CravingsBy Mightbeme
Thoughts in * *
Part Seven
Wesley’s POV
*Celtic symbols, celtic symbols, where the hell have I seen that particular symbol before. Damm, where did I see it, Druids maybe….no not that book, there it might just be in this one*
I pull the dusty volume from the bottom shelf of the bookcase, stifling a sneeze as the movement causes a cloud of dirt particles to puff up. The leather bound book crackles as I lift it up, its ancient pages protesting even this gentle handling. Carefully opening it I scan each page, my eyes are so tired it’s taken a whole night of searching and I’m hoping that this is the one. I tilt my head to each side in an effort to relieve the nagging ache that’s settled there. Concentrating on reading the ancient language gracing the pages in front of me, I momentarily pass it by, my eyes don’t quite recognise what they see. I have to take off my glasses and wipe my eyes before I look again. And suddenly its there, excitement grips me.
“Yes”
There on the yellowed page is an exact copy of the sketch I carry, I carefully read the text below the picture and feel hope flutter in my heart. I quickly scribble notes on the sketch before picking up the book and using the sketch to mark the relevant page.
*Angel will be so pleased *
I head for the stairs, taking them two at a time, eager to show my friend…….well friend is too bland a word for how I feel about him……..but that must wait till another time. I shy away from thinking too much about my feelings for Angel…..unrequited feelings, my conscience feels free to throw at me.
* Yes well, its irrelevant at this point in time*
I tell myself that, and it is, Angel is in no way capable of having a relationship with anyone. His curse forbids it, and an unhappy Angel is still far better than a happy Angelus. My heart sinks a little but I steel myself against the uncomfortable feeling, its better to keep my heart to myself and not risk anything….. untoward happening.
My steps falter for a moment but I shake myself and press onward, down the darkened steps to Angel’s apartment.
“Angel…..Spike, Xander”
No answer, strange I didn’t think any of them had left, I could be wrong I tell myself. I slowly pass though the small rooms without finding anyone, the bedroom door is closed and I lean against it, listening. No sound penetrates and I knock lightly, just in case Xander is sleeping. No answer…..I hover unsure as to whether to enter or not. Sighing I hug the book to my chest and resolve to open the door. The handle turns smoothly and the door barely creaks as I swing it open.
“Fuck”
I just whisper the word but two golden eyes snap open, I’m afraid just for a heartbeat that it’s not Angel I’m looking into. But the veil drops and warm brown eyes fill mine, and I’m not sure I see the regret that flickers though them, no I must be mistaken.
Cold fury burns through me as I take in the scene, Xander in the middle of the big bed, looking better than when I last saw him but still sick. Spike curled beside him, blonde head buried in Xander’s neck. Angel is on the other side of Xander he had lifted his head from the boy’s naked chest when I entered. I glance around the room, smell the incense burning and see the Book of Aurelis on the small makeshift alter.
The marks they all bear on their necks fuel my rage,
* Mated…..damm them*
Angel watches me warily, he gently disentangles himself from the human boy and slides his very naked body out of the bed. I can feel myself flushing as my eyes rake his glorious form as he quickly finds his pants and pulls them on.
* God he’s beautiful, dammit don’t think that*
Its strange the heat from my lust for him clashes head on with the cold fury of what seems to me to be a betrayal. I turn away and march into the kitchen, throwing the book down on the table. It hits the surface with a satisfying thump, but its not enough, I really feel the need to hit something…….or someone. Angel follows me carefully closing the bedroom door. He watches as I throw the book and an expression of surprise flits across his face.
“Wes”
His voice is soft, I can still hear faint traces of the brogue in his mellow voice. Usually it soothes me but not now, now I just want to thump him.
“Wes are you ok”
I control myself, forcing my anger into acceptable English bounds. Oh yes we are very good at that, a quick inward breath and calm settles over me….for the moment. Now is not the time to rail against the fates, that others who barely acknowledge this man are given the grace of his love over one who loves him without hope of every being loved.
“Yes Angel I am….fine. I see that you have performed the mating ritual, did you not think to tell me that you were going to pursue this course.”
“I’m sorry Wes, I didn’t tell you, but we felt that it would give Xander more time and it has.”
Angel moves closer coming around the table to stand next to me. I tell myself that I refuse to be calmed by his presence, I move away spinning the book around to face him. He looks down and I open the pages I have found, his eyes light up and I can feel the excitement in him. In spite of my rage, a spark of happiness burns in my heart as I bask in his praise.
“Wes this is great, you did it, I knew you could. Now what, does it say how to use this, what do we have to do next.”
Angel is fairly bursting, his happy babble breaks the ice in me and I smile, he pulls me to him and I freeze.
“Wes I’m so happy I could kiss you…..and I would but you probably don’t want me to, so I’ll settle for a hug”
He envelopes me in his arms and I close my eyes and just breathe,
*god *
I swallow and fight against my desire to just stay in his arms, but I can’t win, just being this close to him is affecting me. I want to lay my lips on his neck and snuggle in his arms forever, I turn my head and open my eyes. I look directly at the twin fang marks on his neck and it’s like a bucket of cold water in the face. Stiffening, I pull away falling back on my stiff upper crust, to put some distance between us.
Angel frowns slightly as I pull away, he’s confused, but he lets me move away.
I clear my throat and inhale, pulling myself together, I focus on the text, my voice only wavering slightly.
“Umm right, well this is a protection and binding symbol, it is ancient celtic in origin. There are a few ingredients we will need as well as the fact that we must perform this ritual at a specific time and place.”
Angel gives me a puzzled look, lightly sniffing the air he steps back in surprise before looking down at his feet.
“Umm you know that Lorne saw the same symbol on my chest”
He glances up, his brown eyes reaching searching mine, without words he’s asking me to understand. I tilt my head forward and rub my hand across my brow, I look back at the sketch.
“I wonder why…….wait it’s a protection and bonding spell so if Lorne saw it on your chest it could mean it’s the way to anchor your soul. Oh Angel you could love again.”
*You could love me* I add mentally, hope soaring through me only to be dashed as I remembered the cosy scene I had walked in on.
He watches the emotions flicker across my face and frowns when I slide the neutral British mask into place.
“Wesley what’s wrong…….don’t you think it could work”?
“No I am sure that it will……”
I left the words hanging for a moment then add spitefully.
“I’m sure you, Spike and Xander will be very happy”
“What do you mean”?
The soft voice surprises me, there’s an undercurrent of emotion there I can’t quite recognise.
“I mean you seem to be well, not perfectly happy, but happy none the less to have them both in your bed and now once this is done you wont have any problems”
The fury I’d worked hard to repress starts to come to the surface, the cracks in my voice are noticeable even to me.
“Why do you have a problem with who I bed, unless its you, its really none of your business”
White-hot rage consumes me, how dare he, I narrow my eyes and lower my voice.
“Fine, fuck whoever you wish, I’m leaving”
I turn to go but a large cool hand grabs me by the wrist and jerks me around. I look up into amused brown eyes, which only serve to make me angrier than I already am. I look down at his hand and then back up again, my voice frosty.
“Let….me…go”
Angel quirks an eyebrow, clearly daring me, sarcasm written all over his handsome face.
“No”
One word and I felt another blaze of anger shoot through me
“Let…me…go…Now..or”
He smiles * god he’s an annoying bastard*
“Or what Wesley”
Before I could answer he pushes me up against the nearby wall, his chest hard against mine. I gasp as I feel his lower body flush with mine, red heat staining my cheeks as I fight to control my body. He raises both my hands over my head and pins them there with one hand. The other hand slowly drifts down my cheek to my throat where it lingers over the throbbing pulse. I look at him, eyes wide, panting slightly as his face nears. I lick my dry lips and see his eyes gleam at the tiny movement.
“Wesley, I don’t know what is wrong with you…. except you seem to be acting……. for want of a better word, jealous”
I go to protest but he places a finger to my lips and silences me with a shushing sound, like I’m a child.
“You know if I wasn’t sure how you felt before, its pretty clear now.’
My eyes widen at the implication, but the finger that’s now caressing my lips keeps me silent.
“You’ve always been an enigma Wes, but now, you know I can hear your heart racing, just as I can smell the pheromones in the air around you when your aroused. And now….well, lets say now I can really feel it.”
With those words he grinds his hips against mine and I blush as my erection brushes against his. I swallow and close my eyes, I can hear the smile in his voice and my eyes snap open at his words.
“Your so pretty…..I just want to taste you”
His face is so close and his fingers grip my chin lightly as his lips find mine.
* Oh god yes*
His mouth is heaven, cool and hard, his tongue flickers at my lips and I open for him. He sweeps in taking control, taking my mouth, savouring all I have to offer. I can’t resist, I melt into him, he lets my hands go and I settle them around his neck. His hands find my hips and we grind against one another, I gasp when I feel his hand move between us to caress me through my clothes. His mouth pulls away from mine and I feel bereft until his lips find my pulse and nibble lightly. His words when he speaks are muffled against my skin but I can still make them out.
“Oh god I want you Wes”
My heart soars *He wants me* then plummets when he pulls away.
“But I cant”
My heart breaks and I feel anger growing in me again.
“Dammit Angel, spare me the excuses, I know I’m not good enough for you. Lets just leave it at that.”
I turn to go but he’s there, up close and clearly pissed.
“Don’t say that, it’s not true. I’ve never come on to you before, its not because I don’t want you………its because I do”
I must look confused, because he smiles gently, lips just ghosting over mine.
“I want to fuck you into the mattress, I want you so bad that I’m almost cumming in my pants now. You have no idea how much, how badly I need you……but we have to wait. If your right and this is the answer, then we can wait cant we. I don’t want to risk losing my soul, but there is something I can do that will make you happy and me happy but not perfectly happy if you get my drift.”
His hands move to my hips and I feel him undoing my fly, his cool hand wraps around my cock and I nearly cum on the spot. His hand guides my shaking one so that it replaces his and I’m puzzled for a moment. But then I understand and I take my cock in hand and stroke it, he watches avidly as I caress myself.
He groans and falls to his knees, his face on eye level with my crotch. I shudder at the intimacy of the moment, he licks his lips and I start to jerk my hand faster. Sliding it up and down, my other hand threads through his hair, I feel him rub his head against my fingers. His own hands fumble at his belt and I see him expose his hard cock, he starts to jerk off and we do it in unison. All too soon I feel my balls tighten, he looks up at me and licks his lips. That does it, I cum my legs weakening as I shoot all over his face. As my hot seed hits him, his own orgasm rolls over him, coating his chest with his cool cum. He licks the residue from his face and pulls me down into his arms, I’m sated and happy he’s still himself.
“Are you alright”?
He chuckles in my ear, stirring the small hairs there, it tickles.
“I’m still me, I’m afraid I wont be perfectly happy until I’m buried deep in your body Wes, with you moaning my name as you cum”
“Oh god”
I swallow, and my cock twitches in response, Angel laughs and hugs me tight.
“There’s some incentive to get this spell done soon then”
“Hell yes”