There Wasn't Too Much We Missed

By Mys

They both watched silently as the coffin was lowered into the ground and Buffy spoke her speech. No one had wanted a pastor. It wouldn't have seemed right, with all the unchristian guests who came. No one had asked many questions as the Scoobies insisted on having the funeral at night. Money sometimes really does help.

"Did you never regret, not doing it?"

"What do you mean, Angel?"

"You know. Make him yours. Keep him. For eternity."

"Turn him?"

"Hm-mh."

"Never."

"Never?"

"I thought about it. Sometimes. On his thirtieth Birthday for the first time. We talked, but we both decided against it. As he got the first grey hairs he started to think about it, too but I wouldn't let him. I couldn't have done it then. Not anymore. He had convinced me that it wasn't what he wanted. When he got older I knew it was too late to do it, but I didn't regret it."

"You could have had eternity with him, and you don't regret it?"

"Something that looks like him, but it wouldn't have been him. 75 years of a calming heartbeat, whenever I was upset. Warmth, whenever I was cold. And love, whenever… and love. All the time. That, or eternity with something that reminded me of what I've lost by turning him? It wasn't a hard decision."

"I don't know if I would have had the strength."

"I didn't know it either. But for him I had it."

--

"What now?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't have wanted it, but you know, that I have to, don't you?"

"I know. The sun rises in 13 hours. Do you want to stay here?"

"There's no better place."

"You know, that I'd be there for you, don't you?"

"I know."

"Do you want me to… join you?"

"You'd do that?"

"You're family. And so was he."

"Yeah… he was. I'll never forget the first time I brought him to LA. The way he looked at me, as I told him, we'd sleep in your bed."

"He was quite shocked, wasn't he?"

"Shocked? He though I went completely round the bend. Told me to sod off and get my head checked. I loved it, when he talked like me."

"So…"

"My place is by his side, wherever he might be now. Yours is here… You have things to do here. Helpless people to save. Powers that Be to please. Rewards to fight for. They count on you. You can't let them down."

"Guess I can't, no."

---

"Angel?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think he… Do you think I'll see him again?"

"I'd like to say yes, but I don't know it. I don't know where he went, and I don't know where you will go. You both aren't innocents anymore and there are so many dimensions out there. A God who looks after vampires might rule one of them. One of them might be for humans. And maybe, just maybe, one of them is a place for vampires and their humans."

"I'd like to believe that."

"But you know you'll always be with him, don't you? Just as he'll always be with you."

"Yeah… You know, I remember the first time we kissed. Well, I kissed him and he freaked. He got those red spots all over his neck and I think he forgot to breathe because of all the insults he had to throw my way. I didn't even know he knew all those words. Made me rather proud the git."

"Do you remember when he took on this wanna-be football player that had messed with you? He was nearly a head taller than him but Xander didn't care."

"If it wouldn't have been for the chip I would have ripped his fucking head off for bringing himself in such danger. The idiot got cracked two of his rips while defending me."

"He always was brave. Irrational and unreasonable, but always brave. A wonder he didn't get himself killed in one of his fights. "

"Yeah."

---

"12 hours till sunrise. This means goodbye, then?"

"I think it does."

"You know I love you? Both of you."

"I think we always knew."

"Still no regrets?"

"I regret a lot, but not the time with him. Not a minute spent with him."

They looked at each other and through their tears they smiled.

Epilogue

You know, some people might say, that demons are evil. Some people might say, they don't deserve good things happening to them. And some people might even say, they deserve to burn in hell.

Probably those people are right, probably they aren't, who knows?

But if you say they are, I'd feel the need to remind you of all the people who died through the hands of missionaries. I'd feel the need to point out that Jesus was condemned to death by the people who were supposed to worship him. And in the end I'd feel the need to reveal the fact, that Jesus wasn't even human. He was a Kathla-demon Able to switch into a human guise and trick the ones aroung him into believing, what they wanted to believe. What they needed.

How else do you think has he been able to increase the fish and bread? A wonder? Oh please…

Some of you might think that it is unrealistic that Spike found himself in a place where the sunlight didn't burn him like it had just a few moments ago. But time didn't matter anymore around here, anyway. And as he felt the sunbeams warm his skin, 120 years of feeling cold were forgotten.

Some of you might say that it is irrational that, as Spike took in his surroundings he saw Xander standing in front of him, smiling. 21 again, wearing the orange shirt he had worn 54 years ago as he had been standing in the watcher's living room, explaining why he and Spike had been late for the meeting. Again.

The fact that Xander's "I had to stake a vamp" was delivered in a far too serious voice if you happened to miss the evil spark in his eyes was lost at the Scoobies but Spike caught his eyes and it was the first time he thought, that Xander would make a great vampire, but that he made an even better human.

It was, where he had fallen for the boy, helpless and deep, and it was true, he had never regret it. And now he got his reward.

Just very few of you might tell me, that the fact that Spike was stuck for eternity with Xander clad in a 'can I be blind now, too'-orange colored shirt was thoroughly evil, but then I would have to explain that the thoughts which crossed Spike's mind, most of the time didn't involve clothes anyway, so you're better off if you don't say anything.

Apparently , Angel had been right and somewhere between all those dimensions there was a place for vampires and their humans…

~Fin~

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