A Vamp Has To Do Who A Vamp Has To Do???

By Karen

Spike frowned at the two men that had apparently just fallen out of thin air, and spat, "Oh hell no, you 'ave got to be kiddin' me?" He spun on his heel and glared out into the darkness of the surrounding woods. "There was NO ONE else you could 'ave picked? Mike Myers, Bob Barker, the bloke that runs the hot dog stand on Main and only washes every couple 'o months?"
"SILENCE, VAMPIRE, THESE ARE YOUR CHOSEN."

Spike threw up his hands in disgust, "Well, for fuck's sake. How the 'ell am I meant to get it up when you give me two fat boys with stupid hair and one of them's fuckin' dead?"

Angel got to his feet, accepting with his usual calm, his sudden change in surroundings and processing Spike's outraged protest at the same time. "Hey!" His hand came up to check his decidedly crunchy hair. "My hair is NOT stupid. Cordelia says it's very now."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and St. Bloody Demon Knickers should know. Have you seen what's attached to the top of her head lately?"

Both vampires cut their eyes to the side, as the third figure staggered into view. Xander pushed a finger through his own dishevelled locks and said uneasily, "Get what up exactly?"

Angel narrowed his eyes, and met Spike's equally narrow gaze coming the other way. Their eyes stayed locked for a moment, and then moved to rest silently, and eloquently, on the crotch of Xander's pants. Xander frowned and followed their gazes, and for a moment all three were lost in silent contemplation of Xander's denim covered groin. Then the penny dropped with a spectacular crash.

"WHAT??! Oh no. No way!" Xander clamped both hands firmly to the front of his pants, and made a determined, if slightly hunched, run for it. Spike rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, tucking both hands under his armpits.

"Ten to one he's unconscious in the next ten seconds."

Angel tucked his hands into his pockets, and nodded, "You're on. I say just stunned." Both vampires focused on Xander, who managed another three steps before bouncing off thin air, and landing with a thump and a moan on the floor.

Spike uncrossed his arms and wandered over to the fallen Scoob, mildly annoyed that if anything serious happened to the pup the Slayer would kick his pale limey arse into the next century. He came to a halt by Xander's head, and grinned as he saw Xander was indeed unconscious, but had managed to retain a death grip on his genitals nonetheless.

"Can you believe this wanker saves the bloody world on a regular basis?"

Angel joined him and raised an eyebrow. "Dammit, I thought he'd just be a bit stunned."

Spike smirked, "You need to pay more attention, mate. Hit him on the back of the head, don't matter what with, the bloody whelp'll be skippin', around whistlin' a happy tune in under a minute. Smack to the front, and he's out like a light."

The smaller vampire rolled his shoulders under his duster and kicked irritably at the lush grass under his boot. "He'll be up and about in no time. Might be a good idea to get his skivvies off before he comes to, though."

Angel nodded in agreement, and then eyed Spike sharply. "Hang on, what did you win?"

Spike grinned, and bent to pull Xander's boots off. "I don't believe we agreed on an amount, Peaches. Let's say you bottom, and we'll call it even."

Angel glared down at his erstwhile grandchilde, and muttered, "I hate bottom."

Spike flung Xander's boot cheerfully over his shoulder, and remembered to duck just in time, as it bounced back off the energy barrier and narrowly missed his head.

Angel, however, was preoccupied with planning how to welch on the bet, and caught the heavy work boot square in the crotch. Spike paused in pulling off Xander's sock, and watched, grinning widely, as Angel folded and sank gracefully to the floor with an anguished squeak. With a chuckle, Spike tossed the sock behind him and leaned forward to unbuckle Xander's belt "You know, Peaches, this night might turn out to be alright after all. What do you think?"

Angel curled up tighter, and managed to open one eye to glare at Spike through tears of pain, "Fuck you, Spike."

Spike's grin widened, and he carolled joyfully, "Not tonight!"

************************

Xander came to several minutes later, to find himself lying in a pleasant woodland glade under a starry sky. He blinked up at the stars, and breathed in the fresh woodland night air, revelling in the fact that he appeared to be having an all too-scarce moment of peace. He slid his eyes from side to side without moving his head, mildly perturbed to find there seemed to be the mother of all headaches brewing in his head, but altogether relieved that nothing seemed to be trying to kill him.
'Peaceful woodland scene? Check. Lack of any otherworldly species running at me with a big, sharp weapon? Check and double check. Slightly chilly breeze whistling round my ass? Ummmm?? Check?'

Xander frowned. His hand came up from where it rested on the grass beside him, and he cautiously ran it over his hip. The frown deepened, and the hand moved with greater urgency down his thigh and then up and over his groin, to frantically paw at his stomach. With a strangled scream, Xander jack-knifed into a sitting position, and with eyes bulging, yelled, "SPIKE!!!!!!"

The vampire in question looked around from where he was neatly folding and piling his clothes. "Oh, you're awake then? About bloody time. Peaches, move your fat arse over here, and let's get this show on the road, some of us have unlives to lead you know."

Xander, his eyes in danger of popping right out of his head, scrabbled backwards on all fours, his naked glory flapping merrily in the breeze, as he watched Angel and Spike stand up and walk toward him, as naked as the day they were born. Made. Turned. Whatever. "Get the hell away from me!"

Angel reached out a placating hand towards the slightly hysterical Xander, and said soothingly, "Calm down, its not what you think."

Xander, unsurprisingly, remained unconvinced. "Oh yeah? What, we tripped and our clothes fell off? I don't think so. You want to have your evil ways with me."

Spike looked disgusted. "I do NOT! Believe me, whelp, the last thing on my mind tonight was watching your flabby, white arse shining in the poxy moonlight." He stopped and watched, torn between irritation and amusement, as Xander came up against the energy barrier surrounding them, and shoulder crawled up it until he was standing.

Angel smiled and tried to pass on the information he had gleaned from Spike whilst Xander had been comatose on the floor. He decided to hold off mentioning, that due to the potent virility vibes emanating from this particular place, Xander would soon find himself helping whether he wanted too or not.

"What Spike means to say, is that there's a new Big Bad come to town and, unfortunately, he needs our help to stop it."

"NAKED? He needs NAKED help?"

Angel opened his mouth to reply, and realised in time that whatever he was going to say wouldn't help the situation. He shrugged, "Yep."

Spike put his hands on his hips, and glared furiously between his companions, "'Ello? Not got all night here, people. Xander, I'm working freelance for the Powers That Be??.."

Xander interrupted, "Who?"

Angel waved a dismissing hand, "Big white hat, higher being hoo-ha's. They're big in LA."

Xander nodded none-the-wiser. "Oh."

Spike heaved an irritated sigh, incidentally making his chest and stomach muscles ripple interestingly in the moonlight, Xander couldn't help but notice. He hastily averted his gaze, and caught Angel also watching Spike with a look of great interest.

Spike sailed on, clueless to their sudden interest in his body. "Anyway, the point is, the PTB's contacted me and let me know there's a big demon rising due in Sunnydale anytime now, and it might be better for all concerned if that didn't happen.?"

He peered at Xander and Angel, who were both suddenly eyeing him as though he'd just been simultaneously dipped in chocolate and O-neg and wrapped in a pancake jacket. "Are you two paying attention?"

Angel jumped slightly, and focused his slightly glazed expression on the pissy one Spike was wearing, "Hmm, what? Oh yeah, go on."

He trailed off, and edged slightly to the side to get a better look at Spike's ass, shining marble bright in the light from the moon and stars.

Spike eyed him warily for a second, and then shrugged and turned back to Xander, only to find he'd shifted as well, and had joined Angel in a now blatant examination of said ass. Spike threw up his hands.

"Well, for fuck's sake. Just for the record, before we get to the shagging, we're doing this 'cos this is a sacred place, and the PTB's need a high level of male essence released to counteract the rising of a lot of she-demons in town, alright? Short of slitting Xander open with a carving knife and bleedin' him dry, this was the only other way."

He crashed to the floor as Angel and Xander leapt on him at the same moment, and yelled, just before Angel stuck his tongue down his throat, "And Angel's on the bottom!"

Xander moaned, as he trailed his tongue excitedly slowly along Spike's thigh, and tasted the sharp, clean taste of a vamp that had recently rolled in fresh spring grass. The vampire's skin was cooler than he'd expected, but he found it an interesting change from Anya's overheated flesh, and the texture was a revelation. Where Anya was soft and velvety smooth, Spike was firm and seemed to be smooth and slightly rough at the same time.

Xander dragged his tongue up to the crease between balls and thigh, and dipped into the fold of flesh, drawing a happy moan from the vampire beneath him. The human boy grinned, and shifted slightly to bring his warm lips into contact with the side of Spike's sac, and then darted out his hot tongue to lick firmly from underneath and straight over the firm shapes to Spike's shaft, which stood pale and proud in the moonlight.

Xander hesitated for just a moment, and then Spike moaned hungrily, and he plunged his mouth down over the other's cock, and wrapped his tongue around the cool, throbbing flesh.

Spike's head flew back, and he stared sightlessly at the sky, as the boy's white-hot mouth went to work on him. The heat was incredible. Not even with the Slayer had things been this intense. He moaned as Angel, not the least bothered that he had lost his claim on Spike's lips, trailed his cool mouth down the pleasure-hazed vampire's neck, and captured a flat, pebbled nipple between his teeth.

Spike writhed as he was caught between two extreme sensations. The heat of Xander at his cock, and the cool of Angel sucking and biting at his chest, were driving him insensible, and his body felt as though it were going to melt and explode all at the same time.

Angel worried at Spike's nipples, and let his hands roam where they wanted over the lean body beneath him. The skin under his hands felt like steel sheathed in velvet, and he revelled in the hot musky taste his and Xander's ministrations were unleashing.

He jumped as he felt a hot hand snake up his leg from behind, and then moaned as a damp finger began to lightly trace the shape of his puckered anus. He spread his legs slightly to allow Xander easier access, and then bit down on Spike in reaction, as the other vampire lifted a hand and began to slowly pump Angel's large shaft. He pushed firmly into the strong hand holding him, and was rewarded with a brief clench of Spike's fingers before the hand resumed its slow pumping motion.

Xander began to push lightly at Angel's tight opening with his finger, and then gradually worked his finger inside. Angel bucked forward as he felt the finger slip slowly into him, and his game face slipped out to allow him to sink his fangs into Spike's chest with a growl.

Spike threw back his head and howled, as he felt the sharp, sweet pain of his flesh being broken, and then his eyes glazed as Angel began to suck in earnest in time with Xander at his cock. He felt in his hand the cool weight of Angel's dick that was slowly swelling to impossible proportions and the incredible heat of Xander's mouth convinced him he wasn't going to last much longer. Spike withdrew his hand, and pushed at Angel's shoulder. "On your hands and knees, Peaches."

Angel raised his head, and just for a moment his eyes glowed a fierce gold at the order from Spike, and then he moved away from Xander's touch and swung round, to present his ass to Spike's admiring gaze.

Xander knelt upright to watch as Spike leaned down and traced his tongue over Angel's opening, and began to stroke it inside the other man as far as he could.

Angel eyed the bobbing dick a scant few inches away from his nose, and was unable to resist stretching his neck out and licking the tip with his tongue.

Xander hissed at the cool touch, and looked down to meet Angel's eyes. With a wicked grin he took a firm hold of Angel's head, and pushed the tip of himself at the vampire's willing mouth. "I always knew that there'd be payback, you son of a bitch."

He thrust forward roughly, and Angel gave a strangled moan as Xander hit the back of his throat. The boy pulled out and then, meeting Spike's eye, paused for a minute, only to slam back inside just as Spike parted Angel's cheeks and rammed his cock deep into Angel's backside.

Angel howled around Xander's shaft, as he felt Spike's cock, lubricated with the vampire's own blood that Angel had drawn moments before, go to work on his tight hole.

Xander kept hold of the dark head and matched his strokes to those of Spike, who rammed himself between the two pale, muscular cheeks.

The last resistance in Angel's muscles faded, and he howled again as Spike pushed forward as far as he could go, and brushed over the little raised nub inside that set off fireworks in his head.

Spike gasped as Angel's inner walls began to squeeze around him, and brought a hand sharply down on Angel's flank to try and bring himself under control. Angel bucked at the sudden sting, and both Xander and Spike cried out as their respective members were sucked and squeezed with frantic reaction.

Spike looked at Xander, and saw from the look on the boy's face that he wouldn't be able to last much longer. He raised his hand, and brought it down again with a sharp slap, hissing as Angel bucked again. "Now. Bring yourself off, now."

Angel shifted his weight to one hand, tilting his ass to give Spike unrestricted access, and brought his hand to his cock. Spike moaned as he slammed into Angel's ass, bringing his hand down time and time again on the glowing red cheek beneath him, to bring the bucks and squeezes that were driving him insane.

Xander took a firmer hold on Angel's head, and as the dark-haired demon began to buck and moan at the beginning of his own release, thrust wildly into the cool, wet mouth, taking full advantage of the twitching, thrashing tongue trapped under his cock.

Angel was lost in ecstasy as he was pounded relentlessly from both ends, and his hand stroked frantically at his raging erection. His ass was on fire; not only from Spike banging hard against his gland inside, but also from the relentless spanking he was taking from the younger vampire.

He froze, as heat exploded in his groin, and then he screamed around Xander slamming into his mouth as he came over the grass beneath him in a torrent of white-hot desire.

Spike threw back his head and howled at the moon, as the frenzied clenching of Angel's inner muscles signalled the beginning of his own powerful climax, and he crushed his groin to Angel's flattened cheeks, desperately trying to cram as much of his cock that he could inside the other demon.

Xander felt the tremors start in his thighs, and writhed helplessly against Angel's lips and face, as his own climax overtook him and left him helpless against everything but the feelings crashing through his body. He bucked against Angel's face, uncaring that he was crushing the vampire's mouth and face in his delirium, just wanting to milk every last sensation out of the helpless mouth beneath him.

Finally, the three were spent, and with quiet moans and breathless gasps for air (Xander), they separated from each other and sank in a tangled, exhausted mass on the ground.

Spike lay nearest the borders of the energy barrier, and groped weakly beside him on the ground for a moment before snatching up a small pebble, and throwing it with a trembling arm at the invisible wall. He raised his head long enough to watch it go sailing through harmlessly, before allowing his head to fall back on the soft grass and say hoarsely, "All clear. The high and mighty ones 'ave dropped the wall. You're free to go, kiddies."

Xander shut his eyes, and his head fell bonelessly to one side. "You might need to give me minute here, fangless."

Spike snorted derisively, "Humans."

Xander opened his mouth to reply, and then shut it again as he realised it was just way too much effort.

Angel raised his head from where it rested, face down on the grass. "I don't think the Powers thought how I'd be getting home when they brought me here. I'm going to need a lift back to LA."

Spike grinned to himself for a moment, and then rearranged his face in a sneer as he turned to meet Angel"s eyes. "Getting a bit above ourselves, aren't we Peaches?" He waited a beat. "You weren't that good!"

~Fin~