Fallen AngelsBy Kristi
The Unexpected
@--Buffy--@
“We know who’s behind it now, let’s dig Acathla up ourselves, smash him to pieces and then deal with Drusilla’s minions when they get here.” My plan sounds perfectly reasonable to me. No Acathla, no portal to Hell, no one gets sucked in.
We are back in the Magic Box holding a Scooby meeting to keep everyone abreast of the new information Angel and I found.
“Really, that’s rather a good idea.” Wes says.
“I spent a hundred years with Dru. She’s not thinking of this all on her own. There’s someone else behind it. Dru doesn’t have the attention span for this kind of venture. She’d think about doing it and then get distracted by the damn stars.” Angel argues.
“Maybe your right, Angel, even if you are, what harm does it do to shatter Acathla beyond recognition?” I ask. Why does he always have to be the reasonable one with the reasonable plan that finds out all the answers before he rushes in.
“We’ll never find out who’s behind it if we do that.” Angel explains again. He’s got the same tone people use with very young children and it irritates me.
“You know what? I really don’t care who the hell is behind it. I want Acathla smashed into so many pieces that he can’t ever be awakened. I lost you to him once. I had to kill you and send you to hell. It almost killed me. I can’t do that again.” I’m yelling and I know I should keep my voice down, but I can’t help it. Why can’t he get it through his thick head I just want Acathla gone? I feel the tears gathering in my eyes and I don’t want to lose it in front of everyone. I run out of the shop, slamming the door behind me. I don’t know where I’m going. I just run. When I finally stop I’m at the mansion on Crawford Street. My chest is heaving from running so far. I wrap my arms around myself and swallow my sobs. He’s coming after me, I knew he would. I feel him long before his arms wrap around my waist and pull me close. He holds me like that for a little while, letting me take comfort in him.
“You know what the hardest part of sending you to hell was?” He doesn’t answer me and I know he’s waiting for me to continue, to get it all out. We’ve never really talked about this. He didn’t want to talk about things like that when he found me. “It was the way you looked at me. You didn’t accuse me, you didn’t hate me. With your last look you loved me, you trusted me. It haunted me for months. It still haunts me.”
“Buffy, I didn’t know what was going on, but I know you and I knew there was a reason for what you did. The last thing I heard before going to Hell was you saying you loved me. I remembered that long after I forgot my own name. You were the only thing that kept me remotely sane in Hell.”
“What was it like?” I ask.
He sighs. At least he’s not going to avoid the question this time. “Buffy,” He pauses again. “There are different levels of Hell, for different degrees of evil. The Master once called Angelus the most evil creature he’d ever known. The worst level of Hell was reserved for him.”
“But Angelus didn’t go to Hell, you did.” My voice is small and I am beginning to wonder if I really want to know this.
“All the more fun for the demons down there.” He is trying to keep his voice calm so I don’t hear the pain in it, but I’ve known him to long. I love him to much.
I start to apologize but there is no apology and I know that he wouldn’t have had me do it any different. There was no choice. If my blood would have closed Acathla’s mouth I would have gladly jumped in the portal, just as I jumped into the portal to save Dawn’s life. Only Angel’s blood would close it. It was him or the world. I’m the slayer. I don’t have the luxury of choosing my love. I didn’t then and I don’t now. That’s why I can’t sleep until Acathla is dust.
“Hell is worse then you can imagine, Buffy. There aren’t words to describe the horrors to you and I wouldn’t want to give you those images even if there were. We’re going to stop Drusilla. She won’t ever get a chance to raise Acathla. You won’t have to send me to Hell again, I promise. So why all the questions about it?”
@--Angel--@
“Because if I die, I want to know what to expect.” Her voice is soft and filled with doubt and hurt.
I am taken completely speechless. How long has she thought this? I know I need to say something to her. I need to tell her that there is no way she will ever know Hell. I can’t. I can’t form the words. Rage floods over me and I don’t know what to do with it. There’s no one to direct it at. I tremble and fight for the right words to say.
“Buffy, how can you think you will ever go to Hell? Who told you that you would go to Hell?” Give me a name I want to beg her, give me someone or something to kill. Whoever it was will pay for making her think for one second of her precious short life that she will spend an eternity in Hell.
She shakes her head and I can hear tears hitch her breath. “God let me go. He didn’t have to. I think maybe I wasn’t good enough for Heaven, like it was a mistake I got there in the first place.”
I turn her to face me. I place my finger under her chin and tilt her head up to look in my eyes. “Look at me. I don’t know why God let you come back. I won’t even pretend to know. Maybe it was just that it wasn’t your time yet. You died in Dawn’s place. You weren’t supposed to be there. I was allowed to come back from Hell because I still had things to do. Maybe you were allowed to come back from Heaven for the same reasons. I do know one thing though; you will never see the inside of Hell. God doesn’t let his angels down like that.”
“Even the fallen ones?” She asks in that tiny little girl lost voice that breaks my heart.
“Especially the fallen ones.” I answer.
I wrap myself around her and hold her while the night slowly creeps toward the day. It is a long time before she speaks again.
“I think I got to come back to have this with you. It was my reward.” She says.
“It’s mine too.” I smile at her and we start the walk back to Willow’s house.
“Besides, God probably got tired of me crying in Heaven because you weren’t there. I don’t think crying is allowed.”
Willow is awake and brewing a pot of coffee when we walk in.
“Morning. Everything okay?” She asks.
“Yeah, we just got to talking, didn’t realize how close to sunrise we were pushing it.” Buffy says. She takes a deep breath. “The coffee smells good.”
“Have some if you want. I’m going to get dressed and go into the Magic Box.” Willow says.
“Could you talk to some of the men at Xander’s company, or have him do it. I’d like to go ahead and get some excavation equipment up at the Acathla site. I want to go ahead and dig it up. I don’t want to risk it falling into Drusilla’s hands just so we can find out who all the players are.” I say. Buffy smiles at me. We haven’t discussed this but if it helps her sleep better it’s worth it.
“Sure. I’ll give them a call before I leave the house. They should be able to have it dug up before the day is over.” Willow says.
“Good. Thank you. Have them put it in the courtyard of the mansion. I’ll call the caretaker and let him know Harris Construction will be bringing something by. Have them leave a couple of sledge hammers at the mansion also. We’re going to finish this tonight.”
“Oooo, do I get to use one? I’m really good at the whole grounding bones to dust. I figure stone and bones are pretty much the same when you hit it with a sledge hammer.” Buffy says.
“I’ll stand back and watch you.” I pull her to me and place a kiss on her lips. She wraps her arms around me and pulls me in deeper. I hear Willow sneak out of the kitchen and back up the stairs. I tug Buffy closer, needing to remind her of the reasons she’s here and not in Heaven. She wraps her legs around my waist and I carry her upstairs.
*
The insistent ringing of the phone wakes us up hours later. The sun is hanging low in the sky. I answer it, trying to erase the sleep from my voice. “Harris residence.”
“Angel, I think you and Buffy need to come out here.” Willow sounds upset.
“Willow, what’s wrong?” I ask. Buffy sits up beside me. I can smell the instant fear coming off of her in waves.
“Acathla is gone.”