New BeginningsBy PSUBrat
Summers Blues
Buffy looked up at the stars as she sat by her mother's headstone. She often visited her mother's grave whenever she was feeling down. Tonight was one of those nights. Xander had left her place after dinner and she had wandered around the big, empty house by herself. She felt so alone. Dawn was out on a date with a boy Buffy wasn't sure she approved of yet and Tara and Willow were in England, half a world away. She had done a half-hearted patrol of the cemeteries in the area and then found herself at her mom's grave. She watched as a shooting star crossed the sky in front of her. Too bad that the wish she just made wouldn't come true. They never did.
Patrolling had been boring this evening. Totally uneventful. She had taken notice that for that last month or so, the vampiric activity in the area had been way down. She wasn't sure if that meant anything significant since it did happen from time to time. Laughing to herself, she said to the air around her, "Instead of just enjoying the quiet, I'm sitting here worrying about it." She moved to the front of the headstone and looked at it. Slowly she traced the lettering on the smooth marble. She couldn't believe that it was over a year since her mother had died. So much had happened in that time that she felt like it had been two lifetimes. Oh. Yeah. It had been for her.
"Mom so much has happened since I came back here. I had a hard time dealing with being alive again. I pushed Dawn away. I slept with Spike. And most of our house was destroyed when Warren decided to go big bad on us." She sighed and leaned her head against the marble stone. Why was she sitting here doing this? It wasn't like her mom could hear her.
"I miss you so much mom," she whispered. "You always knew what to do."
Suddenly there was a hand on her shoulder. She spun around to face whatever it was that was disturbing her time with her mother. "Dawn, what are you doing here?" She demanded.
"Buffy chill. I just wanted to stop by to talk to mom about my date with Steven."
She had turned around to wipe the tears from her eyes before Dawn could see them. "Oh. Sorry. It's just I wasn't expecting anyone and I didn't hear you come up behind me."
"It's okay. I should have cleared my throat or something first. Come on," Dawn said extending her hand to her sister, "let's go home and have some ice cream."
"Good idea," Buffy said still trying to compose herself.
Neither of them noticed the boy watching them from shadows.
***
Back at home; the two girls shared the carton of ice cream. They didn't even bother with bowls; each had just grabbed a spoon.
"So how come you were out at mom's grave?" Dawn asked her sister.
"I dunno," Buffy lied, "I guess I just needed to stop by to let her know the house was done."
"Wanna hear about my date?"
"Sure," Buffy said trying to force a smile and sound like she was interested. She really wasn't interested in anything at the moment, not even the ice cream.
Dawn began to giggle and Buffy eyed her suspiciously. "Don't worry Buffy," Dawn assured her, "he was a perfect gentleman. I'm just giddy cause I had such a good time." The smile on her face proved her point.
"How perfect was perfect?" Buffy inquired with her spoon in mid dip.
"Absolutely perfect," Dawn said grinning. "First we went for pizza and we talked the whole time. He's really smart but kinda sad too. Apparently his father was killed not too long ago and he's been having a hard time with it."
"So him and his mom just moved to Sunnydale then?"
"Yeah. He said his mom just wanted to get away from Los Angeles. Too many bad memories."
"That's understandable. So what else did you two do tonight?" Buffy asked with a stern look.
"After pizza we went to the movies. He didn't even try to put his arm around me or anything," she said with a smile, then added with a frown, "Is that good or bad?"
"Very good. Otherwise I'd have to hurt him."
"Yeah. Yeah. I think Xander scared him enough at the door tonight."
"Exactly. And Steven behaved. I call that a good thing."
"Whatever," Dawn said rolling her eyes at her sister. "He wants to go out again. I do too. I really like him a lot Buffy."
"Just be careful," Buffy warned as she started to clean up their ice cream mess. "And no parking!"
"Buffy! He doesn't even have a car!"
Buffy looked at her sister and gave her a smile that said, "Good."
"Whatever. I'm gonna go to bed. Are you gonna sleep on the couch tonight since your bed's not here yet?"
"Nah. Xander brought over his air mattress. I'm gonna sleep on that in my room."
"Okay. Try to get some sleep tonight. I'll see you in the morning. More of the same," she asked referring to painting and wallpapering.
"Yep. Lots to do so you better go get your beauty rest."
She skipped over to her sister and gave her a peck on the cheek, "'night!"
"Goodnight date girl."
***
The sun was shining in Devon as Willow and Tara got ready to start another day with the coven. In just the short time that they had been there, they had learned so much about their magic, and where it came from...The leader of the coven had decided that it was best to start with the basics even though both girls already had a firm grasp on them. The thought was, that in order to understand where Willow had gone wrong, she had to understand where she came from. That kinda made sense to Willow. However, she was really bored with everything right now but didn't want to show it. Tara didn't seem to mind going back to basics at all. Then again, Tara was a pretty much a go-with-the-flow kinda gal. Willow sighed. She wished she had as much confidence as Tara did.
"Willow," Tara asked tilting her head to the side to study her lover, "are you okay? You look tired and a little upset."
Willow looked up from putting on her shoes. How did Tara always seem to know when something bothered her? Was it always that obvious? "I've been thinking," she started hesitantly, "I feel really horrible about keeping this huge secret from Buffy. I mean, she's gonna be really mad at us when she finds out we knew."
Tara walked over to Willow and sat down next to her. "I know sweetie, but Giles and Spike made us both promise that we wouldn't say anything. It's for the best. It took a lot for Spike to tell us everything so we need to respect his privacy."
"Not when it involves Buffy like this," Willow said almost shouting. "What he did…he can't ever take it back! And now this," she said gesturing with her hands not being able to finish her thought.
"I know. Giles has his reasons too. We're just going to have to trust them on this, Will."
Willow sighed. She knew Tara was right. But it still felt wrong. She hadn't called Buffy in weeks because she was afraid that she would accidentally slip up and let her know about Spike. She hadn't even returned Dawn's phone calls. They would soon have to phone them though, otherwise Buffy would worry that something had happened to them.
"Come on," Tara said with a smile as she lightly tugged on Willow's sleeve, "Time to head to Hogwarts..."
Willow laughed and smiled back at her blonde beauty. She stood up next to Tara and took her hand. As they closed the door and walked away, the phone started ringing.
***
Buffy hung up the phone after a few rings. Apparently, no one was home. She looked at her watch and figured that the witches had gotten an early start to their day. She was sure they were busy with potion mixing classes and wand instruction. The thought made her laugh. She should have never watched Harry Potter with Dawn because now she had all kinds of images floating around in her head about what Willow and Tara were learning over there.
Slowly she made her way up the stairs and to her room. She flipped on the overhead light to reveal a somewhat bare room. No posters. No curtains. No nothing. It didn't feel like this space belonged to her anymore. She knew it would take time to make it feel homey again, but she missed having her bed and she missed having her safe haven to come back to. It was a good thing that Xander had brought over his air mattress. She really didn't relish the idea of sleeping on the new pullout sofa downstairs. That was for guests. Besides, she wanted to sleep in her own room on their first night back.
She slipped into her pajamas and went to turn off the light but the box that Dawn had brought up earlier caught her eye. Her feet betrayed what she was thinking as they slowly took her across the room to where she had set it down. Hesitantly she opened the box. There was the slightest odor of leather and smoke. Without thinking, she took a deep breath and savored the smell. She pulled the duster out of the box and clutched it tightly to her chest as she dropped down to the floor. Quietly, she rocked back and forth while she hugged the jacket. He had left her. She had made him leave. She regretted beating him up. She regretted what had happened in the bathroom. She regretted everything bad that had happened between them.
The only thing she didn't regret was letting him become her confidant. She had needed someone who would understand her and he had, more than anyone else. More than Angel ever had. At first, she had used him to feel alive again. Then, something had happened. Something inside of her wanted to be with him, every waking moment. And when Riley had come back with his new wife, she had felt betrayed because she didn't have the same happiness. Didn't she deserve that? Instead, she had a very warped relationship with the scourge of Europe. She had broken up with Spike the night Riley left. Why? Because she didn't love him and it was killing her. That's what she had told him. She had even used his given name, William, to make a point. She had seen the tears form in his eyes. She was always trying to hurt him. Why?
Deep down she knew the answer to that.
***
The boy stood outside of the house in the shadows. He could smell the scent of the beast on the tree he was leaning against. Something used to stand here and watch, just like he was doing right now. Anger enveloped him. Had that monster watched her? Had he stood in this same spot? He watched the window as Buffy crossed the room and turned off the light. Angry thoughts swirled through his mind. How could she have loved that thing so freely especially being who she is?
It had been almost a month since he had been following her around daily and then nightly. During the day, she would hang out at the Magic Shop or shop at the mall. He often wondered if she had a job. Most other people her age worked or attended school. Even her sister appeared to be employed. It had taken him several weeks to figure out what was different about Buffy. At first glance, she appeared to be small and weak, a typical blonde California girl. Then one night he had followed her into the cemetery, always careful to keep just out of hearing distance. He didn't understand what someone like her would be doing in a place filled with beasts, certainly she would get herself killed. She didn't seem to be afraid and then he found out why. From out of the shadows, a beast flew at her. He had smelled the thing right before it had attacked her. At first, he thought he was going to have to give himself away to help her but she quickly got up on her feet and with a few punches and kicks she had the creature pinned to the ground. That was when she took a stake out of her pocket and rammed it into the demon's heart.
He had been amazed at how easily she had killed the vampire. He could tell by the way she handled herself that it hadn't been the first time she had done it either. Incredible. She was a warrior like himself. Realizing that made him even angrier with her. Every night she did the same thing and every night he followed her. He studied her every move looking for a flaw. When the time came, he would take advantage of her flaws.
He looked up at the window one last time before he left. The anger on his face was replaced by a smile as he walked down the sidewalk. He would make her pay for loving the beast.