Absence Of Thought

By Mightbeme

Sometimes the moment means more than thought

Take me for example

Just a little while ago I was thinking - well over thinking really.

Which is funny.... funny ha ha.... not funny gee that guy doesn't have a brain so how can he think funny.

I was thinking that my world was pretty much crapped out

I had friends

Well I thought I had friends, turned out they didn't really need me

I had a girl

Until she realized that life as a demon, would be better than a life tied to me

I had a father (well father figure)

But he decided he had to live for himself instead of living though us

So there I was thinking and damm it.. I was brooding, really not an attractive sight. Brooding is really only suited to tall dark guys with over styled hair and an " I was so evil but now I'm so good, but I must repent and not have any fun" attitude
When someone offered to take my mind off it..the thinking that is, I thought ..why not.

And that's what brought me to here

Thinking again

But its different this time....now I'm exhausted, my body aches in places I'm not sure I was ever meant to ache. I've never been so intense, so focused on doing something which to be fair to Anya was always good ..... just never that good. My god just looking at him now, his face is so beautiful, relaxed as he sleeps.man I hope he's asleep cause if he happened to be awake I'd have to face him ..and talk.something that I really don't want to do just yet. Yeah isn't that something. ..fuck a guy..sure why not....have mind-blowing orgasms ...who in their right mind wouldn't want that....but talk about it...ok I'm outa there.

Yeah well I never said I wasn't a typical guy did I. It's just that ... It's Spike ...the bleached menace .... a man ....a dead man I might add...well undead. And did I mention that I'm not gay. No really I'm not ... And if I say it long enough I might just believe it. But his skin is so soft .. Not like I thought it would be, I mean if I thought about it... Ok so I had thought about it, so sue me ...its hard not to notice him ... He screams sex, his body is like iron under silk so hard yet so soft at the same time. And speaking of hard..... no bad Xander bad .have some control for gods sake.. not gay, not gay, not gay ..not ...oh who am I kidding ...I'm gay or at least a little gay or bi...yeah bi , that definitely sounds better.

Oh god he's awake...and now I'm having more trouble with my breathing than any actual thinking cause god his eyes are so intense its like I know exactly what he wants. You know if he was the angel of death ... I'd die happily ...right here, right now cause he's touching .. himself ..his hands ..running over his chest, slender fingers tweaking his nipples. I can see all of him as he kicks the sheets off. Smooth pale skin, the nest of golden curls at the base of his cock. Oh god, swallow .. need moisture, my mouth is so dry, even licking my lips doesn't help. .except it makes him smile...and their goes my cock, its standing to attention like it doesn't care about my brain. Doin its own little twitch and jerk as Spike's hand travels to his own hard cock. And did I say I wasn't gay.... I'll convert ..cause god he's hot. I never thought that watching another guy jerk off could make me feel like this. My ass aches, its still slippery from last time and I can feel my internal muscles twitching alongside my cock like its tryin to send out morse code..fuck me...fuck me...fuck me....again.

Must be working cause he's leaning over ... Oh yes lips...spike lips ...heaven and hell in one package. No one kisses like he does...passionate doesn't even begin to cover it. I have to fist my hand in his hair and pull him up hard against me, I need him...I cant believe I thought that..but I do... I need what he can give me... cause when we fuck I don't think .. I just feel..and it feels good.

"Don't think pet, sometimes ya gotta just live for the moment"

You know I think I will, 'cause with him the moment could be forever.

~Fin~