Forgotten Conscience
by Christopher AndrewsUncomfortable Lack of Silence
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Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I’m standing in front of Buffy again. No, I don’t want to do this again.
She throws those same three punches again and I dodge them easily. I duck and take her legs out from under her. I climb on top of her and manage to pin her arms down above her head with one hand. I run a finger from my other hand down her body and she squirms under me as I do. I lean into her. She starts breathing faster and I feel kinda wet between my thighs as I do.
I can’t do this; I don’t want to hurt her.
I lean into her just a little bit more.
What’s that? There’s something on her neck. I take a closer look.
“Is that where it happened?”
It’s some kind of bite.
“Where what happened…?”
I have this weird desire in me. I’m not sure what kinda urge but it’s definitely a weird one.
I lick the healed wound on her neck. I feel my hands wrap around her neck, she squirms under my tongue. I sit up slightly and I feel my weight on her neck.
“Is that where I bit you? Let’s see if I can make it more permanent.”
I put more weight on her neck but she seems unaffected. She just looks up at me and smiles.
What the hell is up?
She squirms under me but in a good way, which doesn’t seem like a good thing considering. I put my hand on her forehead and start moving her head around in a circle. She just smiles at me. I snap her neck.
Whoa!
I wake up in a hospital bed.
What the hell is happening with me?
I look around.
Buffy’s leaving?
I grab her wrist and she stops. She turns around and looks down at me.
What’s wrong? She looks freaked out.
“Buffy?”
She’s just staring at me; it’s starting to get freaky. There’s been this tension between us ever since we met… okay, since I met her, she already knew me from the first time we met except I don’t remember it. But this is different… it’s like the tension just got 20 times worse.
“Buffy, is everything okay?”
“Okay? Yeah, uh, no, uh…”
I let go of her hand and she sits back down in the chair.
“It depends on what you mean by okay.”
I sit up in the bed.
“Isn’t there just the one definition? But then I may just have forgotten the other one, what with my memory and all.”
She forces herself to laugh.
Something is definitely wrong.
“What’s wrong?”
“What? N-nothing… nothing’s wrong. Why would anything be wrong?”
Hmm, let me think.
“You just seem kinda nervous is all?”
I reach for her and she sits back in her chair, just out of arm’s reach.
Whoa! What did I do?
“Nervous? Why would I be nervous? What would I have to be nervous about?”
I move to sit at the edge of the bed and she jumps out of her seat and takes a few steps back.
No, of course you’re not nervous. Why would you be nervous?
“Something’s obviously wrong. Why won’t you tell me?”
“Well I… it’s…”
Look at what’s happened to her because of me. This probably never happened before I came back into her life.
“Buffy from what you tell me I can kinda guess I didn’t really give you much of a reason to trust me. But I’m not that person, not anymore. And I know when you look at me you probably still see that person you can’t trust looking back at you, but they aren’t. When I look at you I see the person who asked her best friend to leave her own home so I had a place to sleep. The person who stuck with me even after all the people I’ve hurt and killed…”
She looks at me.
Why is she looking at me like that?
“I see someone who, who defended me against the people she obviously cares about because she felt I deserved another chance. And I see someone who when she asked me to let a bunch of government demon hunters strap me down and do tests on me, I let them. Someone I trust. You don’t do those kinds of things for someone unless you trust them… or if you wanna get them in the sack.”
It’s almost as if she panics when I said that.
“I don’t want to get you in the sack Faith.”
“Okay, then I guess it’s safe to say that we trust each other.”
“It’s not a matter of trust Faith. I-I do trust you it’s just…”
“What? What is it then?”
I take a step towards her and she takes a step back.
“Faith I … I have to tell you something and you may not like it.”
I may not like it? What… am I dying or something?
I look back at the hospital bed and then at Buffy.
“Does it have something to do with these tests they did on me?”
“Yes…”
Oh I’m gonna kill those bastards.
“What did they do to me? Did they brainwash me or something? Did they put some sort of chip in my head like that Spike guy you mentioned?”
She takes a few steps toward me and then stops.
“No it…”
It’s like she’s second guessing herself or something.
“It’s nothing they did to you. They didn’t brainwash you or anything. It’s about what they found out.”
Um, okay… I’m not sure what to think. She obviously doesn’t have good news but all I want is for her to stop feeling so… so… I don’t know. She’s way past nervous but she’s nowhere near panic.
“What did they find out? Why is it so hard for you to tell me?”
“Faith I-I’m trying to tell you but its hard b-because it’s… it’s my fault.”
Her fault… because of the coma thing…?
“Buffy I thought we talked about how I don’t blame you for what you did to me when you put me in that coma?”
“We did and I know but… Faith you could die!”
Die? I’m dying?
“I’m dying?”
“You could, yes…”
When did this happen?
“What do you mean I’m dying? How the hell am I dying?”
“Faith you’re not dying but you could die.”
Why the hell is there a difference?
“If there’s even the slightest chance that I’m gonna die, that makes me dying doesn’t it?”
“Well yeah but, but Faith there’s a chance we can…”
It was probably those army brats.
“Those government bastards did this to me, I’m gonna kill him…”
I start walking towards the door. Buffy tries to stop me.
“Wait Faith, don’t…”
I deck her on my way out with a right cross.
“Where is he?”
I get outside and look both ways down this stupid hallway.
“Where the hell is soldier boy? I knew that Riley guy wasn’t on the level.”
Buffy comes running out of the hospital room, trying to stop me.
Her fault, she said it was her fault.
A couple of army boys, decked out in army gear are coming down the hall.
“Faith, calm down… it’s not their fault.”
Something snaps inside me. She’s right.
“You’re right, it’s yours…”
I run at her at full speed.
I’m gonna kill her.
We fly back into the room and I land on top of her on the floor.
I’m gonna kill her. She said this was her fault.
She holds my hands back as I try to strangle her. I’m putting all my weight on her and she’s still holding me up.
“Faith, please stop… I don’t want to hurt you…”
“Why? You said this was your fault, how do I know you didn’t take my memory yourself?”
The army guys come in.
“No, stay back… Faith, yes… it is my fault that this is happening but, but not for the reasons you’re thinking.”
I feel her try to flip me off her but I’m ready for her.
“Yeah and how do you know?”
She struggles to get my hands away from her neck but I’m too strong for her.
“Faith I didn’t do this to you but it is my fault because, because whoever did this to you… they did it because they wanted to get to me.”
I feel myself start to weaken and my body starts to shake. Every time she says my name I start to shake a little bit more.
“Faith, those guys, the ones who attacked us at Angel’s, do you remember them?”
“Y-y-yes…”
“I think that they did this to you… Faith they did this to you…”
I feel my whole body shake.
“Faith you can’t let them do this to you… Faith I can help you if you let me…”
I collapse on top her, exhausted.
Oh god, what have I done?
I feel her arms around me.
“Will you let me help you Faith?”
“Y-yes…”
Everything goes black.
The kind of plans you never follow through on
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Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Faith I can help you if you let me…”
She falls on top of me.
Is she okay? What do I do? Something tells me to put my arms around her, to keep her close.
“Will you let me help you Faith?”
I know I said I’d get Giles to, to do it but…
“Y-yes…”
But she trusts me and with how Faith’s last meeting with Giles went I bet it would take them too much time to trust each other. We may not have that much time left before whoever did this to her, comes after us both.
“Ma’am…?”
I’ll train her myself. It’s the only way, if she’s okay.
I check her pulse.
She’s okay.
“Ma’am, are you okay?”
I’ll just have to be sure I don’t cause any little ‘accidents’ between us.
“Ma’am is everything okay?”
Hun, oh…
“Yeah… everything’s okay.”
I roll Faith off me and she falls limply next to me.
What happened may have worn me out but I think I’m okay.
“Everything’s fine…”
I hear footsteps coming this way. I look up and the two soldiers are picking up Faith and taking her away.
“Hey…”
I get up and get in their way.
“Where are you going? Aren’t you gonna put her back in the bed until she recovers?”
“I’m sorry ma’am but we have to follow orders.”
“Orders… What orders?”
“The general orders we’ve been given concerning this H.S.T…”
H.S.T…?
“She is to remain under your supervision only so long as she does not pose a threat to you or any of the agents.”
You gotta stop them, if you don’t you may never see her again. That’s what these government types do; they make people they think are dangerous disappear. You have to do something.
“She… She isn’t a threat to you or to me.”
“What?”
Oh great, that’s a pile of crap and you know it.
“And I hear you asking the question… exactly how does that work but if you don’t put Faith back in that bed and leave her there until I get back you won’t stay conscious long enough to ask the question.”
They look at each other, trying to figure out what to do.
Yeah, and you know I’ll do it.
“I may not kill humans but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy kicking their asses from time to time.”
“We have our orders ma’am.”
They try to avoid me but I put up both my hands and stop them.
“I don’t give a damn about your orders. Your orders don’t apply to me and they don’t apply to her. She’s under Riley Finn’s jurisdiction and you can’t take her anywhere with his authorization.”
They look at each other again.
God it’s like these two were surgically joined at the brain or something.
“Ma’am, Agent Finn is the one who issued these orders.”
What? God damn it Riley, I thought we trusted each other.
“Look, put her back in that bed while I go talk to Riley. I’m gonna go see if I can change those orders of her, now put her back in that bed.”
They take a second to think about it and then hoist her up, an arm on each of their shoulders as they turn and put her back in her bed.
“Okay… I’ll be back soon, and she better be here.”
“Y-y-yes ma’am...”
“Good…”
I turn around and leave.
She better be here when I get back.
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Willow’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I love this feeling. This feeling of incredible warmth and, I guess it’s called bliss, I haven’t felt this way too often but it’s definitely better than joy so I guess bliss is the right word. Lying here with Tara in my arm, everything feels right.
I kiss her naked shoulder and this tingly feeling I’ve been feeling gets, well, more tingly.
I wonder if I have any replies from the magic message board.
She tosses in her sleep and more of her skin touches mine.
God what am I thinking? I should just lie here with this beautiful naked woman I love with my heart and soul and just enjoy this moment. But I promised Buffy I’d have that list figured out by tomorrow.
I lean over to look at the clock and squeeze her tighter as I do.
God I love the way she smells. I catch the smell of her hair as I lean into her. Her hair always seems to smell like cheese.
I plant a kiss on her cheek and her smile widens. I whisper softly to her.
“Tara?”
She stirs but she isn’t awake.
Thank god, to awaken such a sleeping beauty would be a crime, especially since she’s MY sleeping beauty. Its 4am I better hop to it.
I slowly pull my arm out from under Tara, trying real hard not to disturb her slumber. I get my arm out and she shifts to adjust.
Good, I didn’t wake her up.
I slowly roll out of bed and walk around to Tara’s side. I kiss her forehead and her smile gets even wider.
“Tara?”
She’s still asleep.
I take a step back and look at her.
Right, I forgot about her power. She can read auras. She can sense things about people, things that they may or may not know about themselves. She may not know what it is but she can sense it, but it gives her a sorta sixth sense, she feels people when they’re around. It’s a good thing I give her happy feelings, course I gave her more than happy feelings a few hours ago… while I should have been helping Buffy figure out what this new big bad has done to Faith.
I walk over to the computer and sit down.
No need to get dressed, she’s pretty much seen everything there is to… well seen was a while back, we’re strictly in the happy kissy touching place now.
The computer comes out of sleep mode and I look at the screen.
I even left the message board up and running.
I refresh it to see if there are any replies.
There are a number of them; I hope its good news.
I open the first message.
It depends on the definition of good.
Putting your Faith in the wrong person------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
John’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“This is the only way we can get help right now to make sure ‘Two into one’ doesn’t come to pass. The boss said he’s reserving the troops in case the rest of the prophecy comes to pass.”
I hate these caves. Why can’t evil villains find a less gloomy place to set up shop?
“I know but… doesn’t it sound like he trusts that we can stop ‘Two into one’?”
I stop and turn to Dave and grab him by the collar.
“Whether he thinks we will succeed or not changes nothing. You know as well as I do that if the prophecy is to be fulfilled it’s not only the boss who’ll be destroyed, he’ll simply be the first on the chopping block. All demons everywhere will be at risk…”
I let go of Dave and start walking through these damn caves again, he follows close behind.
“Even The First and its non-corporeal ass are at risk…”
“I know but we can’t trust this guy any more than we can trust the slayers NOT to slay vampires. He’s got his own agenda. You know that.”
“Yeah well if all else fails we’ll get rid of him so he doesn’t get in the way when we finally decide to go ahead and destroy the world.”
“True.”
“Okay quit… we can’t let him know we’re coming, it ruins the whole ‘coming out of nowhere’ thing.”
We start walking into the cavern pocket and he’s sitting at the computers, monitoring the initiative from his little hidey hole.
“Adam…”
“I heard you coming a mile away.”
I punch Dave in the face and it floors him.
“I told you we should’ve been quieter.”
“Why have you come?”
“We’ve come to talk about the slayer. We understand she is a problem for you.”
“The slayer is not a problem. It is true she has eluded my killing her on several occasions however she is not a problem.”
Oh trust me, she IS a problem.
“The slayer is going to find a way to destroy you, it’s what she does.”
“It is true that the slayer is resourceful but it is only a matter of time before she can’t run anymore and I kill her.”
They are gonna kill this loser so bad, stupid egomaniac.
“So I suppose you have all the information available on slayers then?”
“I have enough.”
”Oh really, so then I guess that information has told you that there are two slayers in this town?”
“Two of them…?”
He gets up and turns to face me.
“Yes there are two slayers here.”
I start walking in a circle around him.
“That does not compute with my information about slayers. There can only be another slayer when the old slayer dies. There can not be two.”
“Then your information is inaccurate because there are two.”
“How is this possible?”
“The slayer you know… Buffy Summers, she was in a fight with a very powerful vampire in which she was killed.”
“And this caused the creation of a new slayer?”
“Yes but the slayer who was killed did not die. She was revived by some friends of hers.”
“Ah, I see, by her civilian counterparts.”
“Yes…”
“So this brings up an important question. If you already have all this pertinent information, why are you giving it to me? What do you wish in return?”
“We want the slayers dead. Isn’t that enough?”
“No, it is not. Why would you risk your miserable existence to come here and give me this information?”
I stop circling him and look him in the eyes.
“All right… what do you know about prophecies?”
“I tend not to pay attention to such things; they are nothing but literary nonsense.”
“So are vampires and demons to most humans but you and I are proof of their existence. Are we literary nonsense?”
He cocks his head to the side slightly.
Gotcha…
“You have my attention.”
“There is one that was written of particular interest to me and my associates. It tells of two great forces of good whose power is rooted in darkness, two slayers, becoming as one. It is written that once joined, no force in the universe can stand against them. Not even the forces that created them.”
“And you believe that these slayers are the ones in the prophecy?”
“Yes… we do. My boss has charged me and my partner here with stopping this prophecy.”
Dave stands up and cleans himself off.
“So you have come to me for help in your little quest?”
“Yes, we have.”
He takes a few minutes to think about it but I can tell what his answer is gonna be.
“Very well, at the current time our goals intersect. The death of the slayers is important. We shall work together. What do you wish me to do?”
Perfect…
“Nothing at the moment, simply monitor the initiative in case of any unusual activity. We’ll be back when we need you to take a more active role.”
I turn around and Dave and I start to walk out of the caves.
“I shall be waiting.”
This’ll make everything much easier, I know it.
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Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Riley?”
I think I’ve been all over this place. I’m surprised no one’s tried to stop me, there have been some dirty looks but that’s cause most of them still blame me for Maggie’s… I mean Professor Walsh’s death which had nothing to do with me. It was all Adam’s fault. Of course that doesn’t stop most of them from blaming me anyway.
I see Forrest escorting, what I’m sure they are still calling H.S.T.s, to a holding cell. The demon’s being dragged by two lackeys. I run up to Forrest and get in his way.
If anyone knows where Riley would be it’d be him.
“Forrest…”
“What do you want, Summers?”
“Have you seen Riley?”
“I’m surprised you don’t know what with you guys being attached at the hip and all… in more ways than one.”
Damn it Forrest.
“Look, do you know where he is or not? It’s kinda important.”
“Take the hostile to its cell… It’s important is it? Well then I better just drop everything I’m doing and help you because the problems of the slayer are more important than ours. Or should I say slayers, I’m still not sure how that works?”
“It doesn’t matter, what matters is where Riley is.”
“Geez, calm down, Riley should be back in a few minutes, he’s out tracking an H.S.T. He… he just came in.”
Forrest points up the stairs and I look up. Riley’s coming down the stairs and starts toward me.
“Buffy, are you okay?”
Am I okay?
“How could you do that to us?”
He stops in front of me as Forrest leaves.
“What do you mean? Did what to whom?”
“Me and Faith, you were actually gonna have her thrown in a holding cell?”
“She’s dangerous Buffy. To you most of all and you know that.”
“She’s not just some demon you can lock up and do experiments on. She’s a human being.”
“Yeah, she’s a human with about as much power as you and a desire to kill you.”
“She doesn’t actually want to kill me. She’s only doing this because of whatever those bastards did to her.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that she’s trying to kill you, and besides, you don’t even know how you’re gonna get what’s in her system without one of you ending up dead, maybe both of you.”
Riley, don’t do this.
“I do. I’ve been thinking about it and I’m gonna train her.”
“Train her?”
“Yes… whoever did this to her is gonna come after us. Especially when they find out their plan to kill me failed and without her memory Faith isn’t prepared.”
“So you’re gonna teach the woman who’s trying to kill you all your moves so it doesn’t take her as long to kill you?”
“No that’s not what I’m doing. I’m trying to help her.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
It’s not like I’m doing this because I wanna jump her bones. I’m trying to help her.
“I just don’t understand why you’re helping her. She’s trying to kill you.”
This has nothing to do with how I feel about Faith.
“Riley you just don’t understand what Faith has been through. She’s been through a lot in her life and she’s learned not to trust people. But the higher powers have given her a second chance, a chance to learn how to trust people. She has a chance to learn to be a better person and I have to be there to help her.”
“Why you, Buffy…? I mean why does it have to be you? What about Mr. Giles? I mean isn’t that what he does for a living, train slayers?”
“Not officially, he was fired. Besides, I already thought about that and the truth is Giles doesn’t completely trust Faith and I’m not sure Faith totally trusts him either…”
“Can’t say I blame them.”
Oh my god, I don’t believe he just said that.
“How can you say that?”
I resist the urge to kick his ass in front of the entire initiative.
“How can I not?”
“Look, Riley… right now I’m the only one who Faith can really trust and we may not have time to rebuild any trust Giles and Faith might have had for each other. We have no idea how much time we have before they come after us and Faith has to be ready. Now look, I need you Riley. I need your help. I need to take back this general order of yours while Faith recovers.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
He takes a step toward me and I take one backward.
“Buffy, you aren’t listening to me Faith is dangerous, it’s part of my job to keep dangerous things from hurting anyone.”
She isn’t safe here.
“There are more dangerous things out there than her and in case you didn’t know she’s supposed to be one of the good guys.”
“Except she isn’t really all that good is she…?”
That… that isn’t the point…
“If you won’t take back that order then she isn’t safe here and I’ll have to get her out of here while I still can.”
I turn around and start walking back to where Faith should be.
“Buffy, wait…”
I ignore him.
He’s just like everyone else. They don’t understand. They can’t see that we have a chance to help her, a chance to save her soul.
Going nowhere in a real big hurry------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tara’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------God, I love this feeling, to feel completely comfortable in my own skin. I never had this feeling until I met Willow. I was so lonely before I met her. I felt empty and unsure of myself ALL the time, but she changed all that. She makes me feel like I have a reason to live.
I roll over on my back and stretch out on the bed.
I’m suddenly struck with the lack of warmth on the other side of the bed.
I sit up slightly and look around.
Did she leave without telling me? Well I guess that fact that she isn’t here sorta answers that question.
I sit up a little more and the pillow crackles.
Wait a minute… pillows down crackle.
I look down at my hand and there’s a piece of paper under it. I pick it up and look at it.
It’s a note… from Willow.
“Tara,
I’m sorry I didn’t wake you but you just looked so incredibly peaceful lying there I figured it would be a crime to wake you…”
She’s so sweet...
“I think I found something important about what’s going on and I needed to talk to Giles right away. I’ll be back later but if you want to join us, feel free.
All my love,
Willow”
I fold the note and put it on the nightstand.
Should I go over there? Willow told me where Mr. Giles lives but I’ve never actually been there and I haven’t really met any of Willow’s friends besides Buffy. It might be kinda awkward. I might be able to help. I should go.
I get out of bed.
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Xander’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------And the scroll says ‘… there will be no birth, only death…’
I close the book.
This is getting us nowhere.
“Giles we’re not getting any closer. We’ve checked just about every vampire cult on record and come up with nothing.”
“You’re right… We have to regroup. What do we know?”
“Big vampire cult types who have a fetish for slayers blood and a need to stop something called ‘Two into one’ which we’re only assuming is some sort of prophecy thing, and a vampire slayer with no memory and a need to kill.”
“Of course…”
Of course… what does he mean of course?
“Hun?”
“We’ve been so busy trying to find a connection between the cult and this prophecy thing that we forgot to consider the other connection.”
“What connection?”
I’m obviously missing something.
“The slayer connection… We forgot to research any slayer prophecies. Xander, help me look for The Codex. Hopefully the Watcher’s Council didn’t take it with them when they left.”
“Or we could just go looking for the Book of Karameth.”
I turn around and Willow’s standing in the door.
What’s the Book of Karameth?
Save me, help me, kill me------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------What have I done? I tried to kill Buffy… again. And now I find out I have no control over myself when I do try and kill her because whoever or whatever decided to put some drug in me and it makes me crazy.
I sit up in the hospital bed.
I can’t let her do this. I’m a danger to her and everyone around her. What if the next time something sets me off, one of her friends gets caught in the crossfire? I’d never forgive myself if I hurt someone she cared about, never mid the fact that SHE would never forgive me if I hurt her friends… or worse. I have to stop her from helping me before it kills her.
I look over at the two guards standing about 10 feet away from me, like statues.
But how do I do it?
I look down at the bed and close my eyes.
No… it won’t work. She would never let it happen. She’s been so nice to me, trying to keep me safe from those things that go bump in the night… why? Why is she helping me? She’s still helping me even though I’m a pawn in some evil plot to kill her. Why? Why do I know that if I told these commando boys to lock me in a cage where I’ll never hurt anyone ever again she’d spend every waking moment finding a way to get me out?
There’s something more going on. This can’t just be about the guilt over trying to kill me. She’s risking her life to help me; you don’t just do that out of guilt. W-Was there… Was there something between us that I don’t remember?
I open my eyes and move to the edge of the bed, head in my hands.
Oh god, there probably was something between us. I mean that would explain a lot, the dreams, the weird tension I can’t figure out, her whole constant desire to help me even though it could get her killed. It’s start to make sense I mean, if we were involved then there were feelings, and if there were feelings she probably still has them and is hoping I still do.
Do I have feelings for Buffy? I don’t know, I’m grateful… for everything she’s done to help me. I think she’s a good person who’s trying to do the right thing, but feelings? I can’t have feelings for anyone; I don’t even know what my feelings used to be so how do I know what my feelings are now?
I run my fingers through my hair.
I mean what if I get my memory back and it turns out I don’t have feelings for Buffy? What if I don’t even have a thing for girls? What if I don’t like how she feels about me and think she’s too clingy or something? There’s not way for me to know for sure. The only thing I know for sure is that if I don’t stop her she’s gonna die, and I think there’s only one way to do it. I’ve got only one chance; I have to stop her at any cost.
I look up as someone walks through the door.
“Buffy we, we have to…”
She walks in and knocks out both guards as she passes. She grabs my hand and tries to lead me away but I don’t budge.
“Faith we have to go before…”
“No…”
I can’t let her do this, it’s the only way.
“Buffy we have to talk…”
“We can talk later, after we run.”
Again she tries to leave but I stop her.
“Buffy we have to talk now because I need your help.”
She turns to me and looks me in the eyes.
“Whatever it is I will help you but now is not the time. We have to get out of here before these guards wake up.”
Just do it before she gives you a reason not to.
“Buffy you have to kill me.”
Chicken soup for the suicidal slayer’s soul
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Kill her? She wants me to kill her?
“Faith, what the hell are you talking about? I’m not gonna kill you.”
“But… But Buffy it’s the only way.”
“Only way…?”
“It’s the only way to stop me from hurting anyone else.”
Why does she think she’s hurt someone?
“Faith you haven’t hurt anyone.”
“I tried to kill you.”
“Yeah but look…”
I pat myself down like I’m checking for all my body parts.
“I’m fine… and besides you trying to kill me is nothing new. You’ve tried to kill me before and I told you how that turned out. Remember our little coma talk?”
Okay why do I feel like I’m over compensating with the humour?
“I know you’re okay now but how long is it gonna last? How long will it be till I can’t stop myself from killing you in your sleep? How long will it be until someone gets caught in the crossfire? I’d never be able to live with myself if I hurt someone you cared about and I don’t think you’d ever forgive me and I know I couldn’t live with THAT.”
She cares about me? I knew it wasn’t one sided I just… hey, stay focused.
“Faith the truth is I’m not sure how I’d react if you hurt my friends because I ‘d know it wasn’t your fault, not entirely. Anything you’ve done, anything you might do is because of that damn vampire cult. It’s their fault, not yours.”
“I know but…”
I take a step towards her and put my hand on her shoulder.
“And besides, you’ll have me by your side to stop you if something goes wrong.”
She looks down in shame.
“But what if…”
I put my hand under her chin and lift it up till we’re eye to eye.
“You’ll deal, I know you will.”
“How…? How can you know when I don’t?”
It’s like she’s giving up.
“I know because I know you. You always find a way to deal with stuff.”
“Maybe I could’ve if I was the old Faith but I’m not. I don’t know how or why the old Faith might’ve been able to deal with being a threat to everyone around her but I can’t… I won’t. That’s why you have to help me.”
She reaches out and hugs me. I can feel her start to cry.
This isn’t working. I’m trying to be there for her but she’s got herself convinced that there’s only one way to stop her, which isn’t true. I’m not getting through to her; I may have to give her a little tough love.
“How…?”
I pull her off me.
“How would killing you help you hun?”
She takes a few steps back and tries to wipe the tears from her eyes.
“What?”
This might be a bad idea but I have to try and get through to her before she becomes some suicidal loser like Spike.
I shove her.
“Didn’t you hear me? How is your death gonna help anyone? How is it gonna solve anything?”
I take a step forward and she steps back.
She looks afraid all of the sudden.
“I-I don’t know, I’m just… I’m just trying to…”
“Give up? Yeah I noticed. It’s kinda pathetic. You’re a slayer Faith, slayers don’t give up.”
“But I’m not a slayer. “Yes you are Faith. Whether you believe it or not, you are a slayer. We both are and it’s time you started acting like one.”
“I just… I don’t wanna hurt anyone.”
You might be hurting her now but it’ll be better for her in the long run.
I shove her again and start walking towards her, it’s almost like I’m stalking her.
“Wake the fuck up. You put people’s lives in danger everyday. It’s part of being a slayer Faith. You can’t just give up because you might hurt someone. Xander and Willow are in danger all the time, but if I spent all my time worrying about whether they were gonna get hurt we’d all end up dead.”
“I-I-B-but… I-I…”
You can do it… I know you wanna say you’re sorry and hold her close but you’re almost getting through to her.
“God could you BE any more pathetic…?”
I’m starting to sound like Faith, the old Faith.
“W-Why are you saying these things?”
“The truth hurts babe…”
“B-B-but… b-b-but…”
“You sound pathetic… I almost wish you were the old Faith, at least then we’d be able to fight out our problems like we used to.”
I see a flash of anger in her but she tries to keep it hidden.
Just a little more Buffy, then everything will be okay.
“I-I-I’m s-sorry I…”
“God Faith now you’re sorry? You’re even too pathetic to kick your ass.”
Ow!
She hits me with a right cross and knocks me on my ass.
“Shut up!”
There we go.
I get up slowly. She starts to panic.
“Oh B-Buffy I… I’m sorry…”
I readjust my jaw.
“Aw come on Faith…”
I hit her in the face and she’s on the floor in seconds.
“Is that all you got? You’re supposed to be a slayer.”
She gets up.
“I-I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Come on Faith, you’re supposed to be a slayer. You and me remember, The Chosen Two?”
She tries to punch me but I dodge it and send her stumbling a couple steps but she keeps her balance.
She’s remembering, whether she knows it or not she’s remembering.
“I was gonna train you Faith, help you remember how to be a slayer.”
“I’m not a slayer.”
She takes a swing at me but she misses and I take a step back.
“I noticed that. I was gonna help, but if you’re just gonna GIVE up…”
I take a swing at her but she grabs my arm and bends it until I’m literally bending over backwards. She’s holding me up by my arm and we’re standing inches from each other. Suddenly my adrenaline starts pumping and I start breathing heavy.
Don’t… I know you want to but you can’t. That’s not what you need right now, you don’t want to complicate things this way.
“See… Faith…?”
She’s staring at me, almost like she’s staring into me. Then she blinks and it’s like she snaps back to reality. She lets go and I drop to the floor, flat on my back.
I think she feels something. She wouldn’t have looked at me the way she did if she didn’t fees something.
“You are a slayer, whether you want to admit it or not you’re a slayer…”
She takes a few moments to think, running her fingers through her hair as I get up.
She knows I’m right.
“I’m trying to help you Faith, but I can’t help you if all you want is to give up.”
She turns to face me.
“I know… I’m sorry I… I shouldn’t give up, you’re right. I’m just… I’m not sure how to deal with being a threat.”
I take a few steps toward her and put my hands at her shoulders.
“I told you you’ll deal with it, and I’ll be there to help you.”
I pull her to me and she puts her arms around me. I put my arms around her and hold her close.
“T-Thank you Buffy, you don’t know how much this means to me.”
We stand there together, her head on my shoulder.
“I know… I know…”
The two guards on the floor start to wake up. I let go of Faith.
“But right now, we have to get out of here before those guys wake up.”
We break our hug and she takes a step back.
“Why?”
“I’ll explain it later right now, we have to go.”
She looks down at the guards and then back at me.
“O-Okay, let’s go.”
She takes my hand and I lead her out, down the hall.
Mixed signals of the confusing kind------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------So what do I do now? I mean, I though there was something between us but after the way she went nuts on me back at that initiative place I’m just not sure.
I look over at her, walking a few steps ahead of me to that Giles guy’s house.
She kept telling me how much she wanted to help me and then she went psycho on me. I know most couples get into fight and all but I’m pretty sure normal people don’t resort to hand to hand to resolve their differences.
I rub my jaw, it’s still al little sore.
Buffy said we used to kick each other’s asses all the time, that kinda lends weight to the idea that we were never involved… but then there was that moment. Right after I got the best of her, I don’t know where the hell that came from, but then… it was almost like that time when she woke me from that dream thing I had, it was like there was some kind of connection between us.
We turn a corner and continue walking.
But what kind of connection is it? It’s not like I can draw on old relationships to figure it out or current relationships as the case may be. Oh god, what if I’m already in a relationship? What if I was involved with Buffy and then left her for some guy who turned out to be evil? That would explain why all her friends hate me, and the weird connection between us. What am I doing? I have no proof of anything… but what if I’m right? What do I do? Should I ask her about it? What if nothing I’m thinking is true? What if it’s all just in my screwed up, lack of a past head? Maybe Buffy was just shocked that I got the best of her. Yeah, it was all just the surprise. But then what was with the whole feeling thing? I should ask her.
“Buffy?”
She stops and turns to me.
“Yeah…?”
This is a bad idea.
“Um..”
This is a very bad idea. I’m not sure what to say.
“Is everything okay?”
‘I… well… I-I just, I wanted to thank you for what, for what you did back there.”
“You mean getting you out of the initiative alive? I told you, they were gonna lock you in some room and do experiments on you. I couldn’t let them do that to you it just… it wouldn’t be right.”
“No I… that’s not what I… well yes, thank you but, well… what I meant was what you did for me. You really helped me.”
She takes a few steps, trying to go back to our path.
”Don’t mention it.”
“No…”
She stops again.
“Really, I was ready to give up. I was about ready to shoot myself with one of those army boys’ guns, but you stopped me.”
“I couldn’t let you kill yourself.”
I should do something, give her something.
“But really I mean, I wanna thank you some how. I feel like I should do something or say something to pay you back for everything you’ve done for me.”
“It’s okay Faith.”
I move toward her.
“But you… I mean.... you gave me a reason to go on living…”
She puts one hand on my shoulder and the other on my cheek. I tilt my head into her touch. It’s warm and inviting.
“Yes and that’s the kind of thing you can’t pay back, and I don’t expect you to.”
“Well I… I have to do something.”
She’s got this look in her eyes like, like she wants to say something but she’s trying not to.
“Okay look, if you really want to pay me back you can stay alive long enough to help me kill Adam and stop this prophecy thing…”
Prophecy thing...?
“What prophecy thing?”
“There’s a prophecy.”
“Yeah, I got that. What kind of prophecy?”
“Well, we’re not sure yet but we’re working on it. You know those vampires who attacked us?”
“The ones who made me go all Lizzie Borden on you? Yeah I think I remember them.”
“They said something kinda weird…”
“Right… something about, one into two, two into three or something…”
“Two into one…”
“Right…”
“Well we think it’s some sort of prophecy of some kind.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well they seemed to wanna stop whatever it is, plus it doesn’t really sound like a battle cry.”
“Okay so do we know why they’re trying to kill you?”
“US Faith, they’re trying to kill US. And no, we don’t know but we’re working on it… we work on a lot of things.”
“I’m getting that.”
“That’s why we’re going to see Giles. He’s good with research and prophecies and stuff. He figured out the prophecy about the time I died. Now come on, his place is around the corner.”
Um… she died?
“Whoa, wait… you died?”
“Yeah but I’m okay, I was only dead for a few minutes.”
“Yeah but, you were dead.”
“Yeah, how do you think you became a slayer in the first place? The only way a new slayer is called is when the old slayer dies. How else did you think it happened?”
Well I dunno.
“I-I guess I thought maybe I was the slayer first and then I died or something.”
“Nope, it was the other way around. I died, you became a slayer. It’s pretty simple concept really. Come on now we should get to Giles’.”
“Okay.”
I follow her around the corner and up the few feet to Mr. Giles’ house.
Is that why she feels so responsible? Because what’s happening to me is her fault in more ways than one, if it hadn’t been for her I wouldn’t be in this situation. If it hadn’t been for her I wouldn’t have become a slayer.
We climb the stairs and I look over at her.
God, what a burden for her to carry, not only does she have to worry about saving the world but she has to deal with the idea that every bad thing that I do is her fault. What if that’s all I’ve been feeling? Maybe that’s all and I’m just being paranoid...
We reach the front door and Buffy opens the door. As we walk in, everyone turns around and looks at us.
Wow, did the temperature just drop in here?
Musical stools------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
John’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------With Adam on our side I’m sure we’ll find a way to kill those god damn slayers. It’s only a matter of time.
Someone runs into my office.
“Sir…”
I look up and Dave is standing at the other end of my desk.
“What is it?”
“Sir… we may have located it.”
Located it? What the fuck is he talking about?
“Located what exactly?”
“The book, we’ve located the book.”
“The book…? Which book are you talking about? There happen to be a number of them in the world.”
“The Book of Karameth sir…. The Book of Karameth…”
“The Book of Karameth, I thought it was lost in the dark ages?”
“Yes sir, but we believe we have located it.”
“Okay then, why the hell isn’t it sitting right here on my desk?”
“Well sir, we don’t know exactly where it is but we believe it to have ended up somewhere in Sunnydale.”
God damn it do I have to do everything?
“All right, you keep searching for it. Meanwhile, send our forces watching the slayers to ‘distract’ them while we search for the book.”
“Yes sir.”
He turns and runs out the door.
That book is crucial.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Yeah, it’s definitely gotten colder in here.
Buffy walks inside but I stand at the door.
They’re looking at me with this cold stare like they don’t know what to think.
“Hey guys, how’s it…?”
She turns around and sees her friends staring at me in the doorway.
“… Going…”
Maybe I should just go, let her have her meeting with her friends.
“Look, guys, I know it’s an awkward situation and we all have things we’d like to say to Faith…”
Oh good that’ll make things MUCH better.
“… But whatever’s happening affects her too and whether you guys like it or not that means she’s involved so can we TRY and get along?”
Slowly, most of Buffy’s friends go back to what they were doing moments before I walked in, everyone but Buffy and that Mr. Giles guy.
“Faith you don’t have to stand there like a human doorstop.”
“Yes Faith, please come in.”
That MR. Giles guy turns and goes over to an easy chair.
Right, walking… I think I remember how to do that, course I guess no one would blame me if I forgot.
Slowly I start walking into the living room.
What am I doing? I can’t sit with these people, they all hate me.
Buffy walks over to a row of stools and picks up two stool which she carries over to join the group. She sits down on one and then looks over at me, standing a few steps from the door.
“It’s okay Faith…”
She pats the stool next to her.
“You can sit here.”
Um, okay…
“Thanks.”
I start towards the stool and Buffy turns her attention to her friends.
Um… okay talk about my need to get a clue.
I sit down on the stool and look over at her.
Did she want me to sit here because she wanted to sit next to me?
She looks at me and smiles before going back to her friends.
Or did she want me to sit here because she knew no one else would wanna sit with me?
I take a look around the room.
Everyone’s trying to act like its okay but it’s not, they don’t want me here.
“Okay, so what do we know?”
“Not much, I’ve been researching this prophecy you mentioned, this ‘Two into One’ thing… I’ve uncovered small references to some sort of joining, a melding of two forces, but like most prophecies there don’t seem to be any references to any specifics, such as how or when or even why.”
“And the news keeps getting better I bet. What about Wesley? What does he say?”
Right, I forgot about him.
“Well I left a couple messages but he hasn’t returned any of my calls, however we have a theory…”
All these people wanna kill me, I should make a list.
“A theory…?”
I should be paying attention instead of worrying about myself.
“Well, Willow did some checking and apparently there’s some big buzz in the demon world, something about a slayer prophecy.”
“That’s great, cause the last time there was a slayer prophecy my life went all peaches and cream.”
There was a last slayer prophecy?
“What… what happened last time?”
Buffy turns to me.
“Oh, that was the time I died.”
Oh…
“Oh…”
“Wait what? She remembers?”
That guy who attacked me, I think his name is Xander, stands up quickly.
“She remembers about you dying? She got her memory back… quick we have to tie her up before she can get us alone.”
I stand up and back away a few steps in retreat.
“Hey whoa, hold up a sec.”
He takes a few steps to me and I put up my hands.
“I knew we couldn’t trust her.”
Buffy steps in as he gets a little closer.
“Whoa over-react much, Xander? She knows because I told her about it a few minutes ago on our way here, okay so just calm down all right?”
He backs off and goes back to his seat.
God, tense much?
Buffy sits down on her stool and after a few seconds I do too.
“All right, now that Xander’s insanity is over can we please get back to the end of the world?”
“Yes… Please… Let’s…”
“Now let’s hear about this prophecy.”
Lies that make the world go round------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------‘Now let’s hear about this slayer prophecy.”
She’s very determined, and somehow, I think it’s because she’s trying to help me.
“Well when we considered the idea that it was a slayer prophecy, I decided it was a good idea to look it up in The Codex and I found something rather odd.”
Odd…?
“What was that?”
Mr. Giles looks over at me for a second and… I don’t know, I don’t see the hint of anger I see in everyone but Buffy.
He doesn’t look angry but I don’t think he’s happy I’m here; I guess you could call it confused.
“I found it refers to the prophecy written in The Book of Karameth…”
“So? What’s so weird about that?”
“Well it’s the only one.”
“Hun…?”
She took the words right out of my mouth.
“It’s the only reference in The Codex.”
“Again I say hun?”
“Buffy this book has existed almost as long as the slayers. It contains every slayer prophecy ever written by man, demon, and everything in between. Not to mention a number of non-slayer prophecies.”
“But this prophecy gets its own section in the slayer library.”
“Exactly…”
“All right, so what do we know about this Book of Karmadeath?”
Karmadeath..? That’s so cute. Why is that cute?
“Karameth Buffy, Willow has had some success in that area. Willow?”
Willow glances over at me with this angry glare.
Okay, I dunno if that’s a bad thing because of the prophecy or just in general because she hates me, uh-oh, no time to worry about that.
“Well, according what I could dig up… The Book of Karameth has been around for a while, it’s said that it contains a lot of powerful magics and apparently a number of prophecies…”
Prophecies…?
“You mean prophecies like this ‘Two into one’ thing that these vampires hate so much?”
I get another angry look.
Okay maybe I’ll just shut up and let her talk; I don’t want to give her any more reasons to hate me.
I look over at Buffy and she’s already looking back at me. She sorta half smiles at me for a second with worry and then her face changes to a weird look before she goes back to her friends.
Okay um, hun?
“Do we have the book?”
“No, over the years there have been a number of references to it appearing places with no discernable pattern but it hasn’t been seen in over a century ago. The last reference to it was somewhere here in North America…”
“But let me guess, we have no idea where.”
“Not for the moment, no… but we’re working on narrowing it down.”
“Good, okay good so we’re making progress. You guys keep working on that and I’ll hit the streets with Faith and see what I can dig up before I start helping her remember her training.”
“All right…”
“Before we go though, any word on Adam?”
Who’s this Adam guy?
“Not a word, there haven’t been any sightings since… well since…”
“Since Faith came back…”
Whoa wait a second; this might not be a good thing.
“I hope you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking are you Xander?”
“Well you have to admit, it can’t just be coincidence that a big powerful killing machine goes into hiding right after your little slayer sister makes her reappearance in our lives.”
Buffy’s my sister? No… no, we don’t look anything alike. I wouldn’t be feeling the way I do if we were sisters. He said we were slayer sisters, not actual sisters.
“Xander she is NOT part of Adam’s plan she’s been in a coma since before Adam existed.”
“But this might be part of that vampire cult’s plan.”
“I said it before Xander and I’ll say it as many times as I have to, to get it in your head. Faith is NOT part of any evil plans and even if she was she wouldn’t remember anyway… SHE HAS, AMNESIA!”
They’re fighting again, I should say something.
“So you keep saying.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I can’t let them keep fighting like this, I should say something, or do something.
“It’s just… there’s no real way for us to know that she really has amnesia but you’ve just gone ahead and accepted it like it’s no big deal. It’s like you’re trying to forget what she did to us, like you tried to do with…”
“Don’t you dare bring him into this...?”
Yes… I should definitely say something.
“I’m sorry to have to be the one to say it but…”
“Then don’t…”
“Hey…”
They turn and look at me.
“Look, I know you all don’t trust me and… from what Buffy’s told me about the things I did I wouldn’t blame you, and I’m sure there are all sorts of things that I did that I don’t know about that would make you hate me. But I promise you, if you guys find out I’m a willing part in some evil plan to hurt Buffy, or anyone else… I won’t fight you. I’ll give up, I’ll surrender, and I’ll do whatever you think is right, okay?”
Everyone sorta half stares at me, thinking about what I just said.
Oh good, a horribly uncomfortable silence is exactly the response I wanted.
Buffy, mercifully, breaks the silence finally.
“See Xander it’s gonna be okay. Now we have more important things to worry about. Willow, have you figured out what those herbs do?”
“Yes, well sorta, I mean, yes and no.”
Yes and no?
“Yes and no?”
She took the words right out of my mouth.
”Well, according to my research, it’s some kind of obsession spell…”
They put some sort of obsession spell on me?
“What kind of obsession spell is it?”
“We’re not sure… we’ve never seen this kind of obsession spell, anywhere.”
“Okay, so what do we do?”
“Well I’m working on a way to break the spell but in order to stop a spell like this I’d usually need to know what the trigger is.”
A trigger…?
“Okay, any idea what the trigger could be?”
What does she mean what the trigger could be?
“Well it could be any number of things…”
Or it could be just one thing.
I shift in my stool and look over at Buffy.
“It could be set to go off during an important battle or just before it. For all we know she could be programmed to go off at a specific smell, taste, or even a sound. We just can’t know for sure.”
I glance over at Buffy.
Yes there is.
“Is there any way for us to stop the spell?”
“Like I said I’m working on a way to break the spell but without the specifics on what the trigger is…”
“Gotcha…”
“Well I’ll let you know as soon as we figure it out.”
What does she mean as soon as we figure it out? I thought we figured it out already.
“All right I believe we’ve covered everything.”
“Right… so Faith and I will go see what we can find out and then I’ll do a quick patrol before bed…”
She lied to them.
“… and I’ll start Faith’s retraining tomorrow.”
She gets up and I decide to get up too.
“You guys will let me know if you find anything else.”
“You know we will Buff.”
“Thanks, I’ll see you all later.”
She puts her hand on my back, gently leading me toward the door. We leave Mr. Giles’ place and all I can think is… She lied to her best friends.
The Seventh Deadly Sin
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Someone’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Kill… Kill the slayer... Gotta kill the slayer… Have to kill the slayer… Have to… Someone’s coming. It’s someone big, someone REALLY big. This is gonna be fun.
I grab his arm as it comes overhead.
“By the sound of those massive mud flaps I’d peg you as a demon, which means you’re in for a world of…”
I open my eyes and look up at whatever stupid demon…
Oh crap…
“… Pain...”
Adam, get up before he butchers you.
“Spike, I want you to come with me.”
Oh yeah that’s a good idea.
“Do you? Well let’s go then.”
I turn around long enough to pull a fist back. I punch him in the stomach.
“Ow!”
Okay I don’t fancy trying that again.
“Come…”
He takes a step forward and I take a couple back.
“You’re going to help me with my problem.”
Right and that’s gonna happen.
“And why’s that exactly?”
“I’m going to help you with yours.”
My problem…? What problem do I have that he can…? Oh, I knew this was gonna be fun.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------She’s been real quiet.
I unlock the door to my dorm room and we walk in.
I don’t think she’s said a word since we left Giles’. Even when we went patrolling for the complete lack of vampires we found. It’s probably a bad thing that we didn’t find any vamps but oddly enough I’m more concerned about Faith.
I close the door behind Faith as she walks into the middle of the room.
She’s just standing in the middle of the room, it’s almost like she’s uncomfortable around me. Oh god, I’m not making her uncomfortable cause I have feelings for her am I? I mean I know I’ve sorta been half staring at her since we left Giles’, but that wasn’t because I think she’s hot. I mean I do think she’s hot but then how does she know that unless I tell her… God… I resist the urge to slap myself in the face that would probably bring up too many more questions than I’m willing to answer.
I can’t keep doing this to myself. Just cause I have this uncontrollable urge to suck on her bottom lip doesn’t mean I should just blurt out how I feel about her, especially with her condition. What am I talking about, her condition? It’s not like she’s diseased and gangrene or something, she’s got amnesia. It’s not contagious. She’s still standing there, still uncomfortable, shifting her weight but never actually moving. Something’s wrong, I should ask her what’s wrong.
“Faith…?”
She turns and looks at me with those big brown eyes of hers.
“Yeah…?”
“Is everything okay?”
She starts pacing slowly and rubbing the back of her head.
“Um… yeah… um…”
Why don’t I believe her?
I take a few steps toward her.
“Are you sure?”
She rubs a hand down her chest.
STOP staring at her chest!
“Well there is one thing…”
Don’t even think it.
“What’s that?”
You know you’re thinking about it but you just have to stop.
“I’m feeling kinda dirty.”
I’m sorry what? Did she say she felt dirty?
“I’m sorry what?”
Get your mind out of the gutter Buffy, she’s not talking about that kind of dirty.
“I’ve been wearing these same clothes for at least a few days now and I’ve been sweating and rolling around in the dirt and everything. Would you mind if I took a shower if you have one? And maybe I could borrow something to sleep in?”
Yeah I’m sure I could find SOMETHING for her to sleeping… stop it Buffy, you’re trying NOT to think that way remember?
“Buffy?”
“Hmm…? Oh, yeah…”
I walk over to my dresser, pick out some clothes. I walk back across the room and hand them to her.
“Here, these should fit well enough.”
“Thanks…”
She smiles at me and I feel all tingly down south.
“N-No problem, the showers over in the bathroom, there should be soap and shampoo in there for you.”
She turns and starts walking to the bathroom.
“I appreciate it.”
Her ass sways as she goes in.
STOP looking at her ass.
I lie down on my bed.
Oh man, I think I really got it bad for her.
I hear the door creak slowly to a close.
I wonder what this all means about me. I mean, am I some kind of lesbian? Am I gonna start checking out chicks at The Bronze or something? I was kind of checking Faith out a second ago. Okay maybe kinda is the wrong word. I was totally checking her out a second ago. But is it just Faith that I have feelings for? Cause that would be different than being a lesbian, course I’m not sure what that difference is but I’m pretty sure there is one… I think. I know the way I feel about Faith is different than the way I felt about Angel, and it’s definitely different than the way I feel about Riley. In fact, I’m not sure how I feel about Riley anymore.
I hear Faith walking around in the bathroom.
I suddenly realize I never heard the door completely close.
I sit up on my bed and look to the bathroom room.
She didn’t close the door all the way. There’s just enough room that I can see Faith as she walks over and stand, back to the door in front of the crack in the door. Stop temping yourself Buffy, you’re just gonna end up kicking yourself, or more likely fucking yourself later on. I know I should look away as she pulls her shirt over her head and throws it away, revealing her nearly blemish free skin. I get all flushed as I run my hand down my chest. I bet she’s got really smooth skin.
I take a deep breath as the warm tingly sensation in my nether regions makes me rub my thighs together. My head gets lighter and my blood runs south as I see her turn and pull her pants down to her ankles. She steps out of view as she steps out of her pants. I lie down on the bed again as I hear the shower turn on.
God, now I know I got it bad for this girl. I’ve gone so low I’ve actually resorted to becoming a peeping Tom, or should I say a peeping Tanya? I’m never gonna get to sleep tonight. I hear the steady stream of water interrupted and I know she’s gotten in. My head is filled with thoughts and feelings of water trickling down her body. Down her chest, over what I can only assume are her firm yet supple young breasts. I think I can almost feel her washing herself with my soap. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes as I run my fingers through my hair.
I need to stop doing this. She’s not interested, and even if she was eventually she’ll get her memory back and the other Faith isn’t interested and probably never will be. Get some and get gone, that’s always been her motto. Even if she could be interested in me she’d only be interested in me long enough to get what she wants from me and I don’t think I could deal if that’s all she wanted from me. Whoa!
I sit up and open my eyes.
Maybe it’s the lack of blood in my brain, but did I just realize I want more than just sex out of her?
I pull my hair back out of my face.
Oh god, I just made this whole situation worse didn’t I? I should really figure out where I stand with Faith, before I do something that’ll make everything worse.
The shower water stops running but I don’t notice.
I can’t go back to Riley and find out; we’re on thin ice as it is. I should, I should find someone neutral, someone who I don’t care about so I can figure out how I really feel, whether this is about women in general or just about Faith.
The bathroom door opens, speak of the devil. I stand up and turn to face her. I suddenly regret giving her those clothes. The sweat pants hang off her showing nothing off, but the muscle shirt I gave her looks like it’s at least 2 sizes too small.
Then again she does have a better rack than me… a better rack than me? God I’m starting to sound like a guy. STOP LOOKING at her chest.
I look up at her face and I still see a look of uncomfortable silence on her face.
Something’s still wrong.
“Do you feel better?”
She takes a deep breath and for a second and I’m worried that she’s gonna burst out of her shirt.
“Yeah, I think so.”
The look on her face says different.
“Are you sure?”
She takes a second.
“Yeah… I’m fine.”
You know it’s late, I’m tired, I’m not gonna push her into a conversation that might get me killed.
“All right well we should probably get some sleep. We’ve got work to do tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I am kinda tired.”
I walk around to one side of my bed while Faith walks over to her bed on the floor, between the twin beds. She lies down as I climb into bed and pull the covers over me.
“Goodnight, Faith.”
“Um… Goodnight Buffy.”
I lie there wide awake.
There’s no way I’m gonna sleep tonight.