New Beginnings

By PSUBrat

Unforgiven

"Spike?" Buffy asked again squinting as if her eyes were deceiving her.

William blinked back and then looked at Giles who sighed heavily. "Why don't we all sit down?" Giles suggested gesturing towards the table.

"Uh. How about we don't and you just explain to me who this person is?" Buffy said harshly.

Giles took a deep breath. "Buffy, this is William Giles…"

"Cut the crap Giles. I want an explanation. Now."

"Buffy," William said taking a step towards her. He bristled when she took a step back, fury lighting her eyes.

"Buffy, please do sit down," Giles said softly, "Dawn, you as well."

Dawn moved towards the table in a daze. She sat down in the nearest chair and waited for the explanation.

"Giles if you don't spell out to me what is going on right now, I'm throwing you both out."

Giles' face changed from fatherly understanding to anger. "Buffy I'm not here to negotiate with you. Now take a seat immediately so we can discuss this." His tone had been firm and demanding. He had taken her by surprise. She softened a little and pulled out a chair, sitting next to her sister.

***

Gavin sat at his desk making out his daily report to the Los Angeles office. He checked his watch to take note of the time. He was sure the senior partners would be interested in knowing that Mr. Giles was back in town and that he had brought a guest. Gavin had immediately recognized Rupert Giles from the photographs they had sent him. But the second man, the man in the suit, they didn't have any pictures for on file, at least not at this office. Very curious. He also noted in the report that the man had stopped in mid stride, as if he had known he was being watched. At that point, Gavin had stepped back away from the window. He knew that the man couldn't see into the building since they had tinted the windows but still, there was something about the way the man had scanned the area. It had made Gavin think of an animal listening for it's prey.

He finished typing up the report and sent the e-mail off to the senior partners. Perhaps with the digital picture of the man attached, the researchers in the main office would be able to track him down. Gavin was confident that this matter would be resolved and that the man wouldn't be any trouble for them. Afterall, he looked like another harmless watcher and those Gavin could take care of without breaking a sweat. After powering down his computer and turning off his light, he made his way out of the building and back to his apartment. Tonight was "Get acquainted with Sunnydale" night and he didn't want to miss the happy hour specials at the Bronze.

***

Buffy sat in her chair with her arms crossed over her chest. This man had to be Spike. Had to be. But the prickling sensation at the back of her neck that told her when a vampire was around wasn't going off. Plus, it was still daylight out and there was no sign of a smoking blanket anywhere. She looked angrily from one watcher to the other. Waiting. Waiting for the reason that this Spike look alike was sitting in front of her, about to become her new watcher.

"So, uhm, Giles," Dawn asked hesitantly, "is William Spike or what?"

Giles smiled at the girl and then looked over at Buffy, taking on a serious tone. "Buffy, prior to William arriving on my doorstep, I had decided to put in for a transfer back to England. The only thing that held me back was the thought of the Council replacing me with someone that would try to control you. You deserved better than that."

Buffy glared at Giles. "Oh so you went out and recruited Spike? Nice move Giles. And why do you keep calling him William?" She demanded.

"Because that's my name," William sighed looking over at her.

Buffy slowly shook her head and started to laugh. "This is some kind of joke, right?"

"I assure you this is no joke," Giles replied. "For all intents and purposes, William is my nephew and is going to be your new watcher."

"I can't listen to this anymore," Buffy said suddenly standing up, knocking her chair over in the process. "I trusted you Giles. I trusted you to tell me the truth and to be there for me when I needed you. This," she yelled gesturing wildly towards William, "is unforgivable."

"Buffy. Listen to me," Giles demanded as he stood up to block her from leaving. "Yes. You're correct. William is Spike. Or was…"

"What do you mean was?" She seethed, "Just because he changed his name doesn't mean he isn't what he's always been."

"A monster?" William asked standing up and walking towards her.

***

Dawn had heard enough. She stood up and walked over to William. She wasn't sure why she hadn't noticed it before, but the telltale sign that this man was Spike was evident. There on his left eyebrow was the scar. "Oh my god. You are Spike," she gasped.

William looked down into her eyes. "Hello Niblet," he said with a smile, rumpling her hair. He reached into his pocket. "Hold out your hand," he requested. Dawn did as she was asked. Reaching out, he placed one hand under her's and the other hand on top.

"I believe this belongs to you," he said as he dropped something into her palm.

Dawn stared down at her hand in shock after William retracted his top hand. "Where did you get this? I lost it the other day after I …"

"Went through the portal," he finished the sentence for her.

She nodded slowly as everything began to fall into place. "That was your room that I was in, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. It was. Not sure how you did it though. We'll have to work on that one."

"You're human now, aren't you?" She asked suddenly with a grin.

"What makes you think that?"

"Because," she stated, "your hands are warm. Plus, it's still daylight and you didn't burst into flames."

William grinned at her. She was quick this one was. "I guess you could say that."

Dawn squealed and threw her arms around him. It was so good to have him back home.

***

Buffy stared incredulously at the scene before her. This man was Spike. But he was human? How was that possible? At least she knew one thing; that he had been in England the last few months with Giles, and Giles had never told her. How could he have withheld this information from her? Didn't Giles know that she had been concerned about Spike? Wait. No. She didn't care. That's right. For all she cared, Spike could have been dead. That would have been just fine with her. Instead, he was standing here now, in Sunnydale, as her new watcher and a human to boot.

She continued to stare at Spike, William, whatever, hugging her sister. Now that Dawn knew this, thing, was Spike, there was no way Dawn would let Buffy throw him out of their lives again. Damn. Buffy looked over at Giles who was watching the interaction with great interest. When Giles's gaze returned to her, she glared at him. "So," she growled, "wanna tell us how this all happened?"

Giles nodded at her and motioned for them to all sit down once again. Reluctantly Dawn let go of William long enough to get a seat and move it next to him. Buffy started to feel like she was being ganged up on. Three against one. Great. She sat down in her chair after up righting it and waited to hear the tale.

"Perhaps it's best that William begin," Giles said looking over at Spike.

William/Spike nodded. "Right." He took a deep breath and looked over at Buffy. She looked so angry with him. He knew she would be at first, maybe even forever. But he took this job because he had agreed with Giles about Buffy needing someone who wouldn't try to control her. It was time she knew what had happened to him after he left that night. The night that he had almost…He couldn't even say it, let alone think it. He decided that it was best to start from the beginning.

"I left Sunnydale that same night that I came to see you and things got…out of control."

"Spike, it's okay," Dawn said reassuringly, "I know what happened."

He looked at the teen in shock. Tears began to form in his eyes. What else did his Lil' Bit know? "How? Who?"

"I told her," Buffy mumbled, lowering her eyes to look at the tabletop.

"Right," he said choking back the tears. He looked away from them both for a moment to compose himself. He took a deep breath to continue. "I left that night for Africa. I heard that there was a demon there that would grant whatever one wanted. If one survived the challenge. I was so disgusted with myself and I wanted so much for you to love me Buffy…"

She looked away from him when his pleading eyes met with her's. His heart sank. "So," he continued trying to keep his tone even, "I went to get a soul. I managed to survive all of the challenges that the demon set forth so that he had no recourse but to give me what I had earned. Imagine my surprise when he said he couldn't give me a soul."

"Why not Spike?" Dawn demanded with a frown, "you beat the challenges…"

He smiled at her and continued, "Because Niblet, I already had a soul."

"How is that possible?" Buffy asked in a whisper.

"Not quite sure pet."

"As best we can tell," Giles explained, "Spike developed one over the last few years while helping us. It's not much of an explanation, but at the moment it's all we've been able to deduce."

"So what happened next Spike?" Dawn asked turning their attention back to the former master vampire.

"After he said he couldn't give me a soul, I asked him to make me what I was before."

"Before what?" Buffy interrupted.

"That's the thing pet. I didn't specify. I had meant before the chip. He took it as before I became a vampire. The next thing I know, I wake up human. I was dazed. Confused. I stumbled out of the cave and into the sunlight for the first time in 122 years. I wandered around the desert for days because I didn't know who I was or where I was. Finally, my memories returned…all of them, including William's. I needed help. That's when I decided to head to England and look for Giles."

***

Buffy sat back in her chair and tried to take this all in. She felt like she was on sensory overload. Spike had left her house and decided to go to Africa for a soul. Why? Because he wanted her to be able to love him…? He already had a soul...

"When Spike arrived on my doorstep," Giles said picking up the story, "I was skeptical at best. No one, especially at the Council, had ever heard of a demon in the African desert that could turn vampires back into their human selves. Of course, it didn't help his situation when he told me why he went looking for a soul." At that point, Giles stared angrily at Spike who sat studying the tabletop with great interest. "Needless to say, Ripper took control."

Spike continued to study the table. "Completely deserved it, I did," he said in a whisper.

"So does that mean you're going to punish Buffy too?" Dawn asked with anger in her voice.

Buffy's head snapped up as she glared at Dawn.

"Why on earth would I do that Dawn? I'm not quite sure I understand…" Giles said confused.

Dawn folded her arms across her chest and glared back at Buffy. "Just for the record, I'm not condoning what Spike did that night…what he did was wrong; but Buffy's done things too."

"What type of things Dawn?" Giles asked.

"Things she did to him for no reason…" There was no way she was letting her sister come off as the victim here.

Spike looked sideways at Dawn and then over to Buffy. He didn't understand what Dawn was getting at and then suddenly it hit him. "No need to go there Niblet," he said in firm tone, "Buffy did nothing wrong. I was a monster…"

"Don't even try to say you deserved it," Dawn shouted, "She beat you to a pulp because you wouldn't let her turn herself into the police for a murder she didn't commit."

Giles couldn't believe what he was hearing. Spike had never mentioned anything like that in his discussions with him. "Buffy, is this true?"

Buffy sat in her chair with downcast eyes. She didn't want to look Giles in the eye. How could she?

"Go ahead Buffy," Dawn said angrily, "tell him how you used Spike as your personal punching bag whenever you felt the need."

"It wasn't like you're making it sound, Niblet. Buffy had her reasons…"

"Stop it Spike," Buffy sighed, "Yes, Giles. It's true."

***

Giles sat in shock. He had known that she'd had a difficult time of things after her resurrection. Spike had filled in most of the gaps after he had arrived in England. But he'd had no idea that Buffy was capable of being so cruel. Not that he was any saint himself, but still. Giles sat back in his chair and removed his glasses to clean them. "We have some things to talk about then Buffy. But not right now."

For a time the silence hung heavily in the air. Finally Dawn asked, "So how did Spike become a Watcher?"

"Right," Giles continued hesitantly, "After I decided to take pity on him, I realized that the ideal situation had presented itself to me. I wanted to stay in England. Spike wanted to come back here. Despite my misgivings about the situation, I spoke to the Council on Spike's behalf. Apparently William the Bloody turning human was of great interest to them. It also boded well for Spike that he could read the language on the scrolls that contained the prophecy. In return for certain information, he was enrolled in the Watcher training program. The Council gave him a new identity. That's when William Giles was born. I suppose Quentin found it quite amusing to give Spike my last name and to make him my nephew."

"Stupid git," William growled, "I'm not a huge fan of the man."

Giles chuckled at the remark.

"And now you're here to be my watcher. Lucky me." Buffy got up from her chair and glared at both men before she went into the back room.

Dawn started to go after her but Giles shook his head. "Let her go Dawn. You and I need to have our own discussion.

Dawn nodded slowly and sat back down at the table.

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