The Whimsical Notions Of A Desolate VampireBy Buddy
Saturday 3.45pm
Mercifully no one had taken any notice of the two of them when they went upstairs to shower and change. Fred had barely looked up from her book, Cordelia was in the office talking to Groo and Spike - she looked as though she was in her element with her attentive audience - and Gunn hadn’t been around. After a hasty shower Angel had treated Xander’s wound, kissed him hard and left him to get dressed.
Angel was pulling weapons out of the cabinet when Xander came back down to the lobby.
“What are you taking Xander? You need something you feel comfortable using that isn’t too heavy.”
“I have no clue, a cross and stake is my usual arsenal, but considering two of my travelling companions are vampires … how about that small axe?”
“Good choice.” Angel lifted his broadsword and looked at it in loving appreciation and then started to polish it.
“What are the others taking?” Xander asked him curiously.
“Spike’s taking a rifle and Cordy’s taking a crossbow.”
Xander walked round the counter and joined Fred who was ticking off items on a list. A quick glance around showed him that Gunn and Groo were in the courtyard with what looked like enough equipment for a family camping trip.
“Should I go help them?”
“Not unless you want your head bitten off. Charles is in charge of doing that and the only reason Groo is still out there is because it’s impossible to insult him in the usual ways.”
“And you’re doing what with your list now?”
“Making sure y’all don’t go hungry. I hope you like cereal bars because it’s the easiest thing to pack that’s full of nutritional goodness that also won’t weigh you down.”
“Don’t forget they have preservatives and sugar, they’re the best parts.”
“The cooler is going to be the heaviest thing to carry next to the tents and sleeping bags. Thank goodness for vampire strength.” She lowered her voice conspiratorially. “Hope you’re not out there too long, heaven knows what you’re gonna do if you run out of blood.”
“Vampire hearing Fred.” She jumped guiltily. Angel smiled at her. “Don’t worry, I managed in Pylea, I’m sure there must be some kinda beastie I can chow down on if the situation calls for it.”
Xander looked across at him and felt the blush spread across his face at the look in Angel’s eyes. His bite mark started to throb under his Band Aid and it took supreme effort not to touch it. He dragged his eyes away from Angel’s and turned his attention back to Fred.
“We have tents? When did that happen?”
“When I took control of the supplies for the expedition and remembered that SPF 50 wouldn’t cut it. I figured that if the magic that gets you there works on a principal of reducing everything to anti-matter and then back to matter once you get to your destination, there was no reason for you to rough it any more than necessary.”
“Is it really that easy? Don’t we need a transporter room?”
“You have one,”
“What?” Xander’s eyes darted around as if he expected to see something Fred had put together earlier.
“”Not literally, but the potion that you have to drink, coupled with the Magicks that will be channelled create exactly the same conditions. So whatever you’re carrying is simply reduced to antiparticles in the same way you will be. I was talking to Willow about it earlier because she was worried that you might not re-assemble in the same state.”
“There’s a chance of that?”
“No. According to the laws of physics, it takes a certain combination of atoms to make-up the person who is Xander Harris. The way those atoms bond to form molecules creates a natural state of being. Obviously you can change that physiologically, surgery would be a bust otherwise, but if you break down those bonds using magic, it’s only going to be magic that keeps them from reforming into you. The same goes for everything that you take with you. Apart from the Orbs, which have to be tied to you mystically as a part of the ritual, otherwise they could end up anywhere.”
“So where do we go when we get converted into energy?”
“You knew about that, getting converted to energy?”
“I’m a veteran of every Star Trek episode and subsequent incarnations that ever aired. Except for a couple of Voyager, I skipped a few weeks when Janeway started to look attractive.”
“You lost me on the Janeway reference. They didn’t have TV’s in Pylea and demon hunting hasn’t left me with much time to catch up.”
“Gottcha. So then, where do we go?”
“You mean in the metaphysical sense?”
Xander nodded. “I guess.”
“I have no idea. You might as well ask me if I can prove the existence of God. The good news is that it happens fast and you won’t feel a thing.”
“Wow, you would have been really handy to have around in high school. Two Willows, I might have made it to college.” Fred dipped her head and blushed.
“Thanks. I think. I’m more of a Fred than a Willow, but I know whatcha mean.”
“Where’s Spike?”
“I’m not sure but I think he went to spar with Cordelia in the basement.”
“In the basement? Without Groo?” He said incredulously.
“I think Groo’s trying the supporting boyfriend role, apparently he was pepped,” she nodded over at Angel. “Cordelia and Spike bonded over dishes …”
Xander interrupted her with a laugh. “I don’t think so. He might be down there getting a happy while he annoys her, but the closest Spike ever got to domestic chores was eating the help.”
The smile on Fred’s face faded. “Oh. He seems so nice an’ all. It’s hard to believe he’s a reformed notorious and brutal murderer.”
“Emphasis on reformed and any time you want to rub that in while he’s around just let me know. And any time you wanna tell him he’s nice, I want front row seats, I’ll bring popcorn.”
Fred looked over her glasses at him sternly. “I thought he was your friend.”
Xander shoulders sagged. “You’re no fun when I want to blow off steam are ya? He is my friend, I guess. That doesn’t mean I can’t have fun at his expense, it tends to be a two way street. I just have more ammunition than he does.”
Angel brought the weapons over to the counter. “It’s time. If anyone has to go out tell them I need them back for nine at the latest. Ready Xander?”
“Ready.”
“Good luck Angel. Try not to get angry. ”
Angel threw her a dirty look. “Don’t worry Fred,” he said softly. “He’s safe; for now.”
Xander moved quickly and stood in front of Angel, his hands clasped together, a parody of someone praying. “Let’s not upset the person in charge of our survival in Hellsville. We’ll see you later Fred.”
~*~
3.35pm
Cordelia bounced lightly on the balls of her feet dealing light punching blows that Spike deflected without effort. She let him relax into the rhythm before she speeded up her pace and then changed her tactics. Jumping up she kicked his chest with both feet, right then left, and as he staggered backwards in surprise and unprepared for further assault, she moved in quick with a backhanded punch to his cheekbone. She didn’t give him time to recover just followed through with a right fist to his upper abdomen and then dropped low to sweep his feet out from under him.
Spike’s ass barely touched the floor before he grabbed her ankle and dragged her towards him. He rolled over the top of her and pinned her to the hard concrete with his weight, his thighs straddling her hips, his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him in pain and fury and he laughed softly before getting off and offering her his hand.
“Somebody’s been hiding their light under a bushel. Spar with Angel like that do you?”
Cordelia took his hand and pulled herself back to her feet.
“Angel thinks I’m made of glass, what do you think?”
Spike’s eyes lit up at the challenge in her tone and he aimed a punch at her. Pulling back slightly before he connected with her face, the blow slid off as she twisted to avoid it. She brought her left arm up and blocked the next hit and punched his nose with her right. Before she could hit him again she was spinning away from the force of his foot against her shoulder. He circled her, blood trickling from his left nostril, waiting to see how quick she would come back from it. She didn’t disappoint him, finding her footing instinctively and standing ready as he’d seen Buffy do countless times.
He wanted to laugh at her posturing, a Slayer wannabe, until her eyes cleared of pain and filled with concentration. She didn’t lack in the moves department, maybe there was more here than Tiffany boxes after all.
“I’m thinking you’re made of something a little sturdier than that pet, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to hit you, not like that, with intent to cause pain. Chip remember?”
“I thought you knew; you got silicone, I got demon DNA.”
She sprang at him raining blows with her forearms and feet, forcing him backwards until he got tired of the game. She was going to hurt herself if he didn’t put a stop to this and what the Hell? He ducked a blow and rugby tackled her, driving her back a few feet before bringing her down. When he looked down at her she was crying.
“I knew it.”
She hit him again half-heartedly, the fight gone out of her. Panting hard and with tears streaming down her face she scrambled backwards on her feet. Bewildered, Spike raised his arms to the ceiling.
“Any time you want to tell me, I’m all ears.”
He wiped his nose on the back of his hand and walked over to his duster, pulled his smokes and lighter out of his pocket and lit up. He sat on the steps and watched her as she brushed tears away. She got to her feet with a grimace and wondered how Willow felt about sending some of the healing mojo her way; maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea.
Spike almost slid off the step with shock when she walked over and sat down next to him. Her heart was racing and she smelled faintly of fresh sweat and expensive perfume and he could feel the heat rising from her skin.
“I don’t suppose you have any hard liquor in that thing?” She nodded at his coat.
“No sorry. Normally I would, but it hasn’t been lasting as long lately.”
She pulled tissues out of her pants pocket and gave one to him. “S’all right. I think it’s stopped. Good strategy there got me fooled good and proper.”
Cordelia moved away from him to sit with her back to the wall. His face looked different to how she remembered it. It was thinner - he was thinner - and he’d lost the cute prettiness that had always belied his evil nature. The unexpected sadness she’d seen lurking in his eyes had taken a back seat for now and he looked more animated than he had all morning. Great, shatter the princess activate the vampire. She tried to laugh and it came out as a broken sob.
“It’s unbearable you know, losing him,” she said her voice almost a whisper. “Everybody forgets he was the closest thing I had to a child of my own,” fresh tears gathered in her eyes and started to fall. “I love that little boy so much,” she wiped her face and stared at the rapid swelling in the middle of Spike’s face. “Sorry about your nose, I just knew that no one else would give me a run for my money.”
“Don’t mention it love, it was an eye-opener. It’s not often I get more than I bargained for these days.”
“So why are you coming with us?” She said after a short silence.
Spike shrugged his shoulders. “Why not? It’s not every day a vampire has a nipper and I don’t see why Harris should have all the fun.”
“Oh it’s way too late for that, what with the screaming and the moaning they seem to think we can’t hear, I’d say there’s a whole lot of fun going on already. All we need now is for Angel to forget his heartache for a moment and start in with a happy all of his very own.”
Spike shook his head. “He’s not you know. Xander, he’s a mess, wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t. Not so long ago I would have wagered he’d never leave Sunnydale. Besides, now he loves the old bastard and that’s never any fun.”
The basement door opened and Groo poked his head around it, a look of surprise crossing his face at the sight them sitting on the stairs. “Have you finished your training Princess?” He came through and stood uncertainly at the top, towels and bottled water in his hands.
“Groo you are such a Sweetie. Are those for me?”
“For both of you. You came down here in haste and left them behind.”
Cordelia held out her hand and Groo descended the stairs as though the gesture had released him from stasis. She stood, wincing at the pain in her shoulder and grabbed a towel and bottle from him. He looked at her in concern before he turned to offer Spike the same.
Spike stood up and looked for somewhere to dock his cigarette. He shrugged and tossed it to the floor; why break the habit of a lifetime?
“I should go up,” he took the proffered items.
“Thanks for the workout.”
Spike raised an eyebrow. “Is that what you’re calling it?” Groo stepped aside to let him pass as he started to climb the stairs.
“You’re hurt,” Groo said to Cordelia and frowned at the tell tale signs of tears. Spike steps faltered and he turned to see if he wasn’t going to make a thing of it.
“I’m fine. Or I will be as soon as I’ve soaked in the bath for a week or two.”
Spike carried on up and through the basement door. This was turning out to be a very strange day.
~*~
4.50pm
Angel’s lips were throbbing from the kisses Xander had initiated in the stairwell of the building. Unhurried kisses designed to calm his mind, which deepened as Xander gently mussed Angel’s hair and probed the interior of his mouth with an insistent tongue. Kisses that had made Angel pant as physical longing blossomed again, turned his insides to mush and momentarily took his mind off their reasons for being here. Kisses that were hard to stop until a tenant came in and told them in a disgusted voice to get a room. She was gone before they looked up.
So here they were and Angel fought the urge to fidget and succeeded like he usually did. Only those who knew him would be able to tell that underneath the calm exterior, the urge to squirm was like a wriggling worm on ecstasy. It was doubtful that even they would be aware of the fact that Xander standing by his side was unnerving and reassuring in equal measures.
In Xander, Angel found comfort, pleasure and love, all the things he wished to reciprocate. His thoughts flashed back to Xander offering his throat to him and he felt the shame trying to creep in again. It had been an act of total surrender and it had never even crossed his mind this time to resist. He still couldn’t believe he had fed from him and refused to think about the consequences or the chance to do it again.
He caught the possessive look in Xander’s eyes, it was only there briefly but it was as good as another kiss or a hug or a thousand words of reassurance and he straightened his back and stuck out his chest despite himself.
It was barely a minute since he’d knocked and he could already hear movement from inside but the footsteps approaching seemed to be wading through molasses and the pounding of hearts both sides of the door reverberated in his ears like boom-boxes, ticking off time that couldn’t keep up with the beat.
Xander openly watched Angel’s face and wondered who would win between him and Oz in the inscrutable stakes. Oz had the advantage because he’d never really struggled to keep emotion in check. Yeah, Oz was definitely Libra man with a foot planted firmly in each side of the scale.
Of course the wolf was a whole other issue.
Every time Angel presented his neutral face to the world, Xander always got the impression the facade masked emotion approximately as benign as Mount Etna. He turned his attention back to the door and tried to convince himself he didn’t wish Fred or Cordy were here to do this with them.
He sensed the hesitation before the chain was released and the lock tumblers rolled. Wesley opened the door wide and let it go, it seemed an odd gesture to Xander, given the situation. To both him and Angel, Wesley looked better than he had in the early hours of Friday morning, he was still unshaven but it looked more like designer stubble and less like wino anti-chic. Here was another neutral face, apparently devoid of emotion until you looked into his eyes.
“Hello Wesley. Can we come in,” Angel said, quietly.
Wesley let out a harsh bark of laughter and although it sounded bitter and slightly hysterical, there was genuine amusement in the mix.
Angel narrowed his eyes as if doing so would shield him from the emotion pouring from the man in front of him. Wesley smelled liked he always had, dependable, masculine and warm but there was a hint of bitterness there now that Angel felt compelled to erase; that and the scent of Lilah.
“Come in.”
Wesley turned and walked back towards the couch and sat down. He still sounded like he was talking through crushed glass and after Xander closed the door behind them he eyed him speculatively.
“You look better. How’s the pain?”
“Unfortunately not much better. Please sit down.”
“I’m good,” Angel said. Xander sat down carefully in the chair on Wesley’s right and wondered if his ass would ever feel normal again. He fingered the ripe purple bruises on the webbing between his thumbs and index fingers and found a perverse satisfaction in the very fact that all his ailments and marks were sex related.
“It wasn’t really courtesy. I need to sit down and I’d prefer it if you weren’t looming over me.” Xander gaped at the admission.
Angel decided not to argue and sat in the other chair. He was here to ask Wesley a favour, not to fight.
“Willow can do something about your wound. She’s not keen on doing anything too heavy at the moment, which is one of the reasons why we’re here, but a healing spell doesn’t pose the same problems, for one thing it doesn’t involve the Dark Arts.”
Wesley’s face rippled with relief and then outrage because he’d allowed himself to feel it. “I don’t need …”
“I’m not offering it out of charity Wes, I need you at full strength if you’re going to be able to channel the Magicks needed for us to get into Quor-toth.”
There was silence for an interminable minute and Xander stilled his tongue against rebellious babbling. Angel saw a light spark in Wesley’s eyes but neither his posture nor his expression changed and he wondered if he’d imagined it.
“And your other reasons for being here?”
“You took the job with Wolfram and Hart.”
“What did you think I would do?”
“Just that. I was counting on it.”
“You want me to be your spy,” he said, his voice incredulous despite his suspicions.
“It might be difficult seeing as you’re sleeping with the enemy.”
Angel’s tone was even, non-judgmental and Xander’s eyes were nervous on Wesley’s tense flushed face. For the first time Xander felt something other than idle curiosity about Lilah Morgan and got an unwelcome visual of Wesley writhing on the bed with a faceless stranger.
“I’m not the only one rolling the dice in the bedroom Angel.”
The tension in the room cranked up a notch and Xander resisted the urge to check if Wesley was looking at his throat. He could almost feel the weight of his stare and it felt like he knew that the roll neck concealed a Band Aid.
“Touché . Except Xander isn’t evil.”
“It isn’t Xander I was talking about. What if your relationship with one another brings forth Angelus?”
Angel swallowed hard and looked at Xander then snapped his eyes back to Wesley.
“After hearing about Quor-toth d’you really think that would be such a bad thing?” He said sarcastically, hating the fact he was on the defensive and angry that he should be rankled by Wesley’s judgment of him.
Even angrier that he deserved to be judged.
“Not necessarily,” Wesley said seriously, ignoring his outburst, “ it might even be an asset if we could control him.”
Angel’s mouth twitched slightly as he suppressed an involuntary smile and Wesley didn’t try to quell the relief that flooded through him this time. Maybe there was hope for them after all.
“I don’t mean to pry Angel, but you can understand my concern and surprise regarding this surely?”
“Hey nobody’s more surprised than we are,” Xander said. “There’s still time though, we didn’t tell Buffy yet.”
Angel leaned back and willed his body to relax. “About Lilah …”
“She isn’t an issue, don’t worry about her.” There was an uncomfortable silence, and Angel wondered just when Wesley had added callous disregard to his new bag of tricks.
“Will you do it?”
“Which part?”
“Any of it. All of it.”
“I’ll perform the incantation if Willow can really restore some of my strength. The rest …”
“Will be dangerous.”
“Yes.”
“But ... ”
“I’ll do it.”
“Thank you.”
There was silence again for a time and Xander looked around the apartment. Despite the sadness he could feel here it was the sort of place he could feel comfortable in himself, but it reflected nothing of the Wesley he had known in Sunnydale. Wesley was watching him as though he could read his mind and a ghost of a smile touched his lips.
Angel wanted to be back on his territory, he felt awkward here. He’d only been to Wesley’s apartment a couple of times and only one of them was a happy memory of them all playing on the PlayStation. He couldn’t believe how he’d been captured by the mindless repetition but it had been fun and relaxing and he wished they could get back to that camaraderie.
He was tired of the rage in his heart and just wanted to let it go.
He cleared his throat and opened his mouth before he had much idea what he was going to say. “Wes, about the other day,”“Save it Angel. You meant every word of what you said and I don’t blame you. I only hope my agreeing to this will serve to make things better. What about the others? How do they feel about my involvement?”
“Fred and Lorne have been pimping you to the nation,” Xander grinned at the way Wesley’s face lit up when he mentioned Fred. “For those of you not used to Xander speak, that means that they have been extolling your virtues and hitting Angel repeatedly with virtual slaps until he cried Uncle.”
Angel glared at him; he didn’t want Wesley to think he came here only because the others strong-armed him. “Xander that doesn’t help.”
“Sorry, Willow’s in town if you want me to stop the whole babble fest you’ll have to gag me.”
“Gunn hasn’t said much one way or the other, but Cordy … She sees this as a necessary evil, so she’s on board but she wasn’t happy to hear you might be involved with Wolfram and Hart and I should probably warn you she’s still not in a forgiving mood.”
“And you?” Wesley spoke so softly that Xander was sure it had only been meant for Angel’s ears.
Angel looked at Wesley. “Give me time.” Wesley nodded and wished the two of them would leave; the conversation was emotionally draining.
The knock at the door made Xander jump even though he and Angel had been expecting it. Wesley looked at them both with curiosity and then got up to see who it was through the spy hole in the door.
He opened it and the sight of Willow’s smiling kind face was nearly more than he could bear, but the atmosphere lightened as she entered the room and he didn’t missed Xander’s sigh of relief.
“Hey. I hear there’s someone here who could use a little magical intervention of the healing kind.”
“Hello Willow, it’s good to see you. How are things in Sunnydale?” He stood aside to let her by. She was carrying a big bag that smelled strongly of herbs and spices, which she put on the coffee table.
“They’ve been better. Not much better, but you know, better.”
“Did you get what you need?” Angel asked her, impatient to get it over with.
“I did. Are you ready to do this Wesley?”
“Yes, what do I have to do?”
“Very little actually, except to stand still while I make you stinky. I do need to move your rug though.” Wesley looked at her blankly for a moment and then groaned.
“Please tell me you only need to draw it in chalk.”
Willow smiled at him. “You probably know how to do this better than me.”
“Not at all, I just know that you have to create a safety zone in order to control the Magicks and protect me.”
“Guys.” Willow nodded at the table and Angel moved it out of the way and then waited for Wesley to move from the couch so he could push it back. Xander rolled back the carpet.
Willow drew a five-point star within a circle in white chalk and then pulled out five big candles from her bag, resting one on each point.
“I had to stand in one of those things once,” Xander said to Angel who was standing next to him now. “For a while there was two of me.”
“Two of you?”
“Ah huh. I was hit by the ferula-gemina.”
“Toth?”
“Yep, Toth’s the man who’s the man, well was the demon. It was meant for Buffy ... It was a bizarre experience, I’m not in any hurry to repeat it.”
“Don’t need to tell me about alter egos.”
Xander stared. “How aware are you of him?” He whispered.
Angel smiled, but it was chilly. “He likes you.”
Xander shivered and he couldn’t tell how much of it was from fear and how much from disgust.
“Sorry I asked.”
Once Willow had lit all the candles she gestured to Wesley to walk forward into the circle.
“Say goodbye to your sexy voice mister, it’ll all be over in a minute.”
“It doesn’t feel very sexy I can assure you. What will this do exactly?”
“Restore you to the state you were in before the attack.”
“I was tired and half insane with worry,” Wesley blinked hard and looked straight at Angel.
Angel’s face tightened but he didn’t say anything.
“Oh …” Willow looked disheartened for a moment but then her face lit up. “I meant physically, insanity shouldn’t make too much of a difference. Ready?”
“Are you sure you’re ok with this Willow?”
Wesley looked at her seriously and she looked sideways at Angel. His face was such a mixture of defiance and guilt that she couldn’t help but smile at him.
“I’m fine doing it, really. Ok then.”
Willow spread her arms and raised her hands palm upwards. Standing ready to do this was like stepping into a favoured pair of shoes if they happened to be Manolo Blahniks. Not so much comfortable as a luxurious guilty pleasure.
“Iaso, I come before you in supplication,
Hear my plea and in your generosity
Grant me your attention.
I beseech thee Iaso, Goddess of Healing,
Restore this man’s body through your reason for being.
From weakened state to body healed,
May damage be repaired and not concealed”
Willow felt touches as soft as whispers slowly creeping from her palms along the inside of her arms to her collarbone and then her throat. When they reached her face, the pressures increased until they reached her Brow Chakra and culminated in a Holy kiss. She shivered in pleasure and gasped as she felt energy rush through her and out in Wesley’s direction.
Wesley looked stunned for a moment as though something had hit him between the eyes. He blinked rapidly and then a slow grin spread across his face; this was better than morphine.
Xander was immensely pleased to see Willow’s eyes were green and that the only breeze in the room was coming from the air conditioning. He brushed his fingertips across Angel’s palm and smiled when he captured them briefly and squeezed them before letting go.
The candles extinguished simultaneously and smoke billowed upwards in a steady stream. Wesley coughed.
“You weren’t joking about making me stinky. You do realise that’s likely to set off the fire alarms?”
“They only have to do that for a few seconds and then we can douse them. How ya feelin’? You sound better already.” Willow eyed him curiously. “You could take your dressing off so we can see just how well it worked.”
Xander walked over to the window and started to open it. “D’you mind Wesley?”
“Not at all, I should have thought of it beforehand.”
Angel stared at him. “You don’t look any different Wes; tell me you at least feel stronger.”
“The urge to sit down all the time seems to have gone,” he grinned and pulled away his bandage. “And my throat definitely feels much better.” He ran his hand over his wound and turned to Willow. “It’s healed, it’s like it was never there. And they say there’s no power left in prayer.”
Willow smiled at him. “There’s nothing quite like the Minors for gettin’ the results. They like to show the Powers how it should be done.”
“Thank you. I know you didn’t really do it for me, but thanks anyway.”
“Hey, no problem. You can come out of the circle now and I‘ll make us some tea whilst you pack your stuff.”
Wesley disappeared into the bedroom for a moment and then returned carrying a suitcase.
They all stared at him as he pulled on his coat.
“I like to be prepared. Shall we go?”
~*~
Saturday night, 9.45pm
Dinner had been eaten and ingredients littered the counter surface in preparation for making the potion. A pentagram had been drawn as far away as possible from the one Angel had used to make Sahjhan corporeal, and everyone was sitting in the lobby now listening to the exposition. It looked weird to Xander seeing Angel talking to them all when it should be Giles and he made a mental note to call him when they got back. He expected he’d gone all British and stiff again since his return to England, but of the things he missed most about Sunnydale, Giles ranked as high as any of them.
He eyed the flask in his hand speculatively; maybe he’d wait a minute before he drank it. He needed to steel himself against the possibility of it tasting the same way it smelled. He smiled at Willow and Tara and wondered if Will had told her about him and Angel. Telling your partner about secret stuff seemed to be a loophole that didn’t transgress confidentiality, so he guessed she had.
Talk about worlds colliding; the only people missing were Buffy and Dawn. Well Anya too but he didn’t even want to go there. He took the cap off the bottle and pursed his lips; he thought he might kill for a beer instead.
“We could end up in a really hot or cold region, so dress warm and peel off layers if necessary. This is what we know about the inhabitants. There are a bunch of Neanderthal types who have little in the way of intelligence or social skills. They feed, fight and mate and they communicate by grunting.”
“Relations of yours Angel?” Spike asked him sardonically.
“The only grunt I’m related to Spike, is talking instead of letting me speak.” Angel said pleasantly.
Spike smirked at him but the retort on his lips died when he caught Xander’s eye and realized the poor bugger looked like he was about to throw up. Xander pulled a face and put the bottle on the floor besides his feet. He swallowed theatrically and burped. He shuddered and then Angel was talking again.
“They’re carnivores and they’ll eat anything that moves, dead or alive which means all of us. They’re slow and basically animals on two legs. According to Lilah’s file there’s one particular creature we have to be more wary of. Not a great deal is known about them because almost no one has come up against them and lived to tell the tale. What we do know is that they are big on religious ceremony and ritual and they’re a host species.”
“But no relation to me I hasten to add,” Lorne said quickly. “We never eat anything whilst it’s still alive.”
“Great,” Cordelia said disgusted. “Is it possible to go any where and me not be in fear of impregnation by demon spawn?” Cordelia looked at Groo quickly. “Not you baby. You know what I mean.”
Groo looked at her blankly. “Never mind,” she said.
“Guys, please. The other thing is that they only impregnate a living host which means me and Spike won’t be any use to them but Cordy and Xander will.”
“Please tell me they only go for women,” Xander said.
“He just did dumb ass.” Cordelia grinned at him and Spike snickered. Xander felt too miserable to care.
“The last species we know anything about is the one most likely to be working for Holtz.”
“Why’s that exactly?” Wesley asked him, the first time he had spoken since they all sat down.
“Because they’re human?”
“What?”
“It’s not such a surprise is it Fred?” Wesley said. “This is a hell dimension, the damned are almost obligatory,” he locked eyes with her and refused to look away this time. Flustered she looked down.
He dropped his head wearily. Why did he always love the unattainable? He looked at Angel surreptitiously. All the time and energy he had put into this man had led him precisely nowhere. Despite the fact he had a fair idea of how Angel had felt about Cordelia, Wesley hadn’t believed he would consider a relationship with her, much less with another male. The truth was it was Wesley he hadn’t considered, not like that.
He silenced the voice in his head that insisted he’d taken Connor because it was the only thing of Angel’s he could take,
Fred was like a breath of fresh air and he had thought she would coax him from the path of doomed love instead of leading him down another one. Now he was just shattered emotionally. At least Lilah only wanted sex and the benefits of pillow talk.
The reunion with every one had been very odd but he couldn’t help the thrill he’d got as Fred had walked towards him. Even if she did falter before she reached him and let her arms fall to her sides. She’d smiled at him with all the warmth he loved her for and then looked away as the blush had started to stain her cheeks.
Gunn had been blissfully unaware of the exchange and told Wesley it was good to have him back on the team.
That had been the easy part. Cordelia had been a different matter. Wesley had witnessed her coldness before toward Angel after he had fired them all but he never imagined he would be on the receiving end of it. Mercifully Willow’s friend Tara had arrived and he’d managed to blend into the scenery whilst introductions were made.
“I’m not gonna be any use against them am I?” Spike reminded everyone.
“The rules might be different over there; they are being punished for their sins. The area we need to cover is huge and population is scattered so we might be lucky and not run into anything. On the other hand the chances of arriving exactly where we need to be are remote and we could be travelling for days.”
“How do these host thingies impregnate their victims exactly?” Cordelia asked him.
“We don’t know. Apparently Sahjhan has only ever seen the results and it wasn’t pretty.”
“What about animals,” Gunn said, “bears, wolves and coyotes, that kinda thing?”
“Relax Charles; they’re going to Quor-toth not Yellowstone.” Fred whispered in his ear.
“He has a point,” Wesley said. “There must be animals of some description given that Grunts and humans are meat-eaters.”
“I don’t know. Maybe, I hope so, we may need them.”
Willow stared at Xander in alarm as he turned chalk white and sweat started to bead on his brow.
“Does anyone have any questions?”
Xander raised his hand. “Can I go to Disneyland instead? I hear it’s very nice this time of year. Excuse me; the contents of my stomach are revolting. In more ways than one.” He jumped up and shot out of the courtyard doors. Angel stared after him.
“Angel?”
“Huh?”
“Have you finished?”
“No we need to talk about everybody’s responsibilities. Once we’ve gone you need to take it in turns watching the Orbs. Actually Willow would you mind filling everyone in?”
“No I don’t mind,” she said, suddenly minding very much. Tara smiled at her in encouragement and thanked Diana that she had decided to come here.
“Those of us staying behind need to take turns watching the Orbs. Once Connor is located all the Orbs will start to glow, which gives us about twenty minutes to get ready before we start the ritual again for the return. We can’t actually perform the ritual until the Orbs stop glowing and time is crucial. We all need to be together to do it. That is, the anchors need to be together and the travellers need to be together.”
Wesley stood up; he was feeling restless and uncomfortable and decided he would feel better as a moving target whilst he spoke.
“Don’t forget that time moves differently over there to what it does here.”
“I doubt Xander will,” Gunn said his scalp wrinkling as he raised his eyebrows.
“There’s no telling how long you could be gone but it will seem longer to you than us.”
Willow smiled at Wesley, she liked him, and secretly she always had, apart from the whole him willing to sacrifice her to save the world from the Mayor incident. She chose not to take it personally.
“Once you’ve mixed the potion Angel you can go whenever you’re ready.”
“How does immediately sound? Sorry guys, I have to check on Xander.”
When he got out in the courtyard Xander was kneeling down with his head between his knees.
“How are you doing?” Angel squatted beside him.
“I hate feeling sick. Angel?”
“Yeah?”
“Would you mind not being here whilst I feel like this?”
Angel shot to his feet. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you to … I’ll be inside, shout if you need anything.” He started to walk inside and then stopped and turned back. “Actually I’m going to take the Cauldron up to the roof and get everything ready, I’ll be back to check on you in a little while.”
“Yeah, you do that.”
Xander sounded miserable. Xander felt miserable. Angel reluctantly left him to it.
~*~
10.35pm.
Xander was immensely grateful for the feel of the breeze on his face and he breathed deeply of the fragrances that for some reason seemed more pungent after the sun had gone down. He let it out slowly and realized that his stomach had stopped rolling and the mint that Willow had brought out to him had taken the edge off taste of the serum. Either that or he had developed a new appreciation for it.
The doors opened and Spike sauntered out sans duster. He stopped near some creeping foliage that Xander had no idea the name of and touched the flowers delicately with his fingers. Xander snorted at him
“Sorry Spike you can’t do that. You’re spoiling my visual clichè s here; shouldn’t you be lighting up and strutting around? Not contemplating horticulture.”
“Night blooming jasmine, Drusilla’s favourite.”
“Reminiscing about crazy chick. Now that’s more like it, thank you.”
Spike looked at him, his head tilted to one side. “A roll neck in thirty-degree heat Harris?”
Xander willed his gaze not to waver. “You heard what Angel said, we don’t know where we might end up. I don’t like the cold.”
Spike eyed him sceptically. “Right. And I can smell blood on you because you cut yourself shaving.”
“What do you want Spike?”
Spike’s face became serious and he walked over and stood in front of him.
“Nothin’. I don’t want a thing. I will give you something though, a piece of advice. Forget the slippery slope you’re about to slide down and get your feet back on terra firma, or it’s going to end with you in a tangled heap at the bottom, and worse case scenario? A complexion like mine.”
“Angel wouldn’t do that.” Xander said hotly.
“Angel wouldn’t mean to do that, but every time he drinks from a living breathing human being, he gives the demon inside him a little more strength to fight. You shouldn’t forget Angel is the only thing keeping Angelus down. He’s not in a fucking cage in there; he’s just bound by Angel’s conscience. Start crossing the lines that separate them and you’re asking for a world of hurt.”
“What was it like for you?”
Spike was thrown for a moment; he’d expected abuse not this. It startled more truth out of him than he was prepared to give.
“Fucking amazing is what it was,” a smile lit up his face. “You know he fed off me for weeks before he Turned me.”
“I thought you told Buffy that Drusilla was your Sire.”
“It sounded more impressive than ‘by the way your ex gave me some of the best buggerings of my life and then Turned me’. Ok, maybe I didn’t have to go that far but the chances of me being dust were high that night either way I said it.”
Xander could feel jealousy twist in his guts and hated himself for it. He knew and accepted that Angel had a past and that there had been many lovers but with Spike it was different. He couldn’t explain it but he supposed it had a lot to do with the fact that Spike was around and he could understand why Angel would want him physically. He let out a deep sigh and corrected himself; he could understand why Angelus would want him, this had nothing to do with Angel at all so he should give his guts a break.
“That’s your argument to make us stop? Not that I’m admitting anything!”
Spike frowned. “Well no, there’s the part where he played with me until he thought he’d broken me and then sodded off when he got his soul back. Oh yeah, and the part where I ended up dead. You don’t want that.”
“Did you ever … you know with Buffy?”
Spike looked horrified and wistful at the same time and Xander understood the way he was feeling exactly.
“The fact that I’m not blowing in the wind should answer that for you. No, we came close a few times, but she drew the line at …”
“I so do not want to know. Sorry I asked.”
Spike walked back over to the fountain and sat on the edge of it looking as though he was prepared to take flight at any moment. Xander moved his shoulders until his back was comfortable against the stone wall and put his hands in his jeans pockets.
“How you holding up Spike? I mean really?”
Spike blinked at him a few times. “You’re getting a bit worrying mate. Showing all this concern for my welfare an’ all.” He dropped the bluster and his shoulders deflated. “I thought that leaving Sunnydale would help to clear my head,” he shrugged. “But this bloody lot are enough to confuse anybody.” Spike closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again they were full of pain.
“I ache for her if you want the truth. Couldn’t have said that to you a couple of weeks ago,” he grinned at him. “Before you discovered the sinister attraction of sleeping with the undead. What’s it like eating humble pie?”
Xander grinned back at him. “Actually not that hard to get down in between mouthfuls of happiness and a sense of belonging. The multiple orgasm factor smoothes the ‘getting it past your gullet’ stage just fine.”
Spike chuckled, a low rumble that had always made Xander’s neck hairs stand up if he were honest with himself. He’d obviously been programmed to get it on with vampires and it was probably all Spike’s fault he was attracted to Angel now. He knew that argument had flaws but he didn’t care.
“Yeah, I’ve heard that helps some … so, how’s the sickly feeling now?” He pointed to his belly.
“Not feeling queasy any more, just mind-numbing fear at what we’re about to do. I’m not worried about it though; it’s an old friend. I keep thinking I should get some new ones and I did but hey, they have the mind-numbing fear listed in their address book too. Did you know that you and Cordy have to share a tent?”
Spike stood up, a slow grin spreading across his face and his hands going automatically to his belt buckle. Xander hated that he was so suave.
“I take it she doesn’t know yet because I haven’t had any threats.”
“I’m not telling her. No, wait. I really want to tell her, I could do with the funny being at someone else’s expense for a change.”
“Not that I’m complaining but why do we have to share?”
“It’s weight mostly; we already have four sleeping bags and a cooler plus clothes, food, the Orbs and medical supplies.
Xander smiled at Angel standing in the doorway watching them both intently.
“You ready to cook up a potion?” He asked him.
“Yeah. You coming up when I mix it?”
“Sure I am, I want the first taste, and I’ll bet there’s nothing as good as a portection potion to chase away the vomit inducing taste of anti-aging serum.”
“Are you ok now?”
“I’m good, crisis averted, cookies firmly in place.”
Xander wanted to kick himself; this wasn’t the best conversation for the way seeing Angel made him feel. He loved the way his eyes lit up when he saw him or the way they’d darkened whilst he’d watched him talking to Spike. Angel was jealous and the thought made him hard. He parted his lips unconsciously and nervously licked at the bottom one.
Xander could already see the slow burn ignite in Angel’s eyes and felt himself blush when he walked over and stood in front of him. They stood uncertainly for a few moments, both of them aware that Spike was watching them in rapt fascination.
“Oh for God’s sake,” he burst out. “No one’s going to spontaneously combust if you two touch each other in public.”
Xander reached out his hand and caught hold of t-shirt fabric. He pulled on it, gathering it together between his knuckles and bringing Angel towards him as though he were the tugboat to Xander’s ship. As soon as Angel was pressed toe to toe with him, Xander slipped his thigh in between his legs and ran his hands up the sides of his throat, round the back of his ears seeking handfuls of hair. He raised his head and covered Angel’s mouth with his own and the feel of cool lips on warm sent frissons of heat through both of their bodies.
Angel could taste serum on Xander’s lips; cloves and aniseed mingled with mint. It tasted stronger on the inside and he fucked the taste away with his tongue until Xander moaned.
“On second thoughts.” Spike rolled his eyes and went back inside.
Angel pulled Xander closer and stroked firmly down his spine, deepening the kiss impossibly until Xander couldn’t even breathe through his nose. He broke away reluctantly.
“I should keep you away from other men now they know you’re not averse to sleeping with them,” Angel said shakily.
“I don’t want anyone else. You should know that by now.” Xander slipped his hand into Angel’s and held it tight. “Come on let’s go up to the roof. I know it isn’t time yet but we can watch the stars and you can kiss me like that until I beg for mercy.”
Angel put his lips to his ear. “Begging helps,” he whispered seductively. “But screaming gets better results.”
~*~
Spike’s cock was so hard he thought that everyone must have been looking at him with a knowing smirk as he walked through the lobby and up the stairs. By the time he got up to his room and threw himself on the bed there was a wet patch soaking through the crotch of his jeans. It wasn’t just the two of them that had brought on this amazing erection; it had been there on and off all day. Every time he’d caught the scent of arousal from one or the other of the whole bloody lot of them it had gone straight to his groin and demanded attention. Well except Loopy and Glower, they were oddly asexual for a couple.
But there was Cordelia with her fists and her fury. Wesley who gave off as many pheromones around Angel as he did around Fred. The witches, and he was glad to see them two together again because they sparked like those fireworks he used to hold as a kid on Bonfire Night. Mostly though it was the sexual vibe that just poured into the atmosphere whenever Angel was near Xander, or thinking about him.
His balls ached and he doubted this was going to last long but all that mattered for the moment was coming. Whoever happened to guest star in his fantasies during that moment would be entirely incidental.
He popped the top button on his waistband and lowered his zipper gratefully. He thought about just taking himself out but pushed his jeans down over his hips instead. His cock was ramrod straight and rigid against his belly. He fingered the head, scooping up precum and sliding it down his length and reached down with his right hand to fondle his balls.
He dragged the fingers of his left hand up the exposed side, fingering veins like he was reading Braille and moving soft skin before teasing the rim and thumbing the slit. No matter how wretched he felt emotionally, he always had time for this, often it was all he had. He thought back to the kiss that Angel and Xander had just shared and he started to pant, curling his hand around the girth of his penis and tossing himself in a way that few people could do better than he could do it himself.
He remembered the slow way that Xander had pulled Angel towards him and the way that Angel had surrendered to him despite the audience, the possessive way Xander had ran his hands up Angel’s throat and the flush fit of their hips. The way Xander’s fingers had gripped Angel’s hair. Spike moaned and increased the pace. He couldn’t count how many times he’d wanted to do that just to see if he could get rid of the sickening image of all that soddin’ goodness he exhibited. But he knew that ruffling Angel’s hair would not an Angelus make.
Spike had heard Anya countless times parading tales of their sexual acrobatics but frankly none of it had ever seemed all that sensual, yet Harris had suddenly become this sensual being who had the power to make Angel jealous just because he had been talking to him.
He tugged his ball sac hard a few times before trailing his hand up the crease of his thigh, over his hip and roughly across his stomach. He fingered his nipples, teasing the areola until they peaked and then pinched them hard as he wanked. He wondered what the two of them were doing now. Had they gone back inside to talk to the others or were they up on the roof enjoying the next stage of the dance?
Images of Buffy tried to coalesce into vivid pictures in his mind and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly against them. He had to concentrate on someone else and suddenly he could see Xander on all fours, exposing his tight pucker to Angel who lined up his cock and sank slowly into him.
Spike wanked faster, the tension turning to spirals of pleasure that frizzled down his spine and pooled into his testicles. He was so close now and he willed Angel to start moving, to fuck Xander hard and quick, and vision Angel capitulated, driving into him with punishing thrusts.
Spike started to breathe heavily, pumping skin over engorged organ, keeping time with the movements in his head. Xander’s hips worked to meet Angel’s thrusts and Spike swore on the risk of his own staking that he came before he saw Angel plunge his fangs into Xander’s throat and they both climaxed screaming and snarling.
He lay for a minute afterwards and cursed himself because he hadn’t thought to get any tissue before he managed to cover his hand in spunk but that would have taken planning and you could take the romance out of a thing, even if you were the only one involved. Well almost the only one. Spike grinned, wiped his hand on the bedspread and reached over to his duster for his smokes.
Time to be a cliché again.
~*~
12.15 am.
The temperature had dropped slightly because the breeze was starting to turn into wind and threatening to cover the moon with clouds. Mercifully they had waited until after Angel had mixed the potion before they started to scurry.
Angel rested his back against the wall, his hands cupping Xander’s jaw as he kissed him. He was vaguely aware of the traffic sounds below and the creak of the Cauldron as it cooled but eventually his focus of attention drowned even those out.
Xander’s tongue was currently battling his for dominance and he submitted because with Xander he could. Once he let him take control Xander slowed down his assault and proceeded to thoroughly map out the ridges on his upper palette and then moved down to the back of his teeth, licking slowly across the gum line. He probed his incisors back and front and groaned in satisfaction when they elongated, running his tongue lightly across the tip before pressing hard.
He hissed against the pain, but his tongue soon became a throbbing centre of pleasure as Angel sucked on it. He leaned against him his knees weak and his cock hard but he was perfectly content to do nothing about it but be kissed some more.
Angel took what was offered and didn’t press for anything more. He wasn’t bothered about feeding or coming, this was all about connecting on an emotional level. This could be the last time they enjoyed this in this dimension, not just before they went to Quor-toth but ever.
It was a depressing thought and he clung to Xander a little harder. The kissing hadn’t been sweet for a while, and now it turned hurried and greedy and was on the verge of getting desperate. Angel broke away and rested his forehead on Xander’s, and Xander pressed into ridges that were fast becoming familiar.
“Xander, I … we might not all survive. If we find him but I don’t make it … ”
“You will make it, we all will. But if … I’m still not going anywhere ok, I‘ll help the others take care of him.” Angel kissed him again and held him tight and then let him go because it was time.
“I won’t let anything happen to you out there. You helped me to get through this; it means a lot that you’ve cared for me. But it’s my turn now, to take care of you.”
It felt weird Angel saying those things whilst he was in game face but oddly more believable.
“We’ll take care of each other.” Xander kissed him gently this time and clasped his hand.
“Ready?”
“I’m ready, let’s do this thing. Let’s go find Connor.”