Reset

By PSUBrat

Questions

Dawn and Buffy continued their yelling while Clem stood at the back of the crypt watching. This was not what he had signed up for when he had agreed to house-sit for the absent vampire.

"You are so going to get it when we get home," Buffy shouted above Dawn's screaming.

Clem had had just about enough. His ears were hurting and the girls were giving him a headache. He put the lemonade pitcher and two full glasses on a slab of marble, and walked over to them. "Lemonade?"

That got their attention. They stopped yelling and looked at him strangely. "Look, I don't wanna get into the middle of a family squabble or anything like that, but I have a lot of cleaning to do, and you're both giving me a headache."

"Sorry," Dawn said hesitantly, taking one of the glasses off the makeshift tray. Buffy waved at the other one, passing it up.

Clem set the marble slab down on the table next to the love seat and started to clean, hoping that the girls would now settle down - or at least stop the screaming.

"Dawn. Why exactly did you come here?" Buffy asked demandingly.

"I wanted to talk to Spike again…"

Buffy's eyes widened, "Again? What do you mean again?"

Dawn shifted on her feet nervously and tried to move the focus away from her and onto her sister. "Why are you here? You said you wouldn't stop by when I asked."

"So you just thought that since I wouldn't come here that you would?" Buffy challenged.

"Buffy, Spike is my friend. He protected me while you were…" she glanced nervously over at Clem and then back at Buffy, "…away."

"Uhm," Clem said raising his hand, "I know she was dead so you don't have to pretend she was out of town or anything."

"Does every demon know I was dead?" Buffy asked incredulously.

Clem shrugged, "Pretty much. Yeah."

Buffy rolled her eyes and looked over at her sister who was getting impatient with the exchange.

"Look Buffy, I know he hurt you but he didn't mean to. He was hurt too. And he still loves you."

Buffy had heard enough from Dawn. "We're leaving now. You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Why is that? Because I'm a kid?"

"No! Because he tried to rape me! That's why!" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. All eyes were on her now. She just wanted to crawl into a hole.

***

Willow turned out the lights, locked the door and headed upstairs. She and Tara were getting ready to go to bed when they heard a knocking at the door. "Stay here," Willow said to Tara as she made her way back down the steps, "I'll see who it is."

Willow looked out the door and saw Xander standing there. She quickly undid the locks and opened the door. "Xander, what are you doing here? I thought you and Anya would be making with the smoochies by now."

Xander slowly made his way into the Summers' home. He looked like he'd been through hell and back. "Sorry to wake you guys up. But I needed to talk to someone."

"I'll make some hot chocolate," Tara said from the bottom of the stairs. Neither one of them had heard her come down.

"Xander? What's wrong? Is Anya okay? What happened?" Willow maneuvered him into the living room; she sat him down on the couch and then moved to her own seat on the other side of the coffee table.

He seemed to be in shock. He just sat there and didn't say anything. After a few minutes, Tara came into the room with a tray of steaming coffee mugs. "You looked like you could use some chocolate," she said, setting the tray down next to Willow and giving Xander a little smile. Willow glanced at her lover with worry in her eyes.

Looking over at Willow, he asked in a whisper, "Buffy? Dawn?"

"Buffy's on patrol yet and Dawn is upstairs sleeping." Willow said putting her hand on his, "We can wait until Buffy gets back to talk about this if you want?"

Xander sighed, slumped back against the couch and stared at the ceiling. Tara and Willow looked at each other questioningly. Finally, Xander spoke. "It won't change anything if we wait for Buffy. The result is still the same. Anya is a vengeance demon again."

"What?" both girls said with shock.

"Ya know? Vengeance Demon? Men bad. Hate men. Men hurt women. Do bad things to men."

"Xander are you sure," asked Tara.

"Positive. Her little demon friend Halfrek spilled the beans and Anya didn't deny it. In fact, she confirmed it but said we could still work things out."

Tara sat down next to Xander and put her arm around his shoulders. "I'm so sorry Xander. I know how much you wanted to work things out with her. Maybe there's still some hope…"

"No. No hope. It's over. She's a demon now. How could I possibly love someone who does bad things to people?" He was getting angry now.

"Has she done any vengeance spells yet?" Tara asked still looking at him.

"Dunno. I just found out the whole secret identity thing just a few minutes ago. Dunno if she's been all vengeancy yet or not. I don't even know how long she's been a demon again."

Neither of them had noticed the look on Willow's face. She hadn't said a thing since he had first said the words, "Anya is a demon again." She now played them over in her mind. Suddenly she said, "I have to go."

Xander and Tara stopped their conversation and looked over at her. Tara asked her first, "What do you mean you have to go?"

Willow just stood and stared at them. Xander cocked his head to the side and asked, "Will? Are you okay?"

"Uh. Yeah. I'm fine. I just need to go get some marshmallows," she said with a smile and trying to sound convincing, "Can't have hot chocolaty goodness without marshmallows!"

Tara's eyes narrowed. Something was off about Willow again. Had she had another vision and just didn't want to share it yet? Tara decided not to push. "Sweetie, why don't you stay with Xander…?" But Willow was already out the front door and into the night. "…And I'll go get the marshmallows." Shrugging, Tara gave Xander a puzzled look.

***

Dawn returned to the love seat with the glass of lemonade for Buffy. She tried to wrap her mind around what Buffy had blurted out about Spike. It just didn't seem like something Spike would do. He would never intentionally hurt her sister. He loved Buffy. Of that part, Dawn was sure. She tried to make sense of it all as she handed the glass to her shaken sister. "Buffy are you sure Spike was purposely trying to hurt you? Cause wouldn't the chip have zapped him and given him a headache?"

Oh god, Buffy thought. How was she supposed to talk about something like this with her little sister? "Dawn, he was trying to force himself on me. He might have if I hadn't stopped him. Plus, something happened when I came back from…where ever I was. Spike could hurt me. And only me."

Dawn looked at her sister wide-eyed. Obviously, Buffy was upset about this and had every right to be if what she was saying was true. Still, something still didn't feel right. "Why didn't you stop him right away? You could have stopped him right away, right? Did he vamp out and become all mean vampire on you?"

"My back hurt from being knocked into a headstone after I staked a vampire, and I was tired…" Did that sound as lame to them as it did to her? "and no, he didn't go all Mr. Bumpy on me."

"Well that's a good thing, right?" Dawn asked, almost pleaded. She really didn't want to think of Spike as something evil. After a second she continued, "Buffy, I've seen you fight off demons after being kicked around by Glory. So don't even tell me you were too weak to kick him off. Why didn't you stop him when he first started?"

Dawn was right, she had managed to fight Glory, and she had been a Hell God. Why hadn't she stopped him? There was that question again: why? Why couldn't she find the answer?

"Do you love him?"

Buffy looked at her sister like she had turned into an alien, "Are you serious?"

"It's a simple question, really." It was Clem now. Great, now he was involved in all of this!

Buffy stood to face Dawn and Clem and shouted, "No! Are you people crazy!? Here I thought I was the one with the mental problems!"

"Buffy what would be so wrong if you did love him?" Dawn asked as she folded her arms against her chest.

"What would be so wrong if I did? You're joking, right? Dawn, Spike has killed hundreds of people, maybe thousands and you ask what would be so wrong if I loved him?" She was shaking her head and practically in tears again, "He tried to rape me Dawn. He hurt me. He's not even human!"

"Buffy," Dawn said looking at her sister, "Spike said to me once that it didn't matter how you started out, it's where you are now that counts. Spike hasn't hurt a human since the chip. And I bet he still wouldn't hurt anyone if the chip didn't work."

"Dawn, I seriously hope we never have to find that out," she took a sip of her drink. Her throat had gone dry and she felt like her tongue was going to stick to the roof of her mouth. The next sentence came out in almost a whisper, "but the fact still remains that he hurt me."

Clem stood there looking at the Slayer. He understood why his friend was in love with her. What human or former human wouldn't be? She was beautiful, even if she did have tight skin, ick; and she was stubborn as Hell. He also understood that Spike had hurt her but how many times had she hurt him? How many times had Spike come to play cards looking like he'd been hit by a truck? His friend wasn't here now to defend himself and the young girl that Spike cared for like a daughter was only getting one side of things. Someone had to stand up for Spike. "Slayer," Clem started hesitantly, hoping not to incur her wrath, "I don't know what was going through Spike's head when he…hurt you, but have you stopped to think of all the times you've hurt him? Like the way you used him as a punching bag whenever you felt the need to hit something?"

That got her attention. She was staring at him now. Dawn was too. Good.

"Buffy, you beat up Spike for the fun of it?" Dawn demanded as she stood face to face with her sister.

"Well," Buffy stammered, "a couple of times. Maybe once, or twice. He deserved it! For just being, well…Spike."

Clem's head was starting to hurt again. Why had he gotten into the middle of this? Too late now, he had to continue, "It was a lot of times and you know it. What about when he tried to stop you from turning yourself into the police for that murder? You beat him to a bloody pulp!"

Dawn glared at Buffy now. "You were the one that did that to him? He told me he got that way from fighting a demon when you guys were out on patrol. God Buffy, what did he do to you to deserve that?"

Anger was building in Buffy's voice as she said, "How did this become about me? Spike is the one that tried to rape me."

Looking at his watch and then looking around the crypt, Clem decided that it was time to wrap up this little therapy session, "I'm not trying to make this about you. This is about the two of you, and the pain you brought to each other. Don't you get that?" That said, he turned his back and started sweeping up the pieces of broken glass.

***

Willow looked in the window of the Magic Box to make sure Anya was there. She was, talking to a now human looking Halfrek. Willow wasn't sure what she was going to say to Anya, but she had to know. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the busted door.

Anya looked at her friend and then at the door. "Maybe it's Xander!" She rushed to the door and opened it. "Oh. It's just you." She turned and walked back to the counter.

"Nice to see you too Anya," Willow said. "Hello Halfrek."

Halfrek nodded back. "Anyanka, I'm going. Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine Hali," Anya said without much conviction, "Thanks for being here."

Willow turned to say goodbye to the demon but she had already disappeared.

"What do you want Willow because I'm really not in the mood for any kind of lecture or anything. Least of all from you."

Noticing Anya's tear streaked face, everything she had practiced saying on the way over was forgotten. She put her arm around Anya and asked, "When did things get so messed up?" Anya started to say something but Willow waved her off. "Rhetorical type question, Anya. No answer needed."

"Oh."

Silence fell on the shop. Willow wondered how she was going to ask what needed to be asked. Did she really want to know the answer? She had to know. Slowly she moved to face Anya who looked like she had lost her world. This certainly didn't look like a vengeance demon. Weren't they supposed to be all veiny and menacing? "Anya," she asked, trying to get her friend's attention.

The once demon, then human, now demon again, but still friend looked at Willow. Tears welled up in here eyes. "Yes, it's true. Xander told you, didn't he?"

Willow nodded. "Anya. I was wondering. Did you? I mean. Have you?" This was harder than she thought it would be, "Uhm. Have you granted any wishes since being…again, specifically…mine?"

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