Homeward BoundBy Buddy
Interlude
Sunnydale, Sunday evening.Spike lay on his back very still with his head resting on one hand. The stillness was a lie and it took all his concentration not to twitch a foot or drum his fingers or pull girders from the walls. Xander had insisted on showering alone because he was a spoilsport and Spike could shower without having sex; he just didn’t want to.
He fingered his necklace and hoped his clothes weren’t creased; maybe he should pace instead? He jumped up and strode into the den, after deciding a smoke would help him stay calm and patient. He grinned, all those smokes over the years and he was still about as calm and patient as Jack Nicholson with a golf club.
His own shower had been hurried and he’d started to shave under the hot spray when he remembered he could look in the mirror now and actually see what he was doing. A few minutes later he had stared back at himself through steam and condensation. Vague recollections of his own image hadn’t prepared him for the reality, daguerreotypes and the odd photograph were unrevealing, merely two-dimensional.
He was shocked when he realised that the paintings by Angelus had captured him perfectly. All this time Spike had believed them to be a labour of love rather than a true representation; yet the only notable difference was the blonde. You couldn’t buy that colour for the hair or the paint palette back in the day.
He stared into unnaturally blue eyes, the colour of heat-treated Tanzanite, with a faint line the colour of Citrine surrounding the pupil. Framed by dark brows against alabaster skin they commanded attention like an ink splodge on white paper.
A full bottom lip drew his gaze, and as his tongue darted out to moisten it he understood Xander’s fixation. Blunt teeth nibbling, fangs slicing, tongue tracing, tasting, never really getting enough, and then laughter as it swelled because it pronounced his pout.
An absence of flesh caused shadows to adhere beneath his cheekbones hitching a ride to where ever he wanted to take them. They clung on to the cutting edge, created by hollows his lover would relentlessly try to fill with tongue, lips, fingers and brow.
He noted the flare of his nostrils and the jut of his chin and became the startled recipient of his own arrogance. Errant curls sprang from his sideburns and he ran his hands through his hair. The resulting spirals coupled with the firmness of his jaw line echoed the image of Michelangelo‘s ‘David‘.
He had smiled at himself, pleased with what he saw; it animated the way he felt instead of influencing it.
Xander came out of the bathroom with a towel loosely draped around his hips. He too was clean-shaven and he looked impossibly young. His hair was long and wild, dripping water down his neck and shoulders, clinging to eyelashes, turning them darker against his golden skin. Spike felt a sudden urge to lick him all over, a thought not in any way diminished by the frank admiration in Xander’s eyes; eyes that widened when they saw the look in Spike’s.
“Stay right where you are, I’m going to get dressed and you’re going to let me. I want to take you out, forget the Hellmouth and prophecies and even the rest of the gang. Tonight, I want to do the things that couples do.”
Spike moved towards him slowly, a smile eating up his face. Xander backed away and started to protest, but Spike pressed a cool finger against his lips and slid his other arm around his waist, pulling him gently into his embrace. He looked into his lover’s eyes and reached up to capture his lips. It was a soft kiss, his lips pressed so lightly it left Xander wanting more. Spike didn’t even part his lips, just increased the pressure slightly before moving away. No embellishments, no words; he simply walked over to the other side of the room and retrieved his smokes.
His hair looked as though he’d just had a roll in the hay and Xander was desperate to bury his nose and fingers in it. He was wearing the shirt that Xander had bought him in LA; the colour cast his skin in stark relief. He was naked underneath it and Xander could almost feel the way the fabric moved over his body, touching places he’d explored so many times. His jeans had been discarded for soft black moleskin trousers that did little to hide the give away tenting in the front, and Xander found himself taking a step towards him. Spike smirked at him.
“Better get ready then Pet, wouldn’t want to get sidetracked.”
He blew out a billow of blue smoke and stretched out on the couch. His feet were bare and Xander could almost feel the wiggle of his toes as he imagined his tongue licking up his instep and pushing in between them. What were the chances Spike would listen if he insisted on bare feet all the time they were in the apartment together?
“Ok, I’ll just be a minute then.”
His towel fell as he turned and walked into the bedroom and Spike was treated to a fleeting glimpse of biteable ass. He finished his cigarette and got up to rifle through Xander’s CD collection. He got the distinct impression his Boy wanted romance and he could do that; in fact he liked the idea very much. He pulled out Toploader’s ‘Onka’s Big Moka’, put it on and went over to the refrigerator to get them both a beer.
Xander felt odd; thoughts jarred in his head barely coherent, tumbling around over and over until they ceased to be thoughts and simply registered as a bad feeling. His instinct screamed at him to just do what came naturally and that usually involved being near to Spike, touching Spike and making sure that every waking moment he had free was spent with Spike, but he was beginning to suspect that if he didn’t find a balance he might lose his mind.
Perhaps he could love his vampire as he would a human. Ok they had to fight Sunnydale nasties, but that shouldn’t always stop them from going out, mingling with friends, ‘picking out China and linens‘, going on holiday, planning, planning what? Christmas for god sakes? He didn’t know, but he had to do some of the things he used to do with Anya, normal things, so he didn’t have to think about how Spike had refrained from killing Lilah Morgan and just how much he had wanted to. He turned and Spike was looking at him intently, the look he gave him was predatory and full of desire for him; it calmed him.
Spike paused in the bedroom doorway to take in the picture he was presented with. As Xander dried his hair it tumbled in soft waves over his face and it was long enough in the sides now to cover his sideburns. At the back it fell below the nape of his neck and Spike stifled the impulse to ruffle it up. He thought about his imminent return to work and wondered how easy it would be to stalk him.
Xander was wearing a pair of suede pants the colour of molasses, and they were tighter than he would normally wear them in all the right places. He looked over at Spike and sent him a smile slightly off kilter as he pulled on a rich cream shirt; it looked as though it was made of raw silk and the colour showed up the soft dark hairs at the hollow of his throat. Spike bit his lip and resisted the temptation to follow their upward journey with his tongue as he handed Xander his beer. Instead he began to sing along to the track that was playing.
We like our fun and we never fight
You can’t dance and stay uptight
It’s a supernatural delight
Everybody was dancing in the moonlight
Dancing in the moonlight
Everybody’s feeling warm and bright
Spike’s eyes slid hungrily over Xander’s dressed form.
It’s such a fine and natural sight
He swigged his beer and tried to peel his eyes away from Xander’s ass as he bent down to tie his shoe laces. Was he deliberately being seductive or was he really unaware of the effect he was having? Xander retrieved his wallet out of the trousers he had discarded the night before and pocketed it. He reluctantly passed Spike a pair of socks and boots and was treated to an eyeful of taut muscle when he bent over to put them on.
“You know these are gonna be too big don’t you?” Spike complained.
“I know but it’s better than wearing your DM’s with that outfit. You won’t have to walk far anyway.”
“I won’t?”
“Well there‘s lots of choices when it comes to interesting ways to die in Sunnydale. If you want to eat out, not so much, so I’ve reserved a table at ‘Aurora’s’ over in Carlton, I’ll drive.”
Xander swallowed a mouthful of his beer before pulling Spike towards him for a kiss; it was a little more satisfying than the last one, a promise for later. He closed his eyes against the heady scent of his lover; it was hard to pull away from the combined aroma of citrus, tobacco, patchouli and …sex. His cock hardened and he forced himself to step away; that path wouldn’t lead them out of the door. He settled for another mouthful of his beer and tried to steady himself.
They linked hands as they left the apartment to get in the car, Spike under a blanket against the dying rays of the sun. As he lowered the sunshade he jumped at his smiling reflection in the side view mirror. The smile faded a bit when he realised what a hindrance it could prove to be; there was nothing quite like being able to sneak up on your enemies unseen.
“Does it feel funny?” Xander asked as if he had always been able to read his mind. He pulled out into the traffic and waited for Spike to answer.
“It’s going to take some getting used to. ‘Course you do realise that if this happens to Angel, Buffy will never get him away from the mirror.” Xander laughed, relieved to have conversation.
“Prophecies will be fulfilled and the world may even end, but Angel’s hair will go out in style. I can just see it now, him and Cordelia in Neimann Marcus, or poring over fashion magazines, exchanging beauty tips. Maybe for Christmas we should get him a subscription to FHM.” Xander grinned maliciously and Spike scowled.
“Bugger Angel at Christmas!”
“I‘m not swapping your ass for anyone’s and I won‘t have time for both of you.” Spike slid a smirk his way.
“Looks like I’d better get into the Christmas spirit after all.”
“Why, don’t you normally celebrate Christmas? Say, you’re not Jewish are you?”
“Xander how many times have you seen me naked? Besides, how many vampires do you know who celebrate Christmas? Actually, it’s not that I didn’t celebrate it before, but Drusilla’s idea of celebrating Christmas had very little to do with goodwill to all men. It was more a case of how many good men could she eat in one sitting. Of course since Dru, I haven’t really bothered. Just watched the telly and drank bourbon, it isn’t as though I’ve been invited to join in the local festivities recently.”
Xander’s face twisted at the unwelcome memory of a number of his own Christmas festivities over the years. Spike and Drusilla‘s idea of how to spend it sounded oddly more appealing than listening to his parents drunken brawling, plus they’d had the added bonus of a warm bed to lay in at night instead of a sleeping bag out in the open. He really didn’t want to dwell on it.
“Well there was that whole you not liking us and still wanting to kill us consideration. Though - and I’ve thought about this a lot - if you really had wanted to kill us there was nothing to stop you from getting somebody else to do it. So, why didn‘t you?”
“Bloody hell, where’s the fun in that? I always thought I’d get the soddin’ chip out. Had gory deaths by ma own two hands planned for the lot o’ yer; you would have been first.”
“Ok, maybe the notion of a romantic evening goes way over your head.” Xander felt a momentary sense of de`ja vu and realised this reminded him of Anya’s tales of her old demon days.
Spike slid his hand up and down Xander’s thigh and then slowly interlaced his fingers with his again. Xander squirmed as Spike moved closer to whisper in his ear. He moved away from him and the car swerved slightly.
“Hello, trying to drive here, need to concentrate.“ Spike ignored Xander’s comments and crowded his space again.
“I think you would have died happy, you see I had a hankering for you before I ever fell for Buffy. Oh it wasn’t love, but I sure wouldn’t have minded a piece of you. I think I would have kept you too, we could have had a brilliant unlife together.”
“You’re either mocking me or testing the theory that we‘re supposed to be immortal” His voice was unsteady, the idea of Spike being hot for him when he was still evil made him hard again. Spike’s voice was like silk.
“Neither one, but you should know this Xander. After a little inventive persuasion you would have been willing, and once you were addicted and couldn’t live without my ass, I would have turned you.”
“Willing?” Spike treated him to an arrogant grin.
“Think about it Love.”
“You wouldn’t have got that far with me, there’s no way I would have entertained you in those days!”
Xander’s pants were beginning to feel uncomfortable; he should have stuck with a looser fit. Spike smirked at him, smelling his arousal.
“And the thought’s not affecting you now, at all?”
Xander closed his eyes briefly at the images Spike had conjured up and then remembered he was supposed to be keeping his eyes on the road. How did he do it? They had spent all day making love and still he could get him hot. He looked at Spike quickly before looking back at the road.
“Ok, I’ll admit to one or two less than idle fantasies involving you. Remember that first night you stayed with me in the basement? You made some quip about not biting me even if you could and the thought of you doing just that kept me awake for hours, wondering what it would be like.” Spike closed his eyes and stole oxygen.
“It might be better to tell me this when the car’s not moving. Pull over.”
“No, two can play those games Gorgeous.” Spike raised a sardonic eyebrow; Xander never called him pet names.
“The thing is while you were sleeping, I actually stood right next to you. I was so close and afraid to move so much as a muscle in case I woke you. I don’t know how I got that far, but if you had wanted me that night. I’m not even sure what I thought I was going to do but I wanted.. something.”
“Changed your mind did you?” Xander groaned at the memory.
“You moved in your sleep and muttered something. I was back in bed before you’d settled down again. I think I pretty much repressed the whole thing since.”
“Not enough to fool Anya.” Spike lifted his scarred eyebrow.
“Is it my fault she’s so perceptive? All the time I was watching you I told myself it was simply fascination.”
“So, if I had caught you that night, what would you have done?”
“I can do suave, I would have said I was checking your ropes, or ok, it’s possible I would have panicked.”
“Yeah that’d work 007.“
“You were tied to the chair Spike. I would have left town before you’d stopped smirking.”
“What was the other time? You said, ‘one or two less than idle
fantasies‘.”
“Just a figure of speech.”
“Oh come on!” Xander took his eyes of the road again to look at Spike.
“Some other time, let your curiosity simmer for a while.”
“I prefer satisfaction, tell me.”
“No.”
“Please.”
“You’re saying please? You want to know that bad?”
“Only as much as you really want to tell me.”
“I can wait, delayed gratification heightens satisfaction.” Xander risked another glance and this time Spike’s eyes smirked at him.
“I hope you remember that when the boot’s on the other foot.”
Xander changed gear to turn the corner and then made a left into a car park outside a very fancy looking restaurant.
“Are you sure this is the right place, it looks like you need ‘American Express’ stamped on you forehead to even get through the door.”
“Agreed, it’s a little more up market than either of us are used to, but they’re less likely to turn unwanted attention towards two guys macking on each other.”
“I’m not shagging you in public!”
“That’s not what I meant, and yes you would.” Xander smiled at him indulgently. “Come on, I hear this is a really nice place. They have booths to sit in, cosy little corners with soft lighting, and the music’s nice. The food’s supposed to be good too.” He planted a soft kiss on his lips and breathed in the scent of him.
“Mine.” He said softly, his voice a whisper.
“Oi! That’s not fair. You can’t say that and then expect me to let you out the car.”
Spike put his arms around him and held him for a minute, and they exchanged more kisses. They were gentle at first but then became more urgent. He pulled away shakily and looked up into yellow eyes.
“Come on Love, I’m hungry and if we keep this up, I won’t want to leave.”
“Spike I do love you.” Xander breathed into his hair.
“I know you do. I love you.” Yellow eyes softened but they didn’t change colour.
“You might want to rethink the look before we go in Pet, they may be liberal in there when it comes to same sex couples but I doubt they’re willing to cater to whatever else it is we are.” The colour of Xander’s eyes segued back to smoky quartz.
He locked up the car and grabbed Spike’s hand again and they walked over to the double doors. Spike felt envious of the warm breeze that ruffled Xander’s hair and grinned at himself for the absurdity. The remnants of the sun streaked the horizon in reds, golds and yellows and he marvelled that one day he might walk under it again.
As they entered the place they were hit by a plethora of different aromas that included spices and cooked meats, cologne and perfume, sweat, blood and pheromones. Xander was very disturbed but not entirely surprised when his mouth filled with saliva. A waiter escorted them to their table and handed them a menu each.
The lighting was subdued, tiny wall lamps scattered around the restaurant and candles in the booths. Sade’s ’Your Love is King’ was being piped quietly through discreetly hidden speakers and Spike rolled his eyes at Xander and pretended to barf. The waiter fixed then with a friendly smile and asked if he could get them a drink.
“Coke for me thanks, Spike?”
“I’ll have beer, something English if you have it.” The waiter nodded and left.
They sat opposite each other, Xander’s favourite position from which to see him when they weren’t making love. He wished he could paint or draw or even take decent photographs. What were the chances of stealing one of Angel’s paintings, or the chance that he still had them? Spike looked up from his menu and smiled at his scrutiny.
“What?”
“You are gorgeous.” Spike’s smile grew bigger but he couldn’t resist raising a quizzical eyebrow before he reached across the table to cover Xander’s hand.
“What? I know I’m even starting to sound like you now aren’t I?”
“Yeah well, I’ve been called far worse things, I think Angel still has a list somewhere.”
Xander entwined his fingers with his and brought them close to his lips. He kissed them before he let go and they both went back to reading the menu by candlelight. After a few minutes the waiter brought over their drinks and asked them if they were ready to order. They were, and they did and Spike thought about lighting a cigarette and dismissed it.
“So what are we going to see at the flicks then?” Xander grinned at him and Spike ran a boot-clad foot slowly up his shin.
“I did some ringing around while you were getting ready and there’s a theatre company here in town who just happen to have a show on tonight in the Town Hall.” Xander looked worried for a moment.
“You do like the theatre don’t you?”
“It depends, will there be any violence?” Spike looked at him in earnest. Then his face softened at Xander’s expression and he reached for his hand again.
“You’re taking this romance stuff seriously aren’t you? I like it Pet, it hasn’t happened to me in an age.”
“Oh? When exactly was there any romance in your life? And please, nothing involving Angel, I don‘t think I have the stomach for that right now.”
“Well you know Drusilla did have her moments. In fact she had more than a few, it’s just that no one knew what she was on about half the time, so’s you’d only pick up on it in hindsight. But she did used to bring me nice things. Ok, so she’d kill to get them but they were always thoughtful.
Like this one time in Italy; we went to a poetry recital. I really liked this chap’s poetry, Mario ..er bloody .. something Italian ..”
“What, he was related to you?”
“Very funny Love. Anyway, we were lucky enough to meet him because he took a bit of a fancy to Drusilla. She was charmed by the attention but then she got a lot of that, she is a looker after all. Any way the upshot of it is this, he invited us ‘round to his home with a variety of other guests for a dinner party. I can just remember the way her eyes gleamed at him, poor bugger thought his luck was in and Drusilla was already plotting his horrible death.”
Xander shook his head as Spike paused to drink his beer and geared up to please his audience. He tried to reconcile the two versions of Spike he had in his head. It wasn’t that long since he and Drusilla carried the mantle of what remained of the Scourge of Europe. He had done some horrific things before the chip was implanted, but Xander couldn’t bring himself to dwell on that part.
It worried him that he was willing to accept it so readily and he felt a need to justify it. It had all been a part of Spike’s journey, part of what shaped who he was today, his Spike, and he’d accepted far greater atrocities from Anya’s past so maybe he’d always …been very selective with that generosity if he was honest with himself. He felt a pang of self-loathing as he thought of his past treatment of Angel and wondered if now he was finding it easier to relinquish his humanity or if he simply just growing up
He listened to the fondness in Spike’s voice for the old days and it reminded him of an old friend of his mom’s who had finally quit the booze. She knew she had done the right thing, and she certainly didn’t hang around with his mom any more, but the last time he had spoken to her she couldn’t help the nostalgia that entered her voice when she recalled some of her worst hangovers.
“This is a fine tale Spike, but up to now not seeing the romance.” Xander sipped his coke and wished for a beer.
“Well you have to know where to look for it Pet and I’m getting to that part. The party itself was a total bore, full of middle class dullards, and in the end it wasn’t the party that mattered; it was the invitation.
Dru’ went to see him again without me and she brought me back a little gift. Mario’s quill pen, hand still attached. Said it would help me acquire greatness.” Spike laughed. “Course we had to leave the area pretty sharpish, he was high profile and we had been seen in his company, especially Dru.” Xander shook his head again.
“I get how you would class that as romance, but for me it shouldn’t have to involve the leaving of the country.” Spike laughed at him again.
“And still with the linear thinking Xander. It’s only a matter of time before we are arrested for public indecency and it won’t feel like criminal behaviour, just that we got caught up in the moment. It’s shades of grey isn’t it? I do know there’s a big difference between shagging in the open and killing someone for a romantic gesture, but between a vampire and a human the principle’s still the same.”
Xander thought about what he said for a moment and felt something monstrous unfurl in his chest. How could he argue with him, didn’t he act more like a vampire now anyway? How long would it be before these stories held no horror for him at all? How long before he guest starred? Ultimately his life was all about Spike now, no matter how he tried to fight the changes that were altering his concepts. He managed to speak but it didn’t sound like his voice.
“For me, where you’re concerned, there is no thinking. It’s all instinct and want and need.”
He fought to keep his countenance and his eyes blazed yellow for a moment. Lust swept through Spike and his pupils dilated at the sound of possession in his voice, as much as at the words he said. He leaned towards him, intent on lip plunder but was interrupted by the waitress who brought over their meals. She broke the moment as she put them down next to them with a flourish and left to get their drinks refilled.
Spike looked at Xander and wondered why he had his head down. Mixed signals were rolling off him in waves, arousal was the strongest but there was something in the mix that rubbed his fur the wrong way. Maybe he should lighten the mood a little?
“’Course, Dru’s got the whole insanity thing going on, but there were times when she made sense, you just had to listen carefully to what she said or think carefully about the things she did. A hundred years with someone helps yer to decipher the loony and she did have coherent moments.
Mostly she just wanted me to see what she could see. She was always going on about the stars, saying they were singing to her, and how she could see them when I could see sod all. Then there was that fateful night during the Second World War when I could see them too.”
“See, I always knew insanity was catching, it explains a lot.”
“I woke up, and as I lay in bed I looked up at the stars, the clear sky and the endless horizon. And in that moment of tranquillity I turned to Drusilla and said,
“Where the fuck’s the roof gone?””
Xander looked at Spike stunned for a moment and then laughed. It was a big belly aching laugh that drew attention to them from the booths nearby. Two women in smart suits, who had been sharing an animated conversation over chardonnay, looked over and gave them ‘aren’t they cute?’ smiles, and two men in leather caught Spike’s eye. One looked startled at the outburst and the other looked as if he wished he were sitting at their table instead. Spike gave a satisfied grin at Xander’s response and puffed out his chest at their audience.
He loved making Xander laugh because it was usually the other way round. He laughed so openly, no attempts to cover his mouth. It was unselfconscious and infectious, and the people around them were laughing and they didn’t even know why. Xander recovered his composure and reached for Spike’s hand, happy that the serious feelings he had been experiencing had been given some perspective.
~*~
Spike was fairly certain that food hadn’t tasted this good since he was human. The chicken had been marinated in delicately flavoured herbs and white wine before it was grilled, and the marinade used as a base for a rich creamy sauce. Baby new potatoes had been steamed in fresh mint and the kale, green beans and carrots cooked al dente.
He closed his eyes with each mouthful and licked his lips to catch the traces of sauce that tried to get away. Xander watched his face, his own meal forgotten for the moment. He had seen Spike look this way before, but only in the throes of passion. Oh god, how could the sight of Spike enjoying a meal be construed as foreplay?
“It’s that good?” Spike opened his eyes in surprise.
“It’s like tasting you.”
“Ok, eew!”
“No, I don’t mean literally, it doesn’t taste like you. It’s just that potent; my taste buds are wired to all my erogenous zones. I think I may turn out to be a very fat vampire, could you live with that?”
“Spike I live with the fact that you killed people for food and sport for 120 years. What’s a bit of extra poundage in the greater scheme of things? Besides that means there’ll just be more of the gorgeous” Spike grinned at him and fed him some chicken. Xander nodded in appreciation and continued.
“I have some idea of what you mean, I’ve rediscovered all my senses again since we Bonded, and disturbingly gained a few new ones … hey, can vampires even get fat?”
“Of course they can, Angel’s got a belly that’s coming along like he’s just passed his first trimester, I’ve also noticed a little grey around the temples; I suppose it could just be a trick of the light.”
“I’m telling him.”
“Why, d’you suddenly hate me?”
“No, I just want to see the expression on his face. He can’t check himself out in the mirror so he’ll drive Buffy and everybody else up the wall with questions; I thought you’d want the credit.” Xander polished off his steak and eyed the dessert cart. Spike saw the greedy gleam in his eye.
“Maybe we should skip dessert until later, delayed gratification is supposed to be more satisfying.” Xander widened his eyes at him suspiciously.
“If you’ve suddenly become a Buddhist monk, or possibly Sting.” Spike sighed heavily.
“I need a better publicist, I don’t understand this bad rep’ I seem to have picked up.”
“Spike, even the William Morris Agency couldn’t save you.”
“I behaved while you were in the shower!”
“You teased me when I came out!” Spike managed to cover a grin.
“I rest my case. Teasing is all about delaying gratification.”
“We’re talking about your lack of ability to delay gratification here, not your ability to drive me nuts. I think the defence rests too soon.” Spike laughed.
“Nuts eh? You were the one who wanted to shower alone, all I did was kiss you.”
“It was contrived and manipulating, all you wanted to do was have sex.” Xander felt the disappointment blossom in his chest like ink in water. Spike saw his expression change.
“What is it Love?”
“You hate it don’t you? The evening out was a terrible idea. I just thought we could do other things besides have sex and Bond. Not that I don’t love doing that, and often, but relationships should be about more than that, don‘t you think?”
“I don’t hate it, and I don’t understand what it is I’m missing here, except maybe your brand of logic. We do have more than just a great, scratch that; fucking amazing sex life. You’ve been happy with the way things have gone up to now , so what’s changed?”
Spike felt anxiety try to break free and he quelled it. How had they gone from a romantic evening to upset and fear so quickly? Perhaps he shouldn’t have been so cock sure of the way Xander felt about him, his track record for relationships wasn’t exactly glowing and Drusilla had up and left him after 120 years, so there were no guarantees. He told himself to get a grip because he knew this was different, Xander wasn’t going to leave him but he was in a panic about something.
Xander saw the look of confusion, fear and misery cross Spike’s face and wanted to do himself damage. He moved so quickly to get to Spike’s side, that a passing waiter gaped when he realised the blur was a person. He grabbed his hand and looked closely at his face.
“Of course I’m happy Spike, I’ve never been happier in my life. I’m just worried about the things that are happening to me. I’m not even sure what they all are, and up to now, wow! I can deal. They’re pretty awesome, with huge benefits like the possibility of eternity with you. It’s the fact I do love it all so much that scares me.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I don’t want to totally lose my humanity, and if we can still do stuff like this, maybe I won’t.”
Spike could see the two ‘chardonnay’ women eyeing them curiously and the ‘leather twins’, who were arguing quietly were also casting furtive glances in their direction. Xander’s hand didn’t feel as warm as usual, almost as though his own temperature had equalised. He wondered just why it was that he didn’t feel like a big sap, sitting this close to another male in public, holding hands; the only other hand he’d held in public was Drusilla’s and he’d done that for over a hundred years.
“I love the savage side of you; bring the chains out again any time you like. But I fell in love with you before the changes remember? I don’t want to lose those parts of you either and I don’t think that‘s gonna happen, the changes so far have mostly been physical.”
“You don’t understand, I think I could have killed to get away from that place. It wasn’t just the being kidnapped part, it was mostly being separated from you. Before I would have just been scared because I couldn’t do anything but hope Buffy would come and save me, but I wanted to make someone pay so bad I could taste blood. I’ve never felt rage like it.
Then there’s the possessiveness and the jealousy I keep feeling. The scary thing is I always thought they were bad emotions to have, but they feel normal, good even. It hasn‘t affected you that way” Spike flashed him a grin.
“Well how would you tell the difference? I am possessive and jealous when I’m in love, it’s part of who I am.” Xander looked at him solemnly.
“What if I can’t control it Spike? What if the wrong person pisses me off?”
“Is that what you’re worried about?” Spike’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline.
“Xander you’re learning pretty much on your feet with this thing and I for one am impressed. You are controlling it, it wasn’t too long ago that you couldn’t leave the house without having a sensory orgasm, but you’ve mastered that. And it’s not as if you’ve felt a need to start feeding from others, which I for one am thrilled about because I want you to be greedy for me. I like it when you’re possessive of me, it’s what I know, and the jealousy you’re feeling will pass, you know yourself that it’s unfounded.”
“I know it is. I hate feeling like that.”
“As for any murdering instincts, well you were in an extreme situation. It was about survival, who wouldn’t feel like you did under the circumstances? Believe me when I say Lilah is only unhurt because she saw sense and cooperated. But that doesn’t mean that I feel like that all the time and there’s no reason you should. And don’t forget you’re surrounded by humans who love you; they can only be a good influence. It’s when you start thinking about murder for fun that you need to worry.”
“Then there’s that whole Buffy would kick my ass if I put it out of line consideration.” Xander wondered what she would make of this conversation. Had she gone over the possible outcomes herself when trying to make a decision regarding Bonding with Angel?
“This humanity thing, I can understand you trying to hold on to it, I’ve spent the last two years trying to recapture it; I guess it’s a work in progress for both of us.”
“I think you kinda had it forced on you Spike, not that I’m convinced you ever lost all of your human qualities. I guess we’ll both be walking a tightrope for a while.” Spike smiled at him and now he did feel a big sap because a remark like that not so long ago would have made him feel defensive, now he just felt understood.
“I don’t much go for relationship politics, I tend to rely on instinct, which hasn’t served me very well tonight has it? I’m sorry Love, I had no idea you were feeling that way. Perhaps next time you wouldn’t mind filling me in and then there’s less chance of me fucking it up.”
Xander suddenly realised that he didn‘t actually have to work the problem out before he discussed it with Spike; whatever the problem was, he could just tell him he had one. He would want Spike to come to him if something was messing with his head, and if he couldn’t express what he was trying to say; well then he would help him.
“This isn‘t your fault, I should have just told you how I was feeling. I didn’t really start thinking about it until we got back to the Hyperion, but it was all mixed up with relief and being with you again. I didn’t say anything before because my head was chaotic and I didn’t want to say it badly.”
He thought about the look that had crushed Spike’s face for the couple of seconds his mind went into free fall. His heart ached to think he’d caused it and he thought he could get seriously into self-flagellation. Great, he was starting to understand Angel more every day! Spike touched the side of his face.
“Boy you can’t half bury it deep. The truth is though I’ve been so wrapped up in it all I haven’t stopped to consider the possibility you might feel strange about any of it.”
Xander didn’t care who was looking he kissed him, very softly on the lips and told him he loved him with his eyes. Spike visibly relaxed and Xander reluctantly released his lips.
“We both got wrapped up in it and it’s only today that I’ve really started to get the wiggins. You’ve helped, who would have thought you had calm in you?”
“Isn’t that what truly loving someone is about? You know I’m not a calm vampire Xander, but I’ll always find what you need. That’s what we have besides sex and Bonding, because you do the same for me.”
“I need you, I’m sorry I scared you, I have to stop making with the crazy.”
“As long as nothing happens to you, and you always want and need me, I won’t be scared of anything.”
They heard a discreet cough and looked up simultaneously to see the waitress who brought them their meal standing just outside their booth. She didn’t look at all put out by their close proximity to one another and simply enquired if they would want any dessert. She smiled, bewildered, as they both burst out laughing.
“We’ll have a bit of everything in one dish, two spoons.” Spike beamed at her.
“Everything Sir?”
“Yes please, and we’ve finished with this lot.” Xander waved at the empty plates, which she started to gather up.”
“Will Sirs be wanting coffee too?” Xander nodded and Spike asked for another beer. Xander started to get up and Spike put a restraining hand on his thigh.
“Where’re you going? We can’t share pudding if you sit back over there.”
“I’m going to the bathroom Gorgeous, don’t eat it all before I get back.”
When Xander returned, Spike hand a serving dish in front of him and was already tucking in to a mountain of fruit and cream, chocolate sauce and crumbled cookies, many things that Xander wasn’t sure how to describe, and something that looked suspiciously like treacle sponge and custard.
“No wonder she questioned us Pet, it would seem that not everything they offer is on the cart over there. It might look like a gastronomic nightmare, but it tastes like a dream.” Xander sat back down next to Spike and wondered if the price for eating it would be a night of barfing over passion.
“Ok I’m a brave little soldier. I’m going in.” Spike slipped his free hand into Xander’s.
“Feeling better Love?”
Xander was prevented from answering immediately because his attention was distracted by one of the ‘leather twins’ tossing money down on the table and leaving in a huff. The guy left sitting there looked mildly uncomfortable but relieved and he gave Xander a weak smile.
“Way better than he does, that’s for sure.” He turned back to Spike. “Thanks to you.” He grimaced at the cholesterol-laden death wish in front of him and decided delayed gratification was just the theme for the evening and he’d wait until he could have Spike instead. He put his spoon down, but Spike tucked in happily.
“So what are the local thespians putting on tonight?”
“Don’t laugh.”
“Ok I won’t.”
“‘An Ideal Husband’.” Spike snorted into his beer.
“For that you don’t get any wine.“
“S’ok, beer’s fine.” Spike grinned at Xander’s pout. “I saw that play when it first opened, January 1895 at the Theatre Royal, London”
“Don’t tell me, Darla tried to eat Oscar Wilde.”
“No, but I for one would have loved to have chained him to a ceiling and tortured him. It’s amazing what you can pull from an artistic wit when they’re in indescribable pain. Are you sure you wouldn’t have rather gone to the pictures?”
“What’s not to like? The women wear figure hugging dresses with those bustle things on their behinds, and Oscar Wilde’s sarcasm reminds me a lot of yours; the vein if not the delivery. I thought you’d like it. How come you and your old buds met all the famous people? What‘s up with that?”
“I probably would have met far more had I listened to Angelus and Darla. They were drawn to money and power, I just wanted to fight and shag and feed. I couldn’t always get away with it though and on more than one occasion I was forced into foppish finery and told I would become cultured and educated. It wasn’t all bad, I may have failed miserably when I was alive in the poetry writing department but I developed an appreciation for it since, all the arts really.”
“You’re spoiling all my illusions about you now.”
“You should be happy, I appreciate you don’t I?”
“Yes you do, often and in many different positions. Come on Spike. Let’s get outta here.”
~*~
The theatre wasn’t enormous by any stretch of the imagination and Spike’s face fell when the chances of extra curricular activities plummeted. He’d just have to be inventive, and bugger they had front row seats! Perversely, the magnificent erection he was sporting refused to go away despite his disappointment and he grinned thinking about the effects of delayed gratification. He figured that by the time they got home he would be able to carve their initials into the trunk of a tree without the aid of a knife.
He kept hold of Xander’s hand throughout the first act. He would occasionally trace the outline of his fingers or circle the centre of his palm with his thumb, as much a comforting gesture as foreplay. He could smell Xander’s arousal and closed his eyes occasionally to let it wash over him. He savoured the effect it was having and unconsciously licked his lips when his eyes slid over the prominent bulge that Xander failed to hide with his programme.
During the intermission Xander went to the bathroom whilst Spike jostled the crowd to get to the bar for drinks. He felt a familiar tingle down his spine and nodded to the vampire at his side. It was unusual to see a vampire so well dressed, or clean for that matter and Spike reckoned he must be the Master around these parts.
Xander returned and caught the look the vampire gave to Spike and the way he inclined his head before he left.
“D’you know that guy?” Spike handed him a frosted glass chock full of chinking ice and coke and swigged his beer before answering.
“Not exactly. He’s a vampire, I reckon he’s the Big Daddy in these parts.”
“Great, there’s nothin’ like a spot of slaying to break up the monotony of a whole night off.”
“I wonder why we haven’t come across him before now? Perhaps he doesn‘t want to risk the wrath of the Slayer, happy being a big fish in a little pond and all that.”
“He’s obviously kept well away from the Hellmouth. Is it me or did he look a little too tanned to be a vampire? Perhaps he’s wearing that fake stuff to fool the locals.”
“I don’t know, we should check him out after the show.” Spike narrowed his eyes at the vampire’s retreating back. “Not much in point trying to do anything before, he obviously isn’t going anywhere yet.” He grimaced at his drink.
“The beer in this place leaves a lot to be desired. Still at least the acting’s first rate.”
“So you are enjoying it then?”
“I am. But I’d really like to kiss you. Can I kiss you?” Xander was halfway to Spike’s lips before he realised and pulled back.
“Perhaps we should wait, you’ll thank me later.”
“We can forget the second half of the show and I’ll take you away and thank you right now.”
“Think of the happy, you have it to look forward to. We can slay the vampire and then you can kiss me like it’s millennium’s eve.”
“I thought I always kissed you that way.”
“You do, it’s just that this time you have to wait, savour the thought, it will be worth it.”
The bell signalled the start of the second half of the play so they put their drinks down and returned to their seats.
“You know Pet, you could a least of got us back row seats.”
“Why so you could grope me when you’re supposed to be watching the show?”
“I’m a multitasker, I could manage both.” Xander sat with his hips pushed slightly forward and held his programme aloft. Spike’s mouth fell open into a surprised pout when Xander leaned over to whisper in his ear,
“You can manage this for me when we leave, if you’re really good I won’t even make you wait until we get home.”
~*~
Spike and Xander spent the rest of the show in a state of near hypnotic bliss. Xander knew they could leave any time they liked and the fact that Spike was prepared to stay because Xander wanted them to wait just made his cock even harder. Spike listened to the familiar dialogue from the stage and as each sentenced passed the actors lips he knew he was that much closer to getting what he wanted, needed.
Xander was way passed caring whether or not Lord Goring helped to stop Mrs Chevely’s blackmail attempts and so over the idea of following only human rules when it came to romance. He was about to suggest to Spike that they leave and make a few new rules of their own, when he noticed the vampire from earlier watching them both intently from a box above them.
He touched Spike’s leg softly making him flinch at the unexpected contact and noted with some satisfaction the yellow flash in his eyes before he realised that Xander was pointing discreetly to the box on the right above them.
“Steady on Hoss, I just thought you should check it out. He seems pretty interested in the two of us, don’t you think?” Xander whispered.
“I think I like Gorgeous better, if you don’t mind.” Spike whispered back.
He nodded again at the vampire’s scrutiny and wondered if the interest was related to him being in the company of a human. Either that or he sensed they were Bonded. The vampire smiled at him and for a moment Spike thought he looked familiar. Where had he met him before? After a few minutes it came to him; he didn’t know him at all but he held the same poncy, arrogant bearing as Dracula.
Maybe he was one of the Ancient’s? He knew there were a few still in existence, but why the hell would one want to come to Carlton? Sunnydale maybe, but there was very little chance he’d been in the berg and Buffy not know about it. There were three other’s sitting in the box with him, two young women and what he was sure was a Schliklar demon. They could pass as human but it involved the use of a glamour and a lot of concentrated effort. Demon’s and witches were the only types likely to see through their façade. Luckily they were normally peaceable creatures and Spike was stumped as to why one would be associated with a vampire.
He was fairly certain that at least one of the women was human, but the other was definitely a vampire. Disturbingly they were all looking in his and Xander’s direction though oddly they didn’t appear hostile at all. Could be trouble but then they could both handle themselves if necessary. Dammit, slaying before shagging yet again. He leaned over to Xander.
“I think we should leave now Pet and wait outside for them. I’m not happy that we appear to bring out all the crazies as soon as we step outside Sunnydale. He may be a collector of some kind and let’s face it vampires and their Bonded are fairly rare specimens. We can’t risk another kidnap attempt and we don’t know how many lackeys he’s got waiting outside ready for when he leaves.”
“Won’t they just follow us out anyway?”
“Maybe, but if we leave first we’ll have the advantage. We can be the ambush instead of the other way round. Come on.” Xander nodded but wondered how the hell the two of them were going to ambush at least four of them.
They both stood up and all eyes turned to them to see what the distraction was. They ignored peoples stares and simply walked out of the auditorium into the lobby. It was disserted apart from a single doorman who merely nodded and bid them a good night as they went out the door. Light rain had started to fall recently, the sidewalk still had penny shaped marks speckled over it, but they rapidly disappeared as the downpour increased.
They crossed the road and stood in a shop doorway to shelter from the rain. A few doors down a tramp sat with a sleeping bag wrapped around him and an umbrella shielding him and the dog curled up at his feet. He had a couple of articles beside him and he picked them up one at a time and put them reverently in a battered knapsack. Spike knew this was his home which might mean he had seen possible lurkers.
“Spike where are we going?”
“To see what that guy knows. I’ll give him a couple of quid and he might remember everyone he’s seen hangin’ about.”
“You mean give him a couple of ‘quid’ and he’ll be so happy that he can buy beer and drugs that he’ll invent a list of characters supposedly lurking and you can just bet they’ll all be wearing clown noses!”
“Bleedin‘ hell, when did you get so cynical about people? Isn’t that my line? We’ll just have to take that chance, we can always put the scare on him if we have to.”
He started to saunter in the direction of the tramp’s doorway and Xander reluctantly followed. A car passed by and the startled stare of the tramp was pinned by the glare of the headlights; Xander wasn’t surprised to see he was so young, about 25 or so, but it saddened him anyway. The guy looked worried when he saw the two of them approaching and very quickly shot to his feet, dropping his umbrella. The dog gave off a low growl.
“It’s ok mate, we don’t mean yer no harm. Just want to ask you somethin’ is all.”
“I haven’t done anything, go away.”
“Ah don’t really care if you have. I’m more interested in what you may have seen out here tonight, any dodgy looking types for instance in the area of the Town Hall?”
“That’s where you two just came from.” He patted the dog’s head and it appeared satisfied that it’s master was in no danger so it sat back down and curled up.
“See I knew you looked the observant type. So, can you help us mate? There’s a meal in it for you and yer mutt.” The young man looked at Xander.
“Don’t I know you? Didn’t you go to Sunnydale High? I’m pretty sure my sister was in your class, you’re Harris aren’t you, used to hang out with that really strong blond girl, Buffy Summers? Didn’t you date Cordelia Chase?” Xander’s eyes widened.
“Who are you, my personal assistant? Ok I’m sorry, who’s your sister?” The guy looked downcast and his bottom lip trembled a bit.
“Melissa Bateman.”
“I’m sorry man!”
He didn’t really know what else to say, Melissa hadn’t survived Graduation Day. He wanted to ask him (he thought his name was Tayler) if that was the reason he was huddled in a doorway instead of sitting at home watching Sunday night TV or if it was something else, but he figured it was too personal. He bit his lip, he could at least ask him his name.
“It’s Tayler isn’t it?”
“Yeah man, I’ve been back here for a couple of hours or so and I have seen one or two people. Don’t know if you would call them dodgy or not. Except for maybe this one guy who dragged a girl down the side street over there. It looked like she knew him so I just figured it was a lovers spat, I didn’t want to get involved; not that people ever want me too anyway. Neither of them have come back out, but then it’s not a dead end, they could have just gone the other way.”
“Thank you.” Xander told him
“Sorry I couldn’t tell you more, you looking for vampires?” Spike looked at him with some surprise.
“Know about vampires do you?”
“Jesus, I lived in Sunnydale my whole life, until Melissa….” Xander didn’t know what prompted him to do it but before his brain had totally engaged, his mouth started to work.
“If you know, ever want any help or anything, just look us up. You can usually find us in the Magic Box.”
“I won’t, but thanks.”
Tayler retrieved his umbrella and pushed the edge of his sleeping bag further in the doorway away from the rain. The dog stretched it’s head across the top of it and closed it’s eyes in contentment. Xander felt a big lump try to form in his throat, if this was the result of humanity maybe he shouldn’t be so hung up on it. Did the guy have no one to care where he was or the state he was in? He very discreetly slipped $20 dollars in his hand as he shook it and thanked him. Tayler looked miserable at the gesture but he didn’t turn it down.
They both said goodbye and started to make their way over to the side street to check out the possibilities of foul play. The rain was getting more persistent and plastering their hair to their heads. Xander was starting to feel the cold and he wished he’d brought a jacket.
“I’ll go down here Love, I want you to keep an eye out, make sure that our bigwig vampire friend doesn’t leave without us seeing him.”
“Good idea, I can take four on my own, no problem.”
“I won’t be long.”
“Just kidding.”
Spike looked at Xander’s mouth hard and Xander caught his breath at the look in his eyes. Spike thought better of it and turned on his heel into the darkened street. Xander turned away and looked over to where Tayler had been sitting with his dog. They had both gone, there were no signs to indicate they had ever been there. The patrons had started to come out of the Town Hall now, in a slow trickle. He kept his eyes peeled for the vampire or any of his companions but he couldn’t see any sign of any of them.
Spike morphed into game face as a warning and for the advantage of vampire vision in such a darkened area. There was only one street lamp to light the way, but then he could only think of a couple of reasons why pedestrians would access it anyway, there were no shops or houses and Main Street could be accessed by safer routes. Yet humans were often tempted by short cuts and Spike had a good idea why.
He’d used vampire pheromones before to lure victims to him and it wasn’t always that successful because they didn’t always get picked up on the human olfactory register, but it would certainly account for a lot of stupid behaviour, like walking down darkened alleyways alone.
This street wasn‘t especially long and the top of it opened on to a much busier road. Spike reached the top without incident and stood watching the odd passer by. His features softened at the approach of a middle aged woman and a teenage girl. Arms linked, they were walking towards him and he felt something indecipherable as the woman speeded up and walked quickly by him as though she feared being mugged. The teenager stared back at him over her shoulder open-mouthed. She must of caught a glimpse of fang but she didn’t appear afraid as she ogled. There was nothing doing here, time to get back to his Boy.
Xander searched the area with his eyes, but there was no sign of Tayler or his trusty mongrel. Jeez, he might carry his house on his back but for a snail, that guy could sure motor. He looked down the street for Spike and he could easily make out his familiar form as he reached Main Street. People were coming out of the Town Hall at a faster rate now, some moving off quickly to avoid the rain, but there was still lingerers in the lobby. There was no sign of Big Daddy or his minions.
He felt Spike’s cool hand at the back of his neck seconds after the tingle of his presence had crept up his spine. He leaned back into it briefly before turning to face him. He was tired of waiting now and decided right there and then that going without sex sucked; he would much rather be doing it than thinking about it.
“What kept you?”
Spike smiled at the familiar question and moved closer to stand in between Xander’s feet. He kissed him softly and made sure he could feel his erection straining to break free from his pants.
“There’s nobody down there, must have just been a tiff like ‘e said. They’re probably in some pub as we speak, making eyes at each other. Any sign of our fan club?”
“They haven’t come out yet, at least not the front way. Maybe we’re wigging for nothing, they could still be inside having post-show drinks, there are other people still in there.”
Spike slid his hand briefly down Xander’s wet back but resisted the almost overwhelming urge to drag him back into the darkened street and tear his shirt off. He wanted to collect raindrops of his chest with his tongue and plunder every orifice with some part of his anatomy.
“There they are!”
The vampire and his three companions came down the Town Hall steps and without pausing to look either way, turned right, away from the building and effectively from Spike and Xander.
“Well that was a bloody anti-climax if ever there was one. We should probably follow them though, they might be planning on a midnight feast.” Spike wiped rain from his eyes and tried to ignore the ache in his balls. Xander threw his hands up in the air.
“Here I was thinking I’d finally achieved everlasting fame and stardom, but no, it turns out I just get my measly 15 minutes! I’m so disappointed.”
Xander turned to face Spike and the sight before his eyes was almost his undoing. Water dripped down the side of his face and his hair was already twisting into spirals. He blinked midnight eyes at the intensity of Xander’s unexpected scrutiny and his lips looked plump and rosy, as though he had been worrying at them with his teeth.
“Er, Love? They’re getting away.”
“What? I know, we should follow them. On it already.”
The entourage were walking in the direction of the parking lot where Xander had parked, a block away . It occurred to him they may have parked there too, Big Daddy didn’t strike him as the kind of vampire that walked if he could help it. They turned onto the parking lot and Spike and Xander lost sight of them for a minute. They both started to run but when they reached it they were gone.
“Oh this is ridiculous, let’s go home. We’ll fill Buffy in tomorrow and she can come and slay them, it is her job when all’s said and done.”
They started to make their way over to Xander’s car and about a dozen men stepped out and surrounded them. They were carrying an assortment of weapons, knives, chains, and clubs and they were all packing muscle. It was eerie, as though they had materialised from thin air and one of them had the audacity to laugh as Spike and Xander went into battle stance.
“Oh fuck, off! I’m never gonna get laid at this rate.”
Neither of them wasted any time, they shifted into game face and started pummelling the nearest person to them. Xander realised that even with his newly acquired super powers and Spike’s disabled chip, there was a good chance they were outnumbered. That was until Big Daddy and his pals jumped into the fray and started fighting alongside them.
There was no way either of them were going to question the unexpected source of help, but they were both surprised that their allies were going for the hurt rather than the kill. Spike and Xander fell into synchronicity, their fighting styles aligned in a similar way to that of Angel’s to Buffy’s. Xander kicked a knife from one man’s hand and Spike punched him in the face, knocking him down.
They carried on setting them up and knocking them down, aware of the help they had beside them, but scarcely noticing the growing pile of slumped human beings at their feet. Xander felt exhilarated, his eyesight was sharp and he saw the tiniest movement, his ears picked up sound that saved him from unnecessary pain and his reflexes seemed to work independently of him. More importantly, Spike was by his side.
Spike felt the pain and humiliation of the last two years fall away from him. Humans might not actually be food to him any more , but this kind, with tainted souls, well they were back where they belonged in the pecking order. Beneath him. Fighting at the side of his Mate filled him with pride and the erection that had yoyo’d between semi-hard and painfully hard for the best part of the evening sprang to new life.
Spike felt his face burn as a ring-clad fist smashed into his cheekbone and drew blood. Before he could retaliate Xander pulled the offender towards him and head butted him. The guy slumped forward and slid down Xander’s body, streaking him with dirt and blood before lying in a crumpled heap on the floor.
Xander looked up in time to see the boot aimed at his face, but before it could connect Spike grabbed the ankle and twisted the leg until there was an audible crack. The guy screamed out, achieving an octave he didn’t believe possible from a male voice box. The sound was cut off abruptly as he regurgitated the contents of his stomach.
Spike caught and stopped a fist that was aimed for his solar plexus and returned with a swift uppercut to the chin. He spun into a roundhouse kick and nearly lost his boot as it connected with the side of the guy’s head. The guy went down without bending his knees.
The night air was filled with grunts and groans of exertion and pain, and on more than one occasion a bloodcurdling scream, but the most thrilling thing for Xander was his lover’s ability to join in as he kicked and pummelled without head splitting pain. If this had happened a week ago, they would have been in serious trouble,
Xander heard his shirt rip and wondered seriously about the merits of dressing up at all when you had this life. His trousers were ruined, suede soaked in the rain and he could see that Spike’s attire wasn’t in much better shape. His shirt was in tatters and his trousers were covered in dirt and blood, most of it thankfully not his own.
They turned to look for another conquest only to find that none of them remained standing. They were left once more with the retreating backs of Big Daddy and his strange sidekicks, unconscious or incapacitated humans at their feet and … each other. Xander pulled Spike to him and licked at the blood trickling down the side of his face and then plunged his tongue between his lips so they could share the taste.
Fangs retracted and eyes lost their lantern yellow, the kiss was sweet but brief because the urgency was to leave there and find someplace where they could put each other out of the misery of being separate entities. Xander fumbled for car keys and tried to do so without letting go of Spike. They practically dragged each other to the car and got in the same side.
Spike scrambled over to the passenger side and leaned over to kiss him again as Xander tried to get the car started. The journey home was a blur and Xander didn’t know how many lights he ran that may have been red, but they made it back to the garage under the apartment in record time. Neither had uttered a word the whole way, but some part of them was touching each other the whole time. Xander opened his door and fell out and Spike simply crawled across the seats, followed him down and climbed on top of him.
Xander grabbed Spike’s biceps and held him still while he searched his face. Why did he always feel like he was homeward bound with this man? Either that or already there. He crushed Spike’s lips with his own and then pushed him up so he could stand. Linking hands with him he pulled him towards the stairs into their building. Spike whimpered at the continued interruption and Xander could go no further. He clasped both of Spike’s hands tighter and pulled him towards him as he leant against the wall.
Spike held Xander’s face close to his. He was slumped slightly back against the wall so it was easy for Spike to look directly into his eyes without raising his chin. Despite the fact it was Xander against the wall, Spike felt pinned down by the look in his eyes. Angelus in his most demanding moments hadn’t managed to look this hungry and for a second he couldn’t move.
The need passed as Xander bent forward and covered Spike’s lips with spicy, wet warmth; the taste of him buckled Spike’s knees. Xander’s hands crept under his ruined shirt to span his chest, kneading and warming muscle covered in gooseflesh, before sliding down into the hollows under his pectorals and the end of his sternum. He moved to caress the soft part of his belly below his navel and then lightly skimmed the top of his hips.
Spike’s cock was so hard it hurt. It throbbed, rigid against his belly and he could feel the precum soaking into his trousers. Xander’s hands followed the curve of his hipbones around to the back and pushed up either side of his spine, bringing him closer to him. He forsook his lips so he could taste the hollow of his throat and he wished fervently for more than one mouth. The smell of blood so maddeningly close to the surface of Spike’s skin brought his fangs down swiftly and turned his eyes to gold. He pushed him back slightly because he wanted him to see him.
Spike had barely moved under Xander’s ministrations, merely exchanging the position of his hands from the sides of his face to the tops of his shoulders so he wouldn’t slide to the floor. Xander pushed him back a little and golden eyes glowed at him in the diminished light. The total acceptance in them called to his demon and he felt the ripple as ridges crossed his own features. The snarl was mutual as they lunged for each other’s throats, reaffirming their claim.
Spike felt the release of his zipper only moments before Xander clasped his weeping member and started to slide the foreskin up over the crown. If his fangs hadn’t been buried in his lover’s neck he would have hissed his pleasure. Rapture filled his head as blood filled his throat and he thrust into Xander’s loose fist as though to stop would cause him pain.
He tried to touch him but his hands were superfluous; this was Xander’s moment. Soon, nothing mattered except the fact he could feel his balls tighten and he knew it was only moments before his mind disintegrated along with his body. He felt something try to leave him and wondered again if this was the way Angel had felt when he lost his soul. He didn’t care; if he’d had a soul to lose in that moment he would have packed it‘s cases and brought it’s bus ticket.
Xander felt everything slide into place the moment he hit the wall. This was his purpose, his future, his rhyme, and his reason. Without Spike there was nothing. Who said that being human meant you were the best, and could he please kill them? He now knew that keeping his humanity didn’t matter because he could be so much more with Spike along for the ride.
He explored the expanse of Spike’s torso as though he was Columbus discovering America. Everything felt so familiar and yet new and despite the paradox he felt reconciled. Where else could he be now? Spike was his landscape, his horizon, his everything. He had to stop thinking in purely human terms and accept his hybrid.
Spike bit down hard as he spurted cool seed over Xander’s hand and his teeth almost met in the middle. The wound started to heal as soon as he retracted them and he tugged his trousers down while licking it closed. He dropped to his knees taking Xander down with him, kissing him from his wound to his lips.
Xander turned him around and pushed into him with ease. Pleasure was immediate and so intense that for a minute he stilled, waiting for his fast beating heart to slow down a little and his ragged breathing to find a pattern. It was only hours since the last time he was surrounded by this velvety coolness but it felt like he’d waited a week.
He began to thrust, slow, shallow thrusts that teased him with promise and dared him to go faster, deeper, until he was plunging into his lover, unsure where the rhythm came from but following it without missing a stroke. He reached for Spike’s cock and pumped him without mercy, milking him and filling him like he was trying to reach across and close a great divide.
He came silently, no oxygen in his lungs to make sound, and Spike followed him with a shiver and deep throated moan. They managed to get to their feet after minutes of kissing and pulled their clothes together to get up the stairs. A neighbour stared open mouthed as they burst through the stairwell doorway, taking in their dishevelled appearance and the blood on the faces and necks.
“Oh god Mr Harris should I call the police?” She put a put a hand to her horrified lips.
“No, it’s alright Mrs Bannister, we’ve already dealt with the police. Car accident, but we’re ok.” He nodded to her and smiled to emphasise that everything really was alright.
“Well if you‘re sure, can I get you anything? A brandy maybe, a Band-Aid?”
“No thank you, we’re good, really. Nothing a hot soak and bed won’t cure. Goodnight Mrs Bannister.”
“Goodnight, call me if you change your mind.” She put her key in the lock and disappeared inside with a worried backward glance.
~*~
Inside their own apartment, Spike and Xander simply stood and stared at each other for a few seconds, a measured look. Then they wordlessly peeled off each others clothes and left them on the floor. Within minutes they were under the hot spray of the shower and kissing again like there would be no tomorrow. When Xander finally came up for air their skin had warmed considerably and their injuries were already fading.
“That was incredible Love.” Piercing blue eyes made Xander’s muddy with lust.
“Worth the wait?” Spike grimaced and wrapped his arms around him tighter.
“It was, but I think we took it to the max, I’m not in a hurry to wait for you again.”
“You won’t have to. I get it now, romance is a personal thing. Who says you have to have candy and flowers? I’d much sooner have a parking lot brawl and wild animal sex on the garage floor.”
“And you didn’t kill anybody, I think your humanity’s safe for another day.”
“Actually I’m beginning to understand how Buffy must feel. Having all this power, learning how to use it responsibly; and that it’s ok to enjoy it. To enjoy you, us. Except that last part, that has absolutely nothing to do with Buffy.”
“Are you sure you’re ok now? You were amazing out there again tonight, you fight like a Slayer.”
“And we know how you feel about Slayer’s don’t we? So, are you gonna kill me or screw me?”
“What do you think Love?”
“I think I’m ready to get out off the shower and take my vampire back to bed.” Spike turned the shower off and they both grabbed towels on the way out the bathroom and dried off on the way into the bedroom.
“I’m not.”
“What? You’re not my vampire?”
“I’m not a vampire. Not any more, I don’t know what I am, but it doesn’t really matter as long as I’m with you.”
“Are you sure it’s that simple?”
Xander pulled him into his arms on the bed and Spike settled his head on his chest, which meant Xander could play with his hair. Spike stroked lazy patterns across his belly, figures of eight, circles, snakes, each time getting closer to his already hardening cock.
“Yeah I am. I told you all I ever really wanted to do was fight, feed and shag, so my unlife has worked out nicely then.”
“Have you thought about the things we’ll be able to do once this prophecy thing is over? And of course I‘m optimistic, I assume we‘ll survive it”
“We don’t know when that is yet, and no, I don’t think that far ahead, I don’t need to. Everything I want is right here.” Spike leaned his head back so he could see Xander’s face.
“Have we done being philosophical now because we’ve wasted quite enough shagging time for one day.”
Xander nodded, unable to speak because Spike was teasing the head of his cock with his thumb, circling the ridge and spreading precum. He shifted so he could follow the line of hair from his navel to his balls with his tongue and gently took them into his mouth. He rolled them slowly with his tongue and lightly pumped him.
A short time later he entered him, one of his legs draped over his shoulder and the other around his waist. He looked beautiful his Boy. Chestnut hair spilled across the pillow, eyes filled with love and lust. He still had his summer tan, golden and even next to Spike’s own pale complexion; they looked like coffee and cream.
His eyes kaleidoscoped from brown to hazel to yellow to gold and Spike was barely aware of his reflection in them. Surrounded by the heat and the scent and the breath of his lover, Spike rode him unhurriedly; deep, slow thrusts, not taking his eyes from him unless he reached down for a kiss. Xander’s arms held him tight as he came, and it was the strength in the embrace that tipped Spike over the edge.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
“I need you.”
“Never stop.”
“I never can, I’m yours. Are you mine?”
“Always.”
The Hybrids fell asleep wrapped around one another, and slept without dreams.