Irony

By Scorpio

The irony is staggering.

Here I am wandering around half-insane from the weight of the guilt of over a century's worth of rabid slaughter curtesy of my brand new soul, ping-ponging between the morbid need to redeem myself in the eyes of my own personal blonde haired kick-ass link to God and the desire to give into the dark seduction of blood and pain and lust that is continuously whispered into my ear from the demon within. I honestly didn't think that I could feel any worse about myself, that I could hold another drop of regret in me. Fate, fickle and cruel bitch that she is, just had to go and prove me wrong. I have a new reason to feel guilt, and this one single thing burns through my soul with more torment than all of the others combined.

One of the minions that I had made on my first ignominious visit here in Sunnydale turned Xander Harris.

The irony is that at one point in time, I would have found that to be funny. A Hellmouth-y sort of poetic justice, I suppose. The irony is that at another point in time, I would have turned him myself if I could. The irony is that part of me is jealous that he can rampage and feed free of pain or guilt and I can't. The irony is that part of me pities him that he went from being the Slayer's strongest and most fiercest supporter into the one enemy that she is afraid to face.

The irony is that he had threatened me a hundred thousand times with a good staking and he's never even attempted to carry through with that threat. The irony is that if I run into him in a dark alley, I'll stake him without hesitation.

I vaguely recall making Xander's sire into a minion. He was just someone that I had grabbed randomly and without thought. Cannon fodder. No one important and with no important role to fulfill. Just another set of fangs to fill in the ranks against the Slayer. He disappeared after one of the dustups and I didn't give it another thought. Probably figured that he'd ended up on the wrong end of a stake. Instead, it seems that he skipped out of town and went up to LA to wreak havoc and mayhem on some offensive distant relations and then stayed a few years to enjoy the nightlife. So to speak.

The idiot just strolled back into town, ignorant of the current situation within the demon community and made himself at home. Snatched Xander off of some street corner by bashing him on the head, dragged him home and turned him. I'm sure that he thought that the young man would make a good strong minion or something like that. The joke was on him though.

That painfully average seeming 20 year old man has been fighting against and enjoying a good shag with some of the toughest, meanest, evilest bad-asses to walk the Hellmouth since he was a 15 year old boy. He's helped the Slayer bring down every single demon foolish enough to claim the title of Master of the Hellmouth, including yours truly. He's faced down The Master, Angelus, the Mayor, Adam, the Initiative, Glory, Anyanka and his oldest and dearest friend in the world when she lost control over her magic; all as a simple, normal human being with all of the weaknesses and frailties inherent to that species.

And that twit thought that Xander Harris needed to be fueled by a hellspawned soulless demon? His stupidity obviously knows no bounds.

In the past month that Xander had been a vampire, he's organized a great majority of the demon community in ways that are frightening to even consider. Roving patrols of demons armed with weapons, cell phones with text messaging capabilities, a base of operations filled with computers as well as books of magic and prophecy, and worst of all, he's created a list of rules and regulations in regard to the slaughter and feeding off of humans that makes it very difficult for Buffy to track them down.

There's no longer any sloppy kills with several corpses laying about for the authorities to find. Advance warning systems insure that any buildings that demons are hiding in are emptied long before Buffy steps foot inside. Parties and student functions are no longer obvious targets and the cemeteries are avoided. Xander knows all of Buffy's tactics, strategies and the way she thinks. He knows what is safe to get away with and what to avoid like holy water.

What's more, he's still an official person. Not that he still works for the construction company, no he's moved on to other things. I believe that he calls himself a consultant now and he is slowly establishing himself in both the political scene in Sunnydale as well as the greater demon community at large. Personally, I think he's tearing a page out of the long dead Mayor's book. I also think that if he isn't stopped soon that he will end up being one of the most deadly foes that Buffy's ever faced...and not just because that sneaky, knowledgeable and bloodthirsty demon wears the face of one of her nearest and dearest.

I hunt for him every night. When I find him, I will destroy him. And yeah, that will hurt. We were never best chums and we often claimed to hate each other more than anything else, but this isn't right. Xander Harris is the Slayer's White Knight...not her arch nemesis. At least, I don't think he was meant to be. But he is...and it's all my fault. I made his sire with the careless indifference that one would show when choosing a pair of socks from a pile of identical socks. Every death that Xander causes can be traced right back to me. My fault. I created a monster and then it gave birth to an unholy childe.

The real irony is that this whole mess has given both Xander and I what we each wanted most in the world. I wanted Buffy's love and he wanted her respect. And now that we each have it, neither of us wants it anymore...

~Fin~