Between Dreams & Reality

by Irish Rose

Prologue

Dawn looked around surveying the damage. The house was once again wrecked. There were girls everywhere babbling incoherently and crying. Xander was tending to Andrew who had been injured in the struggle with the Bringers. Giles, in all likelihood, had yet another concussion and Spike was still unconscious. Dawn knew that he wasn’t completely dead since, hey no dust, but that much blood loss *couldn’t* be good even for a vampire. Willow and Giles had managed to stitch back together his neck and abdomen with some suture they had stolen from the hospital, but he had yet to wake up.

That wasn’t even the worst of it. The really creepy looking Turok-whatever vamp had killed two of the slayers-in- training that Giles had brought with him, before suddenly leaving with the rest of the bringers in the middle of the battle. That was when they had found Spike, and couldn’t find Buffy. The bringers had taken Buffy and all but mortally wounded Spike. They were nearly defenseless now. Without Willow’s magic, the bringers could come in and pick them all off one by one, until there were none left. Dawn slowly sank down next to the stairs and began to cry.

**********

Buffy rattled against the chains she found herself bound with in the cave. The no eyes creepies had all left her alone once she had woken up and found herself in her current predicament. She was chained to the floor in this cave and barely able to move. She had freed herself from this type of situation more than once though. She would manage again. She had to get back to the others and see what damage the bringers had done. If they fought the others as they had Spike, she wasn’t sure there would be much to get back to, but she had to try.

“I trust you are comfortable?” A voice called out through the cave. It was all to familiar, though she hadn’t heard it in years. The Master. The one she had defeated not long after arriving in Sunnydale. This had to be The First.

“Sure, all I need now is a TV and a soda and I’m good.” Buffy said in her usual cheerful self.

“Good to see you remain your usual witty self.” The First remarked. “We’ll see just how long that lasts shall we?”

“You realize I’m going to get out of here right?” Buffy questioned. “If my friends don’t get here first, I’ll be waving goodbye before you know it.”

“I think at the moment, you will find your friends have their hands more than full.” The first sneered. An interesting rendition with The Master’s toothy grin and red mouth Buffy thought.

“Then you won’t mind me getting back to help them.” Buffy said, giving the chains another jerk.

“You’ll find those chains don’t give too easily. I had my boys reinforce them with an old Tolo’thrian spell. Not infalliable, but they should do the trick for now.” The First commented, seeming amused with itself.

“So, are you just lonely or are you holding on to me for a reason?” Buffy replied.

“Oh, I definitely have a reason slayer. You took away two of my most depraved warriors in this dimension, and swayed them to the other side. I plan to get a little revenge.” The First said, with a look to Buffy that made her shudder.

“You know, if you’re going to be all big and evil, you might want to get your story right.” Buffy said, summoning up her courage. “I wasn’t responsible for Angel’s soul. Little band of gypsies in Romania did that I believe.” Buffy said, as if contemplating the fact.

“Ah but my dear, you are the one who gave him purpose. True he wasn’t my brightest and bravest anymore, but at least he wasn’t around trying to lead some crusade against me. Now, you’ve even managed to recruit Spike. I simply can’t let this sort of thing go unanswered you realize.” The First explained.

“Great, so you’re planning on boring me to death down here with your sob stories?” Buffy asked.

“You my dear, will be my challenge. We must after all balance the scales of good and evil, yes? I can’t have a strong slayer and those two all running amok now can I? No slayer, *you* will be cost paid for those two souls. I will most certainly enjoy breaking you while my followers eliminate the slayer line. You will be the last.......and then you will be mine.” The First said in a matter of fact voice.

“You are dead wrong if you think I will ever be yours. I don’t care who you kill, or how much you beat me, I will *never* be yours.” Buffy spat at The First.

“Sweet child, who said anything about beating?” The First grinned at Buffy. “Yes, I imagine some of my followers will beat you. But you see child, I’ve been watching you for some time now. I know that being helpless and alone is one of your greatest fears. And since I can’t take your powers from you indefinitely, I’ll just have to resort to something else to break you.” The First said, shrugging one shoulder.

“I think you’ve seen one to many James bond movies.” Buffy retorted, despite her growing panic.

The first gave a small laugh before continuing. “No, I had something much different in mind for you.” The First replied as a strange purple demon with horns protruding from it’s neck entered from an opening in the cave wall.

“Now, I’ll leave you two love birds alone. I’m sure you two can entertain yourselves while I’m gone.” He said, and seeing the realization dawn across Buffy’s face, he left the room in his trademark flash of light.

 

Chapter 1

“Willow!” Xander whispered and jumped back as two bringers ran right past them and out of the cave complex. “Did I ever tell you this invisibility stuff rocks?”

“Tell me later if we’re not dead!” Willow whispered back. “She should be just up ahead according to the spell. Guess the others took the bait. It doesn’t look like there’s anyone else in here. Let’s find Buffy and get back before they come back. I don’t think Spike can hold them off forever.”

“Oh my god.....” Xander stopped short as he entered a large room in the cave they were traversing.

“What?” Willow asked as she came around Xander and followed his eye line. “Oh goddess...”

“What....what’d they do to her?” Xander asked, looking on in revulsion at the spectacle in front of him.

“It doesn’t matter Xander. Here, give me your shirt.” Willow said as she tugged on Xanders sleeve.

“Is she...?” Xander let the unfinished question hang in the air as he handed his outer button down shirt to Willow.

“She’s alive.” Willow said leaning over Buffy. “These chains are magically reinforced. It’ll take me a minute to get them off. Tell me if you see anyone coming.”

Willow tried four different spells before she found one that opened the manacles. She bundled the shirt around Buffy as she tried to waken her. As Buffy slowly came awake, she glanced around and her eyes settled on Willow. She smiled.

“I like this dream.” Buffy said, weakly stroking Willow’s cheek with one hand.

“Willow, we have company coming!” Xander shouted running back into the room.

Willow quickly chanted the words to include Buffy in the invisibility spell and sprinkled her with a dust of the prepared herbs she pulled out of a bag in her pocket, as Buffy fell back into unconsciousness.

“Xander, you’re going to have to help me. I can’t carry her by myself.” Willow shouted at Xander.

Xander quickly scooped Buffy up in his arms and the three friends quickly set off through the caves back toward Buffy’s house.

 

Chapter 2

“Willow!” Spike shouted as he and several SiT’s came bounding through the back door. “Willow! You here? Did you get her?” Spike called out quickly racing through the kitchen toward the front of the house.

Willow, Xander, and Giles all came rushing back through the house toward him.

“Spike!” Willow replied, looking somewhat relieved he and the girls had made it back. “Yes, we found her, but...” she was cut off by a series of pained screams coming from the living room. A look of recognition and relief flashed across Spike’s face before panic set in and he pushed past Willow. “Spike, wait. Spike! You shouldn’t go in..” Willow frantically tried to pull Spike beck toward the kitchen by the arm. The blond vamp easily shook off her hand and pushed roughly through the assemblage, running into the living room.

A very battered Buffy sat on the couch, her legs pulled up in front of her with her ankles crossed. She was wearing only a blue button down from what Spike could tell. Dawn and another girl were holding her hands, trying to coax her up and meeting only determined thrashing and screaming from Buffy. But it *was* Buffy. He had been so afraid that the bringers would kill her. It had taken two days for him to heal enough he could move, another three before he was well enough for them to actually implement their plan for rescue. Yet, here she was. Alive. And, screaming at the top of her lungs in...fear? Something was wrong. Something was most definitely wrong.

“Stop it, you’re going to hurt her.” Spike said, quickly striding over to Dawn and Brandy, pulling their arms away from Buffy. He leaned over and reached out a hand in instinct to comfort her. That was when it all hit him. As Buffy jerked backward still screaming, Spike jolted back. Stumbling in shock at what his brain was telling him, he crashed backward straight into the coffee table, shattering it into tiny pieces.

“God no,” He whispered out, “Oh god no.” He scrambled back a few feet and glanced around to see all the faces in the room staring down at the floor. He glanced back to Buffy who was now whimpering in a little ball on the couch, sobs escaping her tiny form.

“Spike, I’m sorry. I tried to tell you, but...” Willow blurted out suddenly. She watched as the stunned vampire could only stare at Buffy, as tears she was sure he wasn’t aware of, rolled down his face. Suddenly, she saw his eyes close as his jaw tightened and his lips pressed into a thin line as his rage overcame him. With a fierce growl, Spike jumped to his feet and stormed through the front door.

“Spike?” Dawn quickly made to flee after him. But Willow grabbed her arm, preventing her from following.

“Dawn, let him go.” Willow said.

“But, he’s hurting. You saw him!” Dawn said

Giles came up an put his hand on Dawn’s shoulder. “He needs time Dawn. There’s nothing you can do to make this better.”

Dawn shook her head. She just hoped he came back.

 

Chapter 3

“But what if he’s injured? What if he’s going to do something stupid? You know how he was when Buffy died.” Dawn pleaded. “Sunrise is only two hours away. Someone *needs* to go find him!” Dawn said. She was more than frustrated. Spike had been gone most of the night.

“She’s right” Willow reluctantly said. “We need him. One of us should go find him.” Spike may need time, but sunrise would be soon and she was more than worried considering the state of mind he had been in when he left.

“I’m glad someone has finally come to their senses.” Dawn said rolling her eyes as she walked toward the door.

“I’ll go.” Xander offered. Everyone turned to stare at him.

“I’m not going to hurt him if that’s what you’re all worried about. I’ll find him and bring him back. He’s probably just off at Willie’s. Besides, we need Willow here in case the Ray Charles groupies decide to try and recollect their hostage.” Xander explained.

Dawn gave him an appreciative smile. “Thanks Xander.”

“No problem Dawnster. Willow can just put up that barrier thing after I leave, and leave me a door or something to drag his undead butt through when I get back.” Xander smiled.

**********

Xander had gone by Willie’s and the other demon bar in town, but hadn’t yet caught up with Spike. Not that Spike was making it difficult to be found. He had dragged one Demon out of one bar, and two vamps out of the other. All of whom had apparently met their end thanks to Spike. Every lead Xander followed led him to a dead demon, or another pile of dust. Xander shuddered as he thought of the demon carcasses he had come across. He was starting to almost feel sorry for whatever Spike was hunting at the moment.

As Xander turned the corner to cut through an alleyway towards Spike’s crypt, he ran right into the sight of Spike as he fought a very ugly green demon, who would tower over Spike if he had been able to stand upright. With a snarl, Spike suddenly seized the battered demon by the head and ripped it off it’s body. No twisting, just ripped the head away and watched the body collapse to the ground. Spike took a step and hurled the head like a football, sending it flying.

As Xander watched, Spike suddenly collapsed to his knees. A single name escaped his throat in a rough, heart wrenching wail. Xander watched as for the second time to his knowledge, Spike wept. The sight nearly broke his heart. Xander had hated Spike for much of his existence, but he couldn’t deny at the moment just how much Buffy ment to him. He had loved her. He had mourned her. The vampire had searched out a soul to make himself better for Buffy. She had believed in him, when none of them would. Now he was mourning her again.

Xander slowly walked up next to the vampire. “She’s not dead you know.”

Spike jumped to his feet and turned swiftly to face Xander.

“Whoa, easy there fellow. I come in peace!” Xander said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “I’d rather not go in pieces.” Spike quickly brought his hands up sweeping across his face, and Xander smiled at the attempt to maintain his tough guy appearance. “The others were worried. You’re cutting it a little close to morning with your little stroll through Sunnydale.”

“Leave me alone. Just...just sod off.” Spike quietly responded.

“Can’t do that.” Xander quickly replied, drawing a confused expression from Spike. “Walk with me Spike. Just hear me out, and then you can decide if you really want to work on your tan.” He said as he turned toward Buffy’s house. He didn’t turn to see if Spike would follow, but had the feeling he would.

“See, back at the house, there are a bunch of young girls who still need your help, including Buffy. I don’t see the rest of us doing a very good job of training those potentials.” Xander said as they walked.

“Thought that was what the watcher was for. Did a bang up job with....Buffy.” Spike retorted, but finished with a whisper.

“Yeah, but he only had Buffy then. It’s a little different when you’ve got a dozen or so teenage girls to train. Then there’s Dawn. She’d be crushed if you didn’t come back. I don’t think Buffy would be real happy if we just let you try your homage to ‘Earth, Wind and Fire’ either.” Xander pointed out. They walked the rest of the way in silence until they reached the back porch of Buffy’s house and Xander shouted out Willow’s name. Suddenly the magickal barrier she had erected parted and Xander and Spike strode through up onto the porch, where Spike froze.

“I don’t think I can go in.” Spike said.

“Well, you can’t stay out here. I don’t think they make SPF 1000 Spike.” Xander grinned

“You don’t know what it’s like!” Spike shouted at him, before collecting himself. “To know what I do. What I did. To have it hit you in the face like a street roller. To know that I’ve failed her again.” Spike trailed off. “I don’t think I can go back in there.”

“Spike, man it’s not your fault what happened here. As for the rest, well, that’s why you have your soul now.” Xander said.

“It is my fault. If I hadn’t done the things I’ve done, if I had kept those bringers from taking her, none of this would have happened.” Spike bit out. “As for the soul, if I didn’t have it then I would have just gone in there the first night they took her and....”

“And you would’ve died and Buffy would still be in that cave.” Willow softly finished. She gave Xander a glance who nodded back at her as he moved inside the house, leaving Willow and Spike alone on the porch.

Willow walked to the steps and sat down. “Xander’s right you know?” She said, not looking at him. “You didn’t fail her. Of course, if you want to think that, then go right ahead. I forgot how much you liked the self-pity.” This garnered an indignant glare from Spike, which Willow caught from the corner of her eye.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to warn you before you came in earlier. We got her all cleaned up though. Had to give her a big magick tranquilizer, but at least she’s sleeping now, she should be out a few more hours.” Willow offered as she stood up. “I burned some blessed incense too. That should help you with the, ah, scents.” Willow took a moment to observe the newest ensouled vampire who was visibly shaking as he leaned against the rail, trying to maintain his composure.

“You coming inside? I don’t relish the idea of telling Buffy when she wakes up why we have a new ashtray labeled ‘Spike’.” Willow smiles softly.

“I don’t think I can.” Spike said quietly, then added.

“This from the vampire who went out and got his own soul.” Willow laughed.

“It wouldn’t be good for her to have me here reminding her of everything. I should just go.” Spike finished.

“I thought you promised her you’d never leave?” Willow asked. Spike’s head turned as he stared at Willow. “We’re best friends” Willow shrugged, “she tells me these things. Besides, I think you owe it to her to be here. I think we all do.” she finished as she put a hand on Spike’s shoulder and gave him a sad little smile. Spike nodded his agreement then turned and followed her in the house.

 

Chapter 4

Sleep was eluding him. He had tossed and turned dozens of times, but he couldn’t sleep. As he lay on the cot in the basement that had become his new home since the SiT’s and Giles had arrived, he heard a small creaking noise come from the stairs. Probably one of the girls coming down for a snack, he thought. The rest of the house had gone to bed after the events of the night before. Everyone was exhausted, both physically and emotionally.

He listened as the person made their way to the kitchen, then silence. He turned back over onto his stomach vowing that he really had to get some sleep. That was when it hit him. Blood. The scent of blood over powered his brain. Powerful, enticing, slayer’s blood. Spike bolted upright in bed and shot up the stairs as fast as he legs would carry him. What he found was enough to rip his heart from his chest.

Buffy was sitting on the floor, leaning against the counter. A petite paring knife clasped in one hand and a long slice of splayed skin running half the length of the inside of her other arm, as Buffy watched the blood drip down onto her leg and on to the floor in fascination.

Spike grabbed the dish towel off the counter and quickly grabbed Buffy’s injured arm, wrapping the towel around the wound tightly, then reached out to take the paring knife away from Buffy. Buffy looked up at Spike with confusion, her brow furrowed. She refused to release the knife.

“You’re in the wrong dream!” She said. “You don’t save me in this one. Let. Me. GO!!”

“Buffy, love, this isn’t a dream.”

“No. Wrong dream. No, no, let go!” Buffy starting pulling away from Spike in earnest.

“Buffy stop, you’re bleeding. I can’t...Buffy...STOP!” Spike ordered.

Buffy started screaming. Incoherent sounds and screeches, mixed with ‘no’s’ and ‘dream’s’. It was all Spike could do to keep the knife away from the both of them and the towel secure around Buffy’s arm.

“Spike! What’re you doing?!” Willow’s panicked voice asked as she came to kneel next to the struggling couple.

“She had her arm laid open like some sort of gutted fish. Can you put her out?” Spike asked, still struggling with a thrashing Buffy.

“What?” Willow asked with confusion.

“Knock. Her. Out.!” Spike said. “I can’t keep pressure on her arm with her like this. She’s gonna sodding bleed to death. Now Knock. Her. Out.” Spike emphasized the words again.

Willow glanced a moment at Spike, then Buffy, taking in the blood soaking through the towel Spike had wrapped around it.

“*Now* would be a good time, Red!” Spike growled out.

“Somnolentia” Willow said as she reached out and touched Buffy’s forehead.

Buffy fought for another second before succumbing to the spell. But was soon slumping when she sat, the knife dropping from her hand to clatter against the floor. Spike let go of her right arm and grabbed Willow’s hand, pulling it to Buffy’s left arm.

“Hold that.” He commanded as he reached his now free hands behind Buffy and scooped her up in his arms. “Don’t let go.” He said as he stood, Willow automatically standing with him as she held onto the towel wrapped arm.

“Where are we going?” Willow asked tentatively.

“Her room. We’ll clean her up and put her back to bed.” Spike said flatly as he made his way to the stairs.

Once back in Buffy’s room, Spike gently laid Buffy on the bed then left the room. He came back a moment later with the massive First Aid Box they had assembled.

“Pressure point. Just up on her arm. You know where it is?” Spike asked Willow.

“Sure. Kind of surprised you do though. Didn’t think you needed to know a lot of first aid.” Willow stated.

“Then use it, so I can dress the cut.” Spike pointed to Buffy’s arm. Willow’s other hand came up and squeezed the correct spot on Buffy’s injured arm, before moving her hand to allow Spike to take over the dressing. “Not sure why you’re surprised. All of ‘em good bite spots. Doesn’t always have to be the neck you know.” Spike said as he unwrapped the towel and dropped it in the trash can next to the bed.

“Little harder Red.” Spike said. “Where’s the thread you and the watcher stitched me up with?” He said, digging through the box with one hand.

“Back right corner.” Willow indicated, nodding toward the box. “You think we should take her to the hospital?”

“Yeah right. And tell them what? She ran into several door knobs then decided she wanted to update her anatomy knowledge?” Spike said sarcastically. “They take one look at her and they’ll lock her away for good. ‘Specially if she starts spouting off about demons and such. Is that spell strong enough to keep her out for this?” Spike asked as he held up the suture. Willow nodded. “Good. If we can get the bleeding stopped, her healing should kick in and fix this.” He said as he went to work on the wound.

After several minutes of Spike’s handy work, Willow had to say she was impressed with the stitching. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a lot better than she had expected of the vampire. Yet another question surrounding the blond vampire across from her.

“Well, it’s not my best work, but it’ll do.” Spike said as he leaned back to survey the stitches. “How long will she be out?” Spike asked.

“Probably another five or six hours.” Willow said.

“Good. Wake up one of the girls. I want someone up here watching her at all times. Make sure we don’t have a repeat of her little cutlery experiment.” Spike said.

“You think she’d try it again?” Willow asked hesitantly.

“I think her head is so messed up at the moment, she’s capable of just about anything.” Spike said softly as he stared at Buffy, his voice breaking a little. She was sleeping, but by the looks of it, it was anything but peaceful. He suddenly turned and looked at Willow. “The others will be up in a couple hours, and Giles will want a meeting. You should get some rest. I’ll be in the basement.” And with that he left the room.

 

Chapter 5

“Spike, please stop pacing. You’re making me dizzy.” Giles said waving his glasses at the blond vampire who was pacing back and forth in the dining room. Spike stopped and turned to face the group, shoving his hands in his pockets, glaring at the watcher. “Good. Now, please tell me again exactly what happened.”

“Look, we’ve been over this before. I didn’t do anything to her. I just found her.” Spike fumed.

“And I believe you Spike. But please, humor me. I’m old and perhaps I’ve missed something.” Giles said annoyingly.

Spike flopped down in one of the chairs with en exasperated sigh. “Look, I was laying in my cot like a good little vamp. I smelled blood. I came upstairs to see what was going on and found Buffy sitting on the floor dissecting her arm like some frog in a science class. I cleaned it up, sewed up the cut and Willow and I put her to bed. End of story.”

“I just don’t understand why Buffy would do that.” Xander piped up from his chair. “I mean, I *understand*, I just never though Buffy *would* do something like that.”

“I don’t think she intended to really kill herself.” Willow offered. “I mean, when I came in, she was screaming at Spike that it was all a dream. I’m not sure she knew she would really die.”

“What did she say to you Spike?”Giles asked.

“Kept screaming that I was in the wrong dream.” Spike said quietly. His gaze fixed on the table.

“You think she thought she was dreaming, Willow?” Giles asked.

“I do. Come to think of it, when we found her in the cave, she said something about a dream then too. What was it?” Willow tapped her chin for a moment. “Oh, oh, I know. She said she ‘liked this dream.’” A look of horror suddenly crossed Willow’s face. “Oh god, what if she thinks she’s still in that cave? That we never came for her? That she’s still being....”

Spike suddenly shot up out of the chair and left the room.

“Poor Spike. Has to be rough on him.” Anya said. Everyone’s eyes turned to stare at her with astonishment. “What? I’m just saying. To have everything thrown back in his face like this, what with the soul and all. I think you all keep forgetting that he’s still in love with her. And now we just told him she’s crazy. It has to be hard.”

“Maybe we could get her come counseling or something?” Dawn asked

“Spike had a point earlier. I mean, what would she tell them?” Willow said.

“Well, how long is she going to be like this?” Dawn asked

“Hard to say Dawn. I’m not exactly sure.” Giles responded. “My training barely covers this kind of incident, and certainly not regarding the extent of her trauma. Only someone with extensive knowledge of this area would be of use.”

“Well, what about Anya?” Dawn questioned. “You’ve probably talked to lots of women in this situation right?” she said, looking hopefully at Anya.

“Well yes I have. But I pretty much just took care of the vengeance part. I did usually check up on them from time to time though. You know, make sure my clients were happy.” Anya replied.

“Then you know how long Buffy will be like this?” Dawn asked.

“No I don’t. It really varied a lot. I mean some women were traumatized for years. Especially the one’s that conceived from their attack. But it was mostly just random.” Anya replied.

“Well, at least we don’t have to worry about that.” Willow asked looking at Giles. “I mean they were all demons, so Buffy doesn’t have to worry about that, right?”

“Not necessarily Willow.” Giles said as he set his glasses on the table and scrubbed his hands across his face. Suddenly looking a lot older that he was.

“Oh god, I think I’m gonna be sick.” Xander said as he leaned his head over onto his arms in the table. Anya absently brought her hand to Xanders back and started rubbing in small circles.

“There are several species of demon that are capable of having children with humans. We would have to know what kind of demon we are talking about to really know if Buffy could be pregnant, and I don’t think she’s going to jump up and tell you right now.” Anya informed them very matter-of-factly.

“No.” Giles agreed. “But there is someone else who knows.”

“Giles, I don’t think we can ask him to do that.” Willow said with a look of concern. “Xander, maybe you can tell us what all he killed!”

“Wish I could Will. But I didn’t recognize half of those things. Not to mention the way Spike had ripped them all up before he did kill them. Kind of hard to identify anything except that it was demon.” Xander replied.

“Maybe we can just wait and see?” Dawn asked hopefully. “I mean, she’ll know in a couple of weeks either way right?”

“A demon/human gestation could progress differently than normal. We would need to know what we are dealing with and be prepared to inform Buffy of everything we can. Not to mention we need to know if any of them could have effected Buffy in some other way ” Giles said. “Unfortunately we will need to ask Spike so we can begin our research. Dawn, could you please find Spike and tell him we need to speak with him?”

Dawn nodded her head and quietly left the table. She found Spike upstairs in Buffy’s room. He was sitting in a chair not far from the bed with his head resting on the back. His eyes were closed, but Dawn to tell he wasn’t sleeping. He was too tense to be sleeping.

“Hey.” Dawn said

“’Spose they want me back downstairs?” Spike said without opening his eyes

“Yeah. They said that you were the only one who could help them with their current problem.” Dawn said, looking at the floor.

Spike sighed. “Nice to be needed I guess.” He said as he stood up. “You’ll stay with her?” He questioned, looking to Dawn, who only nodded her head.

“Right then. Give us a shout if she wakes up.” Spike said as he headed out of the room.

Spike walked back in the dining room and saw every head turn to look at him. Every one of them had a look on the face that made Spike want to run out the door, even if it was daylight. This was not going to be good. Rather than sit, Spike remained standing behind one of the chairs.

“So’s anyone going to tell me what’s got you all looking like Angel on a bad day?” Spike said

“Perhaps you should sit down.” Giles said.

“No thanks. Feel like standing. If you’ve got something to say, then say it. Otherwise, I really should find some of the girls and get this day started.” Spike said, feeling a little annoyed.

“There’s no easy way to ask this, so I will just come out with it.” Giles started. “We need to know precisely what type of demon attacked Buffy.”

“Doesn’t matter anymore.” Spike said quietly replied, looking at his knuckles as they squeezed the chair back. “I killed ‘em all last night. ‘Bout the only thing I’ve done right in the last year.” He finished.

“Actually Spike, it does matter. We need to be prepared in the event that Buffy has suffered any untoward effect... or, well, in the event that a conception has occured.” Giles responded.

Spike looked up at Giles with a look of complete and utter horror, that changed after a moment to one of indescribable pain, followed quickly by shocked disbelief as he sank down in the chair he had been holding.

“Spike, I know this must be difficult. But we do need to know.”

Spike looked up at Giles, and at that moment Giles considered that the vampire’s soul had just taken more than it could handle.

“Spike?” Giles gently prodded.

Spike absently reached out and pulled over a tablet of paper that had been sitting on the table and the pen. He closed his eyes as if pondering a moment. He wrote something on the paper and silently pushed it back on the table. Then closed his eyes and leaned his head on his hands, his elbows propped on the table.

Willow took the paper and studied it a moment with widening eyes before she passed it to Giles. Giles read the paper and was silent a moment.

“Thank you Spike. Is this all?” Giles asked quietly.

“All?” Spike asked incredulously. “ALL? You don’t think that’s enough?” Spike shouted pointing at the list.

“That’s not what I meant Spike. I just need to be sure that we don’t miss anything....” Giles said, trying to calm down fuming vampire.

“What? You want a running total? How’s this for you? I left off the three vampires for obvious reasons and the Megefrian because they hatch. Is that *enough* for you?” Spike shouted from his seat, as unbidden tears began rolling down his face.

No one answered. No one spoke. Several minutes passed with everyone contemplating their silent thoughts.

It was Anya who finally spoke. “So what do we do if she is? You know....”

“We will just have to support her with whatever decision she makes.” Giles replied.

“She’s gonna be beat up enough without worrying what we think about what ever she does.” Xander added.

Spike started laughing. A small little chuckle.

“You all are right idiots, you know that?” Spike asked. “Buffy’s not going to make a decision. She can’t.”

“Sure she can.” Xander interrupted. “Maybe not right now, but eventually..”

“There is no eventually!” Spike said, his voice rising again. “That woman up there is broken. She’s doesn’t know where she is, or what she’s doing. She’s lost inside her own mind. She will never *be* Buffy again.” Spike paused to ensure they had registered what he said.

“She’ll never be able to make that kind of decision.” Spike said much softer.

“Then what do we do?” Xander said looking around at the group. “I mean, I don’t think we’re ready to raise a half-demon spawned by some evil creature.”

As soon as Xander had said the words, Spike’s fist shot out an connected with Xanders jaw, sending him sprawling back and out of the chair, and Spike reeling from the pain in his head. Everyone sat frozen in shock at both what had been said, and what Spike had done.

“You bloody pillock!” Spike spat out vehemently.

Giles finally came to his senses. “Calm down both of you.” He ordered. “We don’t even know if any of these could conceive with a human. Now if, and I repeat, IF she should be pregnant. Then we will deal with the matter appropriately. There may be a whole realm of effects we need to be dealing with.” Giles said.

“Deal with this,” Spike started in a calm rage, “Buffy is gone and we will *never* get her back. If there is a child, it is still a part of Buffy. I will *not* stand by and let you lot kill *anything* that is a part of her. It doesn’t matter how it came about, there’s no sense punishing a child for the sins of it’s father.” With that Spike stormed out of the dining room, leaving the group in stunned silence.

“Ok, does anyone else feel like a complete heel, seeing as how we all just got morality lessons from a vampire?” Xander asked, breaking the silence.

“Yes, well...” Giles started, but broke off looking up to see Buffy walking into the dining room.

“Buffy!” Willow cheerfully said.

Buffy looked at the group, her brow knitted in confusion. After glancing at all of them she, moved into the kitchen. Dawn followed after her.

“Sorry guys! She just woke up and started wondering around. I think she’s looking for something.” Dawn explained.

“Buffy? Can we get you something? Perhaps you’re hungry?” Giles asked, but got no response.

Buffy had moved down the stairs to the basement, causing all the girls who had retreated to the training room, to stop and stare. Evidently not seeing what she was looking for Buffy went back up the stairs, now followed by an entourage of scoobies like a small train.

She seemed to contemplate the back door a moment before moving into the hallway. She paused and took in it’s length, before moving into the living room. She made her way across the room and stopped immediately in front of Spike who was sitting in a chair facing the front window.

Buffy looked down at Spike with a smile. Spike could only stare at Buffy in confusion as she crawled into his lap and curled up like a small child.

The others stopped in their tracks as they watched her snuggle into his lap and she gave a contented sigh.

“Buffy?” Spike rasped out brokenly. God she was sitting in his lap. This wasn’t Buffy. She would never do this. But oh it felt so wonderful. He had dreamed of holding her this way before. OK, not often, but he had.

“Pet, wouldn’t you be more comfortable on the couch?” Spike asked.

“Nope. This is one of my favorite dreams.” Buffy replied. “It reminds me that you’ll come for me.” She said as one petite hand reached up and brushed down his cheek, before her eyes turned from their bright shimmer to a deeper smokey look, before she tucked her head back where it had been resting. “And it keeps them away. For a little while, you know?” Buffy mumbled as she started to drift back to sleep. “You’ll come. I know you will. You.....all............will.” She finally said as sleep reclaimed her.

Spike curled his arms around his slayer. His little slayer, so lost between her dreams and reality. And he let the tears come. It didn’t matter who saw, not now. For now, even in her state, she believed in him still.

 

~Fin~