Falling Into You
By Spike SpeigelWhen He Was Bad
“Wait. Let me get this straight. Rocco is Spike?” Xander was pacing the carpet while Buffy and Anya sat on the couch. Buffy was right though. Xander wasdefinitely wigging out. Anya on the other hand seemed pretty happy with the news. After all, she was the one that thought Rocco was Spike in the first place. And
Anya being right about something always made her happy. Xander stopped pacing, turning to the two women on the couch. “So, does this mean he’s gonna get all
violent like Angel when he came back?” Buffy smiled at her friend. Leave it to Xander to find only the negative in a vampire coming back from the dead.
“He’s not going to get all violent and broody. That was Angel’s deal.” Buffy didn’t realize what she had said until the words came out of her mouth. She was
actually placing Spike over Angel. Funny thing was, she didn’t think any worse of it. “Anyway, Spike’s human now. Well, kinda human.” Anya decided to chime
in.
“He could be a male Slayer.” Buffy and Xander looked at the ex-vengeance demon parading as a bride to be. Buffy hadn’t even considered that possibility. Was
there a line of male Slayers? She’d have to discuss this idea with Giles when she got the chance. Xander interrupted his moment of quiet with more panic.
“Wait, there are male Slayers now?” Buffy was about to answer but Anya responded first.
“There have been rumors, though nothing substantiated.” To say that Buffy was shocked was an understatement. After all, Anya knew more about the demon
realm than any of them. Maybe even Giles. And Slayers fell under the category of demon realm.
“Really?” Anya nodded her head and continued her narrative.
“If I remember correctly, the Council of Watchers had a dispute and divided into two sects. Sometime around the 1400s. This was when they first got into the
Slayer game.” Buffy nodded.
“That sounds about right. I remember Giles saying something about Slayers being around way before the Council came into existence. So, what happened?” Anya
could see that Buffy was interested in something she was saying, so she continued on. Xander, also interested in Anya’s tale, sat down on the armchair adjacent to
the couch. Anya continued.
“Well, the division was rumored to be because of the Slayer lineage. Apparently not all of the Council members believed in a female Slayer. You know, that sexist
crap.” Buffy nodded her head in acknowledgment. With her encounters with the Council, she always felt that they treated her as nothing more than an object.
Sexism seemed to explain a lot about their behavior, in a weird sort of way. “So, the majority of the Council followed the male Slayer while the minority fell in
behind the female Slayer. However, something went wrong on the male side.”
“What?” Xander was intrigued in Anya’s telling, almost as if he was listening to some sort of twisted fairy tale.
“In the late 1700s, the male Slayer at the time went to the dark side.” Buffy wasn’t really sure what Anya meant.
“What do you mean dark side? You mean like Faith dark side? Or Darth Vader dark side?”
“Oh, please. Darth Vader was a puppy compared to this one.” Buffy hadn’t realized that her hands begun to shake when she heard Anya’s comment until she
looked down. She stilled her hands, listening intently. “According to what I’ve heard, this Slayer was extremely gifted. Skilled sorcerer, well versed in hand-to-
hand combat, and much more powerful than any Slayer that came before him. You name it, he had it.”
“Sounds like slaying would be almost beneath him.” Buffy looked at Xander, taking in his statement. If Buffy had power like that, would she relegate herself to just
slaying? Or would she do something else with power like that? She pushed the thought out of her head, listening as Anya continued.
“It was. He got tired of being the Council’s private watchdog. So, he killed them.” Xander shook his head in disbelief.
“Just like that?”
“Just like that. In a matter of months, the majority of the Council members were put in the ground. And the minority became the majority.” Buffy spoke, her voice
a mere whisper now.
“You mean the members that took the female Slayer’s side.”
“That’s right. However, this wasn’t enough for the male Slayer. He didn’t feel that he was in the clear until all of the Council members were taken care of.” Anya
spoke matter of factly, not knowing how much fear and worry this story was having on Buffy. “He went after the other sect members, killed a good deal of them
before he was stopped.” Xander had to know.
“How could they stop someone that powerful? If he had the magic and physical going for him, what could possibly stop him?” Buffy knew the answer.
“The female Slayer.” Anya turned to Buffy, a look of surprise on her face.
“You’ve heard this before?” Buffy meekly smiled.
“Lucky guess.” It was nothing but. In the years that she had been a Slayer, she’d faced unbeatable evil and somehow managed to overcome. Even if it meant her
life, she always prevailed. She looked at Anya after the moment of silence. “Keep going.”
“Okay. Well, the remaining Council members sent the female Slayer to combat the male Slayer. It didn’t look like she’d be able to stop him, but she did.”
“How?” Buffy was the one that asked this time while Xander sat silently.
“It’s not really clear. There have been mentions of an energy gate that the female Slayer used.” Xander spoke.
“You mean like a hell gate?” Anya shook her head.
“Don’t know. Could have been, I guess. But that’s pretty much what happened.” Something about the story was troubling Buffy now.
“So, the line ended with him?” Anya stretched her legs from the couch, feeling a cramp coming on.
“That’s what some people say. Others say that the line continued on, but each time a new male Slayer was chosen, the Council would kill that person before they
realized what power they truly had.” Xander took a deep breath.
“My God.” Buffy spoke, her voice monotonous.
“God has nothing to do with the Council. Sounds like them, though. Killing something they feared or couldn’t control.” Times like these, Buffy couldn’t believe that
Giles was one of them. He didn’t act like them, of course. But the fact that he still believed in what they did make her wonder sometimes. “So, is that all, Anya?
Female stops male and all is peaches and cream?” Anya nodded.
“Pretty much. But remember, this is all just conjecture. You should really talk to Giles. He might know more.” Buffy smiled at Anya.
“I will.” After hearing this story, knowing whether there was fact behind it or not would either make her feel troubled or very relieved. Hopefully, it was the latter.
She looked up at the clock, seeing that it was way past time for her to begin her nightly patrol. She looked at Xander now. “Well, you think you can play along for
now with this whole Spike Rocco thing?” Xander chuckled softly.
“I’ll play, little lady. But only because it’s you. Anyone else and I’d be the first to dust that vampire.” Buffy threw him a playful frown.
“He’s not a vampire anymore. So no staking. Promise?” Buffy got up from the couch, still keeping her eyes on Xander.
“Okay, okay. I promise.” Buffy leaned over and was about to kiss Xander on the cheek. However, she thought better of it since Anya was in the room. She
might think that Buffy was trying to take her man. Instead, she hugged him.
“Good.” She turned back to Anya, noting that she was still smiling. That was good. “Same goes for you too.”
“No problem. I can keep a secret. Just like the time Xander and I had sex in your bathroom. I never told anyone about that.” Xander shook his head in disbelief,
a look of disgust washing over Buffy’s face. Buffy turned back to Xander, Xander reading her look.
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t talk.”
“Thanks. Well, I’m off to protect the headstones of Sunnydale. Wish me luck.” Xander chuckled softly.
“Good luck, Buff.” Unfortunately for them, they had no idea how much luck she’d really need that night.
“Tell me everything.” Spike crossed his arms across his chest, watching the small old man take a seat in the living room. He was initially taken aback by the tail
swinging next to the old man’s leg, but he knew that there was more to Sunnydale that met the eye.
“What do you want to know?” Spike growled disgust.
“Just told you. You deaf?” Doc smiled at him, almost a gentle caring smile. But his eyes said differently.
“No, what I meant was, what do you want to hear first.” He saw that Spike was having trouble with the whole situation so he decided to make things easier for
Spike. “Okay, let’s start from London and work our way back to Sunnydale. Is that okay with you?” Spike nodded agreement, a look of frustration evident on
his face. “Alright then. Let’s begin. What’s the first thing you remember during your time in London?” Spike was getting fed up now with Doc.
“I thought you were going to tell me everything?”
“Well, there’s no reason to reiterate what’s already known. Wouldn’t you agree?” Spike saw the logic in the old man’s thinking. He furrowed his brow, trying to
remember.
“I remember bars. Almost like I was in a cage.” He looked down at the ground as he said this. Doc’s chuckling brought his gaze back up.
“That’s because you were.” Spike was about to ask how he knew such things but decided to listen to the entire story before he decided to believe him or not.
“So, what was I doing there and who kept me there?”
“You were a prisoner of the Watcher’s Council.” The same people that Buffy followed. Obeyed. Spike shook the thought away before he started doubting Buffy
herself. “They captured you. Wanted to experiment on you.” Doc smiled, his tail moving faster. “Wanted to cut into you. But I didn’t let them.” He didn’t expect
that response.
“So, you’re the one that got me out?” He didn’t remember any of it.
“That’s right. I told you. We’re very close, you and I. Almost brotherly you could say.” Doc flashed him a warm smile, his eyes still in human form. Spike waved
his hand, indicating for Doc to continue. “I got you out of there, got papers drawn up and told you to go to Sunnydale where I’d meet up with you. But imagine my
surprise when I saw you and you didn’t remember me.” Spike flashed back to the corner mart, when he had first met Buffy and Dawn. He thought he had seen an
old man eyeing him curiously. Maybe the old coot was telling the truth.
“But why would I lose my memory?” It was a valid question. If Doc and Buffy were a part of his past, why would he forget?
“The Council did something to your head. Something with that chip. The one that prevents you from doing harm to humans.” This sounded like a science fiction
farce now.
“’Fraid you’ve lost me now, mate.” Doc let out a tiny laugh as he got up. He walked over to his bag, opening it. He could see that Spike was on the alert now.
“Still think I’m the bad guy.” Doc pulled out a small orb from the bag, placing it on the table. Spike eyed it, thinking it looked familiar. “It’s the Eye of Veritas. It’ll
show you the way.” Spike was uncertain about what Doc meant. He motioned for Spike to come closer to the table. He did.
“So, what do I do?”
“It works on emotion. Think it, and all will be revealed.” Spike considered his words.
“So, this can show the future?” Doc laughed.
“If it could, I’d have used it long ago on Wall Street.” Spike shook his head. This guy definitely didn’t have all his marbles. “Just think about the chip and you’ll
see what it wants you to see.” Spike didn’t like the sound of that. Selective memory. But it was better than nothing. He took a breath, his hands hovering over the
sphere. He was about to reconsider but Doc’s hand came down on his, forcing them onto the orb. The orb became luminescent, filling the living room with white
light. Spike screamed in pain, white light flowing from his eyes. Doc removed his hand and smiled.
“You sure you don’t know where they are? Maybe you just misplaced them.” Tara flipped the cushions back onto the couch as she spoke. Giles was still looking
around feverishly for his notebook. Without the notes from this morning’s session, he wouldn’t be able to help Spike. Or Buffy.
“I quite distinctly remember putting them back into my bag once we were done.” Dawn joined in the search as well, looking in the kitchen. However, if Giles lost a
book in the kitchen, that would be an obvious sign that he was going senile. Giles stopped moving, trying to recollect what he had done earlier in the day.
“I came in. Placed my things on the coffee table. Took the notes from the session. Put everything back in the bag. God, what am I missing?” Giles ran his hand
through his hair, frustrated that he couldn’t remember.
“Don’t worry, Giles. I’m sure we’ll find it.” Tara smiled meekly at him. “After all, the house is only so big. Can’t have that many places to hide.” Giles weakly
smiled.
“Guess you have a point.” Giles was about to rummage through his bag again when Dawn called from the kitchen.
“Giles. Tara. You gotta see this.” They gave each other a wondering glance before they walked into the kitchen. They arrived to see Dawn kneeling at the base of
the kitchen door. However, no book was in sight.
“What is it, Dawn?” Giles walked over to Dawn, moving down on one knee. Tara stood behind the two as Dawn pointed.
“I don’t think this belongs here.” Giles eyed the object carefully for a moment. “Do you?” He knew that Dawn was right. He turned back to Tara.
“Could you get me a paper towel or something?” Tara nodded and moved to the kitchen sink. She pulled a sheet of paper from the dispenser and handed it to
Giles. “Thank you.” Giles gently removed the object from the doorframe, wondering how it got embedded there in the first place. Tara was curious now.
“What is it?” Giles stood up, revealing the thick green scale to her.
“I’m not sure. But I’ve the feeling that it’s not good news.”
Spike didn’t know when he stopped screaming but whatever Doc had said about the orb was right. As though he was there, he saw the Initiative doctors placing
the chip in his head, he being sedated on the table, being cut open like a pig. Spike definitely didn’t like these bastards. Before he could process what was going on
in the operation room, the world shifted, dissolved away, until he was somewhere else. He was in a large room, most likely a gathering place based on the number
of seats. Then the voice from behind him. He turned around to see a blonde woman, most likely in her forties, with a lab coat on.
“This is your objective. Sub-T: 67119. Demon class: Polgara species. Though visual confirmation has not yet been made, we're confident of the target's
approximate position as it leaves behind a distinct protein marker. Dr. Angleman will brief you on its defenses.” As she sat down, another person moved toward
the overhead, laying another transparency over the previous one.
“When threatened . . . bone skewers jut from the creature's forearms during battle. It's imperative when ensnaring it not to damage its arms. That's all you really
need to know.” Spike began to wonder why he was seeing this. After all, this really had nothing to do with him. Unless he was related to one of those Polgara
things. That’s when he heard her voice.
“Question.” Spike spun back around only to see Buffy there, her hand up. His heart almost sank. Was she responsible for putting the chip in his head? Was she
the reason that he was no longer a man but a mere object? A plaything? As he thought about this, the room faded once again, reemerging to a place that felt
familiar to him. Once again he heard her. “What the hell are you doing?”
He turned to the right and saw her standing there with him. He looked different though. He was wearing her jacket and his hair was slicked back, peroxide
blonde. He couldn’t believe that he would ever have his hair like that. He looked on in awe, still not used to his life being displayed to him like this.
“Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you want to dance.” He was holding her arms now, pulling her closer to him. Spike made his way closer to the couple,
feeling uncomfortable seeing himself acting like that. If he didn’t know better, he would say that he was frustrated. He positioned himself so he was situated by their
side now, able to see both of their faces. If he knew better, he’d say that Buffy felt uncomfortable being that close to him. But that didn’t make sense. She seemed
to almost enjoy being with him that night in the pizza place. And the kiss they shared in her living room. That didn’t feel like she was uncomfortable. She spoke,
interrupting his train of thought.
“Say it's true. Say I do want to.” Spike could see the relief, the hope in his eyes as Buffy spoke to him. However, it didn’t last long. A wave of disbelief washed
over him as he saw Buffy shoving him back onto the pavement. The look in her eyes was no longer one of awkwardness. It had been replaced by one of hatred
and disgust. “It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be you.” He looked on as she threw money into his face. “You’re beneath me.”
And with that, she walked away into the darkness. Spike, taken aback, took a deep breath. He turned around to examine himself, the one on the ground. To say
that he was disturbed when he saw the leather clad version of himself break down into tears while gathering up the money would be an understatement. Spike
closed his eyes, no longer wishing to see what the Eye had in store. However, his wish wasn’t heard. As he opened his eyes again, he was no longer in the
alleyway. Instead, he found himself outside of a large building.
Emergency services looked as though they had been dispatched, a frozen block being wheeled out of the building. All that for a block of ice? Definitely weird.
Spike knew there was a reason he was being made to see this, so he looked around. Looked for her. Sure enough, there she was, walking away from the crowd.
She was walking away with him. He couldn’t hear what they were saying so he decided to get closer. As he approached them, he could finally hear what they
were saying. He was the first to speak.
“A man can change.” Buffy stopped walking, turning around to face him. Spike noted that he was wearing the leather jacket and blonde hair once again.
“You’re not a man. You’re a thing.” Spike couldn’t believe it. Those words coming from her. Once was coincidence. But twice? She turned away once again,
making her way away from him as quickly as possible. It was obvious to Spike now. She hated him. He continued looking, seeing himself grab Buffy by the
shoulder, looking frustrated once again.
“Stop walking away.”
“Don’t touch me!” Spike definitely didn’t expect what would come next. She turned around and punched him hard in the face. He punched her back, watching as
she fell to the ground. Spike was confused now when he didn’t see himself yell in pain. Wait. Did he remember what the chip did to him? He remembered the
chip being the bane of his existence. Not being able to be himself. But he was wrong because he saw himself scream in pain. Maybe it was a delay. Buffy got
back up to her feet and hit him again. While he was in pain. Spike couldn’t help but think to himself that this Buffy was not the same one he had met days ago. But
what if it was? Spike looked on as Buffy spoke to his former self. “You’re a thing. An evil, disgusting, thing.”
She walked away again. It was too much to bear. He didn’t want to see anymore. He found that his eyes were filled with tears now, watching his former self
kneeling on the ground. Spike whispered to no one in particular. “No more.” The scene faded away once again. However, this time, he was back in his
apartment, Doc standing next to him. Spike quickly released the orb, stumbling backward. Spike found himself fumbling for words. “Thought…thought you said
it’d show me about the chip.” Doc spoke matter of factly.
“Told you it worked on emotion. Apparently, you were thinking about something else.” Spike turned to Doc, noting the smile on his face. “Someone else?” Spike
hated the fact that he was reading him so easily. “So, did it work? Did you fill in any of the blanks?” Spike had to know.
“The Slayer. How does she fit in with me? Kept seeing her.” Doc smiled.
“She wants to kill you.” Spike looked at Doc, noting that he was being serious now. “But they won’t let her, the Council. They need you back.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re a monster. Because you’re a killer.” Doc moved closer to Spike, his tail hanging to his side. “Because you have something they want.”
“And what’s that?”
“Not really sure. Had to get you out before they cut you up into little bits.” Doc picked up the orb, rolling it in his hands. “Guess we could go back and let them
though. If you want, of course.” Spike threw him a disgusted look. “Or not.”
“Alright. Answer me this. I’ve been close to the Slayer a few times now, and she hasn’t taken me to the Council. Why?” It was a good question. Why would
Buffy act so friendly around him now when she clearly didn’t in the past?
“Because that’s your weakness.” Spike moved backward, finding the couch behind him. He gave Doc a questioning glance. “Every man’s weakness. A beautiful
woman.”
“So, you’re saying what?”
“She can’t kill you, so she’s doing the next best thing.” Doc moved the orb to his other hand, tossing it as though it were a tennis ball. “She’s playing with you.
With your emotions.” Spike tilted his head, considering the old man’s words. “Imagine how much joy she’ll feel when she breaks you. When she betrays you.”
Spike could see it all in his head. Buffy getting close to him, then pulling the rug out by turning him over to the Council. He couldn’t place the emotion that was
swelling inside him. “Question is, what are you going to do about it?” Spike looked up, finally identifying the emotion.
“Guess I’ll have to go talk it out with her, eh?” Doc smiled, holding the sphere in his hand.
“Care for another trip?” Spike got up, shaking his head in the process.
“That’s okay, mate. Maybe later.” Spike walked past Doc, moving toward the door. “Tell me though.” Doc turned back to him. “Know where I can get a pair
of boots this time of night?” Doc laughed softly.
“I think I can, at that. I think I can.”
Spike followed the directions Doc had given him. If what he told him was true, then the place should be somewhere close. As Spike walked deeper into the
cemetery, he saw it. It was a bit run down, but what did he expect. It was in a cemetery. Spike pushed the door to the crypt open, a wave of nostalgia washing
over him. The room looked so familiar. The tomb to the side. The chair in front of the television. Almost like coming home.
Spike moved further in, his eyes falling on the imperfection in the ground. He knelt down, pushing the stone slab away from the opening. Spike expected it to smell
of death and decay, but it didn’t. It smelt faintly of her. Curious. But he wasn’t here to reminisce. He had come for something else. Spike peered into the dark
hole before he made his way down the ladder.
He looked around for a light source to illuminate the darkness. What was that, a lamp? Spike walked over to it, turning the knob between his thumb and index
finger. He was surprised when it came on. Well, guess it made some sense. After all, there was a television upstairs. Spike stood still, taking in his surroundings.
Another tomb. A bed. A weapons case. Numerous candles. A nightstand. The picture frame on the nightstand got his attention, though. He walked over and
picked it up. The sight was not one he was expecting to see. It was Buffy. A happy Buffy. A smiling Buffy. But why would he have a picture like this?
“You git. She was probably playing you even before you lost your bloody memory.” But why would he let her? If that truly were the case, wouldn’t he have
known better than to associate himself with her? He shook his head, moving to put the picture back. He wasn’t sure why he looked at it again. It felt like ages until
he finally put it back down. “Right. Now, if I were footwear, where would I be?”
He knelt down next to the bed, looking underneath it. Nothing. He slowly walked through the room, looking around as he did so. According to Doc, this was his
place. And from what he saw in the Eye of Veritas, Spike was into boots and dark colors. He knew he didn’t really need them, but why go halfway. He wanted
to savor the look on her face.
Spike almost missed it as he walked deeper into the under belly of the crypt. A wooden closet set into the corner. “Well, well. Let’s see what we got here.” He
moved to the closet, pulling the doors slowly open. He couldn’t help but focus his eyes on it. His hand went instinctively to the shirt, pulling it from the hanger. He
remembered wearing this for another woman. “Drusilla.”
The name sounded familiar. He didn’t know why he spoke it, but it felt right. Then he saw it in his mind. The same alley. The same building. He was there, with
her. With Buffy. He was wearing the same red shirt, leather coat over it. They were singing? Maybe. But he definitely remembered the kiss. The kiss and her
words before they did.
“This isn’t real. But I just want to feel.”
Spike shook his head, the memory shaking him to the very core. The anger was swelling inside him now. And he found himself welcoming it. “Bitch wants to feel.
I’ll give her something to bloody feel.” He grinned as he looked off into the distance, focusing on nothing in particular.
Xander and Anya had knocked on the door, but no one answered. Xander tried once again. Anya was holding the gift in her hands. A gift for Giles. They were
the only ones that hadn’t seen him yet. Xander was anxious to see the Watcher again while Anya was fearful.
“You’re sure he’s not back for the store?” Xander turned and smiled at his fiancée.
“An, I think that’s the last thing on his mind right now.” Still no answer at the door. He was about to knock again when the door swung open. Tara stood there, a
small smile playing across her face as she saw them standing there.
“Hey guys. What are you doing here?” Tara moved away from the doorway, allowing Xander and Anya to enter. Xander took off his coat and hung it on the coat
rack while Anya moved past Tara.
“Here to see Giles. Is he around?” Tara nodded.
“Yeah, but he’s kinda busy right now.” Xander saw the troubled look on her face.
“Anything wrong?”
“Oh, Giles lost some notes. But he’s trying to identify something in the living room right now.” Upon hearing the words, Anya made her way into the living room,
seeing Dawn and Giles going through various texts.
“Giles!” Giles and Dawn turned their gaze away from the pages and to Anya. Giles got up, a smile on his face.
“Hello, Anya.” Before she could state her usual greeting, Giles decided to assuage her fears. “I’m not here for the shop.” At first, Anya was puzzled, but smiled
afterwards. She stuck her arms out, offering the gift to him.
“It’s a crystal ball. We had a surplus.” Giles frowned as Dawn giggled softly.
“Well. Thank you, Anya. I’ll have to put it with my…” He sighed. “Other crystal balls.” He put the wrapped box down and proceeded to hug her. At that
moment, Xander and Tara walked into the living room.
“Hey, Watcher man. You trying to feel up my girl?” Giles smiled, releasing Anya.
“No fears, Xander. Just a friendly hug.” Xander chuckled as he hugged the Watcher. As they broke the embrace, Xander spoke.
“So, Tara tells me you misplaced some notes. Sounds like senility’s setting in pretty early.” Giles gave him a startled look while Anya took a seat next to Dawn,
looking into the text.
“What are you looking for anyway?” Dawn answered.
“Something that leaves these around.” Dawn held up the scale for Anya for a closer look. Xander looked over Giles’ shoulder, not believing what he was seeing.
He walked past Giles, moving to the two women.
“Could I see that?” Dawn nodded and handed the scale to him. Xander held it to the light to get a better view. It was what he thought it was. “Is this what you’re
trying to examine?” Giles turned around.
“Yes.” Tara moved closer to Giles, interested in what was going on.
“You can stop then. I know exactly where this came from.” The urgency in his voice made Tara nervous.
“Where?” Xander never took his eyes off the green scale.
“Doc.” Giles and Dawn gave Xander a worried look.
“Are you sure? I mean, very sure?” Xander nodded.
“Oh yeah. No way I’ll ever forget that piece of work.” How could he? He had put a sword into Doc’s chest when he and Spike were fighting for the scrolls.
Dawn spoke.
“I don’t believe I didn’t make the connection.” Xander looked at Dawn, smiling even though he knew the situation was too dire for one right about now.
“It’s okay, Dawn. I probably wouldn’t want to remember the guy that got all knife happy with me too.” Dawn cringed at the words, but he was right. That night
on the tower had been the worst. First, watching Spike hopelessly fight for her and fail. Then being bled by Doc. Finally watching Buffy jump. Giles spoke,
breaking the silence.
“So, he somehow made his way in here and took my notes?” Giles was puzzled now. “But why?” Dawn filled in the missing piece for him.
“He and Spike have some kind of connection.” Giles turned to Dawn.
“How so?”
“He remembered Spike coming back. Coming back as Rocco.” The words slowly worked their way into everyone’s minds. Giles spoke.
“What…what are you saying?” Dawn closed the book, walking over to Giles.
“He knew that Spike would come back.” Giles shook his head, a troubled look on his face.
“So, he has a certain interest in Spike then.” Tara didn’t like where this was going.
“But why?” Giles spoke, looking at no one in particular.
“That is the question.” He adjusted his glasses, afraid to find out the answer.
Buffy was making her nightly round through the cemetery when she came up to his tombstone. However, this time, she didn’t feel a sense of loss. She only smiled.
“Guess this will be the last time I come back here.” She looked to Spike’s headstone. “Seeing as you’re alive, that is.” She smiled gently to herself. He was alive.
He was foggy in the memory department. But he was alive. All she had to do now was wait. If he could wait for her, she’d wait for him. No matter how long it
took.
She stood there; looking at the place she had spent many nights after he died, when she heard a noise behind her. She quickly turned around, stake in hand.
However, she lowered it as soon as she saw who her would be attacker was.
“Hello, luv.” Buffy was a bit surprised to see him. Well, not see him. Just see him in those clothes. He had a black tee shirt on, black jeans, a pair of black boots
and a red shirt. Also, was his hair slicked back? Maybe this was a sign of his memory coming back. She smiled at him, slowly walking toward him.
“Hey there. You taking another shortcut again?” Spike smiled at her, hating himself for doing it.
“Something like that, pet. So, visiting your friend again?” To say he was angry was an understatement. The charade they had devised was elaborate all right. They
even bought a bloody headstone to complete the picture. Had to give the bitch credit, she knew how to act.
“Yeah. But I’m heading home soon.” She stood in front of him, jacket flowing about her body in the wind. “Wanna get something to drink? I’m feeling a little parched.” He hated the way she smiled at him. As though she actually cared for him. But he knew better. Time to end this twisted game.
“Sure thing. But I gotta do something first.”
“What’s that?” She never saw the punch coming. He connected with her face, his other hand on her shoulder, twirling her around. As the momentum spun her
around, Spike grabbed the coat away from her body. Buffy hit the ground, looking up in shock. She saw Spike as he casually slipped his coat on, completing the
picture for her.
“Rocco? What are you doing?” She felt uncomfortable when she saw his smile. The grin. It looked so familiar. The laugh, however, made her shiver.
“Still on that, eh?” He pulled the coat closer around his body, the red shirt only visible by the collar. “Sorry, luv. Name’s not Rocco.” He paused for effect. He
wanted her to understand what was going on. “It’s Spike.” Buffy felt her heart sink, fear filling her being. He remembered his name, but he was treating her as a
hostile. As an enemy.
“You remember?” Spike scoffed at her comment. She was coming clean. But it was too late.
“Yeah. With a little help from my friend.” Buffy was confused. Who could he have possibly meant? Buffy got up from the ground slowly, never taking her eyes off
Spike.
“Look, we should go see Giles. He’ll be able to help you.” Another disconcerting laugh.
“Yeah. Like he did when he hid these from me?” He tossed the notebook to Buffy’s feet. Buffy didn’t like where this was all heading. “You know, I’m gonna
enjoy this.”
“Enjoy what?” Buffy backed up slowly; uncomfortable with the look Spike was giving her now.
“Killing you, you stupid bint.” He never stopped smiling as he spoke. Buffy felt her breath catch in her throat. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not when
she was so close to getting him back.
“Spike, you don’t have to do this. You’re not a monster. Let’s just go see Giles so we can fix this.” Spike began laughing softly now. Buffy felt a mix of confusion
and trepidation sweep over her.
“Not a monster? How’s this, then?” Spike tilted his head, his face changing, morphing. Buffy’s mouth dropped open as she saw the sight. His forehead became lumpy, his teeth grew. However, his eyes didn’t turn yellow. They remained dark blue. She couldn’t speak; only stand there in shock. He was a vampire, but he
was alive. Her mind was being bombarded with too much information. She didn’t know what to do.
Spike smiled, seeing the shock and confusion on her face. He was pleased with himself. This time he had the upper hand. He grinned at her, the moonlight
twinkling in his eyes. “Alright, bitch. Dying time’s here.”