pulled up short seeing Connor. "She's been an affiliate of the Council most of her life."

"Pleased to meet you, ma'am," I said. "Do you think you can help him?"

"I'll try," she said, coming over to us. Her voice had a singsong nature that at any other time, I would have found delightful.

She came over, putting her gnarled, wrinkled hands on Connor. I could feel power radiating from her. Her face went grave. "The disease has almost run its course," she said. "I'm amazed at his strength."

"He's dying, isn't he?" I couldn't keep my voice from shaking.

"It's not too late. I'll need cypress, bittersweet, eucalyptus, garlic, willow, plantain, tobacco, nettle, oak, olive, life-everlasting and hemp," she rattled off. "And some hair from the Coo-wah cho-bee, the panther."

"I can take you wherever you need to go to get all of that, " Lorne said, putting a hand on her arm.

"Ms. Billie, is there anything I can do until you get back?" Willow asked.

"You could try to slow the progression of the disease," Josephine said and headed out with Lorne. Fred went to go with them but Lorne motioned her to stay.

"I'm not so sure you should be touching him, Willow," I said before she could move. I should have warned the healer off, too. "He could be infectious."

"I'm not worried," Willow said, sweeping her flaming hair out of her eyes. "According to Josephine, you can only be infected directly by Long Ears." She sat on the bed beside me and Connor, taking his hand. "There's so much magic woven around him." Willow's face pinched. "I've never felt anything like this tapestry. Giles, come here and examine this."

Giles did so, his fingers tweaking the air over my son like he was playing a harp. "Quite remarkable. I can see why Wolfram and Hart might want him. Do you need help with the spell, Willow?"

She shook her head. I got up and slunk over to the table more cautiously than I left it. Faith moved so Giles could join Wes and me.

"Can I get you anything, Mr. Giles? Willow?" Fred asked.

Willow gave Fred a peculiar look, one of mistrust and embarrassment. I wondered about it. What had happened between them while I was Angelus? "I'm fine, thanks."

"I wouldn't mind a little water," Giles said. "Wolfram and Hart seem to be rather careless in their attempts to regain this boy."

"The monster was meant for Faith," Wes said. "Connor engaged it in close quarters while Faith attempted to subdue our former colleague."

"Yes, we've been investigating what you've related about what happened to him," Giles said. "It may be reversible."

"Once, Xander started turning into a hyena because of an animal possession ritual," Willow offered. "We're hoping it's like that."

"Hyena?" Faith couldn't help but sound like one herself for a moment. She clamped a hand over her mouth, looking embarrassed.

"Any help I can be, tell me," Fred said, handing Giles the water. "I need Charles back."

"We could always use some help with the research," Willow said with a raised eyebrow that seemed to say she couldn't imagine Fred with Gunn. "Angel, who is this kid?"

Willow st next to me and for a moment all I could think was that she had grown from a mousy girl into a stunningly beautiful young woman. And I had missed that transformation, just as I had missed so much of all the lives of the people important to me. I decided I had to be honest with them. They had come all this way in less than a day, ready to join in the fight just for my sake. I didn't have the right to keep from the truth from them. They were putting too much effort into helping me and I think, maybe, I had learned my lesson about trying to shoulder all the weight alone.

"He's my son," I said softly. Giles' blue eyes met mine, a field of astonishment growing in them. Willow's mouth flopped open. "I know, it's impossible. Trust me, it's not. The magic you're sensing is what Wolfram and Hart wove around him." I launched into the short version of Connor's history.

Giles got up afterwards, going over to my son. He gently brushed Connor's hair off his forehead. "It's incredible, Angel. I can understand why you didn't want to complicate things in L.A. by telling me. I don't know what I would have done."

"And you said I knew him?" Willow's bright eyes bored into me just as they had through the whole speech.

"Yes. I don't know what you thought of him because I was Angelus at the time and you know all about that." I went over to them. Faith, Wes and Fred, giving us a little time alone, had retired to the other RV some time during my explanation.
"He doesn't look much like you," Willow said. "No offense."

"It's been pointed out to me," I said wryly. "I can't tell you how much it means to me, your help. I can't lose him now. We've been through too much."

"We're going to save the day," Willow told me without a doubt. "We've done it so many times before."

I smiled wanly. "Thanks, Willow." I sat next to my son, hating that it was day and I was trapped in the RV with my thoughts. I needed to take my mind off Connor's imminent death. "How is Cordelia? Have you learned anything more?"

"She has active brain waves, as I told you when we last spoke," Giles said. "We suspect this coma has more to do with the mystical than the physical." He shoved up his glasses. "Only we don't know what to do about it. From your own account of what Skip told you, this could be permanent."

I grimaced. "Skip was a liar. I know it'll take time, Giles. And I appreciate what you're doing for her."

"She was part of our family, too," Giles said. "Anything we can do to help."

I nodded. "It'll be a while before they return with all that stuff the healer needed, a while yet before nightfall, so feel free to use either of the beds. You could probably use some rest."

Giles sighed. "That would be nice. I have a lot of memorizing phonetic Seminole for the ritual as well."

"What about you, Angel?" Willow asked.

"I'm going to stay with Connor. If...I don't want him to die alone," I said realistically, painfully afraid that if I didn't stay with him every moment he'd slip away from me for good.

This time Willow did hug me. "It'll be all right."

I didn't answer her. They took the offered beds. I propped myself up on the wall that passed as a headboard and started my vigil. Willow's voice startled me awake. I had fallen asleep, in spite of myself. The sun wasn't quite down. I could still feel it. Connor was so still that I panicked. I touched his arm. It was still extremely warm and a good listen did nothing to alleviate my fear. His lungs and heart were struggling.

"Angel, Josephine's got the medicinal elixir cooking. She and Giles will be working the spell," Willow said.

"You won't be helping?" That came out more snappish than I wanted it to.

Willow's feathery eyebrows raised. "Well, I did memorize the Seminole phrasing just in case but I'll be helping you and the others if this creature comes back."

I shook my head, looking at her and Giles who was at the table with Wes. "I can handle that creature. It can't infect me. My son needs your strength, Willow. His heart...I can hear it fluttering. It's not beating right any more. He's dying."

Willow's lower lip quivered. Her pretty eyes misted. She knew too well what it was like to lose someone close to her. "I'll talk to Josephine to be sure I won't throw off the harmonics."

She went out the door. Wes went to the fridge and tossed a blood packet into the microwave.

"I'm not hungry, Wes."

"I know but you need your strength...Connor will need you to be strong," Wes replied.

I crawled out of bed. The movement didn't make Connor stir. I joined Giles at the table.

"If we get lucky, we can finish the ritual before the creature returns," Giles said. "Or do you plan on going to it?"

"If I knew where it was, yes," I said, taking the cup of blood from Wes. "But thrashing around in the swamp at night is dangerous. None of us are swamp rats. Faith and I can handle ourselves but I don't want Fred, Wes or Lorne to lose a leg to an alligator. Or we could misstep and drown."

"The mangroves are nigh impassable," Wes put in. "I've never seen anything like them. The foliage is remarkably dense, hiding all sorts of dangers." Wes drummed his fingers on the table. "Of course, after last night, most of this encampment has been vacated so we have less to fear about endangering innocents."

Hearing something, I turned my head. Connor was almost awake, mumbling something nonsensical in a mix of English and demon tongue.

"Fever dreams?" Giles asked.

"Nightmares. He was back in Quor-Toth the last time," I replied. "He thought I was Holtz. I don't know...these could be his usual dreams and I wouldn't even know it."

"That's not your fault, Angel," Wes said. It was true but it didn't mean it didn't hurt.

"The sun's down," I said, going to my son. I sat with him again. "It's okay, Connor. You're safe." I gathered him up, holding him gently against my chest. He murmured, his eyes closed. Suddenly, Connor choked then nothing, no sounds.
His heart churned but his lungs had gone still. "He's not breathing " I cried.

Giles all but flew across the RV and took Connor's hand. He chanted something quickly. Connor gasped and his breathing started again. Something rattled in his chest, wet and full.

"He's not going to make it," I said, tears rolling down my face. I couldn't stop them and I didn't care.

"I'll go check on their progress." Wes hurried outside.

I tucked Connor against me, burying my face in his damp hair. It smelled oily. My tears clung to his locks like dew. Giles' hand closed over my shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

"We're not letting him go without a fight," he said. "That spell I just did should make it easier for him to breathe but it won't last long."

I looked up at him. "The worst part is, Giles, is that I'm thinking if we can't save him, he'll finally be at peace. I don't think he's ever had that."

"You can show him other kinds of peace later," Giles said with subtle optimism.

"I'm not good at being peaceful," I admitted as Wes came back in with Willow.

"We're ready, Angel," she said. "Josephine said three is a good number for her healing ceremony."

I wiped my face. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Bring him outside," Willow said. "You can help anchor him."

I gathered Connor up and Wes pulled the top sheet off the bed. Josephine had all the camp chairs moved from around the fire. She bent over next to it, stirring something in a large clay pot on the fire ring. She had changed her outfit. Her ankle length skirt seemed too bright and cheery for this night, a wild array of colors playing on the fabric. Her shirt, nearly sky blue, was trimmed with fields of white bearing large diamonds with yellow X's in them. The points of the diamonds were red and black. I couldn't count the glass bead necklaces around her thick, crepey neck and the bun of steely hair had been transformed into a rolled crown across the top of her head. She could have stepped off a postcard from a hundred years ago.

Fred and Faith stood with her, baskets of herbs in their hands. Lorne was next to the picnic table. I could see the shapes of the weaponry hidden under the red and white plastic tablecloth.

"Lay the blanket here." Josephine indicated the area cleared by the fire, perfumed with eucalyptus and pine. It sputtered and snapped brightly from the resinous wood.

Wes spread the sheet and I went to put Connor down but the old Seminole woman stopped me. "Not yet. Fred, Faith, you know what to do." The ladies spread the herbs all over the sheet. I sifted through the scents, detecting all the herbs she had wanted, especially the eucalyptus and garlic.

"He stopped breathing for a few moments just a couple of minutes ago," I told Ms. Billie. "And his heart is weakening."

"Once we start, he should do better," she replied. "You may lay him down now."

I put him down and the bruised herbs offered up their delicate scents. Connor murmured a little. Josephine knelt beside him and brushed an oil of some kind on his forehead and over his heart.

"Cypress for comfort," she said, getting to her feet again creakily. She glanced up at the sky. "And the wind to help cleanse." A strong breeze kicked up on command. Her gnarled hands took mine. "You kneel at his head and take his right hand for strength. Faith, kneel on his left and do the same." Josephine turned to my other friends. "You guard us."

"What if Stinky returns?" Faith asked. "And Angel and I have to kick its ass but we aren't done here?"

"Everyone but Willow, Giles and I can go," she replied. "Just don't move us once we are in position."

"It won't hurt Connor if I go?" I asked

"You're providing strength but it's just an added benefit. We won't be hurt if you have to leave," the healer assured me.
Feeling heartened, I knelt with Connor, taking his clammy hand. Faith did likewise, Slayer strength in the offering. Faith was a friend, more than that in some ways but I couldn't help but wish it were Buffy there holding his hand. For once in a very long time, Cordelia didn't enter my thoughts. She had contributed too much to Connor's pain for me to want her near him again, no matter how concerned I was with her own well being.

Willow stood behind me and Faith while Giles took his place at Connor's feet. They held their hands out towards each other. Josephine uttered something in Seminole and tossed a wad of golden fur into the clay bowl and another into the fire. The reek of burning hair made me wrinkle my nose. She took a colorful piece of cloth and removed the bowl from the fire ring. Its contents were amazingly aromatic.

She sat in the crook of Connor's hip, such as it was, and began chanting in what I assumed was Seminole. Giles and Willow followed suit. They must have spent some time during the day memorizing the ritual. Scents of tobacco, eucalyptus and evergreens filled my nose as Josephine dipped her hand into the herbal stew. Her chanting grew louder as she drizzled the warm elixir over Connor's forehead. She repeated the phrases, letting the fluid spatter over his heart. She hiked his shorts down enough to pour more over his navel just at the line of his wiry hair.

Josephine grabbed Faith's hand and mine, the ones holding Connor's hands. I could feel the power building, the pressure thudding inside my head. She moved to anoint his feet. Something coursed through me and into my son. From the startled _expression on Faith's face, I could tell something had happened to her, too. I chose to believe it was our strength being given to Connor who moaned a little.

As Josephine started again, following the exact pattern, my hand felt warm, almost hot. When she completed the cycle, Connor started to shake, gagging. The healer broke the connection to Faith, turning Connor onto his side as he vomited up this horrid viscous black foul-smelling fluid. It was blood and something I didn't even want to think about. I shifted away from the growing puddle.

Josephine laid him back down and started the cycle all over. She was just starting to pour the fluid over his navel again when an offensive odor permeated the air, overriding the sweet herbs and the stink of vomit. Faith and I exchanged glances. We knew that scent.

We peeled away from my son and the ritual area. The Hvcko Capko had moved into the perimeter. We couldn't let it interrupt Connor's healing. Wes snatched the tablecloth off the weapons.

"Fred, Lorne, you two stay here and guard them. Wes, you and Faith work the long distance weapons and let me move in close," I said.

"I'll handle Gunn if he shows back up," Faith said, taking both a crossbow and a dagger.

Fred swallowed hard. "Try...try not to kill him."

"That's the general plan," Faith replied.

We headed into the wind, trying to find the monster. The smell said we were getting closer. The palmettos rustled and Long Ears burst out from the underbrush. Gunn leapt out of a strangler fig tree.

"Looking better," Faith said to him. Her voice was tight. I could see her worry over this battle. She didn't want to kill Gunn but our last few fights had proved that excessive force would be needed to stop him. Faith didn't want to go that hard. I didn't blame her. She feared returning to her dark ways and Gunn had been someone she liked. Wes told me how tentative Faith had been after he helped bust her out of jail, even with demons. It reminded me of myself when I first teamed with Buffy; How mild I had been then, almost frightened to get involved. But I knew Faith would do all right.
Even as she moved toward Gunn, I heard the thwack of the crossbow. The monster keened as Wes scored a hit on its ribs. I listened as Gunn and Faith traded blows before I leapt at Long Ears with an axe. Even though it was highly doubtful that I could be infected, even mystically, I didn't want to risk touching the creature.

Wes didn't allow himself to be distracted by Gunn and Faith's battle. Faith was doing a great job at keeping Gunn away from us. Thoughts of my son dying, my not knowing how the ritual was going, galvanized me against the creature that had put Connor into such jeopardy. Dodging the creature's rapid-fire attacks with its short, stout claws, I hacked at it. It tried to flee but it had no prayer of getting away from me. Its horrible cries ended abruptly as I whacked off its head. Its body quivered, taking a few headless steps then dissolved into gray ooze.

I didn't have time to enjoy that bit of revenge. Faith cried out. I whirled to see her catch Gunn's foot in the face, dropping her. He took that opportunity to attack Wes who didn't have time to get his crossbow reloaded.

"Been waiting to do this, English." Gunn evaded Wes' punch and flattened him. He landed on Wes' chest. "You just couldn't keep your hands off Fred."

I knew neither Faith nor I, no matter how fast we were, would be able to stop Gunn from tearing out Wes' throat, not at such close range.

"Tenere gelu." Willow's voice startled us all.

A golden light enveloped Gunn. He thrashed or at least I thought he wanted to but couldn't. Willow had frozen him. She lifted her hand towards the stars and Gunn levitated. His eyes flickered around wildly, still that eerie cattish green-gold. His mouth seemed to be the only thing not frozen as he left fly with all sorts of obscenities.

Faith helped Wes up as it slowly filtered through to me that if Willow was here the ritual was over. Either my son was cured or dead.

Surprisingly, the first words out of my mouth were, "How long can you hold him, Willow?" I guessed I trusted her to tell me about my son once the danger was dealt with.

"I can hold him for a good long time," she said. "Fred's bringing something that'll help, which is of the good since my delicate ears don't need to be hearing this kind of racket, Mister." Willow spun Gunn's cocoon like a top until he was too queasy to keep up the verbal barrage.

I turned to Faith and Wes. "Are you two okay?"

"Five by five." Faith grinned with bloodied lips.

"Yes, quite." Wes shot her a wicked grin.

I spun back to Willow. "Willow?"

"He's okay, Angel." Her lips pursed. "Well, not okay. He needs to recover his strength but the spell worked."

I couldn't speak. Faith gave my arm a sisterly punch. Fred's arrival spared me having to be able to form words. She had a syringe in hand. I was betting on the sedative we had used on Connor in the early days of our flight. Willow lowered the cocoon and Fred reached into it without a problem. She injected Gunn and it didn't take long for him to go unconscious.

"What do we do with him now?" Faith asked, kicking the cocoon. Fred eyed her evilly for it.

"I wonder if the Watchers would be willing to help with Gunn as well as Cordy," Wes said.

"I'm sure they would. They already know Giles and I have been looking into it," Willow said. "Want to move him back to camp for me, Angel? He's getting heavy."

"Of course."

Willow ended the spell and I carried the unconscious man back. I knew I should have taken him into an RV but I dumped Gunn on the ground by one of them. I had to see for myself how my boy was.

"Wes, get the restraints we had for Connor and use them. Fred, we're going to have to keep Gunn snowed under just like we did Connor," I said, hoping Wolfram and Hart didn't have a direct contact magical or mental with Gunn, otherwise keeping him was going to be very dangerous.

Wes went to get the restrains and I walked to the campfire. Connor had been moved to another sheet, a crown of cypress and oak bound by hemp and dotted with some kind of flower, maybe Life-Everlasting rested on his sweat-slicked head. A lime, like a fat, green egg, was clutched in his left hand. He seemed to be asleep. I went to Josephine who sat in a camp chair, looking exhausted. "Willow said he'll be okay."

"He is amazingly strong but he's quite unique, isn't he?" She smiled wearily at me.

"Very, I don't know how to thank you, any of you," I said and Willow gave me another hug. Giles clapped a hand on my shoulder.

"Sit," the healer said and I complied. "My thanks would be if you could do things to restore the balance, to complete the circle. I know that sounds like new-age wannabe Indian tripe." She laughed softly. "But it does exist. The Creator has a proper place for all things and this boy is out of place."

"His birth..." No, I couldn't tell her about that. "Where he grew up..." Or that.

She patted my hand. "I know what you are, Angel. I can only guess what he is but that is not what I mean. A healer can share her patient's pain, know him intimately. This boy feels lost and afraid. I can see some things clearly and a word that shines like Hvresse." She stabbed a finger up at the moon. "That word is family but what he wants, I fear he can not have. You must show this child his proper place. Not all families are Father, Mother and children. To steal from the Lakota, miya taku oyasin, all things are related. Family is what you make it and I see a strong family for him right here."

"He...doesn't like me very much. He doesn't listen to me. He was taught to hate and distrust anything I do or say." It hurt so much to say it. I wanted more than anything to give my son a family but now that this healer was demanding it all my great plans for helping my son melted like sugar in a storm. All I could see was my deficiencies. "I'm not sure I can do what you want."

"You give up too easily," she said sternly, wagging a twisted finger at me. "I know what happened in L.A, at least as much as Rupert has been able to tell me. I know you were in the middle of it and that it prevented you from having time to make the proper ties that bind. This lack of balance made him ill here." She tapped her temple. "This hole in his soul made him do terrible things. I could see them inside him."

"I know. He told me he couldn't feel anything," I said, bitterly. "That he was dead inside."

"And making someone live again in spite of themselves is very hard to do but not impossible." Her dark eyes fastened on me. "You are your own best example for that."

I thought of Buffy. She made me live again.

"If it helps, Angel, I can tell him about my own shitty family," Faith said. "I mean, it's not a nice story but maybe it'll help him understand that blood alone doesn't make a family. You're the closest thing I've ever had to a brother. And the Mayor, for better or worse, a dad."

"Giles has been like a father to me, Buffy, Xander and Dawn," Willow said and I saw the older man blush, and pluck off his glasses for a cleaning.

"Sometimes it takes years of hard work to find one's proper place," Josephine said. "Families are like any relationship, if you don't work on them a little each day, they crumble. You might think about ways to work on it."

I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "There're so many people depending on me. The Powers that Be, constantly jerking me around. I know I can't keep running. I have to deal with Wolfram and Hart eventually but does that leave me time to help him like he needs?"

"You think you're the only parent who has felt like this?" Josephine asked.

Her whole countenance was harsh and I looked away. Why was I making excuses? She was telling me what I wanted to hear, go be the family Connor so desperately needed. It was hard work and hate it or not, I was good at avoiding emotional work. Angelus was better at it, more dedicated. He held a family together. For the first time ever, I needed to be a little more like my demon and less like my Liam's Soul core. "I'm not sure a dead creature, souled or not, can be a proper father. I can't breathe life into my son. That's why I tried to put him with a real family."

"Magic, sometimes it's good like the healing power of Panther. Other times, it's just too easy, too tempting." Josephine tapped my hand. "Quick fixes lead to quick break downs. The best thing you can do is to remove the magic and let the family he had come back to him."

I shook my head. "The problem is ever since Holtz took him, we haven't been a family. We tore ourselves into bits." I glanced at Lorne, Wes and Fred who shifted uneasily. Even memory altered, they felt the truth of that.

"And what happens when you build the rest of your lives on a lie?" Josephine looked up at the stars. "Do you truly want to thank me?"

"I do but I don't know how to remove the spell," I said then went back to the decision I had made when I started this whole rescue. "Willow? Giles?"

"We can do it," Willow said without hesitation.

Giles nodded as he moved towards Connor. He stared at him then ran a finger through the air. "If we start pulling here, that should work."

I couldn't see what they did but the two of them worked the air, speaking in Greek. They sweated and trembled, already tired from the other ritual. I hadn't meant for them to do it right away but it was too late to say stop. The chanting tapered off and I could tell from everyone's faces it had worked. Wes slumped to the ground, nearly sitting on the restrained Gunn.

"Oh God, what did I do?" Wes cried.

"Angel, he tried to kill you," Fred said, putting her arms around the nearest person, Lorne, who for once, seemed stunned into silence.

"I do remember him...Angel, I didn't tell anyone about him, not Giles, not Buffy," Willow said softly, as if surprised at herself.

"And he didn't beat me." Faith grinned, smacking her fist into her palm. "I knew it."

Josephine looked at me. "Now your real work has begun."

I knew how right she was.

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