A Fluke Between Two Wiccans

By Spikeme4now

Chapter Five

“So Blondie,” Faith greeted Tara as she took a seat on the grass next to the young witch, “you waiting for Red?”

“Hi Faith,” Tara smiled at the Slayer. “Yeah, I…I’m waiting for the gang so we can head over to the Espresso Pump.”

“Why don’t you just meet ‘em there?”

“Willow said it would be more fun if we could all walk there together…”

“Of course,” Faith grinned slyly, “and you’d do anything Red asked you to…right?”

Tara looked up at the dark-haired Slayer in confusion. “W-what do you m-m-mean by that? W-w-why wouldn’t I do s-s-something for W-W-W-Willow?”

Faith chuckled at Tara’s sudden nervousness, she couldn’t help liking the blonde witch. There was just something so innately honest about her, that Faith felt closer to her than any of the other Scoobies—except for maybe Buffy. She didn’t know why, but a part of her felt kind of protective towards the young witch, maybe it was a Slayer thing.

It might have something to do with how Tara reacted to her, as if she didn’t judge her. Faith wasn’t blind, she knew what the rest of the Scoobies thought of her, knew they looked down on her because of her past, thought she was white trash, as if she wasn’t good enough for them, and if she hadn’t been the Slayer, they probably never would’ve even given her the time of day. Okay, well, maybe Xander would have, but he was a guy, and guys always gave her the time of day…and they gave her exactly what she needed…

Back to Blondie though, Blondie seemed to almost understand where she came from, and she didn’t judge her. It was like who she was in the past, where she came from, didn’t matter. Your past was your past, and all that mattered was the here and now…and for some reason she just knew that Blondie would always tell her where she stood with her. Blondie would never make a play of liking her just to be polite—she hated that. She hated the way the Scoobies all played nice around her because it was ‘the right thing to do.’

Her affection for Blondie didn’t stop Faith from giving her a hard time though. Teasing was good…it was fun, and she loved getting a reaction out of her, loved seeing how much she could push her. Besides, the girl always took her teasing with good humor—even if she did turn beet red at some of the things she said…but Blondie knew she was teasing, knew it was just her way. Tara would have to be the most understanding person she’d ever met, and for someone who made it her job not to trust anyone, Faith couldn’t help feeling as if she could trust Tara.

Yeah, there was definitely something special about Blondie and Faith knew she would do everything she could to make sure no one hurt her, especially Red. Why couldn’t the girl see how crazy Blondie was for her? Red was blind and stupid not to notice the way Blondie looked at her…no one had ever looked at her that way. No, wait, Red wasn’t blind or stupid, she was a goddamned sheep. Red would never acknowledge the notion she could be interested in girls—she had Dog-Boy after all…and she wouldn’t want to do anything to upset her moralistic, self-centered, hypocritically purist social group…would she?

Man, that pissed her off. Here was Blondie, pining away for someone who was too stupid, and too much of a sheep to even give her the time of day. She deserved better, deserved someone who didn’t care what society thought, didn’t care about what was right or wrong…but about what felt right. That was her motto, ‘want, take, have.’ If you wanted something, you just went ahead and took it. Why should you deny yourself anything? Life was short, and if you didn’t take care of Numero Uno, then you were just wasting your time, because no one else would.

“Hey kid,” she grinned at Tara, “I’m not blind, I see the way you look at her…anyone with half a brain would realize you—”

“What?” Tara interrupted, her cheeks burning. “Y-y-you c-c-can t-t-tell? Everyone can t-t-tell I…I…?”

Faith chuckled at Tara’s fear. “Relax Blondie,” she grinned. “I said anyone with half a brain…the Scoobies don’t exactly fit the bill. They’re too caught up in their own self importance to notice what’s going on around them.”

Tara frowned at Faith’s description of her friends. “I don’t think they’re—”

“Relax,” Faith interjected. “I was just teasing, but I really don’t think they’re aware of your little crush.”

Tara blushed again. “But you are?”

“Hey, I notice these things…I notice you,” she flirted, strategically placing a hand on Tara’s knee, and looking into her eyes.

Tara didn’t know how to react to Faith’s sudden come-on. Not that she wasn’t flattered—Faith was definitely one of the hottest girls she’d ever met…but she wasn’t Willow. What’s more, she’d never been good with people, wasn’t used to having someone flirt with her, and Faith’s attention threw her a little.

“I-I-I…” she stammered, searching her mind for something to say…for a way of letting Faith know she wasn’t interested. Nothing came to her however, and all she could do was take a few deep breaths as she looked down at the ground.

“She’s blind you know,” Faith continued, keeping her hand on Tara’s knee. “She’d have to be not to notice your hotness.”

Tara didn’t think it was possible to turn redder than she was already, but at Faith’s words, she could feel her blush deepening even further. What was Faith implying? Why was she flirting with her?

“Look at me Tara,” Faith continued, an idea forming in her head.

Slowly, Tara lifted her gaze, meeting the Slayer’s eyes.

“You’re sweet and hot at the same time,” Faith whispered huskily, moving her hand from Tara’s knee, up to her thigh, “and I bet you’ve never felt what it’s like to taste a woman…to have a woman taste you…and to scream her name at the top of your lungs when you come so hard you feel like your brain’s about to explode?”

Tara merely shook her head, words escaping her for the moment. She couldn’t believe how daring Faith’s words were, how explicit she was being, and she couldn’t help getting turned on by them, just a little. Although, it was Willow’s taste she was fantasizing about, Willow’s lips she wanted to feel between her own legs, and Willow’s name she could imagine screaming as she descended into ecstasy.

Faith smiled as she noticed Tara’s eyes glaze over, knowing her words’d had their desired effect. She wasn’t stupid though, she knew Red was most likely the star of Blondie’s fantasy. Leaning in slowly, she moved her lips to Tara’s ear. “You can see her, can’t you?” she whispered seductively. “See her riding you…tasting you…feel her wetness…her desire…”

Tara closed her eyes as Faith’s words evoked more erotic images in her mind. Suddenly, she realized what she was doing and pulled back in alarm. “Faith,” she said in reproach, her eyes meeting the Slayer’s. “W-what are you doing?”

“Giving you a little taste,” Faith replied, gently squeezing her thigh.

“A taste of what?” Tara asked in confusion.

“You know you can never have her…that she belongs to someone else…”

“I know that Faith,” Tara sighed. “I’m hap-happy just being her friend.”

Faith chuckled at the young girl’s naiveté. “No you’re not,” she told her with a grin. “You’ll never be happy pining away for something you can never have. That’s why I’m offering you the chance to live out your fantasy.”

Tara frowned at the Slayer’s words, becoming more confused than ever. “What do you mean Faith?”

“We all have urges,” Faith said huskily, moving her face closer towards Tara’s, allowing her breath to brush over the young witch’s lips. “We all want things we can never have…fantasize about what it would be like to taste that special someone…to taste their essence on your tongue, to feel their warm wetness surround your fingers as their muscles clench with desire…”

“What are you g-g-getting at Faith?” Tara asked breathlessly, her face burning with both embarrassment and desire. The Slayer’s words had evoked the most erotic images in her mind, and she couldn’t help being turned on by them, by the way the girl’s hand rested seductively against her thigh, the way her breath tingled against her lips. Tara might be a one-woman kind of gal, but she was also human, and when an overly sex-charged, omni-sexual Slayer flirted with her…well, she found it hard to ignore her basic animalistic urges.

“You want her,” Faith leaned in even closer, taking full advantage of Tara’s reaction. “I can see it in your eyes…can smell your need—Slayer senses and all, and I,” she bridged the gap between them and rested her forehead against Tara’s, her lips almost brushing against the blonde’s, “I can see you want me too, want me to please you, to bring you to the edge of insanity…”

Tara closed her eyes when Faith’s lips finally brushed against hers, getting caught up in the moment. The kiss was surprisingly soft, gentle…the Slayer merely teasing her with what she could offer her, using her lips to capture hers tenderly, first the top one and then the bottom one. Faith suckled on it gently for a moment and when she finally felt Tara respond, she pulled away.

“I can give you what you want Tara,” she whispered seductively, making sure to let her lips brush against the blonde’s as she spoke. “I can be whoever you want me to be…” she paused a moment to once again suckle on Tara’s bottom lip, knowing instinctively that the girl liked that. “I can even be your precious Red,” she said as she pulled away, moving her hand from Tara’s outer thigh, to her inner thigh.

Tara’s eyes flew open in shock when she felt the Slayer’s hand so close to her sex…heard her reference to Willow. It was then that she realized what Faith was getting at…realized her own weakness in succumbing to the Slayer’s seduction. How could she have forgotten about Willow? Well, not forgotten about her, but let herself forget that it wasn’t Willow who was touching her. She’d allowed herself to fantasize about the woman she adored as the Slayer had kissed her…spoken spoke her sexy words, and touched her oh so intimately.

This was wrong though, it was cheap. Sure, she knew she didn’t stand a chance with Willow, knew she’d never feel the girl’s lips against her own. But allowing herself to pretend she could, allowing Faith to seduce her into this immoral fantasy…well, it was wrong. It would be so easy to take what Faith was offering, but it wouldn’t be real, it wouldn’t be about love…just sex, and she wanted more than that. She could never simply have sex with someone and she knew that’s all Faith was offering.

She suddenly couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for the Slayer. Faith must be really lonely to feel like she doesn’t deserve to be loved…as if sex is all she could hope for. What happened in this girl’s life to make her feel so dejected, to make her yearn for affection in any way, even at the expense of true love…?

“I’m sorry Faith,” Tara whispered, placing her hand against the Slayer’s—stilling her movement, preventing her from moving closer towards her sex.

“Don’t be sorry,” Faith smiled, “just say yes,” she continued, leaning forward to once again rest her forehead against Tara’s. “You know you want it…”

Tara lifted her other hand and placed it tenderly against Faith’s cheek. “I do want it,” she whispered, moving her head back to look into the brunette’s eyes, “I want you…but you deserve more than just my…my w-w-want…”

Tara’s words confused the Slayer—it wasn’t the reaction she’d been expecting. A moralistic ‘it’s wrong’ she would have understood—even a flat out denial by Blondie of her own desire would’ve been a predictable response. But for Tara to tell her that she did want her, but that she deserved more, well…that just threw her.

“What do you mean I deserve more?” she asked huskily, moving her free hand to Tara’s cheek. “You under-estimate your hotness Blondie,” she continued seductively. “I know you’re inexperienced, but half the fun would be in the teaching…I’m sure I could show you a thing or two about how—”

“That’s n-not what I m-m-mean Faith,” Tara interrupted, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. “I mean you deserve to be l-l-loved…in the truest sense of the word, and I…I d-don’t l-l-love you…I’m sorry…”

“I know that, Cutie,” Faith chuckled. “I don’t love you either…what I’m talking about is a good old roll in the hay, one which’ll leave us both totally satisfied, and have us walking funny for days…”

Tara smiled despite her embarrassment, knowing where the girl was coming from. To Faith, sex wasn’t about love, it was about momentarily feeling satisfied, fooling herself into believing it was all the affection she needed. She was wrong though—she could have affection without sex, just as she could have both love and sex together. The girl had obviously been so hurt in her life that she now believed she didn’t deserve to be loved. A part of Tara could understand that—her dad had always told her she was a thing of evil—that her family were the only ones who could ever love a creature such as herself, and that she shouldn’t bother seeking out love from others.

She’d been lucky however—she’d had her mom. Her mom had made sure to remind her that no matter what her dad said, everyone deserved love. There was no such thing as a totally good person, just like there was no such thing as a totally evil person. Good and evil existed inside everyone, and it was up to the individual to decide where they stood on the continuum. This was partly the reason she still had hope. Even though she had so much evil inside her, it would be up to her to decide whether or not she gave into it.

Looking into the misguided eyes of the troubled Slayer, Tara couldn’t help feeling a kind of kinship with the young woman. Here was someone who hadn’t had a mother to tell her she deserved love…had been brought up to believe that sex was just sex, and that love had no part of it. Faith didn’t need another nameless lover, Faith needed a friend…someone to love her unconditionally…platonically, someone who would stick by her no matter what.

“You don’t get it Faith,” Tara continued, practically willing herself not to stutter. The point she wanted to get across was deftly serious, and she didn’t want to mar it by stammering like an idiot. “I…I want to love you,” she explained, gently running her thumb against the Slayer’s cheekbone. “You deserve to be loved…”

This threw Faith even more off balance, and she could barely move as she looked into the young witch’s eyes. “I thought Red was the one y—?”

“I’m not talking romantic love,” Tara interrupted gently, her smile widening. “I’m talking friendship…platonic love. I…I w-wanna be your friend Faith. I wanna get to know who you really are, and I…I want the chance to love you like a friend.”

Faith couldn’t believe the words coming out of Blondie’s mouth, they were almost unrecognizable to her. No one had ever said they wanted to love her before, especially not without sex. She couldn’t understand her, why would she want this? Why would this girl want to be her friend, want to love her? Faith’s first instinct was to think the girl was having her on, lying to her, but she knew that wasn’t the case. There was just something in the way Tara was looking at her, that made her feel like she was telling the truth. Why did she feel like she could trust her? She’d never trusted anyone in her whole life, why start now?

“Love is for suckers,” Faith said eventually, refusing to give in to the weird feeling in the pit of her stomach. “It’s just something guys say to get you into bed, and something girls wanna hear to justify their actions—coz, you know, it’s okay to fuck someone’s brains out if you’re in love…” she pointed out sarcastically.

“You’re wrong Faith,” Tara insisted. “Love isn’t just about sex, and justification…there are m-many different forms of love…”

“Now who’s been reading a Bible too much?” Faith quipped. “All this love thy neighbor garbage—”

“I’m not preaching to you Faith,” Tara smiled patiently, “I’m talking about nature, about our basic rights,” she tenderly stroked the Slayer’s cheek again, wondering how deep this girl’s pain really went. “I haven’t read a Bible since grade school,” she pointed out good naturedly, “and I’m more of a Wiccan than a Christian…Faith, I…I understand you more than you think I do,” Tara continued.

“You understand nothing,” Faith interjected.

“You’re wrong,” Tara interrupted. “You never met my father,” she began, realizing that revealing this to Faith would be the only way to get her to understand. “He made it his job to tell me I was worthless…to make me think I was, um…evil…”

Faith frowned at the young girl’s words, surprised by what she’d revealed. How could anyone think this girl was evil? “You?” she asked in surprise. “You evil? That’s a laugh riot if I ever heard one,” Faith chuckled. “If you’re evil, then I’m the Dark lord himself—ruler of Hell.”

Tara chuckled along with the Slayer. “You’re wrong though,” she said after her laughter had died down. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me Faith…we both have good and evil inside us…”

Faith looked like she was about to protest, but Tara moved her hand from the Slayer’s cheek, to her lips, gently silencing her.

“We do,” she insisted. “But that’s not my point…not exactly. What I wanna point out, is that despite all my dad told me, I was lucky enough to have my mom. She, um…she taught me that we all deserve to be loved…that no one is perfect, and it’s up to us to choose how we want our lives to play out…”

“What are you driving at Blondie?” Faith inquired, moving her hand up to Tara’s, and lifting it away from her lips.

“I mean you shouldn’t believe all the hype about you being so, um…so bad.”

Faith chuckled in response. “I am a badass Blondie, where have you been?”

Tara chuckled too, but remained firm in her words. “But there’s more to you than just that,” she insisted. “You’re a Slayer,” Tara reminded her. “You fight on the side of good—and yet your power is rooted in darkness. You’re more complex than even you realize, and um, I…I wanna be your friend—I think you’re worth getting to know…”

Faith couldn’t help warming to the girl’s words, she wasn’t much for the mushy stuff, but like she’d been thinking earlier, there was definitely something special about Blondie. Okay, she thought to herself. If Blondie wants to be friends, then we’ll be friends, she’d have to be the only Scoobie I respect…well, except for B. There’s definitely something about the whole Slayer thing that only she gets—and I know she craves more than just non-fat yogurt after a good slay…okay, focus on cutie here—I can think about Buffy later…

“Okay Blondie,” Faith ventured, her mind made up. “If you wanna be friends…I’m willing to have a go at it. But if you even bring up the love crap again—I’m outta here…got it?”

Tara giggled at the Slayer’s bravado—knowing the girl was still in denial. It was a good start though—hopefully by showing Faith what true friendship was all about, she’d be able to get through to her, be able to show her that she wasn’t as bad a person as she thought she was. Coz that was Faith’s main downfall—she’d been told so many times how bad she was, that she’d allowed herself to believe she really was. Tara could see through that though, could sense the good inside her, and being the person she was—she wanted to do everything in her power to help this girl, she deserved it.

“Okay Faith,” Tara began, after she’d stopped giggling. “No love—the word’s gone—stricken from my vocabulary.”

“Just so we’re clear,” Faith grinned, finally removing her hand from Tara’s thigh.

“Crystal,” Tara responded with a smile.

“So,” Faith began, suddenly getting an idea. She wanted to see how far she could push their newfound friendship, see how much sexiness she could get away with before Tara put a stop to it. “How ‘bout we go to the Homecoming dance together?”

“The Homecoming dance?” Tara asked in surprise. “I, um…I don’t even go to school here—”

“That’s the whole point,” Faith interjected. “I bet you’d love to spend the night with Red—Dog-Boy’ll be playing on stage all night I’m sure she could use the company, but you’d never go alone…so as you’re friend I’m offering to take you.”

“But you don’t go to school here either,” Tara pointed out. “How will you get tickets?” Although, a part of her was suddenly intrigued by the idea of going to the Homecoming dance. Faith was right, Willow would be alone all night…she’d want someone to talk to…someone to keep her company…

Tara frowned as she suddenly realized the selfishness of her thoughts. Willow had a boyfriend, she cared about Oz…she would never be interested her, and it was selfish of her to want anything more than friendship from her.

Although, on second thoughts, Willow would be lonely…

“We’ll crash together,” Faith grinned. “I bet B’s already bought tickets,” she continued, her grin widening when she saw the look on Tara’s face—the girl was only seconds away from giving in…”and since Scott Hope ditched her…I don’t think she’ll mind giving ‘em to us. If she changes her mind about going—she can easily get another ticket. So what do you say? You in?”

“I…” Tara hesitated, still not quite sure if it was a good idea. What’s more, she couldn’t help wondering about Faith’s motives for asking her. “Why do you wanna go to the dance with me so much?”

“You want the truth?” Faith asked, grinning seductively.

Tara nodded in response.

“Okay,” Faith chuckled. “I wanna have a bit of fun…I plan on checking out the student population for hotties—but if I land a dreg, then I can just tell ‘em you’re with me…and besides, how can I resist the chance to rub up against you on the dance floor—?”

“Faith,” Tara interjected, surprised by her continued flirting. “I…I thought we c-c-cleared this up?”

“You didn’t think I’d give up that easily?” Faith grinned. “Haven’t you ever heard of having friends with ‘benefits’?”

“Faith, I-I-I…” Tara sputtered, not knowing exactly how to respond.

“I’m not taking no for an answer,” Faith stated. “I’m going to the dance, and you’re coming with me, even if I have to drag you there kicking and screaming,” she smiled softly, letting the witch know she was teasing.

Tara shook her head at Faith’s words, but did so with a smile. She could tell the Slayer wasn’t gonna relent, and to be honest, she couldn’t really see the harm in going to the dance with her. It’s not like the rest of the Scoobies wouldn’t be there…and Faith was probably trying to push her buttons by asking her, wanting to test their newfound friendship.

“Okay Faith,” Tara sighed eventually, “I’m in. But I meant what I said about the whole friendship thing—that’s all I want.”

“And I respect that totally,” Faith said oh-so innocently, “but you can’t blame a gal for trying,” she continued, leaning close and surprising Tara with a quick kiss on the cheek. “You’re a total hottie,” she flirted as she pulled away.

Tara blushed at the compliment and good naturedly pushed the Slayer away from her. “You’re relentless,” she giggled.

“I always take what I want,” Faith replied, lifting her hand back up to Tara’s cheek.

Willow, Oz, Xander and Cordelia chose that moment to round the grassy hill in front of the school. Willow unwittingly let go of Oz’s hand in shock as she witnessed the sickening display of affection happening between Tara and Faith. Why was Faith stroking Tara’s cheek? Why was Tara giggling, allowing Faith to touch her? And why did the sight of it make her wanna do some hardcore violence to Faith?

“What’s going on here?” she asked the two girls, bringing their attention away from one another and up to her.

“Willow,” Tara smiled, pleased to see her student, “How was your day? Were you happy with how you turned out in the yearbook photo?” she asked, knowing the girl had been nervous about it.

Willow relaxed slightly at Tara’s words, giving her a warm smile. “I think I turned out a little worried-looking,” she confessed sheepishly. “I was smiling for what seemed like ages, and when no photo was being taken I started to wonder why…and that’s when the guy took it…”

“Aww,” Tara chuckled. “I bet you turn out adorable,” she grinned.

“I hope so,” Willow smiled, until her gaze once again landed on Faith. “What were you two talking about?” she frowned.

Faith grinned at the question, seeing her chance to make Red squirm. She’d have to be blind not to have noticed the death-stare the young witch had given her a moment ago. Maybe Red wasn’t a totally hopeless case for Blondie after all.

“Tara here just agreed to be my date to the Homecoming dance,” Faith explained, putting an arm around the blonde for show. “Didn’t you Cutie?” she grinned, placing a quick kiss against her cheek.

Tara merely smiled shyly, and lowered her face to the ground—embarrassed by the sudden attention. “I guess…” she said softly.

Willow felt her mouth open wide in shock at Faith’s statement…at the audacity of it all. Why was Tara going to the dance with Faith? And most importantly, why didn’t she pull away when Faith kissed her cheek? Was there something going on here that she’d missed? Why hadn’t Tara told her…?

“How can you take Tara to the dance?” she asked Faith indignantly.

“Yeah,” Cordelia agreed. “Are you a lesbo too…no wait…you’d have to be bi wouldn’t you…with all the stories you tell and the guys you’ve done…?”

For once in her life, Willow had to agree with Cordelia—and actually found herself smiling at her words. “You don’t even go to this school,” Willow pointed out, not waiting for Faith to answer Cordelia’s question.

Faith grinned, choosing to ignore the inane comments of the ‘homecoming queen wannabe’ and answer Red’s question instead.

“Neither does Tara,” she pointed out. “We’re gonna crash,” she turned her head and pressed another quick kiss to the young witch’s cheek. “Anyway,” she looked back up at the group, “I’m gonna go check on B—get some training in before patrol.”

With that she turned back towards Tara and gently grasped the girl’s cheeks in her hands. She knew this would rile up the Scoobies, and she really wanted to give Red something to think about. She’d seen the jealous look the girl had given her a moment ago, and realized that Blondie wasn’t the only one with feelings. Red was in complete denial mode, it would do her good to feel a little jealous, might help Blondie in the process as well.

Willow looked on in shock as Faith pressed her lips to Tara’s, kissing her soundly. She was even more upset when Tara did nothing to stop her, she just accepted the kiss. Why was she doing that? Were she and Faith a couple? Since when were they a couple? Why hadn’t Tara told her she’d been seeing Faith…and why had Tara agreed to go to the dance with her? Didn’t she know what kind of immoral slut the dark-haired Slayer was? She was just gonna hurt her. And why was Faith still kissing Tara? It’s been almost a minute, or so it felt like, and Tara wasn’t doing anything to stop her. Was she enjoying it? Was Faith like her girlfriend now or something?

In actual fact, the kiss only lasted for a few seconds, and by the time Tara realized what was happening, Faith was already pulling away from her.

“Catch ya guys later,” she ventured, leaping up from the grass. “And Tara,” she looked back down at the blonde, “You ever change your mind about that fantasy of yours…the offer still stands.”

Tara sputtered in response, and lowered her head to the ground in mortification. Why did Faith have to be so relentless?

“Fantasy?” Willow asked in shock—her eyes moving form Tara’s to the Slayer’s.

“Yeah,” Faith grinned. “Maybe she’ll tell you about it someday Red,” she told her huskily, loving the annoyance she’d caused in the young witch. Man, her buttons were easy to push—as was the case for most of the Scoobies…

With that thought, she flashed an open-mouthed Xander a seductive smile as she headed off to the library, giving him a sly wink to egg him on even further. She loved causing a stir…and the poor guy had fallen for it hook, line and sinker. As she made her way towards the library, she couldn’t help wondering if the boy was a virgin or not…she loved educating virgins…

“You can close your mouth now Xander,” Cordelia said with annoyance, lifting her hand to his chin and doing it for him.

“Did you see that?” he grinned, turning to Oz.

Oz merely looked at him blankly, choosing not to dignify Xander’s question with a response. He was more worried about his girlfriend’s demeanor. He could see how upset Willow seemed. Why would it irritate her to see Tara and Faith kissing? Unless…

He let his thoughts trail off then. It wouldn’t do to get worked up about it, especially since he wasn’t completely sure he was reading things correctly. However, the niggling feeling that Willow might be jealous of Faith simply wouldn’t leave him.

Oz had sensed right, Willow was fuming. All she could think about was how dare Faith kiss Tara, how dare Tara just sit there and take it…and what the hell was this about a fantasy? Why was Tara telling Faith about her fantasies, why hadn’t Tara told her about her fantasies? Willow didn’t stop to think about why she was so upset—all she knew was that she hated what she’d seen…and she was suddenly furious with Tara.

Before she could speak though, Cordelia decided to voice her disapproval of her boyfriend’s ogling of the sexy Slayer. “Okay,” she ventured. “If you’re done ogling Slutty The Slayer, can we go now? I’m kinda thirsty and I really want my caffeine fix.”

Willow looked up at Cordelia and sighed. A part of her couldn’t help but find her nickname for Faith amusing, but she wasn’t ready to leave just yet. She had a few things to discuss with Tara first.

“Why don’t you guys just go on without us,” she ventured, turning her glance towards Oz. “You don’t mind do you?” she asked him. “I wanna talk with Tara some more…”

“Don’t mind,” he smiled down at his girlfriend, forcing down his own reservations.

He could tell she wanted to grill Tara on her actions, but there was nothing he could do about it. Besides, it might be good to let Will get her emotions out in the open…

“Got practice with the Dingoes anyway,” he explained affably. “Devon wants to make sure we’ve got all our sets down for the dance.”

“Cool,” Willow smiled, graciously accepting his good-bye kiss.

When the gang had left, she turned her attention back to Tara, unable to keep her thoughts to herself.

“Are you and Faith like a couple now?” she asked the blonde, kneeling down next to her on the grass. “Why didn’t you tell me you and Faith were dating? Since when have you been dating? How long has this been going on? Why didn’t you tell me? And for that matter, why were you telling her about your fantasies. You never told me about your fantasies…and we talked talk about everything…why tell Faith? Don’t you trust me? Why haven’t you ever talked to me about stuff like that? What’s so special about Faith? Don’t you know what a slut she is? She’s just gonna hurt you, you know? Faith’ll do anything with two legs, and if you—”

“Hey, Will,” Tara interrupted, reaching out a hand to her knee. The girl’s sudden bombardment of questions surprised her. What was Willow’s problem with Faith? Why was she so upset? “There’s nothing going on between me and Faith,” she explained. “We’re just going to the dance as friends…really.”

“You looked more than just friendly to me,” Willow pointed out.

Tara frowned in confusion, wondering at the sudden anger in Willow’s voice. What was her problem? Why was Willow freaking out…? The answer suddenly dawned on her, and she had to admit, she hated the realization.

“Oh my God, Will,” Tara sighed, quickly removing her hand from the girl’s knee. “I th-th-thought you didn’t have a pr-problem with me b-b-being, um…you know…g-g-gay…”

Willow frowned at Tara’s words. “I don’t have a problem with you being gay,” she stated. “Why would you think I have a problem with it?”

“Coz this is the f-f-first time you’ve actually s-s-s-seen evidence of the fact. You’re freaked c-c-coz Faith k-k-kissed me, and…”

“You’re right,” Willow interrupted. “I am freaked that Faith kissed you…but I’m not freaked you’re gay. How can you even say that? You’ve got it wrong. I just know Faith’s type—that’s all, and…and I don’t wanna see you get hurt.”

Tara didn’t know what to make of Willow’s words. Although, it did make more sense than Willow freaking out about the gay-thing. She knew Willow well enough by now to know she was a good person, which is why the sudden realization that she might be freaked surprised her. She didn’t want to think that…in fact, she didn’t want to argue with Willow at all.

“But why are you so angry Will?” Tara asked softly. “You seem angry with me…”

Willow sighed and reached her hands for Tara’s. “I’m not angry with you,” she told her gently, realizing she’d been argumentative. She suddenly regretted her outburst, not wanting to fight with Tara. What had possessed her to overreact like that? It wasn’t like her at all. “I just, I…I’m sorry Tara…it’s none of my business. If you wanna date Faith—that’s fine…I was just worried…I’m sorry…”

“You’ve got nothing to be worried about,” Tara smiled, relaxing somewhat at Willow’s words. “And like I said…Faith and I are not dating…we’re just friends.”

Willow didn’t really believe that…figured Tara was just saying that to stop the argument. And since she didn’t wanna argue with Tara either, she decided to let it go—for now.

“Okay Tara,” she smiled. “If you say so…”

Tara smiled back, feeling only slightly comforted. She was still a little confused about her friend’s reaction. She’d never seen Willow like this before and she hated the idea that the girl was angry with her. It just didn’t sit well…

“Lets talk about something else,” Willow decided to change the topic. After all, she had wanted to meet with Tara for a reason…

“W-w-what do you wanna talk about?” Tara asked, jumping at the chance to move on from their unprecedented awkwardness.

“How ‘bout the dance,” Willow ventured.

Tara frowned. She’d thought Willow didn’t want to continue with their argument.

“Not about that,” Willow was quick to explain, noticing Tara’s reaction. “I…I wanted to ask you if you’d help me pick out an outfit. I wanna wear something that makes Oz go ‘wow’…not just ‘cool’…you know what I mean?”

Tara chuckled at Willow’s words. “Sure,” she smiled.

“Great,” Willow grinned in response, suddenly getting an idea. “Oh…wait, you’re going now too aren’t you? Do you know what you’re gonna wear? I can help you pick out something as well…if you want…”

“Oh,” Tara ventured, realizing she hadn’t thought about that.

Although, her mother’s dress suddenly came to mind…but she’d never worn it before…been saving it for a special occasion. Well…this would be her first dance after all…and she could try it on at Willow’s…get the girl’s opinion on it.

“I do have some idea of what I’m gonna wear,” she smiled. “But I haven’t worn it before, so I’d love your opinion of it.”

“It’s settled then,” Willow replied. “We’ll stop by your place, grab your outfit, and then head back to mine. What do you say?”

“Okay,” Tara smiled. “But can we get something to eat first? I’m kinda hungry.”

“Sure,” Willow nodded. “Lets go to the food court at the mall,” she stood up and offered her hand to Tara. “We can grab a pizza or something.”

“Sounds great,” Tara replied, allowing Willow to help her up.

***

A few hours later, Tara was placing her mother’s dress on Willow’s bed as Willow pressed play on her Lisa Loeb CD. Willow then went to her closet and quickly took out the outfits she’d been contemplating.

“I’ve narrowed my choices down to these,” she explained to Tara. “You can let me know which ones you like as I try them on.”

“Okay,” Tara agreed, watching with a smile as Willow grabbed one of the outfits and headed behind her change screen.

A few minutes later, Willow stepped out from behind the screen, wearing a scarlet blouse over a white satin slip dress. “What do you think of this?” she asked Tara softly.

Tara looked up as she slipped the denim jacket from her shoulders. “Nice,” she smiled at her friend, thinking she looked absolutely adorable.

“It’s my first big dance, you know,” Willow confessed, as she began to unbutton her blouse. “Where there’s a boy,” she smiled widely, “and a band…and not just me alone in my room pretending that there’s a boy and a band.”

Tara chuckled at this, finding it hard to believe that the enchantress before her had any problems getting guys to notice her.

Slipping the blouse off her shoulders, Willow moved towards the bed and picked up another outfit. “I just want it to be…” she trailed off, moving back behind the screen.

“Special…” Tara finished for her, as she began to unbutton her own blouse. “I know what you mean. I…I’ve never been to a d-d-dance before.”

“Is that why you said yes to Faith?” Willow asked.

Tara sighed at Willow’s question, not wanting to get back to their argument again. “Partly…” she hesitated. “I…”

“I get it,” Willow interjected from behind the screen, instantly regretting her question. She also didn’t feel like dredging up their argument. “And again…I’m sorry I overreacted…”

“It’s okay Will,” Tara insisted, throwing her blouse to the bed. “You were just concerned,” she moved towards the bed and picked up her dress. She pulled it over her head, keeping her jeans on for the moment.

“What do you think about this?” Willow asked, stepping out from behind the screen again.

Tara took in her friend’s appearance, the girl was wearing a long black floral print skirt, and a black top with small sunflowers on it. “Nice,” she nodded, moving her hands to the back of her own dress.

Willow watched with a smile as Tara attempted to tie the strings of the corset-type bodice. The girl could barely reach behind her, and the look of intense concentration on her face was utterly adorable. Lifting her hands up, she took a few steps towards Tara, and gently turned her around by the shoulders.

“Let me,” she whispered into her ear as she reached for the first tie at the small of her back.

Tara could only nod, her skin humming from Willow’s proximity. She sucked in her breath sharply as the redhead tightened the first tie and began to work on the second. When Willow’s knuckles suddenly brushed against her naked back, Tara felt her skin tingle from her touch and the sensation of the girl’s breath against her neck was almost too much for Tara to handle, it was all she could do to remain standing.

“It’s a gorgeous dress,” Willow whispered, moving towards the third tie, her eyes strangely drawn to the naked expanse of Tara’s back. The girl had such smooth skin…and it felt so silky against her knuckles as she tied her bodice. The sensation was tingly and she too was having trouble with her legs.

“It was my mom’s,” Tara breathed out gently, “she um…she left it to me when she…”

“Oh,” Willow replied softly, moving her knuckles purposefully against Tara’s skin as she reached for the next tie. “Is this the first time you’ve worn it?” she asked, doing her best to steady her breathing. That was a hard thing to do however, seeing as the image of Tara’s naked back was now firmly entrenched in her mind and the sensation of her silky skin made her feel as if a direct current of electricity was coursing through her body.

“Yeah,” Tara choked out, letting out a soft gasp at the deliberate movement of Willow’s knuckles against her skin. Why was she doing this to her? Didn’t she know how sexy that felt…how wet she was getting because of it? “I, um…” she forced herself to continue, “I was saving it for a special occasion.”

“Like the dance,” Willow stated, moving her hands to the final tie.

“Yeah,” Tara whispered, reminding herself to breathe. Just because Willow’s hands were brushing against her skin, didn’t mean she should stop breathing. But why did it have to feel so erotic…?

As Willow pulled the strings tight with her fingers, she couldn’t help but wonder why she felt so dizzy. What was it about Tara’s semi-nakedness that had her so worked up? Why did her legs feel like jell-o…and why could she feel the wetness building between her thighs? It’s not like she thought Tara was sexy…? So why did she have the sudden urge to press her lips against Tara’s skin? Why could she imagine reaching out with her tongue and running it along the exposed skin of Tara’s back? Why did she want to taste the saltiness of her skin…feel her silkiness against her tongue?

“There,” Willow choked out, bringing herself out of her fantasy. She rested her fingers against Tara’s back, just above where her dress ended, indulging in the texture of her skin for only a brief moment before turning around and heading back behind the screen.

Tara sighed as Willow’s fingers left her skin, turning around as she disappeared from view. “Thanks Will,” she said softly, lifting the hem of her dress upwards.

“My pleasure,” Willow replied from behind the screen.

Tara quickly unbuttoned her jeans and worked down the zipper. She then deftly began to unlace her boots. “So, uh…you and Oz,” she ventured, recalling their conversation from the other night, “you decided to take the next step yet…or are you still feeling confused?” she asked, slipping her boots off, before standing back up.

“I haven’t really seen him much since our talk,” Willow replied, adjusting the shoulder straps of her dress, “but…”

“You’re still thinking about it?” Tara ventured, stepping out of her jeans and allowing the dress to fall gracefully down her legs.

“Yeah,” Willow replied, stepping into her shoes. “What about you and Faith…you seemed kinda cozy…I bet you’re thinking about taking that step with her…?”

She couldn’t help but ask the question, knowing it really wasn’t appropriate after their argument, but she just couldn’t stop the words from leaving her mouth. Seeing them together on the grass…witnessing the apparent affection they had for one another…watching them kiss…well…it still bothered her…made her feel kinda possessive. Why was that?

Tara sighed as she slipped into her sandals, wondering why Willow would ask that of her, why she was still bothered about it. Was Willow telling her the truth when she’d said the gay thing didn’t freak her?

“It’s not like that,” she explained. “Faith and I are just friends…”

“Oh, yeah?” Willow asked incredulously as she stepped out from behind the screen. “Well, since when do friends lock…?” she trailed off as her eyes met Tara’s, as she took in the girl’s appearance.

She was practically struck dumb by how gorgeous Tara looked…almost like a goddess. She couldn’t help but slowly drag her eyes down the length of Tara’s frame, taking in the way the emerald bodice hugged her figure perfectly, tightening her waist, and lifting her breasts upwards in the most enticing fashion. The lighter jade silk of the long flowing sleeves and the sheer skirt of the full full-length dress gave Tara an almost angelic appearance. She was simply breathtaking…

Tara was also dumbfounded by Willow’s appearance. She just couldn’t take her eyes off the girl. The elegant black evening gown fitted Willow perfectly. Tara couldn’t remember ever seeing a more beautiful sight…she was speechless. Willow was a goddess…

“…lips?” Willow said huskily, finally finishing her sentence.

She realized she’d been staring too long at Tara and suddenly looked down shyly at her own dress. Giggling nervously, she decided her appearance paled in comparison to Tara’s beauty. “Uh, I know…‘nice’…”

“I was gonna go with ‘gorgeous’,” Tara whispered, taking a step towards Willow, feeling inexplicably drawn to her.

“Really?” Willow smiled, taking a step towards Tara. “You too,” she said breathlessly, her eyes locking with Tara’s.

Tara smiled back at Willow, suddenly remembering to take a breath—she’d almost forgotten she needed to breathe. “Oz is very lucky,” she ventured, reminding herself that Willow was taken.

“So is Faith…” Willow replied graciously, “i-in a girl way…”

Tara simply smiled as she continued to gaze into Willow’s eyes. The girl was amazing…gorgeous…

Willow moved to take another step towards Tara, but remained motionless as she realized how constricting her dress was. “I don’t know if I can dance in this,” she said worriedly. “I don’t know if I can dance…!”

Tara looked at her friend with complete adoration, finding her nerves utterly adorable. “Come on…piece of cake,” she ventured, stepping up to Willow. She didn’t know why she was acting so boldly…but being Willow’s mystical teacher…she felt it was her duty to teach her how to dance as well…at least that’s what she told herself as she lifted her left hand up. “Here…” she offered, placing her right hand on Willow’s shoulder.

Mesmerized by her friend’s proximity, Willow laced her fingers with Tara’s and placed her left hand against her waist. She breathed deeply as she took in the sweet smell of sage and jasmine, becoming more, and more intoxicated by the second. She unwittingly pulled Tara closer to her as they began to move slowly.

“Well,” Tara whispered nervously, finding it very surreal to actually be dancing with Willow, “that seems to, um…” she trailed off, dropping her gaze to the floor as they continued to move together. Being so close to Willow was causing her stomach to feel fluttery, her cheeks to turn red, and her whole body to hum with excitement.

Willow was also feeling fluttery as she looked up at Tara. The girl’s face was so close to hers…her fingers felt so tingly and…and why was she suddenly so fascinated with the lusciousness of Tara’s bottom lip?

“Yeah…” Willow whispered, “this shouldn’t be a…” she unwittingly moved her face closer towards Tara’s, “problem…”

Tara’s bottom lip was so close…it was so full…and it was almost begging her to capture it. What would it feel like to run her tongue over it…to press her own lip against it…to suckle it…to taste it…?

“No,” Tara agreed, lifting her eyes from the floor. She was surprised to notice how close Willow’s face was to hers…how close her lips were…”No problem…” she trailed off, as her eyes remained focused on Willow’s lips. It would be so easy to lean forward…to capture those lips with hers…

Giving in to her thoughts, Tara’s brain ceased to function as her lips moved ever closer to Willow’s. It felt like a dream to her…a wonderful sensuous dream…and all of a sudden, she could no longer feel her legs as she closed her eyes and her lips finally met Willow’s

Willow also closed her eyes as her lips met Tara’s, her pulse racing with anticipation. She could do nothing to control herself as she slowly captured Tara’s bottom lip, sucking on it gently for a moment, before she was forced to let it go, but only because Tara decided she wanted to taste hers as well.

Tara couldn’t believe this was really happening, that she was really tasting Willow’s lip…she could barely think straight anymore. All she knew was that it felt so good to feel Willow’s lip against her tongue…to taste it…to let it go so that she could press her slightly open mouth firmly against Willow’s. The sensations coursing through her body at this moment were unlike anything she’d ever felt in her life.

Willow too found the experience almost surreal…intoxicating. It just felt so good to press her lips to Tara’s…to brush her bottom lip against Tara’s top lip…to brush her top lip against the girl’s bottom lip…and then to press both her lips to Tara’s at once—top lip against top lip, and bottom lip against bottom lip.

Pretty soon, the girls were heatedly opening and closing their mouths as their kiss began to heat up. They alternated between capturing one another’s lips and simply enjoying the sensation of their lips as they pressed together.

Neither girl knew how long the kiss lasted, all they were aware of was how good it felt. The sexual tension that had been brewing between them from the moment they’d first met had now finally come to a head, and this first kiss between them was unleashing everything they’d kept bottled up for so long.

To Willow, kissing Tara made her feel as if she were finally alive—finally understood what it was like to be free. It was almost as if her whole life had been a dream, and she was only now waking up from it. The kiss felt so good, and so right, and so natural…she’d never felt so at one with herself…with her sensuality. She just wanted this kiss to go on forever…she was kissing Tara and it was like nothing else mattered anymore, not the world…not society…not gender…not sexuality…nothing but Tara and her lips…her beauty…her taste…her smell…this was right…perfect…it was heaven…

As Tara continued to open and close her mouth against Willow’s, she too couldn’t help thinking how right this felt. Sure, she’d kissed girls before…but no one had ever made her feel like this…as if she were no longer herself…but a part of someone else…joined…merged…as if she’d finally found a piece of her soul—the one she’d been missing all her life. There was nothing with which to compare the sensation of kissing Willow…to compare the heat coursing through her body…the emotion…the desire…the tingly-ness of her lips…the electricity…this was heaven…nirvana.

When Tara opened her mouth yet again, Willow suddenly couldn’t resist delving in for a little exploration. She was so caught up in her desire…in the surreal-ness of their kiss, that her own sensuality prompted her to taste…to seek out more of the sweetness that Tara was offering.

Almost tentatively, she worked her tongue in between Tara’s lips, sighing as it instantly met with Tara’s. The sudden electricity of that meeting caused her whole body to tremble and she couldn’t help but moan at the sensation.

Tara moaned as well—surprised to suddenly find Willow’s tongue in her mouth. She could do nothing but greet it with her own, welcoming it into her mouth. She swirled her tongue around Willow’s for a brief moment, and then gently sucked on it, enjoying her flavor.

Willow loved this, and couldn’t help but squeeze Tara’s hand with her own, and pull her even closer against her body. This caused her breasts to come into contact with Tara’s, and instantly the wetness between her legs doubled.

Tara arched her back in response, surprised to feel her nipples pressing against Willow’s. Her surprise consequently caused her to let go of Willow’s tongue, and the redhead immediately took advantage of this by allowing her tongue to explore the inner recesses of Tara’s mouth.

Tara trembled with sensation as Willow’s tongue worked itself around her mouth, pressing into every little nook and cranny. It licked at her own tongue…at the roof of her mouth…the fleshy area of her cheeks…over her teeth…and then finally retreated to taste her lips. The feel of Willow’s tongue licking a gentle circle over her lips invoked Tara’s inner sexuality and she growled softly as she thrust her own tongue into Willow’s mouth.

Willow was surprised by Tara’s sudden forcefulness…by her soft growl—and yet she was extremely turned on by it. She could do nothing but allow her the access she was seeking, allow her to explore her own mouth.

Tara happily took what was offered to her…eagerly pressing her tongue to the roof of Willow’s mouth…and then slowly licking her way across it. She then circled around the rest of Willow’s mouth…tasting her…savoring her…staking her claim as she absorbed Willow’s flavor into her being.

It was then that Willow growled, and reached her own tongue up to meet Tara’s. She dueled with it for a moment, before pulling away so that she could gently suck on it. She wasn’t really aware of what she was doing, all she cared about was how good it felt. It didn’t matter that she had a boyfriend…that Tara was a girl…that what she was doing was wrong. To her, it didn’t feel wrong…it felt oh so right, righter than anything had ever felt in her whole life.

But it was wrong—if only for the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend. The instant she thought this, Tara thought it too, as if their kiss had somehow linked their thought patterns momentarily. We shouldn’t be doing this, they both realized. It was wrong…even if it did feel so right.

They sprang apart instantly, letting go of each other as they looked at one another in shock. What had they done? What had possessed them to act so wantonly? It hadn’t really happened…had it?

“That didn’t just happen!” Tara pointed at Willow, voicing both their thoughts.

“No!” Willow agreed, gesturing nervously with her hands. “I mean, it did…but it didn’t!”

“Because I respect you,” Tara continued, “and Oz…and I would never…”

“I would never, either,” Willow frowned. “I-it must be the clothes…i-it’s a fluke.”

“It’s a clothes fluke,” Tara supplied, jumping at the chance to justify her actions, “that’s what it is…and there’ll be no more fluking…”

“Not ever,” Willow replied, her eyes drifting back down to Tara’s lips. Unwittingly she took a step towards her, once again feeling the draw of her sensuality.

Tara leaned in as well, feeling just as powerless as Willow. “We gotta get out of these clothes!” she stated, jumping back as she realized what she was doing.

“Right now,” Willow agreed, pulling back as well.

Their eyes met then as they realized the implications of what they’d just said.

“Oh,” Tara ventured, feeling all flustered, “I didn’t mean…”

Willow shook her head in agreement, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. “I didn’t…me, either,” she stated, turning around as she ran towards the change screen.

Feeling utterly mortified by her behavior, Tara turned the other way and headed straight for the door, choosing to leave her boots and casual clothes behind. She’d probably just ruined her friendship with Willow forever, and she was in a rush to get home, before the tears consumed her.

Willow heard the door slam, and realized Tara had left. Stepping out from behind the screen, she hastily dragged the evil-dress off her body and tossed it to the floor. She then threw herself onto her bed as she began to sob uncontrollably.

What had she done…what did it all mean? Had she ruined her friendship with Tara? Why had she kissed her? Why had it felt so good…so right? Was she gay…? If she was…then why did she care about Oz…what was Oz to her? What was going on…why had she behaved so irresponsibly…and why couldn’t she forget how hot it had felt to kiss Tara? She’d never gotten so turned on by kissing Oz…never gotten so wet…so shaky…so blind.

Did this mean she was gay…? She didn’t want to be gay…she wasn’t gay—was she? If she wasn’t, then why did she constantly feel like touching Tara…like holding her hand…holding her close…licking her naked back…kissing her…? Had she been in denial? Is that why she’d freaked when she’d seen Tara and Faith kissing…was she jealous? Is that it?

Oh, God…she’d just ruined her friendship with Tara for good. Even if she was interested in Tara, the girl had Faith. Why would she want a nobody like her when she could have a sexy Slayer who could kill things with her bare hands? The girl probably felt all embarrassed now…didn’t know how to tell her she just wanted to be friends. Tara was gay, so of course she’d kissed her, two girls…dancing…heat of the moment and all…but that didn’t mean she wanted more than friendship.

All Tara had ever offered her was friendship—she’d never come on to her…never given her reason to believe she wanted more. What would she do if Tara left her…if Tara decided she’d overstepped her bounds? The girl had come to mean so much to her in the short time that she’d known her. Tara was her teacher…her confidant…one of her best friends…she’d told things to Tara she’d never told anyone else…no one understood her like Tara did.

So why did she have to be such an idiot and ruin it with a kiss? Okay, so it wasn’t just a kiss—it was a mind-blowing make-out session—with tongue and everything. A quick peck on the lips…that could be explained away—but what had just happened between them was more than just that…it was soulful and spiritual…and magickal…at least to her.

What was she going to do? She’d just lost her best friend…and worse…she’d cheated on her boyfriend. How could she be such a terrible person? She’d not only hurt Oz, but herself as well…and she’d probably made Tara feel utterly uncomfortable. The poor girl was probably sitting in her room right now, thinking of ways to let her down gently…pondering over how to end their friendship.

Oh God, she didn’t even know who she was anymore. The person who had kissed Tara wasn’t her—was it? She would never feel that way about a girl…think those thoughts about a girl…kiss her passionately…explore her mouth with her tongue…fantasize about her nakedness…feel like running her tongue over her salty skin…? Would she? What was she going to do? What would everyone say if she were gay…what would Oz say?

She cared about Oz…didn’t want to hurt him…but if she were gay…how could she live a lie? Would being with Oz really be a lie…or was kissing Tara just a fluke? Did she want to do it again…? The answer was yes! Now that she’d had a taste of those sweet lips…sampled what the girl had to offer…how could she not want it? She’d never be able to forget that kiss—it had simply left her wanting more…

What was she to do? She wanted Tara desperately…but she’d never be able to have her. A goddess such as Tara would never want a nobody like her, she deserved more. Besides, she had more…she had Faith…and even if Faith wasn’t good enough for her, the Slayer was still better than her. Faith was obviously way more experienced than she was…she could probably do things to Tara that she could only dream about.

That thought suddenly made her feel a little queasy. The idea of Faith pleasing Tara…well…that just seemed wrong to her somehow. Tara was her girl…she was the only one who had the right to touch her…to kiss her…to please her…

Okay, since when did she become Ms Possessive? Tara wasn’t hers…she belonged to no one…she had no right to think otherwise. And yet…she couldn’t help it. She hated the idea of Tara with someone else—someone other than her. It was only now that she finally realized why she’d felt so angry, so furious with Tara for allowing Faith to kiss her. She was jealous…

Willow began to sob even harder at that thought, as the hopelessness of her situation dawned on her. For the second time in her life, she wanted someone who didn’t want her back…what’s more, she was almost possibly gay…and even worse—she’d cheated on her boyfriend. Her life was ruined…not just because of her sexuality, but because she now knew she could never be ‘just friends’ with Tara, but that friendship was all that Tara wanted. How could she just stand around and do nothing as she watched her sweet Tara make time with Faith?

Throwing the remaining clothes off her bed, Willow crawled under the bedcovers, not bothering to get dressed. She then continued to wallow in her depression, in her hopelessness…softly crying herself to sleep.

***

Meanwhile, Tara rushed towards her dorm in utter anguish. She too felt like she’d ruined their friendship. Willow would probably never want to speak to her again, not after she’d practically mauled her. How could she have been so wantonly aggressive?

As she closed the door behind her, Tara quickly took off her dress and slipped into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, before crawling under the covers of her bed. She cried softly for a while…thinking she’d lost Willow forever.

However, as her thoughts started to wander…she began to slowly realize that Willow had kissed her back. She hadn’t been the only one doing the kissing…if she remembered correctly, Willow’s tongue had definitely made its way into her mouth…had dueled with her own…explored her…

Did that mean there was the possibility that Willow might actually be interested in her? Could this have changed the dynamic of their relationship? Although…Willow wasn’t gay…she had Oz…but maybe…

Tara refused to hope one way or another. She realized that before she started to dream of having a chance with Willow romantically, she’d need to speak with the girl. They had to discuss what had happened…figure out what they both wanted. She didn’t want to push Willow into something she didn’t want—and she especially didn’t want to do anything to ruin their friendship.

With that thought, she allowed herself to gradually drift off to sleep. She’d left her stuff at Willow’s…hopefully the girl would come over to return it tomorrow…and they could discuss what had happened then.

***

Just as Tara had expected, Willow came over the following night to return her clothes and boots. She smiled shyly at the redhead as she let her into the room, neither of them saying a word as Willow placed the bag with her stuff down on the floor.

“Thanks,” Tara said eventually, her heart racing with nervousness.

“You’re welcome,” Willow replied, not knowing what else to say. This was really awkward for her, and she was unable to even meet Tara’s eyes properly. She was desperate to ask Tara what she wanted…what their kiss had meant…but she was scared to bring it up, scared because she didn’t want to hear Tara say she just wanted to be friends. Although, she did have a boyfriend…

That just made this all the more difficult. Willow was still feeling utterly confused about everything…about how she felt…about her sexuality. The one thing she was sure of however…was that kissing Tara had been one of the most erotic experiences of her life…and it was definitely something she wanted to do again.

“You wanna sit down?” Tara asked eventually, breaking Willow’s thoughts.

“Okay,” Willow replied, still unable to actually look at Tara.

Tara could see this awkwardness, and began to realize that maybe Willow really did want to be just friends. If that were all she wanted, then she’d have to let her know it was okay. She didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their friendship.

Taking a seat next to Willow, Tara placed a gentle hand on her knee. “Will,” she ventured softly.

Willow almost jumped when she felt Tara’s hand on her. She hadn’t expected the contact, and as she turned around to face her, she was suddenly surprised at how close Tara’s face was to hers. Ever since their kiss…all she’d been able to think about was Tara’s lips…what they’d tasted like…felt like…and now that she was once again so close to them…she found that she couldn’t really resist their allure. Before she could even think of the ramifications of her actions, Willow lowered her head and gently pressed her lips to Tara’s.

Tara was surprised to suddenly feel Willow’s lips against hers, but she instantly responded to the kiss. She expertly began to open and close her mouth against Willow’s, as their lips brushed together sensuously. Her hands meanwhile moved to Willow’s cheeks, wanting to feel the soft texture of the girl’s skin against her fingertips.

Willow moaned as Tara reached for her, and moved her own hands around to Tara’s back. She gripped her tightly, and thrust her tongue purposefully into the blonde’s mouth. She wasn’t really thinking about what she was doing…she was just going with the moment…enjoying the sensation of being so close to Tara.

Tara had no idea what it meant that Willow was kissing her…all she knew was that she didn’t want her to stop. For whatever reason…Willow had decided to kiss her again, and this time she wouldn’t stop her…wouldn’t pull away. So what if Willow had a boyfriend…that didn’t matter.… Only it did. Tara cared about Willow a great deal, and she wanted more than just the odd kiss. She wanted a relationship with her, and if Willow was still with Oz…well…then this just wasn’t right.

Pulling away from Willow’s kiss was the hardest thing Tara had ever had to do in her life, but she did so anyway. She needed to know where she stood with Willow…what it meant that Willow was kissing her…and she couldn’t allow the kiss to continue before she knew what it meant.

Willow was surprised when she felt Tara pull away from her, but instantly realized what it meant. How could she have been so stupid as to kiss her again…? Of course Tara was pulling away…she didn’t want her…she wanted Faith…and now she’d done even more damage to their relationship.

Before Tara could say a word, Willow leapt up off the bed and looked down at her with mortification. “Oh God, Tara,” she said through the sudden tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, I…I…” she trailed off, her embarrassment getting the better of her as she rushed for the door.

“Willow wait,” Tara stood up, following the girl to the door. ‘It’s—” she was about to say okay, but Willow had already slammed the door behind her. Tara couldn’t believe it…what had she done? Why had Willow stormed out like that? Had she offended her…? Of course…Willow must’ve thought she’d pulled away because she didn’t want to kiss her…

With a sigh, Tara returned to her bed as she began to cry softly. Had she made things worse by pulling away? Although…why had Willow kissed her in the first place? What was going on here…where did she stand with Willow…and why did Willow have to storm out like that? Had she ruined their friendship with her actions?

Not knowing what the best course of action would be, Tara decided to sleep on it. Hopefully by morning she’d think of the best way to approach this situation.

***

As Willow ran all the way home, she cursed her inappropriate behavior. What had possessed her to suddenly kiss Tara again? She’d gone over to the girl’s dorm with every intention of talking about what had happened, and had ended up making a fool of herself. Tara didn’t want her…she wanted Faith. At that thought, Willow suddenly remembered that she too had someone…she had Oz. What’s more, maybe it was all for the best…she didn’t want to be gay…she had a great boyfriend…

Maybe she should prove it? She’d told Tara the other day that she felt something was missing in her relationship with Oz…that she was scared to take the next step. Maybe it was time to get over her fear, and prove once and for all that she wasn’t gay?

With renewed purpose, Willow rushed straight for her phone when she reached her room. She hastily dialed Oz’s number and asked him to come straight to her house. If she was gonna prove she wasn’t gay…she might as well do so now.

***

Willow opened the door to her room, and motioned for Oz to follow her.

“What’s going on Will?” he asked his girlfriend, becoming more and more confused by her behavior.

“I…” she hesitated, but then the memory of Tara pulling away from their kiss…and the image of Faith kissing Tara invaded her senses, and she made up her mind.

“I thought we could spend some time together,” she smiled at him warmly, taking a seat on the bed, “maybe, um…you know…snuggle. It’s been ages since we’ve spent some alone-time together and…well, my um…my parents aren’t home so…”

Oz looked down at his girlfriend, took in her warm smile, the flush of her cheeks, and couldn’t help but think her words made sense. It had been a while since they’d spent some time alone, what with him being out of town with the Dingoes, and she’d been spending all that her time with Tara…

“You’re right,” he agreed, moving towards the bed. “I’ve missed you Will,” he took a seat next to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “It’ll be good to um—”

Willow silenced him with a kiss, her mind was made up, and she wanted to start this while she still had her momentum. She’d prove to herself that she wasn’t gay—prove she only wanted Tara as a friend…that’s all Tara wanted…Tara had Faith, and she…well, she had Oz.

She lifted her hands to Oz’s face, running her thumbs against his cheeks as she thrust her tongue forcefully into his mouth. She met his tongue with her own as she began to move her hands from his face, down to his shoulders, and around to his back. Gripping him tightly, she continued to work her tongue against his, determined to lose herself in the moment.

Oz moaned into the kiss as his tongue played with Willow’s, and he moved his hands from her shoulders, up to her face. He cupped her cheeks gently for a moment, and then moved his hands further up so that they tangled in her hair.

Willow leaned back then, allowing herself to gently fall back against the bed, bringing Oz down with her. She pressed her thighs against his hips, thrusting her lower body against his hardness as she moved her hands from his back down to his ass.

They stayed that way for a while, simply allowing their kiss to continue, enjoying the closeness. After a few minutes though, Willow began to purposefully thrust herself against Oz in a rhythmical fashion. She could feel his hardness between her legs, could feel how much he wanted her and she was determined to prove she wanted him too. Although, while it did feel good to be rubbing up against him, as of late, just looking at Tara tended to make her feel ten times wetter...

Oz pulled away from the kiss when he became aware of Willow’s actions. It felt so good to feel her pressing up against him and if he wasn’t careful, he’d end up doing something Willow wasn’t ready for. “Oh God, Will,” he sighed, lifting himself up onto his forearms, “If you keep doing that, I don’t think I’m gonna want to stop you soon.”

“Then don’t stop me,” Willow said huskily, reaching her hands up to his face and pulling him down towards her. “Make love to me Oz,” she whispered against his lips, doing her best to sound sexy.

“What?” Oz pulled away in surprise. Those were the last words he’d expected to hear from his girlfriend.

“Touch me,” she whispered, grasping his right hand and pressing it to her left breast. “Make love to me…”

Oz closed his eyes when he felt the fullness of his girlfriend’s breast beneath his hand, felt the hardness of her nipple straining through the material of her shirt. He forced himself to pull his hand away though—something was going on here and much as he wanted to take what Willow was offering, he could sense it wasn’t really what she wanted. There was a disturbing air of desperation surrounding her request, and he was only now beginning to realize this.

“What’s going on here Will?” he asked her gently, sitting up to kneel between his girlfriend’s legs.

“Don’t you want me Oz?” Willow pouted, upset by his refusal. Weren’t guys always supposed to want sex? Why was he rejecting her? Was she not sexy enough? God, that’s probably why Tara had rejected her as well, why she just wanted to be friends. Why would she want her when she could have a sex-bomb like Faith? “I’m not sexy enough, am I?” she sighed, sitting up as she forced her tears away.

Oz looked into his girlfriend’s eyes and smiled gently. “You really think I don’t want you?” he asked her huskily, glancing down at the throbbing hardness between his legs, and then back up to meet Willow’s eyes.

Willow followed his gaze, and then smiled shyly. “Then what is it?” she asked him softly. “Why don’t you want to—?”

“Because you don’t,” he explained. “You’re not ready for this Will,” he pressed his fingertips against her lips to silence her protest. “I love you Willow,” he admitted, saying the words for the first time, “and I want this to be about love—because you love me too…and I don’t know why it’s so important to you that we make love now, but I can tell it’s not about me. Something’s bothering you…talk to me…tell me what’s wrong.”

“You love me?” she asked him softly, tears welling up in her eyes.

This was the first time he’d actually said those words to her, and she suddenly felt extremely guilty for her actions…for her feelings about Tara…for the way she’d just tried to use him, to prove to herself she wasn’t gay…but what if she was? It wouldn’t be fair to stay with Oz if she were gay…although, she did love him, but was she in love with him? Things were terribly confusing for her right now.

Oz lifted his hands and tenderly wiped the tears from his girlfriend’s cheeks. “In my whole life,” he began, gently guiding her forehead to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against her skin. “I’ve never loved anything or anyone more than I love you,” he whispered the words, locking his eyes meaningfully with Willow’s.

“Oh Oz,” Willow sighed, wrapping her arms around Oz’s back as she dropped her head to his shoulder.

Oz moved his own arms around Willow, pulling her closer to him as she began to cry softly. “It’s okay Will,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss against her hair, “whatever it is, it’s okay. You can tell me…I’ll understand…”

Willow didn’t think he would, but she was already too far gone to pay attention to her thoughts. The events of the past few days came crashing all around her, and she simply couldn’t hold it back anymore. “I love you too, Oz,” she sobbed, “but I…I don’t think I love you how you want me to love you.”

“What do you mean?” he whispered against her hair.

“I’m so confused,” she cried, her sobs still wracking her body. “I…I don’t know who I am anymore Oz…what I want, I…I…I…”

It took Oz only a second to realize what was going on here. He’d known that the relationship between Willow and Tara was complex, that they shared a deep connection, one that he would never be a part of. He’d seen them get closer, and closer to one another, seen them develop a really strong friendship…He should’ve known it was more than that. Well, actually…he had known, he’d just hoped he’d been wrong—preferred to remain in denial.

“It’s Tara, isn’t it?” he asked her softly, grasping her cheeks in his hands and lifting her head up to meet his gaze.

Willow was shocked by her boyfriend’s words. How did he know about that? “How—?”

“So I’m right?” he sighed, his final hope dashed by the confirmation he saw in her eyes.

“How did you know something happened between me and Tara?”

“Something happened?”

“You mean you didn’t know?”

“Not that something had happened,” he shook his head. “But I could tell there was something between you…something more than just friendship.”

“You’re wrong,” she sighed. “All Tara wants is friendship—she’s not interested in me that way…she’s got Faith…”

“But something happened between you?” Oz asked again, needing to know the truth.

Willow nodded, as the tears returned to her eyes. “But it was a mistake…and now she just wants to be friends, and…and I don’t know who I am anymore. Why would I have these feelings for her…she’s a girl? Am I gay Oz? Is that why I feel like I do…? I don’t wanna be gay…I wanna be with you, but…but I just can’t stop thinking about her…thinking about her kisses…the way her lips felt against mine…how she smells…the softness of her skin, and…and she just wants to be friends…but I can’t stop thinking about her, fantasizing about her…I want her…” Willow trailed off as she began to sob again, wrapping her arms around her own legs as she dropped her head to her knees.

Oz didn’t want to hear this, didn’t want to believe it was happening, and he could feel a rage burning inside him as he took in his girlfriend’s words. She’d kissed Tara—more than once. She fantasized about this girl…how could he compete with that? He loved her, and he didn’t want to lose her, and the anger inside him was making him feel like…like he was completely at one with his primal side. The only time he ever felt like this was before a full moon, and…suddenly, he realized what he was doing.

Closing his eyes, he willed himself to relax, reminding himself to keep calm. Here was his girlfriend, crying her eyes out, confused about who she was…about her sexuality. It wasn’t her fault she felt like she did…and she didn’t need him to wolf out on her now—she needed his support. She’d obviously wanted to confide in him, wanted his help. Why else would she have brought him here? She would’ve known he’d see through her charade, called her up on why she was so desperate to make love to him. His poor Willow, she must be feeling so confused, so terrified…

“Oh Will,” he sighed, putting his arms around her back and dropping his head to her shoulder. This just made her cry even harder, so he tightened his hold on her and simply allowed her to release her pain.

After a moment, he began to cry too, he needed another avenue, besides wolfing out, to release his own pain. He cried silently though, allowing the tears to fall gently down his cheeks, not making a sound as he mourned the loss of their relationship. He knew things would never be the same between them again, that Willow would need to figure out who she really was, and even though a part of him hoped that she would come to realize that it was him she loved—that she wasn’t gay…the logical part of him knew otherwise.

He’d seen the way she looked at Tara, the way they interacted with one another, and he knew that despite what Willow said, the two of them would never be ‘just friends.’. A person would have to be blind to think otherwise. Although, even if she and Tara never became anything more than friends, the seeds had been sown. Willow obviously had the ability to be attracted to women, and if Tara wasn’t ‘the one,’, then she might inevitably seek another woman to fill that position.

As they continued to cry in each other’s arms, Oz began to slowly realize what had to be done. He had to let her Willow go, give her the chance to find out who she really was. Who knew, maybe if he was lucky, she’d decide it was him she wanted…but he wouldn’t hold his breath—and he wouldn’t hold her to him just because he was afraid she’d never come back. If Tara made her happy, if another woman made her happy, then that was all that mattered.

He meant what he said about loving her, and as such he just wanted her to be happy. Besides, a part of him had always been afraid his Wolf would hurt her one day…that it would inevitably drive a wedge between them…that his dark- side would cause her pain. His selfishness had ignored this fear, but maybe this was just Fate’s way of telling him it was time to stop ignoring it. Maybe it was time for him to finally do the right thing…?

“I love you Will,” he whispered softly to her, “and I…I want you to be happy.”

Willow lifted her tear-filled eyes at Oz’s words, and tentatively met his gaze. “That’s the problem,” she sighed, her tears streaming down her cheeks, “I…I don’t know what I want anymore…what’ll make me happy…”

Oz lifted his hands and lovingly cupped her face, gently wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I know that Will…that’s why I’m giving you time…time to decide what you want…who you want. You’re free to be with whoever you want to be—even Tara.”

“But Tara doesn’t want me…” she sobbed, a new wave of tears reaching her cheeks.

“Maybe…” Oz sighed, “but…maybe she does…and even if she doesn’t…if you want her…then you don’t want me, and…and I don’t want to be your second choice Willow, you either want me or you don’t. You need to figure out who you are…where your feelings lie, and…if they don’t lie with me…then I refuse to be your substitute. I deserve more, you deserve more, and…this is not just about Tara. If Tara doesn’t want you…and you really are gay…well, you’ll only be happy with another girl, and…as much as I love you…I don’t think I’m willing to change that much for you,” he chuckled.

Willow couldn’t help but smile at Oz’s words—his wry humor always reared its head in tense situations. It was just one of the things she loved about him. He was right though, this wasn’t just about Tara. She needed to figure out who she was, and…and she had a sneaking suspicion that she really was gay. It would definitely explain why she’d always felt something was missing in her relationship with Oz…explain why she felt so attracted to Tara…why a single kiss from Tara had moved her almost to the point of tears.

This scared her though, complicated her life terribly. As if her life wasn’t complicated enough as it were. It wasn’t enough to be best friends with the Slayer and to live on a Hellmouth…but she had to be gay as well…and want a girl she could never have. Oh no…her life was definitely not complicated…

She sighed at her sarcastic thoughts, causing Oz to raise an eyebrow in question.

“What?” he asked her softly.

“Things are so complicated,” she stated. “I mean I…I really think I could be gay Oz, and…and what’s everyone gonna say…how am I gonna tell ‘em…? I don’t wanna be gay…and…and the girl I want doesn’t even want me back and…and how can I be just friends with her…what am I gonna do…what am I gonna do…?” she trailed off as she started sobbing again.

“Shh Will,” Oz whispered gently, pulling her back into his arms. “It’s gonna be okay…I’m here…I’ll be here for you Will…everything’s gonna be fine…shh…shh…”

He let her cry for a while, and when her sobs eventually started to ease up, he pulled away and smiled warmly at her. He couldn’t help noticing the circles under her eyes…the sheer exhaustion displayed on her face.

“You’re tired,” he told her softly, getting up off the bed. “I’ll get you a nightshirt,” he continued, walking to her dresser.

Willow watched him in silence, too worn out to argue. In fact, she was so worn out emotionally, that she didn’t even protest when he unbuttoned her blouse and slipped it from her shoulders, before pulling the nightshirt over her head. She just silently allowed him to dress her…to take her jeans off…slip her shoes off her feet…tuck her in under the covers, before taking off his own clothes.

Dressed only in his boxers, Oz slipped under the covers and pressed himself against Willow’s back, spooning her to him. He knew she wouldn’t want to be alone tonight…and he just wanted to hold her…comfort her…make sure she at least got some sleep.

***

When Tara woke up the next morning, she still didn’t know what to do. She knew Willow had misunderstood her when she’d pulled away from their kiss, the girl had just assumed that it meant she didn’t want to kiss her again…that she regretted her actions.

She’d done nothing to dissuade her though, allowed her to leave the room…not gone after her…terrified she’d ruined their friendship. That was the most important thing to Tara—Willow’s friendship…she didn’t want to lose the girl…besides, she’d never figured they’d ever be anything other than friends.

Although, for a brief moment after their kisses, she’d allowed herself to hope that maybe…just maybe Willow would see her as more than just a friend. Their kisses had been so hot, so sensual, so spiritual…How could she not think that Willow might want more? She knew differently now though…But what if she was mistaken—what if Willow actually did want more, and because she’d pulled away…

Whatever Willow thought, Tara realized she’d have to put herself on the line and tell her the truth. Too much had happened between them, and she could never be ‘just friends’ with Willow—not if Willow didn’t know how she really felt. If she told Willow she wanted more than friendship…then at least Willow would be aware of how she felt. She didn’t know how much longer she could successfully temper the effect of seeing Willow and Oz together romantically. She would certainly slip up soon and then her secret crush would be out. Better to be honest and up front about it.

She couldn’t be Willow’s friend if she lied to her…and it would be a lie not to tell her how she felt. Even if Willow didn’t feel the same way about her, at least she’d know…and then she’d be free to be herself, she wouldn’t have to hide her feelings. She’d tell Willow that she understood if all she wanted was friendship…she wouldn’t push her into anything else…but would let her know she wanted more.

Yeah, Tara thought to herself as she got dressed. I’ll tell her how I feel…let her know the truth, and then put the ball in her court. I have to be honest with her…she deserves the truth…

With that thought, she quickly finished buttoning her jeans and lacing up her boots, before heading out the door. It didn’t take her long to reach Willow’s, especially since she practically ran most of the way there. When she arrived at Willow’s house, she moved to knock on the front door, and then realized that Willow most likely wouldn’t hear her knocking, especially if she was still asleep. It was early after all, just after 6am.

With that, she made her way to the back of the house, and up the grassy hill that led to Willow’s bedroom. The French doors were closed so she couldn’t tell if Willow was asleep or not. Taking a deep breath, Tara tapped on the door a couple of times with her knuckles, warning Willow of her presence, before unlocking the latch with a muttered spell. As she entered Willow’s room, she couldn’t help but wish she’d waited for an answer…or better yet not come here at all.

She couldn’t move…she was rooted to the floor, shocked by the sight of Willow and Oz curled up together, with Oz naked from the waist up—or so she assumed. She couldn’t really tell if he had any boxers on underneath the covers…and she didn’t really want to know. It was obvious to her what had happened…obvious Willow had slept with him. What other explanation could there be? Sure, Willow had her nightshirt on, but that didn’t mean sex hadn’t taken place. She could’ve just gotten cold during the night. If they hadn’t had sex…then why was Oz practically naked…and why were they asleep together?

Willow stirred as the light tapping on her French Doors broke her slumber. It took her a moment to fully wake up though, and when she did, the first thing she noticed was Oz’s arm wrapped around her waist. She immediately remembered what had happened last night, and smiled at his thoughtfulness.

“Mmm,” she sighed, placing her own arm against Oz’s, tightening his hold on her. She was very grateful for the comfort he’d given her…for the love and friendship he’d shown her. True friends were very hard to come by…and she was lucky to have someone like Oz…lucky to have someone so understanding.

“Oh God,” Tara choked on her own tears, witnessing Willow’s reaction. The girl seemed so happy…pleased with herself…

The last miniscule remaining doubt as to what had happened, now left Tara’s mind completely. The smile on Willow’s face as she’d woken up, realized she was with Oz…well…that told her exactly how the girl felt. Willow loved him…she’d made love with him…and she didn’t regret it…he made her happy. Any hope of something other than friendship with Willow was now gone…the girl had made her choice—and it wasn’t her.

Willow sat up in surprise when she heard Tara’s voice, her sudden movement causing Oz to stir. “Tara?” she said her name in shock. “W-w-what are…” she trailed off as she suddenly noticed the pain in the girl’s eyes…saw her tears. Why was she upset…? Oh…

Willow looked over to where Oz was now sitting up next to her, and then back at Tara.

“It’s not—”

“D-d-d-don’t,” Tara cut her off, not wanting to hear any explanation—she’d seen enough. “I g-g-get it,” she said through her tears, “and I…I’m hap-hap-happy for you Will…really…”

Willow felt tears come to her own eyes as she witnessed the utter anguish in Tara’s. “You don’t understand,” she insisted, desperate to let her know the truth. She pulled the covers from her body and took a step towards Tara, torn up by the pain she saw in her eyes, instinctively wanting to comfort her.

Tara just shook her head as she took a step back, not wanting Willow to touch her. She didn’t think she’d be able to hold herself together if Willow tried to comfort her. “P-p-p-please,” she pleaded with her, holding her hands up to keep her at bay. “I…I n-n-n-n-need to-to g-g-g-go,” she stammered, taking another step backwards.

“But…” Willow cried, ignoring Tara’s plea as she continued to move towards her and reached her arms out.

Tara just shook her head as she took another step backwards, before turning around and breaking into a sprint. She ran as fast as she could…running away from her pain…from Willow…from Oz…from the sight of them…hoping that the faster she ran, the quicker she’d get the image of them out of her head. It didn’t work though, the image stayed with her, despite the tears that blinded her regular sight. The image of Willow and Oz curled up in bed would forever haunt her…

She was so blinded by her tears, and her pain, and her desperate need to get home, that she didn’t notice anything or anyone around her. Which is why she was suddenly shocked to feel two strong hands against her shoulders, stopping her movements.

Lifting her head up, she was surprised to find herself looking into the eyes of her newest friend. “F-F-F-Faith?” she stammered her name, tears streaming down her cheeks. “W-w-what are you doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing Blondie,” Faith replied, keeping her hold on the girl’s shoulders. “I was just coming home from a night of slayage—and then the next thing I know you come heading straight for me. You would’ve knocked me clear to the ground if I weren’t a Slayer.”

“Oh,” Tara replied, only half taking in her words. The pain in her chest was just too great to ignore…and the tears simply would not stop falling.

Faith noticed this, noticed the pain in her eyes, and suddenly felt very protective. “Are you okay?” she growled. “Did someone hurt you…try to…Oh God Tara, just point me to the bastard who did this to you, and I’ll make sure they’re kissing daisies in no time…”

Tara shook her head, realizing what Faith was thinking. “It’s n-n-not like that,” she sighed. “I j-j-just…I…I don’t w-w-wanna talk about it. I just wanna get home.”

Faith relaxed a little at Tara’s words, her fears relieved somewhat. However, she could see that something had definitely upset her…and she wasn’t gonna leave her alone until she found out. “Fine,” she told her, letting go of her shoulders, only to take her hand instead. “We won’t talk here…but you’re gonna tell me when we get home,” she demanded, dragging Tara along as she began to walk.

Tara knew it would do no good to protest, so she allowed Faith to walk her the rest of the way to her dorm. She didn’t say a word to her during the trip though, her pain still too great to talk about. What’s more, she felt like she was in a daze…as if what she’d seen wasn’t real…like she’d just imagined it, as if it were only a bad dream.

***

Willow watched helplessly as Tara ran from her room, wanting desperately to go after her, but knowing her company would be unwelcomed. It hurt her to see Tara in so much pain…hurt her almost as much as if the pain were her own.

“Oh God, Oz,” she sighed, taking a seat back on the bed. “She thinks we…” she trailed off, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Oz smiled at his ex-girlfriend and placed a hand gently on her knee. “Bright side…” he ventured.

Willow looked at him in confusion. “What bright side?’ she demanded with frustration. “How can you see a bright side in all this?”

Oz merely chuckled in response. “You really think she’d be this upset if she just wanted to be you your friend?” he explained.

It took Willow a moment to realize what he was implying, but when she did, a huge smile lit her face and she flung her arms around her ex-boyfriend.

“You’re right,” she exclaimed, pulling away from the hug. “I…I have to go after her…”

With that, she leapt off the bed and headed straight for the door.

“Uh…Will…” Oz ventured, smiling adoringly at her.

“What is it?” she turned around, eager to leave.

“You sure you wanna go out like that?” he asked, pointing to her nightshirt, which only reached halfway down her thighs.

Willow looked down at what she was wearing, and then back up at Oz. “Oh,” she smiled sheepishly, moving towards her dresser. “I guess I forgot…”

“Understandable,” Oz smiled, watching in silence as Willow quickly located a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, before disappearing behind her change screen.

He took the time to put his own pants on, and slip his shirt over his head. “I’m gonna let myself out,” he told her as he put on his shoes.

“Okay,” Willow replied, stepping out from behind the screen. “I, uh…” she moved to where he was crouching.

Oz stood up and smiled at his ex-girlfriend. “I know,” he whispered, acknowledging her wordless thanks. “Like I told you last year, I don’t need thanks,” he grinned, referring to the time he’d stepped in front of a bullet for her. “So no thanks…okay?”

“Okay,” Willow grinned back, her eyes shining with fresh tears.

“I’ll see ya, Will,” Oz whispered, lifting a hand up to wipe her tears. “Good luck.”

With that, he turned around and walked out of her bedroom, choosing to exit by the front door. As he headed outside, he couldn’t stop the sudden tears that reached his own eyes. He knew that letting Willow go was the right thing to do…but he was sure gonna miss her…and even though he’d still be around, still be her friend…things were never going to be the same.

It would be difficult being just her friend, and under normal circumstances he would probably break all contact with her for a while. However, she was gonna need him. If she really were gay…she’d need all the support she could get.

Although, even if Tara didn’t want her, he knew she’d still be there for Willow when she came out…she’d have someone…but she’d still need his friendship. He knew his Will, she was very sensitive, always seeking approval…and coming out was going to be one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do.

As he reached his van, Oz made a pact with himself that no matter how hard this was for him, he’d make sure to remain by Willow’s side, to be her friend for as long as she needed him. How could he not when he loved her so much? With that thought, he started the engine and headed off home—eager to get to his guitar. Music was the only thing that could offer him any kind of peace…and boy did he need some right now.

***

“So tell me what happened,” Faith demanded as she closed the door of Tara’s room. “What made you get so upset this morning? It’s barely 6am…”

Tara took a seat on her bed and sighed.

“Let me guess,” Faith quipped, taking a seat next to the blonde. “This have something to do with Red?”

Tara opened her mouth to respond, but the image of Willow and Oz returned to her, and she burst into tears. She dropped her head in anguish, and lifted her hands to cover her face.

Suddenly, Faith found herself in the position of having to offer Tara comfort. Without hesitation, she reached for the girl and put her arms around her, holding her close as she continued to cry. She wasn’t used to playing the nursemaid, but there was just something about Tara that brought out her protective side.

“It’s okay Blondie,” she whispered, “whatever it is…”

“Sh-sh-sh-she s-s-s-s-slept w-w-w-with h-h-h-him,” Tara stammered through her tears. “Sh-sh-sh-she slept w-w-w-with him…”

This surprised Faith a little, she’d never figured Red would do something so drastic…she’d been certain that Red was simply in denial. She’d seen the way she’d looked at her, noticed the obvious jealousy in her gaze.

“Are you sure?” she asked gently. “I mean…Red doesn’t seem like the type who’d—”

“I s-s-s-saw them,” Tara sobbed, burying her head even further into Faith’s shoulder. “I w-w-w-went to t-t-t-talk to W-W-W-Willow this m-m-m-morning, and I-I-I-I…ohhhh…” she trailed off, unable to speak anymore—her pain was just too great.

As Faith held her close, allowed her to let loose with the tears, she found herself wanting to physically hurt Red. This wasn’t a new feeling for her, wanting to do violence came like second nature to her…but compassion…concern…protectiveness…those were new. Hearing the pain in Tara’s voice…witnessing her distress…Faith couldn’t help feeling as if it were her job to look after Tara…as if she were like the little sister she’d never had.

This threw her a little…desire…attraction…that she could understand—but what she felt right now had nothing to do with that. She’d never really had much of a family growing up…wasn’t used to caring about anyone other than herself…so these familial-type feelings she had for Tara were very unsettling.

Suddenly, she had the urge to pull away, to deny the compassion she felt…the tenderness. However, Tara’s pain was just so great…and the part of her that felt this compassion just wouldn’t let her pull away. This is why she simply continued to hold Tara in her arms…allowed her to cry softly…not offering her any empty platitudes, just being there for her.

***

Willow stood outside Tara’s door, contemplating her next move. She knew the girl was upset…that she thought she and Oz had slept together…and as a result, she also knew that Tara probably didn’t feel like seeing her right now. However, she simply couldn’t let Tara go on believing a lie, especially since it was hurting her. Seeing the pain in her eyes…the anguish…well, that had cut straight through to Willow’s core. She hated the idea that she was the cause of Tara’s pain…but like Oz had pointed out, there was a bright side.

Tara would not have been so upset if all she’d wanted was friendship…would she? What other reason could there be…? Willow knew she had to find out the truth, knew they had to sort this mess out once and for all. They should’ve had this talk the other day—when they’d first kissed. She should have just gone to Tara’s and told her the truth. If she had, then she never would have caused Tara so much pain. What’s more, she knew that regardless of how Tara felt, she deserved to know how she really felt…deserved to know that her feelings ran deeper than just friendship.

She still wasn’t a hundred percent sure that her feelings meant she was in love, but there were definite feelings…and they were most assuredly of the non-friendship type variety. Kissing Tara had opened her eyes…had helped her to understand all the confusion she’d felt since she’d first met the girl. From the moment their hands had clasped…the electricity that had passed between them …the way they seemed to connect…right up until their fluke-y kiss. Willow now knew she’d been a fool to blame it all on magick—sure, magick was involved…but not necessarily of the mystical kind. Magick had just been her way of explaining what was happening…explaining away the sexual tension…the connection…the heat…

If her feelings for Tara meant that she was gay…well that was another thing she couldn’t ignore…another thing Oz had been right about. If she was gay…then she had to come to terms with that fact…accept who she was…and figure out how her life was gonna change as a result. She also knew that she couldn’t do this without Tara. Regardless of how the girl felt about her…she was gay…she’d been through this all before…and Willow could really use her advice right about now. Tara was already her mystical teacher…would she agree to teach her about being gay as well?

Maybe she should put aside her romantic feelings for Tara, at least for the moment. She was already so confused…scared…and if Tara did have feelings for her…was she ready to have her as a girlfriend? She hadn’t even come out yet…wasn’t even used to the idea that she was gay…having a girlfriend might make the whole process more difficult…or adversely—much easier.

What was she to do? What was she to say? Did she want to ask Tara to be her girlfriend…or just ask her to be there for her when she came out…teach her about being gay? What’s more…she didn’t think she could handle it if Tara didn’t feel the same way. Realizing you’re gay was difficult enough…but asking the girl you’d been fantasizing about to be your girlfriend—and then hearing her refusal…well, that was just a little bit more than she thought she could handle. Tara had already rejected her kisses…what made her think she wouldn’t reject her again?

The look of pain on her face…her reaction to seeing her with Oz…that’s what made her think Tara might not reject her. Although, even if Tara was interested in her…if she did think of her as more than a friend…she still had Faith…didn’t she? What role did Faith play in all this? What if Tara had come by to tell her that she had feelings for her…but that she cared about Faith more, that would explain her reaction…?

Willow didn’t know how long she stood outside of Tara’s door…all she knew was that she simply couldn’t decide what to do, what she wanted. However, she also knew that she couldn’t just stand out here all day, she’d have to face the music eventually. She decided to just tell Tara the truth…to tell her that she had feelings for her…to tell her that she didn’t know what to do…and then she’d ask for her advice. Tara was already her teacher…experienced with the magicks…but Tara also had more experience when it came to being gay…and right now Willow trusted her judgment better than her own. Tara would know what to do…how to handle this—she always knew things.

With that thought in mind, Willow opened the door to Tara’s room. She didn’t bother with knocking, figuring the girl would most likely not let her in anyway. She’d been terribly upset when she’d rushed off…hadn’t even wanted her touch…and she most likely still felt that way. It would be easier for her if she didn’t announce her presence—or so she’d thought. She couldn’t have been more wrong…

The instant Willow stepped into Tara’s room, she closed the door behind her and almost fainted from the shock of finding Tara in Faith’s arms—with her head buried deep against the Slayer’s shoulder. What’s more, the look in Faith’s eye was one of utter compassion…a look she’d never thought she’d see originate from the angry Slayer. Faith cared about Tara…there was affection between them…their relationship wasn’t just about sex…?

That wasn’t the worst part though, because the next instant, Faith looked up and met Willow’s eyes and before Willow could even take another breath, the Slayer unlinked her arms from around Tara, leapt off the bed…and then the world suddenly turned black for Willow.

***

Faith looked up as she heard the sound of a door closing, her Slayer senses allowing her to pick up on sounds that others might not have heard. When her eyes met Red’s however, she felt a sudden rage burning inside her. How dare she just show up like that? Didn’t she know how much she’d hurt Blondie…how much pain the poor girl was in? How could she have hurt Tara…? The girl was in so much pain here…and Red had the nerve to just barge in through the door…not even announce her presence…She need’s to be taught a lesson…

Those were the last thoughts in Faith’s head as she let go of Tara. Her anger was now so intense that she instinctively lunged for the person behind her friend’s pain. Using all of her Slayer strength, she landed a hard right hook to Willow’s jaw, thrusting the girl’s head roughly against the door. Pleased with herself, Faith smiled in satisfaction as she watched Red slide limply down to the floor, glad to have knocked the girl out cold. That’d teach her to hurt Blondie.

Tara watched Faith’s attack in horror…saw her sweet Willow slip into unconsciousness. She instantly went to Willow’s side, pushing the misguided Slayer out of the way as she knelt down next to the woman she loved.

“Oh God,” she sobbed, placing a tender hand on Willow’s cheek. “What have you done?” she demanded of Faith, turning her head up towards the Slayer.

Faith looked down at Tara in surprise, wondering why she was so upset. “I just knocked her out for you,” she said nonchalantly, grinning at her accomplishment. “No need to thank me…she should only be out for a few hours.”

Tara blinked away the tears in her eyes, her mouth opening in shock at the Slayer’s words. Willow would be unconscious for a few hours…what if she had a concussion…what if she never woke up…what if she had brain damage…? Tara had never been the violent type…didn’t believe in hurting other people in any way…but as she looked up at Faith, saw her utter disregard for Willow’s condition…saw the way she seemed to be almost happy to have hurt her …well, she suddenly felt like doing a bit of violence herself.

“How could you hurt her?” she practically yelled at Faith, lifting herself up off the floor. Her anger at seeing Willow so hurt was affecting her in a way she’d never thought possible. Tara had never felt this much anger in her whole life…not even at her dad…and it was now taking all of her willpower not to magickally lift the Slayer into the air and fling her hard against the wall…hurt her in the same way as she’d hurt Willow.

“She hurt you,” Faith explained, reaching her hands for Tara’s shoulders.

“Don’t touch me,” Tara backed away, her voice seething.

“I was doing you a favor,” Faith continued, becoming confused by the blonde’s reaction.

“By hurting the woman I love?” Tara spat out.

Faith merely shook her head in bewilderment. “I thought we were friends…anyone hurts my friends, I hurt ‘em back. That’s just the way it goes…”

“That’s not the way it goes,” Tara continued, her anger allowing her to speak without stuttering. “By hurting someone I love…you hurt me. Don’t you get it, her pain is my pain. It hurts me more to see her in pain than…than…well, than seeing her with Oz.”

Faith didn’t understand this though…couldn’t get why Tara was so angry with her. Hadn’t Red hurt her…wouldn’t it be natural to wanna hurt her back? That’s what she’d want. If anyone had hurt her as much as Willow had hurt Tara…well…they’d be more than just knocked unconscious now, they’d probably be in traction. An eye for an eye, that was her motto, well, one of them anyway. She just couldn’t believe how easily Blondie had turned on her. She knew she shouldn’t have trusted her…

“Fine then,” she growled at the ungrateful witch, “I’m outta here…knew the friend thing was a waste of time.”

Tara sighed as she watched Faith step over Willow’s unconscious form and head for the door. Much as she hated what Faith had done…she didn’t actually hate Faith herself. She knew the Slayer had only acted out of a form of misguided justice…acted out of instinct…out of friendship.

“Faith wait,” she ventured.

Faith opened the door and turned around to face Tara. “I know,” she snapped, “don’t bother coming back…”

Tara shook her head in response. “That’s not what I was gonna say,” she insisted firmly.

“Then what?” Faith sighed, an angry scowl on her face.

“Can you help me get Willow to the bed?” she asked her softly. “I…I don’t think I can lift her myself and…and I…I don’t wanna leave her on the floor…and also, um…could you get the campus nurse to have a look at her? I don’t wanna leave her alone, but I wanna make sure she’s okay…”

“You want me to help you?” Faith asked in surprise. “I’d have thought you’d want me as far away as possible…seeing as I’ve just hurt your precious Willow,” she spat the girl’s name out, frowning at the blonde.

“I can’t do this alone Faith,” Tara explained, moving to kneel back down next to Willow, “and I…I don’t hate you…I just hate what you’ve done.”

Faith couldn’t have been more confused if she’d tried. Blondie always surprised her…she never said what she expected her to say. How could the girl be so angry with her…and yet not hate her…? Was she saying she still wanted her as a friend?

“What do you mean?” Faith asked, undecided over what she should do.

Tara looked up at Faith and sighed, knowing she needed to explain things further to her. The girl was more messed up than she’d thought…

“I love Willow,” Tara began, “and…and I know you have no idea what that means…I know you only did what you thought was right…out of friendship. That’s the only reason why I’m able to forgive you…why I don’t hate you…but if you ever hurt Willow again…” she trailed off, not wanting to finish her threat. She knew the Slayer understood what she meant.

Faith looked at Tara for a moment…really looked at her…noticed the pain in her eyes…the concern…and she also noticed her sudden lack of anger. Tara didn’t hate her…she still wanted her friendship…she understood her. It was then that Faith began to realize, at least partly, the ramifications of what she’d done. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to hurt Red—not if it hurt Blondie in the process…?

Without a word, Faith moved towards Willow and deftly scooped the girl up into her arms. She placed her gently on the bed and then headed for the door. “I’ll get a nurse to drop by,” she said over her shoulder, “and I’ll…see ya ‘round. Probably not at the dance though…figure you’d wanna give it a miss now…take care of Red or something…”

At Tara’s nod of confirmation, Faith went straight to the campus medical centre—after asking a kid how to get there. She gave Tara’s dorm number to the receptionist and told her a girl had been knocked out and needed to be checked over by a nurse. When she was happy that one would be sent over, Faith left the building and headed off towards her motel room.

On her way there, she cursed the fact that it was daylight—her encounter with Tara had left her utterly confused…and slayage was her favorite way to get her mind off things. Half way to her room though, Faith got an idea, she decided to head towards the high school instead. It was early, still not even 7am and she figured what better way to relieve some tension than by hitting it up with Buffy in the library, get a bit of training done before the gang showed up…? She’d call the girl from the library…ask her to come ‘round so they could get good and sweaty.

However, when she reached the library that morning, another opportunity presented itself. Xander had come into school early so as to get away from another one of his parents arguments. As usual, he headed off to the library, wondering if any of the Scoobies were around.

Seeing as the library was deserted and feeling totally adventurous, Faith decided that a bit of layage would be a better way to spend her morning…to forget her confusion. It didn’t take her long to convince Xander of that either. Oh sure, he’d he protested at first…said they were in the library…anyone could walk in…and what about Cordelia…he did have a girlfriend…But when she’d ripped off his shirt, pressed herself against him…touched his hardness…well…needless to say those excuses soon went out the window.

She had to admit though, doing it on the top floor of the library behind one of the bookshelves was definitely a fun way to spend her morning. It had even helped her to momentarily forget about Tara and the whole friendship thing. Give her a roll in the hay any day…nothing confusing about sex…like she always said, ‘love was for suckers.’

***

Tara smiled gratefully at the nurse as she left her room, pleased that Willow didn’t have a concussion. The nurse had said that Willow would be fine—there didn’t seem to be any lasting damage, and the girl would probably wake up in an hour or two. She’d advised Tara to make sure Willow got plenty of rest though, and had left a bottle of aspirin to help with the inevitable headache the girl would have.

Closing the door behind the nurse, Tara placed the bottle of aspirin on her bedside table and unlaced her boots. She then crawled onto the bed next to Willow and lay down on her side facing the girl, determined to be there for her when she woke up. Looking at the peacefulness of her expression…Tara couldn’t help but lean over and place a soft kiss against her cheek.

“My poor Willow,” she whispered as she pulled away, “what has Faith done to you?” She sighed as she rested her head back down on the pillow and returned to simply gazing at Willow. She hoped the girl would be okay, hoped the nurse had been right about her not sustaining any lasting damage. Although, she was just a nurse, what did she know? Should she take Willow to a hospital…get a doctor to check her out? She wanted to be totally sure that Willow would be okay.

What if the nurse had been wrong, what if Willow didn’t wake up in a few hours, what if she never woke up? Tara had no idea what she’d do if Willow was seriously hurt, if she left her. Seeing her in pain…unconscious…well, it was tearing her up inside. She cared about her so much…and up until the moment she’d seen Faith punch her, she hadn’t known exactly how deep her emotions ran. However, the instant Willow had collapsed—Tara had known without a doubt that she was in love with the girl.

The realization had dawned on her immediately, and as she’d reached her side, she’d felt as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest. She hadn’t cared anymore about what she’d seen that morning…hadn’t cared that Willow just wanted to be her friend. At that moment, her love for the girl had washed over her so intensely, that all she’d cared about was her safety. She just wanted Willow to be alive and well and happy, nothing else mattered. So what if Willow was in love with Oz, he obviously made her happy…and that made Tara happy.

As she continued to look at Willow’s unconscious state, Tara began to feel more and more love for the girl. She also began to feel more and more anguish as well. Even though Willow seemed so peaceful, Tara knew she would wake up in pain, if she ever woke up at all. As the minutes continued to tick by, her fear for Willow’s safety continued to grow, and she began to let loose with a few stray tears. Her stray tears soon turned into a torrent of tears, until eventually, she was sobbing so deeply that she had unwittingly buried her head against Willow’s shoulder and wrapped her arm around the girl’s waist. The thought of losing her…of her being in pain…well, it just broke her.

***

As the world slowly began to return to her…as she tentatively crawled out of the blackness that had surrounded her, the first thing Willow noticed was the throbbing pain in the back of her head and the dull ache in her jaw. The second thing she noticed was the arm around her waist and the head buried in her shoulder. Who was holding her…crying on her shoulder…why were they sobbing…and why was she lying down on her back…in bed…what the hell has happened?

The last thing I remember is opening Tara’s door…seeing her with Faith…and…Tara…it has to be Tara…who else would it be? Okay, so Tara’s crying on my shoulder…Why is Tara crying on my shoulder? What’s going on here…and what the hell happened to Faith? Well…it might help if you opened your eyes…

Opening her eyes gingerly, Willow had to blink a few times to get used to the brightness. She then attempted to turn her head to the right, but the slightest movement had caused her to feel a little nauseous, so she decided to stay where she was for the moment. She still needed to know who was holding onto her though…and why they were crying.

“Tara,” she whispered, “is that you? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“Will?” Tara replied, lifting her head from Willow’s shoulder, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You’re awake…?” she tightened her grip on Willow’s waist and used her other arm to lean against as she lifted herself up.

“Hey Tara,” Willow smiled, “I’m awake…but I kinda feel like a Mack truck hit me or something,” she chuckled.

“Oh my God Will,” Tara sighed, still unable to quite believe her eyes. Willow was awake, she was lucid, and she was even cracking jokes…she was okay. “You’re okay,” she continued, leaning over to kiss her forehead, “you’re okay,” she repeated, kissing her cheek this time. She then kissed her other cheek, and then the tip of her nose, her left eye, her right eye, her cheek again, her other cheek, her forehead, her cheek, her jaw…and eventually pressed her lips firmly against Willow’s.

As soon as Tara’s lips touched hers, Willow instinctively reached for Tara, and now had both arms wrapped tightly around her back. She didn’t know why Tara was kissing her, why she’d been so upset, but Willow didn’t know a lot of things at that moment.

As she showered kisses all over Willow’s face, Tara wasn’t really thinking straight. She wasn’t really aware that her actions might be deemed inappropriate…that Willow wasn’t her girlfriend, and that she technically had no right to be doing this. All she knew was that Willow was awake, she was okay, and Tara just had to express her elation of the fact.

Willow was a little surprised by the sudden bombardment of kisses, however, she did nothing to stop them. In fact, she actually welcomed them…enjoying the feel of Tara’s lips against her skin…her cheeks…her face…and now her lips. Whatever had caused Tara to react this way was quite okay in Willow’s book. Feeling Tara’s lips against hers was like heaven…absolutely invigorating.

She did nothing to deepen the kiss though, and neither did Tara. The two were simply glad to just lie there and press their lips together, opening and closing them ever so slowly. The kiss had started out as a simple peck, but had now escalated into a very sensuous, very slow, merging of lips. They took their time to enjoy the kiss…to open and close their mouths at a very leisurely pace.

After a while, Tara eventually began to realize what she was doing and immediately pulled away from the kiss. “Oh Will,” she sighed, fresh tears in her eyes, “I-I-I-I…I’m s-s-s-so s-s-s-s-sorry, I…”

Willow smiled as she looked up at the stricken face of her friend. “It’s okay Tara,” she said softly, reaching a hand to her cheek and gently wiping away a tear. “I could definitely get used to this,” she continued huskily, doing her best to sound sexy. Whatever the reason Tara had for kissing her…whether or not it was appropriate, Willow couldn’t help but enjoy the experience. She’d only just come to terms with her attraction for Tara, and the girl’s sudden rain of kisses gave her hope…

Tara was a little surprised by Willow’s reaction, surprised that the girl hadn’t been more affronted. Wasn’t Willow in love with Oz…why would she respond so favorably to my kisses? Did it have something to do with her ‘knock out’?’ Was it a form of amnesia…?

“Are you sure you’re okay Will?” Tara insisted, moving up to a sitting position. “You do remember what happened last night…this morning…?”

“Oh,” Willow’s eyes widened in understanding. “You think…oh…Tara, it’s…it’s not what you think. What you saw this morning wasn’t—”

“It’s okay Will,” Tara interrupted, placing a gentle finger against her lips. “I understand,” she smiled, emphasizing her point. “You f-f-finally realized you’re in l-l-love with Oz…I get it and…it’s only n-n-natural that you’d w-w-wanna m-m-make love…”

Willow’s smile widened, Tara couldn’t have been more wrong. “It’s not what you think,” she insisted, lifting her hand away from her lips and lacing their fingers together. She rested their hands by her side as she continued her explanation. “I’m not in love with Oz…”

“You’re not?” Tara’s asked in confusion.

Willow shook her head in response. “Oz isn’t even my boyfriend anymore…”

Tara didn’t know what to think of this, what to make of Willow’s revelation. “He’s not?”

“Well…” Willow began, her smile widening, “you can’t have a boyfriend when…when you’re, you know…kinda gay…”

This confused Tara even more. What did she mean by ‘kinda gay’? And if she wasn’t with Oz anymore, then why had they both been in bed together?

“You are?” she asked softly.

“Uh huh,” Willow whispered, “and…and if there’s anyone I wanna make love to…well…I’d take you over Oz any day,” she quipped.

“You would?” Tara choked out. The sudden image of her and Willow making love caused her to feel a burning warmth in her cheeks and she couldn’t help but imagine the experience. She could practically see the two of them, naked, in bed, lips on skin, on breasts, on thighs, between the legs…

“Oh,” Willow interjected, realizing how her words had sounded. “I’m not saying I w-w-wanna make love to you I…I…oh wait, I’m not saying I don’t wanna make love to you either, coz I…I think you’re…what I mean is I…I…I’m just saying that…that you know…you’re a girl…I’m a girl…and with the whole gay thing, you know…you do know…right…?

Tara brought herself out of her fantasy and chuckled at Willow’s nervous babbling. However, she still couldn’t get over her surprise. Willow was gay…when had she realized this? What was going on? If Willow thought she was gay…then what had she been doing with Oz…why had they been in bed together…? And what did it mean for their relationship? Was Willow interested in becoming her girlfriend…or had their kiss merely helped her to realize who she really was…awakened her sexuality? Just because Willow thought she could be gay, didn’t mean she wanted to be in a gay relationship.

Tara could remember when she first came out…when she first realized she was gay. An actual relationship had been the last thing she’d wanted—it had been hard enough coming to terms with who she was—and having a girlfriend at that time would have done more harm than good…would have confused her more. Sure, she’d always known in some way that she was different…that she wasn’t interested in guys, but she hadn’t quite realized the implications of it until she’d reached puberty…had her first real girl on girl kiss.

She could still remember that day…would always remember it—how could she not? That day had changed her life forever…and now…now Willow was going through the same thing. Willow had experienced her first girl on girl kiss…and it must have awakened her…must have had the same effect as her own first kiss had all those years ago.

It was then that Tara realized that whatever emotions Willow might be feeling for her, they weren’t necessarily the same ones that she was experiencing. When she’d had her first kiss, the feelings she’d had for the girl hadn’t been those of love…they’d been more of realization…of gratefulness. She’d felt affection for the girl because they’d been friends…and being 13, and hormonal…well…it had been hormones talking and…that’s all it had been.

Was that all it was for Willow…did she feel affection for her merely because she’d helped her to realize she was gay? Although…they did share a connection…a deep friendship…but was Willow really sure of her own feelings right now? Tara knew that whatever Willow was going through right now…it wouldn’t be right for them to get involved. Willow needed time to figure out the whole ‘gay thing’…figure out what it meant…decide how she felt about it. However, when she did finally come to terms with who she was, maybe then she’d be ready for a relationship…and if she were lucky, maybe she’d choose her.

Tara could only hope…but she wouldn’t push. She’d be Willow’s friend through all this, and if Willow was really serious in thinking that she was gay…well…she’d have someone there who’d been through it all before…someone who could offer her advice. She was Willow’s teacher after all and being gay was just another thing she could teach her about. She knew how hard this was gonna be for her, knew how much Willow cared about what other’s thought. Willow was one of the most sensitive people she’d ever met, and she sought approval of others like a fish sought out water. Coming out was going to be one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do…

“Will,” Tara smiled at her, moving back down to lie on her side. “I…I’m kinda c-c-confused here. You…you s-s-say you’re gay, but…but you and Oz were…and…w-w-what I’m t-t-trying to say is, um…w-w-what’s going on…what happened…are you sure you’re g-g-gay?”

Willow slowly turned her head to face Tara, wincing slightly as a wave of pain washed over her. “I’m pretty sure,” she told her softly.

“Pretty sure?”

Willow looked at the confusion in her friend’s face, and realized she’d have to start from the beginning, tell her everything…full honesty.

“You see, I was confused after our kiss…well, all our kisses,” she blushed. “What I mean is, I, well, after I kissed you and you pulled away…I didn’t know if you were rejecting me, if you hated me…or even if I knew what I was doing myself.”

Tara nodded in understanding, it was kinda what she’d been thinking herself. “I know what you mean,” she admitted. “I was feeling a little confused too…”

Willow smiled in response before continuing. “I was scared to be gay you know, scared about what I was feeling for you and…and so I thought of Oz. I gave him a call…asked him over and then I…I kinda tried to seduce him.”

“You what?” Tara chuckled, feeling a mixture of confusion, amusement and surprise.

“Yeah…” Willow smiled sheepishly. “You see, I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t gay…that I wanted Oz and that…”

“There wasn’t something missing between you,” Tara finished up knowingly.

Willow nodded, pleased to see Tara understood. She felt bad about how she’d tried to use Oz, but Tara’s reaction of mild amusement and apparent understanding soothed her. She now felt more confident about telling her the rest of the story.

“Luckily he sensed there was something wrong,” she explained. “He stopped things before anything happened and asked me what was going on. I told him that we kissed…that I was confused and…”

“So he knows?” Tara interjected.

“Yeah…and he said he would give me all the time I needed to figure out what I want.”

Tara smiled at this, her respect for Oz increasing dramatically. No wonder Willow cared about him so much, the young man was definitely a kind hearted, understanding person. But what else could she expect from someone Willow chose to be her boyfriend?

“You two are friends now?”

“We are,” Willow confirmed. “Oz just held me last night. I was scared and confused and I didn’t want to be alone…” Willow smiled in remembrance.

“That’s why you looked so happy this morning,” Tara grinned. Willow’s elation at waking up in Oz’s arms had been bothering her all morning and she now felt totally relieved to realize it had nothing to do with sex.

Willow nodded and lifted her hand up to gently caress Tara’s cheek. “I’m sorry you had to see that,” she said huskily.

Tara felt her breath catch at Willow’s caress. “It’s okay Will. I get it,” she replied breathlessly.

On impulse, Willow lifted her head a little and pressed a quick kiss against Tara’s lips, pulling away before the girl could protest. “I’m still sorry,” she grinned as she removed her hand and returned to her previous position on the bed.

Tara could feel her lips buzzing and her heart pounding as she looked down at her friend. Willow had caught her entirely off guard.

Willow could sense this, so decided to continue with her confessions, rather than drag out the moment. “I’m still a bit confused,” she admitted, “but…but kissing you, well…it kinda opened my eyes. I’ve, um…always been interested in guys, or so I thought. You see, I…well, I’ve had this huge crush on Xander for most of my life, and then Oz shows up…pays attention to me…cares for me…makes me feel special…but…”

“It never felt quite right,” Tara surmised. It was then that an idea came to her. If Willow was gay, then maybe she’d had signs along the way that she’d ignored…just like she herself had…?

“Will…” Tara ventured, hesitating for a moment, but realizing the question had to be asked, “have you ever found yourself having, um, thoughts?”

“You mean about girls?”

“Yeah,” Tara replied. “Coz, um…that’s what it was like with me, before I came out…to myself that is.”

“You mean you didn’t always know you were gay?” Willow asked in surprise.

“Not always,” Tara admitted. “I…I never had crushes on guys like other girls my age, but…I just thought it was because I hadn’t met anyone I liked yet. See, I didn’t have crushes on girls either, but sometimes I’d look at some of the older girls…wish I could be more like them…wish I could ‘be’ them…find myself fantasizing about them—not in a sexual way though,” she was quick to point out.

Willow was surprised…it was as if Tara had read her mind…known how she thought. “You mean you’d look at an older girl and think, ‘oh she’s pretty,’ or ‘I like her hair,’ or ‘her eyes are so blue’…‘her skin is so soft’…‘I wish I had skin like that’…‘I wonder what it would be like to hold her hand’…‘to talk to her’…?”

“Yeah,” Tara smiled, realizing the she and Willow were more alike than she’d thought. “That’s exactly what I felt…”

“But I never thought that made me gay,” Willow continued.

“It doesn’t have to,” Tara replied. “Just because you think a woman is pretty…doesn’t mean you’re gay.”

“So how do you know?” Willow insisted. “How did you know?”

Tara sighed, she’d never told this story to anyone before…it was just so personal…so private. However, Willow was confused here…she needed her…needed the benefit of her experiences. How could she not tell her, especially when it would help her? Besides, she did feel like she could tell Willow anything.

“I was thirteen,” she began, pausing a moment to decide how to continue. “I’d just started junior high and…I met this girl there. Her dad owned some stables nearby and we both got talking about how much we loved horses…loved riding…”

“So you became riding buddies?” Willow asked.

“Yeah,” Tara chuckled. “Riding buddies. We started riding together on weekends…became friends…it was good.”

“So what happened?” Willow interjected. “Were you like attracted to her or something…? Is that how you knew?”

“Not exactly…” Tara hesitated, “I mean, yeah…she was very pretty…but I was still in denial. I just looked at her as a friend—or that’s what I told myself.”

“So you didn’t like think about kissing her or something…?”

Tara blushed and smiled shyly, before answering. “Well…maybe sometimes…late at night…in bed…”

Willow chuckled in response, finding Tara’s shyness adorable. “So you wanted to jump her?” she teased.

Tara smiled at her friend’s good-natured quip. “It wasn’t like that…I was only thirteen, and…well…I just wondered sometimes what it would be like, you know…to kiss her. I’d never kissed anyone before and I was just curious, you know…?”

“I know,” Willow admitted, deciding it was confession time. “I…I sometimes thought about stuff like that…kissing girls I mean. Only I quickly put the thought out of my mind…reminded myself of my Xander-crush…and then later…when I met Oz…it was like, ‘hey, I have a boyfriend now—so there…’ you know what I mean?”

Tara did, and she chuckled at Willow’s way with words.

“You know,” Willow continued, deciding that she might as well be totally honest while she was at it. “I…I thought about kissing you a lot,” she admitted softly.

“You did?” Tara whispered, suddenly feeling her breath catch in her throat.

“I couldn’t help myself,” Willow explained, her face turning crimson. “It’s just…I…you have the sexiest lips…and your bottom lip was like…I just can’t stop thinking about it Tara…and…” she trailed off as her eyes dropped to Tara’s lips, and she unwittingly began to inch her face closer towards her. “…and I…I just wanna kiss you again…” With that, she softly pressed her lips to Tara’s, unable to resist their call…their sweetness…their lusciousness.

Tara herself had been unable to resist Willow’s lips…her words…the way her breath had played against her lips as she’d told her how much she wanted to kiss her. It was all too much for her, and as her lips met Willows, all she could do was close her eyes, lift her free hand to Willow’s cheek, and enjoy the sensation of kissing the girl she loved.

Tara pulled away after a few seconds though, knowing now wasn’t really the right time for this. There was obviously a mutual attraction here, but things still needed to get sorted out…and she still wasn’t entirely sure Willow was ready for this…that she knew what she was doing. Maybe if she continued with her story, Willow would understand why she felt like that…why it would be best for her to wait before she jumped into a relationship.

“Oh God Will,” Tara sighed, keeping her hand against Willow’s cheek as she pulled away. She didn’t want to give her the wrong impression again. “I wanna kiss you too,” she admitted, her eyes still half closed with sensation, “but…”

“There’s a but?” Willow replied, upset to have lost contact with Tara-lips.

Tara smiled warmly and tenderly brushed her thumb against Willow’s cheek. “You’re still confused,” Tara explained, running her thumb against Willow’s cheek, “about who you are…about the ‘gay thing’…and…and why don’t you let me finish my story?” she suggested. “It might help you realize what I’m thinking…coz…I…I’ve been here before Will and…and things aren’t always easy to understand…”

“Okay,” Willow sighed, closing her eyes at the continued movement of Tara’s thumb. The girl’s gentle caress felt so good against her skin…and maybe she was right. She was confused at the moment, and what’s more…she would love to hear the end of this story…love to hear how Tara realized she was gay. “Go on,” she whispered, “tell me what happened next.”

Tara smiled and pressed a soft kiss against Willow’s forehead before she returned to her story. “Well,” she began as she pulled away, “like I was saying, we became friends…‘riding buddies’…and that went on for about a month…”

“What happened after a month?” Willow opened her eyes, giving Tara a soft smile.

“That’s when my life kinda changed,” Tara confessed. “It was a Saturday after noon, and we had just gotten back from our ride. As usual, we took the horses straight to the stables…and as we were patting them down…I couldn’t help noticing that my friend was glancing over at me more than usual. She’d been giving me these looks all day…well, she always looked at me…but today she did so more than usual, and it was starting to unnerve me a little.”

“So what did you do?”

“I called her up on it,” Tara smiled. “I asked her what was wrong…and she asked me if we could take a walk…somewhere private. I said sure, why not, and we headed off into the woods nearby. When we got to a bit of a clearing, she asked me if we could stop for a moment—those were the first words she’d spoken to me during our whole walk…I hadn’t wanted to push her so I’d kept quiet, waiting for her to say something…”

“And what did she say?”

Tara smiled as she recalled the moment…remembered how shocked she’d been. “She asked me if I ever thought about what it would be like to kiss a girl.”

“You’re kidding?” Willow grinned. “I bet that totally freaked you…?”

“Yeah,” Tara chuckled, “it did a bit. I…I had no idea what to say, so I asked her if she had…and she said yes…all the time. She then told me she thought about kissing me a lot, and asked me if I thought about kissing her…”

“Did you tell her?” Willow inquired, suddenly very curious to know what had happened.

“I did,” Tara admitted. “I…I couldn’t lie to her…not after what she’d just told me. And that’s when she asked me…”

“If she could kiss you?” Willow supplied.

“Yeah,” Tara confirmed. “She really wanted to know what it was like…and so did I…and…”

“That was your first kiss,” Willow finished off.

Tara nodded in response. “Yeah…first kiss…”

“What was it like?” Willow asked, unable to stop herself from asking the question.

“It was soft,” Tara smiled, “and…and sweet …and it…well, it only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough…”

“You mean that’s how you knew?” Willow interjected. “You knew you were gay for sure because of that kiss?”

“Yeah, I—”

“That’s why you think I should wait,” Willow interrupted, not letting Tara finish. She suddenly understood what Tara had meant. “You think the same thing happened to me…that kissing you made me realize I was gay, so…so you think I can’t really be sure about how I feel about you…”

“I do,” Tara nodded, unable to lie to the girl. “I…I don’t know what you feel for me Will, and…and I know how hard it’s gonna be for you, coming out I mean. I also know that if you really do feel something for me, that you might just be projecting coz of the kiss…coz it was your first gay kiss. I know I felt like that…felt I had feelings for this girl, but…but I soon realized I didn’t. We never told anyone about the kiss…it was like our secret. But we did kiss some more…experiment a little, and after a while we both realized it wasn’t love we were feeling. We were just two kids—experimenting…trying to deal with our sexuality. That’s all it was, and funnily enough…we even managed to remain friends all through junior high. We went to separate high schools though, so we kinda lost touch after that…but what I’m trying to say is that…whatever you feel…what you need right now is a—”

“Friend…” Willow finished, realizing that Tara’s words made a lot of sense. Tara was right, coming out was definitely gonna be hard for her…and even though she felt certain her feelings for Tara were more than just friendship, that it wasn’t just coz of their kiss…she also knew that maybe right now wasn’t the best time to actualize them.

“Yeah,” Tara whispered. “You need a friend Will…” she trailed off as she realized that she still hadn’t told Willow the whole truth. The girl needed to know exactly what she felt. “But…”

“There’s another but?” Willow giggled.

“Will,” Tara smiled, “I…I can’t lie to you…I…I have feelings for you…I care about you a lot and what I feel isn’t just friendship. I also know you think there’s something going on between me and Faith, but I wanna let you know that there isn’t. She’s not the one I want to be with…you are…but right now I can’t be with you in that way. It would hurt me too much if I was just an experiment for you—”

“But you wouldn’t be—” Willow interjected, her whole body shaking suddenly. The realization that Tara had feelings for her caused her to instantly forget what they’d just said. She took it all back—she didn’t want a friend…she was ready for a relationship…she wanted Tara…

Tara knew better though and moved her thumb to Willow’s lips to silence her protest. “I know you think that now Will,” she said gently. “But will you still think that a month from now…two months from now…a year form now…? You see, it would hurt me too much if you left me…changed your mind. I’m not into the short-term thing and I just couldn’t…”

She paused for a moment to regain her composure. The thought of losing Willow had brought a sudden tear to her eye. “Would it really be so bad if we were just friends…?” she continued, deciding to take another avenue, “coz I think you need that more…at least for a little while…”

Willow had to admit that Tara had a point, and she honestly didn’t want to inadvertently hurt the girl. “So you have feelings for me?” she asked her gently.

“I do,” Tara admitted, her eyes locked meaningfully with Willow’s. “I care about you a great deal Will…”

“I care about you too Tara,” Willow replied, lifting her own hand up to Tara’s cheek. She rubbed her thumb gently against Tara’s cheekbone as she spoke. “And I don’t wanna do anything to hurt you—ever. So you’re right…we should be friends…‘just friends’…at least for now.”

Tara smiled at that, amused by the way Willow had said ‘for now’…she would definitely hold her to that. “I’ll hold you to that,” Tara whispered seductively.

Willow chuckled, and lifted both her arms up, pulling Tara down for a warm hug. “I never wanna lose you Tara,” she whispered into her ear, “I don’t know what I’d do if you ever left me…”

“Me too,” Tara replied, “me too…”

The girls held each other close for a long time, just enjoying the sensation of being in each other’s arms. The last few days had been a real heartache for both of them…a total roller coaster ride of emotions. It had all been worth it though, because it had only served to bring them closer together. Whatever lay ahead for them…for their relationship…they now knew that they weren’t alone…that they’d never be alone.

Willow didn’t end up going to school that day, Tara refused to let her go on account of her head injury. She also didn’t go to the dance that night either, instead, she spent the whole night in Tara’s bed. She was more than happy just being close to Tara, allowing the girl to hold her in her arms, to comfort her and to talk with her. She was scared about coming out, about what everyone would say, about how she would handle it…and Tara was the best listener and comforter in the world.

Willow went to sleep that night, wrapped in Tara’s arms, certain that everything would be okay. How could it not be when she had Tara by her side?

To Be Continued...