Till The End Of The World

By Spike Speigel

"Why don't you come over anymore?" It was a typical question that a under appreciated girlfriend might ask her boyfriend. But Buffy and Spike's relationship was anything but. That's why Spike was initially taken aback when Buffy asked him.

"What's that, luv?" Buffy had stopped by to visit him. Dawn was at a party with a friend, most likely with boys. At that point, Buffy knew exactly how her mom felt when she was the one going to parties. She was worried about Dawn. But more to the fact, she was lonely. So, a trip through the cemetery to visit her now favorite vampire.

"I thought the question was pretty self-explanatory." She sat on top of the sarcophagus, Spike opposite her, his fork twirling the linguine she had brought with her. Even though he didn't need to eat, he enjoyed moments like this. Spending time with Buffy, even the non-kissing kind, always made him happy. "Well, I know you've been in the house when that demon broke in and broke my water main." An unpleasant look on her face. She had paid good money for that pipe and the demon just broke it like it was nothing. She took another sip of wine that Spike had brought out to complement the meal. "And you were in the house after we got Dawn home safely during Halloween. But since then, you haven't stepped foot in the house." Spike smiled gently at her, placing the forkful of linguine into his mouth. A quick swallow and he spoke.

"Does it really matter why?" He flashed her a mischievous grin, leaning in closer to her. Buffy picked up a bread roll and tossed it at him, Spike barely ducking in time to avoid it. "Buff, I think you need to put more time into your training. That was a terrible throw." A sip of wine and a verbal jab. "People might think you throw like a girl." She giggled at this, unsure whether it was his humor or the wine making her feel like this. After all, Buffy and alcohol didn't mix.

"Dawn misses you. The only time she sees you now is when she's in danger." Spike looked up from his plate to see the somber look on Buffy's face.

"Alright, pet. I'll make more time for the bit." She noted the troubled look on his face now. What was he hiding?

"Why are you avoiding the question?" She took a quick bite of linguine after she said this. If one were to look into the crypt, they'd think a married couple was having a typical conversation over dinner. Except in a crypt. Spike shook his head gently. He was definitely becoming uncomfortable with this line of questioning.

"Not avoiding. Just trying to ignore." Spike was becoming terse, his tone becoming more forceful. Buffy continued to teasingly play with him, not really paying attention to his changing mood.

"Oh, is that right? Not even a month has passed since we've started dating and you're already keeping secrets from me." Buffy was about to take another sip of wine when Spike's fork dropped to his plate.

"Leave it alone, Buffy." Spike's cheery mood was now replaced with one of seriousness. Buffy, unsure of what had transpired to get to this moment, remained silent. Then she spoke.

"Look. Maybe I should leave then." She began to move from on top of the sarcophagus, her feet hanging from the side. That was when she felt Spike's hand around her arm, squeezing her gently.

"I'm sorry, luv." She looked at him, his face now showing signs of pain and grief. "You'll think it's stupid."

"What is?" Buffy was unsure what he was talking about now.

"Why I don't come over anymore." Buffy slowly slid her legs back underneath her, her arms to her sides. She began to feel terrible making Spike act like this. She didn't expect such a simple question to lead to where they were now.

"Okay." She gently squeezed his hand, looking kindly into his deep blue eyes. "Let's just forget about it and finish eating." She was about to pick up her fork when he spoke.

"I'm afraid." Buffy looked up at him, his head looking down at the plate in front of him. He looked up to see the look of concern and confusion on her face. A deep breath which he didn't need and he began to speak. "Last time we were in your house together, no demons, no Dawn," he paused a bit, his voice now wavering, "you invited me into your house." Buffy's mind automatically went back to the moment when she had invited him into her house to gather weapons to face Glory. The night she died. "You willingly let me into your house as though I was one of the family, one of your friends."

"You are my friend. That and much more." There was comfort and love in her voice. She felt for the man sitting across from her.

"Now maybe. But that night, I was just regular ol' Spike. Big Bad." He was whispering now, as though he was embarrassed to confess his reason to Buffy. "You had no reason to trust me, but you invited me in." Buffy's hands were now nestled over his, knowing that he was attempting to tell her something personal about him. Something he'd rather keep to himself. Something emotional.

"So, why are you afraid?" Spike smiled at her, observing that she was taking this matter as seriously as he was. Things had definitely changed between them. She was there for him now as he had been for her.

"That was the happiest moment of my life." She smiled at this. He was a hopeless romantic. But he was her hopeless romantic. "But when you jumped," he felt her thumbs gently grazing his palm, "that house became the saddest place I'd ever been in." She knew he was telling the truth. He had seen things, experienced things, which no regular person had. So for him to state this made her heart hurt. "Don't get me wrong. I was glad to look after Dawn. She was the only person that made that summer bearable." He began to trail off once again. "My li'l bit."

"Spike."

"Let me get this out before I lose my nerve. Okay, pet?" She slowly nodded and allowed him to continue his narrative. "When you came back, that was definitely one of the high points of my life. But when you told me what had happened, you being pulled out of Heaven, my heart broke." Buffy saw his slight smile quickly transform into a frown, his brow now furrowed. "You were back, you were in pain, and there was nothing I could do to help." Buffy interrupted him because she had to tell him.

"You did help me. I'm here. I'm happy." Her hand gently caressed his cheek, their eyes locked in a deep gaze. "Because of you."

"I know you're happy, luv. I'm glad you're happy." He began to trail off once again.

"But what?"

"But I'm afraid I'm gonna lose you if I step foot in that house again." The honesty in his voice knocked Buffy back. She didn't expect this would be his answer. Not this.

"Why?" His hand was now on hers, holding her hand to his cheek.

"The first time you accepted me in, I lost you." He gently kissed the palm of her hand. "I'm afraid if I'm happy again in that house, something's gonna happen that's gonna take you away from me again." Buffy smiled gently, lovingly at the man across from her. The man that had made her feel once again. The man she had fallen in love with. She leaned across the plates and glasses and gently placed her lips on his. A loving kiss and she spoke.

"You can't think like that." Her forehead was now against his, her voice a whisper. "We're both here. We're both happy." She felt his hand on the base of her neck, gently squeezing. She tilted her head to look into her eyes. "And we'll both take on tomorrow. Together." Spike smiled at this thought. He and Buffy together. He leaned toward her to kiss her, but felt his hand come down in a now cold plate of linguine.

"Bloody hell." A trademark Buffy giggle and her head was against his chest. "Some boyfriend I am. Can't even kiss you proper." Buffy pulled away, looking at him with a gentle smile on her face.

"Say that again?" Spike was now the one confused.

"What?"

"Boyfriend." Her hands were now around the base of his neck.

"Oh, that. Uh, boyfriend." Spike was now beginning to feel embarrassed.

"Has a nice ring to it. Doncha think?" Before he could answer, she kissed him again. Her fingers moved into his hair, Spike using his clean hand to grasp the base of her neck. After a minute or so, Spike broke the bond. Buffy sighed in disappointment, missing his touch.

"So, what time is Dawn coming home?" Buffy, a bit perplexed, answered nonetheless.

"Uh, in about three hours. Why?" A playful smile graced his lips.

"Was thinking maybe I could come over?" He gently kissed her nose. "Maybe spend the night?" Another kiss on her cheek. Buffy smiled back at him, her hands now cupping his face.

"Only if you can promise to be quiet. Wouldn't want to wake Dawn." Spike leaned closer to her, his lips almost touching hers, looking deep into her dark green pools.

"Til the end of the world, luv. Even if that's tonight."

 

~Fin~