The Offering

By SpikedLuv

Chapter One

Xander trudged through the dark night of Sunnydale, slightly dispirited. They had been researching late in the library for any information they could find out about Spike—just as they had been doing the last couple of nights—but to no avail. Giles wanted to learn as much as he could about the blond vampire so they were prepared for whatever he might throw at them next.

They’d escaped Parent-Teacher Night relatively unscathed, but Giles was certain they hadn’t seen the last of Spike, especially since they’d heard rumors that he had killed the Anointed One and taken over the remnants of the Master’s court. Xander was more worried about his own neck, though he’d been too embarrassed to mention Angel’s brilliant ‘plan’ to anyone.

He snorted to himself. And Angel hadn’t been much help at all. Not only had he been the one to offer Xander’s neck to the blond vampire to munch on, he’d had very little information to impart about Spike. He claimed that he hadn’t seen the other vampire in nearly 96 years, but Xander thought he was hiding something. Of course, it could just be that he didn’t trust the dark vampire as far as he could throw him, which wasn’t very far at all.

So, after yet another unproductive night of research, Buffy and Angel had gone on patrol, and Xander walked Willow home before heading to his own house. As he started up the walk to the front porch, he froze. Moonlight glinted off the bleached-blond hair of the vampire sitting on the steps. He was wearing all black—jeans, t-shirt, boots, and duster—broken only by the red button-down shirt, and casually leaning back on his elbows, a cigarette dangling between the fingers of one hand. Xander’s breath caught, and his heart pounded in his chest. He simultaneously reached into his jacket pocket and took an alarmed step back.

“Running won’t change nothin’,” the vampire drawled easily, taking a deep drag off the cigarette, and then pinching it out before throwing it away. “‘Cept piss me off that I had to chase you down. Then again...” He paused, smirked. “I do so enjoy a good chase. Makes the blood taste sweeter.” He ran his eyes over Xander. “Go ahead, run.”

Xander swallowed hard and forced himself not to run. “What do you want?” he asked, barely able to speak through a throat nearly closed shut with fear, as he wrapped his fingers around the stake.

“I want what’s mine,” Spike said, rising gracefully from the step.

“Wh-what’s that supposed to mean?” Xander asked, taking a second nervous step backwards.

Spike looked him over obviously, another smirk curving his lips, his tongue running over his teeth suggestively and then peeking between curled lips as he took a step towards him.

“Oh, no!” Xander said, backpedaling as he fumbled with the stake, finally managing to pull it out of his pocket after untangling it from the material. He didn’t know exactly what Spike was implying, but he knew it couldn’t be good.

Before he realized what was happening, Spike was standing right in front of him. The blond grasped his wrist and effortlessly disarmed him. Spike examined the stake and then tossed it over his shoulder.

“Careful,” he mocked. “You could get hurt with that.”

Xander tugged at his wrist in a futile attempt to get away from the vampire. “Let go!” he said, his voice rising in panic. “I’m not yours!” he cried, trying to sound forceful, but instead sounding pitifully weak. Damn Angel!

“Bollocks,” Spike said. “Gift from my sire, you were.” He looked Xander over again, and there was no mistaking the heat in his gaze, the intent. “I’m accepting.”

Xander’s eyes grew wide with understanding and he looked around wildly for anything that could help him.

“Go ahead, scream,” Spike hissed. “I’m feeling a might peckish.” He smirked as Xander blanched at the thought of someone running to his rescue—not that anyone would in Sunnydale—and being killed for their efforts.

“Why are you doing this?” he squeaked, his voice tremulous with fright. If by some chance he survived this, he was going to kill Angel.

“Told you,” Spike snarled. “Just coming to collect what’s mine.” He closed his fingers in Xander’s hair and pulled, tilting his head back.

“No,” Xander moaned in terror as Spike morphed and lowered his head. He pushed against the vampire’s chest, but his whole body was shaking, and it was like trying to move a brick wall.

“You done playing yet?” Spike asked, cool breath tickling Xander’s neck. His voice sounded funny around his fangs, but Xander was certain he was being mocked again.

“No!” he cried, desperation fueling his attempts to free himself as he hit and kicked at the vampire.

“Enough,” Spike growled, forcefully shoving Xander back into the shadows and pressing him against a tree. He lowered his face to Xander’s neck and sniffed him.

Xander was too scared to wonder what Spike was doing. He knew he was going to die. His life passed before his eyes as he felt the rough rasp of the vampire’s tongue laving his throat, and then the sting as sharp fangs tenderly grazed his skin before sinking in. He wished he’d had a chance to say goodbye to Willow. He wished he’d had a chance to stake Angel for offering his neck to Spike in the first place.

***

Spike let go of Xander’s wrist and wrapped his arm around the boy, pulling him close and pressing their bodies together. He drew on his blood slowly, savoring the taste of it as it flowed over his tongue. His original plan had been to tear the boy’s throat out, drain him and leave his lifeless body for Angelus and the Slayer to find. A message. A warning.

A promise.

Suddenly he wasn’t so sure he wanted to eliminate the source of the blood he was currently enjoying. The scent of the boy’s fear had been tantalizing him, teasing him since the night Angelus presented his neck in offering, and the heady aroma once more filling his nostrils made him hard. That was unexpected. Even more surprising was the glorious taste of Xander’s blood. It now occurred to him that it would be smart to keep the boy around for a while.

With Xander alive, he’d have a ready source of the rich, delicious ambrosia flowing through the boy’s veins, and still be able to prick Angelus’ pride. No matter how he tried, Xander wouldn’t be able to keep Spike’s bite hidden from the dark vampire, and the look on Angelus’ face when he realized Spike had tasted the boy would be priceless. He just wished he could be there to see it.

Spike reluctantly withdrew his fangs from Xander’s neck and licked the bite until it stopped bleeding. The intoxicating scent of fear was now combined with the unanticipated and powerful perfume of arousal. Spike breathed deeply, pulling the potent, stimulating odors into his body as he ground his pelvis against Xander’s. Oh, yeah, he thought. Leaving the boy alive was a bloody brilliant idea.

Letting go of Xander, he stood back, making sure the boy was able to support himself against the tree. He let the demon slide away, and tenderly rubbed his thumb over Xander’s lips. Lips he hadn’t tasted yet, but thought he might one night soon. Xander stared back at him through glazed eyes.

“I’ll be back,” he whispered, and then turned and disappeared into the night. He adjusted his erection in his tight jeans and set off to find a nice spot of violence.

***

Xander fidgeted nervously, unable to keep his attention on the book that lay open in front of him. He was supposed to be reading it for any information he could find on Spike, but he couldn’t concentrate, and the words swam before his eyes. Unfortunately, he already knew more about the blond vampire than he wanted to. And a little bit more about himself.

He’d been scared spitless the night before, but that was no surprise. Xander might not be the bravest person, but Spike was enough to frighten the most courageous individual. Except maybe Buffy. What did surprise him was the fact that he’d been left alive. And his reaction to the vampire’s bite.

He couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened. He wondered why the blond vampire hadn’t drained him. He wondered what his body’s reaction meant. And he wondered what Spike intended to do next, as his parting words spun through his mind like a whirlpool that threatened to pull him under. ‘I’ll be back’. When? Why? he wondered fearfully, less worried about whether the vampire would kill him this time than how his body might once again betray him.

Once the initial pain of Spike’s fangs sliding into his neck passed, Xander had begun to enjoy the feel of the blood being drawn out of his body. Terror had evaporated to be replaced by...longing. God, he was a sick, sick boy! The stupid vampire had been feeding off him, and Xander had gotten a boner from it! While it was true that he was a teenage boy and nearly every other thought had to do with sex, it was inconceivable to him that he’d gotten aroused from a vampire bite.

His limbs had been weak from blood loss and lust when Spike pulled out of him—fangs! Pulled his fangs out of him!—but he still remembered the feel of the vampire’s tongue bathing his throat, his groin pressing into his. Spike had been hard, too. Xander shivered with disgust at himself, and the unwelcome sliver of desire.

“Xander, is something wrong?” Giles’ voice broke into his reverie.

“Huh? What? No! Nothing’s wrong! What could be wrong?” he babbled nervously, his fingers automatically going to the turtleneck he’d dug out of the bottom of one of his drawers that morning, making sure it still covered the bite. He’d luckily remembered getting one for Christmas several years ago from his grandmother, and was thankful that it hadn’t been given to Goodwill.

“Is that book boring you?” Giles asked facetiously.

“Uh, no. Sorry,” Xander said. “I’m just having a little trouble concentrating. Got stuff on my mind.” He tried to keep his voice low and didn’t turn to look at Willow who was sitting behind the computer on the counter.

Giles closed his book and leaned across the table. “It may not seem like it, but I do understand that you children have lives outside of helping Buffy with her slaying duties. If you have something you need to do—homework, family commitments—you needn’t feel obligated to stay. You’re certainly at liberty to leave,” he offered.

Xander’s heart started to pound as his chest clenched tight with anxiety. “No!” he cried, and then looked around furtively to make sure Willow hadn’t heard his outburst. “I mean, I don’t want to leave. I don’t need to leave.” The last thing he wanted was to be out alone after dark. “I just...I just needed to think,” he finished lamely. “And I’m done...thinking. I’ll just...”

“No sign of him,” Buffy announced as she entered the library, pushing the double doors open ahead of her with enough strength to send them slamming against their hinges. Xander looked up, thankful for the interruption until he saw Angel follow her into the library. Angel, who had offered him to Spike on Parent-Teacher Night. Angel, who he hated with a fiery passion because he was a vampire and because Buffy loved him.

His fingers clutched the forgotten book, only loosening when his grip caused a small tear in the top page. He looked down at it, and then back up guilty. Thankfully, Giles was busy questioning Buffy about patrol and hadn’t heard or seen the desecration of one of his precious tomes. Xander quickly smoothed the page and closed the book, setting it on the table and turning his attention to Buffy’s report. It would behoove him to know where Spike might have been spotted.

While Buffy spoke, Willow moved over to the table and Angel prowled the library. When her account wound down, Xander noticed the dark vampire hovering over him. “What are you doing?” he asked acerbically.

Angel sniffed the air. “I smell something...” He broke off and sniffed again. “...familiar.”

Xander paled. He could actually feel the blood drain from his face and neck. It wasn’t possible, he thought. His breathing became labored, his heart hammered in his chest, his body was enveloped in a cold sweat, his hands shook. He tried not to look at Angel, but the weight of the dark vampire’s gaze was too much to resist. Xander lifted his head and turned his face until their eyes met.

Angel’s brow was furrowed as he studied Xander. He slowly reached his hand out for the turtleneck at Xander’s throat. Xander shoved his chair back and jumped to his feet. “Don’t touch me, you freak!” he yelled.

“Xander,” Giles reprimanded him, unaware of what was going on between the two of them.

Before Xander could take another step away from the table, away from Angel, the vampire had his large hand wrapped around Xander’s wrist, and a bizarre sense of deja vu suffused him. He watched as if in a dream as Angel’s other hand moved to his neck and pulled the turtleneck away from his throat. Gasps filled the room as the two puncture wounds were exposed, and Xander slammed back into his body.

“Let go of me,” he snarled, pulling his wrist out of Angel’s suddenly slack hold.

“Spike,” the dark vampire growled.

“Spike bit you?” Willow cried. “When? How? Why?”

“I’ll kill him,” Buffy said, her voice low and dangerous.

“Xander, are you all right? Why didn’t you say something?” Giles asked in concern.

But Xander wasn’t paying any attention to them. He stared at Angel with all the hatred and fear in his young body. “This is *your* fault!” he charged. “You gave me to him! You fucking offered me to him like a...a present.” Xander paused, breathless. “And he’s decided to accept.”

He felt tears sting his eyes, and fought to keep them back. He was not going to cry. Not in front of his friends. Not in front of Angel.

“What are you talking about?” Buffy asked.

“I’m sorry,” Angel said. “I had no idea he’d...”

“Xander, can you tell us what happened?” Giles asked, slipping his arm around Xander’s shoulders. Xander started. He hadn’t noticed Giles moving around the table. He pulled away, blinking furiously.

“Don’t... I can’t...”

“All right,” Giles said, holding his hands up, palms facing outward. “Why don’t you sit down? Would you like some water?” he asked, his voice soothing, comforting.

Willow jumped up to get him some water without waiting for his answer. Xander walked around the table and sat stiffly in a chair as far away from Angel as he could get. When Willow placed the paper cup in front of him, Xander automatically reached for it and took a sip.

“Can you tell us what happened?” Giles asked.

Everyone was silent as they waited for Xander to tell his story. The only sound was the ‘smack, smack’ as Buffy tossed her stake from hand to hand. Willow sat in the chair beside him, her hands clasped tightly on the table to keep from reaching for him. Giles sat across from him; Angel and Buffy remained standing.

Xander took a deep breath and told his story, only leaving out the bit about the bite arousing both him and the blond vampire. When he was finished, he continued to stare at the table.

“I’m so sorry, Xander,” Giles said when he was finished. “I should never have let either of you walk home alone. I knew Spike was out there, knew he was dangerous...”

“It’s not your fault, Giles,” Xander said, his voice cracking from a combination of unshed tears, dark thoughts, and heavy emotions.

Giles stood suddenly and walked away from the table. He took his glasses off and rubbed them furiously with the handkerchief he pulled from his pocket. When he turned back, the glasses were back in place and his emotions were once again under control.

“None of you will be out alone after dark again,” he stated firmly. “I’ll give you both a ride home tonight.” No one argued with him.

Chapter Two

For the next week and a half, Xander was never left alone after dark. If Giles wasn’t available to drive him and Willow home, either Buffy or Angel, and often both, walked them home. It turned out, however, that Spike wasn’t the only problem they had to worry about on the Hellmouth. On the Friday ten days after Spike bit him—not that he was counting—Buffy came across the remains of a power circle while on patrol.

After Buffy reported the circle to Giles, he gathered Xander and Willow up and drove them home before heading over to the park so he could take a look at the circle himself. He was practically humming with excitement as he talked to himself about what this could possibly mean, and what volume of what text might contain clues to the purpose of the circle. They dropped Willow off first, and then Giles took Xander home. In his excitement to see the circle and begin researching it, he didn’t stay to see Xander into the house.

Xander watched Giles drive away and then turned up the walkway. He froze when he heard a sound from beneath the trees. His heart was pounding so loudly in his ears he was sure everyone on the block could hear it. He watched the shadows closely, his fingers clutching the stake in his jacket pocket. When nothing jumped out at him, he turned back towards the house, letting out a little shriek when he saw Spike standing in front of him, hands in his duster pockets, head tilted to the side.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" he asked, taking an automatic step backwards.

Spike smiled, and it reminded Xander of the way Tommy Corso used to smile just before he ripped the wings off flies. "Told you I’d be back, pet," he drawled. "Miss me?"

"No!" Xander yelped, frantically shaking his head ‘no’, even as his body thrilled at the sight of the blond vampire.

"Been dreamin’ ‘bout me, sweet boy?" Spike asked with a knowing smirk as he took a predatory step towards him.

"N-no," Xander squeaked, stumbling back a step.

"That right?" he asked, running his eyes up and down Xander’s body. "Haven’t thought ‘bout me at all? No wet dreams, then?"

Heat suffused Xander’s body and he felt lightheaded as blood drained from his head and rushed to the surface of his skin. There was no way Spike could know about the dreams, he thought. No way he could know that every night since That Night Xander would lie awake remembering. Remembering his reaction to Spike’s bite, to the vampire’s groin rubbing against his, their erections pressing together. No way he could know that Xander woke up nearly every morning with semen cooling on his stomach as his insides knotted with disgust at his behavior.

"Leave me alone," he pleaded hoarsely. He’d given his reaction to Spike, That Night and nearly every night thereafter, a great deal of thought over the last week and a half. He’d come to the conclusion that he might possibly be attracted to the confidence Spike exuded, and maybe the excitement of the bad-boy image and the danger he represented, but assured himself that he was not attracted to Spike himself.

For one thing, he was a vampire. An undead, bloodsucking fiend. For another, he was male, and Xander was not attracted to men. Until now. So it *had* to be the confident-bad-boy-danger thing, of that, Xander was certain.

"Can’t do that, pet," Spike said, taking another step forward.

Xander wanted to run, but his feet seemed bolted to the cement. "Why?" he asked plaintively, the hand holding the stake trembling. He’d given himself a good talking-to just that morning, and though he knew he should be firm on the one hand, and making tracks for the house on the other, he couldn’t force himself to do either.

Spike just stared at him, as if he was considering what to say. "Lotsa reasons," he finally said. "Was just gonna kill you," he added. "Leave you for the Slayer to find. For Angelus."

"And n-n-now?" Xander asked, fear spiking through him at the vampire’s casual dismissal of his life.

Spike lowered his head, and then looked up at him through long lashes, and flashed him a grin. "Now," he said, "think I’m gonna keep you around for a bit."

Xander started to hyperventilate. "Wh-wh-why?" he asked. "N-not that I don’t think that’s a good idea," he quickly added. "Th-the keeping of me...a-alive, that is. Not that I want *you* to keep me... Eep!" he squealed as Spike suddenly grabbed him by the biceps, and easily lifted him off his feet and carried him into the shadows.

"P-p-put me down," Xander demanded, or tried to demand through the nervous stutter. He was surprised when Spike actually complied, until he realized that they’d arrived at the spot where Spike was bringing him in the first place. Xander immediately found both arms shoved behind his back, his wrists gripped tightly in one of Spike’s hands.

Spike took a step nearer to him, bringing their bodies together. Xander tried to shift away from him, but only managed to wedge himself more tightly between Spike and the tree behind him as Spike’s body sinuously followed his own body’s attempts to escape. When there was no more room to maneuver, Spike moved even closer, trapping him firmly against the tree, and began to undulate against him, their groins and chests sliding together.

"No," Xander whimpered. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want Spike to touch him, not because the thought horrified him, but because he was afraid of his body’s traitorous reaction. And that did horrify him. "Please, no."

Spike ignored him, curled his fingers in his hair, and tilted his head to the right. Xander felt a frightening sense of deja vu as Spike began to sniff and lick the suddenly too-sensitive skin of his neck. "No," he moaned. "No, stop, please..."

Spike’s mouth began to move up his neck to his ear as their bodies rubbed together. Xander bucked, trying to shove Spike away from him. "Oh, yeah," Spike groaned in his ear, cool breath tickling him. "Do that again, pet."

"No!" Xander cried, starting to struggle in earnest. "Let me go, you undead...thing, you!"

***

Spike dragged his tongue along Xander’s jaw. The boy tasted so bloody good, and he smelled delicious. He’d been in a near-constant state of arousal since he last sampled Xander’s blood ten days ago—not that he was counting—and neither shaggin’ Dru nor putting his plan to become Master of Sunnydale into motion had been enough to relieve his desire for the boy.

He’d been frustrated that Xander had been kept away from him for ten long nights; he yearned to renew the bite, taste him again. When the Watcher drove away before the boy had gotten into the house, he’d nearly howled his delight. He’d immediately grown hard with anticipation, and the way Xander was squirming against him now, he wasn’t going to last much longer.

"You wound me, pet," Spike mocked, and then forcefully covered Xander’s lips with his own. The brunette stiffened and opened his mouth to scream. Spike took advantage and slipped his tongue inside. He explored every surface, reveling in the taste of him. Chocolate...and need. If possible, Spike got harder as the boy’s need fed his own. He kissed him hard, knowing he was probably bruising his mouth, and not caring.

By the time Spike pulled back, Xander was making little involuntary noises of pleasure deep in his throat, and his body had started to press back when Spike rubbed against him. "Oh, pet, you *are* a treasure, aren’t you?" he groaned into Xander’s ear before lowering his lips to his neck and licking the small scars, preparing the boy for his bite.

"No," Xander tried one more time to stop Spike, and then cried out with pain as the fangs sank into his skin. He cried out again as Spike began to pull on his blood, though not a cry of pain this time. Spike let go of his wrists, and both hands immediately grabbed for Spike, holding on to his duster for dear life as the draw of blood out of his body caused his knees to go weak. A tingle shot to his belly, and there was a tug on his groin.

Spike cupped Xander’s buttock and pulled him in close, grinding their bodies together harder, faster, as he drank the boy’s blood. The scent of Xander’s arousal perfumed the night air and drove him wild. He sucked, and humped, and clutched desperately at the boy as his own desire mounted until he was sure he would explode.

Xander’s ears were filled with the sound of his heart pounding in his chest, his blood pumping through his body, his breath rasping in his throat. The sound was deafening, and he thought he might pass out. And then Spike sucked on his neck one last time and everything fell silent. He stiffened, and opened his mouth to scream, then his body erupted and his mind splintered.

Spike quickly but carefully pulled his fangs out of Xander’s neck and covered his mouth, absorbing his cry of release. As the boy came, shuddering against him, Spike’s body tightened, and he roared his own climax into Xander’s mouth.

***

When Xander regained his senses he slowly lifted his head and looked around. He was on his knees beneath the tree, his body still trembling in the aftermath of his orgasm. And he was alone. His eyes burned with shame. He pressed them closed, but felt a tear slip out anyway and run down his cheek. How could he have let himself be caught by Spike again?

Worse yet, how could his body have betrayed him so thoroughly? Even now he ached for the vampire’s touch. He lifted a quivering hand to his neck and touched the bite. He moaned at the contact, and remembered Spike licking him after their orgasms. Licking him...and promising to return. Xander had managed to say one word, ‘no’. Another tear fell and his humiliation grew, because he knew it had been a lie. And he knew that Spike knew it also.

Xander staggered to his feet, and stumbled into the house and up to his room. He removed his clothes and threw them into the hamper, and then brushed his teeth. He could still taste blood in his mouth, could still feel the rough bark of the tree against his skin. He took a shower to bathe the semen off his belly, watching the water wash it away and wishing he could just as easily wash his mortification and embarrassment away. He climbed out of the shower and dried off, then forced himself to look in the mirror.

He looked the same. He wondered how you couldn’t tell by looking at him that he was different. Weak. Disgusting. Perverted. He’d gotten off on a vampire bite. He’d had wet dreams about said vampire for over a week. He was sick. He turned his head slowly and looked at the bite on his neck. There was no way he could hide it—and then his friends would know that he was a vile and repulsive thing.

Xander pulled on a pair of boxers, climbed into bed, and let tears of self-pity and fear wet his pillow as he cried himself to sleep. In the morning, he once more woke with dried semen on his belly. He took another shower, trying to make himself feel clean again, and then dressed. He passed the kitchen on his way out the door, the thought of food making his stomach rebel.

He walked slowly down the street. He’d thought very hard about what he had to do, but knowing it was the right thing didn’t make it any easier. He climbed the porch steps and rang the doorbell, then wiped wet palms on his pants. When the door opened to show Willow’s bright, cheerful face Xander nearly started crying again. As it was, he must have looked awful, because Willow stopped smiling and her happy expression turned to one of concern.

"Xander? What’s wrong?" she asked worriedly, reaching for him.

Xander grasped her hands. "You have to do me a favor," he said. "From now on, don’t invite me into your house, okay?" he asked desperately, though it wasn’t really a question.

"Xander, what..."

"Just *promise* me!" he said, shaking her arms. "Promise me you won’t trust me."

"Xander, you’re scaring me! What..."

Xander steeled himself for her reaction, and then turned his head and showed her the fresh bite. Willow pulled one hand free and reached out to touch his neck.

"Oh, Xander," she whispered sadly.

"Promise," he rasped. "I don’t know... I don’t want anything to happen to you, and I don’t know what Spike has planned, so, please, please, promise me."

"I promise, Xander, I promise! Oh, God, come in here!" she cried, and pulled him into the house.

"Willow, that was dangerous," he rebuked her brokenly through his tears.

"It’s daylight, Xander," Willow reminded him. "Now come here and sit down. Tell me what happened." Willow led him to the living room and they sat on the couch. She held his hands while Xander haltingly told her how Spike had waylaid him outside his house the night before, after Giles dropped him off.

"We can’t tell Giles," he said. "He’s already upset, he’d never forgive himself if he knew..."

"We have to tell him something," Willow said, examining his neck more closely. "Unless we go shopping and buy you a bunch of turtlenecks, he’s gonna see the bite."

"Maybe it’ll be healed by Monday," Xander said hopefully.

Willow didn’t look convinced. "Maybe," she said. "We should tell someone," she worried.

Xander hesitated. "There’s more," he said, barely able to get the words out.

"What?" Willow asked, her brow furrowing.

He closed his eyes and opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t tell her. Not with her sitting right there, holding his hands. He stood up and walked across the room, nervously running his fingers through his hair. He leaned his forehead against the window and stood looking out at the street where kids were riding their bikes and fathers were mowing their lawns. Just another day on the Hellmouth.

"It’s embarrassing," he said, his breath creating fog on the window that immediately evaporated. "I’m so...a-ashamed."

"Xander, I love you," Willow said, and he could hear the tears in her voice. "You can tell me anything."

"Th-the first time he bit me," Xander began, still staring out the window, afraid that if he looked at her he wouldn’t be able to speak, "it, uh, well, made me hard. The bite did. After that I had dreams about him biting me. You know, wet dreams," he said quickly. "And last night, when he bit me, I, uh, he made me... I had an orgasm," he admitted in a strangled whisper.

"You did?" Willow squeaked. "Just from the bite?" she asked in disbelief.

"Well," he said thoughtfully. "There was some...rubbing...but mostly from the bite."

"I-it didn’t hurt?" she asked.

"At first," Xander said. "It hurt at first, and then it...didn’t." His voice broke, and he looked down at the floor, miserable. "Do you hate me?"

"No! Xander, I don’t hate you!" Willow stood up and rushed around the couch. "Why would you think I’d hate you?"

"Because I’m sick a-and disgusting," he said, and could no longer hold the tears back. "Don’t tell anybody, please don’t tell anybody," he sobbed as Willow pulled him into her arms, the tears streaming down his face and wetting her shirt as he buried his face against her shoulder. "I couldn’t bear it if..."

"I won’t, Xander," she promised. "I won’t. I love you. It’ll be all right. We’ll make it all right."

Xander didn’t reply as she soothed him, letting her think that he believed her. But he knew better. Nothing would ever be all right again.

Chapter Three

Spike woke just as the sun was going down. Dru, still weak, was swaying in front of her dolls, talking to them in a hushed voice. "...pretty puppy. Shhh, mustn’t tell anyone, yet. It’s a secret..."

"Dru, luv, what are you going on about now?" he asked as he rolled over in the large bed he’d inherited when he killed the Annoying One.

She whirled around with a smile, her dress twirling about her legs. "Spike!" she cried. "You’re awake." She glided over to the bed and crawled onto it, laying on her back beside him, staring up at the ceiling. "The stars have told me a secret," she whispered conspiratorially.

"They have?" he asked indulgently.

"Oh, yes," she said with a smile. "It’s a lovely secret."

"About a puppy?" Spike asked, remembering what he’d heard Dru say after he’d awakened.

"A pretty puppy," Dru giggled. "With brown hair, and beautiful brown eyes."

Spike frowned. "Don’t you mean brown *fur*?" he asked.

Dru tilted her head consideringly, then smiled. "No," she said. She clambered to her knees. "Can we go hunting tonight?" she begged.

"You’re still weak," Spike said, running his hand down her arm.

"I feel much better after the spell," she said. "I need to get out of here." She waved her arms, indicating the factory. "Can we go see Daddy?" she asked plaintively, in a sudden change of subject that Spike was all too used to.

"Daddy’s not here, exactly, Dru," Spike said soothingly.

"But I can feel him," she insisted.

"Remember the soul?" Spike asked softly.

"Nasty soul," Dru hissed. A tear ran down her cheek. "Took Daddy away from us. Can we kill it?" she asked hopefully.

"I don’t believe so, luv," Spike said sadly.

"Can we kill something else, then?" she asked. "I’m in the mood for...a pretty blonde." She smiled at Spike. "And then we can dance under the stars." She closed her eyes, tipped her head back, held her arms out to her sides, and swayed to music only she could hear.

Spike got up and dressed, then took Dru’s hand and led her out of the bedroom they shared. In the main room, Dalton was sitting at the large table, several books opened in front of him. Spike stopped beside him. "Any luck?" he asked, as he did every night.

"No, Master," Dalton replied, sliding his glasses back up his nose anxiously.

Spike slammed his fist angrily on the table, and then gritted his teeth to keep from taking his frustration out on the other vampire. It wasn’t Dalton’s fault that none of the books he’d managed to appropriate had contained the information they needed to heal Dru. Other than the spell he’d found, which would only give her a temporary respite, there had been no clues as to how they could harness the power of the Hellmouth to cure her ailment.

"Don’t worry, Spike," Drusilla cooed. She ran her hands over his back and leaned in to rub her face against his. "Everything is going to be perfect. The stars don’t lie."

"No, luv," Spike said, straightening and gently taking Dru into his arms. "I don’t s’pose they do." He silently wished he had as much faith in Dru’s stars as she did. "C’mon, now," he said as he slid his hand down her arm to her fragile-feeling wrist. "Let’s go find you a nice blonde to eat, eh, luv?"

"Oh, goodie!" Dru exclaimed happily, clapping her hands together like a child.

***

Xander was in Hell. He had to be, he thought, as he looked around them at the otherwise empty corridor in which they stood. After he told Willow about his second confrontation with Spike, the redhead had comforted him, and then insisted that they tell Buffy. Xander had balked. He didn’t want anyone else to know the extent of his reaction to the blond. Willow had assured him that he didn’t have to tell Buffy anything other than that Spike had bitten him again, but that they would need her help to protect him from the vampire.

After stomping her foot and angrily telling Xander that he could not just give up, Willow had finally worn him down and gotten his agreement. Instead of going to her house, Willow thought it would be easier to have Buffy come to them, so called her and invited her over. Buffy arrived much sooner than Xander would have liked, and he had to tell his story again. He ended it with his plea that she not invite him into her house again until this thing with Spike was over.

Buffy just stared at him for a long minute. "We have to tell Giles," she finally said.

"No!" Xander cried.

"Why not?" Buffy asked. "He’s my Watcher, Xander. He knows things. He can help us."

"I don’t want him to feel guilty," Xander said. "And you know he will," he added before Buffy could respond. "He’s already working on this...Spike-thing, he doesn’t need to hear that he failed to keep Spike away from me like he promised. And it might even keep him from being able to concentrate," he finished his babble, hoping it didn’t sound like he was spewing nonsense.

"Fine," Buffy huffed after a lengthy moment’s thought. "But we do need to tell Angel," she insisted.

Xander was filled with rage. "No," he ground out between clenched teeth.

"Xander..."

"No!" he repeated. "This is all his fault in the first place. He offered Spike my neck!" he yelled, his voice rising.

"Yes, he did a very stupid thing," Buffy agreed, "but we need his help to fix it. He’s a vampire, so he’ll know what Spike is thinking, feeling..."

Xander’s eyes widened and he blanched, but it went unnoticed by Buffy. He glanced fearfully at Willow who was staring at him with eyes just as wide.

"...what he’s playing at, what his plan for you is."

Xander knew exactly what the vampire’s original plan had been, because Spike had confessed it to him—tear out his throat and leave his body for Buffy and Angel to find. But that plan had changed once Spike had tasted his blood, and though he didn’t know how long the blond would be interested in keeping him alive, he had no intention of ever letting Angel find out that there was a sexual element to his encounters with the other vampire.

So, now he stood in the hallway outside Angel’s apartment with Buffy and Willow, waiting for the vampire to wake up and answer his door. He knew it would be nearly impossible to keep any secrets from Angel, since the vampire had a nose like a hawk...or something like that. He’d be able to smell Xander’s fear, and would probably know that there was something Xander wasn’t telling him.

The door finally opened, and a drowsy Angel greeted them. "Buffy!" he said. "Is something wr—" He broke off and stared long and hard at Xander. "Spike," he spat.

Xander blushed and looked away from the dark vampire as tears of humiliation and self-loathing filled his eyes.

"Can we come in?" Buffy asked while Willow put her arm around Xander’s back and whispered soothing words of comfort to him.

"Of course," Angel said, stepping back to allow them to enter. "Please, come in."

After everyone was seated, Angel turned to Xander and asked, "What happened?"

Xander told his story a third time, again leaving out any mention of his sexual response to Spike. He concluded his recitation with the avowal that Giles would never know. When he was finished, Angel stared at him appraisingly.

"I can understand why you don’t want Giles to know," he finally spoke, "but if we’re not able to stop Spike quickly, we aren’t going to be able to keep his...fascination with you from him, because we won’t be able to explain why we’re guarding your house, for example, waiting for Spike to show up."

"G-guarding my house?" Xander asked.

"I’m sure you’ve already thought about what needs to be done," Angel said, looking at each of them in turn, "though you may not have put it into words. We need to step up our search for Spike, and protect you, Xander. Once we find where he’s staying and take him and his minions out, you’ll be safe, but until then, someone will need to watch over you."

"We could do sleep overs!" Willow suggested.

"That would get back to Giles, and he’d wonder why," Xander replied dully.

"Then we’ll come up with a reason," Buffy said. "We don’t even have to lie, just tell him that you’re frightened because of Spike’s demented attentions. Either way, consider yourself connected at the hip to one or both of us until Spike is out of the picture!"

"And just a couple weeks ago I’d have been salivating at the offer," Xander said, trying to inject some of his goofy humor into the situation.

"No salivating," Buffy admonished lightly. "You’ll ruin my new suede jacket."

"There is just...one problem," Angel spoke up.

"What’s that?" Buffy asked, and the three of them looked at him.

"The bite," he said.

The other three now turned to look at Xander.

"Turtlenecks," Buffy proposed.

"I thought about that, but Xander doesn’t normally wear turtlenecks," Willow said. "And the other bite was already healed. Giles might be suspicious if he sees Xander wearing turtlenecks again."

"What else can we do?" Buffy asked. "Keep him out of school for a couple days? Or just away from the library?"

"I, um, have a suggestion," Angel said, and the heads swivelled back in his direction. "I could help with the bite—help it heal, I mean," he offered.

"Great!" Buffy said. "Uh, how?"

"I’d need to, well, lick it," Angel finally got out, obviously embarrassed.

Three jaws dropped open. "L-lick it?" Xander stammered.

"Yeah, it’s...vampire saliva... You probably don’t need to know the specifics, but there are...well, healing properties," Angel stammered.

Xander’s mind was racing, but he couldn’t pin down a single thought. He couldn’t let Angel lick the bite. First of all, the thought of Angel licking him was just...euww! Secondly, just touching the bite made him hard, he hated to think what the rasp of the dark vampire’s tongue would do.

"No, I...I don’t think...," he began.

Buffy’s face crinkled up. "Okay, well, that’s kind of...weird," she said. "But I don’t see any other options. The bite isn’t going to heal by Monday, we’ve already determined that you can’t wear turtlenecks until it heals, and if you stop coming around suddenly, Giles might get suspicious."

Xander dragged his eyes from Buffy’s face to Angel’s, and the vampire’s expression suddenly changed.

"Maybe it would be better if we..." He pointed towards the bedroom. "Privacy might make it easier," he said.

Without looking at the two girls, Xander stood and walked to the bedroom, his shoulders slumped in defeat. Tears of mortification and frustration filled his eyes. He stepped into the dark room and stopped just inside the door. He heard the low tones of Angel’s voice, and then the vampire was right behind him, closing the door to ensure their privacy.

Angel took Xander’s arm and led him to the bed. Xander didn’t bother to resist. Didn’t know if he could. He fell to the bed, his legs weak and shaking. Angel knelt in front of him.

"Is there something else you want to tell me, Xander?" he asked softly, gently, and Xander was suddenly filled with such conflicting emotions. Hatred, because it seemed he had always hated Angel, and plus, this whole situation was his fault, and relief, because he needed desperately to unburden himself. Telling Willow had only lifted a small portion of his disgust and self-hatred.

Xander closed his eyes so he didn’t have to look into Angel’s. "He made me come," he whispered hoarsely.

"Xander," Angel said. "Look at me."

Xander opened his eyes.

"That’s only natural..."

"No!" Xander hissed. "It’s...perverted. Vile. Disgusting..."

"Stop it," Angel spoke firmly without raising his voice, only continuing when Xander looked at him in surprise. "I meant that his drinking from you caused you to...become aroused. That you had an orgasm was a natural reaction to having been bitten. It’s no reflection on you as an individual, Xander. You’re still a good person," Angel assured him.

Xander let the tears fall, and buried his face in his hands. Angel awkwardly patted his shaking shoulders until he quieted. "Sorry," he said, his voice cracking.

"Nothing to be sorry for," Angel replied. "I know this has been difficult, and I know you blame me, but I will do anything I can to keep Spike away from you," he promised. "Now," he said, "I know you’re not looking forward to this, so why don’t we get it over with?"

Xander blushed. "It’s very sensitive," he said, his voice squeaking.

"Ahh," Angel replied. "Well, I’ll try not to...I’ll be quick," Angel said.

"Okay," Xander agreed.

Angel sat on the bed beside Xander, and Xander tilted his head. Angel placed his hand on Xander’s shoulder and leaned close to him, then licked over the fresh bite. Xander gritted his teeth to keep from moaning aloud as Angel’s tongue bathed his neck, letting out a sigh of relief when he finally lifted his head.

"Th-thanks," he said, not looking at the dark vampire.

"You’re welcome," Angel said, and slowly stood.

"One more thing," Xander said. Angel inclined his head to show that he was listening. "If Spike turns me..." Xander looked directly into Angel’s eyes. "You be the one to stake me so Buffy doesn’t have to, okay?"

Angel just stared at him, and then said, "Okay."

Chapter Four

By the time Xander returned to school on Monday, the bite on his neck had healed enough that he didn’t think Giles would notice it. Of course, he made it a point to keep the bite facing away from the older man whenever he could, just in case. For whatever reason, Giles didn’t make mention of it. Nor did the Watcher cop to the fact that Buffy and Willow were stuck to him like glue, even more than when they found out about the first bite.

Buffy and Angel searched for Spike’s lair over the weekend while Xander stayed with Willow at her house. After patrol, Buffy joined them for a slumber party while Angel staked out Xander’s house, hoping Spike would return while Xander was away. When Monday arrived, Buffy had to return home as her mother wouldn’t allow a ‘sleep over’ on a school night, so it was just down to Willow and Xander, but either Buffy or Angel made it a point to see them both inside the house before leaving.

By Wednesday night, Xander was starting to feel cooped-up. Willow, who was coming down with a little case of cabin fever herself, noticed immediately. She said something to Buffy, who then conferenced with Angel. Over the research table, Buffy suggested that Xander and Willow patrol with her and Angel. It had been quiet for the last couple nights, and she didn’t think Spike would try to get to Xander while the four of them were together.

Xander readily agreed. He was tired of being stuck inside, and almost deliriously happy at the thought of getting out and still being kept safe. He figured he had two super-powerful people with him, and agreed that Spike wouldn’t show himself when Xander was with his friends, so what could possibly go wrong?

About halfway through patrol, three vampires appeared. Buffy immediately got into Slayer-mode, and yelled, "Willow, Xander, you two stay back!"

Xander had no problem with that. He took Willow’s hand and they stood away from the action as both Buffy and Angel fought. Suddenly, he felt Willow tug at his hand, and then realized she was falling. When he went to catch her, he noticed the vampire standing behind them that had just pushed Willow down.

He opened his mouth to scream, but it was cut off by the vampire’s hand over his mouth. It pulled Xander’s head back, and hissed, "Let go of the girl and come with me, or I’ll kill her."

Xander hesitated, and the vampire raised the knife it carried. Horrified, he dropped Willow’s hand, and the vampire immediately dragged him into the brush.

"Xander!" He heard Willow scream, and then Buffy’s voice. "It was a trap! Come on, I’m going after Xander!"

He saw Buffy, Angel, and Willow running after them, and then they were separated by a group of five vampires. Xander’s hopes of rescue faded when he saw the five vamps take on Buffy and Angel. Moments later, the vampire that had roughly hauled him through the cemetery tugged him over to a parked car. The passenger side door swung open, and the vamp shoved Xander inside.

"Get back to the lair." He heard Spike command. The vampire replied, "Yes, Master," and left after closing Xander in the car.

Xander slowly turned his head, and started to shake when he saw Spike sitting beside him, smiling predatorily.

"‘Lo, pet," Spike greeted him. "Miss me?" he purred.

"N-n-no," Xander stammered the denial even as his body reacted to the vampire’s presence.

Spike grinned at him. "Liar," he whispered, and then pulled away from the curb with a squeal of tires.

Xander grabbed the seat and door, holding on for dear life as Spike raced down the street, barreling around corners. "Wh-where are we g-going?" he asked as he rattled around in the passenger seat.

"Someplace nice ‘n private," Spike assured him with another grin.

The words—and the grin—made Xander’s stomach flip flop, and he thought he might have lost bladder control if not for the hard-on that wouldn’t allow him to urinate.

"Why?" he asked, proud of himself for not stuttering this time.

Spike looked at him long enough to make Xander worry that the vampire might run into something, and then said, "Why do you think, pet?"

Xander shuddered in a combination of fear, revulsion, and desire. He swallowed hard, but remained silent. Finally the vampire pulled the car into a long driveway that wrapped around a huge, decrepit mansion.

"Well, what do you think?" he asked as he parked the car with a lurch.

Xander slowly got out of the car and looked around. The mansion was hidden from the road by a row of trees, and the car was further hidden because the vampire had parked it behind the building.

"What is this place?" Xander asked.

Spike shrugged. "Abandoned," he said. "Mine, now." He let his eyes roam over Xander’s body. "‘Long with you," he added. "Let’s get inside," he said, and started moving towards the back steps.

Xander hesitated.

"Don’t make me chase you, boy," Spike said, his voice hard. "It’ll be so much worse when I catch you, and you know I will."

Xander swallowed nervously and followed the vampire into the mansion. It was dusty, and filled with old furniture, some pieces still with dust covers over them, and others broken and tossed about. Without stopping, Spike led Xander up the curving staircase and to a bedroom on the second floor. With little thought of escape, Xander followed him.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Spike had Xander pushed up against the door, his face in his neck. Xander squeaked in surprise, and then yelped fearfully when Spike pulled back, morphed into game face, and growled at him, yellow eyes shining bright.

"Why do I smell Angelus?" he snarled, and Xander paled.

"What? Y-you can smell that?" He realized it was the wrong thing to say when Spike picked him up and threw him onto the bed, and then stormed after him. "N-no! I mean, it wasn’t like that!" Xander cried as he scrabbled up the bed, trying to get as far away from the enraged vampire as he could.

Spike crawled up the bed menacingly, trapping a cowering Xander beneath him. "I-it’s not what you think," Xander said, his arms protectively covering his face, as if that would keep Spike from biting him, or just breaking his neck. "He didn’t bite me."

***

Spike forced himself to calm down enough so he could think clearly. He’d gone nearly crazy when he couldn’t get to the boy. Last time it had been ten days, this time he couldn’t wait five. Having the boy stay with one of his friends, and Angelus waiting for him at the boy’s house, had been inspired. Spike might actually have appreciated the plan if his need for the boy hadn’t been eating away inside him.

As it was, he was desperate to get his hands, and other parts, on the boy, so he’d had to come up with a plan of his own. He’d intended to execute the strategy when the Slayer and Angelus walked the boy and his little redheaded friend home, but it had been even easier to implement while they were on patrol. By having his minions trap the Slayer and Angelus in a fight, while another dragged the boy off and loaded him into Spike’s car, there wasn’t even a trail for Angelus to follow.

Xander’s scent had been driving him insane during the entire drive to the mansion, which is why he’d made it in less time than it usually took. He wanted nothing more than to press his body against the boy’s warmth and sink his teeth into his neck, tasting the nectar that was the boy’s blood. He was hard with anticipation, and he’d grown harder when Xander meekly followed him into the mansion and up the stairs without trying to get away.

He’d grinned to himself at the boy’s easy capitulation, congratulating himself. He’d eagerly shoved Xander against the door, burying his face in the boy’s neck so he could lick his bite, and his good mood immediately vanished when he smelled Angelus on the boy. He’d been in a blind rage when he threw Xander onto the bed, but he calmed when he noticed that the boy’s scent hadn’t changed much.

There was fear, which had increased when he was faced with Spike’s anger, but there was still a good amount of arousal pouring off the boy, and that was enough to make Spike hesitate.

"Tell me what happened," he growled.

Xander spilled everything, from his not wanting Giles to know Spike had bitten him again, to telling Willow and Buffy, to their insisting that he tell Angel, that he left out the sex parts but somehow Angel knew, his confession to Angel, and Angel’s assurances that his sexual response was merely a reaction to the bite, to Angel licking the bite to make it heal faster.

"Th-that’s all that happened," he said, slowly moving his arms away from his face and looking into Spike’s demon visage. "I swear."

Spike believed him. The boy wasn’t a good enough liar for his story to be anything but the truth. But he didn’t care. Angelus doesn’t touch what is his!

"If Angelus touches you again," he said slowly, letting the tension build up, "I will kill the little redhead."

Xander’s eyes widened in fear for Willow. Spike smiled to himself. He knew Xander would be more concerned for his friend’s life than for his own.

Xander shook his head frantically. "N-n-no," he said. "Please, don’t kill..."

"You know I will," Spike said. "So tell me what I want to hear."

"He won’t e-ever touch me a-again!" Xander said, his voice breaking with fright.

Without replying, Spike shook his demon visage away, and then lowered his face, covering Xander’s lips with his own. He had an urge to show the boy that Angelus was wrong; that his reaction to Spike wasn’t merely about the blood. When Xander parted his lips, Spike groaned, and deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue into the boy’s mouth.

***

Xander had been more scared than he could ever remember being when Spike loomed ominously over him in game face, and he babbled, barely remembering how much he’d told the vampire as he tried to find the words that would placate the blond. His tongue had cleaved to the roof of his mouth, however, when Spike threatened to kill Willow.

A mouth that was surprisingly pliant, now that Spike has his tongue inside it, Xander thought madly. The exact opposite of other parts of his body, which were hard, yet just as eager to have the vampire touching them. It’s only the blood, he thought, letting Angel’s words comfort him as he reached for Spike. Somewhere in the back of his mind, though, the knowledge that Spike hadn’t bit him, hadn’t even licked the bite mark, yet, percolated.

Spike pulled away from his lips and moved down his body, nuzzling into his chest, stomach, and finally, his groin. Xander mindlessly bucked his hips, and Spike looked up at him and grinned.

"You want this, don’t you, pet?" he asked, and then sucked on Xander through his pants.

Xander hissed in an attempt to keep from moaning, not wanting to give the vampire the satisfaction of knowing that, yes, he did want this. Although, that had to be obvious, so perhaps he just wanted the satisfaction of not admitting it, he revised, and then moaned loudly as Spike worked the tip of his cock with tongue and teeth.

Suddenly, Spike’s mouth was gone, and before Xander knew what had happened, his arms were above his head and cuffs closed over his wrists, attaching him to the headboard.

"Wh-what’s this?" he asked fearfully, pulling on the handcuffs.

"That’s so you can lie convincingly when you tell Angelus and your little friends that you didn’t want to be here, and that you only let me touch you because you were restrained." He started unbuttoning Xander’s shirt. "That you only came because I sucked your blood." When Xander’s shirt was unbuttoned, Spike lowered his head and began to lave a nipple.

"B-but you...ah, God! You’re not sucking my blood!" Xander cried out as the unfamiliar sensation of having someone suckle his nipple coursed through him, sending little jolts of pleasure down to his groin.

Spike finished licking and nibbling on the hard nub, and then grinned up at Xander. "That’s why it’s going to be a lie, pet," he said, and then shifted his attention to the other nipple while nimble fingers unbuttoned and unzipped Xander’s pants, and slid inside.

Xander wanted to deny what the vampire had said, but he knew it was true. His current reaction to the vampire didn’t have anything to do with Spike eliciting a sexual response by drawing the blood out of his body, but everything to do with the mouth that was working his nipple into a hard peak of nerve endings, and the hand that was stroking him through his boxers.

"Oh-oh, God, Spike!" Xander whimpered as a thumb stroked over the nerves just under the ridge of his cock head.

Spike lifted his head and stared at Xander’s face as he deftly handled his hard prick, drawing all the blood from his brain. "Aren’t you the pretty one?" he purred. "All flushed, and hard, and needy. You want this, don’t you, Xan-n-nder?" he asked, seductively drawing out Xander’s name.

Xander clenched his lips tightly shut and frantically shook his head ‘no’. Spike just grinned and slipped his hand beneath Xander’s boxers, closing cool fingers around his hot, aching shaft and pulling on it.

"Don’t want this?" Spike asked as he stroked. "Want me to stop then, do you?" he asked, and let go of Xander.

"No!" Xander gasped, the word involuntarily pulled from him.

Spike grinned at him, and Xander clamped his mouth shut. He couldn’t believe he’d said that! He watched with a combination of horror and growing excitement as Spike pulled his pants and boxers down and tugged them off, leaving him naked except for his socks, and the shirt that lay open.

The vampire discarded his duster, and then knelt between Xander’s legs. Xander’s breath caught as Spike lowered his head, stuck out his tongue, and lapped at the pre-come leaking from the slit at the tip of Xander’s penis. He’d never been touched by anything other than his own hand before, and if the sensation of Spike’s hand on him had elicited an aroused response, the feel of his velvet tongue was positively inflaming.

Spike looked up at Xander without moving his head. "Ever been touched like this?" he asked, and then sucked on the head of Xander’s cock.

Xander was shaking his head ‘no’, but didn’t know if he was answering the vampire’s question, or begging him to stop. And then Spike sucked harder, twirling his tongue around the head, and Xander writhed beneath him, his head thrashing on the pillow, and he knew in that moment he never wanted the blond to stop.

Spike let Xander’s penis drop from his mouth. "Tell me you want it," he said, and then licked a swipe up his shaft. "Tell me," he commanded, lowering himself and licking Xander’s ball sac.

Xander gurgled. He’d never realized his balls could be that sensitive. Spike sucked one into his mouth, and Xander yelled, "Yes! I want it, oh, God, I want it..."

Xander’s cock was almost immediately enveloped inside Spike’s mouth. The vampire’s tongue, and the powerful suction he exerted, made short work of any remaining resistance, and Xander melted beneath him. He’d occasionally moan wordlessly, or try to move his hips and pull at the cuffs, but otherwise did nothing to either stop or assist the blond. Xander was soon writhing once more, all of his attention centered on his groin. His balls drew up and...Spike lifted his head again.

Xander cried out in frustration.

"You need this, pet?" Spike asked softly, his voice low and deep, and sending shivers up Xander’s spine. "Tell me how much you need my mouth on you; crave my touch." Spike nuzzled into his groin, sniffing him, and then licked him.

Xander was unable to lie, his body already shouting the answer loud and clear. "Yes," he whimpered.

"Yes, what?" Spike said, blowing on the head of Xander’s penis.

"Gaagh!" Xander yelped. "Yes, I...I need this..."

"Me, pet," Spike said. "You need me."

Tears of mortification and self-revulsion filled Xander’s eyes, and then ran down his face and into his hair. "Yes," he replied softly, tearfully. "I need you."

Spike wrapped his lips around him once more and sucked, moving his mouth up and down his already wet shaft and tonguing him. Xander’s climax built, and his balls tightened. His entire body stiffened as his release surged through him, his cock swelling and then erupting, shooting load after load of fluid into Spike’s mouth as the vampire swallowed around him.

In a sated haze, Xander barely felt Spike clean him off and release him. He observed through bleary eyes as the vampire crawled up his body and straddled his chest, watching avidly as Spike unfastened his belt, and then unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. Xander felt a tingle in his belly when Spike’s hard flesh burst from his jeans.

The vampire fisted himself, stroking lightly, and then shifted so that the head was at Xander’s lips. Spike teasingly dragged it over his lips, leaving behind the sticky evidence of his own arousal.

"Open your mouth, Xander," Spike commanded. "You know you need this."

Xander moaned, and opened his mouth.

Chapter Five

Spike bit his lip to keep from groaning aloud when Xander parted his lips and he slid his aching erection into the boy’s warm, wet mouth. Xander eagerly sucked on his head, swirling his tongue around it, and then sucked on the shaft as Spike pumped into his mouth, entering him a little more with each thrust.

"That’s my good boy. Suck me, Xander," he said as he brushed a lock of Xander’s hair off his face and wiped a tear away. "Ever done this before?" he asked, already knowing the answer, but wanting to hear it.

Xander, unable to actually speak, shook his head ‘no’. Spike pursed his lips, grinning inside as he imagined molding the boy, making Xander completely and utterly his. The boy was a gift, after all. An offering from his sire. Wouldn’t do to not accept.

"You’re doing good," he praised. "Do you like sucking my cock?" he asked, moving his hips faster, driving his rod into Xander’s throat until the boy was gagging. Xander’s eyes were wide with fear as he struggled to breathe.

"Breathe through your nose," Spike suggested, not wanting the boy to die on him yet, and continued to thrust into Xander’s mouth, deep into his throat.

"I’ll bet you do like it," Spike purred. "Like the taste and feel of me as I fill your mouth, your throat, don’t you, pet? Gonna want my cock in your mouth all the time now, aren’t you?"

Spike was in bloody Heaven! The boy was a natural at sucking cock, and his mouth was a warm haven. He didn’t want the lovely sensations the boy was causing to stop, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to withstand the pleasure much longer.

"Gonna come, pet," he said softly. "You swallow it all, yeah?"

Spike kept his eyes on Xander’s when his body tensed. His semen gathered in his balls and then filled his cock. He pulsed and twitched, and his orgasm exploded into Xander’s mouth. Spike watched as Xander struggled to swallow all of it, moaning when some escaped the boy’s lips and dribbled down his chin. That was him, his essence, filling Xander, becoming part of him.

When he was spent, he instructed Xander to clean him off, and then carefully withdrew. He laid down beside Xander, not bothering to tuck himself back in, and licked the come off the boy’s chin. Kissing Xander, he shared the fluid with him, and tasted himself in Xander’s mouth.

"That’s me," he whispered when he pulled away. "Inside you. I’m part of you now, pet, and you’ll never be rid of me."

Spike kissed a silently crying Xander again, and then uncuffed one wrist and pulled his arms down, re-cuffing his wrists when they were lying between them.

"Stay here and get some rest," he said, and watched over his pet as the snuffling boy fell into a restless slumber.

He’d never had anyone that was his, and Spike was surprised at how much he wanted the boy. Dru didn’t count. They’d been together for over one hundred years, but she wasn’t his. She belonged to Angelus, and always would, despite the fact that the vampire no longer had any interest in her. What had begun as revenge against Angelus’ lies had turned into something much different. Perhaps he’d have to find a way to thank the other vampire, he thought with an evil grin.

***

When Xander woke, the sky was still dark, but he could tell that dawn was nearing. For a moment he couldn’t remember where he was, and then the memories came rushing back. Spike capturing him and taking him to the mansion, him spilling everything about Angel, Spike sucking him and making him come, and then Xander taking the vampire into his mouth...

He finally realized what had awakened him. Spike was nuzzling at his neck, licking and sucking on the bite, and Xander had grown hard. He shivered as the rasp of Spike’s tongue sent a bolt of desire straight to his groin.

"Awake now, are we?" Spike asked against his neck, and Xander couldn’t repress another shiver. "Good," he purred. "Wouldn’t want you to miss the main event."

Spike morphed, and Xander felt the ridges against his neck just before he felt the vampire’s fangs enter him. He moaned in pain at the initial bite, and then arousal when Spike started to suck, drawing his blood out. Xander reached up and grasped Spike’s hips as the vampire undulated against him, rocking his own hips into the blond’s.

Too soon he was tensing, arching, his release rushing through his body and exploding out of him to coat his chest and stomach with the warm, sticky fluid. Spike tore his fangs out of Xander’s neck and, with a roar, reached climax, his own juices joining Xander’s.

After a few moments to recover, Spike pulled away from Xander and cleaned himself up. He silently tucked himself back into his jeans, and then got his duster, shoving the cuffs into the pocket. That’s when Xander realized he hadn’t been cuffed when he woke. He’d have blushed at his response to the vampire, but figured his blood was still pooled in his groin.

"Get dressed, pet," Spike said. "Gotta get you home before the sun comes up."

Xander cleaned himself up as best he could, and then got dressed. Without another word, Spike put his duster on and then led Xander out of the mansion. The drive was quiet, Xander too confused and disconcerted by his response to the vampire to speak. Xander didn’t question where Spike was taking him, but wasn’t surprised when he pulled onto Willow’s street.

"When I stop, you get out quick, now," Spike told him. "Don’t want the Slayer catching me. And if you don’t move fast enough, I’ll just have to take you with me when I leave," he threatened, which made Xander’s heart start galloping painfully in his chest.

Spike pulled up to the curb, and Xander got out of the car as quickly as he could.

"See you soon, pet," Spike said, and then peeled away before Xander could shut the door. He watched as the door swung shut, and then turned to see Buffy racing down the sidewalk towards him, with Willow right behind her.

"Xander! Are you all right?" Buffy cried as she grabbed him into her arms.

Moments later, Willow was there, adding her arms to Buffy’s, and Xander was caught up in a three-way hug.

"We were so worried!" Willow said.

"Sorry, Will," Xander replied, as if he could have helped it. "I’m fine," he answered Buffy, "just..."

Buffy pulled away and looked at his neck, her face hardening when she saw the fresh bite. "That bastard!" she hissed. "I’m going to kill him, Xander, I promise," she said, and her eyes filled with tears.

"I know, Buff," Xander said. "It’s not your fault."

"I’m supposed to be able to protect you!" she insisted.

Xander suddenly sagged in their arms.

"Let’s get him inside," Willow ordered, and the two girls practically carried him into the house.

"You must be tired, Xan," Buffy said as she closed and locked the front door behind them.

"Yeah, I am, kinda," Xander replied. "And I’d like to take a shower," he added, unable to resist glancing quickly into Willow’s face.

She gave him a sad smile, her eyes all big and wise. "You know where the bathroom is. Go right ahead, Xander," she said softly.

Xander left them standing in the foyer, hearing Buffy's whispered, "I need to call Angel and let him know Xander's back," and went to the bathroom to shower. He scoured his body, scrubbing his flaccid penis until it was tender to the touch, and then soaping his mouth. Lastly, he carefully cleaned the bite, trying not to touch it enough to make himself erect. When he was finished, he went to Willow’s room, where she and Buffy were sitting on the bed, talking.

"I’m going to lay down for a bit," he said. "Wake me for school, okay?"

"Get some rest, Xan," Willow said, standing to give him another hug.

"Maybe you should stay home today," Buffy suggested.

"No," Xander said, shaking his head. "I know it’s daylight, but...I don’t want to be alone."

***

After classes, Xander nervously reported to the library. Buffy and Willow were already there, sitting around the table. They stopped talking when Xander walked in, and both smiled at him.

"Hey," Xander said with a wave, attempting to act normally.

"Hey, Xan!" Willow chirped cheerfully, falling in with his act.

"Hey, Xander," Buffy said as she absently continued to carve the stake she held.

"Oh, Xander," Giles said when he stepped out of the stacks and saw Xander. "Good, you’re here. Could I see you in my office, please?" he asked, and then walked into that room.

Xander looked at Buffy and Willow, who both shrugged. Xander swallowed hard as he set his bag on the table, and then followed Giles. He hadn’t thought to ask Buffy if the other man knew about last night, and so wasn’t sure what to expect when he entered the office.

Giles was sitting at his desk, fiddling with a pen. He looked up at Xander when he stepped into the room. "Close the door, please," he requested.

Xander shut the door, and when he turned back, Giles had risen to his feet. There were tears in his eyes and he pulled Xander into his arms, holding him tightly. "Oh, Xander," he said brokenly.

"I guess you heard about last night," Xander said, his tone light as he tried to defuse the emotionally charged atmosphere.

"No jokes," Giles said gruffly, shaking him a little. "Just let me hold you to assure myself you’re really still alive."

Xander lifted his arms and embraced Giles, and then slowly allowed himself to relax.

"I don’t know what I would have done...," Giles managed to get out before he had to stop speaking.

Xander began to cry. It had been so long since his parents had held him like this, cared enough to worry whether he was alive. The hug, combined with his conflicted feelings about Spike, was too much. Giles held him while he sobbed, pressing Xander’s head onto his shoulder and whispering soothing words of comfort.

They stayed in Giles’ office until Xander had cried himself out, and both of them had recovered enough to face the others. Both of their faces were mottled, their eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot. Giles opened the office door and, with a deep breath, led Xander back into the library. Over Giles’ shoulder, Xander saw that both girls were staring in shock at Giles’ condition.

"Giles, are you...?" Buffy began.

"I’m fine," Giles said, his British reserve losing something in the stiff-upper-lip department when he sniffled.

Xander didn’t speak as he took a seat across from Willow and Buffy at the table. Both girls turned their gazes on him almost simultaneously, and he felt them like a weight. "Uh, me, too," he said uncertainly.

Buffy’s eyes darted to the side, and that’s when Xander noticed that Angel was also there. The dark vampire was leaning against a book shelf, and his all-black look made him fade into the shadows. Xander started, and then guiltily looked away from him. He tuned back into the conversation around him to hear, "...maybe we should get Xander out of town."

"Hey, what?" he asked.

"It’s not safe here for you, Xander," Giles went on. "Perhaps we should find somewhere safe for you until we...until Spike is no longer a concern."

"I-I don’t want to leave," Xander said. "What if I’m not any safer there? What if Spike knows? What if..."

"Xander...," Angel began placatingly as he moved closer to the table.

"D-don’t touch me," Xander said, pulling his arm in a little.

"Xander," Angel said with a frown of confusion. "I’m not going to hurt you."

"I know," Xander said. "J-j-just don’t touch me, all right?"

"Xander, what’s wrong?" Angel asked, his eyes narrowing as he reached out for Xander’s arm.

Xander freaked. He pulled his arm back and stood up quickly, shoving the chair back with his legs, and then teetered as he lost his balance.

"Xander!" Willow cried

Angel grabbed for him, but Xander overreacted and reared back, becoming further unbalanced. He tried to catch himself, but tripped over the chair and landed hard, sprawled out on the chair that he had tipped over in his attempt to elude Angel’s touch. Angel moved towards him, and Xander painfully and frantically crab-crawled away from him. Buffy stood and quickly moved around the table, halting Angel’s movement.

"It’s all right, Xander," she said, and then went to help him up.

"Ow," he said, studiously not looking at Angel. "That’s gonna bruise," he added.

"Xander, what’s wrong?" Giles asked worriedly.

"I’m sorry," Xander said, fighting back the tears. "I didn’t mean..." He looked at Angel, and then away. "He said..."

"Who said?" Buffy asked. "Spike?"

"Yes," Xander said. "Spike said... He knew, about the...," he paused, realizing to say anything more would let Giles know about the second bite. "...and he said if you touched me again, he-he’d k-kill..."

"You?" Angel asked. "He said he’d kill you?"

"N-no," Xander said, hiccoughing as he tried not to cry again, and then failed. "He said he’d k-kill Willow."

The room was silent as that sunk in, and then everyone spoke at once.

"M-m-me?" Willow squeaked.

"That...that...*vampire*!" Buffy growled. "I am going to find him and I am going to stake him *so* much!"

"That’s all right, Xander," Angel said softly, accepting his apology.

"Oh, dear, Lord," Giles muttered.

***

The next couple days were quiet. Buffy and Angel finally found Spike’s lair at the old factory, but he had already moved on, which meant they had to backtrack and search everything *again*, in case he moved into one of the abandoned buildings they’d already inspected. Xander told them about the mansion Spike had taken him to, but was too frazzled from the drive there and back to remember exactly where it was.

Late Sunday night, there was a knock at Willow’s front door. Thinking that Buffy, who had just left, might have forgotten something, Willow climbed to her feet, leaving Xander alone on the couch where the two of them had been snuggled beneath a blanket watching an old black-and-white movie on AMC.

Xander listened to her socked feet scurry across the wooden floor. "What did you forg—," she broke off. "Spike!" she squeaked.

"Where’s Xander?" Spike’s voice was amiable.

Xander bolted off the couch and raced for the door. He grabbed Willow’s arm and pushed her behind him, and then stood shaking as he confronted the blond vampire.

"Spike!" he said. "Wh-what do you want?"

Spike was leaning casually against the doorframe, the fingers of both hands tucked into his pockets.

"Miss me, pet?" he drawled.

"No!" Xander yelled. "What do you *want*?" he repeated.

Spike looked him over. "Think you know what I want, Xander," he said, a steely glint in his eyes.

"Go away, Spike!" Willow yelled from behind Xander, standing on her tiptoes so she could see over his shoulder. "You can’t get in here, anyway!"

"Don’t need to come in," Spike said. "Xander’s comin’ out."

"No, he’s not!" Willow said determinedly.

"N-no, I’m not," Xander agreed, though not quite as forcefully. "Go away, Spike."

Spike ran his eyes over Xander’s body, slowly, as if he was taking inventory. Xander was mortified to realize that he had gotten hard.

"I’m going to call Buffy!" Willow exclaimed as she slid over to the phone and held it up triumphantly.

Spike ignored her, and kept his eyes on Xander. "The Slayer just left, so it’ll be awhile before you can reach her," he said. "I’ll be long gone before she gets back here, and you know what’s going to happen if you don’t come out."

Xander blanched.

"Yeah," Spike said with a satisfied smirk. "I see you do remember. But I won’t just kill her, pet. I’ll hurt her bad before I tear out her throat," he promised.

"No," Xander whimpered.

"Don’t listen to him, Xander!" Willow cried, dropping the phone and grabbing his arm. "We’re safe in here. And Buffy will kill him before he can do anything to either one of us. We have to trust her!"

Xander stood frozen to the spot.

"You think she’s right, pet?" Spike asked conversationally. "Think the Slayer can get to me before I get to you, or her?" He let his eyes drop to Willow’s slight frame. "How much are you willing to bet?"

And then he turned and jumped off the porch, and sauntered across the lawn.

Xander turned to look at Willow, who was staring back at him with big green eyes. "I can’t chance it," he said sadly, his voice quavering with fear. "You stay here. Whatever happens, don’t go outside."

"No, Xander!"

Xander pulled his arm out of Willow’s grasp and stepped outside the safety of the invisible barrier.

Chapter Six

"S-Spike," Xander called hesitantly. "Spike, wait!"

Spike stopped walking, and Xander moved down the steps towards him with feet made of lead. When he reached the sidewalk, Spike turned around and glared at him. Xander kept walking until he reached the blond vampire.

"Wh-where are we going?" he asked, resigned.

Spike tilted his head consideringly, and then said, "Get on your knees, Xander."

Xander dropped to his knees, his whole body trembling with fear. "I’m sorry, Spike," he said. "Please, don’t hurt Willow."

Spike ignored his entreaty. "Undo my pants and take me out, pet."

"Wh-what?" Xander yelped. Spike couldn’t be serious! he thought.

Spike’s eyes narrowed. "You heard me, and I don’t like repeating myself, so do it."

"Please, Spike, not in front of Willow," Xander begged with tears of humiliation building in his eyes, but to no avail.

"You disobeyed me, pet," Spike said. "You’ll learn not to do that in the future."

Spike stood silently staring down at him, but Xander couldn’t make his hands move to do as he’d been bid. He just couldn’t do that. Not in front of Willow! The vampire slowly raised his head and looked at Willow, standing behind Xander in the open doorway.

"She looks like she’d make a right tasty treat," he drawled. "Wonder if she’ll scream when I..."

***

Spike stopped speaking when Xander undid his belt, but didn’t take his eyes off Willow. He wasn’t sure which he’d enjoy more, the beaten look he’d see on Xander’s face, or the horrified expression he was going to see on Willow’s when she realized what Xander was doing for her.

When his jeans were open, his hard cock jutting in front of Xander’s face, Spike said, "Now, suck me. And make it good, pet."

"Spike, please...," Xander tried again.

Spike narrowed his eyes as he looked down at Xander, and his lips thinned into an angry line. "Suck me, Xander, or spend the rest of the night saying goodbye to the redhead, because one morning you’re going to find pieces of her on your doorstep."

With a moan of fear, Xander parted his lips and took Spike into his warm mouth. Spike moaned, too, but for an entirely different reason. Cor, he loved the feel of Xander’s mouth! This could get addicting. He raised his eyes from the top of Xander’s head and stared into Willow’s eyes. She looked as horrified as he’d imagined she would, and it filled him with delight.

Blue eyes locked on green as he reached down and buried his fingers in Xander’s hair, and began to slowly undulate his hips, sliding his cock in and out of Xander’s mouth while the boy sucked on him. Seeing the helpless tear run down Willow’s cheek made him frantic, and he began to thrust into the boy’s mouth, driving his cock down his throat with savage abandon.

All too soon it was over, and he was coming, filling Xander’s mouth as the boy swallowed everything he had to offer. When he was finished, he forced Xander to put him back into his jeans, and then lifted the boy to his feet.

"Now it’s your turn, pet," Spike said with a feral grin, and then morphed.

Xander whimpered, and over the scent of his fear, Spike got a whiff of arousal. He looked at Willow and licked his lips, and the girl visibly paled, her entire body shaking. Spike lowered his head to Xander’s neck, and took his time licking him, preparing him for the bite. When he placed his fangs against Xander’s skin, the boy trembled, and moaned deep in his throat.

Too excited to tease him any longer, Spike bit down hard. Xander cried out in pain, and then made little whimpering noises as Spike drank. Spike felt the boy’s body tense, and then shudder. Xander cried out as he climaxed, and Spike continued to drink the boy’s blood, which now contained traces of his desire.

Sated, Spike withdrew his fangs from Xander’s neck. Still staring at Willow, he licked the boy’s blood off his lips, and then off Xander’s neck, because there was no sense in wasting the ambrosia-like fluid. He let go of Xander and stepped back, looking into lust-glazed eyes.

"Was it good for you?" he whispered meanly, and then watched as Xander’s legs gave out and the boy sank to his knees.

With a ‘Swish!’ of his duster, Spike turned on his heels and strode away, not looking back.

***

Xander didn’t move after Spike walked away. He couldn’t. His muscles wouldn’t work, and he was too embarrassed to face Willow after what he had just done.

"Xander!" He heard his name called as if from a long distance. "Xander, please, are you all right? Did he take too much blood? Xander, answer me! Do we need to go to the hospital?" Willow’s voice finally penetrated the fog clouding his mind, and he could feel her hands on him.

"No," Xander whimpered, pulling away from her. He couldn’t bear to have her see him, touch him. He was dirty, unclean, impure. "I wish he’d just kill me," he said, defeated.

"Don’t you say that!" Willow yelled, and then slapped him. "Snap out of it! We need to get you inside. Come on," she said as she tried to pull Xander to his feet. "You’ve got to help me out a little bit, here."

Xander climbed weakly to his feet and leaned on Willow as she led him into the house. When she let go of him to close the door, he fell to his knees once more, covered his face with his hands, and sobbed. Willow was immediately there, all around him. Her scent, her voice, her touch.

"It’s all right," she whispered tearfully as she held him, stroking him and kissing him. "It’ll be all right. I love you, Xander. I’m so sorry you had to do that for me, but I love you. I’ll always love you. You’re my best friend, Xander."

That’s how Buffy found them the next morning when she stopped by to get them for school. She opened the door and almost tripped over them.

"Willow, what the...," she began, and then stopped when she saw Willow’s haggard appearance. "Will-Willow, what happened?" she asked, kneeling beside them and reaching out to touch them both.

Xander whimpered pitifully at her touch.

"Spike was here last night," Willow replied, her voice raspy from tears.

Buffy gently turned Xander’s head and examined the fresh bite. Her lips tightened, but she said nothing. Taking a deep breath, she turned to Willow. "What happened?" she whispered. "How did Spike get to him?"

"Through me," Willow said, and fresh tears ran down her face. "Spike c-came right to the door and threatened to kill me if Xander didn’t go outside."

"Oh, Willow, he didn’t...," Buffy started to say reprovingly.

"He did it for me," Willow said, the depth of her pain obvious in her face and voice. "He let Spike...bite him...to save me."

Buffy stood and picked up the telephone. She dialed, and then placed the receiver to her ear. "Hello, Giles," she said after a few moments of silence. "You need to come to Willow’s."

***

Xander listened to everything that was going on around him, but didn’t feel connected to any of it. The girls fussed over him until Giles arrived, talking to each other in hushed tones. When Giles showed up, he took one look at Xander and turned to Buffy.

"Help me get him to his feet. He needs a shower, and then sleep," he commanded.

Buffy helped Giles get Xander upstairs, and then left the two of them alone so Giles could undress Xander and get him into the shower.

"Come, Xander, let’s get you undressed," he said gently, and then began to remove Xander’s clothes.

Xander came around enough to realize that Giles was going to see the proof of his perversion. He turned away from the other man before Giles could remove his boxers, but he just turned him back around. "It’s all right, Xander," he said soothingly. "I’m fully aware of the effect of a vampire bite."

"Oh, God," Xander whispered hoarsely, speaking the first words since he’d entered the house after Spike left. He lowered his head and began to cry, and Giles took him in his arms. Xander tried to pull away, but Giles wouldn’t let him. "You shouldn’t touch me," he said. "I’m disgusting."

"Nonsense," Giles said matter-of-factly. "You’re Xander, and a perfectly nice boy. What Spike does to you is not your fault. Now, come, get into the shower so you can clean up. You’ll feel better afterwards, I promise. And then you need some sleep."

"He won’t stop coming, Giles," Xander said sadly. "I think he’s trying to drive me insane. I...," he hesitated, and then looked down at the floor. "I wanted him to kill me last night. I don’t like feeling so dirty."

Giles lifted Xander’s face. "You are not dirty," he said.

"I...I like it," Xander said. "When he bites me...I like it."

"Spike could make anyone like it, Xander. He could make me, or even Buffy, enjoy it, if he wanted to. It’s not a reflection on you..."

Xander gave a little laugh. "That’s what Angel said." Giles cocked his head questioningly. "He, uh, he knew that..."

"Ah, yes," Giles said. "He would."

"Giles?"

"Yes, Xander?" Giles asked softly.

"I dream about it sometimes," Xander admitted, his voice barely a whisper.

Giles took him by the shoulders. "Xander, have you ever had a sexual relationship with anyone?" he asked.

"Besides my hand?" Xander asked, and then blushed and just shook his head ‘no’.

"You’re young, and Spike has touched you... Mmm, perhaps a bad choice of words. Spike has made you feel things you’ve never felt before. It’s only natural that you’d want to experience that pleasure again, and since you’ve only ever experienced it from this one source, that is what your subconscious is going to remember. Dreams, fantasies, those aren’t bad things, Xander. You must not condemn yourself because of what Spike has done. You, Alexander Lavelle Harris, are a wonderful young man, and that hasn’t changed."

Xander stared at Giles tearfully. "Really?" he asked.

Giles ruffled his hair. "Really," he replied. "Now, get into the shower and clean up. And then it’s bed for you."

"I’m kinda...starting to feel a little bit hungry," Xander said when his stomach growled.

Giles smiled at him. "I’m actually very relieved to hear that," he said. "But no Twinkies™ for breakfast."

Xander pouted, and then climbed into the shower, feeling better about himself than he had in weeks.

***

Giles gave Xander a sleeping pill after breakfast, and he and Willow both stayed out of school that day. Xander had been more than a little bit embarrassed when he actually looked at her for the first time after she saw him suck Spike off. He could tell by her smile, and the way she took his hand and hugged him, snuggling under his arm, that would remain a secret between the two of them.

That night, Giles took them both to his apartment. Space was limited, but Xander took the hard couch while Willow slept on an air mattress on the floor. Knowing that Spike wouldn’t be able to find him there, Xander slept better than he could remember ever sleeping.

A couple days later, at lunchtime on Thursday, Xander was in the library with Giles and Willow. Xander was doodling in his notebook, pretending to do homework while Willow actually *did* do homework. Willow suddenly looked at her watch and then slammed her book shut, startling Xander.

"Shoot! I was supposed to meet with Mr. Henderson to discuss my book report!" she said, packing up her books. "I’ll see you in class, ‘kay?"

"Okay," Xander said.

After she left, Xander was even more bored. He continued doodling, ripping the page out and scrunching it into a ball when he realized he’d been writing Spike’s name. He watched Giles go through the returned books until the phone rang, and the other man moved into his office to answer it. Xander was looking around the familiar room, wishing he had something to do, when he heard a noise in the back.

"Angel?" he called out softly. There was no answer. "Angel, is that you?"

He got up to investigate, moving back into the stacks. There was no one there. He turned around to go back to the table, and nearly ran into Spike. Before he could cry out, Spike covered Xander’s mouth with his hand and forced him to the back of the stacks.

Pressing him against the wall, Spike leaned into him. "Miss me, pet?" he purred.

Xander’s eyes were wide with terror. How did Spike get into the library? What was he going to do? Would he kill Xander now, and then Giles? His thoughts skittered across his mind in a panicked jumble. He tried to scream, but Spike’s hand muffled it.

"Now, now, none of that, pet," Spike said, and quickly replaced his hand with his mouth.

Spike ran his tongue over Xander’s lips, but he slammed them shut so Spike couldn’t enter. He cried out in pain when Spike pinched his nipple, and the vampire wasted no time slipping his tongue into Xander’s mouth. Xander began to struggle, pushing at Spike’s arms and shoulders with his hands, and kicking out at his ankles.

Without lifting his lips, Spike used his knees to spread Xander’s thrashing legs, and pressed their groins tightly together. Xander, despite every intention not to, moaned into Spike’s mouth at the contact. He slowly relaxed into the kiss, allowing Spike to deepen it, even as he continued to try and push the vampire away, until even that token resistence evaporated.

Xander’s arms went around the vampire’s shoulders, and slid down his back. Cupping his ass, Xander pulled Spike into him as he moved his hips against the blond’s. He ground his groin into Spike’s as his tongue delved into the vampire’s mouth. Spike pulled back and lowered his head to Xander’s neck, sniffing.

Xander groaned, and his hips urgently undulated against Spike’s when he heard the vampire sniffing his neck, and felt the tickling touch of his nose. He waited anxiously for the bite, which never came.

Spike moved his lips to Xander’s ear, and whispered, "You’re such a good boy, Xander. Are you going to come for me? You want to, don’t you, pet?" he purred.

"Oh, God! Oh, God, Spike," Xander whimpered.

"Yeah, I know you do," Spike continued in that same silky tone. He blew on the bite mark, and Xander began to pant and moan. "Come for me, Xander," Spike whispered.

Xander lowered his head and bit down on Spike’s leather jacket to muffle the noises he couldn’t help making as his body stiffened, and then shuddered with his release.

"Mmm, good, puppy," Spike purred, and then gently disentangled himself from Xander and disappeared into the dark.

Xander’s body was still trembling, and his legs were too weak to support himself. They collapsed, and he slid down the wall, landing in a heap. When he recovered from his orgasm, the shock of everything that had just happened hit him.

Spike had been in the library! He’d made Xander come, though if Xander was honest with himself, Spike hadn’t *made* him do anything. Xander hadn’t exactly fought the vampire off ‘til the bitter end, nor had he been passive during their encounter, but rather an active participant in his own downfall. He felt a fresh wave of disgust at himself when he remembered how he’d tilted his head in invitation, practically begging Spike to bite him.

Xander pushed himself to his feet and checked to make sure there wasn’t a large wet stain on his pants. Thankfully, there wasn’t, yet. He staggered out of the stacks and over to the table, glad Giles was still in his office. Packing up his books, Xander hurried to the boy’s room so he could clean up.

It wasn’t until he was sitting in class, his shirt covering the small wet spot that had formed before he got to the boy’s room, that he realized Spike hadn’t bitten him. He wondered why the vampire had sought him out if not to take his blood? Upon further reflection of their encounter, he recalled that Spike hadn’t come, either, but had left right after Xander’s orgasm. Now, he was more confused than ever.

***

Once he was in the sewer beneath the school, Spike forced himself to run. He had to get as far away from Xander as he could before the urge to bite the boy overpowered his reasoning. When he had put enough distance between them, Spike stopped running and, in the dark, dank sewer, pulled his aching erection out and stroked himself to orgasm while he relived their rendezvous.

He remembered how Xander had looked when he first came upon him—surprised and fearful. How the boy had struggled against him, right up until the point he’d opened himself up, allowing Spike into his mouth as he wrapped himself around the vampire, straining eagerly against him. How he had sounded at the end—moaning and whimpering until he found release. At the memory of the boy tilting his head just that little bit, encouraging Spike to bite him, Spike came.

He cleaned himself up, and then sauntered on his way. Spike was very pleased with the way things had happened. The extent of his own need had been a little bit of a surprise, but the boy’s need had been every bit as much as he’d hoped. Yeah, the boy wouldn’t be able to hold out for long, he thought, grinning.

Spike had been in a rage when he found out Xander was no longer at the redhead’s. He’d tried to find out where he was staying, but the boy’s only other friend was the Slayer, and he hadn’t been spotted there, or at his own house. Since they used the school for their meetings, Spike figured there had to be some way for Angelus to get in and out without having to deal with sunlight.

He broke into the City Office Building and took a look at the sewer plans and the blueprints for the high school, which were also on file there. The fact that he’d found the boy in the library on his first foray, and that he’d been foolish enough to let himself be caught alone with Spike, was just...neat!

The way the boy had invited him to bite him revealed that he was closer than Spike had anticipated. Now that he was assured of victory, he could afford to wait them out. It wouldn’t be long before Xander came to him, and begged Spike to bite him.

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