Forgotten Conscience
by Christopher Andrews
Slayer bonding rituals that actually involve bondage
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Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Is that it?”
It sounds like nothing much, but if it does what I think it does then I guess it can’t be nothing.
“Yeah pretty much a little rope, a little incantation and the spell should be broken.”
“And then you guys can stop worrying about Faith hurting people.”
God am I glad B and I worked things out. I was so sure that she was gonna hate me forever after what I did to her, but she doesn’t seem to. Maybe she meant what she said last night about what happened wasn’t about us. Maybe we really will have our night of beautiful passion the way we’re meant to. I hope we will once this whole spell thing is over and done with. We could use a little happiness after everything I’ve put her through.
“All right then all we have to do is to wait for Xander to get back and we can begin…”
Someone comes in through the door.
Thank god I didn’t have to wait too long.
I turn around to see Spike come through the door with a blanket over his head.
“You know most people need a good morning jog to get their juices going except of course us slayer types we can get our juices flowing any time eh B?”
I punch her playfully in the arm and she looks at me with reserved panic, looking around to see if anyone else got the inside joke.
That’s the great thing about inside jokes no one gets them except the people on the inside.
I sit back down as he loses the sheet and pats himself down to put out any possible fires, even though I doubt there are any fires on THAT body… eww.
“But seeing as how you don’t have any juices to get going you might wanna reconsider the whole morning jog thing.”
“Hey I just came to see how the end of the world was coming along.”
Buffy jumps in with her own insult.
“You couldn’t find a less flammable time of day to worry about the apocalypse?”
She’s so cute when she’s punning.
“Wow, feeling the love in this room.”
Buffy makes her punning known again.
“We don’t love you Spike, in fact we don’t even like you. Actually it’d be easier to say we hate you with a fiery passion.”
Spike pulls a stool over to join us.
“Right then, bugger that.”
He spots the headline from the paper on the table.
“Oh hey, I heard about that. So what big baddie are we gonna hunt now?”
I’m not sure how to answer that but lucky for me, in more ways than one, B steps in.
“Um first of all Spike, you should probably take the, we involving you and us from your vocabulary. And second of all there’s no big baddie to hunt, at least not that we know of.”
“Really…? Wow you Scoobies are really slipping. Usually by now you’d have the demons name, haunts and favourite TV shows figured out by now.”
“There’s no demon Spike.”
“Right um… didn’t the police say they were stabbed with a knife? Buffy didn’t you say Faith used to stab people with a knife?”
Buffy glares at him.
“Shut up Spike before I shut you up.”
I had the same thought.
Spike looks around the room before he sits back comfortably.
“Oh I see, we already think the little tart here is doing the deed.”
He smiles at me and I’m already sick of him. I jump out of my seat and grab him by the throat. I look down at him choking in his seat, which is weird since vampires don’t breath.
“You know Spike I’m starting to realize just why it is that everyone hates you.”
I pull my arm back in a staking position putting my hand out flat.
“Someone hand me a stake and I’ll put peroxide boy out of his misery.”
“Ooh, can I do it?”
I look up to the door and Xander is standing at the door with donuts in his hands.
“Have I missed all the fun?”
“No I was just about to stake myself a useless vamp.”
I feel someone take my staking hand in theirs and I don’t even have to turn around to know who it is.
It’s hers. I’d know those hands anywhere. Soft and gentle yet powerful and commanding, they’re unmistakable.
“Faith, don’t.”
What?
I finally decide to look back at her.
“Why? He’s just some pathetic vampire.”
“You’re right Faith. He’s a pathetic excuse for a vampire who couldn’t scare anyone if his life depended on it. He’s not worth the stake Faith.”
The muscles in the arm she’s touching starts to relax.
“Don’t… for me.”
I look over at Xander who had decided to get a closer look, and then down at Spike.
She asked me not to do it, so I won’t.
I let go of Spike’s neck and straighten up.
“Thanks.”
She lets go of my hand and goes to sit down. Spike straightens out his collar.
I should still give him a scare.
I grab him by the shirt collar and pull him up till his feet are a couple inches off the ground.
He’s got a scared look on his face, good.
“Buffy asked me not to kill you so I’m not gonna, lucky you.”
I shake him a bit to make sure he’s paying attention.
“But if I find out you’re responsible for those girls or you’re helping whoever did not even Buffy will stop me from hunting you down.”
I throw him down on the couch.
“Got it?”
He looks up at me with an angry look.
“All right I get it and by the way I ain’t working for anyone.”
“You better not be.”
I go back to my seat next to Buffy and sit down.
“So what’s the word? Are you gonna do this counter spell or not?”
“Yes Xander, I’m gonna go through with it. We’re gonna do the counter spell.”
“Good, did we start yet?”
“We were waiting for you.”
Xander puts the dozen donuts down on the coffee table in the middle of the room.
“Well I’m here now, let’s get to it.”
I don’t usually agree with Xander but that sounds like…
“Music to my ears, do we have everything we need, Will?”
My thoughts exactly B.
“Yeah we do, and Giles here has graciously offered his floor for the spell.”
Buffy and I get up and so does Willow.
“The floor?”
“Yeah we need to make a circle on the floor to keep the magic focused on you guys and not spread out and stuff.”
“Okay so where do you want us to stand?”
“Well here…”
Willow comes over and starts moving the table.
“Lets move the table and we’ll do it right here.”
“Good show, you’ll do it where I put my coffee table so you can cover it up later rather than buying a new rug.”
Willow rolls her eyes before turning to Giles.
“It’s just salt Giles, don’t freak out.”
“I shall remind you of that when we go buy a new carpet.”
The table is finally moved far enough away and Willow comes back over.
“Okay I need you guys to come over and stand facing each other.
B and I move away from the couch together and face each other.
“A little closer please…”
Willow moves to push us together but looks at me and decides not to touch me.
I have no problem with Red not touching me as long as B doesn’t stop touching me.
Willow shoves Buffy a little closer to me and I smile at her. She smiles at me as we get about a foot and a half from each other.
We’ve been closer, much closer, and if I have my way we’ll get closer when this is all done.
Willow starts pouring salt around us in a circle.
I’m glad we’re okay again, well as okay as B and I can be right now.
The circle is finished and Willow stand beside us.
“Okay now Faith, I need you to hold out your hands out face up like you’re accepting a gift.”
I put my hands out like Willow asks.
“Thank you.”
Wow, Willow’s being all courteous to me and stuff. It’s kinda weird.
“All right Buffy? I need you to hold out your hands too and I need you two to hold each other’s wrists while I tie them together.”
Buffy does as Willow asks and we grab each other’s wrists as Willow goes to get the pieces of rope to use in the spell. I run my fingers along the underside of her arms and I swear I almost hear her giggle as she smiles at me playfully. She runs her fingers against my wrists and it makes me twitch. We smile at each other as Willow comes back with a pair of silky ropes.
“Okay I’m gonna go ahead and tie you together. Are you sure you wanna do this?”
“Yeah we’re sure Will.”
“Yeah Red, go ahead and get your Wicca on girl.”
She looks at me for a second before starting to tie B and me together. She wraps the rope around my left wrist and B’s right several times before tying the loose ends together then does the same to my right and B’s left. I keep staring at Buffy and she keeps staring back with those incredible eyes of hers. I have to use all my strength not to just pull her to me and make out with her here now.
She wouldn’t be able to get away what with our spell time bondage.
“Okay so I think we’re ready to start. Where’d I put the book?”
She looks around for a second before Tara hands it to her.
“Oh, thanks Tara.”
She opens the book and finds the right page.
“All right, we’re ready.”
She stands to my left between us and starts to read from the book.
“Here my pleas Diana let this woman be unburdened of that which plagues her. Let her heart be uncaged, let her be bonded to her obsession and let her soul be cleansed and her thoughts be unfettered. Diana, hear me bond these two minds and let them be free.”
I lose my eyes, expecting something to happen, but nothing did. At least I don’t think anything happened.
I don’t feel any different.
“Is it over? Do you feel any different B?”
“Um, not really.”
I open my eyes and Buffy is looking at Willow.
“Did it work Will?”
Willow looks through the book for a second.
“I don’t think so.”
“What happened?”
“I dunno… there should’ve been a magical energy transfer of some kind.”
“Well I didn’t feel anything, did you B?”
“No, should we… should we try again?”
Willow starts scanning through the book.
“I don’t understand it should’ve worked. Why didn’t it work?”
“I dunno Red, did you screw something up?”
She flashes me an angry look before going back to the book.
“No I followed everything to the letter. It should’ve worked.”
Buffy starts to move her hands to loosen the rope so I help her.
“It’s okay Will, I’m sure you’ll figure out what went wrong.”
“But it shouldn’t have gone wrong that’s the thing.”
We get out of our little bondage situation and B moves to reassure her, stepping out of the circle.
“It’ll be okay Will, you’ll find out what went wrong and then we’ll try again.”
If the counter spell didn’t work… then I’m still a threat.
“What if I can’t find the answer?”
“You will find it. You’ve got Giles and the gang to help, and most of all you’ve got Tara. You’re both very powerful witches, if you can’t find a way in the research you’ll make one up, either way it’ll all work out.”
I’m still a threat to Buffy. I shouldn’t be around her while the spell still works, she could get hurt.
“Well while you guys go deal with that I’m gonna go deal with some demon types.”
I step out of the circle and head to the door.
“Faith, wait…”
I turn around and keep walking backwards. I point at B suggestively with a wink.
“Hey no worries, you guys are better at the whole research thing anyway. Give me a call when you figure it out.”
I turn around as I reach the door and leave.
We’re okay, that’s all that really matters.
The good within
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Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Faith, wait…”
We should talk alone.
She turns and gives me a buddy Christ look as she heads out the door.
“Hey no worries, you guys are better at the whole research thing anyway. Give me a call when you figure it out.”
She walks out the door.
I should go after her. I need an excuse though. I gotta think of an excuse.
I start to move slowly toward the door.
“I’m um… I’ll be right um, right back.”
Oh bravo.
I get up to the door and leave.
I should give myself an Emmy for such a great excuse.
I hit the top of Giles’ outside staircase and she’s standing a few feet from the bottom, looking out on the street.
“F…”
I stop myself from calling out to her.
The gang might hear me and I’m not sure I could explain it.
I start down the stairs and Faith doesn’t turn around.
Her slayer hearing should have heard me coming by now, unless she’s ignoring me on purpose.
I glide down the last few steps and the momentum makes it hard to stop. At the last second Faith turns and grabs me, using my momentum to dip me into a scorcher of a kiss. I reach up and wrap my arms around her neck to hold myself up. After a few incredible seconds we finally break our kiss but she doesn’t let me up. She just smiles down at me with that sexy smile of hers.
“Were you waiting for me?”
I caress her cheek and she finally lets me up.
“What gave you that idea?”
I chuckle at her.
“Yeah, as soon as I left I had this feeling you might follow me.”
“Well why did you leave in the first place? I was hoping we could talk after the meeting.”
“The meeting’s over for me B. I was only there to do the counter spell and it didn’t work. Besides, it’s better for everyone if I leave.”
Better for everyone?
“For everyone? It’s not better for me I want us to spend every waking moment together.”
I take a few steps back.
“I want that too Buffy but until the spell is broken I’m a threat to you.”
She closes the gap between us.
A threat?
“You don’t feel like a threat to me.”
“But I am.”
She wraps her arms around me, my head against her shoulder; I close my eyes and feel the warmth of her body against mine.
“I promise B, the second Red finds a way to break the spell we’ll have everything. We’ll have that first date you wanted. We’ll have everything we deserve just like you wanted.”
We stand there locked in each other’s warm embrace.
What about what she wants?
I pull back a bit to look her in the eyes. I brush the hair out of her face and kiss her lightly.
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Well I mean what about what you want? You deserve to be just as happy.”
“I am happy B. Making you happy IS what makes me happy.”
“But…”
She quiets me with a kiss.
“B, I’ve spent my whole life trying to make myself happy. I went from person to person to person trying to find someone who could make me happy.”
She runs her thumb along my cheekbone and it makes my whole face tingle.
“It wasn’t until last night that I realized I wasn’t looking for someone to make me happy, I was looking for someone who I can make happy. And that’s you B.”
God she can be so sweet when she wants to be.
I kiss her deeply, pushing my tongue between her lips as I do. I suck on her bottom lip gently as I break the kiss. She gasps audibly as she revels in the taste of our lips.
“And that’s why I have to stay away form you.”
What? Why?
“But what about…”
“At least until I can be sure you won’t get hurt.”
She runs her fingers through my hair.
“I would never forgive myself if I hurt you, or one of your friends.”
She’s trying to do what’s right for everyone I can’t hate her for that.
I run my hands over her back.
“You’re right Faith, we have to do the right thing to make sure we don’t end up hurting each other.”
She cradles my head in her hands.
“I promise, the second you guys find a way to break the spell I’ll come running straight to you B.”
“You promise?”
I look into her eyes and I could swear she’s staring into my soul.
“I promise.”
“Okay then, go… before I can’t stop myself.”
She shoots me a sexy smile and kisses me before breaking our embrace and heads away from Giles’ place. I watch her leave.
I knew there was a good person in there somewhere, a person who wants to do the right thing. She was just buried under years of pain and mistrust. I saw it in her when she had no memory and ever since then I’ve tried to reach that part of her and I think I finally did.
I start back up the stairs as I see her wave at me as she turns the corner.
We’re gonna be happy I just know it. As long as I can trust in her and what we have then we can be happy.
I reach the top of the stairs and stare at Giles’ open door.
We will be happy soon, but for now I have to concentrate. I have to concentrate on making sure we can be together without either of us being hurt.
I walk through the door and into Giles’ living room. Everyone’s already looking through books. I go over and pick up a book on the table. I sit down on the couch and join them.
It’s time to help do the right thing.
Changes you didn’t see coming
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Someone’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------He rushes over to us.
“It’s her.”
I knew it.
“Are you certain? I do not wish to go anywhere near that hell hole unless we know for sure that it’s her.”
“We are sir the M.O. is too similar to be coincidence. And we have confirmed that she was able to give our operatives at the hospital the slip, but we have confirmed she is in town.”
“Very well then, prepare the helicopter. We must go to Sunnydale California immediately.”
“Aye sir.”
He runs off toward the copter pad.
We have to stop the slayer before she does something WE’LL regret.
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John’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Adam, what is it?”
“He has returned.”
“Good.”
I move over to the monitor Adam’s watching. Riley’s back from his patrol with a few less soldiers.
He looks upset, good.
“Can we get audio? I wanna know what they’re saying.”
Adam presses a few buttons and fiddles with a knob and the audio springs to life.
“I don’t know Forrest I’m really worried about her.”
“Look Finn, she broke up with you. If I were you I would I would say good riddance to bad women. That girl is trouble.”
“You’re not me Forrest. She was so distraught and the next day she broke up with me…”
Buffy broke up with Captain Cardboard? Damn it.
“I gotta go talk to her. Maybe I can get her to give us another chance.”
“Riley, don’t.”
“I have to, I love her.”
He leaves.
He’s going to see Buffy, this is perfect. The best way to drive a wedge between the two of them is to kill someone close to them.
“Look um… Adam, I have to go report this to my master. I’ll be back in a while and we can finish plotting the end of the world.”
He ignores me as I start to leave.
Probably working on his master plan. It’s probably best he doesn’t know where I’m going. He’d probably tear my head off if he knew I’m about to screw up that little plan of his. That moron is all about his big plan he’d be lost without his big plan. Unlike me who can just go with the flow.
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Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I can’t believe I just did that.
I nearly take the vamp’s head off with a round house kick.
ME! Ms. Get some and get gone being all noble and doing the right thing and all that.
The vamp gets up and I come at him with a few lefts and rights, connecting happily with his face. I manage to block any he throws back.
I really must be in… I really must have fallen hard for B. I’m actually trying to be good.
I kick him in the stomach and he goes flying over two headstones and crashing into the third one, breaking it in half.
I passed up a chance to get into B’s pants in favour of doing the right thing.
I watch the vamp try to get up and I decide to let him come to me this time.
She probably would’ve given it up to me too if I’d have asked for it.
He crawls over to one of the gravestones and pulls himself up to his feet.
But I didn’t ask her. I didn’t take her home and screw her brains out till she can’t walk straight. That’s not what she wants, she wants to take things slow and when I think about it that’s what I want too. She was right. I want our first time… our real first time… to be different than any time I’ve had before, anything either of us has had before. Maybe I should buy some rose petals for the bed, and scented candles and stuff. It’s not really my thing but I know B would like it. Who knows it may grow on me.
I pull a stake out of my jacket pocket as he comes at me. I try and stake him but he dodges the stake and grabs my arm under his armpit.
Umm, eww undead B.O.
I try and punch him with my other arm but he grabs that one too.
God damn it.
I try and pull me hands out but he’s got me tight.
I knew this guy was gonna give me a headache.
I head butt him, he’s dazed but doesn’t let go. I hit him again with my head and again he doesn’t let go.
This guy is really getting on my nerves.
I use what little room I have to grab his shirt with my hands. Before he can react I use my slayer strength to do a belly to belly suplex, forcing him to let go as he goes flying over my head. The move lands me on my back staring up at the sky.
I knew my professional wrestling fetish would come in handy someday.
I flip myself up to my feet and turn to look for him.
Where is he? Damn, where is he? If he ran away like a coward I’m gonna…
I start to feel that fun down low tickle followed by a hunger in my stomach I get when a vamp gets away….
Have to find the nearest burger place. Or maybe I should go see B. We are on speaking terms after all. Maybe I could get in a little make out time before bed. Just because we ain’t sleeping together yet don’t mean we can’t have fun.
I catch a glimpse of something about 5 or 6 tombstones away.
Is that him?
I start moving toward him slowly to get a better look.
It is him. How the hell did he get over there? Did I really throw him that far? I’ve never been that strong before, I should report this to B. I probably don’t see it but there’s probably a bad side to this.
I’m so caught up in my own thoughts I don’t notice the vamp regain his balance and run away.
For crap’s sake.
I start to run after him but he’s got too much of a head start, even with my slayer speed I’d never catch up. I slow down to a halt. That tingly/hungry feeling I’m used to gets deeper.
Damn, now what am I gonna do? Hmm, I’m only a few blocks from campus.
I start toward it.
I hope she’s home.
Wheels in motion
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John’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Dave, get a few of the men together.”
“Why?”
“Damn it man, can’t you just follow my orders without you questioning me?”
“I’m sorry John, but the last time I followed your orders I ended up tied to a chair and nearly staked. I’m not following your orders unless you tell me what we’re doing.”
“We’re going to kill someone.”
“So? You don’t need our boys for that. You’ve killed hundreds if not thousands of people without help. What do you need us for?”
“This one is different. We’re going after Buffy’s ex.”
“Angel?”
“No you moron, Riley.”
“She broke up with him?”
“Yeah.”
“But that means…”
“Yes…. Yes I know. It means they’re getting closer, which means we’re one step closer to annihilation.”
He gets this look of fear on his face I’ve seen way too many times.
“So umm, what do we do?”
“Well this is where you getting together a couple of the boys comes in handy.”
“Right…”
He turns away to follow orders and then quickly turns back.
“But if she broke up with Riley then why does it matter if we kill him or not?”
“Because, by now Buffy and her band of mini-superheroes have heard of my handy work and are worried that Faith has returned to her old ways, whether she wants to or not. If someone close to them dies the slayerettes will be more convinced than ever that Faith is killing again.”
“Okay… but won’t Adam be pissed that we killed off one of his major players?”
“Yeah but you and I both knew this whole truce thing wasn’t a permanent thing. Besides with Riley dead Adam will be forced to step up his plans. Not to mention his plans involve a whole mess of dead bodies and with any luck two of those dead bodies will belong to the slayers.”
“Right…”
He starts to walk away but then turns back.
“But…”
“Jesus man, just do what I tell you, I know what the fuck I’m doing.”
“All right.”
He had off to round up the boys. I pull the knife out from my belt line and look at it glimmer against the overhead lights.
Buffy’s never gonna forgive her when she finds this.
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Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Damn it.”
I slam the book closed.
“This isn’t getting us anywhere.”
I can’t concentrate. I haven’t been able to concentrate since Faith left. I can’t stop thinking about her. That hungry and horny feeling I sometimes get has been creeping up on me ever since that last incredible kiss she gave me before she left. These donuts aren’t making any difference.
“What do you suggest we do Buffy?”
I look at Giles.
“I don’t know I just… I feel like I should do something other than sit here and read books. I need to do something to help Faith.”
“You are doing something Buff.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re staying away from Faith, that’s doing something to help.”
“Not to mention helping us by being here without her so she can’t murder us.”
“Anya.”
“Look guys I know you’re worried about me being around Faith too much and I love ya for it, especially since you’re worried that spending time with her is gonna get me hurt…”
“Or killed…”
I glare at Anya for a second.
“Or killed, but I’m telling you she wouldn’t hurt me, intentionally or otherwise.”
“How can you be sure?”
I take a deep breath.
Faith told me she would never hurt me and on my love for her I trust her.
“I just know okay? I know she wouldn’t hurt me. Now look, this research isn’t getting us anywhere. I think I’m gonna go home and change, maybe I’ll go beat up on Willy for some info on that vamp cult of ours.”
I get up to leave.
“We’ll keep working on a way to help Faith.”
I smile at Tara.
“Thanks Tara, I appreciate that. I’ll see you guys soon.”
I turn and leave.
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Watcher’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I step off the helicopter and move away crouched so as not to have the propeller take my head off. As I get far enough away I straighten up and stare out on the town.
So this is Sunnydale is it? A quaint little town. Who would’ve thought it would be home to such unspeakable evil?
I see my subordinates come up beside me. I yell orders at them over the engine.
“All right. We’ll go check out the bodies and then we shall go see an old friend.”
The three of us walk over to the rooftop stairwell.
The last stand of Captain Cardboard
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Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I hope she’s home, otherwise I’m gonna have to find SOMETHING to do till she gets here.
I start down the hall toward Buffy’s dorm room.
It’s oddly quiet for a college dorm at night. I guess all the wild parties must be some place else tonight.
I get a few doors down from her room.
It’s probably better that way, B and I can get in some quality make out time without all the rattling of party goers around the dorm.
I walk up to her door and try and turn the knob. It’s locked. I lean against the wall next to the door. I sigh.
I can’t have any fun out here. Well I could but I wouldn’t want a bunch of horny college boys gawking at me. Not that it wouldn’t be fun I’d just rather Buffy be the one gawking.
I hear something moving in Buffy’s dorm.
She must be home.
I move to knock but stop myself.
She’s probably doing something important like… taking a shower. The imagery makes me stop and think for a second. Maybe it would be more fun if I just walk in on her unannounced.
I reach down and pull out my trusty pocket knife. I drop to my knees as I use my favourite blade to jimmy open the lock. After a few minutes of jimmying the lock comes loose and the door clicks open. I walk into her dorm room and stop a few steps in as I see whose inside.
“Speaking of horny college guys…”
Riley looks up.
“Faith, what are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“I’m not the one breaking into Buffy’s room in the middle of the night, besides I asked you first.”
“Ah, the good old I asked you first rule, how very school boy of you.”
He glares at me with a not so convincing angry look.
I’ve seen angrier looks on dead bodies, actual dead bodies not undead ones.
“Fine, if you really wanna know I’m here to see Buffy. Now what are you doing here? I’m obviously not the only one breaking into Buffy’s room at night.”
“I have a key Buffy gave it to me when we got closer. I suppose I should give it back, all things considered.”
All things considered? There are things being considered?
“What do you mean all things considered?”
“Buffy broke up with me last night.”
She broke up with him? I almost don’t believe him.
“Really?”
She broke up with him.
“Yeah, she said she was going through stuff… and then she mentioned something about how she thought she was in love with someone.”
She admitted it to someone?
I hold back my need to jump up and down like a giggly little school girl.
I wasn’t sure she would ever admit it but she did.
“Faith, have you seen anyone?”
Seen anyone?
“What?”
“I mean you’ve been living with her, has she shown any interest in any other guy?”
Guy?
“Well actually I just recently moved out so we don’t really spend that much time together.”
Okay that sorta sounded like a lie. Not that I mind lying to soldier boy here. I’m still mad at him for the torturing me thing.
“Oh well, but you still go slaying with her right? Buffy talks a lot when she patrols. Has she mentioned any new guys in her life?”
“There’s no new guy.”
“But she said…”
“TRUST ME Riley, there is no guy.”
I hold back the urge to break out laughing.
“Well you know her really well I mean you’re both slayers right?’
“Uh yeah I guess.”
“She obviously cares a lot about you I mean she freaked out when she found out what I wanted to…”
He stops in mid sentence and I look at him. He’s looking at the floor and all of the sudden it’s like something dawns on him. He looks up at me slowly.
He knows.
“It’s you, isn’t it?”
He definitely knows. I’m not sure if I should admit it to him or not.
“It’s you she’s in love with isn’t it?”
He gets up close.
“Is she in love with you?”
He looks back at me with this look of painful desperation. He grabs me and shakes me a bit.
“Is she?”
Okay this is getting a little too violent for me not to fight back.
I push him away.
“So what if she is? What does it matter? It’s like you said she broke up with you.”
I shove him away again.
“What does it matter how she feels about anyone?”
“Are you… are you in love with her too?”
I step back a bit a little shocked at the question.
Am I in love with her? Am I in love with Buffy? I know I care about her. I know I care about her more than I’ve ever cared about anyone, but love? I don’t even know what the word means. I don’t even know how it’s supposed to feel. He’s looking at me, I don’t like it.
“Hey, my life is none of your god damn business. Why don’t you just butt out Captain Cardboard?”
“You are aren’t you?”
“Shut the hell up.”
“I should go, I-I-I have to go.”
“Yeah, I’m thinking that’s a good idea.”
He moves past me and out the door.
Good riddance you stupid moron. She could never love anyone like you.
I move over toward the bed.
Now all I gotta do is wait for her to come home and then the fun can begin.
After a second I hear something going on outside.
Probably just Riley hating himself.
“What the hell do you want?”
Course you usually don’t talk to people when you hate yourself.
“What are you doing?”
Maybe it’s Buffy, maybe I should get involved.
I turn and look at the door.
No, I’m not gonna get involved in all that. I’ll just wait for Buffy.
I hear a fight followed by a punch and Riley goes flying across the doorway down the hall. A couple of vamps run across the doorway toward Riley.
Maybe I should get involved, that’s definitely not Buffy.
I go toward the door but a vamp sees me and closes the door.
Damn it.
I get to the door and grab the doorknob, pulling on it to get it open but it doesn’t.
Where the hell is that weird extra strength I had earlier?
Riley yells out.
“STOP!”
What ever they’re doing I’ve got to stop it, for Buffy. She’d hate me if I didn’t do everything I could to save him.
I pull as hard as I can on the knob and it breaks off.
Oh good job. Gotta do this the hard way then.
I step back long enough to ram my shoulder into the door. After a few thrusts I finally break the door in. I rush through the door to see Riley, about 10 feet away, being held up to a couple other vamps by some flunky vamp. I run at them but I’m too late, they stab him. They stab him several times before I can stop them. I throw each of them off Riley, sending him crashing to the ground.
“What the… what the hell is wrong with you people?”
“We’re vampires.”
I look down at Riley’s convulsing body, the knife still in him.
That knife…
“Come on boys, we’re out of here.”
Out of here?
“You’re not going anywhere.”
“So you’re gonna kill us all and find time to save army man?”
I look down at Riley for a second and up at the little vamp gang I can only assume are part of the cult, and then back at Riley.
He’s right, I can’t do both… what do I do? Do I slay the bad guy or save the victim? Ah screw it.
I drop to my knees beside Riley as the bad guys get away.
What do I do? He’s bleeding all over the place.
I look up to see the cult vamps turning.
“I’m gonna hunt you down and kill you for this. Come on Riley you gotta stay with me.”
I frantically start check for a pulse.
It’s weak and getting weaker. He’s looking up at me, struggling to breathe.
“Come on Riley, I can’t have you dying on me. Buffy would never forgive me if I can’t save you.”
I’ve got to… I’ve got to stop the, the bleeding.
I grab the knife to pull it out.
Wait, if I remove the knife he’ll bleed to death quicker. Okay, gotta stop the bleeding.
I put my hands against his wounds to stop the bleeding as much as possible but it doesn’t help.
I have to do something to stop the bleeding or B’ll never forgive me.
I feel for his pulse again and it’s even weaker.
“Come on Riley don’t leave me, you have to pull through this.”
He stops gasping for air and I think he’s stopped breathing.
What do I do? C.P.R… it’s supposed to save lives. But I’ve never done it before, what do I do?
I put my palms on his chest between his ribcages.
This is how you do it right? I’ve never tried to save someone this far gone.
I thrust against his chest every few seconds to get him breathing again.
Come on Riley breathe, breathe Riley breathe.
I check for a pulse.
I think his heart stopped.
I start thrusting harder and harder against his chest but I don’t think its working.
“Sir, sir she’s coming.”
“But…”
I look up at a vamp standing over me.
I didn’t hear him coming.
“She’s coming sir, we have to go.”
They run off.
She? I don’t have time to worry about that.
I pound on Riley’s chest to get him going but it’s not working. I feel for a pulse and it’s not there.
Damn it, he’s gone.
I look down at my hands, covered in blood.
He’s dead, he’s dead cause I couldn’t save him. I should’ve saved him. If Buffy were here, she would’ve saved him. She could’ve saved him, but I couldn’t and now his blood is on my hands. Another life destroyed because of me.
I feel myself start to cry.
I wish Buffy was here.
“Faith.”
Oh god that voice.
I look up from Riley’s body, my hands covered in blood.
“Buffy?”
Shock
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“What did you do?”
She stands up and looks at me.
What… what has she done?
She looks down at Riley and then at the blood on her hands, she panics.
“B-Buffy this is… this isn’t…”
“What did you do to him?”
I rush to his side to help him and Faith backs off.
“Riley… Riley speak to me.”
He’s not breathing.
“Oh god Riley speak to me…”
“Buffy he’s…”
“SHUT UP!”
I can’t believe she did this.
I feel for a pulse.
I can’t feel it, there’s no pulse. He’s gone, he’s dead. Riley’s gone and I never got a chance to say goodbye. I shouldn’t have happened. He shouldn’t have died this way. He deserved better than this. But she didn’t think so. She killed him without a second thought.
I look down at the stab wounds on his chest and see the knife.
That knife… that, that’s her knife. How could she do this to him? How could she do this to me? After everything we’ve been through, everything we’ve shared, she still killed someone close to me. She MURDERED someone I CARE about. How could she?
I stand up, wiping the tears from my eyes.
“How? How could you?”
“Buffy I…”
“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?”
“I didn’t Buffy I swear.”
Yeah right.
I bend down and pull the knife out of Riley.
“Then how do you explain this?”
I start towards her and every step I take makes her back up.
“I-I… I don’t know I… I don’t know.”
“Is that the best you could do? What happened to all your witty come backs Faith? How about ‘he got what he deserved’ eh? How’s that?”
“Buffy please you gotta believe me. I didn’t kill him.”
Believe her?
“BELIEVE YOU? Like I believed you when you said you didn’t kill those girls? Like I believed you when you told me you had feelings for me? FUCK YOU FAITH!”
She starts to cry.
“Please Buffy don’t… don’t say these… don’t do this.”
No… no, I’m not going to get taken in because of my feelings.
“Do what? Tell the truth? You’re not the kind of person who falls in love, you told me this yourself. How I ever thought you could ever have feelings for me is beyond me.”
“Buffy I-I-I know I s-said that but I… I do care about…”
“Don’t Faith… don’t lie to me anymore. Just don’t Faith. I’ll make sure you go down for this, even if I have to do it myself.”
I take a swing at her and she doesn’t even block it as it connects with her face.
Why isn’t she fighting back?
“Come on Faith, fight back. It’s not any fun unless you fight back.”
“I’m not gonna fight you Buffy.”
She’s finally backed up against a wall and I pin her against the wall with my forearm across her shoulders.
“That’s too bad cause I’m itching for some good old fashion violence.”
I feel her knife in my hand. I put the bloodied knife to her throat.
“Or maybe I should just put you out of your misery. The way you put Riley out of his.”
Her expression hardens but the tears keep streaming down her face.
“If that’s what you gotta do to convince yourself you’re right…”
She straightens up against the wall despite the knife on her neck.
“Then do it.”
I press the knife harder to her neck and stare into her eyes. I can see the pain in her eyes. I can hear it in her voice.
“DO IT! If you can’t trust me then I don’t wanna live. JUST DO IT! Kill me and become like me. But when you find out that I didn’t do this, I won’t be around to apologize to. I’ll be dead cause you slit my throat and you’ll have to live with that.”
I stare into her eyes in silence.
I… I… I can’t do it.
I release some of the pressure against her neck.
Even with what she’s done I can’t kill her, I still love her. But she has to pay. She has to pay for killing Riley.
I turn her around and shove her face first against the wall. She looks back at me.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re coming with me.”
I pull her arms behind her into a double chicken wing pulling it with all my strength. I put the knife in my beltline.
“Buffy…”
“Shut up! I may not be able to bring myself to kill you… but that doesn’t get you off the hook…”
I pull her off the wall and lead her to my dorm room.
“You’re going to pay for what you did to…”
I look down at Riley’s body lying on the floor a few feet away. I loosen my grip a bit as I feel myself start to cry.
“I’m sorry B, I know…”
“I told you to shut up.”
I push her into my dorm room.
“You don’t get to be sorry.”
I throw her face down leaning against the bed and my heart breaks for her.
No… don’t let how you feel get in your way.
“Murderers don’t get to feel sorry.”
I force myself to look away form her as I go over to my closet and take some rope out of my weapons’ chest.
She has to pay.
I walk back over to her and she hasn’t moved, her arms are still behind her back. I stand behind her and put her wrists together. I use the rope to tie her wrists together tightly.
“Ow!”
“Oh don’t cry. I bet you’ve felt a lot worse. I bet you’ve caused a lot worse. I know Riley did, you made sure of that didn’t you?”
When I’m sure the rope is tight enough I pull her up off the bed to a standing position. Her head flies back against my shoulder. I feel her hair drape itself over my back and the softness of her neck against my shoulder and for a second I forget, I forget about what she did… about everything and I just wanna be with her. And then I see it. Riley’s feet lying there on the floor outside my door. I move away from the bed and push her toward the door.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m taking you to see Giles, so we can figure out what the fuck to do with you.”
We leave my dorm room and head down the hall. I look down at Riley’s body as we pass it. She stops for a second and I push her on and we head to Giles’.
I’ll make things right Riley I promise.
Going Under
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ow!
She throws me down on one of Giles’ chairs.
That hurts.
I look up at her.
Not that she gives a damn anymore.
She looks down at me with a steely glare.
She definitely doesn’t care. I’m sorry B, not that you would listen if I said it but I am sorry B. I’m sorry I couldn’t save Riley for you. I’m sorry you walked in on that at exactly the wrong moment and jumped to exactly the wrong conclusions at exactly the wrong time. Most of all I’m sorry you couldn’t trust me when I said I didn’t kill him. I guess we weren’t meant to be like we once both thought.
“Giles!”
No one else is here they must’ve all gone home.
“GILES ARE YOU HERE?”
Giles comes out from the other room with a rope on, putting on his glasses.
“Buffy? Buffy what is it?”
He rubs his eyes and then catches a glimpse of me in the chair, hands tied behind my back.
“Dear lord what’s going on?”
“I…”
“SHUT UP! I told you to SHUT UP!”
All right fine, I’ll shut up.
Giles seems put off by B’s anger toward me.
“Buffy has something happened?”
There are tears in B’s eyes.
“It’s, it’s Riley… he, he’s been stabbed.”
“Stabbed? Oh god Buffy, is he all right? Did, did you get him to a hospital?”
“He, he’s dead.”
Giles looks at Buffy for a few seconds with a look of reserved grief.
“I’m so sorry Buffy.”
Giles would never look at me like that, especially not now.
She runs into his arms. He holds her tightly and I look away.
I don’t wanna see what I’ll never experience again. The warmth of her body against mine, the feel of those incredible arms holding me like only she can. I don’t wanna se what I’ll never feel.
Giles starts speaking again and I go back to watching them plan my doom.
“Do we know what killed him?”
B looks at me with that horrible glare.
“She did.”
This is normally where I’d interject and talk about how I didn’t kill Riley, but she told me to shut up and that’s what I’m gonna do. I don’t have to say a thing the evidence will speak for itself.
“What? Faith?”
“I found her over the body with his blood on her hand.”
“That doesn’t necessarily… are you certain?”
She pulls the knife out of her belt and shows it to Giles, handle first. Giles takes it from Buffy and examines it, the blood still on it.
“This is… Buffy where did you get this?”
It was deeply imbedded in Riley’s heart.”
There’s a moment of silence as Buffy and Giles look at each other.
“What do you want to do?”
She looks at me and that angry look turns to painful.
“I don’t know. We can’t turn her in to the police they’d never be able to hold her.”
Oh that’d be fun, a punch of police men and convicted felons grabbing at me.
“Not unless she went willingly.”
At this point I’d be willing to do just about anything.
My heart breaks as her look turns back from painful to angry.
“And we can’t kill her.”
I look down at my knees at the end of the chair.
I can’t look her in the eyes right now. That look hurts me more than any knife in the gut or punch in the face.
“So what are we gonna do with her?”
“Well, I hesitate to bring this up but I may have an option we should consider.”
I look up at Giles.
I don’t like the way he said that.
“What is it?”
“A short time ago I was visited by some old friends.”
“Old friends?”
“Watchers…”
Oh good, cause I’ve got such a good history with THEM. My first was slaughtered by a huge vampire, the second was evil and the last one got fired from the council cause he couldn’t control me. This could only end well.
“They heard of the murders and of Faith’s escape from the hospital and they came to investigate.”
They’re investigating? They didn’t just jump to wrong conclusion like B did? I’m almost shocked.
“What did they find out?”
B’s gonna be kicking herself when the truth comes out, then again I’ll probably be the one doing the kicking if I have my way.
“Nothing yet, they came to me to inform me of their plans before they proceeded. They didn’t want you getting in the way.”
“Good call.”
“They promised to contact you as soon as they have some conclusive evidence.”
“That could take days.”
Days, weeks, it won’t matter all I care about is them telling B how wrong she was about me.
“Not necessarily.”
“What’s up?”
“According to them they are using a new technique which should allow them to determine what occurred in a matter of minutes.”
“How?”
This could be good.
“Wesley once told me about a new concept being pursued by the Watchers when he first came to Sunnydale. Apparently it was discovered that any demonic presence leaves ‘trace elements’ when coming into contact with things for a brief time. The council has apparently developed a reliable way to detect these ‘trace elements’.”
“So if they have these ‘trace elements’ then Faith did it?”
“No there wouldn’t be.”
“But…”
“Buffy slayers are more human than demonic she wouldn’t leave ‘traces’.”
“So then if there are ‘traces’ then she didn’t do it?’
“Yes.”
We should… we should… g-get them to t-test the knife. They should, should test the knife.”
She isn’t so sure anymore, I can see it in her eyes.
“We shall Buffy, we shall. They promised to call as soon as…”
The phone rings. They look at the phone and I look at Buffy.
She’s worried, she’s worried about what they’re gonna say.
Giles walks over to the phone and picks it up.
“Hello?”
I tune out Giles as Buffy looks me in the eyes for a second I forget.
I forget that it never occurred to her that I was trying to save Riley’s life. I forget everything and I just wanna kiss her. But then the world comes back around and all I can feel is anger toward her.
I look away from her and catch a glimpse of pain in her eyes as I do.
“Yes… okay then, we shall see you here soon.”
Giles hangs up the phone and turns to Buffy.
“Was that them?’
“Yes…”
“So? What did they say?”
“They said they found evidence of demonic influence in the deaths of those two girls we read about in the paper.”
“What… what does that mean?”
What the fuck do you think it means? It means I DIDN’T DO IT.
“It means that Faith was clearly not involved in the deaths of those girls.”
She starts panicking.
That’s right B, you jumped to the wrong conclusions and now you have to live with them.
“Are you, I mean are they sure?”
“Yes, they were quite clear that the killer was of the demon variety.”
She looks at me and I give her a cold stare before I look away.
“C-Call the guys I… I want them here for this.”
Yeah I bet you do.
“I… I need to t-think.”
Giles goes off into the other room to call the gang. She sits down on the couch in front of me so we’re facing each other, not that she looks at me. She sits with her head in her hands looking at the floor, hair draped over her face.
So… Miss Know-It-All doesn’t really know it all does she?
Miss Know-It-All
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------What have I done? She didn’t kill those girls.
I run my fingers through my hair, still not looking up at Faith for fear of the cold look she gave me earlier staring back at me.
If she didn’t kill those girls then she probably didn’t kill Riley either. Oh god, she must’ve been trying save him. But I saw him lying there, dead and bleeding with the knife in his chest, her kneeling over him and I just DECIDED that she killed him. It stopped mattering that she said she didn’t do it. I didn’t bother asking her what really happened. All I knew was that Riley was dead and someone had to pay.
“What have I done? How could I answer first?”
Oh god, she hates me.
I look up at her, brushing the hair out of my face as I get that sinking feeling right before I cry, a cold stare looking back at me.
“Faith I, I’m…”
“What? You’re sorry? You think that makes it okay?”
“No I…”
“Do you think that’s gonna make what you said back in the hallway okay? You think I’m just gonna forget how you treated me?”
“No I don’t, I just…”
“What, you just what?”
“I…”
I don’t know what to say.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? Wow, you don’t know. What a great comeback B. Right up there with shut the hell up isn’t it? Let me ask you something B. Did it ever even cross your mind to ask me what the hell happened to Riley?”
“N-No.”
Be honest, you’ll only make things worse by lying to her. Not that I could see things getting any worse.
“Did you ever stop and think that maybe, just maybe I was trying to save his life just before you walked up?”
“Faith I’m so sorry I should’ve…”
“Answer the question B.”
I was wrong, things are worse.
“No, no I didn’t.”
The tears in my eyes make it hard to look at her.
“So you saw Riley’s body, you saw his blood on my hands and you just… what? You just DECIDED that I had to be the one who did it?”
“Yes Faith I’m so sorry I was, I was in shock and I couldn’t think properly. I came to the wrong conclusions I’m sorry.”
“The wrong conclusion eh, you really think you came to the wrong conclusion? Whatever gave you that idea? You think that makes it okay?”
“No it doesn’t and all I can say is I’m sorry and hope you might be able to forgive me one day.”
I wipe the tears from my eyes and she looks away from me.
“Don’t count on it.”
You should’ve expected this. Faith doesn’t trust people easily and when you finally got her to trust you, you betrayed that trust. You can’t expect her to just forgive and forget. She may never forgive you.
“So… what are you gonna do when those Watchers get here?”
God, what am I gonna do?
“I-I don’t know I… if they come and tell us that you didn’t kill Riley then I’ll, I’ll untie you.”
“IF!? IF they tell you I didn’t kill Riley? Even after everything you’ve found out you’re still not convinced I didn’t do it?”
Why am I making things even worse?
“I didn’t mean… if was wrong, I didn’t mean if I meant to say when… WHEN we find out you didn’t kill Riley.”
“But you said IF. You’re not really sure I didn’t do it are you?”
“No I am Faith you gotta believe me.”
“BELIEVE YOU? Like I believed you when you said you trusted me? Like I believed you when you said I deserved to be happy? Like I believed you when you said you loved me? FUCK YOU BUFFY!”
I deserved that.
“I deserved that Faith I know that but I’m not gonna give up on us. I’ll do whatever it takes to win you back.”
She looks away again.
“Whatever.”
I look down at the floor, hands in my hair.
She has every right to hate me after what I’ve done. But I won’t give up, no matter what I have to do, no matter how long I have to wait I’ll get her to trust me again.
There’s a knock at the door. I look at the door and wipe the tears from my eyes.
“That… that must be them the, the Watchers.”
“That’d be my guess.”
I get up and turn to Faith.
“This’ll make things better, I’ll show you Faith. Things will be better.”
“Whatever.”
Giles comes in from the other room.
“Did you, did you get in touch with the guys? Are they coming?”
“Yes Buffy, I explained the situation and they should be here soon.”
“Good, good they… they should be here for this.”
“Buffy are you okay?”
I look Faith in the eyes and after a moment her eyes leave mine.
Not yet.
“Yeah I’m okay.”
Someone knocks on the door again.
“You should get the door.”
“I suppose I should.”
But I will be.
Giles goes over to the door and lets The Watchers in.
Whatever it takes
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------What the heck am I doing? Why the hell am I still here?
I’m still sitting here in this chair, hands tied behind my back, waiting for B’s friends to get here so she can find out how wrong she was.
But that’s not why I’m here, not really. She already knows she screwed up, that’s not why I’m still here. I could get out of these ropes any time I want but I’m not. I want her to do it.
I look around the room. Xander and Giles are sitting in the living room with the furniture all around me. I’m facing toward the kitchen, Giles sitting in a chair to my left, Xander sitting on the couch to my right.
I want her to do it in front of her friends and those Watcher boys. I want everyone she cares about to see what a colossal mistake she made just so she knows that all her friends know.
I watch Buffy standing in the other room talking to the Watchers. She looks upset, good.
She is gonna be even more upset cause the second she unties me I’m out of here.
Willow comes in without Tara, interesting. Buffy comes in to see Willow.
“Where’s Tara?”
“She said she was tired but she would do a little more research before she went to bed.”
“Oh, okay.”
Buffy seems disappointed, she was probably hoping Tara could help her win me back and all that crap. Good luck bitch.
“Well um we should… we should start the meeting.”
She watches as the two Watchers come into the room.
“Okay Will, if you sit down we’ll go ahead.”
Willow moves to sit down next to Xander. Xander speaks up.
“Go ahead with what exactly?”
“These two Giles wanna bees here are Watchers, in case you didn’t already figure that out. They came because they heard about the murders and the council asked them to investigate.”
Oh good, more people who just naturally assumed I was guilty without proof. Worst of all they’re British people.
“And they found something?”
“Yeah they did.”
“We were able to determine with a negligible margin for error that a demon was directly responsible for the young girls’ deaths.”
“A demon? Meaning it wasn’t Faith.”
“Yes Willow contrary to popular belief I’m not actually a demon.”
She looks at the floor, conceding. Xander on the other hand doesn’t.
”But what about Riley? I mean, Giles said you found him lying dead on the floor with Faith’s knife in his chest.”
“We have made a thorough examination of the knife and we were able to get to the body before the police arrived. She was not involved in the murder.”
“In point of fact we believe Faith may have been attempting to save Mr. Finn’s life.”
“Thank god someone finally said it, people tend not to believe me when I say things like that.”
I stare at Buffy coldly with those last few words.
“See I told you she didn’t do anything.”
Yeah you can be all high and mighty with your friends if you want to, but you and me? That’s a whole other story.
The gang looks all apologetic and stuff, which usually comes right before the apology.
“We’re sorry Faith.”
And here we go with an apology from Willow.
“Yeah we’re really sorry.”
Now Xander throws his hat in the ring.
“We were wrong to…”
“Hey we’re five by five guys. I guess I didn’t really give you a reason to trust me. Come to think of it if I were in your shoes I probably wouldn’t trust me either. We’re cool, but B and I… that’s a whole story.”
“What do you mean? Why would you guys be different?”
Buffy interrupts in a panic.
“Look that’s not important, what’s important is that Faith didn’t kill anyone so we can untie her.”
I move my hands against the ropes and they chafe.
“Good idea, these ropes are starting to bug the hell out of me.”
Buffy moves to untie me.
“Perhaps we shouldn’t.”
What?
“What?”
I had the same thought B.
“Perhaps we shouldn’t let her go.”
Uh okay.
“Why the hell not? I want out.”
I pull on the ropes a bit, trying to break them. Buffy confronts them.
“Why, why not? You said yourself that Faith didn’t kill anyone. What’s the problem?”
“While it is true that Faith was not responsible for the deaths of the two girls she is clearly not entirely stable. She also has a lot to answer for. The Council has authorized us to remove her to England to face their judgement.”
Remove me to England? Dark, rainy, dank and… away from Buffy. Could have potential, maybe I should let them do it.
“Remove her? No you can’t remove her. Okay yes she’s some bad stuff but she, she’s sorry. She’s really sorry and she’s willing to do what it takes to change.”
Giles makes his ever enjoyable contribution.
“If that’s true Buffy then perhaps it is best that she face the council so they can help her deal.”
She nearly goes insane.
“DEAL? The Council has no intention of helping her deal. They’re just gonna lock her up and throw away the key. That’s not dealing that’s punishing.”
“Buffy this should not be your decision. If Faith truly feels remorse this should be her decision to make.”
Buffy moves between me and the Watchers and faces me in a panic.
“Okay fine, let’s do that then. Faith?”
I look up at her in the eyes and I know what I have to do.
I know I only have one choice.
“Go ahead, take me away… it’s not like I have any reason to hang around here.”
I can almost see her heart breaking.
“No…”
She turns to face the watchers.
“You can’t do this, I won’t let you.”
“It appears as though the decision has been made Ms. Summers.”
“No it hasn’t, I won’t let it.”
One of the Watchers moves toward me, trying to move past her and she freaks. She grabs his left arm and pulls it into a chicken wing, using her free arm to wrap it around his forehead.
Okay this is bad.
“I’ll kill him if I have to.”
This is really bad, I have to stop her.
I pull against my ropes hard and they get a little loose but they don’t break. The gang gets up to try and calm her down but it doesn’t help.
“Buffy what are you doing?”
“I’ll do it, I’ll kill him.”
Buffy tightens her grip and everyone twitches except me.
I’ve got to get out of these ropes.
I pull even tighter.
“Buff you don’t wanna do this.”
“No I don’t want to, but I can and I will if it means Faith stays here.”
“Buffy why are you doing this?”
“BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”
The room falls silent and the shock sets in.
She did it, she admitted it. Okay, come back to reality with the life and death situation.
I pull against the ropes and they break. I leap out of my chair.
“I love her and… and if they take her away I may never see her again.”
I gotta stop her from doing something she’ll regret, or I’ll regret.
“Buffy, listen to me.”
“I can’t let them take you Faith. I love you too much to let them take you.”
I have to talk her down.
“I get that B, but this isn’t the way. This isn’t the way to make me stay. In fact if you do this, if you kill him it’ll give me every reason you can think of to leave.”
“But…”
I take a step toward her and she twitches.
“Let him go Buffy and we can talk about this.”
We may not talk about this but I need her to believe it.
She starts to cry.
“Faith… I love you.”
“If you mean that then you’ll let go of him.”
She loosens her grip on him in a moment of indecision. I take another step to her and she lets go, throwing him into my arms and I catch him. He regains his balance and we all look at Buffy, distraught.
“I’m sorry I… I shouldn’t have… I just, Faith I told you I’d do whatever it takes and I meant it.”
I don’t have a response for that. Okay this is too tense, I’m out of here.
I start toward the door.
“Okay this is kinda tense, obviously me going away isn’t the best idea, especially with the whole apocalypse nowish vibe we’re getting around this town. You guys know I didn’t kill anyone so we can work on the whole trust thing but for now, I’m out of here.”
I take one last look at Buffy before leaving.
Bitch!
Dealing
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Everyone’s been looking at me since Faith ducked out. They haven’t said anything, probably in shock. Who wouldn’t be after what I’ve done, what I’ve said. I told them I was in love with Faith, and I am. That’s not the way I wanted them to find out but they did and now they have to deal. I love Faith and that’s not gonna change. We’ll talk and then we’ll deal. But not right now, right now I have to go after Faith before she gets too far away.
“Look you guys h-heard what Faith said, she isn’t going anywhere. So, so just go back to your Council and tell them we’re handling it.”
They move past me and go to gather their things.
Wow, I expected them to put up more of a fight.
“What no arguing?”
“The Council has ordered us not to interfere should you wish to come to blows over this issue.”
“Well then that makes things easier.”
Okay the guys.
I turn to them.
“Okay so… I know this is gonna come as quite a shock to you guys, me being in love with Faith and all. Especially with the whole trust issue thing we’ve had going and I’d really like to stay and talk about this but right now I have to go after Faith before she does something we’ll both regret.”
I head for the door.
“Buffy…”
“We’ll talk about it later.”
I’m out the door faster then I’ve ever been. I almost fly down the stairs and I look up and down the street to see if I can see her. I notice her rounding the corner.
“Faith, stop…”
She looks at me with a cold stare and I almost can’t take it.
“What the hell do you want now?”
“Faith we can talk about this. We can get through this.”
“You think so do you? I had the same thought that we might be able to work through anything…”
I take a step forward and she takes one back.
“Right up until you tied me up and put a knife to my throat.”
“Faith please what we have is too important to give up.”
“Why? Because you say so? You’ll forgive me if I don’t see things your way.”
“I know I messed up but I can’t change what I did all I can do is hope I can make up for it.”
“And how are you gonna do that? By snapping people’s necks?”
“I said I’d do anything for you…”
“Oh don’t even TRY and pretend that you did that for me. You did that for you.”
“Faith I was ready to kill for you, doesn’t that mean something?”
“Yeah it means you’re a horrible selfish bitch whose only goal is to satisfy your own selfish needs.”
“Look whose talking.”
“Yeah well we weren’t in love then.”
She thinks we’re in love?
“And we’re in love now?”
“Don’t change the subject.”
“You brought up the subject.”
“The point is when it came right down to it, you couldn’t trust me. For all your fancy talk about love and trusting me with your heart and soul you couldn’t do it. You would rather believe I killed someone then trust that I might actually try and save army boy’s life.”
“But I still love you. Even when I thought you killed Riley I still loved you.”
“Well it’s too bad I couldn’t feel it because I sure as hell didn’t see it in your eyes”
“I know and I’m sorry. God, how many times do I have to apologize?”
“How about none, cause you don’t really mean it? I saw the hatred in your eyes. Things would’ve been so much easier for you if I had done it wouldn’t it? Then you could’ve made me the villain like you always do.”
She starts to walk away but I stop her.
“What the hell was I supposed to think? I found you over the body, hands covered in blood. What am I supposed to think?”
She looks at me and after a second it’s like something dawns on her.
“I get it… I see what this is. NOW we’re getting to the truth.”
What?
“No Faith I…”
“Hell you’re expecting it. Why else would the thought of me saving someone never enter your twisted little head?”
“I trust you Faith, I really do.”
Why is she saying these things?
“No, you don’t… How could you? Everyone you’ve ever been with has betrayed you. You gave it up to Angel and he went psycho, Scott Hope dumped you, Riley betrayed you when he wanted to lock me up and throw away the key which now I’m thinking wasn’t the worst idea in the world.”
“So?”
“So maybe I’m not the only one who has trouble trusting people.”
“Maybe I do. Maybe we both have things we have to work on but we can work on it together that’s what people in relationships do. They work together through their problems…”
“Yeah, right before the yelling and the fighting and the name calling and oh yeah the breaking up. Course now that I think about it we’ve already done the whole yelling and fighting thing, why don’t we just skip step 3 and go straight to breaking up?”
I can’t let her do this.
“No, I won’t let you break up with me.”
She backs off a bit and my feet feel like they have lead in them.
“Who said you had a choice?”
“Faith I get why you’re angry I really do, if I were in your place I’d probably feel the same way. But breaking up with me isn’t gonna make our feelings go away, and it’s certainly not gonna change the fact that we’re going to have to deal with these issues sooner or later.”
“Maybe not but it might make me feel better.”
She starts to walk away and I start to cry.
“Go ahead then, break up with me.”
“Okay then we’re broken up.”
“Just don’t expect me to stop loving you, because that will never happen.”
My vision gets blurry as I start to cry but I manage to make out her stopping a few seconds to look back at me before leaving.
What do I do? How do I make this right? Tara… she helped me before, maybe she can help me get Faith back. I’ll, I’ll go see her. Willow said she stayed home, I’ll go see her and she’ll make everything better.