Stay Away

By AngelChase

Cordelia knocked on the door and waited for him to reply. The seconds passed and nobody answered. She knocked again. Still no answer.

"Wesley", she called through the wood. She knocked again. She heard a noise inside, but still, he didn't get the door.

"Wes, I know you are there. Please open up. It's me. Cordelia", she said, hoping that he would come to the door. But he didn't.

"Wes, I need to talk to you. Don't punish me for something I didn't do. I wasn't even here when it happened. Please, Wes. open the door", she begged softly. She stood by the door, trying to hear what was going on inside his apartment. She heard a low sound of footsteps. A few seconds later, the door was opened.

"What do you want?", he asked harshly and giving her an icy blue look.

"Wesley, how are you doing?", she asked, disregarding his intimidatory attempt at pushing her away.

"What do you want?", Wesley asked again, only this time, his tone was a little softer. She had asked him how he was. Cordelia's interest seemed genuine. He knew she would have obviously turned her attention to Angel's well being and feelings, but the fact that she was standing in front of his door meant more to him that he had imagined.

When Gunn had come asking for help to save Fred, he had told him he didn't want to see any of them at his place again. He honestly meant it. Besides, he assumed Cordelia wasn't ever going to want to talk to him again. He had, after all, taken Connor away from Angel, but also away from her, and he knew how much the little boy meant to her.

"Wesley, can I come in?", she tried softly.

He moved away from the doorframe and let her in. "Why are you here?", he asked after he closed the door.

"I miss you", she whispered, extending a hand to try to touch his arm, but he moved away. He looked at her with the same cold look he had in the beginning. He saw a tear run down her cheek and she lowered her head.

He felt the ache in his heart become stronger. She was really there for HIM. And God knew how much he missed her too, how much he needed
his sweet friend Cordelia, his confident.

"What I did. I'm sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing", he began, but she stopped him by bringing her index finger to his lips.

"I know your intentions were good, but the way you did things. that wasn't right", she said. He felt the ache become more intense as he heard her last words.

"I didn't know what else to do", he finally broke down.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you", she said as she held him tightly against her. "If I had been around. you'd have turned to me, right?", she asked hopefully.

"You wouldn't have understood", he whispered with his roughened voice.

"Yes, I would. We've dealt with prophecies before. I could have helped you", she said softly.

"Even with the Groosalugh around?", he said coldly. He regretted the sentence a second later, knowing that he had hurt her. He had accused her of neglecting the mission and focusing her attention in a man instead.

"You know he wouldn't have mattered if you had reached out to me", she barely gave volume to her words. Cordelia walked away from him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that", Wesley said. "I'm just tired of being the bad guy in this situation".

"You are not the bad guy. You are not a bad guy. Angel is just not ready to see it and he won't let go. But that's understandable too", she explained. "However, you don't deserve to be alone. I know you don't want to see us. Gunn told me that. But I'm here for you if you need me", she said.

"I don't need you", Wesley lied. He needed her. He needed all of them. But he didn't want to be with them if that meant to get them in trouble with Angel.

"You do need me", she said defiantly. "Do you want to stay here, alone, for the rest of your life? I'm sorry Wesley, but we are your only family, your only friends".

"Really? Then why don't you tell that to Angel? I bet he doesn't know you are here. I'm not important to any of you, so don't give me the family crap", he said with anger this time. He knew she was trying to help him, but he also knew that she wouldn't stand by him if that meant leaving Angel. And according to the vampire, things were only black or white when it came to Wesley.

"It's not crap", she replied between sobs.

"It's not? Then what if I need you? I need you Cordelia. I need you beside me, all the time", he whispered desperately as he came closer to her and pressed her against the wall. "Would you leave Angel to stand by me? Would you do it because I need you?", he asked her wickedly.

Cordelia only cried. "It's not one or the other", she said softly.

"You know it is", Wesley said as he pressed his body closer to hers. He moved a hand to caress her cheek. "Stay with me, Cordelia", he begged.

"Wes.", she cried with a pleading look. He understood she wouldn't leave Angel.

"Stay with me", he said again as he sunk his body into hers. She gasped and he felt the heat of her body bringing his own to attention.

She felt his body over hers. I have to get away, she thought, but she made the mistake to look at him in the eyes: two blue pools of sorrow, pain and loneliness. She gave in to his plea, running her hands along his back.

Wesley held her tightly and buried his head in her neck. She felt him sob in between kisses.

"It's ok", she assured him softly and he looked at her. They didn't say anything else. He leaned over her and they kissed, softly at first, and then hungrily and in complete abandonment. He ran his hands down her shirt as she fought to unbutton his.

They laid on the carpet, on the same stop where they were standing. She got rid of his shirt and moved down to unzip him. When she touched his crotch, he got tired of fighting her top and tore it in two. She didn't protest. Instead, she laid over him and kissed him hard. He took the opportunity to unhook her bra and tossed it to the side. Then he flip her over.

Cordelia was lying on her back, eyes almost closed and naked from the waist up. Wesley kneeled between her legs and pushed her skirt upwards. He leaned forwards and buried his head between her legs as he inhaled the scent of her arousal.

She gasped as she felt his tongue running over her panties and she tried to wrap her legs around his neck, but he didn't let her.

His hands found the sides of her panties and he pulled them down, revealing how much Cordelia wanted him or needed him. He tasted her again, this time circling his tongue around her clit. She moaned in response and he smiled, for the first time in days. And he carried on with his task, this time, introducing the tip of his index finger inside her as well.

But Cordelia didn't moan, nor gasp then. Instead, she stiffened up and she sat up."What's.?", Wesley began to ask, but he got the reply just by looking
at her and finding a shameful and regretful _expression.

"I'm sorry", she whispered as she got up and started gathering her clothes, or what was left of them. "I can't", she added.

Wesley didn't say a word. After the feeling of frustration and the ache in his crotch calmed down, he felt the regret as well. That was Cordelia and she had come to see him because she cared. How could he do that to her.

"I'm sorry", Wesley said as she was about to open the door. "I'm sorry", he repeated as he fell on his knees.

"This never happened", she said as she came closer and knelt beside him. She wrapped her arms around him and rocked him gently. "This never happened", she repeated.

~Fin~