One Good Deed
By Spike Speigel“That bloody wanker!” Spike threw the bottle of whiskey against the crypt wall, slumping in a chair. To say he was pissed was an understatement. Riley had come back. With a wife no less. And why did he come back? To say that he was sorry for leaving Buffy. But Spike knew better. He came back to shove his happiness in her face. And that, in turn, led to Buffy pushing him away. Right when things were starting to click. For God’s sake, she offered to decorate his bedroom. Spike mumbled incoherently, trying to push the thoughts away. She had pretty much told him it was over.
“Over.” Spike let the word work its way into his mind. Did they ever really start? Sure, they were sleeping together now. A lot. But Buffy never led him to believe that it was anything more. After he had declared his love for her on many an occasion. “Over.” Spike pushed his hands against the arms of the chair, his body following. As he stood on his feet, one thought kept on going through his mind. “Yeah. Over.” Spike moved to the lower level of the crypt, already illuminated by candlelight. He moved to his weapons trunk, pulling out a large duffel bag. Spike slung the bag over his shoulder, moving to his closet. After moving the bag from his shoulder to his front, Spike opened the wooden door; haphazardly piling any article of clothing he could get his hands on into the bag.
“She’s right. It’s over. Done having my heart used as a goddamn floor mat.”
After an hour or so, Spike had packed all the necessities that he’d need. One final look at the now barren crypt and he smirked. “God, I really did love this hole.” Spike grabbed the last box from the floor, closing the door to the crypt behind him. He walked slowly to the De Soto, a nagging thought stuck in his mind. “Should really tell the bit I’m going.” Dawn. The only person that really gave a damn for him. He thought Buffy gave a damn, but if she did, he wouldn’t be leaving.
“Hell with Buffy.” Spike continued walking, trying to push the Slayer out of his mind. Out of his heart. “Wait for the bitch to go patrolling, then I’ll say goodbye to my l’il bit.” Deep in thought, he didn’t even notice the small woman walking through the cemetery until he walked right into her. “Bloody hell!” Spike stepped back, his box falling to the ground. He bent over to pick it up, never noticing the woman now standing in front of him.
“Spike! Are you still following me around? I said it was over.” Buffy. Of course he’d run into her. With his stupid luck, he wondered where Angel was. Could always use some salt to rub into the wound. Spike tucked the box under his arm once again, never looking at Buffy.
“Sod off.” He walked past her, fuming that he’d run into her. This was the last thing he needed. Buffy looked on as Spike walked away from her, confusion beginning to grip her.
“Hey! You can’t just walk off like that.” He kept walking, waving his hand over his head. “Spike.” Buffy didn’t know why, but she was following him now. “He’s gonna apologize for running into me.”
She tried to convince herself that was the reason she was chasing after him. But she knew better. Things had ended badly for the two of them. And the majority of it was her fault. Okay, all of it. Spike had tried to be what she needed. But even she didn’t know what she needed. That’s why she pushed him away after her meeting with Riley. She could never have what Riley now had. Not with Spike. But did she really want it? The family? The two point three kids? The picket fence? She was the Slayer. Slayer and normal didn’t go together. But Slayer and vampires did. Maybe that’s why things were so good with Spike. So right.
Buffy finally caught up to him in the parking lot, Spike throwing the box he was carrying into the back seat of his car. What was he up to now?
“Spike?” He turned around, slamming the car door behind him.
“Don’t get you, Slayer. You say you want me to stay away from you? I’m keeping up my part of the bargain.” He poked her in the chest, a scowl on his face. “How about you do the same.” He turned back to the car, his back now facing Buffy. Buffy, shocked by his behavior, grabbed his arm and spun him back toward her.
“Why are you acting like this?” It was almost like he didn’t care about her anymore. Spike frowned, wresting his arm from her grasp.
“You know what? I’m in no mood to talk right now.” Spike grabbed her shoulders, slowly pushing her away. “So, how about you go back to killing more of my kind and leave me to my business.” Buffy’s confusion was full blown now, not comprehending what he was doing.
“Spike…” A growl of frustration and Spike spoke once again.
“You stupid bint! I wish I never fell in love with you! I wish I never met you! I wish you’d leave me the hell alone!” That was when the flash of light blinded them.
Once the flash subsided, Spike slowly opened his eyes. As he did, he couldn’t help but notice that things were different. No. Not different. Just very wrong. The whole bleeding world stopped. Buffy stood there, her right hand over her eyes, standing like a statue. Spike’s eyes gazed over the landscape, noting that it wasn’t just Buffy. Cars were stationary; the people in the street were in midstep, unwavering emotions plastered on their faces. Spike said the only thing he could. “What the hell?”
“Oh, hell has nothing to do with this.” Spike spun around to the sound of the voice. His eyes widened when he saw who had spoken.
“Cecily?”
“Once upon a time.” Spike walked to her slowly, his eyes blinking rapidly now. It had to be a dream. But why would he dream this?
“Eyes playing tricks on me. That’s it.” He slowly reached his hand out, wanting to see if the person in front of him was real. When his hand came into contact with her face, he pulled his hand back quickly, as though he had put it into the hottest fire imaginable. “This can’t be real. You’re dead.”
“Not exactly. I’m like you.”
“You’re a vampire?” She laughed.
“No. I’m a demon.” Spike folded his arms about his chest, trying to comprehend what exactly was transpiring.
“What kind of demon?”
“Vengeance.” Spike chuckled, not believing her now.
“Sorry to tell you this, pet. But you’re talking to the wrong sex.” Spike smirked at her, his hand now scouring his pocket for a cigarette. Unfortunately, he remembered that he left them in the car. He sighed, speaking once again. “Vengeance demons usually do their business with members of the female persuasion.” The woman only smiled.
“But this is a once in a lifetime wish.” Puzzlement washed over Spike’s face.
“Wish?” The woman pointed over his shoulder. Spike looked back, seeing Buffy still standing there, unmoving.
“You wished you never met her. You wished you never existed.” Spike shook his head, not believing what was going on.
“You’re dead, Cecily.”
“Halfrek.”
“What?”
“My name is Halfrek now. Cecily was my past.” Spike laughed, moving closer to her.
“Now that’s just bloody stupid.” The woman laughed at his comment.
“And changing your name from William to Spike had nothing to do with you trying to put your past behind you either?” Spike softly chuckled, realizing that he had been bested.
“You’re really her, aren’t you?” Halfrek nodded. “But why?” Halfrek moved toward Spike, a look of disdain about her face.
“After you slaughtered the attendants of the party and left me alive, no suitor would even look at me. You know what they called me after that night?” Spike remembered back to the night when Drusilla had turned him. He went back and killed all of those bastards for making fun of him. Of his poetry. But he left Cecily alive. Because even though she shunned him, a part of him still loved her.
“What did they call you?” Her voice revealed no emotion.
“Bloody Cecily.” Spike looked away from her, not wanting to see what he had brought upon her. “So, I decided to show them what true anguish was.” Spike shook his head, understanding what his act had done to her. Why did women have to make things so hard for him? Why couldn’t they just love him? After a moment of awkward silence, he turned back to her.
“For what it’s worth, I made a lot of mistakes back then.” Halfrek smiled at him, a hint of anger behind it.
“Like this?” She was pointing to Buffy once again. “A vampire falling in love with a Slayer. Talk about conflict.” She was now in front of him, mere inches from his face. “You keep falling for people that see you as beneath them.” Spike was about to hit her, but thought better of it. After all, if she were telling the truth, he wouldn’t stand a chance against her. Against a vengeance demon.
“Don’t make a difference anymore. I’m leaving this hellhole.” Spike turned back to the De Soto, realization finally sinking in. He couldn’t go anywhere with everything still frozen. He turned back to Halfrek, the smirk still there. “Uh, luv. You mind unfreezing the world so I can get going?”
“Aren’t you even curious?” Spike eyed her for a moment, unclear of what she was talking about. Halfrek saw the confusion. “Your wish.”
“Oh, that.” Spike shook his head, a sigh escaping his lips. “Know about you vengeance types and your wishes. Never turn out to be the best thing.”
“And this is better? You running away? Being rejected once again? By your own kind and by the woman you love?” Halfrek moved closer to Spike, her hand gently caressing his cheek. “You don’t belong anywhere.” Her lips were now by his ear, her voice a whisper. “And this is better?”
Spike knew that it was wrong. He knew that she was exploiting his emotions. He knew that he shouldn’t trust her. “Okay, pet. Show me.”
“Show you what?”
“Show me a world where I never met Buffy Summers.” He could almost feel the glee in her voice as she spoke, the amulet glowing between them.
“As you wish.”
After the flash, Spike slowly opened his eyes. Halfrek was no longer next to him, so he began to survey the area. It was almost pitch black barring the firelight from the oil lamps attached to the wall. That’s when he heard the voices.
“Perhaps it’s my advancing years that makes me so forgetful, William. Remind me. Why don’t we kill you?” Spike knew who was on the other side of that voice, even before he came around the corner. Angelus.
“..ike.” Spike stood at the junction of the coalmine, looking on as Angelus continued to choke, well, himself. Angelus released his grip of Spike’s neck, a questioning glace shot at the newly sired vampire.
“What’s that?”
“It’s Spike now.” Spike shook his head, not believing what he was looking at. He was back in Yorkshire. Back near the beginning. Back when he gave himself to Drusilla. “You’d do well to remember that, mate.”
“I’m not your mate. And when did you start talking like that.” Angel was referring to his newly acquired accent. Honestly, Spike didn’t know why he kept it for so long. Just felt like the right thing at the time. Like the right thing to bury William. As Darla and Drusilla stepped to either side of Angelus, he felt the hand come down on his shoulder. Spike quickly spun around, seeing her.
“Bloody hell. Trying to give a fella a stroke?” Halfrek smiled, a small chuckle escaping her lips.
“And what? Make you more dead?” Halfrek walked past Spike, toward the crowd in the middle of the coalmine. Spike angrily whispered at her as she moved away. “Oi! Get back here before they see you!” She paid him no mind as she continued walking toward the group of vampires. As she did so, Darla began to scold Spike.
“Look, we barely got out of London alive because of you. Everywhere we go, it’s the same story and now…” And now Spike’s mouth dropped as Halfrek walked through Darla, standing to the younger Spike’s side. As Angelus began to talk, Spike focused on Halfrek.
“They can’t see you. Stop hiding like a coward.” Coward? Like hell he was a coward. He was just being careful. After all, he didn’t trust that bunch. Especially himself. Spike smirked at the thought, marveling at how young and naïve he’d been back then. He shook the thought from his memory and made his way over to Halfrek. Spike casually walked through Angelus as he stood next Halfrek, noting that Drusilla was saying something about the King of Cups not having a birthday today. As much as it pained him to admit, Harris was right. She was a nutbag. Well, compared to Buffy, anyway.
“So, this is new?” Halfrek turned to him.
“What is?”
“This wonderful life rip. Thought once the wish was made, I get dropped off, no help from the choir.” Halfrek smiled at him.
“I told you William…”
“Spike.” Halfrek raised an eyebrow to him, brushing it off.
“Spike.” After appeasing him, she continued. “This was a very special wish.” She turned back to the event at hand. “Why not bend the rules a bit?” Spike eyed her curiously until he heard himself exclaim loudly.
“Sod off!” And then a chuckle from his younger self. Spike looked on, a grin on his face. He remembered telling Angelus off that night. It was one of his better nights. Almost as good as killing his first Slayer. The grin faded from his face as his mind recalled his best night. His night in the abandoned building with Buffy. That woman may infuriate the hell out of him, but there was no denying it. He still loved her. He probably wouldn’t stop. Even when she died, he never stopped loving her. Halfrek’s tap on his shoulder stirred him from the memory.
“Look carefully. The best part’s coming up.”
“Luv, I was here. I remember how this all ends up.” She didn’t say anything. She only smiled. Spike wondered what she was thinking about, but his younger self got his attention once again.
“Come on. When was the last time you unleashed it? All out fight in a mob, back against the wall, nothing but fists and fangs?” Angelus eyed him peculiarly, almost contemplating his words. Spike couldn’t help but shake the feeling that this was different. Angelus never listened to him. “Don’t you ever get tired of fights you know you’re going to win?”
“No. A real kill. A good kill. It takes pure artistry. Without that, we’re just animals.” Spike knew what came next.
“Poofter!” Angelus pushed the younger Spike backwards as he grabbed a shovel, breaking it in two. As Spike fell onto his back, Angelus lunged at him, the makeshift stake hovering over his chest, Spike holding it with his right hand. A brief pause and a quick glance between the two vampires before Spike spoke again, a smile on his face. “Now you’re gettin’ it!” Spike stood next to Halfrek, uncertainty on his face. The pause shouldn’t have taken that long. But maybe his memory was playing tricks on him.
“No, lad! Now you’re gettin’ it!” Then again, maybe not. Spike stood there as Angelus wrenched the stake from the younger’s hand, violently plunging it into his chest. Angelus’ voice was a whisper now. “Poofter.” Spike moved closer as he saw himself explode into a cloud of ash. Spike turned back to Halfrek, seeing that the smile had grown on her face.
“So, this what you meant by best part?” Drusilla’s voice got his attention before Halfrek could answer him.
“Angelus. You killed my knight!” Angelus casually walked back to the women, a smirk on his face.
“Don’t worry, Dru. I’m sure we’ll run into some other idiot for you to turn.” Spike stood there, not believing what he was hearing. It couldn’t have been true.
“Another knight?” Darla’s hand gently caressed Drusilla’s cheek.
“That’s right. This time, maybe someone less of a loser?” Drusilla smiled at the thought.
“Oh, goody! Maybe a sailor this time?” Angelus slowly placed his arms around the two women, a glint in his eye.
“We’ll see. Until then, let’s keep ourselves occupied until the mob tires of their search.” The women began to giggle, Drusilla speaking.
“Naughty, naughty Angelus.” Spike turned his back to the group, not wanting to see what would inevitably happen. His eyes were fixed on Halfrek, anger and confusion washing over him.
“That bitch. She never loved me.” The moans grew as Spike walked closer to Halfrek. “You must be enjoying the show, luv.”
“Somewhat.” To say she was ecstatic was an understatement.
“I’m confused though. This has what to do with the Slayer?” She softly smiled.
“You’re about to see.” Another flash of light graced Spike’s vision before he could ask her what she meant.
Spike opened his eyes, squinting and rubbing his eyes as he did so. However, upon seeing the surroundings, he rubbed his eyes again, not believing what his eyes were telling him. He looked around once again, expecting Halfrek to be absent from his side. However, he was wrong when he saw her standing right behind him, her arms wrapped across her chest. He had to ask.
“Where the hell are we now?” The laughter that emanated from her lips would have chilled his soul, had he one. “What’s so bloody funny?”
“Your choice of words.” He looked at her quizzically as she walked past him. “We’re in Sunnydale.” Spike sighed in frustration.
“Doesn’t look like Sunnydale.”
“Well. It’s been remodeled ever since you left this plane of existence.” She motioned to him as she continued walking further into the city. Having no other choice, he followed. As he caught up to her, Spike noted the surroundings in more detail. Bodies were strewn about the place, evidently mutilated by the various demons now roaming the streets and skies. Instead of the dark blue sky that signified night, it was almost blood red. Red flowing into dark orange. It was unclear where the horizon started, the hue overpowering the sense of sight.
Spike looked down upon stepping into something. The sight was one he never expected to see. A small girl’s skull, half decayed. While he had his own sins, those paled to what he saw now, the girl’s one eye looking up at him, blood pooled in the mouth. Spike slowly moved his foot away, noting that the streets were literally covered in blood. This wasn’t Sunnydale.
“This is hell.” Halfrek spoke, a hint of amusement in her voice.
“No. It’s hell on earth.” That’s when it hit Spike. He had to make sure.
“What year is this?” She smiled at him, noting that he was placing the pieces together.
“It’s nineteen ninety eight.” That confirmed it.
“Son of a bitch did it, didn’t he?” Halfrek walked back to Spike, wrapping her arm around his, guiding him away from the skull.
“Let’s go have a look, shall we?” Spike closed his eyes as Halfrek guided him away, the sound of hell still resonating in his ears.
It felt like hours until they walked up to the mansion. But it wasn’t. It was mere minutes. The screams of the anguished and damned made him feel like it was an eternity. “What are we doing here?” Halfrek released her grip on Spike’s arm, walking into the mansion.
“You’re about to see the consequences of your wish.” Spike looked at her as she disappeared into the mansion. He had no choice but to follow. As he got closer to the doorway, he could hear the moan get louder. It sounded so familiar.
“It can’t be.” Spike’s feet began to move faster until he was in a run. As he ran into the doorway, he stopped when his eyes fell on the source of the sound. He wanted to say something, but his voice failed him. Spike slowly walked toward the nude, battered body that was chained in front of him. Halfrek stood to her side, enjoyment plastered over her face. Spike tried to stroke her cheek, but his hand went through her. “Buffy.”
He saw her face, emotionless. She was empty. He could see that from her eyes. From the tears that now mixed with the blood on her face, bite marks all about her body. Spike looked her over, anger and sorrow flooding his mind. It was clear from the marks on her inner thighs coupled with the swelling that she had been violated. He didn’t know that he had started crying until Halfrek spoke.
“Now, this is entertaining. A vampire crying for a Slayer.” Spike looked at her, his vision now blurred by his tears.
“You knew this was going to happen. Didn’t you?” Halfrek walked over to Spike, her hand attempting to touch his face when he pulled away. His eyes returned to Buffy.
“I had no idea this would happen.” She smiled. “Well, not like this anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look behind her.” Spike hesitated before turning his attention to what Halfrek wanted him to see. As he looked over Buffy’s shoulder, he saw what she wanted him to. Its mouth was wide-open, hell pouring out of it.
“Acathla.” But how could Buffy let Angelus pull the sword out? Why couldn’t she seal it again? The realization hit him, Spike sinking to his knees. “Now I know why you went all wonderful life on me.”
“Do you?” Spike spoke, sorrow tinting his voice.
“I wasn’t here to help Buffy with Angelus and Dru.” He shook his head, the effect of his wish now truly sinking in. “So she had the two of them to deal with. And she lost.”
“But of course she did.” Spike looked at her, his sorrow being overpowered by his hatred for the woman he loved once upon a time. “Did you really think she’d be able to stop the two of them?” Spike answered truthfully.
“Yeah.” Halfrek chuckled slightly, walking over to Spike, still on his knees.
“Then you’re an even bigger fool than I originally thought.” Spike slowly got to his feet, hatred swelling inside him. “As much as I hate to admit it, you actually were important to the world. Even though you helped her for your own selfish gains, you had a hand in staving off Armageddon.” Spike was about to respond, but the movement from the corner of his eye stopped him. He turned his gaze from Halfrek, his eyes falling upon Angelus and Drusilla as they casually walked toward Buffy. Spike stood there, unsure of what he was feeling. Seeing Drusilla, with her arm wrapped around Angelus’ waist, made him feel disgusted, wasting over a century with her. Wasting lifetimes.
“I’m hungry, Angelus.”
“Me too, darling.” They slowly separated, walking to either side of Buffy. Spike looked back at Halfrek, seeing the immense pleasure she was feeling at this moment. He wanted to kill her. But he knew he wasn’t a match for her. He’d have to bide his time before he made his move. “Think she’s had time to recuperate?” Drusilla giggled, her tongue trailing over Buffy’s neck.
“Strong pulse.” Angelus smiled, his demon emerging onto his face.
“Alright then. Let’s see if we can find a spot on her that’s not full of holes.” Drusilla laughed heartily, Buffy not moving, tears still streaming from her eyes. Spike turned away, not wanting to see her in pain. He heard the suckling, gurgling noises in the background as he turned his attention back to Halfrek.
“Enough. I get the picture.” She walked to him, her hand on his chin, Spike not moving away this time.
“Then I can go.” Spike eyed her, puzzlement overcoming him.
“So, what? You just gonna leave me here?”
“That’s the plan.” Her hand forced Spike’s head to look over his shoulder, his eyes falling onto Buffy. Her eyes remained opened, looking at nothing in particular as Angelus and Drusilla continued to feed. “Seems like this should make us even for what you did to me.” Spike felt the tears slowly trail down his cheek. She might not love him, but he still loved her. That was good enough for him. He turned back to Halfrek, his hand now on her neck, slowly trailing down her body. He could see the surprise on her face. That’s exactly what he wanted.
“How about a goodbye kiss then?” His hand trailed down her neck, to the top of her breast, lingering. “Give me something I’ve always wanted.” Halfrek stood there, slightly gasping at his touch.
“But you’re beneath me.”
“Yeah. But that makes it all the more exciting.” Spike whispered at her, his tears abating. Spike leaned in, noting that she was welcoming the kiss. Spike’s hand continued downward, feeling her shiver under his touch. As his lips came almost into contact with hers, he spoke. “Oh, luv. I may be beneath you.” That’s when they both heard the loud snap. Halfrek looked confused as she looked down to Spike’s hand, green light cascading between them. “But you’re still a coldhearted bitch.” Spike closed his eyes instinctively shielding them against the harsh light, hoping against hope that it was enough.
“You wish you never fell in love with me?” Spike slowly opened his eyes, the voice urging him to. He blinked slowly, tears still blurring his vision. “Are you crying?” Spike smiled slowly, still not believing his eyes.
“Buffy?” She eyed him curiously as she spoke.
“You still haven’t answered my question.” Spike blinked his tears away, his hand swiping at his face.
“What’s that, luv?” He could sense the frustration in her voice now.
“You wish you never fell in love with me?” Spike continued smiling at her, moving closer to her.
“Doesn’t matter anymore.” Buffy was thoroughly confused now.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not leaving.”
“What?” Spike turned back to the car, indicating the boxes in the backseat.
“After we broke up, I figured the best thing would be for me to leave. Make things easier for you.” As Spike turned back to face Buffy, he was greeted with a fist to his face. Spike stumbled backward, his hand flying to his nose. “Bloody hell!” Spike leaned against the De Soto, squinting through the pain. “What’d you do that for?!?”
“You were just going to leave without saying goodbye?” Spike slowly moved from the car, still rubbing his nose.
“Well, yeah. You all but told me you didn’t want anything to do with me.” Spike was sent backward once again, his hand back on his nose. “Stop that!” Spike looked back at her, seeing the tears swelling in her eyes now.
“You’re such an asshole. You’d leave just because of a fight?” Spike stood his distance this time, unsure if his nose could take any more abuse. That’s when it registered.
“Wait a minute? Did you say fight?” Buffy’s voice wavered now.
“Maybe.” Spike sighed, walking closer to her. His hand was now on her chin, gently tilting her face so their eyes came into contact.
“Look, Buffy. I know that we’ll most likely never have what Riley and his wife have.” Her gaze never wavered as she continued looking at him. “But they’ll never have what we do.”
“And what’s that?” Spike gently kissed her forehead, his thumb gently stroking her cheek. He felt alive, being this close to her. Being here for her. His lips moved down her face, trailing a gentle kiss on her cheek before he touched his lips to hers. He thought for sure that she’d pull away, but instead, she welcomed his touch. He felt her kiss back, and he knew. She loved him, even though she’d never admit it. After what felt like an eternity, Spike slowly pulled away from Buffy, finally answering her question with a whisper.
“That special something.” He looked over her as he moved away from her. It was Buffy. A healthy Buffy. An emotional Buffy. His Buffy. He turned around, opening the back door of the De Soto. Buffy stood there for a moment, almost in shock. Did Spike actually comfort her? Did he actually act like a boyfriend? She looked on as Spike pulled the duffel bag out of the back and slung it over his shoulder. He gave her a gentle smile as he stood in front of the cemetery gates. “I’ll be here when you figure out what you want. Even if it isn’t me, I’ll still be here.”
Buffy continued looking on as Spike walked into the cemetery. She didn’t know why, but she grabbed a box from the back of the car and followed him. A small smile played over her face as she caught up to him. Spike looked down at her, a hint of confusion on his face. Buffy spoke. “Figured it’d be quicker if the both of us moved your junk back in.” He smirked at her.
“Is that right?”
“That’s right.” Spike turned his gaze forward once again, his smirk transforming into a smile. She might never admit to herself that she loved him. But she was here with him now. And that meant a lot more to him than not having her in his life.
~Fin~