His Eyes

By Ten

For Kai ...


They are an impossible shade of blue
Almost crystalline
As if reflecting summer sky
Though they've not seen daylight
For nearly 150 years

It's five years since I became lost to them
Five years since they were filled with seething hatred
Five years in which they changed from cocky to calculated
From disturbed to pathetic
From passion to love

Cerulean blue that echoes his love
His love for me
His love for this odd life he's had
He was a killer, then he wasn't
There is no sense to it

Sometimes they flash with gold indignation
Or annoyance or frustration or anger
For life's twists & turns
For me being foolish
For denying what I am
For denying what we are together

---

I love the life in them, particularly now
Even though there is no life in him
I see it there
Reflected in the frayed azure edges of that impossible blue
Desire, passion, fear, regret, uncertainty, excitement, love

I admire the courage
The determination
The eagerness in them
But the love I see in them is precious to me

Even now, when it's so close, they tell his story
There is exhilaration mixed with embarrassment
Embarrassment at this odd second death
A death that is for me more than the world

Now that our clasped hands burn with the flame of victory
Over the evil that tried to consume us all
Over the love I tried to deny
Over his struggle to be worthy,
I finally realize

He knew it all along
Though it is his turn to deny it
He is betrayed by them now
As his eyes burn him into my heart for all eternity

 

~Fin~