No One's Getting Thrusty
Buffy stared at the two men on the couch. "What the hell is going on?" she demanded, placing her hands firmly on her hips.Andrew was still seated facing Xander, straddling his lap, and Xander shooed him off to the side. "It's- it's not what it looks like," Xander assured her hurriedly.
"So you weren't making out with Andrew?" Buffy inquired.
Xander pursed his lips, "Okay," he said, "Maybe it *is* what it looks like..."
"I called like five times," Buffy started, and then her eyes drifted down to where the two men were handcuffed at the wrists. She frowned, and Xander pulled his and Andrew's hands behind his back, hiding them. Buffy shook her head, "Look, Xan," she said, "I was *worried*. I called to make sure you were okay and there wasn't any answer."
Xander blushed, "Sorry," he said meekly, "I guess we were... distracted."
A faint smile flickered briefly across the slayer's face, "I can see that," she said. On the couch, Andrew shifted closer to Xander and glanced nervously at Buffy. "Xander..." she started, and then sighed, "Can I talk to you in private for a minute?"
Xander took his left hand out from behind his back and held it up, with Andrew's right hand attached and dangling limply beside, for Buffy to see. "Private might be a bit of a problem," he said.
"Can't you take them off?" Buffy asked.
Andrew nodded to the kitchen, "The key sort of fell down the drain," he offered.
Buffy looked into the kitchen, and raised her eyebrows at the collection of empty beer bottles on the counter. She looked back at Xander, "Are you drunk?" she asked incredulously.
Xander opened his mouth to respond, but Andrew cut him off, "Just a little," he assured her, adding proudly, "It's my first time."
Buffy fixed Xander with an open mouthed stare, "You got Andrew drunk?" she demanded.
"Just a little," Xander said, "He said just a little..." He glanced behind Buffy to where his front door was lying on the floor, "Did you *have* to kick the door in?" he asked.
Buffy continued to glare, "I knocked for like two minutes straight," she said, "I was *worried*, I thought something might have happened." Buffy looked back and forth between the two men on the couch, remembering the image that had greeted her when she first arrived. "Something *bad*," she amended, "like... like you got hurt or something." She looked down to where Xander had lowered their handcuffed wrists to rest on Andrew's thigh, "Like hurt in a bad way, not in a... sexual..." she looked up to Andrew's lips and then to Xander's. Buffy shook her head, cutting herself off, "I'm gonna stop now," she said, and gestured to their restrained wrists, "Handcuffs please," she commanded. The two men rose to their feet and held their wrists out to Buffy. She crossed the room, and reaching over the coffee table, grasped either side of the handcuffs in her hands and pulled. There was a satisfying metal squeal as the chain linking the cuffs broke. Buffy stood back and smiled smugly.
Andrew stared open mouthed at her, "Wow," he said in awe.
Xander shook his head and smiled appreciatively, "Slayer power," he said, "Is there anything it *can't* do?"
Buffy frowned thoughtfully for a moment, and then shrugged, "It can't resist a shoe sale," she said sadly. Buffy nodded to Xander's room, "Can we talk for a minute?" she asked again.
"Yeah, sure," Xander said, and then turned to Andrew. He took the other man's newly freed right hand in his and squeezed it gently, "Will you wait here?" Xander asked quietly, "I think the Star Trek marathon is still on...?" Andrew nudged his shoulder into Xander's arm affectionately, let go of his hand and settled back onto the couch. Xander set off after Buffy, glancing over his shoulder at Andrew as he went.
* * * * *
Buffy sat at the foot of Xander's bed, and as he came into the room and closed the door, she motioned for him to join her. Xander crossed his arms over his chest and remained standing by the door, "What are you *really* doing here?" he demanded."I'm *sorry*, Xan," Buffy offered, "I came to say that I'm sorry... now will you sit down please, you're making me nervous."
Xander shook his head and complied, setting down on the bed beside Buffy. "So what made you change your mind?" he asked.
Buffy shrugged, "There were no body parts in the popcorn box," she said. Xander looked at her, perplexed. Buffy waved a hand dissmissively, "It's sort of a long story," she explained. Xander raised his eyebrows, waiting. Buffy sighed, "The short version is that you were right." She looked down at the floor for a moment, and then back up at Xander, "People change. He deserves a second chance," she said.
Xander smiled hesitantly, "So," he said, "You're okay with this now?"
"Well, I thought I was," Buffy started, "But then I walked in on the s&m-smooch-a-thon... I mean, you *dating* him is one thing, but-," She gestured to the half of the handcuffs still attached to Xander's wrist, "*that* is a mental picture I really didn't need."
Xander chuckled, "The handcuffs were sort of an accident," he said, "Andrew found a box of Anya's old things, and he was pretending to be a cop-,"
"Please," Buffy cut in, "*Please* don't explain any further."
"It wasn't sexual," Xander insisted.
Buffy quirked an eyebrow, "Right," she said sarcastically, "Well, from where I was standing it didn't look particularly platonic."
Xander blushed, "Yeah, well, the couch bit *was*... kinda... sexual," he raised his hands defensively, "But we were just kissing."
Buffy looked at him appraisingly for a minute, and then cracked a broad smile. "I can't believe you got him drunk," she said, shaking her head.
"*I* can't believe I did up his fly after he peed," Xander shrugged.
Buffy grimaced, "Can we pretend you didn't tell me that?" she asked.
"Nope," Xander said, grinning, "That's what you get for *breaking my door*."
"You're a *carpenter*," Buffy said impatiently, "It's not like you can't fix it." Xander raised his eyebrows at Buffy, and after a moment she sighed in defeat. "I'm sorry," she offered.
Xander smiled broadly, "Apology accepted," he said.
Buffy looked down at the floor, and then back up at Xander, "So, how long have you known?" she asked.
Xander shrugged, "All my life, I guess," he frowned at himself, "Something was always sort felt wrong..." he sighed, "I just didn't realize what it was until I found something that felt right."
Buffy cocked her head to the side, "*Andrew* feels right?" she asked, "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy if you're happy... I just..."
"Don't understand?" Xander ventured.
Buffy smiled awkwardly in agreement, "*Andrew*?"
Xander chuckled, "I know," he said, "I didn't get it at first either."
"This isn't just about, you know-," Buffy gestured to the broken handcuffs on Xander's wrist, "Because I'm sure you could find a guy to... *play* with who didn't use to be evil."
"I'm sure I could," Xander shrugged, "But he wouldn't be *Andrew*." He lifted his handcuffed wrist and waved it in the air, "And it's not just about *this*," he added.
"This is so weird," Buffy smiled in astonishment, "You *really* like him, don't you?" Xander bit his lip and nodded slowly. "Do you love him?" Buffy hazarded.
"What?" Xander blinked and sat up straight, "No, I mean, it's too soon, we're just getting to know each other..." Buffy raised her eyebrows at him. "No," Xander insisted, "I mean sure, I *love* him, but-," Xander slapped a hand over his mouth and opened his eyes wide. Buffy smiled apologetically, and Xander groaned, "This is all happening too fast," he whined.
Buffy patted his arm reassuringly, "I think your first mistake was jumping right into the kinky sex," she offered.
Xander frowned at her, "We didn't jump into the kinky sex," he insisted, "there was no jumping and absolutely no sex, kinky or otherwise."
"Oh," Buffy sighed, relieved. Xander gave her a reprimanding glare. "Not that it would be bad if you guys got... thrusty..."
"No one's getting thrusty," Xander assured her, "Everything else has happened so fast, I'm *not* rushing into that..." he frowned, "Even if I'd *really* like to."
Buffy shuddered, "Ugh," she said, "Mental pictures." Xander frowned at his friend, and she sighed, "Sorry," she offered, "I really am okay with this- with you two being together..." Buffy wrinkled her nose again, "But the you two *being together*..." she shrugged, "I guess I'll just have to try not to think about it."
"Yeah, I tried that," Xander said ruefully, "It didn't work."
Buffy sighed and stood up, "I should get home," she said, crossing to the door. "Should I take Andrew with me?" she added, "Or do you want me to leave him here?"
Xander stood up slowly, "I *want* you to leave him here..." he said, "But I think you'd better take him with you."
Buffy nodded and opened the door.
They walked into the living room to find Andrew curled up on the couch, fast asleep. Xander leaned down and placed a light kiss on Andrew's cheek, and he smiled and sighed in his sleep. "I don't want to wake him," Xander whispered to Buffy, "I'll bring him home in the morning." Buffy nodded, keeping quiet, and Xander walked her to the door- or more accurately the door frame. "Thank you," he said quietly, "I don't think I could do this without all my friends behind me."
Buffy pulled him into a hug, "Just be careful," she whispered back to him, "And Xander?" Xander pulled back from the friendly embrace to look at his friend, "Always," she said, glancing down at his handcuffed wrist, "*Always* make a spare key."
* * * * *
After Buffy left (pulling the door back into place behind her), Xander walked back into the living room. Being careful not to wake him, Xander lifted Andrew in his arms, and carried him into the bedroom. Xander tucked Andrew in and then settled down on top of the covers beside him. In his sleep, Andrew rolled over, curling into Xander's arms. <Yeah, I love him,> Xander thought, <And I don't care how fast or how slow things go from here,> he leaned and placed a tender kiss on Andrew's temple, <as long as I'm with him.> Xander closed his eyes and gently pulled Andrew closer before drifting off to sleep.