A Malfoys MistakeBy Jinni
It's In The Telling
I have to tell them.
Now, for that matter.
Right now.
You see - I called them and told them where I was and now they're coming.
My new 'husband' thinks this is all very amusing, though I've noticed that when I mention his own friends and family he gets quite a bit paler.
So pale he could be mistaken for a very alive version of Spike.
But he's not a vampire. Nor is he Spike the chipped wonder. He's Draco Malfoy, a wizard. And, to hear him talk, a pretty good one at that. He keeps going on and on about his manor and his status. Is he some sort of wizarding royalty?
I don't have the heart to ask and admit that I don't have the slightest clue what in the name of the Goddess he is talking about, though I think he'll figure that out for himself eventually - like the next time he glances over and notices that I look confused.
Like now.
"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"
He's sorta sexy when he raises his eyebrows like that.
"Not a clue." I admit with a shrug. "Should I? Is there some sort of underground community I never got inducted into? Because, from where I'm sitting, you're making a lot of sense that sorta of the 'not' kind."
He's looking at me like I've grown a third head.
"Hogwarts? Diagon Alley? The Salem Institute? You've never heard of any of these places?"
Well, they sound very interesting, but - "Not a one, sorry."
"Where did you go to school, then?"
Now, I'm at the point where I know Xander and Buffy will be here any minute now. And I can't help but think that this is sort of pointless. Who cares where I went to school?
"Sunnydale High." OoOo. Is that -my- voice sounding all growly and evil? Go me! He doesn't seem all that impressed, though. Guess I haven't managed the truly evil look and sound yet. Give me time. He's on a fast track to being smacked with a whammy of a curse for that smug, annoying look on his face.
"You went to a Muggle school?"
"A what?" Color me confused why don't ya?
"Muggle? Meaning non-wizarding? You went to a normal school? Where they didn't teach charms or potions or anything?"
"There's other kinds?" Ouch. Way to go from angry and snippy to all disappointed sounding all in the blink of an eye. There was schools for magic? Like actual schools? Where I could have learned, you know, -stuff-?
"Yeah," He sighs, shaking his head. "There are schools of witchcraft and wizardry. And you didn't go to a single one of them. Mother is going to have a fit, after all."
"Be careful or I'll, you know, divorce you." I threaten, hoping the warning gets through to him. This attitude isn't very attractive. In fact, it's sort of putting me in an even worse mood.
When he starts laughing it totally throws me. I cross my arms, leaning back in my chair to give him a full dose of my best scowl - which doesn't seem to faze him in the slightest, as he just keeps right on laughing.
"You don't get it, do you?" He finally manages to get out, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "No matter how much I would like to get us both out of this horrific situation - we can't. Wizards. Marry. For. Life."
"Uh?" Damn. That wasn't a good comeback, though I'm not sure what -would- be a good comeback when faced with the knowledge that I am stuck with this arrogant son of a bitch for the rest of my life. Or, the rest of his life. Hey - "Guess I'll just have to kill you."
So I don't necessarily expect him to take my threat seriously, but when he starts laughing again, his handsome face wrinkling up with the expression, I feel a little put out. I mean - it -was- a death threat. Sort of. And I did make it against him. And he doesn't seem to give a rat's ass.
"You? Kill me?" He chortles. "Someone who hasn't had any formal training? At least I'll have an amusing married life."
Wait - so he's not laughing at the threat itself, just the idea that I could carry through with the threat. Now I know that he's never heard of me, no matter what circles he runs in.
"You have no clue who you've married, do you?" I whisper.
"I think the street's going both ways on that one, luv." He smirks, unaware of what kind of deep hole he's put himself in.
"Tell me, Mister Malfoy - do you remember hearing something a couple years ago about a California witch who went a little crazy. . . tried to end the world."
Ah ha!
Got his attention.
"Yes?" He's staring at me, wide eyed, as if the pieces are falling into place.
"Good. Saves me a lot of time if I don't have to remind you of that long, sordid thing. Can you guess who I am now, Draco -darling-?"
It's pretty neat how he can get even paler considering he's just this side of stark white to begin with. He's twirling his wand in his hand, and I can't tell if it's a nervous gesture or he's actually thinking of using it on me. He should know that I don't need a wand to hurt him. And, if he doesn't know that, he'll find out really quick if he tries anything.
"You are . . . her?"
"Correct in one, little man." I laugh. "Now - do you really want to piss me off?"
He shakes his head, and I think we've come to some sort of understanding. He doesn't seem nearly as cocky now. It's amazing how quickly people change their tunes when they realize they no longer have the upper hand. Little does he know he never had the upper hand to begin with. I almost feel sorry for him when he sighs and looks at the door.
"So - we're stuck like this you were saying? For life?"
He nods. "'Til death do us part is pretty literal where I'm from."
"I'm sorry. You probably had some dazzling girl back home waiting for you. Or, you know, someone better than me. This is all one big fuck up."
He glances sharply at me, an amused lift to the corner of his mouth. "I have no clue how we're going to make this work, but let's get one thing straight. Obviously there's something special about you, else we would never have ended up in this situation. Being drunk does not make me lose all common sense. And you are quite 'dazzling' all by yourself."
He's making me blush. Very nice of him, if you ask me. Handsome, sexy man making me blush. I think I could melt into a little pile of goo right here and now thanks to that brief, if not completely appreciated, comment.
Have I mentioned that my new husband is a complete and utter hottie? That little smirk he's doing with his lips right now? It's a twenty on a scale of one to ten. I think I'd like to remember kissing him last night, because those lips look delectable. What a shame I can't remember the sex. He has this confidence that just oozes being a sex god of some sort.
When my eyes travel from his mouth to his own, sparkling, orbs, I realize he's been staring at me this entire time. How long was I just looking at those lips and wishing that I could kiss them again? Long enough for him to notice, its apparent.
"You know," he drawls, sliding out of his chair and stalking towards me. There's no other word to describe it other than that - stalk. Like a hunter with his eyes on the prey. "We -are- married now. There are certain. . . things. . . that married people indulge in."
If I thought I was blushing hard before, I certainly am doing much better at it now. I can scarcely hear anything, the blood rushing to my head has created a roar in my ears and all I can think of are those lips as he leans over, bending down until our faces are only inches apart.
"What kind of. . . things?" My mouth is moving and sound is coming out, but I feel detached. Shut up and kiss him already, my brain is screaming at the same time I'm making semi-witty banter with him.
"Things like. . ."
And there's someone knocking on the door. Damn them!
That's when I remember that it is probably Xander and Buffy, come to see why I summoned them to a hotel room in a casino down the street from the one I was supposed to stay at last night. I stammer an apology to Draco and dart out of the chair, my body brushing against his. Before I've moved two steps he grabs my arm, pulling me flush against him. His silver eyes are boring into mine and all I can think is that at least we're attracted to each other. We won't be spending the rest of our lives celibate. His lips dance over mine in the briefest of kisses, just enough to wet my hunger for more, before he pushes me gently towards the door.
"Your friends." He reminds me with another quirk of his lips.
"Right. Friends." I repeat, just staring into those lovely eyes.
"The door?"
"Right!" This is me, snapping out of it. When I open the door Buffy immediately springs on me, crushing me with her Slayer strength.
"We were so worried, Wills! Where did you go last night? Last time Xander saw you, you were leaving with this hottie we met at the bar. . . And lookie there. He's sitting on the bed. A very disturbed bed. . . Wil-low. You got's some explaining to do."
"You don't know the half of it," I snort, gesturing for her to come in the door. Xander is right after her, treating me to his own version of a rib-cracking hug. He looks like he didn't sleep one wink last night. Damn. I feel really, really guilty. Xander is my bestest friend in the whole wide world and he stayed up worrying about me.
"Sorry, Xan." I murmured, leading him into the room. Draco is watching this with that same little amused smirk that I find so completely irresistible.
"So - what's going on, Wills?" Buffy finally asks, when the silence in the room has stretched too far for her tastes. I look from them to Draco and then back to them, unsure of what to say or how to say it. How does one tell their friends that they accidentally married a complete stranger the night before?
"Well, you see. . ." I begin, hands fumbling in my lap. Nothing seems comfortable right now. Not the bed under my ass or my hands in my lap. Especially not the man next to me who was doing such a good job of getting me wet and bothered before Buffy and Xander showed up. All I can think of in regards to Draco is that I want to jump him and engage in some marital bliss. But first there's this little problem of telling my friends.
"We're married."
Damnit, Draco. Not the way I wanted to tell them!
They looked shocked.
And then they laugh.
Why is it my day to get laughed at?
"Let me get this straight, Wills - you got drunk. . . wandered off with a hottie and then married him?"
"Yup."
Buffy cracks up, bending over to hide the tears of pure delighted amusement streaming down her face.
"This is just so. . . ." She shakes her head. "I can't believe it. I mean - this is something Xander would do!"
"Hey!" At least he's laughing as he sounds outraged. Always a good sign that they aren't pissed off or trying to kill Draco. Because, as you may have guessed by now, I'd like to keep Draco in one piece. I really was just kidding earlier with the death threat. He's much too fine of a male specimen to just kill off completely.
"So - what next? We need to get the divorce started, right?" Buffy says it so very casually and I hate to burst her bubble.
"Can't."
"Can't?" She questions, all humor gone from her eyes. "What do you mean 'can't'. Can't or won't?"
"Can. Not." Draco echoes. He sounds bored. Or annoyed. Its hard to tell with him. But that gleam in his eye has nothing to do with friendliness. He wants them out of here just as much as I do. Goodie! Husband boy wants to do the horizontal mambo with me. Bring it on, baby, bring it on. Hopefully this time I'll actually remember it!
"Why?"
"Because he's a wizard and they marry for life." I chime in. Draco smacks my arm lightly. "What? Is the marriage thing a secret?"
"No - but the wizarding part *was*."
"From my best friends? One of whom is the Slayer herself?"
The look he shoots Buffy is pure incredulity in action and I can see from the look on her face that she's trying not to laugh at him.
"The Slayer?"
"The one and only. So, you hurt Wills and I'll break every bone in your body, got it?"
"Yeah. Loud and clear." He sighs, shutting his eyes. "Do you think we could speed this up? I have my own acquaintances to inform of this new twist in my spectacularly action packed life."
"Anyway. . ." I sigh. "Draco isn't from around here. In the same way that Giles isn't from around here. And -"
"You're moving?" Xander says it before I can and I find myself nodding. "Sorry, Xan. I'd get out of this if I could, really."
He nods, smiling sadly. "S'ok, Wills. Some time away from the Hellmouth will do you good."
"Hellmouth?!?"
I can see that Draco and I are going to be having some really long talks about my life and times. Probably before we get back to the smoochies, even. What a shame. Smoochies could have done nothing but make my day better.
The Hellmouth opening under this casino and swallowing me whole could have done nothing but make my day better, for that matter. But that's another situation entirely.
An hour later they're gone and Draco and I are left staring at each other. He's learned a lot about me without ever asking the questions. Buffy and Xander get pretty loose in the lips at times. And we've come up with a plan of action. We go back to Sunnydale, pack up my stuff, and go to England, to Malfoy Manor. Buffy and Xander will come visit in a couple months.
It's a good plan.
So why do I feel so sad?
"Want me to kiss and make better?" Draco murmurs in my ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth without any prompting. That one touch makes me moan and, for the moment, I can forget about everything.
Right now there's just me, Draco, and this big bed.
Hooray for the big bed.