Long Time Gone

By Yindagger

Chapter Thirty Four

"How are you feeling?" Xander's voice was soft; Spike could barely hear it over the roar of the shower. Xander's warm fingers were scrubbing the blood and dust out of his hair, smoothing it over the contours of his skull with infinite gentleness. Spike shrugged. "Could ask you the same thing," he replied. Xander finished rinsing his lover's hair, and then rested his forehead between Spike's shoulder blades. "Relieved. I feel relieved. It's finally over." He turned so that his cheek rested against Spike's tense back and wrapped his arms around the vampire's narrow waist. "I'm also sorry. I don't know what to say to you. It's got to hurt to lose your sire." Spike barked a bitter laugh. "It does. Now I know how Angel felt when he had to dust Darla."

They stood in silence for long moments, and then Spike straightened and reversed their positions, bringing Xander under the shower's spray and turning him so they were face to face. The human's brown eyes closed as the water cascaded over his face. Spike took the opportunity to look at him, staring unabashedly. He wondered what the future held for them. He had been telling the truth - Dru's death did hurt him. But what hurt him more was the fear he felt in the pit of his belly - the fear that with his vendetta completed, Xander might decide to return home and leave him. Xander's eyes opened, and he looked at Spike for a moment with a sad smile. He then leaned in and kissed the vampire sweetly. They clung together until the water started to cool, and then exited the shower together.

Xander stood on one leg to dry the opposite foot. His balance faltered and Spike steadied him. "You look pale, pet," he observed. "I think I took too much blood from you back in the warehouse." Xander smiled. "I'm a little faded, but I'll be OK. I know Angel and Buffy's blood probably did more for you, but it was important to me that you have mine, too." Spike walked Xander into the bedroom and pushed him down to sit on the bed. He used the bath towel to gently dry Xander's hair, and then knelt between the human's feet, looking up into his eyes. "That little bit of your blood did more for me than a gallon of sire's blood or Slayer's blood, Xander."

Xander smiled and raised one hand to trace over the spot on Spike's neck that he'd bitten previously. "I'm sorry my mark couldn't stay," he said wistfully. Spike's eyes widened. "You'd want it to?" Xander rubbed the spot harder, but didn't answer. He leaned down and bit the spot gently, digging his teeth in harder when Spike groaned. Xander's hand reached blindly for Spike's and brought it between the human's legs to press against his erection. "I want you," Xander hissed, and cool fingers curled around him and began to slide up and down. Spike rose to his feet and pushed his lover back on the bed, never breaking contact, and coming to rest beside him against the pillows.

Xander shifted onto his side and pulled Spike close, bringing their lengths into contact. They started to move in a gentle rhythm. Xander curled his hands into Spike's hair and brought their mouths together in a deep kiss. Their tongues moved at the same pace as their hips, and their groans and whimpers escalated. Xander pulled his lips from Spike's to drag in necessary breaths. He tilted the vampire's head to one side, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses to the pale column of his neck, following up with tiny nips to sensitive spots.

Spike's hands roamed Xander's warm back, pressing into firm muscle and gliding across sweat-slick skin. A million words were running through his mind; some of them even made sense. He wanted to open his mouth and pour them out, but was afraid that if he started talking he'd never stop. He wanted to tell Xander what he was feeling; to articulate and catalogue every sensation the human was causing in his body. Lust, fear, hope and love broke over him like waves each cresting and receding, pulling him between them. Finally, he gave up and let his mind drift in the maelstrom of emotions as he dragged Xander's mouth to his and crushed them together, snaking one hand between their bodies to encircle both of their erections and pump them in a rough rhythm.

Xander felt himself ready to come much too soon and broke the kiss to try and catch his breath. Spike was also close to orgasm, so he refused to let the pace slacken. When Xander started to gasp, Spike turned his head to one side, again baring his neck to his lover. Xander licked a long, wet line up the pale length and then whispered "together" into Spike's ear. Spike nodded, slipping into game face. They each bit deeply into the other's neck, pushing them over the edge into release.

Spike was careful to take only a tiny amount of blood from Xander, but let the human drink deeply from him for a moment. They lay quietly together, fingers tracing idle circles on muscled backs and through damp hair, listening to the sounds of nighttime that filtered in through the open window. Finally, Xander shifted to retrieve the towel and cleaned them both up, wiping away semen and blood. He balled up the towel and flung it toward the bathroom, then ran his fingers gently over Spike's cheekbone. The vampire turned his face to the side and kissed the warm hand. His voice was muffled as he asked, "What's next, Xan?"

Xander turned onto his back and placed one hand behind his head. With the other hand, he drew Spike's head down onto his shoulder. "Well," he began, haltingly. "I need to ask you another favor, Will." Before he could stop it, the word "anything" slipped out of Spike's mouth. Xander hugged the slightly smaller form to him and laughed. "Don't say that until I ask - you might get yourself into trouble." Spike raised his head to smile at Xander. "That's where I stay, mate. What is it?"

"I want you to come back to Atlanta with me," he said. When Spike's eyes widened, he added, "you and Angel and Buffy. I need to fulfill a promise." At Spike's quizzical look, he explained, "I promised Shari's father that I would find the person who killed her and Lex and make them pay. I thought it only right that the three of you should come with me. I think that it will give him and her mother some peace." Spike simply nodded, then laid his head back onto Xander's shoulder.

Xander's stomach growled loudly, and Spike laughed. He rolled out of the bed, dragging Xander with him. The two men crouched naked on the floor, digging through the duffel bags they had neglected to unpack in their hurried arrival. They each found boxers and t-shirts and pulled them on. "What's this?" Spike said, snagging the corner of a wrapped box he spied poking out of Xander's bag. Xander smiled nervously. "That? Oh, it's a present." Spike lifted an eyebrow. "For me?" Xander reached out and ran a finger over the plain blue paper. He cleared his throat, and then simply gestured for the vampire to open the package. Spike ripped the paper and opened the box. He pulled out a v-necked, pale grey silk t-shirt. He pulled it out of the box and rubbed the soft fabric against his face.

He looked more closely at it, and then looked at his lover. "Um, Xan - this is nice, but it isn't my size." The human reached out to touch the fabric lightly and took a shuddering breath. "It's for me," he whispered. Spike looked from the shirt to Xander and back again, not getting it. He looked at the shirt. The grey shirt. The grey and not black shirt. "Oh," he said. "Oh," Xander repeated, looking down at the carpet. Spike gently draped the shirt over Xander's shoulder and rubbed his hand over it. He waited until their eyes met, and said, "When you're ready, luv, when you're ready." Xander stood and folded the shirt and placed it on the dresser. He reached down and pulled Spike to his feet, kissing him lightly on the lips. Yet another loud growl from Xander's stomach sent them down to the kitchen for a snack.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Spike kicked the back of Buffy's seat one last time, and then ducked the magazine that was tossed at him over its high back. Leaning forward, he reached between the seats and pulled her ponytail. She popped up onto her knees in the seat and glared at him. "Why aren't you asleep?" she whispered, glancing pointedly at Xander, who was sleeping peacefully in his fully reclined seat with a cashmere throw draped over him. Angel was asleep in his seat also. "Wired," Spike explained. She smiled, "Me, too." Spike stood up from his seat and gestured to the other side of the small private jet they'd chartered for the flight, where two seats stood opposite a small table. The chairs were made of cream-colored leather and the shade of lamp attached to the table was Tiffany glass. As they slid into the comfortable chairs, the door to the cabin opened and a steward entered.

By the blue tone of the demon's skin, not to mention the short horns on its forehead, Spike knew it was a Mithrasil. The race was known to be mildly prescient, so it figured that they would be useful in service industries - they'd pretty much always know when you were ready to order, if not what. The steward bustled to the back of the cabin to access the small kitchen, and then returned with cups of coffee for both of them, pointedly announcing, "Decaf," as he placed them on the table. Spike snorted and reached for the sugar, while Buffy poured enough cream into hers to make it light brown. They sipped in silence for a moment.

"You love him," Buffy stated baldly, watching Spike over the rim of her cup. He nodded, looking across the aisle at Xander's sleeping form. When his eyes met hers again, she asked, "Does he love you?" Spike smiled, and it was a pure, open smile, with no guile or smugness in it. "He will." She nodded. "That's good," she said. "I think it's your natural state - both of you - being in love." At Spike's open-mouthed look she smirked. "What, I can't be insightful?" He closed his mouth and then took another sip of his coffee. "I never said you couldn't, Slayer, but it still gives me the wiggins, to quote you - and him." They shared a smile.

They sipped quietly for a few moments, and then Buffy said, "You know, Dawn and Jase are going to try to have a sibling for Sara." She blinked as the brilliant smile lit up the vampire's face again. "That's great," he said. "When are you and Angel going to make a baby?" She spluttered, "Us? We can't … vampire …" He laughed softly. "Well, I was thinking that with Red in town, you could get her to invoke the mojo and actually make one." Her eyes widened. "You mean, like, in the kitchen with the herbs and chanting and the mortar and pestle kind of making?" He nodded. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She tried again. "I don't know if he wants … if we're ready … um … I have to think about that, a lot." She grimaced at Spike. "Now I'll never get to sleep." He sipped his coffee and grinned. The steward reappeared and started clearing their cups, telling them to return to their seats for the descent into Atlanta.

Xander flopped backward onto the king-sized bed as Spike pressed a bill into the bellhop's hand and slammed the door behind him. The vampire noted that his lover had already kicked off his shoes and untucked his black shirt so that it rode up over his lean belly. Xander had one forearm draped over his eyes as he sprawled bonelessly on the huge bed amid a dozen throw pillows. "I'm really digging the whole you being rich thing, Spike," he said. "Does that make me shallow?" Spike kicked off his boots, stripped off his sweater and joined his lover on the bed, mimicking his pose. "I dunno. Would it make you feel any better if I told you that Angel is paying?" Xander rolled onto his side to gape at Spike, who peeked out from under his forearm, blue eyes twinkling merrily. "You made him pay? For the flight and the hotel? Classic," he pronounced. "Limo, too," Spike reminded him, and Xander flopped back down on the bed, giggling. "Let's order a whole shitload of room service, then." He reached for the phone.

"OK, you win - that's grosser than me dipping French fries in my milkshake," Xander conceded, watching Spike eat a slice of apple pie drenched in blood. "What?" the vampire replied, "It's All-American, innit?" Xander merely shuddered. Spike happily munched his pie and watched Xander alternately eat bites of chocolate mousse and key lime pie, sometimes mixing the two together before shoving the whole green and brown spoonful into his mouth. Reaching over, the vampire snared the maraschino cherry that decorated the dollop of whipped cream topping the mousse. Xander deftly snatched it out of his hand and popped it into his mouth, stem and all. He chewed happily, and then smiled at Spike's outraged look. "Mine," he explained. "'Sides, I have to show you my one and only bar trick." Spike watched as Xander contorted his face for a couple of minutes, and then grinned broadly when the human stuck out on his tongue. The cherry stem rested there, tied in a neat knot. Spike swooped in and kissed Xander, and then broke the kiss to spit the knotted cherry stem across the room.

They fell back onto the bed; travel-weary and full, happy to simply lay side-by-side, hands lightly touching. Spike was loath to break the mood, but needed to ask Xander a question. Rubbing his hand lightly up the human's tanned arm, he looked up at the ceiling and asked, "How do you want me to play this with your in-laws, Xan?" Xander covered Spike's hand with his own and pressed down. "I'm thinking partial truth. I'll just introduce you and Angel and Buffy as my friends and leave it at that. It's not really any of their business, and it would be cruel to rub their faces in it." Spike remained quiet for a moment, and then spoke. "Which d'you think would bother them more, that you've got somebody new, or that the somebody is male?" Xander leaned his head against Spike's shoulder. "I dunno," he sighed. "Does it matter?" He shrugged, and then turned to lay a light kiss on the vampire's neck.

"So, you're saying I've got you?" he asked. Spike's eyes opened sleepily. "Huh?" Xander met his eyes. "You said I've got somebody new. That's you. So I've got you, right?" Spike's eyes closed and he sighed. "Do we have to be all soft and fluffy and talk about feelings now?" he mock-whined. Xander lightly bumped their heads together. "Yes," he laughed. "Yes, we do - my soft and fluffy little heart needs it. Spill." Spike hauled himself up on one elbow so he could look down into Xander's face. "You had me at 'hello'," he quoted. Xander giggled. "Except I never said 'hello'. You opened the door before I could knock and you growled at me and I said 'Spike, it's me, Xander.'"

"That's true," Spike conceded. "Actually, Xan, you had me from the moment you told me that you burned for me - in my kitchen, against the refrigerator. You've got me - as much as you want for as long as you want." He watched as Xander's eyes darkened, and heard the human's heartbeat speed up slightly. "That was hot," he rasped, tongue darting out to moisten suddenly dry lips as he savored the memory of the kiss. "Stopping you was so hard; I didn't want to, but I needed to." Spike nodded. "I know, pet, I understood. Besides, you were worth waiting for. That fluffy enough for ya?" Xander's smile softened and the bright flare of lust mellowed. He leaned up and placed a soft kiss on Spike's cheek, then rubbed his own cheek over the spot he'd just kissed. They both shifted their weight so that they could wrap their arms around one another, with Xander lying half on top of Spike, their faces still pressed together.

With cool fingers carding through his hair, Xander tried to put a name to the way he was feeling. Safe came to mind, and warm, and loved, but none of those words seemed to cover the entire concept. He tightened his arms a little more, and smiled at the answering pressure from Spike's. Home, he thought. I'm home. Not Atlanta - Spike. Glancing at the window to make sure the blackout drapes were in place, Spike flipped the corner of the bedspread up to cover them and drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Thirty-Six

The limousine prowled slowly through the cemetery. In the gathering twilight, the tombstones and monuments cast long shadows and the neatly pruned trees reached up into the violet sky. The car stopped, and Xander exited it, slipping carefully out the door to be sure no stray sunlight penetrated the cool sanctuary behind tinted windows. He walked around to the front of the car. The driver's window lowered smoothly and the uniformed chauffeur handed Xander a bunch of Stargazer lilies. Xander nodded and watched as the window slid back into place. He ran a hand through his hair, following it down past his collar, noticing for the first time how long it was getting. He took a deep breath and started up the path.

This cemetery was remarkably well kept. The gravesites were weed-free, and several areas held benches and fountains complete with landscaping designed to provide a discreet retreat for grieving loved ones. Xander walked the path without thinking; not needing to engage his brain at all as his feet took him to the familiar spot. Shari's stone was black, and the interior of the incised words was picked out in a silvery grey. Under her name and dates it simply said, "Adored Daughter, Beloved Wife, Loving Mother, Cherished Friend." Leaning against it was a smaller stone. It was gray, and simply said "Lex". Xander had had it custom-made - the name was in Shari's precise, flowing script.

A small bouquet of spring flowers rested on the grave. It was tied with a ribbon and had a glass vial around the stems to hold water. Next to it rested a toy train. Xander knew that these were from Shari's parents. A vase attached to the base of the stone held slightly faded lilies identical to the ones Xander had brought. He had a standing order for their weekly delivery. He removed the blossoms and replaced them with the ones he carried. He sat cross-legged on the soft grass and laid his hand on the front of Lex's marker, tracing the whorls of his name. He slowly moved his hand to Shari's stone and traced the word "wife" in the inscription.

Xander remembered the many days he'd sat in this exact place and traced the carved words on both stones again and again, unable to do more than stare at them and cry. His heart was heavy, but his eyes were dry, his expression resolved. "I got her, honey," he whispered. "I got the one who took you from me." He paused, then dropped his hands into his lap and looked up at her name. "I got something else, too - something I never expected. I got some old friends back. They aren't a substitute for you, just more people to love." He drew in a shaky breath and smiled at the monument. "Back when we were dating and I would get jealous of your male friends, you'd always tell me that love doesn't divide - it multiplies. Well, I finally got it. Letting myself love Buffy and Willow and Dawn and Cordelia again made me understand, and it's helped me so much."

He picked up the toy train and played with it absently as he spoke. "I miss you, Shari, and I miss Lex. I miss our life. For a while there, I didn't think I was going to make it. When I went to Sunnydale, I really didn't care if I lived or died, as long as I got Dru." His hands clenched as he remembered his fury upon seeing her standing over Spike with the stake. "And I got her - killed her with my own hands and watched her dust fall. For a minute, when she died, you and Lex were all I could think of. For one perfect second, the two of you were with me. Then you were gone, and Buffy and Angel and Spike were with me. You would have liked them. You and Buffy would have talked fashion and ass-kicking, and you and Angel could have discussed poetry." He paused and wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his hand. "You and Spike - I could see the two of you drinking beer and arguing about, well, anything. He would have given you a run for your money in the smart remarks department. You and Dawn could've talked babies, and you would even have liked Cordy - probably taken her down a few pegs, too, when she needed it. And Willow - God, you'd have loved Willow."

Xander's shoulders slumped, and he put the toy train down reverently by Lex's marker. "I'm so sorry, honey. I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you things, that I hid such a big part of my life from you. I just wanted to have a normal life. I just wanted you and our son to have one, too. I should have known better. I always prided myself on not keeping secrets, on always showing my true face, but that was a lie. I should have told you. I should have trusted you enough, and I'm sorry I didn't." He sighed and rose to his knees. "I'm not going to make that mistake again, Shari. I have a chance to have something extraordinary with Spike, with Will, and I'm going to do my best to make it good. I think he and I can be good together." He stood and placed his hand on the top of the gravestone. "I won't ever stop loving you and Lex. Never. If you can see me or hear me, I hope I can make you as proud as you always made me." He stood quietly for a moment, and then turned back to the manicured path. As he turned the corner, he could see the dark limousine and the figure standing by the door. Spike had worn dark trousers and a light sweater under a three-quarter-length leather jacket, and he stood with his hands in his pockets staring up the hill, looking for Xander.

Xander thought he looked beautiful in the moonlight, his pale hair and skin glowing against the dark leather of his coat. He walked slowly down the hill and stopped in front of the vampire. "You OK, luv?" Spike asked. Xander nodded, and then leaned forward to place a soft kiss on his lips. "Yeah," he said, "I'm OK." They shared a smile, and then climbed into the car to join Angel and Buffy.

The driver wound his way expertly through the residential area. Buffy reached into the limousine's refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of water, passing one to Xander, who nodded gratefully. "You don't think the limo's going to be too much?" she asked, her nose wrinkling. The car pulled up to a large gated lot and the driver stopped to speak into an intercom box. The gates slid open and the car moved up the driveway. Xander looked up at the large, dramatically lit house they were approaching and told Buffy, "Nope." Her mouth dropped open and she replied, "I guess not." The house was modern in style, and its white walls gleamed, details picked out by small spotlights from the lawn. The lawn itself was manicured and beautifully landscaped. The car pulled into the circular drive and the driver got out to open the door. Xander squeezed Spike's hand once and climbed out.

As soon as his feet hit the ground, the front door of the house opened and a petite Japanese woman skipped lightly down the shallow stairs. She ran to Xander and threw her arms around him. Spike could hear her repeating his name softly as she clung to his much larger frame. A medium sized Japanese man came down the stairs at a more sedate pace, but he, too, was beaming at Xander. Spike, Angel and Buffy stood back as he approached the group. Xander set the woman down on her feet, but she refused to let go of one of his hands, wrapping both of her small ones around it. Xander and the man shook hands, and at his father-in-law's serious look, Xander nodded. The older woman caught the exchange and gasped, raising one hand to cover her mouth. She then lifted Xander's hand to her face and pressed it against her cheek. Her eyes were full of tears. Xander raised his other hand to cup her cheek and smiled at her sadly.

The others watched the exchange with grave expressions on their faces, and Buffy reached out to place one hand on the back of each vampire. They both moved a step closer to her. At their slight movement, Xander turned. "Let's go inside," he said, "we can do the introductions there." They all walked to the door, and Xander made a point of inviting them in by name. As they entered, Buffy, Angel and Spike looked around curiously at the house, which was decorated in a combination of contemporary pieces and Asian antiques. In the large foyer, Xander made a sweeping gesture toward his friends. He smiled at his parents-in-law. "Mama Lily, Lee - these are my friends. This is Angel, and Buffy and William." Everyone shook hands, and Angel and Spike noticed that Lee looked at both of them very carefully before shaking their hands and nodding. Buffy was surprised to note that while Lee still had a trace of a Japanese accent, Lily's was pure Southern. She shook her head a little and smiled when Lily invited them into the kitchen, addressing the entire group as "y'all".

Once they were all seated around the kitchen table with glasses of iced tea, Lee surprised his guests by looking at Xander closely and asking softly, "You killed the one who took Shari and Lex, yes?" Xander met his eyes and nodded. "Yes. My friends helped me." Lee stared at Xander for another long moment, and then nodded sharply. "Good," he said. He looked at the other three in turn, each for a long moment. Still looking into Spike's eyes, he asked, "You love him, yes?" All three nodded. Lee jerked his head in a short nod again, and then looked at Xander with a grin. "You hungry, Xan?" Xander nodded enthusiastically, and everyone except Lily rolled their eyes. She jumped up, and moments later placed an elaborate tray of delicate sushi on the table, passing around chopsticks.

They dug in, and after a few moments they were all talking and laughing. Spike noticed the care with which the older couple treated Xander. It was obvious that they loved him as their son. He basked in their attention, like a child who'd brought home a perfect report card receiving praise. However, he didn't leave his friends out of the warm circle he shared with his family. He got Lily and Angel started on a conversation about literature, and soon had Lee showing Buffy the long shelf of obscure kitchen implements that decorated the kitchen. Xander leaned back in his chair and expertly swept up a tuna roll with his chopsticks and popped it into his mouth. Spike turned to face him. "They're very nice," the vampire said, "I like them." Xander swallowed his mouthful and grinned. "They're awesome - like the parents I always wanted and never had." Spike nodded, and then his expression turned sad. "Will you stay with them when you move back home?" he asked, looking down. Xander's smile broadened and he leaned in closer, so his lips were only an inch away from Spike's ear. "No," he said simply, and leaned back. Spike shivered at the sensation of Xander's warm breath in his ear, and looked up to find the human sitting back in his chair, grinning at him. He opened his mouth to ask another question, but was cut off when the others moved back to the table.

The conversation ebbed and flowed. Lee and Lily never asked for details about Drusilla, and the others never offered them. Over the course of the evening, Lily had deftly managed to separate Angel, Buffy and Spike from the group in turn and express her gratitude with simple words and a fierce hug. Finally, she excused herself from the group, pleading exhaustion. Xander hugged her tenderly and kissed her soft cheek. "I love you, Mama," he whispered against her silky black hair that was so much like Shari's. Over her shoulder he caught Buffy's gaze, and could see the tears that welled up in her eyes. Turning, Lily also saw them, and she walked to the Slayer's side and pulled her into a gentle hug. Buffy hugged the tiny woman back, and then watched as she walked up the stairs. Angel rubbed her back soothingly and dropped a kiss on her temple while she wiped her eyes.

Lee returned to the group and ushered them into a beautifully decorated study. They ranged themselves across two leather couches, and Lee poured them all brandies. He sat in a wing chair across from them and looked down into his glass as he swirled the amber liquid. He took a short sip, and then turned to Xander. "Son," he said, "I owe you much gratitude. I won't ask for details, but I need to know that there won't be any legal ramifications for all of you, regarding Shari's killer." Xander reached out and laid his hand on his father-in-law's knee. "It's all taken care of, Lee. You don't have to worry about us." Lee smiled and relaxed. He turned his gaze to the others in turn. "I owe each of you a debt of gratitude; you are all welcome in my home at any time." He sighed, and then looked at Xander again. "You aren't coming back here, are you, Xan?" he asked. "Not to stay." Xander's smile was sad. "No, Lee. My plan is to stay in California for a while, if my friends will have me." He felt Spike lay one hand flat on his back, and leaned into the contact slightly. Lee nodded. "Then I have no doubt that you will be well cared for," he said.

They all relaxed and finished their brandies. Xander announced their intention to leave, and Buffy herded Angel and Spike outside after the men exchanged handshakes and she hugged Lee hard. Once they were alone, Lee turned to Xander and smiled gently. "We will miss you, Xan," he said. "I hope that you are able to find some happiness in California. If you ever need us …" His voice trailed off into silence. Xander hugged the smaller man to him briefly. "I will, Lee. I'll always need you. I'll miss you both." Lee ushered him to the door and stood watching as the limousine pulled away.

Inside the car, all was quiet. Buffy sat in the shelter of Angel's arms, and Xander and Spike sat side by side, shoulders touching. The driver pulled up at the hotel and opened the door. They filed out of the car and entered the elevator in silence. Angel turned to Xander. "When do you want to go back?" he asked. Xander looked at him thoughtfully. "Tomorrow night is fine - I'm done here," he said. Angel nodded, and he and Buffy exited the elevator on their floor. At their own floor, Spike and Xander got off the elevator and walked slowly to the door of their suite. Xander unlocked it and ushered the vampire inside.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Spike walked over to the window and pulled the heavy drapes aside, allowing moonlight to spill into the room. Xander crossed the room to him and wrapped his arms around the vampire's narrow waist, hooking his chin over one shoulder. Spike leaned back into the embrace and sighed. "I'm glad you're coming back with us, Xan. I was afraid you wouldn't want to." Xander hugged him tighter and kissed the side of his neck. "I knew you were worried. Don't be." He turned Spike around in his arms and looked into his eyes. "I want to tell you something. You know earlier, when we had the conversation about me having you from 'hello'?" Spike nodded. Xander smiled at him and resumed speaking. "I'm going to tell you when you had me, OK?" He laughed when Spike smiled and nodded eagerly.

"You had me from the moment you came out from behind your desk in your study and looked me in the eye and told me that your work could wait; that you wanted to be with me." They shared a soft smile at the memory. "Will," Xander said, "you have no idea how much that meant to me. After Shari and Lex died, nobody wanted to be with me. Well, OK," he said, at Spike's stormy expression, "maybe they wanted to, but nobody knew how to be with me. It was too uncomfortable; no one knew what to say or not to say." Xander's smile faltered at the memories of that terrible time. "But you, Will, you didn't care about all that; you just wanted to be with me. And that's the moment when my heart opened up just a little and you started squeezing yourself in there." Xander closed the distance between their lips with a gentle kiss. He pulled back enough so he could look into Spike's eyes. "So, tonight," he said, "I want to be with you. I want you in my arms and in my heart. Can I make love to you, Will? Will you have me?" Spike returned the serious look, and then his face softened into a beautiful smile. Just before their lips touched, he whispered a single word, "always."

The kiss started off gently, and Spike followed his lover's lead, understanding that this was an enormous step for Xander. Soon, the human couldn't stop himself from deepening the kiss, twisting his hands into Spike's hair and licking impatiently at his lips, begging entry. Spike gladly granted it, and dug his fingers into the bunched muscles of Xander's shoulders. Standing by the window, silhouetted by moonlight, they kissed until Xander was gasping for breath. Separating their mouths reluctantly, Xander panted as he slipped Spike's leather jacket down his arms and off, tossing it over the back of the sofa. The vampire reciprocated, stripping Xander's black sportcoat from him. Shirts were next, and they each kicked off their own shoes and socks. Xander pulled Spike to him, and reveled in the feel of cool flesh against his own hot chest. His hands circled on Spike's back and trailed up and down taut, muscular arms. The vampire shivered as hot fingers traced random patterns on the sensitive flesh of his sides.

Xander lifted one of Spike's hands to his mouth and kissed the base of his thumb, then trailed soft kisses up to the pad. He kissed his way back down the thumb, and then repeated the process with the vampire's index finger. Reaching the tip, he engulfed the digit in his mouth and sucked strongly. Spike gasped, and his eyes twinkled in the moonlight. Xander released the finger with a tiny nip. He placed his lips at Spike's wrist and ran his tongue down the delicate veins, tracing them to the crook of the elbow. He closed his lips on the sensitive skin there and sucked again. The vampire's arm straightened involuntarily, but Xander didn't release his hold. He pulled back slightly, and then bit down. Spike's body went rigid and a low growl started in his chest. Xander bit him again, and then licked his way up to his lover's shoulder.

Spike threw his head back and panted when the warm tip of Xander's tongue began exploring his collarbone, sliding and teasing the hollow there, teeth grazing the arch of bone. Xander slid his lips across Spike's chest, stopping to dip his tongue in the inviting indentation at the base of the vampire's throat, and then continuing on to the other collarbone and down the arm, giving it the same treatment as its twin. By the time Xander completed his journey at the base of Spike's thumb, the vampire was trembling with need. He was so hard that Xander could see the tip of his erection peeking from the waistband of his pants, and the pants themselves bore a spreading stain of moisture. Xander placed Spike's hand at his side and reached into his waistband with the tips of two fingers, sliding them across the crown of Spike's cock and sweeping up a little of the fluid there. He licked his fingers and smiled at his lover.

Spike groaned at the sight of Xander, his pink tongue lightly touching the tips of his fingers, gazing at Spike, brown eyes glittering through his long, dark lashes. The human took a small step backward and reached between them to unbutton Spike's trousers. He slowly lowered the zipper, then reached inside and curled his fingers around Spike's cock. He simply held it, and then squeezed gently, marveling when the flesh surged against his hand. He pushed Spike's trousers off his hips and the vampire stepped out of them and kicked them away.

Xander stepped back and looked at Spike, standing naked in the moonlight. "You're beautiful," he said, his voice husky. Spike smiled and said, "Take off your pants." Xander laughed, and said, "Oooooh, romance," but his fingers moved to the button of his trousers. He flicked it open, and then lowered the zipper. He let the pants fall to the floor and stepped out of them. Spike's eyebrow rose when he realized Xander wasn't wearing underwear, and the human smirked. Spike stepped forward, and Xander laid his hand flat on the cool chest before him to hold the vampire in place before their bodies touched. He leaned down and brushed his lips lightly against the shell of Spike's ear. "I'm going to fuck you tonight, Will," he said. Xander swallowed audibly, hardly believing that these words were coming out of his mouth. He pushed the embarrassment away and concentrated on the waves of arousal that were breaking over him. "I'm going to spread you open and push my way inside you. I'm going to fill you up with me, and then I'm going to slide in and out of your tight body so slowly. And, maybe then, if you ask nicely - or maybe if you beg nicely - I'm going to speed up, and I'm going to fuck you through the mattress and make you scream."

Both men were shaking with arousal, and Xander was pleased to note that Spike was panting as hard as he was. He licked the vampire's ear and smiled when Spike groaned. Xander traced the lobe with his tongue, then sucked it into his mouth and nipped it lightly with his teeth. He pulled his mouth away again. "But, before that, Will, I'm going to make you come." Spike shook his head, and raised his lips to Xander's ear. "No, luv, wanna come with you inside me," he protested. Xander chuckled, "Oh, you will, baby, you will. But I want this to last a long time, and if I fuck you right now, it'll be about thirty seconds, so I'm going to get you off, and you're going to get me off, and then we'll move this into the bedroom for the main event, OK?" Xander felt the vampire nod against his neck and heard him say, "OK."

"Good," Xander continued. "Now, a question. How do you want me to make you come? You can have anything you want." Spike rubbed his forehead against Xander's shoulder for a moment, thinking. He licked a long, wet line up the side of Xander's warm neck, and then whispered in his ear, "Want you on your knees, pet. I want to fuck your mouth and come on your face, and then I want to lick you clean." Xander gasped, and a shudder ran through him, but he nodded enthusiastically. "But, before that," Spike continued, "I want to watch you get yourself off." Spike knew that he was kind of taking charge, but Xander had asked, and he was, after all, a dominant creature. Besides, Xander's turn would come in the bedroom, and Spike was determined that his time as bottom to the human would be every bit as satisfying as his turn as top.

Xander pushed Spike backward until they came to the sofa. Spike sat down, spreading his legs comfortably, and propping one foot up. Xander held up one finger, and then turned to go into the bedroom. He came out holding a bottle of lubricant and a towel. On his way back to Spike, he grabbed one of the room's wing chairs and dragged it along with him. He placed the chair in front of Spike, laid the towel over its back, and sprawled into it, with one leg draped over the arm of the chair. Spike simply looked at him for a moment. His tanned skin glowed in the faint light, and his eyes were dark and glittering. A small smile played the corners of his mouth. His cock was rock-hard, jutting from its nest of curls and standing straight up against his flat abdomen. Spike could see the shiny trails of fluid it had leaked onto Xander's belly, drops shone along the fine line of dark hair that arrowed under his navel.

A small sigh escaped Spike's lips as Xander's hand came down to stroke himself lightly. Xander stopped, and opened the lubricant, pouring it into his hand. Xander groaned at the slippery sensation and began to stroke in earnest. Spike watched his lover fuck his own fist, mesmerized by the slide and play as the crown of Xander's cock pushed out above his loosely clasped thumb and forefinger. Spike's enhanced vision allowed him to see the spurts of clear fluid that oozed out each time Xander squeezed his responsive flesh. Panting, Xander reached between his spread legs to roll his balls in the palm of his hand, stopping occasionally to tug lightly, and then cupping them against his body. Spike couldn't take his eyes away from Xander's hands, no matter how badly he wanted to see his lover's face.

Xander increased his pace, stripping his cock with rough strokes, incredibly turned on by displaying himself in this way. The only sounds in the room were both men panting and the slide of hand against cock, faster and faster. Finally, Xander could stand it no longer, his hand moved on himself with blinding speed, and low moans were issuing from his throat. He opened his eyes and focused on Spike. The look of pure lust, shot through with love that was on the vampire's face sent him spiraling into his orgasm. "S…Spike!" he gasped, and chanted the name as thick ropes of semen shot onto his chest. He stroked himself as the release tore through him, pulling at his balls and milking the last of his seed from his softening cock. Xander pulled the towel from the back of the chair and wiped himself clean. Spike looked stunned, sitting on the sofa with his cock in his hand and his mouth open in wonder. "You're gorgeous, Xan," he breathed, and got shakily to his feet.

Xander slipped from his chair as the vampire approached him, and knelt on the floor. Spike's cock was so hard it barely bobbed as he walked the few steps between them. Xander smiled up at his lover from his position on the floor, and spread his knees slightly to better brace his position. Spike wound one hand in Xander's hair. He lightly rubbed his fingers against the human's scalp, and then suddenly tightened his grip. When Xander's mouth opened in an involuntary gasp, Spike pushed his cock inside. Xander smiled around the cock in his mouth, then started swirling his tongue around it and dipping his head to moisten the entire length with saliva. Spike's other hand also twisted into his hair, and the cock in his mouth started sliding in and out with a slow, purposeful stroke.

On each stroke, Xander concentrated on breathing through his nose and opening his throat further and further, finally allowing the head of Spike's cock to push against the back of his throat. On Spike's next stroke, Xander swallowed. The vampire groaned at the exquisite sensation of the walls of Xander's throat closing and rippling against the sensitive crown. Xander curled his hands around the backs of Spike's thighs and tightened them, encouraging the vampire to fuck his mouth as hard as he wanted to. Spike didn't need much encouragement. Checking to see that Xander's position was stable, he bent his knees and began to drive his hips backward and forward, sawing his erection in and out of the hot, moist cavern of his lover's mouth. "Gonna come, Xan," he gritted out between clenched teeth as he continued pistoning in and out. Unable to answer, Xander simply dug his fingers into Spike's thighs and opened his throat as widely as he could.

Spike felt his orgasm building, and his first instinct was to simply spill himself into the hot, tight throat he was fucking. But he really did want to come on Xander's face. He wanted to see his lover on his knees, looking up with Spike's essence clinging to his skin. That thought sent the vampire spiraling out of control, and he felt his orgasm ready to burst from him. He pulled out of Xander's mouth and wrapped one hand around his cock. The first burst of come splashed against Xander's cheek, the next near his temple. More landed on his neck and chest. As soon as he could think again, Spike placed his fingers under Xander's chin and raised the human's face. Xander's eyes were glittering black in the pale moonlight, and the semen on his face was white against his tanned skin. Spike marveled at the sight before him for a moment. Xander's face showed no humiliation or fear, merely satisfaction at pleasing his lover. Spike smiled when Xander leaned forward to place his reddened, bruised lips around the head of the vampire's cock. He sucked hard once, then let go and smiled when Spike howled at the pressure on his sensitive flesh.

Spike dropped to his knees in front of Xander and kissed him lightly on the lips. He then kissed him all over his face, licking up the sticky drops that decorated a dark eyebrow and clung to the hollow below one cheekbone. Spike carefully covered Xander's face in kisses and small licks until it was clean, and then moved to his neck and chest. By the time no more traces of semen remained on his body, Xander was again rock-hard. He climbed to his feet and pulled Spike up beside him. Grabbing the bottle of lubricant from the chair, he led his vampire into the bedroom.

Standing next to the bed, Xander dipped his head and captured Spike's lips with his own. It was a bruising kiss, rough with passion. Spike gave back as good as he got and raised his hands to his lover's chest to pinch and pull sharply at his nipples. Xander hissed at the combination of pleasure and pain and raked his nails down the vampire's back. When his hands reached Spike's ass, Xander slammed their lower bodies together. They were both completely hard again, and Xander thrust against Spike's hip. They broke the kiss so the human could catch his breath and climbed onto the bed, falling into each other's arms.

Xander rolled them so that he was on top of Spike. He leaned down and bit and sucked at the pale throat below him. Spike tangled his hands in Xander's hair and pulled him closer, turning his head to one side with a moan. Xander kissed his way down to Spike's chest and teased his pebbled nipples with tongue and teeth. He continued downward, licking and nipping, until he reached Spike's hips. Suddenly, he sank his teeth into the flesh there, just beside the jut of a hipbone. Spike was sure that only the back of his head and his heels remained on the bed as he arched up. Xander nibbled his way around Spike's hip and up his side.

"Oh God, I want to be inside you, baby," Xander panted. "Want to feel you all around me, holding me, squeezing me. Want to pound into you, make you scream." Spike said, "Oh, fuck yeah, Xan," and pressed the bottle of lube into his hand. Propping himself up on one elbow over Spike's body, Xander deftly flipped the cap and poured lube into his palm using his free hand. Recapping the bottle, he tossed it onto the unused pillow. He rubbed the gel between his fingers and said, "You're gonna like this, Spike. I picked it up when we stopped on the way to the airport." As he finished speaking, he snaked his hand between them and circled Spike's hole with one finger. Spike jumped slightly at the coolness of the lube, and then moaned as he felt the gel warming. Xander laughed. "I think they invented this for vamps - self-warming."

He pressed his finger against the opening to Spike's body, and they both hissed as the tip slid inside. "Jesus, Spike, you're so tight. I don't want to hurt you." Spike shook his head and kissed Xander. "Can't hurt me, luv. It's just that I got turned a virgin, so that's the way I stay." Xander groaned at the implications of that little tidbit and slid his finger the rest of the way in. He remembered stretching himself for Spike, and thought that the vampire felt different inside. He was just as soft, and the muscles clenched and fluttered just like his own, but he was cooler, with none of the searing heat of the human body. Xander paused until he felt Spike pushing down against the intruding digit, then he began to slide it in and out, slowly.

Spike spread his legs wider, and Xander took that as encouragement, pulling his finger out and pressing two back inside. The vampire's head was rolling on the pillow, and he was pushing himself down on Xander's hand. It had been decades since he'd bottomed, and he couldn't wait for the delicious feeling of being entered and filled. The warmth of the lubricant and the burning of his stretching tissues were making his head spin. Xander turned his hand slightly and crooked his fingers, scratching against Spike's prostate and eliciting a loud howl. As the fingers left him, and then pressed back against his opening again, he said, "No." Xander froze, and then looked down into Spike's glittering eyes questioningly. Spike smiled and kissed his lips lightly. "Don't want you to prepare me too much, Xan. I want to feel your cock stretching me." Xander frowned at him. "But it'll hurt," he protested. Spike's smile widened. "Only in a good way," he assured the human, "the best way."

Xander smiled back and began sliding down Spike's body again. "Hey," the vampire said, "where are you going?" The voice was muffled against Spike's stomach, "Going to go play, back soon." His exasperated sigh turned into a gasp of pleasure when he felt Xander's mouth on his balls, licking long, hot strokes over the flesh there. Xander took one, then the other into his mouth and sucked on them. Stretching his lips, he took them both in and sucked hard. "Oh, fucking hell that's good, sweetheart," Spike babbled, and Xander smiled at the endearment, letting Spike's balls slide out of his mouth. He licked his way back up to Spike's mouth, and then asked, "Are you ready for this?" Spike's answer was to smooth a handful of lubricant over Xander's cock and rub it in until the gel began heating. "In me. Now," he instructed.

Xander pushed himself up on his knees between Spike's spread legs and pushed one of his lover's knees back and maneuvered the other to curve around his waist. He lined himself up at Spike's opening and took a deep breath to regain control. All he could think about was slamming his cock into the tight, cool channel before him, and he was terrified that he was going to come before he even got all the way in. The feel of Spike's body clenching around his fingers had driven him close to the edge. Taking one more deep breath, he slowly drove himself into Spike until his balls slapped against the vampire's ass. Fully sheathed, he held perfectly still, looking down into Spike's face.

As he was breached, Spike thought he'd never felt anything so good. Pleasure and pain, never terribly far apart for a vampire anyway, coalesced into one burning, stretching, sliding, utterly satisfying sensation. He looked up at Xander, hovering over him, and smiled. "So good," he moaned. "Come on, Xan - I thought you were gonna make me scream." Xander kissed him hard on the lips, and then pulled his cock almost all the way out of Spike's body. Just before he could protest the loss, Xander slammed forward, crushing against Spike's prostate, stretching him impossibly wide, filling him impossibly full and then pulling back to do it again. And Spike screamed. And Xander found the word that he screamed very satisfying indeed. "Xander!"

Spike's hands alternately curled in Xander's hair and twisted the sheets, as he bucked and arched beneath him. The human pinned the vampire with his weight and fucked him as hard as he could. He could feel the body under him pulling him back inside every time he slid out, and Spike's other leg came up to wrap around his waist. Spike was chanting his name more quietly now, and Xander was babbling and moaning against his neck as he found a hard, fast rhythm. He wanted to reach between them to give Spike some desperately needed friction, but knew he couldn't keep up the pace with only one hand to brace on.

That problem was solved easily as Spike came, howling into orgasm without his cock having been touched at all. His ass clenched around Xander's cock, and for a moment the human thought he had a chance to avoid coming and make this incredible ride last longer. But, that was not to be - he couldn't hold on through Spike's seemingly endless orgasm, and found himself screaming "Spike!" as he erupted inside his lover's body, shooting spurt after spurt of heat into him.

Finally, they stopped moving, and Xander propped himself up on his hands and looked down into Spike's eyes. "That looks good on you," he panted. Spike looked confused. "What looks good on me?" he asked. "Me," Xander said and kissed him on the tip of the nose.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Looking through the bedroom door, Xander could see Spike. The vampire was sitting cross-legged on the couch. He was fully dressed, drinking a mug of blood and staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the twinkling lights of downtown Atlanta. Xander shook his head. If he'd been fucked the way he'd fucked Spike the night before, sitting cross-legged would be off the menu for several days. He figured that without vampire healing he was probably more sore than Spike was. He snorted and turned back to the suitcase that was lying on the bed, almost completely packed. He placed his shaving kit into a pocket of the case, and then let the towel that was loosely wrapped around his hips fall to the floor. He pulled on a pair of black boxer briefs, socks and jeans. He strode back into the bathroom to comb his hair.

Sitting on the sofa, Spike could hardly believe his good fortune. Xander was going home with him. The previous night, Spike had asked him to stay at the Victorian, offering him his choice of bedrooms. Spike smiled as he remembered the love in Xander's eyes when he'd said that sharing the master bedroom would suit him just fine. Xander had not told Spike that he loved him, but Spike didn't care. He would, in time. He might already, but he wasn't ready to say those words to a lover again, not yet.

As dawn was breaking outside the blackout drapes they had laid in each other's arms and whispered and planned. Xander's employer was flexible, so he could continue working from Sunnydale for the same firm, though Spike had assured him that he had enough money for both of them if the human chose not to work. Spike had suggested that Xander consider opening a Sunnydale branch of his Master's dojo, though he'd said "Alan" and not "Master". Xander's eyes had lit up, and he'd promised to think about it, so Spike was pretty sure that it was a foregone conclusion. He'd reminded Xander that Jase wanted to be trained, and that the Slayers-in-training could always use more skills. Spike smiled broadly remembering the look of wonder and happiness that had crossed Xander's face at the thought of having his own school.

Spike heard a small noise behind him and turned, placing his mug on the end table. Xander stood in the doorway to the bedroom, and Spike smiled at him automatically. His smile faltered at the worried look on the human's face. Spike got to his feet and took a step toward Xander, then stopped in his tracks. Xander was wearing the gray silk t-shirt, and Spike could see him fiddling with his hands. Twisting his rings, Spike thought. He walked to the human's side and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "You look good, Xan," he said softly.

Xander looked up and smiled sadly. "Thanks, Will," he said softly. "We're going home - I thought it was time." Spike nodded. "Whatever you want, luv." They stood quietly for a moment, and Spike looked down when Xander pulled his right hand away from his left. The two platinum bands were gone. The vampire reached down and touched the groove that they had left in the flesh of Xander's finger. "Oh, Xan, are you sure?" he whispered, looking back up. Xander met his eyes. "It's time. It just … hurts." He opened his right hand, and the two rings were lying there in his palm. Spike kissed him softly on the lips, and then carefully took the rings. He turned Xander's right hand over and slipped them onto his ring finger. He twined their hands together, and then looked up into Xander's eyes, awash in tears. The human leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on the lips of his lover, his friend. "Thank you, Will," he said. "Let's go home."

~Fin~