Forgotten Conscience
by Christopher Andrews
A little less hypocritical
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Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I reach the top of Giles’ stairs and I knock at his door.
“GILES!”
I manage to cradle Buffy in one arm and start to pound on the door.
“Giles! Giles open up!”
I try and open the door, it’s locked. I feel for B’s pulse.
Oh god, I think she’s getting worse.
“GILES!”
I bang on the door again and he finally answers the door.
“Giles thank god, you have to help her.”
I take her in both my arms and push my way past him into his place.
“Faith what happened?”
“It was Adam he beat her up pretty bad.”
I run into the living room and carefully put her down on the couch, trying to make her comfortable. He comes over to the couch.
“Is he?”
“He’s dead, effectively neutralized even.”
“Then why didn’t you take her to the hospital?”
“I did they… it turns out they’re evil.”
“Evil? But…”
“Giles she’s hurt just… MAKE HER BETTER!”
He looks at me and it’s as if he understands.
“I shall do what I can.”
He kneels down and starts to check her over.
“As far as I could tell she has two broken ribs, a cracked leg bone and internal bleeding.”
“And you didn’t wait until they repaired more of the damage?”
“Giles… evil doctors.”
“How do you know?”
“They wanted to hurt her. They were talking about making sure she had… complications. We can’t take her back there. They’d kill her.”
“All right, I will do my best.”
His best?
“Do better than your best Giles. You have to make her okay so I can tell her…”
He looks up at me and I freeze.
“Do something Giles.”
He looks down at Buffy and then gets up.
“Giles what are you doing? You have to help her.”
“There isn’t anything left to do.”
“W-What are you saying? You don’t mean… oh god B.”
I kneel beside her.
“She can’t be…”
I take her hand in mine and hold it tight.
“No Faith, you misunderstand me. Buffy isn’t going to die.”
I look up at him.
“No?”
Oh god she’s not dying.
“No, she’ll be okay. The damage wasn’t as severe as you thought and her accelerated healing is doing the rest. It’s true she may have suffered internal bleeding but it appears as though the doctors took care of that, though I can’t imagine why if they were evil as you say. The ribs are only cracked, like the leg. She should be fine.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
I look at Buffy, still unconscious.
“Then what’s wrong with her?”
“I’m not sure. It’s possible they gave her a number of sedatives to keep her under until they decided what to do with her.”
“So… she’ll be okay?”
I put her hand against my chest.
“She should be fine.”
“Oh thank god.”
I kiss her knuckles. There’s a moment of silence as I watch her sleeping.
“You really do love her, don’t you?”
I don’t say anything for a second before looking at him.
“T-That’s not the point.”
He takes off his glasses and cleans them before smiling at me.
“Not to worry. She will get better, and then you can tell her.”
I just sit there looking at her.
“I… I…”
“Everything shall be fine. I promise.”
“Thank you Giles.”
I leave Buffy’s side momentarily to wrap my arms around Giles.
“Thank you.”
After hesitating slightly he puts his arms tentatively around me.
“It’s okay Faith.”
He made her safe, he made her okay.
“Thank you.”
“It’s okay. She will wake up.”
I let go of Giles and drop back to Buffy’s side, taking her hand in mine.
Thank god she’s gonna be okay. Thank god I didn’t kill her.
“I was so afraid that I killed her by bringing her to that… place.”
“It’s not your fault. There was no way of knowing…”
“She came to me for help. She came to me for help and I nearly got her killed.”
“Buffy knew the risks.”
He kneels down beside me next to Buffy.
“Faith I’ve known Buffy a long time, possibly even longer than she’s known herself. And I know that she would have gone into that fight knowing that she might not come back. She knew the risk.”
“But…”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is. I should’ve helped her.”
“She’ll be fine. And you did help her, you got her here and you kept her safe.”
“She needed me and I was there for her. Just like she was when I…”
He looks at me with concern.
“It’s not important.”
I go back to watching B, waiting for her to wake up.
“What’s important is she’ll be okay.”
I see him get up and walk way out of the corner of my eye.
“Yes she will.”
I hold her hand to my chest.
She’s safe now, and she’ll be okay. As soon as she wakes up I can go and not have to worry. I’m gonna be here till she wakes up.
She stirs, slowly waking up.
“Faith?”
She’s awake.
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Tara’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“A hypocrite? I’m not a hypocrite… am I Tara?”
I don’t know I mean, the way things sound I’m just not sure.
“Well m… maybe you should, should t-talk to h-her a-again.”
“What?”
“W-When you’re n-not so anger, angry.”
She’s pacing around my room furiously.
“I tried to talk to her baby, but she wouldn’t listen.”
“W-well y-you t-told me she was, was worried about A-Adam. T-that he might b-be up to something.”
“Yeah but she spent like the whole time talking about how much she loves Faith.”
“So a-are you m-mad at her for n-not concentrating on, on Adam or f-for being in, in l-love with Faith?”
She stops in her tracks.
“What? No I… no that’s not what… if Buffy thinks she can be happy with Faith then, then I’m not gonna you know, stand in their way…”
“So you’re not mad at h-her for being in l-love with F-Faith.”
“No of course not I… Buffy’s my friend and I just want her to be happy it’s just… this all happened right around the time we find out about the new big scary in town and for some reason they seem to be one step ahead of us. They seem to know exactly what to do to screw with us and exactly how we’ll react. I’m just saying, maybe them falling in love was part of the plan.”
“So, you want Buffy t-to be h-happy but you think the person s-she wants to b-be happy with is part of an, an evil plan?”
She looks at me with a questioning look.
“What’s? Are you defending her? Why are you defending her?”
“I’m n-not d… I’m j-just trying to help.”
“Well you’re not.”
I lower my eyes.
“I’m s-sorry.”
“Oh… oh baby I’m sorry.”
She comes over to me on the bed, kneeling in front of me.
“I didn’t mean to… I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just, just angry and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
I look up at her.
“It’s okay, I understand.”
I take her hands in mine.
“I’m just trying to understand what happened.”
“Well what do you think?”
What do I think?
“I… I think we, we should try and give the t-two of them the… the b-benefit of the d-doubt.”
“Did you know?”
Know?
“Know w-what?”
“Did you know about the two of them, about Buffy and Faith?”
Should I tell her? I don’t want to lie to her.
“I-I knew there w-was something between t-them but I… I didn’t know how far it went. N-now that I know I… what they have is real and I think we s-should let them be… whatever it i-is they w-want to be to each, each other.”
“You really think so?”
“Yes.”
She gets up and starts pacing around the room again.
“See I don’t think I can do that. Buffy could get hurt, and I’m not talking just physically. There are other ways she could get hurt, worse things she could do. Faith isn’t really known for being loving and considerate. She could…”
“She won’t.”
“But she might…”
“She won’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
“W-Willow, honey… I do know it. F-Faith feels the s-same way about Buffy t-that Buffy feels a-about Faith.”
“Are you sure?”
“Y-Yes… Faith m-might be a l-little confused because, because she’s n-never felt something like this before but it’s there.”
“You’re sure?”
“Do you trust me?”
“With my life…”
“T-then trust m-me when I say they, they may have their r-ruff spots b-but neither of them would e-ever intentionally hurt each, each other.”
She comes back over and cups my head in her hands and kisses me lightly.
“IF you believe it then I do too.”
She kneels on the bed and puts her arms around my neck, effectively straddling me.
“You always do that.”
“What?”
“Make me realize just how much I love you.”
She kisses me deeply, pushing me back on to the bed.
Need------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Faith?”
I’m still a little groggy as I wake up but there’s only one thing on my mind.
“Faith?”
“I’m here Buffy, I’m here.”
I feel a hand holding mine and the soft feeling is unforgettable. I open my eyes to the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen, the woman I love staring back at me.
“Oh thank god you’re all right B.”
She leans down and hugs me tightly. The pain in my ribs shoots through my body.
“Ow!”
She pulls back in a panic.
“Oh my god did I… are you okay? Did I, did I hurt you?”
I smile at her and put my arms out to hug her back.
“I’m okay I’m just… I guess a little sore. Probably one of the drawbacks of fighting an invincible killing machine.”
She hugs me again and this time I hug her back.
God she feels so good. I can smell the sweet smell of her hair.
She whispers to me before breaking the hug.
“Not so invincible any more.”
She brushes my hair out of my face and smiles at me.
“I guess not. Thank you Faith.”
“Don’t mention it B. I did what I had to do to save the one I… the world. I did what I had to do to save the world. Isn’t that what we hero types do?”
I suppose it is.
“Yeah, but how did you do it? I mean, I went up against Adam twice and he’s kicked my ass both times, but you…”
“I know.”
“You stopped him.”
“I know.”
I sit up, despite the pain, on what I now realize is Giles’ couch.
“How?”
She stands up and I move to an upright sitting position so she can sit beside me, and she does.
“I’m not sure but…”
She takes my hand in hers and cradles it.
“I think it was you.”
Me? What does she mean it was me?
“You think it was me?”
“Yeah I… we were fighting Adam and, something happened.”
Happened? Is she okay?
“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did Adam hurt you?”
“N-no… I’m fine, I’m okay. It’s just… I, I saw what he was doing. I saw that he was hurting you and, and I just snapped…”
Snapped?
“I had to stop him, no matter what. I had to stop him from hurting you.”
“And that made you snap?”
“Yeah, it was like before. When I tried to hurt you.”
I look down at Faith’s hand holding mine.
“That wasn’t your fault that was the spell.”
“I know but it felt the same way, like the spell.”
“But the spell it… it’s off.”
“What?”
We look at each other and she has this look of hope on her face.
“What do you mean?”
“The spell is broken.”
“But I thought Red’s spell didn’t work.”
“It didn’t… but she figured out the reason it didn’t work is because the spell was off.”
“What the hell are you talking about? How did it get broken?”
“It was us, our love…”
I grip her hand.
“When we kissed for the first time, it broke the spell.”
“I… how?”
“The spell they used on you, it was supposed to make you hate me even more than you already did. But instead we fell in love, the feelings we share saved us both. Your love for me broke the spell, and my love for you brought us together. Or at least it did… until I screwed it all up.”
She lets go of my hand and pulls away.
Oh god, why did I have to say that?
“Right. Look B I…”
“Please Faith can we… can we just be happy that we stopped Adam and that we’re both all right? Can’t we just be together? If only for a few minutes.”
“I told you B, no matter what happened with us in the Initiative that it wouldn’t change things between us and I meant it.”
“Faith I…”
“You’re okay, that’s what’s important. I couldn’t live with myself if I let something happen to you.”
I reach out to her and she gets up off the couch to avoid my touch.
“But you’re okay now, so I can go.”
Go? I don’t want her to go.
She starts to inch toward the door.
“Faith, wait…”
I try and get up to stop her but the pain in my ribs makes it impossible. I look up at her as she struggles to decide whether to comfort me or not.
“Don’t… don’t you love me?”
She decides not to.
“I-I… I do care about you B. More than I could ever express to you, and if you ever need my help again just call. But things between us are not okay… and I don’t know that they ever will be. One day maybe, but that day is not today.”
She tries to leave and I get up, blocking out the pain in my ribs but my leg gives way sending me to the floor. Giles comes in from the other room with gauze.
“Faith? I’ve got some gauze to bandage her ribs until… Buffy?”
He comes over to help me.
“Take care of her G-man she looks like she needs it.”
She leaves.
“Faith!”
Giles helps me on to the couch.
“Buffy you need to calm down before you hurt yourself.”
I don’t need to calm down, there’s only one thing I need.
“What I need, is Faith.”
I settle back into the couch and the pain in my mid section lessens, but only my physical pain. He looks at me with concern.
“You really do love her don’t you?”
He smiles.
“With all my heart.”
He starts to unroll the gauze.
“Then all shall work out. Lift up your shirt and I will bandage your ribs.”
I lift up my shirt gently, the pain still running through me and he starts to wrap my ribs in gauze.
I have to get her back, I just have to.
“How do you know? She, she just left like that. She must really hate me.”
“No, she does not.”
“But…”
“Buffy when Faith came in here with you in her arms she was in a panic. The kind of panic only a person in love could be in if they feared the loss of the one they love.”
He wraps the gauze around me a few more times and then secures it with a safety pin. I let my shirt fall, covering my injury.
“You… you really think she l-loves me?”
“I know it.”
He starts to pull my right pant leg up to check it.
“Tell me where it hurts.”
He gently touches my leg, checking for sore spots.
“How? Did you talk to her? Did she tell you she loved me?”
If she told him she loved me, why did she leave?
“We spoke briefly…”
He touches a bad spot.
“Ow!”
“Sorry.”
He takes the gauze and wraps it around my upper calf.
“I must admit that I was originally quite sceptical about what was happening between the both of you, but after Faith brought you here I realized she only has your own best interests at heart. Even if she might be unsure about her own.”
He finishes wrapping my leg and pins it with a safety pin. I lean forward and hug him.
“Thank you Giles I… thank you for understanding and for, and for giving us a chance.”
After a second Giles pulls away and I let him go.
“Yes, well… I was your Watcher Buffy. It was my job to look out for your best interests, and even though it may no longer be official I still feel responsible for your well being.”
“I know and I wanna thank you for that.”
He stands up and back away.
He’s always been uncomfortable with the whole caring about people thing.
“It’s all right, I don’t mind. Now, what do you want to do now that Adam is out of the way?”
We should get together.
“We should get the guys together. I wanna tell them what happened.”
“Okay, I’ll make the calls.”
“Thanks.”
She’ll come back to me, she has to.
Coming Apart------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“So what’s going on?”
Going on? Faith just trampled over my life is what’s going on.
“Did Buffy find another reason to yell at us?”
“I… I’m not gonna yell, not unless someone gives me a reason.”
I won’t, I’m gonna keep my cool for the sake of the group. Just as long as they don’t start attacking Faith, if they attack Faith I’m gonna yell.
“Okay well, I’d like to be elsewhere when she does that.”
“Anya please, now is not the time.”
“It’s never the time to be honest is it Xander? It’s never time to say exactly what we mean with you guys.”
“Adam is dead.”
The conversation comes to a dead halt at my words, everyone with a slight look of shock on their face. Everyone but Giles and Tara that is.
I know why Giles isn’t shocked but Tara? Why is she trying to hide her smile? It’s almost like she’s happy for me. Why? I feel like crap, she should be picking up on that. Why is it making her smile?
“Adam’s dead? When?”
“Faith brought Buffy here about 20 minutes ago, she was in bad condition.”
“Who Faith?”
I lift up my pant leg to show them the bandage on my leg.
“Oh my god! Buffy, are you okay?”
“Well I’m not in the greatest condition like Giles said, but I’m alive and healing. As you can see Will.”
“What about Faith?”
I turn to Xander.
“What about her?”
“Is she all right?”
“Do you care?”
He looks at me for a second, without the indecision I thought I’d see in his eyes.
“Of course I care Buffy, we all do. Just because I don’t get along with Faith, well except for that one time, doesn’t mean I want her to die any more than you do. I noticed she wasn’t here.”
“She’s fine she…”
I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath before continuing.
“She had to go.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know she said, she said she had somewhere else she had to be.”
We break into silence.
“Well okay… this is great, Adam’s dead. I knew you’d take ‘em down sooner or later Buff.”
“It wasn’t me.”
“What?”
“It was Faith.”
“What do you mean?”
“Faith was the one who killed Adam.”
“What? How?”
“Well I was kinda busy struggling to breathe at the time but… I was fighting Adam and, and all of the sudden she attacked him. She just attacked him and it was like she became this force. It was like she wouldn’t stop until Adam was dead.”
“Really? Did she, did she say how she did it?”
“She thinks it was me.”
“She thinks you did it? Well maybe you did.”
“N-no that’s not what I meant. I was, I was fighting Adam and he was kicking my ass and…”
“Where was Faith?”
I glare at Willow.
“She was busy getting thrown across the room. Okay so, she said she saw how he was hurting me and she just snapped. She said she couldn’t let him hurt me anymore. She would do whatever it took to stop him from hurting me, and she did. She killed Adam to keep him from hurting me.”
I feel like I’m gonna cry as I bury my face in my hands.
She did that for me and she still left.
“Really?”
I try and wipe the pain off my face before looking up at anyone.
“Yeah, she did.”
I drop my head into my hands again as my previous attempts to keep from crying aren’t working.
Faith…
“Well that’s good… isn’t it? I mean Faith doing the right thing, trying to be part of the good guy team, that’s good right?”
I dig my fingers into my skull trying to keep myself from crying.
“Well yes… it could be quite beneficial to have a second slayer on our side. Especially with her apparent new strength.”
“Yeah but…”
Here it comes.
“Well, taking out Adam is no small order. Buffy’s really strong and Adam beat her up pretty bad.”
Okay pull yourself together. You can’t just let them suggest what they are about to suggest. No matter how much I might want to break down and cry.
“What if her new power makes her change her mind? She might…”
“She won’t Xander.”
I look up, composing myself.
“But…”
“If she cares about me at all the way I know she does, she won’t.”
“She took Adam apart, who’s gonna stop her from…?”
“I am.”
“Buffy if she…”
“No… when I said I’m gonna stop her I didn’t mean by killing her. If she ever tries to hurt someone, she’s gonna have to kill me to do it and I KNOW she can’t do that. But more than that I KNOW that it would never come to that. She wants to do the right thing and she IS a good person.”
“Buffy…”
“And nothing any of you can say will EVER convince me otherwise.”
I love Faith and I trust her and our love. I won’t betray it for anything.
“Maybe… maybe we s-should argue about t-this.”
I look over at Tara, who’s still trying to conceal her happy look.
I should really talk to her about that maybe she knows something I don’t.
“Tara’s right. We’re never going to agree on this. You guys don’t trust Faith at all and I trust her completely. We may never agree on anything involving Faith ever again. We should probably stop trying.”
“It’s not that we don’t trust Faith, Buff. We just want you to be prepared for the worst. Your relationships have a tendency to go badly and it really does a number on you when it does.”
I lean forward and pain from my ribs shoots through me.
“Can we, can we not drudge up my track record with love right now? My ribs are killing me and I just wanna go home and go to bed.”
“Buffy is correct, now is not the time for this. Adam is gone, and there doesn’t appear to be any immediate threat from the vampire cult. I believe we could all benefit from a good night’s rest.”
Good.
“Especially me. I’m gonna go.”
I get up despite my leg and make my way to the door.
“Buffy do you want…?”
“No.”
I can’t deal with people right now. I get to the door and someone stops me.
“Tara?”
Dropping Of The Eaves------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Willow’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Buffy did you want…?”
“No.”
She just cut Giles right off.
She really isn’t okay is she?
Tara stands up from her chair and takes my hand.
“W-Willow, honey… I’m gonna g-go talk to B-Buffy.”
Talk to Buffy? About what?
“Will you be okay f-for a m-minute?”
“Of course honey, go ahead.”
I let go of Tara’s hand and she smiles at me before heading to catch up with Buffy.
She probably just wants to help her deal with whatever’s eating her up inside. Buffy looked like she was in a bad way a second ago. It could’ve been the fight with Adam, or it could’ve been something else. The fact that Faith just left seemed to really get her down.
“Buffy?”
Maybe I should stop listening.
“What do you want Tara?”
“I… I just wanted to s-see if you were okay. Are you all right?”
“No I’m not, and you of all people should know that.”
“I-I’m sorry.”
“No I’m sorry I… it’s just she’s gone. We saved the world together and she just left. I feel like crap Tara. My ribs hurt, my leg is killing me and she just left like she didn’t even care.”
“But she d-does.”
She does?
“Does she? I mean, I wanna believe that she cares I really do it’s just…”
Buffy seems to weaken slightly and Tara comes to her rescue, putting Buffy’s arm over her shoulder.
“I need to go.”
“Of, of course.”
She leads Buffy out of Giles’ place and on to his porch. I don’t know why I decide to eavesdrop but I do. I stand just out of view of the doorway.
“Buffy you don’t have to w-worry. S-she does c-care about you.”
“She said that too but… I don’t think she, she meant it.”
“B-B-Buffy she, she s-saved your life didn’t s-she?”
“She didn’t do that because she cared about me, she did that because she… she owed me for, something.”
“See I… I d-don’t think that’s what it was. She saved your l-life because she, she loves you. You… you said she killed Adam to, to save you. That’s s-something isn’t it?”
“I don’t know anymore Tara. I just don’t know.”
There are a few moments of silence.
Buffy is really hurting over what happened with Faith. I wish there was something I could do.
“Did you tell her?”
What?
“T-tell her what?”
Tell who what?
“Did you tell Willow about what happened?”
Tara was supposed to tell me something?
“I… it n-never happened re-remember?”
Something never happened?
“I know but that doesn’t mean you should lie to her.”
Lie to me?
“I’m not lying. It, it was nothing.”
Tara’s never lied to me before. Is she lying to me now?
“You were there when I needed you, Willow will understand that.”
What is it I’m supposed to understand?
“It, it’s not that I d-don’t w-want to tell her it’s that there’s… there’s nothing to tell.”
“I’m sorry Tara I shouldn’t have brought it up. You’re right it was nothing you don’t have to tell her. You love Willow and I love Faith, no matter how much she hates me, that’s all that matters.”
“She, she doesn’t h-hate you.”
“Yeah… right… I’m gonna go home, maybe cry myself to sleep.”
I peak around the door and Buffy is making her way down the stairs, her injuries making it hard to leave.
“Is she okay? Maybe we shouldn’t let her go alone Adam did a lot of damage.”
“She’ll be all, all right. I’m more worried about her in-inner pain then her out-outer pain.”
I take Tara’s hand in mine.
“She’s really hurting isn’t she?”
Tara turns to face me.
“You should talk to her.”
What?
“To Buffy? I don’t think she’d listen even if I did. She’s kinda angry with me.”
“Not her, F-Faith…”
Faith?
“Faith is even less likely to listen to me. She and I have never really gotten along and I don’t see that changing.”
“B-but you can h-help her.”
“Faith was able to take out Adam all by herself, she doesn’t need my help.”
“But B-Buffy does.”
Buffy? I thought she wanted me to help Faith.
“You’re not making any sense honey. You asked me to talk to Faith.”
“Talking to Faith d-does help B-Buffy.”
“I’m confused.”
“Buffy t-thinks that Faith h-hates h-her.”
“Doesn’t she? I mean you heard what Buffy said about what happened. She said Faith just let Adam beat on her, and then when it was over she just left.”
“N of, of course not. F-Faith loves Buffy, re-member? We t-talked about this. But the only one who could convince B-Buffy she’s w-wrong is Faith. If you t-talk to Faith she m-might do that. T-talk to her Willow, f-for me.”
I close my eyes and grip Tara’s hand a little harder.
“I wouldn’t know what to say.”
I open my eyes to look at her and she’s not angry, thank god.
“I under-understand.”
“Can we just, go home and go to bed?”
We both look down the stairs to notice that Buffy has disappeared from the immediate area.
“Are you sure she’ll be okay?”
“I think so… but let’s let her be for a-a while.”
“Good idea, let’s go home.”
“Okay.”
We walk down the stairs on our way home.
I’m sorry Tara, I love you but I’m not gonna talk to Faith. It’s like I said I wouldn’t know what to say to her, and she probably wouldn’t listen if I did.
Kicked Out------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I walk down the second floor hallway to my dorm room.
The pain from the fight with Adam isn’t so bad anymore I think I can bear it for a few more minutes. I’ll get some rest, maybe cry myself to sleep, and in a couple hours I’ll be okay. Well as okay as I can be without Faith to come home to. But that will never happen. She’ll never love me the way I love her, not after what I’ve done to her.
Damn it! I should’ve trusted her. I should’ve believed her. If I had then maybe we’d be together now, maybe she’d be here with me now helping me home. Maybe she’d bring me home, put me to bed, kiss me and make everything all better. Maybe she’d love me.
I stop just outside my door, leaning against the wall with my left hand.
God Faith, what I wouldn’t give to hold you in my arms right now.
I look up at my door which is barely hanging off its hinges, the door’s been kicked in and the lock broken. A pink note on the door catches my eye.
What’s this?
I take the note off the door and go in. I start to read the note.
‘Dear Ms. Summers, we regret to inform you that due to a number of recent tragedies on campus which through various sources have been linked either directly or indirectly to you we are terminating your tenure here at Sunnydale University. We have also learned that a Sunnydale citizen who has been linked to a number of murders last year has been staying with you for a number of days.’
What the hell? Why is that a problem?
‘As you well know, it is against University policy for any person who is not a registered student to stay on campus over night without a guest pass for any reason. You are also clearly in violation of campus policy as we do not condone the actions of any student who has committed or is connected to any criminal activity on or off campus. We ask that you vacate the campus completely by next wee or we will be forced to remove you.
Thank you.
Dean of Students’
They… they can’t do this.
My knees buckle and I fall to the ground.
They’re kicking me out?
The tears in my eyes start to pour out of me.
What am I gonna do? I’m getting kicked out. There’s not way I can fight this. They’re right, they have every reason to kick me out and I haven’t got a thing to fight back with. I have nothing. I have less than nothing. I lost my love, I lost Faith, my friends don’t trust me, and now I don’t even have classes to take my mind off it. What am I gonna do?
I crawl along the floor to the foot of my bed.
Oh god I wish I was dead.
I run my fingers through my hair, grabbing it trying to tear it out of my head.
I need you Faith. I need you hear with me to help me through this. I don’t think I can live like this, knowing I have to go on without her.
I just lie there and cry my head against the end of the bed.
What am I gonna do?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spike’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Bugger… why did I have so much to drink? I should know by now, with all the drinking I’ve done over the years, the more you drink the worse the soddin hangover in the morning.
The door to my crypt flies open, the dawning sunlight making my skin sizzle as I jump off the crypt top to the safety of the darkness.
“Hey watch it.”
“SPIKE!”
Not this wanker again.
“What are you doing here John?”
He takes the blanket off and throws it on the floor.
“Hey pick that up would ya? I just tidied up the place.”
“Why are you here Spike? Shouldn’t you be out slaughtering the innocent soldiers of the Initiative?”
“That scene didn’t really agree with me.”
“What?”
“Yeah I got bored decided it was more fun to do nothing.”
“We had a deal.”
“Actually we didn’t. Adam told me if I help him he’d take my chip out, so I helped him. It had nothing to do with you, and besides which our deal was kinda contingent on one very important factor.”
“What’s that?”
“That Adam be around to remove the chip later, which he’s not.”
“Adam’s dead?”
“Yeah ain’t it a tragedy? In a happy kinda way.”
“How?”
“Well, just to take a wild guess here but… I’d say it was the SLAYERS.”
I pick up my lighter and my smokes.
“I know that Spike, I was asking how they did it.”
I take a smoke out of the pack and light it.
“Don’t know, don’t care.”
“Well you’ve gotta find out.”
Find out?
“Bugger that.”
“Why not?”
I take a drag of my ciggy.
Am I really gonna have to go through this again?
“I told you, the only reason I help you Omega wanna-bees is cause Adam promised to remove the soddin chip in my head after the big battle. But with Adam six feet under, or I guess it would be more like 30 feet under, I’ve got no reason to help you. Plus I don’t much like you either.”
“What about the slayers?”
Buffy and Faith?
“What about them?”
“You want them dead just as much as we do.”
“So?”
“So you help us and that can happen.”
“Maybe so but I wouldn’t be the one doing the killing would I?”
“What?”
I take another drag.
“I take one swing at either of them and this bloody chip goes off.”
“You still get to see them die.”
“You’re not getting it, mate. It’s no fun unless you do it yourself. I’ve killed two slayers in my day, both of them with my own two hands. That’s something you’ll never be able to understand, killing a slayer with your bare hands is a powerful experience. Sinking your teeth into their nubile young flesh is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.”
“I know what it’s like to drink blood Spike.”
“Not slayers blood mate. Slayers blood is different than normal blood, it’s sweeter, and it has a better after taste. It’s not something you can drink from a glass, in order to get true satisfaction out of it you have to get it from the source, from the sweet supple neck of a slayer… god I miss being able to drink the fresh blood of a nice ripe little girl.”
I look at John as I take another drag of my ciggy and he’s not impressed.
“Are you gonna help us or not?”
I roll my eyes at him.
“Not unless you let me kill the slayers myself, or you can get this chip out of my head.”
“Not as such.”
“Then shove off before I shove you off.”
“Spike you…”
I pick up his blanket and throw it in his face, blinding him as I lead him to the door and throw him out.
“Now sod off.”
He starts to sizzle and he covers himself with the blanket as he runs off for shelter.
Stupid ponce.
I close the door to my crypt and go back inside. I lie back down on the slab of concrete I call a bed and go back to dealing with my hangover.
I hope the slayers beat the crap out of him before they stake him. I think really wanna be there to see it too.
Getting Over It------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Willow’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“We have a problem.”
Buffy slams a piece of paper down on Giles’ coffee table right in front of me.
“Buffy, I didn’t see you come in.”
She all but ignores me as she pulls a stool over and sits down.
“Or more to the point I have a problem.”
“How are you Buffy? Did you heal okay?”
“I healed okay. I took a nap and I’m fine Giles.”
Why don’t I believe her?
“What’s going on? What’s this?”
I pick up the pink piece of paper and start looking it over.
‘Dear Ms. Summers… are terminating the rest of your tenure… a Sunnydale citizen who… a number of murders last year… in violation of campus policy… vacate the premises completely by next week.’
What?
“This doesn’t make any sense. They can’t do this.”
“You read the letter you know why they’re doing it. They can and they are doing this.”
“What? What’s happening?”
I hand Xander the note and he reads it.
“Buffy’s being kicked out of University.”
Xander and Giles have the same thought.
“What?”
Buffy runs her fingers through her hair.
“Yeah I know.”
We can do something about this.
“Well we can, we can fight this. We’ll take it to the Council for Student Rights.”
Xander pipes in.
“Yeah, we can fight this tooth and nail until…”
“I don’t want to.”
What?
“What do you mean? We can fight this we can make them keep you in school.”
“I don’t want to fight it.”
She doesn’t want to fight it?
“What do you want to do?”
“I just want to move out and never come back.”
Why doesn’t she want to fight back? Buffy always fights back, but she doesn’t want to this time. It’s like she’s just given up. Why would she do that?
“But Buffy…”
“I can’t. It’s just… there are too many um… things I… I don’t want to remember. I think the best thing for me is just to leave.”
I get it now, this is about Faith. She was staying with Buffy there when they… when she fell for Faith. She doesn’t want to be reminded of what happened between them.
“What are you gonna do?”
She’s trying to forget her.
“Well I, I told her about Faith… about how she was back and, and about her being good now and all that but I…”
She stops, unsure of how to finish the sentence.
“You didn’t tell her about you and Faith? About how things changed between you…”
She drops her head into her hands as if she’s about to cry.
She didn’t tell her mom.
“I wanted to… I was going to I just, I couldn’t get the words out.”
She didn’t tell her mom because she knows they aren’t getting back together, because she’s trying to let go and move on.
“What do you want us to do Buffy? How can we help?”
She lifts her head up, sniffling with tears in her eyes.
“Would you guys, help me move? Help me get all my stuff out of my dorm before they confiscate it or something.”
“Of course Buffy, we’ll help in any way we can.”
“Thank you, guys.”
“Should we contact Faith? She may wish to help.”
“No I… I don’t want to bother her with something like this. It’s not important.”
“You are getting kicked out of University, I’m certain she would wish to help.”
“It, it’s not life and death stuff, we should probably just let her be.”
This doesn’t sound like someone who wants to get back with the woman she loves.
“Okay…”
Xander breaks the silence we’ve fallen into.
“Well what about Willow?”
Me?
“What about me?”
“Well, the letter doesn’t say anything about you Will. It just says dear Ms. Summers.”
I spent so much time thinking about Buffy’s situation, I never even considered how it would affect me.
“Are you gonna stay there?”
“Well I… I dunno, I… I hadn’t really thought about it. I guess I could stay but, I don’t think I want to. So much has happened there, I don’t think I could sleep knowing what happened. But I wanna finish school.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“I don’t know.”
“W-Well I… if you w-want you can j-just stay w-with me.”
“Tara?”
“You can m-move in with m-me per-permanently.”
She smiles at me.
That’s a big step… but we’re ready. We love each other that much.
I reach out and squeeze her hand.
“Thank you.”
She squeezes my hand back and her smile widens.
“Any-anything for you…”
“Well it looks like everyone has a place to go.”
I guess they do.
“Yeah I guess we do Xander.”
I look over at Buffy who quickly looks away from Tara’s hand in mine.
She misses being this close to someone. I wish there was something I could do to help. Maybe Tara’s right, maybe I should go talk to Faith. But I still don’t know what to say.
“I’m gonna go, start packing.”
Moving Out But Not Moving On------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Willow’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Okay that’s it I have to talk to Faith.
I walk down the hall to Tara’s room, carrying with me the last of my stuff to be moved in.
It’s been three days since Buffy found out she was being kicked out of University and she’s been a wreck ever since. She may have taken the bandages off, but we could all tell she is still torn up inside. Faith hasn’t called or come by at all to see how Buffy was doing after the big Adam showdown. What kind of person does that? What kind of person doesn’t even call to check up on someone they claim to care about?
Buffy’s trying to act like it doesn’t matter, like she doesn’t notice Faith’s apparent lack of interest in her well being, but she does. She’s devastated she’s just putting on a brave face.
I walk up to Tara’s door and go inside. I start to look for a place to put my boxes down.
It wasn’t until we were loading the last of her stuff in the truck that I realized that Buffy wasn’t getting over Faith and probably never would, not completely.
I was coming back to our former dorm room to see if we had left anything and I found Buffy sitting on her former bed, caressing the mattress gently and looking around the room. I approached her cautiously, noticing the tears in her eyes.
“Buffy?”
She sniffles and looks at me.
“She loved me here you know? She didn’t say it in so many words, but she did. I know she did. And I loved her back. I still love her back.”
I sat down next to her on the bed.
“Buffy…”
“We were happy here. We didn’t know it at the time but we were.”
She wrapped her arms around me as the tears start to pour.
“We were happy here. We were happy once.. and now I have to leave it all behind. The way Faith left me behind.”
And that’s when it hit me. That’s when I knew there was only one thing I could do to help her, there was only one person who can make Buffy okay again.
I put my arms around her.
“Maybe you should go see her. Tell her you’re sorry. Tell her what’s happening, I’m sure she’d feel bad for not being there for that.”
She pulls away, drying her eyes and composing herself.
“No I… I don’t want to guilt her into being with me. She’d only end up hating me for it later on. I don’t wanna do that to her.”
“Okay.”
Then she got up and started to look around the room, the tears still evident in her eyes.
“Well, it looks like we got everything doesn’t it?”
I looked around the empty room.
“Yeah, I guess we did.”
“All right, let’s go then.”
I got up and she started to leave.
“Buffy?”
“You know, I think I’m gonna go scope out the Bronze tonight. Maybe see if there are a few vamps I can pound on for a while.”
“Buffy…”
“Yeah… that sounds like fun.”
Then she left and I eventually followed her. Ever since then all I could think about was moving everything in so I could go talk to Faith. I nearly dropped a bunch of boxes when we moved Buffy in I was so distracted.
I finally find a place to put the last of my stuff and Tara comes in.
“Hey baby, is that the last of it?”
“I-I think so. Mr. Giles said he’d take Xander and Anya h-home before he took the truck back.”
“Good.”
I put my arms around her waist.
“How was Buffy?”
She gets the said look on her face.
“Hurting… but that’s to b-be expected.”
That’s gonna change.
“Well I think she’ll be feeling better soon.”
“I don’t know I… I don’t see how.”
“Well if I can convince Faith to forgive her I bet her mood will change.”
She all but jumps into my arms in joy.
“Really? Y-you mean it?”
“Yeah… you were right Tara. Buffy isn’t gonna be okay unless Faith makes her that way, and the only way for that to happen is they have to be together.”
She kisses me.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
She kisses me a little more passionately.
“I may not be their biggest fans, but I’ll learn to live with it. For Buffy’s sake.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“Buffy, actually.”
“W-What?”
“Well it’s, it’s kinda hard to explain but… I saw what she’s been going through the past couple days and, well I want to help her.”
“When?”
When?
“When what?”
“When are you gonna g-go talk to her?”
“Well I thought you know now might be a good time. Now is as good a time as any right?”
“Yeah, right…”
She steps back and smiles.
“You s-should go.”
“I don’t have to.”
“No, it… Buffy will thank you for it.”
I let go of Tara.
“You’re right we’ll celebrate moving in together later.”
“Okay.”
I kiss her gently before leaving.
“I’ll be back.”
All You Need Is Love------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------What am I doing? What the hell is wrong with me? I care about Buffy, you could even say I l-l… I really, really care about Buffy. So what am I doing here? What am I doing pacing around my motel room? I’m staying away from Buffy is what I’m doing. I might l… care about her a lot but she accused me of murdering Riley. I admit I didn’t really like him but I’d never kill him. I don’t do that anymore, not since… the point is she accused me of murder, and I’m not gonna just forgive and forget that no matter how much I might want to.
No matter how much I might want to go to her and kiss her and tell her that everything was all right, that as long as we’re together nothing else matters. But I’m not going to. She made her choice and now she has to live with that, even if I don’t want her to. She has to… and yet, I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t stop wondering if she’s healing okay.
Giles said she’s gonna be okay but, somehow that only made it a little bit better. Maybe I should go see her, make sure she’s all right.
I walk towards the door but stop myself.
Maybe I shouldn’t, it would be too much of a temptation. I’ll call her… I’ll call Giles and find out how she’s feeling.
I go over to the phone and pick it up. There’s a knock at the door.
Who could that be?
I hang up the phone and look at the door.
Could it be her? Could she be coming to see me? Could she be checking up on me? Making sure I haven’t skipped town. Well, I’ll have to ask her.
I start toward the door.
For all I know the world could be coming to an end again and she might need my help.
I reach the door and open it.
I did after all I did promise to…
“Willow.”
I step back and cross my arms over my chest.
“Hey Faith how’s it going?”
Why is she trying to be nice?
I turn back into my room.
“What do you want Red? I’m kinda busy right now.”
She looks around the place.
“Yeah I can see you’re real busy with the lack of things to do.”
I turn around to see her come in the door.
“Did you want something?”
“I came to talk.”
What?
“You came to talk did you?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure that’s it?”
I get up close, a little too close for her liking.
“What?”
“I’m thinking, you heard about what went on between B and I and you came to get a piece of me yourself. After all, the four of us seem to be playing for the same team…”
I slip a leg between her thighs, putting as much of my body against hers as possible.
“You, me, Tara… and Buffy.”
She pushes me away.
“I came here to talk to you about Buffy.”
I let out a sigh and roll my eyes at her.
“What about her?”
“She’s a wreck.”
Really?
“Is she?”
“Yes, she is. Look I’ll admit, I don’t know everything that went on between you two, mainly because I was kept in the dark about it until recently, but what I do know is that Buffy is hurting. And she wouldn’t be hurting this much if she didn’t believe that there was something between you.”
“There was…”
I take a deep breath and run a hand through my hair.
“There still is.”
“Then go to her and tell her that. She needs to hear you tell her that.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why should I be the one who goes to her? She’s the one who screwed up. She should be the one coming to me.”
“Didn’t she?”
“What?”
“She went after you when she found out you didn’t kill Riley. You can’t tell me she went after you to discuss weather patterns.”
“She apologized, and apologized, and apologized… doesn’t mean she meant it.”
“She meant it. Trust me she meant it.”
Whatever.
“Even still…”
I move to go to the fridge for a cold one but her words stop me.
“She got kicked out Faith.”
What?
“What?”
“She got kicked out of University.”
What?
“How? Why? When?”
“You remember how Riley died right outside Buffy’s room?”
How could I forget?
“Yeah?”
“Well the Dean decided that, that whole thing was Buffy’s fault, so they kicked her out.”
But…
“But that wasn’t her fault I mean, the vampires they…”
“And I’m sure once we tell the Dean that they’ll just let her back in.”
“Right of course. But she’s fighting it right? I mean she’s not going down without a fight right?”
“Actually that’s exactly what she’s doing. She moved out today.”
Why didn’t she call me?
“She should’ve called me, I would’ve…”
“You would’ve what? Yelled at her some more? She’s barely hanging on by a thread with the things you’ve already apparently said. I don’t think she could go another round.”
“I had every right to say what I said after what she did, and I had every right to be angry too.”
“Yeah you did. You had every right to be angry with her.”
“Thank you.”
“But what you don’t have a right to do is STAY angry with her.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Faith when two people are in a relationship and they care about each other, yeah they fight and they get angry, but at the end of the day they forgive each other and move on.”
“So this is what you’re here for eh? To play Cupid to me and B. To get me to move on. Well the only problem is I haven’t heard a word you’ve said cause truthfully? I don’t like you.”
“This isn’t about you and me Faith this is about you and Buffy. You can hate me all you like. That’s fine with me because, I don’t like you much either… but Buffy loves you. So really there’s only one question I have left. Do you love her?”
Do I… do I love Buffy?
“It… it doesn’t matter how I feel, all that matters is what she did. She accused me of murder.”
“She made a mistake Faith we all make them sooner or later. And it does matter how you feel, because if you do love her in your heart of hearts, then what she did doesn’t matter because deep down all you care about is her. So tell me Faith… do you love her?”
I close my eyes as her words make me wanna cry. And then I say something I never thought I’d say.
“I do. I really do.”
I look at Willow through watery eyes as she puts her hands on my shoulders.
“Then tell her that.”
I wipe the tears from my eyes.
“But… but what if I can’t? I mean, I’ve never said… that, to anyone before.”
“Then show her. Show her you love her and she’ll know it’s true.”
“But...”
She gives me a clear path to the door.
“Go.”
“Where? Where do I find her?”
“She said she was gonna go to the Bronze tonight, probably to drown her sorrow. But you can fix that. She’s probably there now, go.”
I sprint for the door but stop before leaving.
“Willow…”
“Just go. Thank me later, find her now.”
And with that, I’m off like a lighting bolt. Off to find the woman I love, and tell her so.
Magic Movie Moments------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buffy’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Oh god that tastes horrible… but it’s alcoholic and right now that’s the best thing for me. Getting drunk is the only way I’m ever gonna forget how I feel about Faith. It’s the only way I’ll ever forget that we’ll never be together the way we should be. Not that I ever will, forget about Faith I mean. Getting drunk is easy it just takes lots and lots of beers. It’s forgetting Faith that’ll take some work. It’ll take more than just this one beer I’ve got anyway.
I take another swig of my beer but it doesn’t help.
I’ll never forget Faith she’s too much a part of me. She’s in every part of me, in my heart, my soul. I’ll never get over her.
The song the band is playing comes to a close and I look up at the stage.
They’re a pretty good band the lead singer’s got some pipes on her too. I think she said her name was Avril Lavigne. Course it would help me like her if she didn’t sing nothing but love songs. God how I hate those songs right now. I so don’t need to be reminded of what I’ve lost.
You know in a perfect world Faith would come through the door as the next song came on. She’d come in, she’d kiss me and forgive me for what I did, just like in the movies. She’d forgive me for what I did and kiss me and I’d take her home and make love to her all night long… if this were like the movies.
I take a drink of my beer and I cringe at the taste.
In a perfect world that’s the way this night would happen.
I take another drink.
But this isn’t a perfect world far from it… this world sucks. Why the hell do I keep saving it anyway? Maybe the next time the end of the world comes along I’ll just let it come. God knows it’d be better than living the rest of my life without her.
The next song starts up and I find myself looking toward the door, hoping maybe she might be there, but she’s not.
“I’m standing on the bridge…”
She’ not GOING to be there.
“I’m waiting in the dark…”
I gotta accept that.
“I thought that you’d be here, by now…”
I take a drink of my beer and the tears stream down my face.
“There’s nothing but the rain, no footsteps on the ground…”
I look toward the door again and…
Oh my god, Faith?
She comes through the door and looks around.
“I’m listening but there’s, no sound…”
Our eyes meet and it’s like the whole world goes away and there’s just us. She walks toward me and I don’t know what to do.
What is she…? Why is she…?
Before I know it she’s standing in front of me, looking at me with those beautiful eyes of hers, nothing but love in them. I don’t know what to say as she gets closer, her eyes never leaving mine. The chorus strikes up and she takes me in her arms and kisses me like I’ve never been kissed before. I bring my arms up, taking her head in my hands to kiss her back harder.
SHE LOVES ME! SHE REALLY DOES LOVE ME!
We break our kiss finally and look into each other’s eyes, my tears of pain now tears of joy. I don’t know what to say as she smiles at me but lucky for me she speaks first, whispering to me softly.
“Buffy?”
She wipes away the tears on my cheeks with her thumbs.
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh no… oh no Faith I’m so… I’m so sorry, I should’ve…”
“Ssh, it’s all right. None of that matters now. All that matters is right here, right now. All that matters is you and me, and this…”
She kisses me gently and passionately.
“I love you Faith.”
“I know… I know exactly how you feel.”
I kiss her passionately before squeezing her in a tight embrace. I whisper in her ear.
“Faith?”
“Hmm?”
“I want you to come back with me.”
“Back?”
“Come back to my place with me.”
She pulls back slightly to look at me.
“Are you sure?”
God yes.
“I’m sure.”
“W-What about your mom?”
“She’s gonna be away all night at the gallery. We can be alone all night together.”
“You mean it?”
I push the hair back out of her face to really look at her.
“I… I don’t want to spend another night without you Faith. I don’t want to spend another night without you next to me while I sleep. I want to feel your body against mine. I want to know that all I have to do is look down at you and feel completely happy. So come back to my place with me… please?”
She doesn’t say anything she just looks at me and smiles.
We don’t need words to express the volumes of text we see in each other’s eyes.
She takes my hand in hers and we leave. We leave for an experience neither of us will ever forget.
Two Into One------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Faith’s POV
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Oh Faith…”
“Buffy…”
We pretty much crash through Buffy’s bedroom door, groping and pawing at each other as we do. I kick the door closed.
“Buffy…”
I start to kiss down her neck sucking on it gently. I take her right breast in my hand, massaging it, sending her reeling.
“Faith, kiss me…”
I work my way back up her neck, along her chin and kiss her lips passionate like. We move toward the bed, me grabbing at her pants, her tugging at my shirt trying to pull it off me. Her pants come undone as we hit the foot of the bed and she falls on top of it. She looks up at me standing over her, the incredible eyes of the woman I love staring into my soul as I pull my shirt over my head and throw it across the room. She looks up at my exposed flesh. Her voice fills with desire as she sits up wrapping her arms around my waist and kisses my stomach.
“Faith… you’re so, so beautiful… I love you…”
I put my hands on her head as she kisses her way up my stomach, between my breasts, until we’re face to face again standing at the foot of the bed.
“I know I feel it too. I feel it in every part of me, in my heart and soul.”
She kisses me and grabs my body, pulling me down on to the bed and climbing on top of me. She takes her shirt off and throws it on the floor before straddling me. She leans down, pressing our flesh together as our lips meet. She whispers my name and she kisses her way back down my body.
“Faith…”
“Buffy…”
She kisses me twice on the chest just above my breasts making my whole body convulse with pleasure. I feel her hot breath against my breasts, centering over my erect nipple. She flicks her tongue over my nipple and my hips buck into hers. I can’t help but moan as he lips press against my naked flesh, sucking my left breast into her mouth. I let out an audible gasp as her tongue swirls around my areola. After a few moments of sucking she switches breasts, teasing my left nubbin with her thumb while sucking on the right.
“Buffy…”
I arch my body into her touch as she sucks on my breast.
“Faith…”
Her hands glide down my body, nearly setting me off right there as our eyes meet. She reaches down and starts to undo my pants.
“This really is happening…”
She kisses me.
“Oh yeah…”
We…
“We’re really gonna do this…”
The button snaps on my leathers and I take her hands in mine, stopping her.
“Wait, Buffy…”
Her left hand cradles my cheek.
“What?”
“Are we really gonna do this?”
“I want to… don’t you?”
I reach up, tangling my finger in her hair.
“Of course I do I just… I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and find out this was all a mistake. I couldn’t take that.”
“It’s not.”
“But…”
“Faith, I love you. Do you love me?”
“Yes, with all that I am.”
“Then nothing we do tonight could ever be a mistake.”
“Okay.”
She kisses me and slips her fingers under my belt line, pulling my pants down over my hips, my thighs and completely off taking my thong with it. She moves back up my body leaving her hands down around my pelvis.
I never thought it’d be like this, never in my wildest dreams. With her, it’s like nothing I’ve ever known.
She kisses her way down my body… ALL the way down.
Every desire anticipated every need satisfied. No one has ever made me feel this way and the more I feel it the more it makes me want her.
Her hands graze my thighs and I part them for her, letting her in. She moves between my legs, raising my knees as she crouches between my thighs. My whole body shudders as her breath hits my pussy, breathing hard into me.
“I-I’m not really sure what I’m… d-doing.”
“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”
“But… but I want to. I want to make you feel good. I just, wanted you to know in case I wasn’t you know… good.”
I reach down and push her hair out of her face as she looks up at me.
“You could never be bad at making me feel good B.”
She dives in, licking and kissing my pussy in all the right places, sending me into wave after wave of ecstasy.
“Buffy…”
I close my eyes as my head thrashes from side to side as another wave hits me. Her tongue brushes my clit and my whole body arches upward nearly pushing me over the edge. I come down off that incredible high and she’s looking down at me.
“Oh Buffy that was…”
She quiets me with a kiss and I can taste myself on her lips. It makes me kiss her harder.
“Faith… I love you…”
I put my arms around her and turn the woman I love over. I kiss her deep and passionately.
“Buffy… you’re everything I ever wanted, you know that?”
“I know Faith, I know.”
I kiss my way down her body, making her moan and convulse with every touch of my lips. I take the left bra strap between my teeth and pull it down over her shoulder. I brush the other strap down off her shoulder. I reach down and unclasp her bra, pushing the lacy fabric aside revealing her beautiful breasts. I look down at her body and it’s like my heart stops. She arches her body into mine to throw her bra away and I kiss between her breasts to hear her moan.
“God you’re amazing B. I don’t think I realized just how amazing you were till now.”
Our lips connect short and sweet like. I fiddle with her pants. Her button comes undone and I start to take her pants off.
“Buffy… I’ve waited so long for this. I’ve waited so long to taste you.”
Her pants come off and I can’t help but run my hands along her naked legs.
“Faith…”
“Buffy…”
I kiss her deeply, my tongue entering her inviting mouth. My hand glides down between her legs pressing my fingers against her sweet sex, over her panties. Her hips gyrate as I move my fingers over her pussy.
“Faith…”
I plant a kisses across her chest and then move down to her areola of pleasure. I suck on her tit, flicking my tongue over her nipple. Her whole body arches into my touch, moaning uncontrollably.
“Faith…”
“Buffy…”
I switch breasts as I rub her pussy harder making her groan louder.
“Oh Faith…”
I lift my lips from her breast to look at her, my hand never leaving her thighs.
“Make love to me Faith, oh god make love to me.”
“I will…”
I pull her panties off, grazing my fingers over her silky white skin. She shudders with pleasure as I throw her panties across the room. She opens her legs to me and I lean down, pressing as much of my body against hers as I can.
“Faith…?”
I brush her hair out of her face and look down into her eyes.
It’s like she’s staring into my soul, filling me with her love, and vice-versa.
“I love you…”
“I know.”
I kiss her deeply and quickly before moving down her body on the bed. I lie down between her legs, kissing both her thighs as I prepare for what I’m about to do.
“Faith…”
I take a deep breath and her hips move to the feeling of my breath on her naked crotch. I kiss her pussy lips and her eyes roll back in her head. I lick my lips, tasting my love’s sweet nectar on them.
God she tastes incredible.
I start to lick and suck at my lover’s inner folds sending her into fits of ecstasy with every flick of my tongue. Her whole body surges as my tongue enters her. She moans my name as I tease her clit.
“Faith…”
Every time her body moans and gasps to my touch I can’t help but want to hear it more. Every time my name escapes her perfect lips I try harder and faster to hear it again.
“Faith…”
I slip my index finger into her and her muscles clench around it. I start to push into her again and again, her hips buck back into my thrusts.
“Faith…”
I lift my head slightly as I push a second finger inside her.
“Buffy… Buffy I…”
“F-Faith w…”
She takes my head in her hands, lifting it more, my fingers still inside her.
“Wait…”
I move my way up her body, staring down into her eyes.
“Don’t… please don’t ask me to stop… not after…”
“No… I would never ask you… I just…”
Her left hand grabs my hip, her right sliding down between my sweaty thighs pressing her fingers against my pleasure center. I let out a deep gasp and nearly collapse on top of her as I feel two of her fingers enter me.
“We should do it… together… I want us to…”
She stops mid sentence as I push my two fingers deeper into her. She pushes her own fingers into me and my knees go weak on either side of her body. Our eyes lock as we start to pump into each other.
“Faith…”
”Buffy…”
We start to thrust together in a perfect rhythm.
It’s like we’re thinking the same thoughts, feeling the same feelings. It’s like we’re pushing ourselves to each other’s limits and together we have a new limit. Together we go to a new place as we thrust into each other harder and faster. A new place neither of us has been before and a place we’ll come back to soon.
“Buffy…”
“Faith…”
Our eyes never leave each other’s gaze as the tension of what’s coming builds between us. We move as one together as we push each other to the brink of everything we’ve waited for all this time. We kiss once before the feeling between us overtakes us and we scream each other’s names.
“BUFFY!”
“FAITH!”
Everything inside me just shatters, like a shattered mirror. All that pain and fear I’ve been holding inside just pours out of me, until all that’s left is love. My love for her and the love I can see in her eyes for me as we look at each other, coming down off the earth shattering, mind blowing experience we’ve just been through. I lie down next to her, exhausted.
That’s saying a lot. I’ve done a lot of things, with a lot of people. It takes a lot for me to feel… like that, but that was… my god.
She holds me in her arms and I hold her too. I feel the warmth of her skin against mine and I’m just… safe.
There is no bad here. There is no fear, no pain or anger or hate of any kind. I don’t have to worry that tomorrow she’s gonna wake up and tell me that it was all a big mistake. Because all there is, is us. Me and her, Buffy and me… and our love.
I lick my fingers clean and she does the same, lying in each other’s arms on her bed, tasting each other’s love. We kiss and she pulls the covers over us. She brushes the hair out of my face.
“I love you Faith.”
I don’t say a word. She knows how I feel, and I know how she feels… even if she had never said the words, I would know.
I just hold her a little tighter and rest my head against her shoulder. I close my eyes and just, exist. I let myself just bask in the glow of everything we’ve ever wanted. Unconsciousness slips into my head and I let it happen. I fall asleep in the arms of the one I love.
My one and only.