CravingsBy Mightbeme
Thoughts in * *
Part Ten
Angel’s POV
*God this feels so strange*
I can feel Buffy’s presence even though we haven’t actually got to the house yet. I can see Spike and Xander in the rear view mirror, tensing the closer we get to Giles’s. Spike’s as stiff as a board, his whole manner is tuned into Xander, who just screams of guilt and sorrow. I don’t know if I can take this, to see these two who just a few hours ago were so happy. Its like the world has dropped out from under them. Even Wesley is affected, I know he never liked Spike but he does respect the Sire Childe bond. Now that he knows that I will be able to love him as he deserves he’s mellowed somewhat.
To say I was surprised at him and Xander would have to be a huge understatement. Vampires regard sexuality a bit differently than humans, we can be quite possessive, but Spike seemed to be almost as turned on as I was watching our lovers fuck. They looked so good together, Wes really let himself go, I think most of his problem before was jealousy. God I hope this works out, I want to be with him so badly and I don’t think Spike will ever forgive me if Buffy won’t co-operate.
He loves Xander so much. I always knew my boy had a soft heart, look at all the years he spent catering to Dru. When he falls he falls hard, and he’s got Xander in his blood now. I can feel myself smile at that, it does make me happy that Spike has a mate now, it seems to actually settle him down a bit. Though with Xander being ill he hasn’t been his usual snarky self, God I never thought I’d say this but I miss that side of him. His cutting wit and just the insults he’d fling at me, its just so strange not to have him snapping at me. This quiet watchful air he has now nearly breaks my heart, I don’t think he wants to go on if Xander doesn’t get well. I don’t know which would be worse, to lose Xander or to turn Xander, either way Spike will lose. A Xander turned would break his heart and to lose his mate to death would kill him as well.
Buffy is our only hope, and god knows she’s not going to take this well. As much as I loved her in the past I’ve moved on and so has she. I was glad she’d returned from the grave but we decided that nothing had changed and we had to move on with our lives. This is not going to be easy, one look at the two in the back seat assures me of that. Xander is curled up practically on Spikes lap and the blonde is holding him so tight it’s a wonder the boy can breathe. He has his lips on Xander’s forehead and he’s rocking him back and forth slowly. Wesley has a death grip on my leg and I have so much running around in my head I can barely think to drive. Just when I think the tension is going to explode we arrive.
“Well here we are”
I think Spike just squeezed Xander harder, I hope I don’t have to prise him off the boy. Wesley and I get out and I’m not sure if Xander even knows where we are, he’s going downhill fast…again.
“Come on Spike, hand him to me while you get out.”
My childe glares at me but hands Xander out of the car and into my arms, I hold him for a second then Spike takes him back cradling him to his chest. The lights are on and I see Giles at the door watching us, he’s surprised to see us that’s for sure.
“Xander are you alright, Angel, Wesley what are you doing here.”
“Rupert we’re….we’re here to….ummm help Xander”
“Help him with what, god what’s wrong with him, he’s so pale.”
I take Giles by the elbow and turn him towards the house, ushering Spike, Xander and Wesley in front of us.
“We can talk inside Giles”
Giles holds his tongue, but I can see the worry he has for Xander rising, I know he feels like a father to him. We enter the house and Spike sets Xander down on the couch after shooing Dawn and Buffy out of the way. He sits close by and Xander burrows his head into Spike’s shoulder. Willow is distraught, she falls to her knees in front of Xander taking his hand in hers, wincing at the heat rising off him.
“God Spike, Angel what’s wrong with him, he’s burning up”
Xander opens sleepy eyes, pain radiates from them and Willow gasps at the breathy voice she hears.
“Hey Wills, how’s my girl”
“Xander what’s wrong, are you sick”
He squeezes her hand and smiles slightly, his eyes dark with pain and anxiety.
“Yeah I am, but its ok, I made a choice Wills and it came back and bit me on the ass.”
A crooked smile and Spike blinks his eyes of the tears I see glinting there, he sets his lips on Xander’s head and kisses it. Buffy is shocked, she pushes to the fore ready to tear Spike away from Xander.
“What the hell is going on, Spike get away from him or you’ll be a big pile of dust”
I can’t let that happen, I grab Buffy by the arm, holding her back. She turns on me, anger and disappointment on her face.
“Buffy leave Spike alone”
“What do you mean leave him alone, since when did he become your best buddy. Why are you defending him, who knows what he’s done to Xander”
Spike glares at her, his blue eyes icy, I take the lead or else it’s going to turn ugly.
“Look we’re here to explain some things and to get some help for Xander, so why don’t we all sit down and talk about this calmly.”
Buffy shakes off my hand and stalks over to a sit next to Dawn, Giles looks concerned but not angry at Spike’s conduct. Deep breath, okay just tell them the facts.
“It’s like this, Spike and Xander are mated”
“They’re what…..”
“Oh my god, isn’t that like married”
“How the hell did that happen”?
“Does that mean they get to have sex together”
“Dawn Summers you do not want to know that”
Dawn pouted and Giles looked shocked, he sat down and pulled his glasses off for a good polishing.
“But…I’ve never heard of humans mated to vampires before.”
Wesley broke in, going to sit beside the bemused man.
“I’d never heard of it either, but regardless of that it is done…Spike is Xander’s mate.”
“But why….how did this happen, and why is Xander so sick”
Spike stirred, gently holding his lover, his face guilty, his voice soft.
“Its my fault” Xander protested but Spike put a finger to his lips and silenced him.
“No love it is my fault,” he looked up at the group “ I bit him”
Buffy launched herself from her seat but I was quicker, I’d been expecting this. As I held the angry slayer, Giles came over and sat beside Spike.
“You bastard Spike, I am so gonna dust you”
“Xander does this have anything to do with the bite you received the other night on patrol?”
“Yeah, G-man, I ummm wasn’t entirely truthful with you. The vamp that bit me is dust but umm I sorta forced Spike to bite me too.”
Giles sucked in a deep breath, the implications running through his head.
“Xander that was very unwise, why did you do it and for god’s sake why didn’t you tell me”
“I…I wanted him to, I love him Giles and then once it was done I couldn’t stop”
Giles face was infinitely sad as he regarded the boy he loved as a son.
“Xander you know that you’re dieing don’t you”
Willow gasped and Buffy, Dawn and Tara looked stricken, all four girls looked about to break down. Even Spike looked drawn and tired, he clutched Xander to him, his mate too exhausted to do anything. Xander smiled that crooked smile, trying even through his pain to soothe his friends.
“I know Giles, its ok really, I don’t think I’m gonna die”
Giles frowned and shook his head, in the background Dawn sobbed quietly.
“You’re infected now Xander, you will either die or Spike will have to turn you”
Buffy struggled in my arms her voice loud with anger.
“Over my dead body, or better yet- Spikes ashes”
I pulled her up hard against me, squeezing her arms tightly, I can’t help but react to her words. Spike is my childe and no one is going to harm him.
“Control yourself Buffy, your acting like a child”
“Oww Angel let me go, what’s wrong with you, you’re supposed to be on my side”
That’s it, I spin her around and shake her.
“Don’t be stupid, there are no sides in this. Xander’s survival depends on you. Stop acting like a spoiled brat and listen”
I feel Wesley’s hand on my shoulder and try and calm myself, Buffy stares at me like I’ve grown an extra head.
“Wesley has found a way to save Xander, we need to do a ritual on the Hellmouth and we need some of your blood. A side effect of the ritual is that it will bond my soul to me as well if I am there for it.”
“So there’s a plus in all this, if your soul is bonded then we can be together, that’s wonderful Angel”
“Buffy don’t get me wrong, I love you, I always will love you but not the way you need. We made a choice to move on and I think we should keep it that way. This ritual will change nothing between us, do you understand”
Buffy’s face hardens and she pushes out of my grip, stepping away she tosses her blonde hair back and looks disdainfully at me.
“If nothing between us will change then tell me why exactly I should give you some of my blood”
I was aghast, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, how could she be so selfish.
Spike’s agonized voice cut through the stunned silence.
“Will you stop thinking about yourself for just one moment and think about Xander. He needs your help and you want to just cut him off”
Buffy glared at him and then turned to Giles.
“I’m not going to cut him off, I just want Giles to tell me, what are the alternatives”
Giles fumbled, wiping his hand over his face as he stood up and started to pace.
“Well ordinarily once a vampire bites a human they either die or they are turned.”
“But what about Riley, he was letting them bite him and he didn’t die”
“Stupid bint, you saw how captain cardboard reacted to the withdrawals didn’t you, well that was only a bite on his wrist its nothing compared to this.”
“Well you shouldn’t have bitten him fang boy, this is all your fault”
“Stop it this is getting us nowhere”
“So what did you mean about the vamp that bit you being dust?”
“Well if a vampire is umm killed before the human dies then the infection usually goes away, it still takes time to recover but it generally works”
“Easy fixed then, I stake Spike, Xander recovers and we all get back to our lives”
Xander’s voice cut through the uproar, fury barely contained as he blazed at Buffy.
“No one so much as touches my mate, don’t even think about it Buffy ”
“Xander your not yourself, your sick can’t you see I’m just trying to protect you”
Xander struggled out of Spikes arms, his mate pushed behind him, the human boy half fainting at the effort. I pull Buffy away as Spike grabs Xander and pulls him back into his arms. The effort of trying to protect his mate has cost Xander precious energy as he begins to shake uncontrollably in Spikes arms. Willow rushes to his side, tears sliding down her face as she watches him writhe in agony.
“Oh god, we have to help him”
Spike raised agonized eyes to mine and I nod permission to him, my voice rough with emotion.
“Do what you have to do childe”
Buffy struggles again as Spike drags his nails over his throat leaving a trail of rich red blood in their wake. Pulling Xander up he moves the boy’s mouth over the wound, whispering in his ear to drink. Xander latches on and drinks, as the blood flows freely into his mouth the shakes subsided, Willow breathes a sigh of relief and finds herself drowning in Spike’s eyes.
“I trust you Spike, I can see you really love him.”
“Willow are you crazy, that is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen”
Spike throws his head back, as Xander stops drinking and starts licking the blood from his neck. Over warm hands start to roam his body and reluctantly he takes those hands in his, pulling back to look into dazed brown eyes.
“Xan love not here, not now”
“No please Spike, must….need you….it hurts”
Spike looks heartbroken as he pulls Xander close, letting him bury his head against his neck. He looks over the boys shoulder at me, and then at Giles who swallows and motions for me to come speak with him. I release Buffy into Willow’s care and we move away from the girls. Wesley stands guard over the two men entwined on the couch acutely aware of the slayers malice.
“What does Xander need Angel, I mean right now?”
I look around so that the others don’t hear us talking and look into Giles’s serious eyes. I decide to be blunt, I really don’t have any other choice.
“He needs to have sex with Spike.”
Giles’s eyes widen and his eyebrows just about disappear into his hairline at that piece of news. But he fights to contain himself and waves his hands about helplessly.
“Why”
“Because they are mates and until we can do the ritual, he needs to have Spikes blood, and the side effect of that is that he needs to have sex.”
Those eyes went from serious to calculating in an instant.
“There’s something you’re not telling me”
I shrugged, this was not going to be easy, on anybody.
“If the ritual is going to take a while to organise, its best if he has some of my blood too, its stronger and older than Spike’s.”
“And the sex……….”
I blush but don’t look away.
“Umm well yes….and the sex”
“Angel isn’t that a bit, well a bit risky”
“You mean because of the curse”
“Yes”
“Well the only way the curse can be broken is if I have a moment of perfect happiness, and well to be frank as much as I like Xander, its not going to make me perfectly happy to have sex with him. And as for Spike, he’s my childe and you have to know there’s no chance of the perfect happiness happening with him.”
Giles had to smile at that statement, he probably had the same feelings about Spike that I did, just watered down a bit more. He was always tolerant and maybe in his own way affectionate.
“Ok I’ll take the girls and organise the ritual, you stay here with Xander and Spike and see what you can do to calm him. Wesley…”
“Wesley stays here”
I stare Giles down, but I can see he’s not buying it, he looks over at Wesley and then back to me. He smiles and the tension flows out of me, he realizes what Wesley means to me and he actually looks like he approves.
“I take it you aren’t planning on having perfect happiness with Wesley”
“Oh I think it’ll stay pretty imperfect for the time being.”
“Well I’ll have to trust your judgement on that”
“Thank you Giles”
“No thank you Angel for keeping my boy alive.”
Turning he approaches Wesley who hands over the list of ingredients and paraphernalia that we would need as well as the specific time it would be done. We had 4 hours to organise ourselves before it would be over. Giles ushered the girls and a protesting Buffy out of the house, yelling over his shoulder that they would meet us at the Hellmouth in 3 and a half hours. The door clicked shut and silence fell, Spike picked up Xander and moved towards the stairs, Wesley hovered but I took him by the hand and drew him with us. The dim light of the beside lamp showed a comfortable room with a large bed, Spike sat Xander down and started to undress him. The boy desperately ripped at Spikes own clothes panting as more pale skin was revealed. I had to force myself to exhale the breath I didn’t need, as I watched the overwhelming need and desperation etched on that young face. His hands shook as he fumbled with Spike’s belt, the blonde vampire took those hands in his own and raised them to his lips. Xander closed pain filled eyes and I saw tears seep out from beneath the closed lids. Wesley took his hand from mine and gently pushed me forward.
“Go to him Angel, he needs you too”
I half turned and smiled taking his hand again I drew him forward with me towards my childe and his mate. Spike watched us approach and gently turned Xander in his arms whispering in his ear.
“You need Angel, his blood, his energy, just as much as you need me”
I took the unresisting boy in my arms, tilting my head so he could lay his lips on my throat.”
“Drink Xander, it will help”
I felt his eyelashes flutter against my skin, then his lips and tongue gently washing the spot he had bitten once before.
*God*
Sharp white teeth bit into my neck, sending a rush of fire to my groin. I swallowed against the desire rising steadily through me, opening my eyes didn’t help. Spike had pulled Wesley to him holding the human in front of him so they both could watch Xander drink from me. Wesley was breathing heavily as Spike’s hands travelled down from his waist to his hips, pulling him back against vampire’s hardon. Wesley’s eyes locked with mine, lust darkened his to a stormy hue. The sight of the two of them together was intoxicating; I licked my lips and watched as Wesley dropped his head back onto Spike’s shoulder. Spike leaned down and licked the throat offered, I growled and Spike smiled wickedly at me.
“Now, now peaches, don’t go getting all upset, I’m just gonna keep him warm for you. You know you can’t have him yet, not that way. In a few more hours you’ll be all souled up forever and you can fuck him into the mattress. But for now anyway Xander needs you, I’ll keep your boy entertained after all gotta keep it in the family.”
The blonde kissed Wesley’s neck and jaw while his hands undid the human’s pants. Pale hands reached in and cupped the erect cock it found, causing the human to moan in appreciation. I moaned as well for Xander had started to rub his hips over mine, our cocks brushing together through the barrier of my pants. His hands found my zipper and undid it, pushing my pants down impatiently. My shirt followed and I slid my hands down the curve of his spine to rest on his buttocks holding him firmly against me. His skin seared me, his heat fanning the flames in my body. I let him drink his fill, soon he finished and started to lick my neck clean. Bloody lips reached up to take mine in a passionate kiss, we fell onto the bed and I rolled him under me. I pushed the dark locks out of his eyes and licked the rivulet of blood off his chin. He stared up at me dazed chocolate eyes, calmer now but still driven, still wanting, waiting. My breath caught at the sight, if my heart had not already been given I could so easily fall for him.
Spike pulled Wesley down on the bed facing him towards us, but in the opposite direction, he scooted up behind him. I rolled off Xander and faced him towards Wesley, doing as Spike had done and fitting myself behind the boy. This placed Xander and Wesley in the classic sixty-nine position, something not lost on the two men in question. Xander leaned forward and took Wesley’s cock in his mouth, my lover moaned at the wet heat that enveloped him. Spike whispered in his ear and he reciprocated, finding and taking Xander in one long glide. The two humans writhed and moaned on the bed, each taking and receiving pleasure from each other. Spike and I watched, I’m sure my borrowed blood throbbed in my body, I ached for Wesley but I told myself just a little longer. Spike leaned over and grabbed the lube he’d brought and put some on his fingers, before handing it to me. I watched as he gently entered Wesley’s body, my lover shuddered and thrust back onto his cock. I swallowed and slathered my own aching cock with the cool lube. With my slippery fingers I prepared Xander, then carefully pushed into his tight heat.
“Ohmygod”
Spike smirked at me as the heat blazed through my body, I had been cold for so long I’d forgotten what this was like. Shaking I held myself still even as he struggled to thrust back on me. Getting control of myself was not easy, I’d closed my eyes in concentration, when I opened them I found Spike’s crystal blue eyes piercing into mine. That helped, I pushed in slowly revelling in the unbelievable feeling, Xander thrust back to meet me, then pushed forward into Wesley’s mouth. I wasn’t going to last long, I began a faster rhythm and felt Xander respond. He was just as wound up as I was and it wasn’t long before his movements became disjointed as he raced towards his climax. Spike saw Xander’s orgasm coming and carefully pulled Wesley’s hard cock out of his lover’s mouth. I sped up focusing all my energy on pushing Xander to the limit, I thrust hard and fast and in the end he came screaming.
“UhnnnnohmygodAngel”
I couldn’t hold out his body rippled and pulsed around my cock, calling for me to cum. I held him tight as the contractions pulled my orgasm from me, I buried my face in his shoulder and grazed my teeth over his neck. He shuddered and shook in my arms and we both turned weary eyes on our lovers. Spike had rolled Wesley under him and had pulled him up on his knees, his face was turned to the side and flat on the bed. Spike was on his knees, one hand on Wesley’s hip the other reached around and pumping the hard length. He threw back his head and leaned into the thrusts, Wesley moaned and pushed back to meet each one. It didn’t take long and the human was cumming, hot seed falling on to the bed, Spike couldn’t last, Wesley’s orgasm triggering his own, he came and fell forward onto Wesley pushing him down onto the bed. We lay there for a little while before, Spike pulled Wesley around to face us. I got up and swapped places with him so we could cuddle with our loved ones. The two humans were exhausted; they slipped into dreams while we held them in our arms. Spike looked at me over Xander’s head, his blue eyes still worried but calmer now.
“Everything’s going to be okay isn’t it sire”
I hugged Wesley tight and hoped.
“I’m sure it will be childe, we must be patient that’s all”
He looked down and smoothed a lock of hair behind his mate’s ear, his voice tender.
“He’s all I’ve got that’s right, if something goes wrong I want your word”
My blood chilled.
“On what childe”
Those blue eyes revealed a depth of feeling I didn’t know existed.
“I will take a walk in the sun if I lose him, promise me you’ll let me”
I felt old, so very old and tired just then, I watched my childe carefully and knew that to lose this love would be the end of him.
“Childe nothing will go wrong”
His look chided me, who was being a child now.
“Promise me”
Heart breaking I did what I knew I had to
“I promise”