His ChildeBy Kallysten
Chapter 21 - Lust (1)Never moving her eyes from Spike’s, Buffy unfastened the first two buttons of her shirt and pulled at the collar to expose her neck. She saw the quick look of surprise flash through the blue pools, then something she had only seen before when they were making love. Lust. Pure, unbridled lust. The same light his gaze had just about all the time when he looked at her, but magnified a million times.
His face came to hers, his lips brushing against her earlobe. “Thank you.”
His mouth trailed down her neck to the spot where he had left his mark before. Of their own will, her hands wove their way to the back of his head. At the same time, his arms slipped around her waist and pulled her tight against his hard body.
He paused.
His lips were against her neck, cool on cool, slightly parted, just enough for his tongue to brush lazily on her skin. He seemed to be waiting, but waiting for what? She understood just as she asked herself the question. She tugged a little on the collar of his duster then on the edge of the shirt, wondering dimly if that was the favorite one she wasn’t supposed to damage. Her mouth rested on the now better-exposed skin, just as his lips were resting on hers. Then, she felt the two slight pressure points of his fangs, not biting yet, just pushing the skin a little. She took the cue and shifted, pressing her fangs against his skin just as gently. His embrace tightened imperceptibly.
At the same second, both sets of fangs penetrated offered flesh.
Fireworks exploded behind Buffy’s tightly shut eyelids when the first mouthful of thick liquid glided down her throat. She forced herself not to draw too much, suckling lightly, just enough to keep the fireworks going. Spike on the other hand seemed to be pulling on her blood as hard as he could. She didn’t know which one felt better, his blood filling her with life or his mouth claiming the life back. As wave after wave of pleasure rocked her, she became unable to concentrate enough to keep suckling. She just rested her cheek on his shoulder, moaning softly as he took a few more pulls. Eventually he stopped, his tongue lapping at the new marks.
She was barely aware of his hand sliding between them and deftly unbuttoning her shirt all the way down. When the same hand cupped her breast, she shuddered. His thumb rubbed teasingly against an already hard nipple, then was replaced by his mouth. He sucked at the hard bud through the thin material of her bra, soaking it in the process. She was unable to do anything save whimper.
Too soon, his mouth left her breast. He nibbled his way back to her neck, then to her lips, catching the bottom one between blunt teeth. He pulled away and she groaned.
“Look at me luv,” he asked quietly.
Chapter 22 - Lust (2)
Buffy did as he had asked and opened her eyes, looking at him through fire and gold. For a second, her gaze seemed unfocused, and he wasn’t sure she was seeing him. Then she blinked, and a word passed her lips.
“Spike...”
It was, all together, an acknowledgment, a prayer, a supplication and a moan.
He nodded, satisfied that she was aware of whose arms she was in.
“Tell me what you want, luv.”
Her answer was immediate. “You.”
His lips claimed hers again, bruising, greedy. Her mouth opened and he accepted her invitation, his tongue gliding along hers, tasting remnants of his own blood. Deliberately, he let her fang nick his tongue, enjoying the rumble that rose from her throat. Then it was his turn to groan in her mouth as she bit her own tongue, liberating the sweet nectar that tasted of sugar and stars. In the joined mouths, their tongues danced slowly, mingling two bloods into one.
His hands fumbled with the button and zipper of her pants, and he briefly regretted that long leather skirt she had worn that one night a few weeks before. Eventually, he managed to push the offending garment to her knees without breaking the kiss. He caressed her skin along the edges of her panties, teasing, before pushing them down too.
She pulled away from his lips, panting, and he chuckled softly.
“You don’t need air, luv. So why are you out of breath?”
Without waiting for an answer, he pressed his thumb against her clit as he rubbed his fingers against her wetness. She groaned, and he moved his hand away.
“Now, no noise pet. We don’t want the Bit to hear, do we?”
She shook her head, biting her bottom lip. His hand slid back to her slightly parted thighs and he ran a finger along her slit. She quivered, but did not make a sound. Grinning, he used his free hand to release a breast from the confines of her bra, and simultaneously flicked her clit and nipple. She hissed, but that was all. Determined to see how long she could restrain her cries, Spike brought his mouth to her nipple and sucked on it. At the same time, he plunged two fingers into her core, rubbing the palm of his hand against her clit as he thrust in and out in cadence with his suckling. Looking up, he saw that her head was thrown back, her eyes tightly shut. Blood seeped from her bottom lip were she had broken the skin. A third finger joined the first two. He now alternated between sucking on her nipple and biting it gently with blunt teeth. Her nails were digging into his scalp, pressing him closer to her. He had learned to play her body like a fine tuned instrument, and he knew she was close, very close, even though she was still quiet. Calling the demon face forward, he grazed a fang along the side of her breast, just enough for a trickle to drip into his mouth. At the same time, he rubbed his thumb forcefully against her clit. At last, she growled as her body shuddered, and he couldn’t repress a grin. For the first time she had said his name as she was coming.
Cupping her chin, he guided her face to his to lick the blood on her lip. He then brought his fingers to his mouth, determined not to waste any of her juices. She rested her ridged forehead against his shoulder, still trying to catch a breath she had no use for.
He was about to suggest moving to a less conspicuous location for some more naughtiness when he caught the noise of a car pulling into the driveway. He cursed silently.
“Dress up, luv.”
Gently, he helped her adjust her clothes. Funny how she was more than half naked when he still had all his clothing on. Unfair. When the entrance door opened, she was decent, if still looking slightly dazed. Spike settled by her side against the counter, just an inch away from touching her, his duster closed around him to hide his quite obvious erection.
“Buffy!” the Witch’s voice called. “Are you there?”
“In here, Will.”
Willow entered the kitchen, the Watcher just a step behind her. They both froze as their gazes moved from one vampire to the other. Puzzled, Spike glanced at Buffy, wondering whether he had buttoned her shirt wrong or something of the same kind. No, she looked just fine… Except for the game face. That was a sure way to make her friends nervous. And, he realized absently, he was still in demon mode too. He touched her arm to get her attention, and when she looked at him he shifted back to his human features. She raised her hand to her forehead, frowning for an instant before the ridges disappeared.
“Hey guys,” she said in a faint voice.
“Buffy… Anya had… She had the dresses altered… She wants us to go try them. Tonight. Now.”
Red’s stammering almost made Spike chuckle, but he thought better of it as he caught the deadly look Giles was throwing at him. Also, the thought of Buffy leaving him with his 'little problem' was frustrating, to say the least.
“Coming Willow!” Buffy said with forced cheerfulness, and again Spike had to repress a laugh at her choice of words.
He was surprised when she brushed her hand on his, giving him at the same time a regretful look.
“Thanks for bringing back Dawn,” she said quietly. “And for the rest too.”
He smirked at her. “You’re welcome, luv. My pleasure.”
He could almost have sworn she was blushing as she walked toward her waiting friend.
“Oh Red,” he called before they could leave. “I never had a chance to thank you for doing your mojo.”
The Witch only nodded at him before leaving with Buffy.
“I need a drink.”
The Watcher’s mutter brought Spike’s attention back to him. He followed him into the dining room.
“I could use one too, mate.”
Without even a glance at the vampire, Giles filled two glasses with a nice golden liquid. When he handed one to Spike however, his eyes locked on the partially covered fresh mark on his neck.
“Buffy did that?” he asked in a rasp voice.
“Sure did,” Spike answered with a smile, oddly proud.
The Watcher took a long gulp and Spike imitated him, amused.
“Angel?”
“Gone.”
Another long swallow.
“Your intentions?”
This time, Spike couldn’t help laughing softly.
“Come on, Watcher. You’re not her father and she’s old enough to make her own decisions.”
Slowly, Giles put his glass down on the table and took a stake out of his coat’s inside pocket. Spike’s laugh died instantly, but he didn’t move.
“You made her your Childe, didn’t you?”
The vampire nodded.
“How do I know she is indeed making her own decisions? I’ve heard of what a Sire can do…”
“Because I can do it doesn’t mean I want to,” Spike interrupted.
The Watcher gave him a hard look. “Why should I believe you?”
“Because I love her.”
They remained facing each other in silence for several minutes. In the end, Giles pocketed the stake again. Spike relaxed ever so slightly and drained the remaining of his glass.
“Is that the moment when you promise me torture and death if I ever hurt her?”
The vampire smirked as the other man took off his glasses, and pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers, mumbling: “I need another glass.”
* * * * *
“Willow,” Buffy pleaded, “please stop looking at me like that!”
Blushing, the redhead turned her head to the window, but soon her gaze was back to Buffy.
“I’m sorry, it’s just… seeing you with the game face and all… It was wigging.”
Gently, Buffy reached for her friend’s hand, happy when she didn’t flinch at her touch.
“You saw me with the mask before, remember? When we were in that kid’s nightmare? And you’ve known for a week that I’m a vamp.”
Willow smiled apologetically. “Yeah, but it’s still weird. I’ll get used to it. We all will. Just give us time.”
For a while, they rode in silence. But a thought was annoying Buffy.
“Will, what did you mean, ‘game face and all’?”
Again, Willow blushed, until her face was only slightly paler than her hair.
“You know,” she whispered, “the bite marks?”
“Bite marks?!”
Anya loud exclamation as well as the sudden erratic movements of the car made both girls in the back seat jump. Tara, who was sitting in the passenger seat, grabbed the wheel to return the car into its proper lane as Anya was turning to look at Buffy.
“Oh no!” she protested. “You can’t have bite marks! I don’t want bite marks on the pictures!”
Involuntarily, Buffy brought her hand against her neck.
“They’ll be gone by Saturday, Anya, I promise. And I’ll wear a ribbon around my neck. Ok?”
The future bride returned her attention to the road, still slightly puffing.
“We can’t have anything go wrong,” she announced forcefully. “This wedding will be perfect.”
Chapter 23 - Long Night
The following evening, a few minutes after sunset, Buffy left the house for patrol. As soon as she stepped outside, she caught the familiar cigarette scent, and wondered how he had managed to be there so fast. He had probably been waiting for dusk in the sewer, she decided.
“These things will kill you,” she said as seriously as she could, not even trying to find him.
“Ah ah. So funny, luv.”
He came out from his spot behind the tree and walked next to her.
“Any lead on vampire nests ?” she asked after a few steps, uneasy at his silence.
“Even if I had, I’m not helping you do crazy stuff.”
“Oh, come on ! I know you enjoyed it as much as I did !”
Playfully, she hooked her arm with his. He looked at her in surprise, but didn’t say a word.
“You’re no fun,” she said with a pout.
She had been antsy all day long. Anya’s last minute dresses changes had been nerve trying. The seamstress had been quite puzzled by her refusal to step in front of the mirror, and without Willow’s and Tara’s help she might have had difficulties explaining her slight lack of reflection. Also, Anya’s comments about biting during foreplay or sex had led the way to questions she wasn’t ready to answer, even to herself.
The morning before, she had woken up next to Angel. By evening, she had been engaged in intense activities with Spike. What surprised her most was that she wasn’t even feeling guilty. She didn’t feel guilty about jumping from one man to the other within a few hours, and she didn’t feel guilty about being with Spike. The first part just confirmed that she had made the right decision in letting Angel go. The second puzzled her to no end. She had broken her relationship with Spike because the guilt had became too much to bear. And now, she was back to him, and it felt… good. Comforting.
“Luv… can I ask you a question ?”
“You can ask, but it doesn’t mean I will answer.”
They had reached the first cemetery. She let go of his arm and focused her senses on finding a prey. He sat down on a tombstone, lighting a cigarette.
“Last night… It wasn’t about him, was it ?”
She stepped right in front of him and pulled the cigarette from his lips. Letting it fall to the ground, she crushed it under her booted heel. Then she slapped him. He stared at her, unblinking.
“That’s your answer, bloody idiot,” she hissed between clenched teeth.
With that, she turned her back to him and stalked away. There was one thing he was good at. Ok, more than one. But he truly excelled at ruining perfectly fine memories with stupid remarks or questions.
She found her first victim of the night. The unsuspecting newly risen vamp, before he was staked, received a few blows she would have given Spike if he hadn’t seemed so weak still. Not that she would tell him that he looked feeble, he would probably consider that a challenge.
After a few minutes, Spike was back to walking by her side.
“Buffy… I’m sorry.”
She crossed her arms under her breast, staring stubbornly ahead, refusing to hear his whisper.
“Luv, I needed to know.”
“Know what ? Whether I’m a slut ? I can’t get what I want from one man so I grab the next one that comes around and pretend it’s the first ? Is that what you think I do?”
His hand rested on her shoulder, light as a butterfly.
“No luv.,” he answered quietly. “I think you were hurt. And when people are hurt, they do things they regret afterward.”
“Then ask the right question. Ask whether I regret anything.”
“Do you ?”
She stopped and faced him, looking straight into his eyes. Dark blue they seemed under the half moon.
“I do not regret anything I did yesterday. Nor will I ever. Unless you keep asking stupid questions.”
The worry on his face disappeared.
“No more stupid questions, luv.”
She nodded, and started walking again.
“I know about a nest,” he said after a while. “A little one. Five or six vamps maximum. Interested ?”
She stopped dead in her tracks, a predatory grin coming to her lips. “That is a stupid question again, Spike. Where is it ?”
* * * * *
Spike just stood by the entrance of the mausoleum, preventing anyone from escaping but not stepping in to help. She was having way too good of a time for him to intrude. So he just watched her, proud that such a beautiful and dangerous creature was his Childe. Flying from vamp to vamp, she was dancing amidst ashes, grinning like a kid on Christmas morning. All too soon, she was standing alone, her eyes scanning around her, as if hoping to find more adversaries, however inadequate they were.
“This didn’t use to be so much fun !” she commented as she was striding back to him, a merry bounce in her step.
He looked around them, making sure no one was close, before answering as quietly as he could. “You’ve changed, luv. Vamps like violence, that’s in our nature, just as much as the hunt or…”
He looked at her suggestively, and she threw him a half disgusted look.
“You’re a pig, Spike.”
He laughed so hard he had to wipe tears off his eyes. “I stand corrected, pet. You haven’t changed that much!”
They patrolled for another half hour, during which she dusted a couple of stupid minions who had tried to ambush her. He had expected her to patrol all night long, as she used to with the poof, but she explained that she needed her beauty rest for the wedding. A bit disgruntled, he walked her back home, more by habit than necessity.
“What are you doing tomorrow afternoon during 2 and 9 ?”
He shrugged. “Will be hiding from the sun, as usual.”
“It’s going to rain all day,” she said merrily. “No sun to hide from.”
“And you know that because ?”
“Anya wanted rain. She’s heard somewhere that rainy weddings are the happiest.”
He shook his head. As much as he liked the demon girl, he had to admit she was crazy. Obviously she was, after all she was marrying Harris. In any case, rainy day meant he would be able to go get some blood. He should have gone after patrol, but he wasn’t in the mood to go all the way to the hospital. The kid had been cute and all, bringing him pig blood from the butcher since he was too tired to go out, but he missed his O-neg.
“Spikeyouwannabemydate ?”
“Say that again Slayer ?”
He had perfectly understood, but he wanted to hear it again.
“Do you want to be my date ?” she said more slowly. “To the wedding, I mean.”
He chuckled softly. A few days ago, he had been sure she would stake him rather than give him the time of night. And now she was asking him on a date. Granted, the whelp’s wedding wasn’t his idea of a perfect date, but it was still something.
“You sure Harris isn’t going to stake me on sight ?” he asked with feigned worry.
“Anya said you could come as long as you stay away from him. And as long as you don’t bite me until after the pictures are taken. She really insisted on that part.”
She giggled at that, and he looked at her, puzzled. Women…
“I don’t have to dress up, do I ?”
“Of course you do !” she protested. “That is, if you own anything dressy…”
She eyed him doubtfully, and he repressed a laugh. They had reached her home, and he was hoping she would invite him in to finish what they had started the night before. However, she just brushed her lips on his cheek before getting to the door.
“Be here by 1.30,” she instructed.
He nodded, watching the door close behind her. Damn all weddings, beauty rests and dressy clothes. Damn him for not trying his luck in the mausoleum. Damn her for being so bleeding gorgeous. This was going to be a long night.
Chapter 24 - Hell's Bells (1)
“Who would have thought that not having a reflection could be a good thing?”
The sound of thunder punctuated Buffy’s quiet remark. She was standing with Willow in front of the full size mirror, but only Willow’s horrified look was reflecting back at them.
“Buffy... it's hideous. My god, look at its arms!”
Buffy nodded, again thanking whomever for sparing her the sight of herself in that monstrosity that Anya had chosen for her bridesmaids. The dresses seemed even more hideous now that they were actually going to wear them all day than when they had just been trying them at the store.
“I know. But it's my duty... I'm Buffy the vampire bridesmaid.”
Willow snorted. “Duty-schmooty. I'm supposed to be the best man. Shouldn't I be all Marlene Dietrichy in a dashing tuxedo number?”
Fingering the ribbon that encircled her neck, Buffy gave an amused look to Willow.
“No, ‘cause that would be totally unfair. We all must participate equally in the cosmic joke of bridesmaids-dom.”
Willow couldn’t seem to take her eyes away from the mirror, and it reminded Buffy of the gloomy fascination some people have for car wrecks.
“Maybe if I ask Anya ,” the redhead said unconvinced, “I can still go with the traditional blood larva and burlap. I mean, she was a vengeance demon for like a thousand years, she'd know all the most flattering... larvae.”
Shrugging, Buffy looked around for her shoes and slipped them on, noticing how they lost their reflection as soon as she touched them.
“What was she thinking?” Willow insisted.
Resting her hands on Willow’s shoulders, Buffy pulled her away from the mirror and its horrors.
“I think Anya's way too stressed to think right now,” she said gently. “Between changing the wedding date because of my illness, Xander's relatives and her... demons...”
Willow shuddered and gave Buffy a horrified look.
“Ohmigod, last night… You were so lucky to miss that rehearsal dinner. It was a zoo without the table manners. And I bet it got worse after I left.”
Buffy had felt a bit guilty about not attending the dinner, but she had to patrol. Patrolling was her excuse to ask Spike to come. No patrol, no date. But hearing that it had been so bad, she didn’t feel so bad anymore about missing the rehearsal.
“Does everyone really believe the story that Anya's people are "circus folk" ?” She asked, a bit incredulous.
“You don’t know Xander’s family as well as I do,” Willow said with a sigh. “As long as you give them something to drink, they won’t ask…”
Willow was interrupted by the door opening to give way to Anya. The bride to be, still in her bathrobe, froze as she saw the two friends. Her eyes grew wide and she covered her mouth with a hand, as if stifling a yell of horror. Willow and Buffy exchanged a worried look. It was a bit late for Anya to come to her senses about their dresses…
“Oh!” she exclaimed at last. “You two look so beautiful !”
A radiant smile illuminated her face as she stepped to the vampire and witch and hugged both of them. Buffy and Willow grinned at each other over her shoulders.
“This is the happiest day of my life.” Anya declared solemnly
* * * * *
Grumbling under his non-existent breath, Spike knocked on the door, then stuffed his hands back into the pockets of his duster. The absurdity of the whole situation was monumental. He was going to the wedding of the human he quite possibly hated most on earth, in the middle of the bloody day, during a storm that very probably wasn’t natural, and to top it all he was dressed like a bloody nancy boy. He was on the point of returning back to the crypt when he remembered that Buffy had actually asked him for a date. Simultaneously the door opened in front of him.
“Hey Nibblet,” he smirked.
The kid’s pouting face lit up suddenly. “Spike ! I didn’t know you were coming !”
“Yeah, me neither,” he whispered as he stepped in.
He observed Dawn, making the mental note to keep an eye on her in case boys at the wedding got ideas.
“I can’t say I like the color,” he said with a smile, “but you look beautiful.”
She blushed furiously, looking down at her dress. “Yeah, you can call me asparagus girl,” she joked.
She seemed to notice what he was hiding under the duster, and pulled the coat open to have a better look.
“Hey, talking about beautiful… I didn’t know you wear tuxedos.”
“I don’t,” he said with a frown. “This is the very first and very last time ever.”
That was true. Until the night before, he didn’t even own a tuxedo. A little ‘shopping’ had remedied to that in the last hours of the night.
“Come on,” she cajoled, “say you’ll wear one when I get married. Pretty please ?”
He blinked a couple of times. She was a kid ! How could she already think about getting married ?! And what was it with women and weddings anyway ?
“We have time to see about that,” he said noncommittally.
Dawn replied something, but he didn’t hear. He had just noticed Buffy coming down the steps with Willow and Anya. Even in that horrible green puffy excuse of a dress, she was beautiful and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He was brought back to the present by the bride to be poking a finger at his chest.
“Remember,” she said with a tone that promised vengeance if he didn’t comply, “You can’t bite Buffy, or anyone for that matter, until after the pictures are taken.”
He gave her his best smirk. “I got it, pet. Will keep my fangs to myself. What about…”
He was about to ask about whether Buffy was allowed to bite him, but the pleading look that she threw at him clearly requested that he drop the subject.
“What about Harris?” he finished. “Tell me where he is so I can avoid him.”
The girl’s face was split by a large grin at the mention of the groom.
“We’re going to the lodge right now,” Willow supplied. “Xander will join us there, and the guests will start arriving in half an hour. Which means we’re late !”
Willow, Dawn and Anya scattered toward unknown destinations, and Spike found himself alone facing Buffy.
“Hello, Buffy,” he said quietly.
“Hey.” The shy smile she gave him could almost have reanimated his heart. “So I see you do own some dressy clothes. Trying to impress me ?”
He couldn’t repress a smirk, and his doubts about wearing that stupid tux evaporated. “Is it working?”
Buffy looked at him a moment, frowning a bit. “It would look better without the duster.”
Without a word, he took off the leather piece, and draped it over the stairway ramp. “I’ll leave it here, then. Will get it back when the grand occasion is over.”
He chuckled inwardly, having found the perfect excuse to come to her place after the wedding. For a few seconds, they just watched each other. He noticed the ribbon encircling her neck, but said nothing about it, preferring instead to comment on her obvious delight.
“It's nice, watching you be happy,” he said softly. “There was a time when I thought I’d never see you smiling again. And I was trying so hard for these smiles…”
His voice trailed. “It’s nice,” he repeated. “You almost seem to glow.”
Her smile deepened, coming very close to a self-depreciating grin. “That's because my dress is radioactive,” she joked.
As if following a perfectly timed choreography, Willow, Dawn, Giles and Anya converged at the same time to the entry hall, where Buffy and Spike were still standing.
“Time to run !” Anya exclaimed. “The bridesmaids with me in the limo, the men follow in my car, we were supposed to be at the lodge five minutes ago!”
In a dazzling flash of green, the ladies were gone, leaving Spike with the Watcher. They exchanged a glance, and the same word escaped their lips, half curse, half puzzled wonder.
“Women.”
It was with the same wonder and puzzlement that, a few minutes later, the two men observed Willow as she fit a veil over a bison’s head.
“Isn’t there a law punishing cruelty against animals ?” Spike commented to the Watcher.
Giles only shrugged. The Witch was finally done, and stepping down from her ladder, she admired her work proudly. Spike gave a quick glance to Dawn, who had also been watching the scene, and was oddly happy to notice she seemed to think this was weird too.
This was all very well, he thought glumly, but he hadn’t come here to look at bison’s head covered in tulle. He hadn’t seen Buffy since they had arrived, and he was beginning to get grumpy.
* * * * *
With a sigh, Buffy finally managed to hook Xander’s cummerbund around his waist, silently thanking her combined Slayer and vampire strength. As the groom turned back toward her, she gave him a bright smile and started to fumble with his bow tie. She was glad that he seemed to have accepted that she was a vampire now, and there was no trace of anger or pity in his eyes any more. Instead, there was only joy.
“You look really great, Mr. About-to-get-married. You're glowing.”
Her eyes widened and she gasped, trying her best at keeping a straight face. “Omigod, Xander Maybe you're pregnant!”
He laughed a little. “Or maybe, I dunno... maybe I'm just happy. I’m marrying the most wonderful woman ever and all my friends are there to share the day with me.”
At his words, tears came up to Buffy’s eyes. She tried very hard to fight them back while continuing to try tying his bow tie.
“Teary,” Xander commented, sounding a bit concerned.
“Oh, good teary,” she said with a smile,
“Happy teary? Not frustrated with bow tie teary?”
“Yes. Happy. Happy for you.”
They shared a quiet look and Buffy continued : “And happy for me. Happy that I am here to see you and Anya get married. Happy that you’re still my friend.”
“I’ll always be your friend, Buffy. Nothing can change that.”
She felt the tears coming back in force. After a last tug at the tie, she gave up.
“Then you’ll still be my friend when I tell you I can tie this ? Isn't your best man supposed to do this anyway?”
By the look he gave her, she knew that he had guessed how much his words meant to her. But he didn’t comment on it, saying instead : “She said she had something important to do.”
Nodding, Buffy watched him tie the demonic bow, wondering why he had let her fight with it when he obviously knew how to do it better that she did. When he was done, she handed him his jacket and he slipped it on, adjusting his lapels carefully. He then twirled in front of her.
“How do I look?”
“I'd say you look ready to get married,” she said approvingly.
Laughing softly as he beamed at her, she gave him a hug. She had almost missed this. If not for Spike’s decision, she not only wouldn’t have been present for the wedding, but her friends’ happy occasion probably would have been saddened too. Again, she regretted having called him selfish. Again, she realized how true his words were when he had said many people loved and needed her. Again, the tears welled in her eyes.
Chapter 25 - Hell's Bells (2)
Ignoring the ramblings of a drunken man, who apparently was the whelp’s father, Spike crossed the crowded room. He had just spotted Buffy, after fruitlessly looking for her for a good half hour. Before he could say a word however, she grabbed his elbow and dragged him along her, whispering: “You get Mr. Harris. Keep him away from the bar and out of trouble for a moment. I’ll calm down his wife and the most excited of the demons. Got it ?”
He shook his head, pulling his arm away from her. “I am not…” he began.
“Thank you,” she interrupted with a smile, “I knew I could count on you.”
With that, she gave him a quick kiss on the lips and pushed him to the man who was now insulting the demons, unaware of how close he was to his own death. With a curse, he grabbed him by the arm and led him forcefully to one of the corners of the room, ignoring his protests.
“So, I understand you’re the wh… Harris father ?” Spike said conversationally while grinding his teeth.
“Yes I am,” the drunk man replied haughtily. “I’m the one paying for all that stuff.”
He gestured to the room for emphasis. Spike nodded, repressing an irritated growl. He glanced at the room, noticing that Buffy had once again disappeared. Having nothing better to do, he decided to play her game, hoping to earn cookies points.
“So you must have some nice money, uh ? What do you do for a living ?”
Somebody would have to pay for that, he repeated to himself as he listened to the tedious man. Rarely in his unlife had he come to hate someone as quickly. He was almost sorry for the whelp to have such a wanker for a father.
After a little while, as the guests had taken place in their seats and were waiting for the ceremony to begin at last, Spike managed to rid himself of Mr. Harris. Apparently, the man had been more than happy to find someone ready to listen to him as he vehemently criticized, in no particular order and in details, his wife, son, future daughter in law and family, co-workers, and the IRS.
Needing a cigarette very badly, the vampire walked outside the lodge, leaning by the door, seeking a little quiet time. His idea of a date certainly didn’t include a girl who kept disappearing and babysitting a drunken fool.
As he was taking a long drag on his fag, the groom stepped out of the building, closing the door behind him. He looked completely shaken, not that Spike cared. As his eyes fell on the vampire, his expression turned sour.
“What the hell are you doing here ?” he spat.
“Smoking, you git. What about you ? Getting cold feet ?”
Xander’s fists closed, and Spike tensed, ready to duck. But strangely, the blow didn’t come.
“I can’t marry her,” he said, as if to himself, his eyes unfocused.
Spike arched an eyebrow, pondering whether to probe or not. With an internal sigh, he decided that letting the whelp run away would ruin the wedding, which would upset Buffy, which would lead to nothing good for him later that night.
“You must be deaf, dumb and blind if you don’t want a woman like her,” Spike commented
Xander seemed to remember he wasn’t alone, and threw an angry look at the vampire.
“Don’t you dare judge me ! You have no idea how bad things will turn if I marry her ! I’m doing her a favor by stopping this now.”
Spike threw the remaining of his cigarette to the floor. “You’re right about one thing. I have no idea what your marriage will be like. And neither do you. You won’t know until you actually get there.”
He took a step toward Xander, the shadow of a smirk on his lips. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid, Harris. You’ve fought more demons with the Slayer than there are freaks behind this door. And now you’re afraid of a woman ?”
Again, Xander seemed about to hit him.
“I am not afraid…” he started.
“Yes you are,” Spike cut him. “You’re afraid of hurting her. You’re afraid of not making her happy. Guess what. Everybody is. Of course you can never give her all that she deserves. No one can. But you can try. And try your best. And try again if it doesn’t work. At least, that’s what you do when you love. Do you love her, whelp ? Or was it all a show ?”
Walking by Xander, Spike opened the door and stood by it, lighting another cigarette, waiting. “What will it be, Harris ? Run like a coward ? Or try like a man?”
The brunette gave him a hard look. “What do you know about being a man ? You’re a thing.”
Spike only shrugged. “Who cares ? We’re talking about you, aren’t we ?”
Xander glanced inside, where he could see a few of the guests. The quartet was beginning to play softly.
“What if, however hard I try, it’s not enough ?” he whispered.
“What if it is ?” Spike asked back.
After taking a big breath, Xander nodded.
“Don’t tell her…”
Spike gave him an offended look. “As if I would admit exchanging three civil words with you. I have a reputation to keep !”
Just then, Willow appeared by the door, giving a puzzled look at Spike before turning her attention to Xander.
“Everybody’s ready. Time to get married, Xander !”
Xander passed by Spike without giving him a glance, taking Willow outstretched hand. Then he paused, and still without looking at the vampire, said : “Are you coming or what, Spike ? It’s not like we’re going to wait for you to finish your cigarette.”
Spike crushed the half smoked fag under his heel and followed the two Scoobies inside, grinning with self-satisfaction. Buffy would have no reason to be upset. And, hopefully, she’d give him reasons to be happy…
* * * * *
The string quartet started playing the processional, and all the guests turned to watch, coming down the aisle, one after the other, slow and solemn, Willow, Halfrek, Buffy and Tara. The three bridesmaids took their place on the left, while the groom’s best friend settled by his side on the right. Anya finally appeared and everyone stood as she started gliding down the aisle, resplendent, her eyes fixed on Xander. Buffy couldn’t help smiling at the happiness that emanated from her.
As the bride reached the altar, the minister started talking, but his words were covered by a roar.
“NO !”
Behind the confused guests, a small old man was transforming into a huge demon.
“There will be no wedding, Anyanka !” he shouted again as he started coming forward.
In a few strides, Buffy had reached the creature that was so rudely interrupting the ceremony. After a couple of kicks and blows, she twisted its neck at it fell at her feet, lifeless. She raised her head to see all the guests staring at her, some with complete incomprehension, some with fear, a few with respect. She was suddenly very glad she couldn’t blush.
“Unless someone else wants to object,” she said as calmly as she could, “the ceremony can continue.”
After a brief pause, the minister started talking again, his voice slightly shaking. Anya didn’t seem troubled by the incident, and Xander’s frown disappeared after a couple of seconds. Buffy took advantage of the fact that people were looking toward the front again to grab the slain demon by an arm and pull it away. She was soon joined by Spike, who helped her hide the thing in one of the dressing rooms. They would have time later to dispose of the body.
Quickly, they returned to the salon where the ceremony was proceeding. Unwilling to attract attention again by returning to the altar, Buffy stood behind everybody, by the end of the aisle. Spike settled next to her and took her hand, making her smile unconsciously.
“I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because I love you and I always will. Before I met you, I was, like, a different person. Not even a person, really. And I had seen what love did to people. It was hurt. And sadness. Alone was better. And then suddenly there was you, and you knew me, you saw me, and it was this...thing. You make me feel warm, and safe. So I get it now, I finally get love, Xander. I really do.”
There was a short silence, and Xander’s voice rose, strangled, thick with emotion.
“I, Xander, want to marry you, Anya, because I love you and always will. I can’t promise you’ll never be hurt. I can’t promise you’ll never be sad. But I do promise every day of my life I will try my best to make you happy. And if my best isn’t enough, I will try even harder. And never stop trying. I promise, Anya. I really do.”
Spike’s pressure on her hand grew just a little and Buffy looked at him briefly, surprised to find him actually paying attention to the ceremony. Her eyes returned to the couple in time to see them exchange their rings and the traditional kiss. At the same instant, Spike’s lips brushed her cheek, and he whispered : “I promise, Buffy.”
Chapter 26 - Hell's Bells (3)
Pictures were taken. Lots of pictures. Gloomily, Buffy realized that despite her hopes, she would eventually see herself in the green horror, but she managed to keep smiling for posterity’s sake. All the while, Spike was standing behind the photographer, his eyes on her whether she was actually posing for a picture or waiting for Anya’s next directions. A very faint grin was gracing his lips, and she was sure she knew exactly what he was thinking. He had promised not to bite her until the pictures were taken. And now they almost were finished.
She couldn’t help looking at him too, still surprised that he had actually dressed up for the occasion. She would never have thought he would look so good in a tuxedo. The fabric was dark blue, almost black, on top of a white shirt. Black shoes and a blue tie the same shade as his eyes completed the attire. His almost white hair was slicked back. He was just gorgeous, there was no other word. Idly, she wondered whether she would see him looking so classy ever again.
As the session was coming to an end, Buffy presented a request to the happy couple, ready to beg if needed. Xander surprised her by simply nodding his agreement. Anya only beamed at the chance of one more picture. As the Scoobies organized themselves one more time around the Bride and Groom, Buffy hurried to Spike and, taking his hand, pulled him after her. She settled next to Dawn on Anya’s left, Spike by her side. Willow, Tara and Giles were on the other side, next to Xander. In a blinding flash, the picture was taken and the group dispersed, but Buffy’s hand didn’t let go of Spike’s.
It was finally time to join the rest of the guests in the dining room. Since Buffy’s little ‘intervention’ during the ceremony, the demons had been particularly subdued, the rumor running among them that the Slayer was a guest and that she was pissed off. And who could blame her, having to wear such an awful dress ? Unwilling to give her any reason to demonstrate her abilities again, the ‘circus people’ had collectively decided to ignore any taunting or rude remark from the human guests. The humans, in turn, still not quite sure of what had been going on with the blonde bridesmaid, were mostly keeping to themselves Wary eyes now darted more often toward the diminutive woman with a violent streak than toward the bride’s freaky family.
The dinner went just fine, though Buffy didn’t pay much attention to what she was eating or to the conversations. She was observing the peroxided blonde seated across her, the words he had whispered at the end of the ceremony still singing in her ears. It would have been easy to believe he had just repeated something he had promised before, that as her Sire he would be there to take care of her. Yet, knowing that he loved her, the words were totally different. However hard she had pushed him away in the past, he had stayed. Nothing she had done or said had ever been enough to make him give up. And now she was sure he never would. A part of her was exhilarated by the thought. Another part was more scared than she had ever been.
* * * * *
To his great surprise, Spike was actually having a good time at the whelp’s wedding. He would have enjoyed a little more action, having thought that the tension between humans and demons would quickly evolve into a nice brawl. But weirdly enough, no fights, no blows, not even verbal arguments were to be heard. Oh well…
Sitting across the table, the Slayer seemed to enjoy herself too. She was making small talk with the rest of the table, but he had noticed that always her eyes were coming back to him, and he had to restrain himself not to just grab her and find a more private spot. And blood certainly wasn't the only thing in his mind.
All the while, he was keeping a distracted eye on Dawn. The girl was at the next table, sitting with a demon that seemed to be about her age. The boy was a bit too familiar to Spike’s liking, touching the bit’s hand while leaning toward her to whisper in her ear. Yes, way too familiar. He’d need to have a little chat with the kid later.
The dinner was over, cake frosting had been wiped from Xander’s face, and the newly wed were finishing their first dance. There had been an awkward moment when D’Hoffryn and Mrs Harris, having opened the dance with Anya and Xander, found themselves compelled by custom to dance together, but they both survived the ordeal.
Excusing himself from the table, Spike first stopped by Dawn’s table. The Nibblet had just run off in the direction of the restrooms, leaving her new friend free for Spike to scare. A flash of his fangs and a few quiet words were sufficient to convince the now stammering kid not to try anything less than honorable if he wanted to survive the wedding.
Quite satisfied with himself, the vampire approached the DJ. After a short discussion, he was skipping – of course not, he wasn’t skipping, Big Bads don’t skip - back to his table. Standing by Buffy, he touched her shoulder lightly.
“May I have this dance, my lady ?”
She beamed at him as she took his offered hand and rose. They reached the dance floor just as the music he had requested was starting. He slid his arms around her waist, and hers sneaked around his neck. He grinned at her look of surprise when she recognized the song.
It must have been cold there in my shadow
To never have sunlight on your face
You were content to let me shine
That's your way
You always walked a step behind“You remembered ?” she asked quietly, her eyes shining.
He nodded, holding her tightly against him. She rested her head against his shoulder and he nuzzled her hair.
So I was the one with all the glory
While you were the one with all the strain
A beautiful face without a name
For so long
A beautiful smile to hide the painOf course he remembered. It had been about two years before. The Witch and her spells gone wrong. Or not so wrong…
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
And everything I would like to be
I can fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wingsFor a few hours, he had been Buffy’s fiancé. It still sounded weird, even now. At the time, he wasn’t aware of the depth of his feelings for her. The whole experience had helped him start to realize. He had felt so good as she was sitting on his lap. So happy when she had said yes. So lost when the spell had been broken and she had looked at him with horror. He had hid the pain, to himself as well as the others, but it had been one more cut in his unbeating heart.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed
But I've got it all here in my heart
I want you to know, I know the truth
Of course I've known it
I would be nothing without youAnd yes, he remembered. Every word she had said. Every look she had given him. Every touch and kiss. Every smile and pout. It had been then that they kissed for the first time. It had been then that she said she loved him, which she had never done again, even when they were shagging every night. It had been then that she had told him about her wedding dreams. And the song she wanted for their first dance. Oh no, he would never forget.
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be
I can fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings* * * * *
As the song played, the world ceased to exist for Buffy. There was just her, her Sire, and Bette Midler’s voice.
He had remembered.
Since Willow’s spell, she had thought of their engagement every time she had listened to that song. When it had happened, she had no feelings for him. He was just an annoying pest, too harmless to waste a stake on. Still, when the spell had been broken, she had felt like she had lost something, after having felt complete and so perfectly loved for just a few hours.
A lot of things had happened since. His admission to loving her. Glory and the way he had helped. Her death and his promise to take care of Dawn. Her return and the comfort he had given her. The way she had broken the relationship they had, because it seemed so wrong. His decision to turn her. His presence every time she needed him. He had changed.
And so had she. She was glad he was part of her life. She was proud to be his Childe. She cared about him. A lot. Very deeply. And the song seemed to have a whole new meaning now.
“Pet…” he whispered against her hair. “The music stopped.”
Another song started, with a faster beat, but they continued their slow dance.
She raised her head to look at his eyes. “You won’t ever leave me, will you ?”
“You only realize that now ?” he said with a smirk.
She shook her head slowly. “I think I’ve known for a while. But I couldn’t let myself believe it.”
His arms squeezed her a bit more tightly. He wasn’t smiling any more, seriousness filling his face.
“Believe me, luv. I’m not going anywhere. Unless I turn to ashes, but even then I will still be in your blood.”
His head came down to her neck, his lips rubbing against the ribbon that hid his marks.
“I believe you now,” she whispered, threading her fingers in his hair.
“Does it change anything ?”
However hard he was trying to hide it, hope was piercing in his voice. Buffy hated herself for not being able to give him the answer she knew he wished to hear.
“Maybe,” she said quietly. “Time will tell.”
“We have eternity in front of us, pet. There’s no rush.”
His face came back up, and she saw that he meant it. He would wait for her. After all, he had been waiting a long time already. Sealing the distance between them, she brought her lips to his like a caress, closing her eyes. The kiss lingered and deepened, his tongue sliding into her mouth to touch hers. At the taste of blood, her eyes snapped open, only to meet blue depths that grinned at her surprise. He must have shifted to game face and back too fast for anyone to notice. She accepted the offering, enjoying the taste of his essence. She would have time later to return the gift in kind.
Chapter 27 - New MarksWhen 11 o’clock came, Giles was in Sunnydale’s airport, saying his goodbyes to Buffy. The rest of the Scoobies had saluted him as he had left the reception, but she had insisted to accompany him to the airport. He hadn’t been able to say no, even when Spike had made clear he was coming along.
They were quite a sight, really. Buffy in her acid green fashion mistake, Spike in his impeccable tuxedo, and himself in the very English tweed he had slipped back on before leaving the wedding site. Still, they had attracted even more stares a bit earlier, when they had carried the body of the dead demon from the lodge to the trunk of Anya’s car. They had dumped it in the river on the way to the airport, and Giles was a bit chagrined for not having had the time to identify what kind of demon it had been.
His flight was finally announced. He gave the keys of the car to Spike.
“Be careful,” he admonished.
The vampire rolled his eyes. “I was already driving when your parents were newborns, Watcher.”
“I wasn’t talking about the car.”
Spike’s eyes narrowed for a second, and his face was split by that insufferable grin of his.
“Have a beer for me when you get home, Rupert. The good stuff.”
Giles nodded absently, and Spike moved back a few steps, giving him and Buffy a little space.
“I already miss you,” Buffy whispered, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
He smiled at her, opening his arms for a hug.
“You’ll be fine, dear,” he reassured, patting her back. “I know you’re strong enough to take anything life sends your way. You’ve proven it many times.”
She stepped back and nodded gravely, swallowing hard. “I’ll make you proud, you’ll see.”
“Buffy, I’m already proud of you. You’re more than a Watcher… a father could ever want.”
The huge smile she gave him let him know he had found the right words. God, leaving was becoming harder every time…
“Take care of you. And whatever you do, remember that your friends and I are here to support you. Not to judge your choices or feelings.”
That was the closest thing to a blessing he could make himself give. His world had been turned upside down when the young lady that was his charge, and almost his daughter, had become a vampire. Not just any kind of vampire, but a vampire with a soul. That she tolerated the presence of Spike, who, if chipped, was still soulless, was in itself disturbing. But she actually seemed to look for and enjoy his company. It was hard for Giles to accept. He wasn’t sure exactly of what was going on between these two, and he wasn’t sure either that he wanted to know. Whatever it was, he only hoped that Spike wasn’t taking advantage of the Sire/ Childe bond. Strangely enough, he didn’t believe the vampire was. After all, if that had been his goal, it would have been much easier for Spike to forget the whole soul restoration idea.
The final call for his flight was given. A last hug, a last wave, and he was boarding the plane, his mind already drifting to what he was going to tell the Council.
* * * * *
“So pet, back to the wedding? Or did you have enough niceties for one day?”
Spike took his eyes off the road for an instant to glance at Buffy by his side. She wasn’t crying, but she certainly looked pretty close.
“I’m not in the mood for partying any more,” she replied. “Willow said she’d keep an eye on Dawn and bring her back.”
“To your home, then.”
The rest of the ride was done in silence. Spike knew she was hurt by the Watcher’s departure, but he couldn’t find any word of comfort to offer her. And by the look of her, she wouldn’t want a more physical kind of comfort. Mentally cursing Giles for ruining what could have been a perfect evening, Spike followed his Childe inside her house. He was grabbing the duster he had left there earlier when Buffy’s hand caught his wrist gently.
“You’re leaving?”
He saw the sadness in her eyes, but knew better than to think he was causing it. It was her Watcher leaving that was breaking her heart.
“’Thought you’d want to be alone, luv.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t want to be alone. Stay. Please.”
He reached to her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “Anything you want.”
“Anything at all?”
He nodded. Expecting her to ask for his blood, he started to pull at his tie. She understood immediately and stopped him, resting a hand on his.
“That’s not what I want…”
She paused, frowning at her own words before continuing.
“Well, I do want it, yes. But what I want most is… can you… will you let me sleep in your arms?”
She finished her question in a whisper, and for an instant he wasn’t sure he had heard correctly.
“As I said luv, anything you want.”
She smiled at him, hesitant. “I guess sleeping isn’t quite what you had in mind, uh?”
He had a short laugh. “Am I that transparent?”
She stepped right against him, nesting her face against his shoulder.
“I kinda wanted more too,” her muffled voice admitted. “But now…”
He pressed his lips to her silk hair. “Don’t worry about it, luv,” he whispered. “You want to go to bed now? Watch telly? Or what else?”
“I’m tired,” she sighed.
“Let’s put you in bed then.”
Scooping her in his arms, he carried her up the steps to her bedroom, leaving her at the door.
“I think you should get out of this dress by yourself, luv. Probably safer for the sleeping plan.”
He gave her his trademark smirk, and she returned the smile shyly.
“Just go ahead and get comfy, I’ll be back in a minute.”
Getting back downstairs to the kitchen, Spike grabbed blood in the fridge and warmed two mugs. He hadn’t fed since morning. Feeding from her was tempting, but she probably hadn’t fed in a while either. Also, that was sure to lead to much more than just sleep. He drained his mug in the kitchen before bringing the other up to Buffy. He found her sitting in front of her vanity desk, clad in her kittens PJs. She was staring blankly at the mirror, a forgotten brush in her hand. He placed the mug in front of her, and, gently taking the brush from her hand, started combing her hair.
“You’ll get used to it after a while,” he offered. “You won’t even notice mirrors any more.”
She gave a small jump at his word, seemingly coming out of her thoughts. She became aware of the warm blood in front of her and grabbed it, sipping it slowly.
As he was done with his brushing, Spike noticed that she still had the ribbon around her neck. He untied it carefully, his fingers brushing against the tender scar. He was about to give her the length of satin, but on second thought he slipped it in his pocket.
He then started undressing, carelessly letting his clothes fall in a heap on the floor, amused by the furtive glances she was throwing at him. He stopped as he was down to only his pants.
“Done with your snack, pet? Then hop in the bed. I’ll turn the light off.”
The ghost of a pout, on her lips for only a second, made him chuckle quietly. As he had thought, she had been waiting for a free show. Once she was under the cover, he checked the curtains before flicking the light off. He then divested himself of his pants, wishing for the first time in years that he had bothered with some underwear. He slipped in the bed behind her, spooning against her, kissing the back of her head. It never ceased to amaze him how perfectly their bodies fit together.
Without the sounds of her breathing, it was impossible to tell whether she was asleep or not. He finally let himself drift into sleep, his arm wrapped around her waist, smiling at the thought that, for the first time, he was in her bed.
* * * * *
For a long time, Buffy remained awake, staring straight at the darkness in front of her, the events of the day replaying in her mind. Xander’s acceptance of what she was now. The demon interrupting the ceremony and her slaying it without needing to think twice. The ceremony and the vows. Spike’s promise. Their dance. Giles leaving. And now Spike in her bed, naked as a newborn, but making no attempt to get into her panties. His arm around her felt good. His body along hers felt even better. Before sleep claimed her, she remembered something Anya had said during her vows, about feeling safe and warm. Dimly, she understood what she had meant.
* * * * *
Spike awoke slowly, becoming aware of several sensations one after the other. His fingers were touching something silky. Soft. Not fabric. Her hair. Something wet against his shoulder. It took him a little moment to realize it was her mouth, and even longer to understand she was softly suckling on his blood. He hadn’t even felt the fangs pierce his skin. The last two things he noticed were that her hand was stroking his cock, and that he was rock hard. And he wondered how he had been able to sleep while she was touching him. His hand glided to her back, caressing. Immediately she stopped her suckling and her face came up next to his. The room was dark because of the drawn curtains, but he could see her smiling features.
“Hey there. Nice dreams?”
He blinked a couple of times and grinned lazily. “Not as nice as waking up next to you.”
Her lips came to his in a gentle kiss that gradually deepened. He reached between their bodies, unfastening the buttons of her top then sliding it off one shoulder. He broke the kiss and softly pushed her to her back, stripping her completely of the PJs vest in the process. His fingers trailed on her pale skin, tantalizingly avoiding her breast. When he reached the edge of her sleeping pants, she raised her hips and he pulled them off her.
She lay there, immobile, watching him as he watched her. His eyes wandered over her nude form, marveling at her flawless pale skin, gliding along her smooth curves.
“Perfect,” he whispered.
Not touching her became unbearable. His mouth descended on her right breast while his hand cupped the left. He teased the hardening nipple, flicking it with his tongue and lightly pulling at it with blunt teeth. At the same time, her other peak was enduring the merciless assault of his fingers, which in turn rubbed, tweaked and pinched. The double attack soon had her whimpering.
Abandoning her breast, his hand ran over her skin to her thighs and she parted them slightly. He brushed a finger over her clit, making her body quiver. The same finger slid inside her, finding her more than ready for him. His mouth left her breast as he positioned himself between her legs. He looked at her face and paused, just pressing against her entrance. Her eyes were closed and she was biting her lips. At his lack of movement, her eyelids fluttered and she looked at him, questioning. At the same moment, he pushed into her in one forceful motion. He almost came right then at the look of ecstasy that filled her face. Leaning down to capture her mouth, he settled in a slow rhythm. His tongue moved at the same pace as his cock, plunging deep into her mouth and caressing her. Before long however, her hips were raising against his, accelerating the tempo, changing the angle to make him brush against her clit with each stroke. Needlessly panting, he pulled away from her lips, and returned to the nipple he had teased earlier. Her fingers locked behind his head, pushing him against her breast.
“Spike…”
Instinctively, he knew what her moan was pleading for. He shifted to game face without a thought and sank his fangs in the side of her breast. Her body convulsed under his, her inner walls squeezing him delightfully. Thrusting deep into her one last time, he sucked on the punctures forcefully. Blood flooded his mouth as he came. Again, her body shook, even harder than before, and a wordless shout escaped her lips.
He slipped off her body, his head resting on her chest. Her fingers were playing in his hair as he lapped at the new marks he had given her. Only he would see these, he thought happily.
Chapter 28 - Still the Queen
“Buffy!” Dawn’s voice cried, alarmed. “Are you…”
Buffy’s eyes shot open as the teen burst into the bedroom. Her cheeks instantly turned crimson as her gaze fell on the two lovers. She quickly turned her back to them, just as Spike grabbed the sheet and pulled it up to cover them both.
“Bloody hell,” he muttered. “Won’t you Summers women ever learn to knock ?”
“I’m… I’m sorry,” Dawn stammered, mortified. “I heard Buffy yell and… and I thought… I was afraid… I didn’t know…”
Buffy had to bite the inside of her cheeks not to laugh out loud. She should have been as embarrassed as her sister, but she was mostly amused by her reaction. It also helped that her body had been shielded by Spike’s from her sister’s view.
“Dawnie, will you shut the door please ? I’ll come downstairs in a minute. I have to talk to you.”
Mumbling more apologies, Dawn closed the door behind her. Buffy let out a little chuckle, causing Spike to emerge from under the sheet and look at her, eyebrow arched.
“What’s funny ?”
“The look on her face when her eyes fell on you! Her eyes were ready to pop out!”
She giggled as Spike groaned, pressing his palms against his eyelids.
“At least she only saw your backside,” Buffy commented, only causing another grumble.
She slipped out of the bed and started putting her pajamas back on. She could feel Spike’s eyes on her as she was doing so. He wasn't touching her and still it felt like a caress.
“Why does it bother you so much?” she asked after a moment. “I never thought you were prudish.”
“I’m not, but that was Dawn,” he said simply, as if it explained everything. “And since we’re on questions, why doesn’t it bother you at all? I thought you didn’t want you chums to know.”
Buffy looked at him, sprawled on the bed, the sheet barely covering his waist. His hands were behind his head, but even in that relaxed position there was something of power about him, pure wild force. For a second, she was tempted to join him again, but shook off the idea. She had told Dawn she was coming down.
“Well,” she said after a few seconds, “this is not how I would have chosen to break the news, but I guess it’s better if they do know. After all, they were going to ask questions anyway once they noticed you live here.”
Emotions passed through his face, surprise the most obvious one.
“I live here?” he repeated softly.
She nodded, kneeling on the bed next to him. “That is, if you want to. That wasn’t either how I planed to…”
She screeched as he pounced on her, his body pressing hers into the mattress, his mouth raining kisses all over her face. Before she knew it, she was naked again, and it was a long time before she remembered that Dawn was waiting for her.
* * * * *
Dawn felt her cheeks burn again when Buffy entered the kitchen. Almost an hour had passed since she had erupted in Buffy’s room, afraid to discover a pile of dust instead of her sister, finding instead two very naked vampires. She had no trouble imagining why it had taken so long for Buffy to come down. Not that she wanted to imagine… Unable to meet her gaze yet, she busied herself with her bowl of cereals.
“You’re eating breakfast?” Buffy asked. “It’s past noon!”
Dawn only shrugged, looking at her sister’s back as she was pulling blood from the fridge and warming it in the microwave. She was surprised to realize it didn’t bother her at all. She had been around Spike for so long that blood wasn’t revolting any more. As long as they didn’t dip cookies in it…
“We came back from the wedding kinda late,” she explained. “And I slept in. And would still be sleeping if you hadn’t awoken me.”
Buffy turned toward her, a sheepish grin on her face.
“Sorry about that.”
Dawn couldn’t help smiling too.
“That’s ok. Except for the mental scars.”
Seeing Spike’s behind wasn’t that horrible, but she certainly wasn’t going to admit it.
She took a few spoons of cereals, observing from the corner of her eye Buffy drinking her blood, a hesitant look on her face.
“Spill,” she commanded. “What do you have to say that bothers you so much?”
Buffy gave a little jump. “It doesn’t bother me…” she started, then stopped and took a deep breath. “Spike is going to live here. If that’s ok with…”
Before she could finish, Dawn was shrieking happily, bolting from her seat to hug her.
“This is so cool! I am so happy for you two!”
* * * * *
Spike stood in the entrance, finishing to button up his shirt after his quick shower, his usual smirk in full effect. The kid was hugging Buffy and babbling incoherently. He had thought she wouldn’t mind, but had not expected her to be so enthusiastic. It made him oddly happy. Buffy winked at him above her sister’s shoulder. He still couldn’t believe she had actually asked him to live with them.
“You love him? I know he loves you but you must love him too if he’s going to live here. That’s so great!”
His grin started to get even bigger at the Nibblet’s words, and then he noticed Buffy’s look. Deer caught in headlights. And he realized that she hadn’t said it. Even after asking him to move in, she still hadn’t admitted she loved him. Shaking the thought away, he moved toward the fridge. He wasn’t going to ruin a great day trying to rush things. She was letting the Bit and her mates know about them, that was a fine start.
Dawn finally noticed him and jumped on him, hugging him as she had hugged Buffy.
“That’s so great!” the Bit was saying excitedly. “I’m so happy!”
He smoothed her hair lightly, giving a side look to Buffy. She was watching them with a very slight frown, and he would have given the world to know what she was thinking at that instant. She passed by them, squeezing his shoulder lightly.
“I’ll go take a shower. Don’t let her smother you.”
Eventually, Dawn let go off him and sat at the table, still beaming. Returning to his first idea, he helped himself with some blood, using the same mug Buffy had left in the sink. He glanced outside, mentally cursing at the glaring sun, and wondered if he would be able to get away with smoking just one fag in the house. He decided not to tempt fate.
“Spike, can I ask you a question?”
Sipping at the warm pig blood and wishing it was human, Spike arched an eyebrow at Dawn, inviting her to continue.
“What’s a Childe?”
He froze at the unexpected question, before forcing himself to gulp the rest of the liquid down, delaying his answer for a few seconds. How could he explain to the kid, and how much ?
“Why do you ask, Nibblet?”
By the frown that crossed her face, he knew she realized he was stalling.
“I heard Willow tell Tara that Buffy is your Childe. What does it mean?”
Irritation grew in Spike. If the Witches were blabbering about this where anyone could hear, they would need to explain themselves to a very pissed off vampire. Chipped, and therefore harmless to them, but still...
“It means that I turned her. I am her Sire and she is my Childe.”
She nodded slowly before asking: “So all vampires are Childes? Who is your Sire?”
Trying to suppress a growl, he answered as casually as he could. He knew she hated the poof, and wasn’t sure how she would take the news.
“Not all vampires are Childer. It takes a strong master vampire to make a Childe. And my bloody Sire is Angelus.”
Her eyes widened a little as she silently mouthed the word ‘Angel’.
“You haven’t told her everything.”
Both Dawn and Spike looked at Willow, who was just entering the kitchen, arms crossed below her breast.
“You haven’t told her about the way you control Buffy,” the Witch continued, her voice cold as ice.
He stared at her, slowly understanding what she was talking about, aware that Dawn was looking from her to him.
“I do not control Buffy in any way,” he said slowly, his eyes shifting to Dawn. “I could if I wanted to, that’s part of me being her Sire, but I don’t.”
“That’s not what I heard,” Willow persisted. “Angel called. He explained to me the bond thing. He told me you used it before, and that you would use it again. Obviously he was right.”
His hands closed into tight fists until his nails broke the skin of his palms, drawing small blood crescents. Even gone, the bloody poof was still a pain in the arse. Looking at Dawn, he could see the hesitation on her face. She didn’t know whether to believe Willow or him, and that hurt more than the Witch’s words.
“Why do you say that Willow?” the Bit asked finally.
“Buffy just told me he’s moving in. There’s no way our Buffy would have him live here. There’s no way she would do anything with Spike except fight. So there’s only one logical explanation. He’s forcing her.”
Dawn looked appalled, and he couldn’t tell whether she was horrified because she believed Willow or because what the Witch claimed was so bloody stupid. He was about to give the redhead a piece of his mind when he noticed Buffy, standing just behind her, draped in a bathrobe. She was frowning, but not saying a word, and neither Willow nor Dawn had seen her. He looked straight into her eyes as he replied to the Witch, containing his anger with difficulty.
“If I was forcing Buffy to do anything, she would know. She would do it, but she would know about being forced.”
He paused, waiting for Buffy to confirm his words.
“He’s telling the truth, Will. I would know. And he isn’t forcing me to do anything.”
The redhead turned to Buffy, at last becoming aware of her presence.
“Buffy,” she pleaded, “you know you would never have invited Spike to live here. You would never have loved him. Never would have let him touch you. He must be doing something to your mind! Angel said he did it before, and he was sure he would do it again. He told me to watch out for anything unusual, and that’s it. I have proof.”
A quiet growl escaped Spike’s throat. There was an easy way out of this nonsense. Buffy just had to tell her so-called friend that yes, she had let him touch her before being turned, before he even had the possibility to order her to do anything. Spike waited for the revelation, his eyes focused on Buffy. As she kept quiet, it hit him. She wasn’t going to tell them about before. She wasn’t going to admit she had had a relationship with him, however twisted it was, while she was still human.
“I know he is not forcing me,” she said at last, trying to sound convincing. “You have to believe me, Will. I do only what I want to. I’m still me.”
“Bloody right about that,” Spike snarled. “Still the queen bitch of denial.”
All three women locked their gazes on him as he spoke. Dawn looked surprised, Willow angry, and Buffy hurt. All three reactions only fueled his ire.
“You know what, Slayer? I think I’ll pass your offer. Family life is just not for me. You know where to find me if you need me. That hasn’t changed either.”
Scowling, he stalked out of the kitchen, passing by his Childe without looking at her. She was still ashamed. He was good enough for Buffy the vampire, but not for Buffy the human. Still not good enough to prove to her friends that it was more than a blood link between them. Still not good enough to love.
Climbing up the stairs, he stormed in her bedroom, putting his shoes and vest on, grabbing the blanket from the bed. Within a minute, he was back down the steps and slipped his duster on. Dawn was waiting there, as well as Buffy.
“I believe you,” the Bit said quietly. “I know you wouldn’t do that. Please don’t go.”
She took his hand in hers and he squeezed lightly.
“Thank you for trusting me,” he whispered, before saying louder: ”I won’t be far, Dawn. Same old crypt. When your sister is ready to stop lying to herself and to the others, maybe I’ll be back.”
He walked past her toward the door, stopping when Buffy touched his arm softly.
“Spike…”
He turned to her, looking into her hazel eyes, seeing the pain in them. He flinched, and his resolve started melting. He had to look away to steel himself. His eyes fell on the Witch, who was watching them from the kitchen. That was enough to renew his anger and allow him to look at Buffy again.
“Enough pretending, luv. Enough lies. I may be love’s bitch, that doesn’t mean I’m bloody stupid. I said I would help. I will. But you’ll have to come to me, Slayer. I am not a pet to keep home for when the mood strikes you to play.”
Her hand dropped from his arm, and he hated himself for the pain he had put in her eyes. At the same time, he hated her for not defending him better in front of her friend, not defending herself better. He hated her about half as much as he loved her. And it hurt to leave now, when for a blessed hour he had thought… Growling, he pushed the thought out of his mind. Draping the blanket around himself, he opened the door and stepped out in the sun.
Chapter 29 - Pretend
Buffy stared blankly at the door behind which her Sire and lover had just disappeared. She barely felt Dawn’s hand resting on her shoulder, barely heard her words.
“Buffy… What did he mean about pretending and lying? You’re not just pretending to love him, are you?”
Closing her eyes, Buffy took a deep breath, trying to force the tears down. How could she explain to Dawn what she barely understood herself?
“I never pretended to love him,” she whispered. “I never said I did.”
The soothing hand left her shoulder abruptly. She forced herself to meet Dawn’s gaze, cringing at what she saw there. The girl wasn’t happy. And that was the understatement of the century.
“You sleep with him, you ask him to live with you, and you don’t even love him?”
The teen’s voice was stripped of all emotions, completely cold.
“Dawnie, it’s not that easy. I can’t explain, I don’t even know...”
“You don’t need to explain anything. You use him. He loves you more than anything and you use him like a thing.”
Hearing in Dawn’s mouth words she had said herself a few weeks before was like a knife plunging into her unbeating heart. She watched silently as her sister climbed up the stairs, her door closing with a loud noise.
Was it only fifteen minutes earlier that everything had seemed so perfect? Spike was moving in, Dawn was thrilled, and she was feeling at peace. Content. Satisfied. Still not quite sure about her feelings for him, but happy that he was there for her. And now he had left. Dawn hated her. Her world was crumbling around her, again.
She knew he wouldn’t go far. Even if he had not told Dawn he would be in his crypt, she wouldn’t have worried about him leaving town. He had promised. She knew how he felt about his promises. Also, she remembered what he had said about needing to see her, needing to take care of her. She would have bet her soul he would be following her when she went on patrol that night.
“Buffy…”
Willow’s voice made her jump. She had forgotten the redhead was still there, lost as she was in her gloomy thoughts. Her friend came closer, an uncertain smile on her lips.
“I couldn’t let him control you, Buffy. It’s not right. He can’t do that to you.”
Buffy shook her head. “He really isn’t controlling me in any way, Willow. I do want him. I need him.”
Her voice broke in a dry sob, and Willow hugged her gently.
“Buffy, you just told Dawn you don’t love him. It’s all because he is your Sire. That’s why you think you want him, but it’s just the bond between you two. Angel explained it to me.”
Buffy’s body tensed as Willow pronounced Angel’s name, and she pulled away from her.
“Angel has no right…” she started, but Willow interrupted her.
“He is just worried for you. He doesn’t want Spike to take advantage of you. And neither do I. If Spike had nothing to feel guilty for, he wouldn’t have left.”
For a second, Buffy considered telling her friend about exactly who was using who and how as far as Spike and herself were concerned. But she couldn’t make herself say it. Admitting to it now would be admitting to months of lying. It would only open again the door to the question of whether or not she loved Spike. She wouldn’t, couldn’t answer that now. And that was the whole problem.
Having no way to convince Willow, Buffy left the redhead and returned to her bedroom. She stared at the bed for a while, the sheets still rumpled from their morning activities. She noticed a piece of fabric on the floor and picked it up. Spike’s tie. Instinctively, she brought it to her face, breathing his scent. She crawled between the sheets, still holding the silk length between her fingers, and closed her eyes, imagining she had never left that bed and his embrace.
* * * * *
Back in his crypt, Spike was pacing furiously and smoking cigarette after cigarette. He had thought that everything was going better, and there he was back to square one. Even worse. Now the Witch thought he was controlling Buffy. She had been decent to him before, no chance of that now. The Nibblet had been so happy, she probably hated him now that he had left the house. At least she didn’t believe he was playing with her sister’s mind. It was just the opposite, in fact. Buffy was playing with his mind. Alternating fire and ice until he didn’t know what to feel any more. A century with an insane Drusilla had not shattered his reason, but a few days with Buffy might be enough to make him crazy. Or maybe he had been mad to begin with. Mad to fall in love with the Slayer. Mad to turn her. Mad to give her back her soul. Mad not to just use the power he had on her like he was suspected of doing.
Mad to leave her.
Madly in love.
Eventually, he got tired of walking around, and let himself fall on the bed. He pulled out of his pocket the ribbon she had worn on her neck and started playing with it, turning it between his burnt fingers like a charm. In his anger, he had stupidly stuck his hand in the sun to open the sewer's manhole. The burnt flesh didn't hurt any more, but it looked nasty. He was lying on her blanket, the one he had used to protect himself from the same bloody sun. It smelled like her. It was almost like he was back in her bed. He could just close his eyes, and pretend that it was still morning. She was there, just against him, not a care in the world, just happy to be together. Just pretend.
Chapter 30 - Normal Again (1)
Sighing, Buffy crossed the last address off her list. It had seemed like a good idea, really, to go hunting for the three annoying nerds. It should have taken her mind off demons and vampires, and particularly off Spike. But it wasn’t working. First, the hunt was boring. The list Willow had made three weeks ago of newly rented places had yielded no result so far. It probably was too old by now. Second, Spike was lurking around. Her Slayer senses were telling her that a vampire had been following her almost since she left the house. Yet, every time she turned or tried to see him, she couldn’t find him. She wouldn’t call out for him. He was the one who had left in anger. He was the one who had called her a bitch. He would be the one to come to her, and not the other way around.
Trying to focus on her present mission, Buffy found the last house she had to check. She doubted this last address would turn out to be the one. It was a nice residential street, cute houses lined up on their little grass patches. She came close to the window, peering in. It was completely empty. Whoever had rented this had never moved in, or already moved out.
Decided to be thorough despite the blatant uselessness of it all, Buffy walked to the back of the house to check on an eventual van. Tilting her head, she stopped mid stride, and listened carefully. A hiss came from the shadows, followed by a tall and nasty looking demon. Exactly what she had wanted to avoid for the night. Slowly, they started circling around each other. Buffy noted dimly that she had never seen one of these red eyed, translucent skinned demons. Always something new on the Hellmouth…
“Um, you didn't by any chance just eat a bunch of nerds, did you?”
Before she had finished her question, the demon was swinging at her. Ducking was simple, and so was pushing the thing back down the alley. She was just telling herself how easy her slaying duties had become since she had been turned, when the demon surprised her, grabbing her by the arm and plunging a long, needle-like stinger in her flesh. She shook him off, staggering. She had to close her eyes for a second to stop the world from spinning around her. When she opened them again, the demon was gone. And so was the alley.
* * * * *
Cursing, Spike threw the cigarette to the floor and ran to Buffy. She had been doing just fine, kicking the demon’s ugly behind in that graceful dance of hers. And suddenly, she had just stopped fighting and let the demon run away. That was a few seconds ago, and she was still in the same spot, looking completely out of this world.
In a few strides he was by her side, passing a hand in front of her unfocused eyes. The smell of blood caught his attention, and he found the puncture in her arm, from which oozed a small trickle. Mixed to the blood’s scent was something else, something he had never smelled before. He could only guess that it was what had put her in that catatonic state. For a second, it reminded him how she had completely blacked out a year before, when Glory had managed to take Dawn. It had been torture to see her completely unresponsive then. It was even worse now.
He tried to shake her, gently at first, then more forcefully, but with no reaction. Not knowing what else to do, he scooped her up in his arms and started walking away. The bloody Witch would surely blame it on him, but at least she might be able to help. After a few steps however, she jerked into his arms and came back to her senses. She looked up at him, a frown creasing her forehead.
“Spike? What happened?”
He repressed a sigh at hearing her talk and held her tighter, but didn’t slow his step.
“You tell me, luv. You just stood there staring at nothing. That bleeding demon could have killed you.”
That is, he could have if he had known she was a vampire. Come to think of it, he had not even tried, just running away when she stopped fighting. Weird.
“Put me down. I can walk.”
Keeping his doubts unvoiced, he complied, ready to catch her if needed.
“So what happened?”
She shook her head as if to clear her ideas, and touched her arm where she was bleeding.
“The demon stung me. And then I was… somewhere else.”
Watching the far away look on her face, he lit a cigarette and dragged on it heavily.
“Where were you, luv?”
She blinked several times and looked at him. “It doesn’t matter. That was just an hallucination. I’m fine now.”
As if to prove her words, she started walking away. She stopped after a few steps, looking back to him, not saying anything. With a muted curse, he joined her and escorted her home. She didn’t suggest that he came in. He didn’t ask. They parted without a word, both still hurt by what had happened earlier that day. Both too proud to make the first step.
Reasonably sure that she was going to be fine, he visited a couple of cemeteries before returning to his crypt, slaying a few fledglings on his way. Pure habit. Less work for her. That’s when he realized he hadn’t asked her why she had been patrolling in residential neighborhoods instead of her usual hunting places.
* * * * *
Tara’s eyes fell on Willow as soon as she came out of the classroom. Saying a quick goodbye to a classmate, she walked toward the fidgeting redhead, smiling shyly.
“Hi Willow. How are you?”
“Hi Tara. I’m just fine. You?”
“Good.”
They observed each other in silence for a few seconds, the tension becoming almost palpable. They had made small talk at the wedding, and even danced together. Just one dance, and with reasonable distance between them. Still, it had been nice.
“You wanna go for coffee?” Willow asked finally, a light of hope shining in her eyes.
“I’d love to,” Tara answered with a smile.
The coffee turned into two, and two hours later they were still talking.
“Oh remember what I told you about Angel’s call?”
Tara nodded, taking a sip.
“He was right,” the redhead continued. “I confronted Spike about using the Sire thing to control Buffy, and he totally denied it, but I know he was lying.”
Frowning, Tara tilted her head. For some weird reason, she kind of liked Spike. Not much, but a little. Knowing what she knew about him and Buffy, she had trouble believing he would do anything to hurt her in any way. Even turning her had been about loving her.
“How are you so sure?”
“He forced Buffy to… well, sleep with him. That’s actually a rape now that I think about it.”
Her eyes widened a little in shock, and she carried on.
“And he also made her invite him to live in the house. Of course after I accused him of controlling her he just ran away, so no Spike in Revello.”
Tara felt very uncomfortable. She had the feeling that he hadn’t forced Buffy to do anything, as he hadn’t forced her before.
“What did Buffy say about it?” she asked.
Willow shook her head sadly. “She says she’s making her decisions herself. She doesn’t even realize he’s manipulating her.”
“What if… What if she is really deciding for herself?”
Tara watched over her cup the incredulous gaze Willow gave her. She wished she could tell her about Buffy’s little secret. But it wasn’t her place to reveal it.
“Tara, it’s Spike!”
“And? He’s been helping her for how long? And even when she wasn’t around he was still helping us. He’s changed. Maybe she has changed too.”
Willow’s mouth opened and closed several times without producing a sound. Tara smiled inwardly, knowing that she had opened a door for Buffy, should she choose to use it.
“If she does have feelings for him, it’s her choice and we have no word to say about it. Right?”
Finally stepping out of her torpor, Willow nodded. “Of course. No judging. But only if it’s really her choice. I still think he is using her.”
Having won half her battle, Tara changed the subject. She had no proof to offer Willow to convince her that Spike wouldn’t try to control the woman he loved. It was only a gut feeling. Yet she knew she was right. She only hoped Buffy would come clear to her friend.
* * * * *
It was the middle of the afternoon and Buffy was washing dishes. She had burned the pancakes earlier that morning, and the pan looked completely ruined. Still, it was her mother’s favorite pan for making pancakes, and she wouldn’t just give up on it. As she rinsed the sponge once more, she felt a vague of dizziness run through her, and closed her eyes instinctively. When she opened them again, the sponge was held by a nurse. She was in the same hospital room she had hallucinated about the night before. She stared at the nurse, not understanding what was going on.
“Be a good girl now Buffy. It’s time for your bath.”
At the same time as the woman touched her, she was back to her kitchen. Dawn was next to her, her hand on her shoulder.
“Hey Buffy, you’re trying to take a bath?”
Snapping out of her trance, Buffy blinked several times, glancing at Dawn’s concerned face before realizing that the sink was full of water and that her arms were in it up to the elbows. She turned off the tap, grabbing a paper towel to dry herself.
“You look weird,” Dawn said, slightly worried. “Are you ok?”
It took a few seconds for the words to make sense.
“I’m fine.”
Then something else registered.
“You’re not mad at me any more?”
The teen’s lips set out in a pout and she crossed her arms.
“Yes I am still mad. But Spike said you got hurt last night and that you were acting funny. Looks like you still are. You sure you feel good?”
Buffy’s first thought that it was nice that her sister cared for her like that. Then she realized what she had said, and frowned.
“When did you see Spike? Grounded, remember? No visiting of his crypt.”
Dawn threw her arms up and walked away, scowling.
“Grow up, Buffy. He’s my friend. I won’t stop seeing him just because you two had a fight.”
A long time after she had climbed up the stairs, Buffy was still staring at the spot where she had disappeared from her view.
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