When Eternity Lies In The BalanceBy Jericho TGF
Chapter Fourteen
It was the pounding that woke him, a ceaseless hammering that echoed in his throbbing head. It sounded like someone had taken a club to an empty oil drum and was intent on beating the thing into oblivion. Slamming at him from everywhere, surrounding him, it set up in his brain, making his eyeballs pulse achingly behind closed lids. It felt like the mother of all hangovers, multiplied times infinity.
Spike didn’t want to move, didn’t want to open his eyes. He knew where he was. He figured hell would sound quite a bit like this.
His whole body was on fire. Every part of him, inside and out, was one huge ouch. The storm that whisked him out of heaven had done a number on him before tossing him out, hurling him to where he now lay - sprawled on his stomach on a hard, rocky ground.
Doubting the banging would go away anytime soon - hell was all about the eternal torment, now, wasn’t it? - he braced himself before opening his eyes on what would be his home for the next...well, forever.
Groaning in pain despite his determination not to let the place get the better of him, he rolled over and pushed himself up on one elbow. When he finally convinced his brain that vision might be one of those necessary things, his eyes cracked open a little and he winced anew at the bashing sound around him.
What he saw - when he finally could - made him forget all about the head-splitting noise.
~*~*~*~*~*~
One very nervous entity cast a surreptitious glance at the vibrating fury that was the warrior in front of him. Her expression hadn’t changed. Buffy stood at the top of the stairs, the empty room behind her, with her arms crossed over her chest. Belligerent and proud, she glared hard at the lone Oracle.
The sister was gone. On a mission. Buffy had demanded that she go to the Powers and get them to release Spike from heaven. As she had been quite sure that the Powers would be less than sympathetic to a vampire’s plight, she had ended up needing a little encouraging, so the brother was currently being held as a kind of hostage to the Slayer’s dictates.
It was the right card to play - the one thing that his sister truly cared about above and beyond her duties was her sibling. She had left grudgingly but hastily, impotent to do anything else to protect her brother.
He wasn’t afraid that Buffy would kill him, he knew her better than that, but it was well within her to hurt him quite a lot. And his kind weren’t known for a high pain threshold - they had never needed to be.
The brother sincerely hoped that the vampire had not yet been terminated. The Chosen One would not be pleased. Or if he had, that the Powers would bring him back from hell, as he knew they had done one other.
The vampire with a soul had been released, set back on his path by the Powers. Unlike the other realm, the Powers held dominion over hell. It would actually be easier, if quite a bit more damaging to the vampire, if he was already there. But it was the potential damage that worried the brother. He could only imagine what the Slayer would do then. And none of the things that sprang to mind boded well for him...or his sister.
He wondered what it was between this vampire and this Slayer that was so powerful that one would willingly give up his life for the safety of the world and the other would threaten that very safety, just to make sure the other survived. What could drive two individuals into taking actions that were diametrically opposed to their very natures?
Try as he might, he couldn’t fathom the reason.
And when his unquenchable curiosity, his nature, got the best of him, and he reached out his mind to the Chosen One to delve into her reasons, he couldn’t contain the utter surprise when he realized he couldn’t read a thing from her. Nothing. She was completely blocked off from his mental inquiry.
Buffy felt the soft, questioning caress tickle her mind and knew who was responsible. She watched with a half grin as the Oracle realized he no longer had access to her thoughts. And she felt a sense of righteous satisfaction when he gawked at her with an amusingly ridiculous, opened-mouth gape.
“You know,” she drawled, “in polite circles, one would ask a question out loud instead of dipping into a person’s mind uninvited. But then, polite isn’t exactly your forte, is it?”
The Oracles eyes swept the room, the floor at his feet, looking anywhere but at her. His confusion and fear were palpable. When he finally spoke, his words told Buffy just how rattled he really was.
“I-I d-do not understand. This is unexpected. You should n-not be able to b-block my mind. You should not be able to feel my mental touch. H-how is this possible?”
It was actually a good question, one that Buffy would like the answer to, herself. She tilted her head slightly and narrowed her eyes at the flustered creature in front of her.
“Why don’t you tell me? You are one of the all-knowing duo, right? And while you’re at it, why don’t you astound me with the sense making this time. I know it’s a foreign concept but I bet if you try really hard, you can do it. And, hey, while I’m being the wowed and amazed girl, I’ll be less likely to hurt you.”
Wide-eyed and worried that she expected him to tell her things he didn’t understand himself, he stammered at her.
“I-I do n-not know. I-I s-swear to you. I do not know. I can only tell you what I know.”
Buffy rolled her eyes, fed up with the entity. As much as it irritated her, she couldn’t help but believe him. He was too scared to tell her anything but the truth. “So tell me what you do know, then.”
Grateful at the reprieve from possible bodily injury, he rushed to fill her in on all the details. “Your time in the realm changed you, gave you a balance that had not been there before. It is a balance that the Powers, through the trials set forth for you, had been fostering, but it came about much quicker than originally foreseen...and has evidenced itself in a much different way than they had intended, though that is hardly of importance now.”
The Oracle was so intent on spilling out the words as fast as possible, he didn’t notice the tension that went through the Slayer at that last bit. He just rambled on, relieved that she was still standing several feet away instead of gripping him around the throat as she had his sister.
“This balance has allowed you full access to your powers. You are now stronger and better than you have ever been. I am sure you feel the difference, I would imagine you could not help but feel it.”
Buffy nodded purposely but didn’t say anything. She felt it all right, but she had no intention of telling that little green and gold worm the first thing about it. It was for her alone, and it was glorious. It was victory. It was peace. And there was a clarity the likes of which Buffy had never known before.
Ever since she felt that swirling power descend for the first time in the Oracle’s chamber, she was awash in an indescribable blend of both separateness and togetherness. It was a contradiction but there was no other way to explain it. It was as if each part of her had been distilled and separated even as a fraction of both had been blended together in a blessedly new way. No longer muddy and painful as it had been before her death, but clear. The two sides now worked in conjuncture, complimenting each other instead of fighting each other.
She had never felt as perfectly whole as she did now. As if the internal struggle she had warred with for five long years had finally been resolved and both sides, Buffy and Slayer, girl and Chosen One, had won.
She wondered what the Oracle meant when he said that the Powers had intended something different. This amazing feeling she now had made her want to know what they had intended.
Before she could ask, there was a brief flash of light in the archway in front of her. When her eyes readjusted, Buffy could see that the sister had returned. Questions would have to wait.
At the look on the sister’s face, the stunned and horrified and totally bewildered look on the green and gold face of the female Oracle that had been so high and mighty not that long ago, Buffy’s Slayer sense shot into overdrive.
And she knew, from deep inside her she knew, that nothing would be the same for her ever again.
The velvet cloak of power wrapped itself even more tightly around her. Tingling with the energy, she sucked in a deep breath to steady herself. Her body trembled even as her stomach dropped to her knees.
There was nothing on the sister’s face that heralded any good news for Spike. Or for the Slayer that loved him.
When she saw the sister’s expression, an expression that was telling her things that she would never accept, it hit her. Buffy finally realized it. Finally saw it. Finally stopped denying it. The knowledge, the acceptance - the swamping emotion - crashed down on her in a wave of relief and agony all at once, almost knocking her to her knees with its intensity.
She loved Spike.
And no one - no Powers, no Oracles, no one - was going to take him away from her.
Not even realizing it, she snarled low in her throat. It was a primeval response to the threat that was facing her. In two steps she had the shaking entity gripped by the shoulders and lifted slightly off the ground.
“Tell me!” She yelled. “What is it? What did they tell you? Where is he?!”
The sister heard her, felt the pinching grip on her arms, but couldn’t answer her. She was too wrapped up in her own confusion and horror. Instinctively reaching out her mind to her brother for help, she heard him gasp as she sent him the truth about what had become of the vampire. Knowing that as he saw it, and when he told the Slayer what he saw, they were most likely both going to be killed.
Buffy heard the brother’s gasp as well, and her head shot around to pin him with a deadly glare as she threw the useless female away from her in disgust, not caring a whole hell of a lot when she fell back into the wall and grunted in pain and surprise.
Stalking to the brother with predatory intent, she watched as he processed what his sister was telling him mentally. Unlike the female, he seemed resigned to what he saw. Or maybe he was resigned to what Buffy was going to do to them when he told her what he know knew. Either way, he managed to look at her with something akin to calmness in his eyes.
“Spike is gone.”
He didn’t even flinch when her hand snaked out and gripped him around the throat. He didn’t cower under her slicing words.
“What do you mean he’s gone? You mean he’s not in heaven? Is he already in hell? Tell me now, damn it! And don’t even think about holding out on me or I swear to God, I’ll make you wish you hadn’t.”
With each question, each rage and fear filled demand, her hand flexed tighter and tighter around his neck and he had to gasp a bit for air. Still, his calm never faltered.
“Not in heaven. Not in hell. He is gone.”
With a tremendous show of will, Buffy brought her fury under control. There was nothing she could do about the fear that ate at her. She wanted to hurt the oddly colored creature, she really did, but her need for information overrode the need to see him in as much pain as she was. She let go of his throat abruptly, so abruptly he staggered at the release, and stepped back to give him some breathing room. Not out of any sense of courtesy, but out of the demanding necessity to get the story from him as fast as possible.
“What in the hell are you talking about?”
The Oracle sighed. This was in no way going to be an easy telling. He was still trying to grasp what his sister had sent to him. This was something that had never happened before.
“The Powers had been watching the vam...Spike progress through the realm. They were able to view but in no way interfere. After you were removed, they watched the realm gather its forces to destroy him, as was expected. He should have been sent directly to the realm you know as hell. He was not. They are...unsure of what happened. You have to understand, they are the Powers, they have the ability to track every creature through every dimension that exists. Regardless of whether the creature is alive or dead - they have that ability. That...technology, if you will. They cannot locate Spike. He is gone. And they have no idea where he is, or how this could have happened. They are as confused and upset by this development as you are.”
Shrieking agony born from loss howled through Buffy’s soul but she didn’t break eye contact with the Oracle. In a hoarse whisper she told him, “Somehow, I highly doubt that is even remotely possible.”
It was stabbing, the pain. Hacking into her grotesquely, making her physically ill. She didn’t know what to do. If the Powers couldn’t find him, didn’t know where he was, what could she do? What was left for the Slayer to do?
Buried under the weight of her torment, she stumbled back a step before collapsing to her knees. Her thin but powerful arms wrapped around her stomach and she held on for dear life, clutching herself as she rocked against wave after wave of sorrow and grief. She was beyond tears, beyond sobs; the feelings were so strong they numbed her to her surroundings.
Buffy didn’t even feel the ground under her shift slightly, or tremble a bit as she knelt there. She didn’t see the waters in the shallow pool in front of her start to froth and jump erratically. She didn’t see the Oracles look at each other in surprise and fear as the pillars in the room started to sway dangerously.
And when the room tilted crazily, bucking and falling around her, all she felt was the loss of the man that was more than a man in much the same way that she was more than just a girl. And the heartache that came from not having the time to tell him that as she accepted both sides of herself, so too did she accept him.
And the tearing, searing, blinding pain caused by the bleak truth that she would never get to tell him that she loved him.
~*~*~*~*~*~
When Xander pulled Giles’ car back into the driveway and got out, he saw that the Watcher hadn’t moved an inch from where they’d left him. They’d been gone about thirty minutes and he hadn’t moved. A worried frown set on Xander’s face when he saw how haggard and tired Giles looked. He sighed.
Xander didn’t know if he could survive another loss like the one that had hit him when Buffy died, he was sure that Giles couldn’t.
Pasting a smile on his face, he hid his fear and doubt deep in the dark recesses of himself, recesses that he only looked at late at night, when he was alone.
“The cavalry has arrived, chock full of magickal spell making goodness. Any change?”
Giles didn’t even turn and look at him. “No. The energy appears to be sustaining itself quite effectively.”
Anya walked up next to Xander. “So, what do we do now? Ju- ”
She didn’t get to finish her question; it was cut off abruptly by the rolling ground underneath her feet.
The gang struggled to stay upright as the trembling subsided. They breathed a sigh of relief. A small earthquake was hardly enough to blink at after everything that they had been through and were going through. They exchanged sheepish grins, each one feeling their heartbeats returning to normal, embarrassed that a quake as small as that one had even effected them at all.
None of them were prepared when the next one hit, and the earth rose and fell alarmingly, dropping each one of them from where they stood. Exclamations of fear and horror were torn from all of them.
“Shit!” Yelled Xander as he bounced painfully along the pitching ground, railing against this new bit of nastiness, cursing the heavens, the powers, whatever was toying with them so unmercifully, “You have GOT to be fucking kidding me!!”
No one else said anything, they were too busy trying to stay out of the way of falling electrical polls and swaying trees. If it was a joke, if someone was indeed kidding them, it was by no means funny.
~*~*~*~*~*~
It wasn’t the astonishingly beautiful landscape. It wasn’t the snow-capped mountains in the distance or the lush green fields filled with flowers off to his left, cut through by the bubbling water of a small stream. It wasn’t even the shockingly blue sky or the sunshine beaming down on him warmly - and non-fatally - that had him staring slack-jawed and stunned.
Nope. None of that. What had Spike’s brain frantically scrambling to catch up with what his wide, demon-gold eyes were telling him was the positively adorable little girl that was sitting, cross-legged, not more than two feet from where he had been thrown, staring at him calmly and completely fearlessly.
Pixie curls of golden sunlight, a cherub’s face, button nose, and an angelic smile of amusement sat atop a tiny little body clad in well worn cut-off jean shorts and a lavender tank top with a picture of a...rearing unicorn of all things. Small, adorable bare feet peeked out from under her knees. Spike wasn’t certain, but he thought he saw her toenails painted with glitter nail polish.
She couldn’t have been any older than seven. Or, she couldn’t have been if it wasn’t for her eyes and the fact that there was no doubt in the vampire’s mind that the creature in front of him, this amazingly modern looking Shirley Temple type being, was in no way human - nor had she ever been human.
Her eyes weren’t a single color, they were a rainbow of all colors, and the colors were changing, swirling around even as he watched in wonder. They were huge, like small saucers in a precious face. And they were about as ancient as anything Spike had ever seen before. They were eyes that had seen at least seven eons, not seven years.
That, taken with the not human thing - she couldn’t be human and still be giving off a pinkish glow like she did, right? - had Spike seriously questioning just how hard a bump on the noggin he’d taken. Brain damage was the only possible explanation.
He shook his head and squeezed his eyes tightly shut, trying to stop the weird tricks they were playing on him. The bubbling, joyful sound of her giggles made him jump and he had no choice but to stare yet again. The picture hadn’t faded, the channel hadn’t changed, she was still there.
Wherever there was. One thing Spike knew, it wasn’t hell.
“Hi, Spike.” One dainty little hand reached up and waved enthusiastically at him. A perfect little row of baby teeth flashed as she grinned precociously. “Don’t worry, silly. We’re real.”
We’re? The use of the plural had Spike craning his neck around, looking for the others that the non-child referred to. As near as Spike could tell, they were alone. No one else was within sight - and his vampire sight went quite the distance, too.
The creature giggled again at the frantic search. “No, no, no. You don’t understand.”
Spike turned back to the little girl, not quite ready to speak yet, and lifted a brow questioningly.
Speaking patiently, and gesturing to herself with a careless wave, she said, “We. As in the us that is right here.”
Okay, Spike, must have been a mite worse than a bump on the head, seein’ little glowin’ chippies and what all. What’s worse than brain damage, mate?
The being saw the confusion on the vampire’s face and smiled sweetly. “It’s okay, Spike. It doesn’t matter. What’s important is that we’re here for a reason.”
The pain was finally receding to tolerable levels but the banging continued endlessly. And his temper was bubbling under his skin. As much as he wasn’t overjoyed with the idea that he was fated to spend the next good while burning in hell, he was displeased when strange, child-sized surprises of this magnitude dropped into his path. He hated it. Hated everything about it.
There was a sarcastic sneer in his voice when he finally spoke. “Reason. Right. Couldn’t let good ole Spike go on to his eternal torment without a few more pokes at the demon, eh? What are you, the bite-sized send off committee? Givin’ the vamp a view of what he’s gonna be missin’?”
Frustrated and angry at the assumption that he was still being played by the realm - even if it looked more like heaven should look now than it did before - and wincing with each pounding blast, Spike snarled. “And what in the bloody hell is that racket?!”
Appearing unperturbed by the harsh question, the little girl smiled widely. “First, this isn’t heaven. Pretty, though, isn’t it? And we’re glad you asked. That’s one of the reasons we’re here. But there are lots of reasons, so it’s not tops on the list.”
Spike glared at her. He was not amused. Furious...confused...not amused. “And just who the hell are you, pet?”
The little thing giggled again, not even slightly afraid of his menacing demeanor and cold, smooth question.
“Sorry. We can’t really tell you that. Well...okay, so that’s not completely true. We could tell you, but we won’t. You wouldn’t believe us.”
Spike snorted in derision. “Oh, now, why don’t you let me be the judge of that, luv. You’d be bloody surprised at just what I am capable of believin’ at this point. And while you go on ‘bout who you are, why not enlighten me as to where we are. Save me askin’ twice.”
Tiny shoulders lifted dramatically in a deep sigh only innocent children were capable of pulling off, but she wasn’t a child. And Spike doubted the innocence, no matter her appearance.
“Okay. But don’t say we didn’t warn you. We’re All. And you’re nowhere.”
Well, she was right. That made no sense whatsoever to the rattled vampire. But he’d be damned if he’d let her…them...whatever…know that. Stupid chit probably did it on purpose, too.
The entities stared at him, waiting for the next question, feeling it rattling around in his head - though to act on it before being spoken would be unspeakably rude. When he just grimaced and forced his game face back and away, looking around again in a mixture of surprise and wonder - and a touch of fear - they smiled wisely.
They were all there, the wonders that were them, though he was only being shown one merged vessel for easier communication. Explaining to him just what the vessel was, and who they are, would take far longer and be largely unimportant in the end.
They were pleased that he didn’t want to admit his ignorance. It made their job easier. They were also pleased that he was following true to form, choosing - making a conscious choice - to act with his humanity instead of his demon. It was further proof of his remarkableness.
“Reasons,” Spike finally said, refusing to give in to the obvious need for clarification of what she told him. He wasn’t going to ask her straight out, but there might be a way to ask around it, get some answers in a roundabout kind of way. “What reasons? And... not that I’m complainin’...but why am I not a burnin’ pyre of Spike? Generally speakin’, vampires tend to have a nasty allergic reaction to sunny rays.”
They knew what he was doing. It amused them. The decision was made among them to explain the where a little more - the ‘who’ would never be able to be explained in ways he could understand. That was too immense for him to ever hope to grasp.
“It’s not real sunlight, Spike. None of what you’re seeing is real. We told you - we’re nowhere. In a place that doesn’t exist. We’re...in between realities. And we’re here, we brought you here, because of what you have done for one of our children.”
That got Spike’s attention. His eyes widened and he sputtered in surprise. “One of your...children? I haven’t done anythin’ to any children. I can’t. I’m a neutered vamp, can’t hurt anythin’...well, except demons - oh, bloody hell. You’re not one of that hell bitch’s kin, are you? ‘Cuz I won’t be apologizin’ for how that went down. You may as well just send me on my merry way right now.”
“No, no.” Tinkling laughter bubbled over him much in the same way the creek nearby bubbled over the rocks in the streambed. “You’re funny. We said what you did for one of our children, not to one of our children. And, please, as if we would claim any relationship with that pathetic Glory creature. No, Spike, we’re talking about Buffy. What you have done for Buffy.”
The adult words mixed with the childish delight created an odd cadence of dialogue, surreal. But the minute the entity...entities...mentioned Buffy’s name, all of Spike’s motion, all of his thoughts, came to a screeching halt.
In a serious tone, and looking at the childish body through narrowed eyes, he said, “What are you, then, the Powers? Those mysterious Powers that Be that I’ve heard so much about? Why don’t you sod off with the horse and pony show, girl. I’ve no doubt you’re not what you appear to be. And if you are the Powers, you and I are gonna to go a round or two - just so there’s no mistake. I’m thinkin’ I may just have a good day in all this after all.”
He didn’t vamp out. If this creature was one of the beings that had started this whole mess, had needed Buffy to give up her rightful place in heaven, he was going to fight them, not with the demon, but with the man. He would die, no doubt about that, but they would know what they did was wrong. They’d bloody well know. He was through playing.
The entities heard the tone, saw his belief in what was right, and his disgust for the Powers - a disgust they just so happened to share. He was enraged, but he didn’t give in to the impulses that were throbbing through him. He was remarkable. But he was also right; it was time to get down to business.
In an aged voice that belied the youthful exterior, the combined entities told the vampire what he wanted to know.
“We’re not the Powers, vampire. Relax. We currently hold them in just as much contempt as you do. We are All. We are the creators of dimensions. Creators of universal realities. We are the beginning of everything. The Powers have been beneficial in policing the realities, and we have allowed them to continue in their rolls. In truth, they are not even aware of our existence. Their cause was our cause for more millennia than we can count. But they have become lax in their duties of late, and arrogant in their assumptions that they are infallible, as is evidenced by the current situation you find yourself in. We have taken it upon ourselves to step in, make our presence known - in a manner of speaking - and correct what could have been a grievous error.”
Spike’s mind was reeling. He wondered briefly just how many shocks a vampire could take before his head exploded. As the entities in front of him seemed disinclined to stop speaking, he hoped he hadn’t reached critical mass just yet.
“The Slayer is not their creation, she is ours. She is not their warrior, she is ours. They have perverted the role she was meant to play. And we don’t mean just Buffy, we have noticed a change towards our Slayers over the past several centuries, but when we Chose Buffy, we gave her more than the others. Made her more pure in her power. She should have been nurtured by the Powers, but instead she was beset by trials whose purpose was to strip from her everything that we had given her. They were under the mistaken impression that this would establish the balance that was needed to access her full potential. Unfortunately for them, they never once realized that she was different. And we made a mistake in letting it progress this far. We are now correcting that mistake by bringing you here.”
“Wait,” Spike interrupted, confused. “Not that I’d want to be defending those poncy buggers, but the two I spoke to, Oracles they were, they kept saying that Buffy was special. That she was The Chosen One. They knew that she was different.”
“You misunderstand,” the entities said, not unkindly, “or perhaps we misspoke. They knew she was The Chosen One, the Keeper of the Balance, but they never knew what was necessary for this one to reach her full potential. They tried to fit her into an outdated mold that had worked for millennia on others with less potential. They believed that the fastest way to achieve balance between to things...between the Slayer and the girl...was to remove one of them from the equation.”
Looking back on all that had been sacrificed by the Slayer that he loved in the past several years, Spike nodded, seeing the pattern and now recognizing it as an ultimately nefarious plan by ‘higher’ beings to get their way in the shortest...and, oh yeah, most painful manner. He hated them even more - if that was possible.
“And that’s where you come in, Spike. The soulless vampire with an infinite capacity for love, despite your nature.”
Spike was surprised. These entities knew him. Really knew him. And he squirmed a bit under their scrutiny.
“The irony is that the Powers got what they were working towards. As soon as Buffy died and entered the realm, she knew balance. But the part of her that was sacrificed was not the girl, as they had hoped. It was the Slayer. So you were tapped. That’s when you caught our attention. Then you did something that no one in the realities expected. You gave her back the Slayer, but Buffy didn’t lose her other side. In that one instant, in that horrible thing you did to reawaken the Slayer - that almost got you killed, by the way, the realm was going to send you to a quick demise right then and there, we restrained it - you gave her the balance that we had always wanted for her. She has evolved into the proper blend of Slayer and Buffy. And she is no longer their warrior; even now she fights against them. She is ours in total. Our child. The Keeper of the Balance as she was intended to be.”
The best...hell, the only response Spike had to all this information that was being thrust onto his shoulders so unexpectedly was, Holy Shit. He was just wise enough to prevent the words from slipping past his lips.
Floored, stunned into silence, he just gaped at the pretty non-child in front of him. It was just too much for him to take in all at once. And while he sat, quiet and humbled by the immense reality he was being made aware of, a reality that meant that Buffy was even further out of his reach than he had even guessed, the face of the angelic form in front of him smiled. There was sympathy in her incredible eyes but it was overlaid with humor. He realized, dryly, that they too had a front row seat in his brain. Sod it all. Now, why am I not surprised. What...is there a bloody book with step-by-step instructions to get into my head or somethin’? ‘Mindreadin’ Spike for Dummies’?
“She’s the same as she’s always been, Spike. Don’t think that the girl you love is in any way different because of this new balance. Or...wait...that’s not quite true, either. She is quite different. But in only the best possible ways. We think you’ll be pleased.”
Now that was just cruel. And the cruelty sliced into him as a huge surprise. It was out of character for such a tiny, cute looking creature. How could he be pleased? He would never get to marvel at the differences that are Buffy. He would never get to study the newness, learning her as he had learned her before. That was denied to him. He glanced down at his clasped hands in his lap, sorrow choking him.
They felt it, and were surprised by the flood of feeling. Then they remembered that they hadn’t told him. Oh dear. Breaking their own rule not to act on a creature’s thoughts unless those thoughts were verbalized, they spoke to him.
“Oh, Spike. We forgot to mention it, we thought you’d know.”
He didn’t raise his head. Sighing, disinterested in what they thought he didn’t know, he asked anyway - as much to give him something to say as anything. “What didn’t I bleedin’ know? That I’m not goin’ back? Sorry to disappoint, luv. I knew that.”
“No, silly. That you are going back. That’s why we stepped in and brought you here.”
Spike’s head shot up, surprised wonder and disbelief etched hauntingly on his face. He thought they just told him he was going back, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up only to have them dashed - that would be beyond painful.
“It’s true. You are. You’re needed there, Spike. Buffy’s balance is tenuous right now. Especially right now. And believe it or not, you are an integral part of that balance. Mostly because you are a man - but a little because you’re a vampire.”
Spike felt hope fade a little, and couldn’t believe what he was about to say. But it was Buffy, his Buffy, and she deserved the best. Spike knew she deserved happiness with the vampire that she loved. “Not me, then. Much as I hate to say it, she’s suffered enough. There’s another...like me...loves her like I do. And he’s a vampire with a soul. She loves him. She can be happy with him. Let her have him.”
The entities were moved, yet again, by the vampire’s willingness to sacrifice his own wants and desires for their child’s. “Angel. Yes, we know he is a vampire, and we know that he loves her. But there are two problems with your gracious sacrifice. One is, in fact, the very soul that he has.”
“Spike, it’s easy to do the right thing when you’re beleaguered by the consequences of doing the wrong thing. There’s still honor in following the just path, but Angel’s road to redemption is longer for the very reason that it pains him to not be on it. That’s not one of the burdens you bear. You don’t have a soul, but chose to do the right thing, regardless of the fact that you would feel no guilt in not doing it. In fact, you feel worse than you would’ve if you had done nothing. You saw the world that was to come if Buffy didn’t go back, your mind told you it was a bad thing, and it overrode your heart telling you that Buffy was better off where she was - despite the fact that you don’t have a soul, and wouldn’t feel the world’s pain as one who does. That’s true redemption - as much as we know it pains you to take it.”
There was a sly smile on the entities’ mouth. Spike shuddered at just how well they did know him, but he was fascinated by the words they spoke. Hope was, once again, rearing its treacherous head.
“Plus, that soul of Angel’s is insufficient in dealing with the fiery nature of the girl that you know. And then there’s the second thing...the other problem we mentioned...well, in truth, we just don’t like him as much as we like you. And we’re not the only ones who feel as such.”
He almost smiled at hearing that he was favored over the poof by these entities.
“And that banging you heard when you first arrived?”
That was odd, until they mentioned it, Spike hadn’t even realized that the banging had stopped. He was too engrossed in the things he was being told.
“That was another one of the reasons we spared you, as we mentioned. What you were hearing was a friend of yours, throwing herself into the wall between the nether realm and heaven, trying everything she knew to get in to get you out. You have amassed quite an entourage of humans willing to sacrifice themselves for you. And more willing to stand up and defend you. That’s impressive.”
Spike was really confused. He had no idea who the entities were referring to. “What do you mean, friend? What friend. What’re you on about, then?”
“Willow. The witch. She did a spell to follow your trail in the nether realm, hoping to get an idea of where you went. It was quite dangerous - she merged with your aura trail. Turned out a little different than she had anticipated, the spell went a little off for her, but we needed her to understand just what you were capable of in the emotions department. She’ll let the rest of them know. They wouldn’t just take Dawn’s word for it; they mistakenly assumed her month-long search for you was misplaced grief over her sister. Willow is unhurt, Dawn took it upon herself to go into the nether realm and get her. She is no longer connected with your aura.”
Spike didn’t know what to say. Wait...yeah, he did. Although shouting was closer to the truth.
“A-A MONTH! A bleedin’ month? Are you daft? I’ve only been on this sadistic little romp for a few days - what do you mean, a bloody month?”
One tiny shoulder raised in a casual shrug. “Time is relative. It changes from one realm to another, it is not a constant.” She pointed to the brook behind her. “It is more like that small stream right there - not one straight current, but eddy’s and ripples that travel at a much different pace than what appears to be the whole.”
“Do you mean to tell me, Dawn’s had the Wiccas lookin’ for me for a whole month?” Suddenly, he was quite proud of his Nibblet. And touched at her level of compassion for him - even after he failed in his role as her protector. He loved her just as much as he loved the sister. And he was going back! He would see her again!
The entities just nodded, a wide grin on the vessel’s face as they felt his joy.
“But we’re not allowing the Powers to control this return. We’re taking away their intended plan for returning the Chosen One, as well.”
A devilish gleam kindled to life in Spike’s eyes. Right now, anything that put a crimp in the Powers plan was to be considered a good thing. Bloody wankers, the lot of ‘em. Messin’ with my girl like they have.
“Just what are you plannin’ for the ripe bunch of bastards? And what can I do to help?”
They smiled, amused at the vampire’s glee. “We’re going to send you back in their current reality. Twenty-six days after Buffy died. We aren’t allowing the Powers to set back time. That would undo the work we’ve done in developing not only the witch, but Dawn as well. The whole group, in fact. What do you call them? The Slayerettes? Funny. We always knew you were funny. Once you’re there, they will be blocked from sending the Slayer back to that night because it would create a paradox. That’s another of the many reasons you are needed to go back. The group will need to start from this particular point of their development to assist the Chosen One in the next battle that’s to come. And they’ll need you to do it.”
Spike got to his feet and clapped his hands together. “Right, then. I’m ready and willin’. Who’re we takin’ on this time? The legions of hell themselves?”
Spike saw the serious expression fall heavily on the mite of a girl. It was the first time he’d seen her look less than precocious.
“The groundwork has been laid, Spike. We’re going to open a portal for you - but this one is a little different than what you went through with the Dialetyth. Or the one we used to bring you here. It is a portal between realities, not just between realms. We’re afraid there isn’t much we can do; it will be a bit painful. And the effects will be felt in all dimensions. Undoubtedly it will shake things up a bit.”
Spike was a little curious as to why they were avoiding his question, but he was too thrilled with the going back to let it bother him. He didn’t even care that it was going to hurt. What was a little pain after all he’d been through? The harsh reality sunk in though, when they finally did answer his question. And he wished they hadn’t.
“But that will work in our favor. It will allow us to announce our presence to the beings that will hunt us - or try to hunt us - when they realize we exist. The battle that is coming, Spike, will be against the Powers that Be, themselves.”
As the vampire felt the pull of the entities moving him towards a rippling wave in the air, he had one last thought before slipping through and into darkness.
Oh, bloody hell.