IvoryCordelia strolled down the school hallway, her heels clicking against the floor in tandem with many a teenage loins heart beats. She was a vision of perfection today, in a smart little suit. Not the type you would see on a business woman, but the type you’d see on a model acting as a business woman. Her hair was curled and tumbled high on her head, stray wisps falling to frame her face. And the make up she wore was like a shiny, silver mask. You weren’t getting inside her head unless she invited you. Cordelia Chase ruled the school, even now, and she knew it.
She passed Buffy by without so much as a look or snide remark in her direction. Hard eyes, Buffy thought. Hard face. Hard everything. Buffy was left staring, just like everybody else.
“She’s still pissed at me.” Willow said sullenly, at Buffy’s right. Slightly dazed, Buffy turned toward her friend. “I thought she was over it by now.”
“Well,” Buffy cleared her throat. “You did steal her boyfriend.” Willow’s brow puckered and Buffy felt immediately contrite. “Sorry. I… didn’t mean to take her side. I’m on your side. Forever.”
But something had moved inside of her. And it was her own damn fault.
She hadn’t been able to leave well enough alone. It had all started with a simple fantasy. Willow had read a book on the female psyche, and had talked with Buffy about what she’d learned. Every woman, the book had said, had fantasies of a sexual relationship with another woman. No matter how straight they think they are, a part of them will long for the unknown. The touch of a hand as soft as their own. Buffy had laughed out right and Willow had echoed it, albeit a little less exuberantly. But that had started the wheels in her head turning.
Was it true? Did women, ALL women, really want to touch OTHER women? In the sexual-hubba-hubba kind of way?
She hadn’t been able to get the possibility of that out of her head. Even while slaying, it had prayed on the back of her mind.
And so the thoughts had been planted. And the seed began to sprout into something Buffy had never suspected. She tested the idea of being with another woman in her head, and didn’t find it… bad. In fact, the thought of having a woman’s mouth between her thighs had made her immediately wet and embarrassed for it. So after getting over that uncomfortable sensation, she had moved onto the big question. WHAT woman would she enjoy having a sexual encounter with?
It hadn’t hit her until about a month ago, when her eyes had happened upon Cordelia in the middle of World History III. She’d been doing nothing but tapping her pencil against her lips, very red, very OPEN lips. And Buffy had immediately felt herself react, fingers gripping the desk top until it bent in her hands. So she’d started wondering if that small attraction had always been there, just beneath the surface of their heated, hostile antagonism. [A Willow Word]
If maybe, just maybe… she had always wanted to be a part of Cordelia fricken Chase.
The sprout had just turned into a damn blossom of knowledge.
So she’d waited for the moment when she could make it happen. Because Buffy Summers wasn’t the type to let something she wanted slip through her fingers any more than Cordelia was. One thing they had in common. And in waiting, the lust had grown thicker, heavier. It had become something she could touch with her fingers now that she knew of its existence. A simple experiment became something more. It became a need.
And she started getting damn sick of Cordelia treating her like she was a bug that needed to be stepped on. So she snapped pretty much, and had let Cordelia in on a side of her that she rarely let out.
Now the image of Cordelia’s open, moaning mouth was ingrained into the back of her eye lids.
“Forever.” Buffy said again to Willow. But she had forgotten what she was talking about.
* * *
The school day droned on, like a long walk down the yellow brick road. You went nowhere really, without there being another place you had to stop, another thing you had to do. Buffy had a hard time concentrating, other things on her mind. Important other things. Cordelia - other things.
Like what it would feel like to slide beneath Cordelia’s desk, lift that suit skirt to her hips and open up her long, long thighs.
“Buffy Summers!” Said an exasperated voice from beside her. Buffy almost fell out of her chair.
“What?” She asked as she righted herself. Mrs. Browne stood with her hands on her hips, fingers tapping the polyester green suit impatiently.
“Are you with us here in class today, Ms. Summers? Or should I find something more to entertain you?” Buffy noticed that the entire class was looking at her, smirks on every single face barring Willow, who looked worried.
Cordelia had her eyebrows raised, like she knew just what Ms. Summers had been thinking about. Buffy felt a very sharp female need to bring her claws out and wipe that tilted smile from Cordelia’s face.
One thing in life that she didn’t enjoy, was being without the upper hand.
“Uh - no. Sorry.” Buffy colored to the roots of her hair.
“Good. Now that we have EVERYONE in attendance, lets continue with our lesson.”
Buffy stared at Mrs. Browne’s back in sullen silence.
She hated that stupid, green suit.
* * *
Her heart bounced like crazy against her ribs.
“I’m worried about you, Buffy.” Giles said, waving a hand in front of her face to get her attention. Buffy started, spilling her Diet Coke across one of Giles books. He cursed, very gentle man like and lifted the sodden book out of the mess.
“So am I, Giles.” Buffy admitted quietly, to no one but herself. “So am I.”
Giles kept his eyes on her, and Buffy was sure he could read her mind. Could see the dark sparks of desire that were directed toward the cheer leader that had just passed the door way, pom-poms in her left hand, cell phone in her other.
She was blushing again.
* * *
Fifteen.
She slid her body down to the mat, bending at her elbows. Then up.
Sixteen.
Keep the back straight. Down. Up.
Seventeen.
Please. Don’t think.
Eighteen.
God, make me stop.
Nineteen.
Cordelia Chase.
Twenty.
A goddamn addiction.
* * *
When the sun set on the sky that day, it acted like it had something special inside of it. Yelled, “Look at me! Not only am I beautiful, but I’m the only thing that keeps you warm. You NEED me.” Buffy growled at it as she walked home, kicking a stone. It slid across the side walk and fell into the road.
Something sweet spread across her chest. Pain. Something she knew.
God, she wanted to just fuck the shit out of her. Make Cordelia look into her eyes and SAY she didn’t want it as bad as her. Make it so that Cordelia COULDN’T say that.
A tree branch hung low and she jumped up to tap it, laughing at the immaturity of it. She’d like to see Cordelia do that in those big heels she wore. Not gonna happen. Then again, with those heels and all that long leg, Cordelia was probably tall enough to. A blistering curse was barely held back.
Control. It was all about control. Wasn’t that always the way of things?
Buffy felt a sigh working up through her throat. She glanced all ways around her. Hoping. But no, she was all by herself on the street. And having difficulty being alone with her heart. She wished she could avoid it, like that one bad guest at a party. She wished she’d never touched Cordelia. And yet… she wanted to do it again.
Maybe she could have handled things with a little more finesse. Oh, and what were you to do Buffy? Walk up to her door and demand to take her out on a date? Yeah, cause that would go over so well. And when did you get so bitter?
About the time Cordelia Chase found herself able to walk away from me with her snotty chin in the air.
With Angel, it had been more of him begging for a moment, just a moment of her time. And feeling that he didn’t deserve it. With Cordelia… god, she found like a slobbering hound dog, settling for vague scraps of meat that had gotten tossed from the table. With one question always weighing on her mind.
“When will I get more?” She hadn’t realized she’d spoken out loud until she heard footsteps behind her.
“More what?” Angel asked, coming to walk almost right up next to her. Maybe a foot step behind. Buffy flinched under his stare. Guilty, but hell - they weren’t together anymore. Why should she have to feel guilty?
“Umm…”
As he sniffed the air around her, his head canting - Buffy realized that the day was almost over. And she wasn’t sure which direction she was headed.
And Angel knew.
“You…” He seemed to be searching for words, his lips working over his teeth, arms coming up in the air and waving around in a particularly un-scourge-like way.
“Yes.” Buffy didn’t bother to deny it. There wasn’t any use, and god it felt good to tell someone. Maybe not tell per say, but have it out in the open.
“With…” More gestures.
“Yes.”
“Wow. I didn’t know that you were…” Angel puffed out his cheeks with a rough breath. “Wow.”
“Don’t feel bad.” Buffy said consolingly to the stunned Vampire, patting his chilly hands. “I didn’t either. Until her.”
Until her. The words hung in the air. Like they should become a part of Cordelia’s name.
* * *
“Vampires!” Buffy grunted, shoving one back against a head stone. He toppled over the other side and leaped to his. “Stupid, dumb vampires, EVERYWHERE I GO!”
One leaped onto her back and Buffy tried shaking it off, eventually settling for arching her back in, and shoving a stake behind her. Dust rained around her, and she coughed, waving her hands. “Can’t you see that I’m dressed up?”
The other vampire charged her, and Buffy crouched low, swinging her leg out. The vampire fell to the ground on it’s back. “I’m dressed up for a very good reason.” Buffy told him as she straddled his chest, pressing a stake to his heart. He nodded eagerly, as if doing so would delay his ultimate fate. It did. “I’ve got a plan.” She said.
“What’s your plan?” The vampire asked through his fangs.
“After I stake you?” Buffy raised her eyebrows. “Well, I’m gonna get this dust off of me. Then I’m gonna go show Cordelia just who she’s dealing with. I was a little pushy sure, but that’s the only way to get it through her head. She was gonna be MINE.”
“Totally.” He said. “Completely.” Buffy smiled.
“Why can’t more Vampires be like you? So agreeable.” He turned to dust beneath her. Buffy stood, smacking dirt and other grimy, bad things from her black pants. “I should start carrying a dust buster.”
* * *
The moon was high when she finally found herself at Cordelia’s large house. It was imposing and statuesque. All things that Cordelia herself was. But it was also cold, and Cordelia wasn’t that. Maybe hard, and often cruel - but never cold. Buffy knew that from experience, she’d been burned by Cordelia’s heat.
The moon hung over head, a witness as Buffy became a shadow, hanging near the trees. The irony was not lost on the slayer, and she almost laughed at herself as she stared up at Cordelia’s window. Oh, how the mighty had fallen. The light was out in Cordelia’s bedroom. Was she not home? Cordelia HAD to be home. Buffy had overheard her mentioning to Harmony that she wasn’t up for a party that night, and when Harmony gave her a hard time about it, she’d said simply that a queen had to have her beauty sleep. That plus a steely look had stopped any further arguments.
And no, she hadn’t been eavesdropping thank you very much.
The gutter was easy to shimmy up, and soon Buffy was on the over hanging roof of the porch, crawling toward Cordelia’s bedroom window. The shingles were slippery from recent rain, but Buffy managed, gripping the ledge with clawed hands. A car drove down the street, a laugh echoing out into the night along side blaring music. Buffy froze, holding her breath. But the car never slowed, so she continued to inch her way toward the open window.
Stupid. Didn’t Cordelia know that was like a cry of, “Climb in and kill me,” toward all things that went bump in the night, human and not?
Well, it made it convenient for her at the moment at least, but she’d have to have a talk with Cordelia about it. Not that she’d actually listen. And what the hell was she thinking? Was she now trying to take CARE of Cordelia as well? Shaking the thought away, Buffy slid one leg through Cordelia’s window, and then both before doing the limbo on through…
The room was lit well. Cordelia had a night light. Covering absurd giggles with her palm, Buffy inched toward the bed. Cordelia remained zonked out, mouth parted, hands up near her head. Perfect. Buffy stifled a sound softer than light that bubbled up fron her heart. Afraid that if she heard it, if even the smallest of creatures could make out that sound… all would be lost.
The covers slipped from Cordelia’s body under Buffy’s guiding hands.
She wore a simple cotton t-shirt and panties. Not what Buffy had expected. Gently, Buffy spread Cordelia’s legs open enough so she could kneel on the bed. Buffy felt it bend slightly beneath her weight. Don’t wake up, she prayed. Not just yet. Her fingers curled around the elastic at the waist of the brunette’s panties and slowly, she began to drag them down and off. Briefly they caught on something. Buffy glanced down. The panties were snagged on an anklet made of ivory. Smiling sadly, Buffy smoothed her finger pads across the little treasure.
She could imagine Cordelia making the find at some flea market, instead of a top store, that everyone thought Cordelia Chase would ONLY shop in. She could see her with dark hair bound back, Jacki O. glasses on, like she was a movie star who had dealt too much with fame… the fact was? She could see it. And that was starting to become a problem.
Gently, she unhooked the anklet and held it up to her face. For a long moment, she just stared at it. Buffy leaned over then, and set it onto the night stand. It gleamed back up at her.
“Mmm…” She heard from Cordelia’s throat as a small smile appeared on her face. Must be having a good dream. “B…” Buffy went very still, heart paused, but Cordelia never finished what she might have said. Disappointed by accepting, Buffy trailed her fingers up Cordelia’s thighs. Just as she had wanted to earlier that day. Already desire fogged her brain.
Bending down she brought her face to the lips of Cordelia’s sex and studied it intimately. God, for once in her life, Buffy empathized with vampires. Because she could honestly eat this young woman with a bristly exterior alive. Every other time they had been together, it had been fast, and she hadn’t gotten a really good look at what Cordelia was revealing. But now she had, and she grinned at with shiny white teeth. A thief in the night, loving what being a cat burglar could get you. Lead right to the Cat’s cream.
Experimentally, Buffy poked her tongue from between her lips, touching just the tip of it to the folds before her face. A whimper from Cordelia, and a slight twitch of her hips. Buffy decided to just dive in. Metaphorically speaking, of course. She lapped like she would at an Ice Cream cone, all over and especially where it dripped. Then she did the ABC’s, laughing all the way through as Cordelia moaned and woke up.
“I’m dreaming.” Cordelia said, gripping the head of blonde hair to her. “Gotta be, because I’ve got a Slayer going down on me. Again.” But she wasn’t dreaming, and as Buffy’s tongue filled her center, her fingers plying the clit… Cordelia came. It was a gentle, insistent orgasm that fell over her in a kiss of a wave.
When her sanity returned, Buffy lay with her breasts pressed into Cordelia’s side. “My parents have guests downstairs.” Cordelia said waspishly, face turned away. “You should leave.”
“Nope. Sorry, can’t do that.” Buffy trailed a finger over the cotton of Cordelia’s t-shirt. “You want me too much.”
“I don’t want you.” Buffy’s finger dipped into the hollow of Cordelia’s throat. “I don’t need you.” Her nail ran along the line of Cordelia’s chin. Up. “I don’t love you.” A finger over her lips.
“Shh.” Buffy pressed a most kiss onto Cordelia’s lips. She tried to fight it, tried to move away. But in the end, she could not help herself, and she let Buffy kiss her. Take her breath straight from the lungs.
“I don’t want you.” Cordelia said again.
“You already said that.
“I don’t need you.”
A kiss, a parting of lips.
“You said that too.”
“I don’t love you.”
Silence.
“Well, Cordelia Chase - I just don’t believe you.”
But Buffy didn’t give her a chance to argue. Instead went about setting sparks and fires off of Cordelia’s skin wherever she pleased.
* * *
Later, much later, Buffy slipped nude from Cordelia’s bed. Cordelia fussed for a moment, tugging at the sheets before finding relaxation in solitude again. Buffy frowned down at her, already lonely.
The anklet caught her eye.
Ivory.
Buffy gripped it gently, and slowly - so slow she could feel her bones move, Buffy slid the anklet around her own ankle, hitching it.
Aching, she figured at least she held a part of Cordelia now.