Truth, Justice & The American WayBy Malana
1 – AwarenessMy head hurts so much that I don't even want to open my eyes.
I'm just going to lie here with my eyes closed, and try to remember what I did last night. From the pounding of my head and the queasy feeling in my stomach, I'm assuming I did a lot of drinking.
Drinking.
That's right. Buffy, Xander and I decided to go to Vegas. We were rewarding ourselves, after the battle with the First Evil. We decided after everything that we had been through, we deserved a vacation. Buffy was having fun playing the slot machines. And Xander had camped-out in front of the black-jack table. I'm not too into gambling. So I spent most of my time last night in the casino bar.
The bartender made a really good rum-and-coke. I must have had quite a few of them. I'm not normally a big drinker. But I was having fun. Kennedy and I had just broken up a few weeks ago, after a huge fight. I was drinking my troubles away, 'cause I'm stupid like that.
I feel movement beside me and, despite the headache, my eyes fly open. There is someone else in my hotel room. Actually, as I look around, I don't think this is my hotel room. I turn to look beside me, hoping that I just imagined the movement. No such luck. There is someone is bed beside me. A male someone.
Oh my god. I slept with a guy!
Bits of memory come flittering back in my head. Hanging out in the bar led to a lot of drinking, drinking led to dancing, and apparently dancing led to sleeping with the guy who is now sleeping next to me.
He's handsome. I have to give him that. Even with his hair mussed from sleep, he's pretty hot. But he's also a he. I haven't even been attracted to a guy in a long time, much less slept with one. Sure, since Kennedy and I broke-up I haven't been involved with any girls either, but I'm still weirded out by this whole thing.
He also looks kind of young. He must be at least 21, after all, he was having a busy time in the bar last night too. But he looks like a teenager. I wonder what his name is. As much as I try to remember, I just can't. Most of the night is a blank. Besides getting pretty cozy with this guy on the dance floor, I can't remember much at all.
Buffy and Xander are never going to forget this. I'm not the one-night stand type. I'm never going to live this down. Buffy will smirk, and Xander will make crass comments.
I just want to die.
I cover my face with my hands, and that's when I see it. There is a ring on my finger. Specifically, there is a simple gold band on the ring finger of my left hand.
This has got to be a joke. I...I can't have gotten married. I was drunk, yes. But I couldn't have been that drunk. No. It's just a ring. It doesn't mean that I actually got married. It's just some sort of weird coincidence or something.
I sit up in bed, and as I do, something on the nightstand catches my eye. There is some sort of paper with my name on it. Why is there a piece of paper with my name on it? I take a closer look, and I can't breathe.
It's a marriage certificate.
I did it. I actually was so stupidly drunk that I went and married a complete stranger. What have you gotten yourself into Willow Rosenberg? Wait, not Rosenberg anymore. I take another look at the certificate. Kent.
My name is Willow Kent.
2- Recognition
My head hurts. Why does my head hurt?
Oh, man.
I think I'm hung over.
This is new.
This is bad.
I didn't even really know I could get drunk, much less be hung-over from it.
Okay, Clark. Just think. I'm lying in bed, my eyes tightly closed. I do not want open them. I'm not used to headaches.
Why did I get drunk? I don't drink.
And then it hits me.
Lana.
Or, more specifically, Lana and Pete. Lana and Pete kissing, to be exact.
We were all in Vegas as a graduation celebration. Lex had flown Pete, Lana, Chloe and me out. He put us in a nice hotel and was paying for our meals. He had even made us all fake ids, though none of us were planning on using them.
I was having fun. The hotel was amazing, with a huge pool. We had seen a couple of shows. It was great. Then I had walked in on Pete making out with Lana, the girl I had been in love with for years.
I knew that Lana and Pete had grown closer over our senior year, but I didn't dream that anything was going on between the two of them. Sure, Lana and I had never actually had anything resembling a successful relationship, but it still sucked to see them together.
Apparently, I decided to deal with it by taking advantage of my new fake driver's license. I went to the hotel bar and got completely wasted. Oh, god. I hope my parents don't find out. They'll kill me. And Lex too, probably.
Suddenly, I hear movement beside me. There's somebody in my room. Maybe it's Chloe. Our room's have a connecting door. I don't feel like talking though. Maybe if I pretend to stay asleep she'll leave.
I carefully open one eye, trying to see what's going on. I see a figure sitting on the edge of my bed, and my eyes fly open. That is definitely not Chloe.
"Who are you?" I ask, sitting up fast. I go to stand up, and realize I'm not wearing anything. I pull some of the covers up over my chest.
Why is there a pretty red-headed woman sitting on my bed? And why is she in a similar state of undress?
She turns, and looks at me. She almost looks terrified.
"I'm...I'm Willow." Her voice is shaking. "And I'm pretty sure I'm your wife."
Well that does it. All thoughts of my hang-over are gone. Bits of memory are coming back to me. I danced with this girl, with this woman, in the bar last night. We were both pretty drunk and then...
"Did you just say you're my wife?"
She nods. "I am if you're Clark Kent. And actually I really hope you are. Because otherwise I got married to a complete stranger, and then slept with another one. And I really don't want that to be my life." As she talks she looks around the room for something. She stands up, a sheet wrapped tightly around her, and makes her way to a pile of clothes on the floor. She dresses quickly and I avert my eyes.
---
"I'm Clark. But there has to be some some sort of mistake. There's no way that I got married."
Willow raises her hand and a gold band flashes on her finger. "Well, this ring and this marriage certificate say we are. And you've got a ring too."
She points at my hand, and I stare at it. There's a wedding ring there.
I actually got married.
My parents are going to kill me.
"Would you mind putting some clothes on?" She asks, throwing me a pair of pants and a shirt.
"Oh, right. Thanks."
She turns her back and I pull them on.
"So, what are we going to do?" I ask after a moment.
"I don't know."
Suddenly the door connecting my room to Chloe's bursts open.
"Clark!" Chloe calls as she enters the room, "Get a move on, it's almost..." Her voice trails off as a look of shook crosses her face. I'm too embarrassed to meet her eyes.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She looks from me to Willow and then back again. Her face bright red, she backs out of the room. "I'll just come back later then." She quickly closes the door, leaving me alone once more with my wife.
I'm so completely screwed.
3- No JealousyOh my dear god.
I just want to scrub my eyes.
I can't believe that I just walked in on Clark and some girl.
Better than walking in on Clark and Lana, but still.
I try to tell myself that they were just talking or something. But I can't make myself believe that. Clark was quite obviously wearing the same clothes that he had worn the night before. And they looked pretty rumpled. There was also tension. A lot of tension.
I think Clark might have had a one-night stand.
I could be off-base. I mean, it is Clark Kent after all. I hope I'm wrong. But part of me knows that I'm not.
Clark spent the night with some girl he met at the casino. Actually, I didn't get that good of a look at her, but don't think she was a girl. I think Clark slept with an older woman.
I shake my head in disbelief. I can't wait to hear the story behind this one. And I will get it. I'll drag it from Clark somehow. After all, I am a reporter. In a few months I'll be starting on my journalism degree at Metropolis University.
A thought strikes me then: I'm not jealous.
I just found out that Clark probably slept with a stranger, and I'm not jealous.
I actually think it's kind of funny.
Clark isn't the type to do something like this though. I wonder what happened. He sort of disappeared last night. Then again, I didn't search to hard for him. I spent most of the time in Lex's room.
Lex.
I guess he's the reason that I'm not upset about Clark sleeping with some woman. It's not like were dating or anything. But I'm interested in him. And despite the fact that I'm quite a few years younger, I think he might just be interested in me too. It's kind of hard to tell with Lex, but he's been paying a lot of attention to me lately, and we've been hanging out fairly often.
I doubt anything is going to happen. Not only is he older than me, but he's Dad's boss. Besides, me thinking he might be interested is probably just wishful thinking on my part.
Handsome, intelligent, billionaire Lex Luthor, interested in recent high school graduate Chloe Sullivan?
Not going to happen.
The door connecting my room to Clark's swings open, and Clark pokes his head in. He looks embarrassed, but really worried as well. I start to get a sinking feeling in my stomach.
Something is definitely wrong.
"Chloe, could you come in here for a second. We've kind of got a problem, and I'm not entirely sure what to do."
What in the heck is going on?
I nod and follow him into his room. The woman is pacing the room, nervously chewing on her bottom lip. Clark is standing by the bed, looking like he wants to die.
"What's wrong? What's going on?"
"Um...Willow, this is Chloe. Chloe, this is Willow." Clark finally says in way of introductions.
"Okay. Nice to meet you, Willow." I'm really not entirely sure what I'm supposed to say to the woman who just had sex with my best friend. If that
is what happened; I'm still not clear on that issue.Willow nods in my direction, "Nice to meet you too." She says it distractedly, and continues her pacing.
"Clark, are you going to tell me what's going on?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. I'm really not comfortable being here, and would like to leave. We're supposed to be meeting the others for lunch, but I have a feeling that isn't going to happen.
"Chloe," Clark begins. "Last night I went to the bar, and I got really drunk."
"What?!" Who is the man standing before me, and what has he done with my best friend? Clark is not the getting drunk type.
"I was pretty upset about... some stuff," he continues. I can see him mentally debating whether or not to tell me what he was upset about. I'll have to get it out of him later. It must have been pretty bad to get him to drink.
There's a long pause before he speaks again. "Chloe...Willow and I got married last night."
Oh. My. God.
---
I'm almost at a loss of words, which is pretty rare for me. "You got married?" My best friend is a moron. I mean, I knew that before, but I didn't think he was quite *this* stupid. "Why in the hell did you get married?"
"We were both really drunk," Willow has finally stopped pacing. "Clark and I were both in the bar, and apparently we just decided to get married. I don't actually remember much of last night. But we have the rings and the marriage certificate to prove it."
The expression on her face makes my heart go out to her. She looks so lost and confused and upset.
---
"Clark," I say. "You're parents are absolutely going to kill you."
"I know that, Chloe." Clark shakes his head, "They'd be mad enough just at the drinking, but that I could cover-up. How are they going to react to their 18-year-old son getting married to a stranger?"
How could this get any worse?
"Wait," Willow turns to face Clark, an unreadable expression on her face. "You're only 18? Oh goddess. I married a teenager."
Okay, well this might be a little bit worse now.
4- Telling Them
So, I married an 18-year-old boy.
I married a boy.
This is just bad.
It just goes to show that you should never ever get drunk. Either you turn into a cave-woman or you wake up married to a barely-legal stranger.
Stupid alcohol with it's tempting numbness.
I really don't want to be married.
I want this all to be some dream. I want to wake up and be back in the hotel room I'm sharing with Buffy. I don't even care if I'm really hung over. I just want to be dreaming.
But I'm not.
I'm actually married. I've done some pretty stupid things in my life, but this is definitely up there on the top ten list. I got really drunk to forget my heartache, and I just end up in a worse situation.
I look at Clark and his friend Chloe. They both seem like nice people, they really do. But I wish that I had never met them. This whole thing is just a complication that I don't need. Xander and Buffy are going to freak.
Xander and Buffy.
Oh goddess. They're probably pretty worried. I didn't come back to the room last night. If I know my friends, they'll be going out of their heads.
"I have to go." I say hurriedly.
"What?" Clark asks, a confused look on his face.
"I'll be back," I assure him. "I know that we still have to work all this stuff out. But I never made it back to the room last night, since you and I were...occupied."
I pause, as Clark looks down at the floor, blushing.
"My friends will be worried. I have to tell them what's going on."
Chloe puts a reassuring hand on Clark's shoulder, and I wonder briefly if there is something between them. There must not be. After all, she's taking this very well, which is not something you do if your boyfriend ends up married.
"It'll be fine, Clark. We'll call Lex. He'll be able to think of something to get you guys out of this."
I watch as Clark's expression clears, and he nods.
"Alright. Go see your friends. We'll handle this once they know you're all right. Do you want support or anything. I mean, I can come if you want me to."
I immediately shake my head. That is just a bad idea. "No, that's okay. You don't want to be there when my friends find out."
"Why not?"
"They might try to kill you."
"Ah. That's a pretty good reason."
"I'll be back as soon as I can." With that, I turn and walk out of the room. It takes me a minute to get my bearings, but after a moment I figure out where I am and head back to my room.
I can't find my key, so I knock, hoping that someone is there to answer. After a few seconds the door is opened, and I immediately find myself encased in the hug of a slayer. A very tight hug.
"Buffy," I manage to get out. "I need to breathe."
"Sorry!" she pulls away, her blue eyes filled with relief. She brushes a piece of hair behind one ear. "Where were you? Xander and I were worried about you."
As I step into the room, the bathroom door opens, and Xander comes out. He just stares at me for a second, and then I'm caught in another hug.
"God, Wills. We were so worried about you. Why'd you go and scare us like that."
When he finally releases me from the hug, I go and sit on the edge of the bed.
"Guys, I'm really sorry that I scared you and all. I just...I got a little drunk last night, and some stuff happened."
A slow grin crosses Xander's face. "Oh, did somebody have *lucky* night?"
I feel my face getting bright red, and I can't meet my friends' eyes.
"Oh my god!" Buffy exclaims. "You did! You hooked up with some girl last night, didn't you."
"Not exactly," I murmur. "It was a guy. And we didn't just hook up. We got married."
5-Friendship
Willow got married.
Willow got drunk and then married a stranger.
That's not exactly a thing I ever thought would happen.
I mean, it's Willow.
Out of all of us, I'd have thought her the least likely to do something this stupid. I mean, Xander I can see, but Willow? She's supposed to be the smart one.
I can't help but feel a little bit responsible. I should have paid more attention to what was going on last night. But all three of us were just lost in our own little worlds.
Of course Xander and I only managed to lose some money gambling. Willow got herself a husband.
Which is also kind of strange. I thought she was done with men. I didn't think she'd go for a guy, even if she was drunk.
Some guy got Willow drunk and took advantage of her. I'm going to rip his limbs off one by one.
"Where is this guy, Willow? I'm going to go kill him."
"And I'll help!" Xander volunteers, "My depth perception might suck, but I'll rely on anger to guide me."
Willow's face goes dark, and I have a sinking feeling that Xan and I aren't going to get to do any beating.
"It's not his fault. Clark was drunk too. Neither of us are happy about this. We can't even really remembered what happened." Willow's resolve face in now firmly in place.
Crap. This means no violence.
"You really don't remember anything, Wills?" Xander asks.
"Not much. I had a lot of drinks. And there was some dancing involved. And then apparently marriage and sex. But I don't remember the last two things. I've been trying so hard, but..." she trails off looking thoughtful. "There's a spell I can do. It will help me remember what happened."
I don't know about this. "Whoa, Willow. You and memory spells? They tend to lead to badness."
When Willow looks at me again there are tears in her eyes. "I know that, Buffy. I do. But I can't remember my own marriage. It's just a black spot. I have to do this."
I move to sit by her on the bed, and put my arm around her. "Hey. Hey. It's okay. If you want to do the spell, that's fine. Xander and I will help in anyway we can."
She smiles and brushes the tears off her face. "Thanks. I don't think I need any help. It's not complicated. It just involves some chanting. Would you and Xander mind stepping out of the room so I can do this? I need to concentrate."
"Sure, Buffy and I will be in my room." Xander gives Willow a reassuring smile and heads toward the door.
---
"Can you believe this?" Xander asks as we step into his room.
"It's a big bunch of crazy," I flop down on Xander's bed. "Willow may think this guy was as drunk as she was, but if this spell makes her remember otherwise..."
Xander nods, "I'll be right there with you, with the pummeling."
Resolve face or no, if it turns out that this Clark took advantage of Willow, I'm going to kill him. One of the advantages of Slayer strength is that I can actually follow through on that threat.
"We don't have good luck when it comes to encounters with alcohol do we?"
"Well, she didn't turn into a cave-woman. That's a good thing." Xander lays down beside me on the bed. "We've gotten through worse than this, Buff. This is just a stupid human-type mistake."
"That's kind of what worries me. I know how to deal with hellmouths and demons. I can't take down drunken marriages with a wooden stake and a bottle of holy water.'
"That's very true. But you want a laugh?"
"What do you have in mind."
"Just imagine Giles' facial expression when he finds out about all this."
Despite the circumstances I can't help but laugh. "Oh, god. You're right. He's going to be all British and tongue-clucky."
"Well, he did warn us not to go to Vegas. He's never going to let this one go."
"Poor Willow."
"Hey, poor us too. You just know we'll be taking some of the blame for this."
"Oh, Xander. What are we going to do?"
"I don't know." I feel Xander reach over and grab my hand. "You know, if this was anyone else, I'd be laughing right now."
I squeeze his hand tightly. "Well, we can't do that. Maybe in a couple of years. But not now. Right now we just have to be there for her."
And we will be. Because we always are. Sunnydale might be gone. But our friendships will last forever.
6 – Complications
I've learned to deal with a lot of rather odd things when it comes to Clark Kent. But I must say that this one caught me off guard. I never thought I'd be hurrying to his hotel room after receiving a desperate and semi-incoherent phone call asking for help.
It was something to do about getting drunk and marrying someone.
Part of me thinks this has to be a joke. Clark doesn't drink. And he's certainly not irresponsible enough to get married.
Then again, Clark really isn't the type to pull practical jokes either.
I knock on the door to his hotel room, and when he answers I can tell be the look on his face that this isn't a joke.
"I got married," he says simply. He looks as bewildered as I feel.
---
When I step into the room I notice a certain blonde reporter sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at the floor.
He married Chloe.
I'm going to kill him.
Wait.
Why do I care if it's Chloe he married? I make a mental note to flesh that thought out later. Right now isn't the time.
"So," I say, keeping my voice level. "You two got married."
Chloe immediately jerks her head up. "What? No...no no no. Clark and I didn't get married. Clark got married. Do I look that stupid to you?" She pauses than smiles at Clark apologetically, "No offense."
Clark doesn't say anything, he just shoots her a look before turning back to me.
"What do I do?"
I honestly don't know what he expects me to do. It's not like I've ever been in this situation. But, as always, Clark is turning to me for advice. And, as always, I feel compelled to help him.
"Okay. Just try to explain to me everything that happened."
Clark takes a deep breath before sitting down on a nearby chair. "Alright. Last night I used the fake ID you gave me, and I got really drunk."
Shit. I didn't actually expect any of them to use their IDs. They aren't exactly a drinking type of group. I had them made just in case someone wanted to put a quarter in the slots or something like that. I never would have guessed that Clark would use it to get drunk.
"Clark, I have to ask. Why were you drinking last night? I've never know you to touch alcohol before."
Clark refuses to meet my eyes, "I just felt like getting drunk."
Okay, there is definitely more too it than that. But he obviously doesn't want to get into it right now. Knowing Clark, it probably was something to do with Lana.
"What happened next?" I ask, letting him off the hook some.
"I started dancing with a girl who was also pretty drunk. The next thing I can remember is waking up next to her in bed this morning. There was a marriage certificate next to the bed, and we're both wearing wedding bands."
Jesus.
I'm going to get blamed for this.
Jonathan Kent is going to murder me.
I run my hand over my head, and began to pace the room. "Well, I don't think it will be too hard to deal with this. It should be easy enough to get a divorce from this... What's the girl's name?"
"Willow Rosenberg. Well, actually it's Willow Kent now."
"Alright, you and Willow should be able to get a divorce rather quickly. The only thing I'd worry about is your parent's reaction. Have you told them yet?"
Clark shook his head. "No, and that's not exactly a conversation I'm ready to have right now."
I've really grown close to Clark during the past four years. I like the kid a lot. He's got a good heart. But he can be incredibly stupid. I've seen him do some very careless things. This situation tops them all though. An 18-year-old should not be thinking about divorce. Part of me feels quite bad for him, but another part of me wants to smack him upside the head.
There's a knock on the door. Chloe goes to open it, and a short, pretty red-head enters the room. This must be Willow. She looks at least a couple years older than Clark, but she can't be more than 22 or 23. She looks just a miserable as Clark. But there's another emotion there too. One that I can't identify.
Willow ignores me and goes straight to Clark.
"We need to talk. Right now."
"Okay," Clark stands up.
"Lex, could you and Chloe leave for a minute?"
"Sure," I nod and Chloe and I quickly make an exit.
"Clark Kent got himself married." I say, shaking my head, as we enter Chloe's room. "I can't believe it."
"Yeah, who would have thought that Clark would go and get that wasted." Chloe lets out a laugh. "Mr. Kent is going to kill you, you do know that, right?"
I groan. "Yes, Miss Sullivan. The thought had crossed my mind."
Chloe rolled her eyes, "For the last time, *Mr. Luthor,* call me Chloe. Your father calls me Miss Sullivan. I don't want to deal with it from you too. We've become friends over this last year, haven't we? I think it's alright if you call me by my first name."
"Of course. Chloe. I'm sorry. I'm not thinking all that clearly right now."
A grin crosses Chloe's face as she takes a step toward me. "Ohhh...the great Lex Luthor is shaken up. I can't believe it. If I knew this would happen I would have found a way to get Clark drunk a long time ago."
"Come on, Chloe. You can't tell me that you weren't a little taken aback by this whole thing. After all, this is Clark we're talking about. Considering your past with him..."
Chloe's eyes flash with anger. "That's hitting below the belt, Luthor. Anyway, I don't have feelings for Clark anymore. We're just friends."
I move forward, closing the gap between us. "Is that so? You mean to tell me that you weren't even the *littlest* bit jealous to hear that Clark Kent got married?"
"Weren't you?" Chloe asks with a smirk.
Without even thinking I grab her and pull her towards me, placing a kiss on her lips. She stiffens for a moment, then responds, returning the kiss full force.
After what seems like an eternity we both pull apart.
"Chloe, I was only jealous when I thought that he married you."
7 – Revealed
"Willow, what is it?" My new wife is standing in front of me with the oddest expression on her face.
"You're an alien."
"No, I'm not!" My response is immediate; a reflex. It doesn't even sound remotely convincing.
"You are too!" Willow crosses her arms over her chest, looking at me defiantly.
"Willow, I don't know what you're talking about."
"I remember. Last night. You told me you were an alien. You showed me what you could do."
Well, crap.
This is bad.
"You...you obviously had some sort of weird dream or something. That must be what you're remembering."
Willow shakes her head, "Clark, you're a horrible, horrible liar. Hell, you're a worse liar than I am, which I didn't really think was possible."
There's no way I'm going to get out of this one.
"How'd you remember, anyway?" I ask. "The night's still one big blur for me."
"I did a spell. I can recall everything that happened now."
Wait.
"You did a what?"
"A spell." A tight small crosses Willow's face. "I'm a witch."
Okay. I married a crazy person.
"A witch?" I make not effort to hide my disbelief. "There's no such thing as witches."
Willow glares at me, and I can see real anger in her eyes. "You're an *alien,* but you don't believe me when I tell you I'm a witch?"
She does have a point. But still...
"Come on, Willow. You have to admit it's a little farfetched. I mean it's not like--OW!"
I just got hit in the head with a book.
It didn't really hurt me or anything, but it's not like I was expecting it. If I hadn't been so distracted, I probably would have heard it flying across the room.
Flying...
across...
the room...
"What just happened."
"I hit you in the head with a book," Willow says, a slight smile on her face.
"How? And also, why?"
"I told you, I'm a witch, and you were being a jerk." She looks down at the book on the floor, and it rises into the air. It moves across the room before coming to rest on the night stand by the bed.
"You hit me in the head with a book!"
"Yes. Yes, I did."
I sigh and sit down on the edge of the bed.
My life has just gotten way more complicated. Which, quite frankly, I didn't think was possible.
My wife is some kind of crazy, violent, witch.
---
That sentence is wrong in so many different ways.
Let's break it down:
Witch. *Wrong*
Crazy and violent. *Wrong*
My wife. *Very, very, very wrong.*
And to top it all off she knows my secret. She's one of six people who know about it. And that's including me.
Mom and Dad are going to freak out.
"You can't tell anyone."
Willow gives me a questioning look. "I can't tell anyone about what?"
"The fact that I'm not human. There aren't many people who know about it. It has to stay a secret."
Willow nods. She can probably hear the desperation in my voice. Her expression softens somewhat. "Don't worry, Clark. I won't tell anyone. I have practice keeping secrets like this."
I can't even begin to imagine what kind of secrets could be like this one, and I don't really want to ask.
There is silence for a minute. Both of us are lost in thought.
"So," I ask eventually. "What else to do you remember."
A look of panic crosses Willow's face, and immediately my heart begins to race. She bits her lip and sits down on the bed next to me.
"Okay," she begins. "Here's the thing. I haven't been with a guy in some time. My last few relationships...they've been with women."
My wife is a lesbian?
"So, we had sex. But the problem is, because of the whole 'I've been dating women' thing, I'm not on birth control."
Please tell me this isn't happening.
"And I'm pretty sure that we didn't use a condom last night."
My wife is a crazy, violent, lesbian witch who might be pregnant.
I'm so completely screwed.
8 – Defending Her Honor
Normally, if someone I knew got drunk and married in Los Vegas, I would laugh at them.
But I can't laugh at Willow. Not only do I feel really bad for her, but if I laughed, she'd kill me.
Willow's been my best friend since kindergarten. I love her more than anything else in my life. We've stood by each other through the worst of times, and the best of times. We've been through so much together. We've grown and we've changed. She's very different than the girl I used to know. But she'll still always be my Wills.
And now she's married.
She's married to some guy that she doesn't even know.
I don’t care if Willow says he didn't take advantage of her. I'm still going to kill him. I may not be much good against demons and vampires, but I'm pretty sure that I can take on an 18-year-old kid. Even with the crappy depth-perception I'm stuck with now.
Really, I just want to hit something right now, anything. Apparently, the spell worked. Willow ran into my room, told Buffy and me she remembered everything, and then just ran out again. With the look of panic in her eyes, she must have remembered something bad.
The phone rings, and I rush to it, answering it in the middle of the second ring.
"Willow? Is that you?"
"Yeah, Xan. It's me."
I can tell from the sound of her voice that something is wrong. Well, obviously, quite a bit of stuff is wrong. But there's something new in her voice. It scares me.
"Willow, what is it? Are you in trouble, did he hurt you?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Xander. Calm down. Clark didn't hurt me. Of course he didn't. But I need you and Buffy to come to the room. We've got to talk. We're in room 514."
"Okay, Willow. We'll be right there. I promise."
I hang up the phone and turn to Buffy.
"Come on, we've gotta go?"
"Do I get to beat this guy up now?" Buffy asks.
I smile grimly. "I don’t think so. Not yet anyway."
We get to the room, and Buffy knocks on the door. She's pounding so hard that I'm surprised it doesn't break.
The door opens, and Willow is standing in front of us. The look on her face just makes me want to hug her. And I do, pulling her into my arms. Over her shoulder I see a tall, dark haired boy. He's standing awkwardly by the bed. It must be her husband.
Willow pulls away, and ushers Buffy and I into the room.
"Clark, this is Buffy and Xander. Guys, this is Clark Kent."
Clark.
I hate him already.
He's all tall, and muscular, and young, with his red flannel shirt. He looks like a farmer. Actually, what he looks like is a magazine model dressed up like a farmer.
"Hi," he says nervously. "It...It's nice to meet you."
I hate him and his good manners.
Buffy marches straight up to him. "So you married Willow, huh?"
To his credit, he does managed to look ashamed. "Yeah. I guess I kind of did."
"You got her drunk on purpose, didn't you?" I ask, angrily.
"Xander!"
I turn around to face Willow, and she's glaring at me. "What?"
"I got drunk all on my own, Xander. I already told you that. Clark isn't any more at fault for all of this than I am."
"Sure he is. He's a guy." And it may not sound like the most damning evidence, but in my head it all makes sense. I can't believe that Willow doesn't understand that. She should be hating this guy, not protecting him.
"Xander, look at me."
Crap. She wearing her resolve face.
"Look, I'm really sorry that all of this happened."
Oh, great. Farmboy is talking.
"Neither Willow or I meant for this to happen," he continues. "I mean, don't usually even drink. It was all a big mistake. But we're working on a way to fix it...only..." he trails off.
He's hiding something.
I'm going to kill him.
"Willow, what's up?" Buffy asks, putting a comforting hand on Willow's shoulder.
I watch my friend, and realize she's looking even paler than usual. She's biting her lip nervously, and for a minute, I'm reminded of the Willow I knew in High School. Awkward, eager to please, painfully shy. Seeing her act that way again, I feel like my heart is stopped in my chest. What else could possibly be going on? How could there be anything else to add to this mess?
It can't really get any worse.
Okay, that was a really stupid thought.
If my years on the Hellmouth taught me anything, it's that there is *always* something worse.
Usually several things.
"Will, come on. You know you can tell us anything," I walk over and put my arm around her, leading her to the bed. "Just sit down and tell us what's going on."
"Well, you and Buffy know that I haven't dated any guys since Oz, right?"
Buffy and I exchange glances. I can tell we're both thinking the same thing. Where is this going?
Willow continues, "Since my last two relationships have both been with women...well....I'mnotonbirthcontrol."
Please tell me I heard that wrong.
Please tell me this isn't going where I think it is.
Willow looks up at me, and I feel a cold dread building in my stomach.
"It's only a slim chance. But there is a slight possibility that I could be pregnant."
He got my Willow drunk and slept with her, and he didn't even use protection?!
Resolve face be damned.
This guy is going down.
I can see the anger building in Buffy's face, but I beat her to it.
Turning around, I haul back and punch the son-of-a-bitch directly in the face.
"Fuck!"
My fist throbs in pain, while Clark stands there like I didn't even touch him.
Jesus, it was like punching a brick wall.
What in the hell is going on?
9 – BetrayalI haven't been this happy for a long time. Or this conflicted.
I spent last night with Lana.
Well, I didn't "spend the night" spend the night. But we were together in her room most of the night, talking and kissing.
And it was great...but I can't help but feel guilty.
Clark is going to freak when he finds out. He has a right to, actually.
I mean, I hooked up with the girl he's had a crush on for years, the girl he almost had a relationship so many times.
We didn't mean for it to happen. Neither of us would purposely hurt Clark. And this will hurt him. The guy can take a bullet to the chest with no damage. But it isn't going to be pretty when he finds out about this.
Lana and I are going to have to tell him. I'm keeping enough secrets, I'm not going to add another one to the pile. As much as it's going to suck, we'll have to tell him, and soon.
Because I think this relationship might be serious. I want it to be serious. I really like her.
If you had told me a year ago that I would end up making out with Lana in a hotel in Vegas, I would have laughed in your face. And not just because my best friend was in love with her.
I've always thought that Lana was a nice girl. She's beautiful too, I wasn't blind. But I was into Chloe back then. I never really had a chance with her, but I really did like her. Unfortunately for me, she was too into Clark. I don't really know why. I mean, Clark's my best friend. He's a great guy. But Chloe's my friend too. And Clark treated her pretty badly. And Lana...well, he could just never open up to her. He could never let him into his life. There was no way the two of them could have worked out.
But, at first I just thought of Lana as a acquaintance. Eventually she became a friend, but for a long time that's all I saw her as. And then last night happened. We had been growing closer, but I never expected this.
Lex, Clark, Chloe Lana and I went to a magic show last night. Afterwards, Lana felt like getting some fresh air, and I decided to go with her. I'm still not sure why. We spent a lot of time talking, and before I know it, we were in the hotel hallway, kissing.
Crap.
What am I going to do?
Lana and I agreed that we'd wait until we got back to Smallville to tell everybody. We don't want to ruin Clark's vacation.
So now I have to go and see my best friend and act like I haven't betrayed him.
Way to go me.
I step out of my room and walk across the hall to Clark's. I knock on the door, wondering how I'm going to do this.
A wait a moment, and there isn't an answer. But I can hear voices.
"What the hell is going on?" A voice I don't recognize yells.
I double check I've got the right room, and knock on the door again. "Clark? Clark, it's Pete. Open up, Man!"
The door opens, and Clark motions me inside. He has a weird look on his face and I wonder what could be wrong.
Whoa. There definitely are people in the room. They look older than us, maybe around Luthor's age. A tall brown-haired guy is holding his hand, looking like he's in pain. There are also two women.
Wow. There are two very nice looking women. A red-head and a blonde. Both of them hot. Okay, so I might be seeing Lana now, but it's not like I want to make-out with them or anything. I'm just appreciating their good looks.
What is Clark doing with these people?
"Clark? You okay?
Clark shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. "No, things really aren't going well."
"What's up?" I definitely walked in on something big here. Everyone looks upset. The guy looks like he has something to say, but has obviously stopped himself because I came in.
"Pete, this is Willow, Buffy and Xander. Willow....Willow is my wife."
Huh?
"Willow is your what now?"
"Your friend Clark got Willow drunk and married her. And might have knocked her up!" The guy, Xander, is glaring at Clark. He looks like he wants to kill him.
"Xander!" The red-head, who I think is Willow, yells. "For the last time, Clark didn't get me drunk. It's my fault just as much as his."
I look at Clark, and he must be able to read the confusion on my face, because he explains. "Last night I got really drunk. Apparently, Willow here did too. We met at the bar and the next thing I know, I'm waking up next to her. We got married."
You have got to be kidding me.
Clark Kent got drunk? Clark Kent got drunk enough to get married to a stranger?
That's just all kinds of fucked up.
I walk over to a chair and sit down. "This is big, man. Do you know what you're going to do? Have you told anyone yet?"
"Hey," Willow spoke up again. "We're going to leave you guys alone. I need to have a talk with my friends anyway."
Clark smiles at her gratefully. I can tell that her friends want to protest, but she silences them with a glare.
Once they leave, I turn back to Clark. "Alright, so tell me."
Clark lets out a sigh. "I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do. I'm mean, divorce, annulment....but there are some complications. Willow, she could be pregnant. And...well...she knows."
It takes me a second to figure that last part out.
"Wait, you mean she knows that you're an alien?" I can't keep the shock out of my voice.
"I guess I was showing off last night."
"And she remembers?"
Clark is quiet for a minute. "That's were things get weirder"
I don't like the sound of this.
"Things get weirder?"
"She did some kind of spell to remember what happened."
The hell?
"She did a what?"
"She's a witch." Before I protest, he continues. "I know, I know. I didn't believe her either, not right away. But she showed me some things, and I think she's telling the truth"
"Well, I guess it's not that much harder to believe than the fact that my best friend is an alien." I try to smile a little.
"Lex and Chloe know. But I haven't told my parents yet."
I have to say, I don't want to be anywhere near the Kents when they hear about this. Mr. Kent will want to kill people. He'll probably start with Lex, for taking us to Vegas in the first place.
"What do you think they're going to do?"
"I don't know, Pete. I'm worried. I mean, I've made some stupid mistakes in my life, but this is big. I'm 18 years old. I don't want a divorce hanging over my head. And what if she's pregnant? I don't even know if I can get a girl pregnant, but if she is....I can't just abandon my kid."
"Well, you can't just stay married."
Clark gets a look on his face then, one I know all to well.
"I'm serious, Clark. You can't."
"Why not?" he asks. "If Willow agrees to it. At least until we find out whether there is a baby or not. We could make things work."
Clark has had some stupid plans in his life time. But this one beats 'em all. I don't even know how to try to talk him out of this. I'll leave that to his parents.
But there is another major thing that has been bothering me.
"Clark, why'd you get drunk in the first place."
He stares at me for a long moment, and I get a sinking feeling in my stomach.
"I saw something I never expected to see," he says evenly. "I guess I was just really upset."
Oh, man.
He saw us.
He knows.
10 – SecretsThis is so weird.
I'm sitting on a plane right now.
Okay, so that isn't the weird part.
The weird thing is I'm flying to Smallville, Kansas on a private jet.
Lex Luthor's private jet.
My husband is friends with Lex Luthor. One of the richest guys in the world, and he's friends with my 18-year-old husband.
I'm still dealing with that one.
Buffy and Xander are pissed at me. Clark's friends don't seem to happy either. I think that everyone thinks we're crazy.
I can understand that.
I kind of think we're crazy too.
But, sane or not, we decided to give this marriage a go.
When I pulled Xander and Buffy out of Clark's room, they immediately started to freak out. Especially, Xander. He may not have Slayer strength, but Clark didn't even blink when Xander punched him.
Buffy and Xander accused him of being a demon. It took everything I had to convince them that he isn't. I didn't tell them that he's an alien. Not only would they think I was crazy, but it's not my secret to tell.
Then Clark stuck his head out and said he wanted to talk to me.
I figured that he wanted to discuss divorce options.
I was wrong.
He laid out his plan. We'd give it six months. If I turned out to pregnant, we'd give it 9.
My first thought was that it was one of stupidest plans I'd ever heard.
My second was that I had to agree to it.
I don't know why, but the thought of getting a divorce bothered me. Maybe things would work out. And if not, we'd divorce then. But at least we'd have given it a try. That seems important to me somehow.
Now I'm going to Kansas to meet the parents.
I wonder if they'll hate me.
I'd hate me.
Clark has been repeatedly assuring me that his parents are great, but I'm still nervous as hell.
I got drunk and married their 18-year-old son. That doesn't exactly lead to happy parental feelings.
I drum my fingers on the arm of my seat. Clark is near the back of plane, having what must be a rather intense conversation with his friends. I know they're only a few years younger than me, but it seems like more. Watching them, I'm reminded of Buffy, Xander and I in high school. And that seems like it happened almost a life time ago."Mind if I join you?"
I look up to see Lex Luthor standing beside me. "Please, Mr. Luthor. Have a seat. It is your plane after all."
He smiles and sit down, "Call me Lex. After all, you are my good friend's wife. There's no need to be formal."
I smile a little. "Lex."
"I know it's probably not going to help, but you really shouldn't be so nervous. The Kents are good people. They won't blame you for this."
"I find that I little hard to believe."
"Trust me. I'm the one getting blame for this. And Clark too. But mostly me. Jonathan Kent isn't exactly my biggest fan. And I am the one who thought up the Vegas trip. Not to mention the fact that I provided fake IDs"
I sigh and shake my head. "I can't believe I'm doing this." I glance back to make sure that Clark is still occupied. "What can you tell me about Clark?"
"Clark is a good guy." Lex pauses for a moment before saying more. "That's honestly the best way I can describe him. He's the hero type, always swooping in to save those in need. But he can be... oblivious."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Don't get me wrong, Clark has nothing but the best of intentions. But he's not always aware of how his actions affect others. People have gotten hurt in the past."
"So, basically my husband is a big dummy?"
Lex smirks. "Well, those aren't exactly the words I would use."
"Hey, I've been in relationships with worse."
"I must admit. I'm surprised that you and he are staying married."
"So am I."
"You don't exactly strike me as the farmer's-wife-type."
That's true. I'm more of the killing-demons-with-my-witchy-powers type. But I can't exactly say that to Lex.
"I don't plan on being a farmer's wife. I'll do freelance computer work. Clark said he was already planning on taking year off before going to college. We'll just be living on the Kent farm until we can find an apartment."
"If you need any help, I'm always ready to assist my friends."
I look at him for a long moment, not really knowing what to say. Lex is just so...so smooth. I don't quite trust it. "Thank you, Lex. But I've got plenty of money. Between the account my parents set up, and my own computer work, I think we'll be fine."
"Well, I hope it works out for you."
"Thanks. Are you married?"
Lex smiles grimly. "Not anymore. My wife tried to kill me."
Way to go Willow Nothing like making things incredible awkward. "Oh, god. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Lex says, waving away my apology. "These things happen."
I raise my eyebrows, "These things happen? Have you married a lot of people who've tried to kill you or something?"
"Well, having it be my wife was a new one. But threats on my life are nothing new. I am a Luthor after all." Lex glances at his watch, and then back at me. "We'll be landing pretty soon."
Clark finishes his conversation with his friends, and walks up to us. "Hey, Lex. Could you give us a few moments."
"Of course."
Lex moves to another seat, and Clark sits down.
"Hey. Are you ready to meet them?"
I shrug. "I guess."
"Look, Willow. I know we agreed to give it a few months. But you can back out of it any time you want. I'll understand."
I smile at him. Whatever else he may be, he actually his quite sweet. "I know, Clark. But thank you."
With that, we lapse into silence. Oh god. I can't even keep up a conversation with him. How is this ever going to work?
11- Family
Clark will be home soon.
So will his wife.
I'm a Mother-in-Law.
Clark's put Jonathan and I through a lot, but I'd never thought I'd deal with a phone call like the one I got last night.
"Mom, I got married."
That was the first thing he said. I almost thought he was joking. But Clark doesn't really joke.
Slowly the whole story came out. He had gotten drunk, and married a perfect stranger.
Jonathan, of course, wanted to blame everything on Lex Luthor.
He was ready to kill him.
I don't blame Lex. I'm not happy that he gave my son and his friends fake IDs, but I'm holding Clark responsible for this one. What was he doing, getting drunk?
Jonathan is pacing back and forth.
"Jonathan."
"I'm swear Martha, I'm going to kill him. What was he doing, letting Clark drink?"
"You can't blame this on Lex, Jonathan. Clark is perfectly capable doing stupid things with out Lex's assistance."
"Lex took them to Vegas. And Lex provided them with fake IDs."
"And Clark decided to use it. He screwed up all on his own. Clark is our son, and I love him more than anything in this world. But it's not like he hasn't made mistakes in the past."
"I just can't believe this. Our son is coming home with a wife, Martha. A wife!"
"Would you rather he be divorced at 18?" I ask.
"I'd rather he not be in this situation at all." Jonathan throws his arms in the air, before collapsing onto a nearby chair.
I walk over to him, and place a hand on his shoulder. "We'll get through this. We'll figure something out."
"I'm worried about this girl, this Willow Rosenberg. Face it, our son married some drunken tram-"
"Jonathan Kent!" I slap him lightly on the shoulder in admonishment. He can be judgmental sometimes, but I won't have him talking like that about our daughter-in-law. "You'll be nice to this girl, Jonathan. From what Clark said on the phone this girl is just as worried over the situation as he is. She didn't mean for this to happen any more than Clark did. They decided to stay married for now, and you will not talk about our son's wife like that."
"Fine, fine. I'm sorry." He offers me a sad smile. "I'll be nice. But this girl knows Clark's secret. And if she's a threat to him...I'm not going to let anyone hurt him."
A timer starts to beep, and I head to the kitchen. "That will be the pie."
I can feel Jonathan's eyes on me. "You made a pie?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because we're meeting our daughter-in-law."
"Martha, our son married a stranger after a drunken night in Las Vegas. I don't think that's a situation that calls for pie."
"They'll both be under a lot of stress." I explain. "And we are too. We could all use a nice home cooked meal."
I'm pulling the pie from the oven, when I hear the front-door open.
"Dad? Mom?"
When I hear Clark. I immediately put the pie down on the table, and hurry back into the living room.
"Clark!"
He offers me a worried smile as he sets down two suitcases. A girl steps out from behind him, nervously. She's pretty, with shoulder length red hair, and pale skin. She's quite a bit shorter Clark. She isn't what I imagined. I'm not sure what I thought she would be, but this pretty, nervous girl, who looks younger than her 24 years, isn't it.
"You must be Willow," I walk over to her and offer my hand. "I'm Martha Kent. This is my husband Jonathan." I motion to Jonathan, who has come to stand next to me.
"It's nice to meet you both," Willow says quietly.
I pull Clark into a tight hug. I may be angry and disappointed, but he's still my son.
"Why don't we all go into the kitchen. Dinner's ready and I just pulled a pie out of the oven."
"That sounds great, Mom." My boy looks so lost that I'm not sure what to do.
The four of us head to the kitchen, for what I'm sure will be the most awkward dinner of my life.
12 – Dinner Talk
I don't like her.
Martha told me to behave myself, and I will.
But I just don't like her.
And of course, Martha made a special dinner. Not to mention pie. She actually made pie for this girl.
"The food looks delicious, Mrs. Kent." Willow seems to be trying hard to be pleasant, trying too hard if you ask me.
"Thank you Willow. You can call me Martha."
"I'm not really used to homemade meals. This is really nice."
"I take it your mother isn't one for cooking." Martha says as she sets a pitcher of water on the table. I can't believe she's making small talk like this.
Willow looks down at the table, and if I didn't know better, I might actually be concerned for her.
"My parents weren't around much when I was growing up."
Oh no, she's appealing to Martha's love of strays.
I'm going to be out numbered in my dislike of this girl. I can already tell that Martha is going to take her under her wing. And Clark...Clark tends to see the world in black and white. People are either evil, or they do no wrong. And he's always been a sucker for a pretty face. It probably
stems from his interest in Lana, but Clark often thinks that pretty equals good."Have you told you parents about your...situation...yet?"
Of course Martha would put it that politely. I would have been more likely to say 'Have you told your parents that you got my son drunk and corrupted him?'
"Um...no," Willow admits. "I haven't been able to yet. I'm actually not entirely sure where they are right now. I tried to contact them at their new house, but they must be traveling right now, and the cell number I have is outdated."
Well, no wonder she's a drunk. It doesn't sound like she had a very stable family life. Which, of course, is just going to further endear her to my wife.
Watching Martha, I can tell she's searching for something to say, but Willow speaks instead.
"I've, ah, I've never been on a farm before." Willow is obviously trying to change the subject.
"Well, Clark and Jonathan will have to show you around tomorrow," Martha says brightly.
Great. That sounds like fun. Clark can show her around if he wants to, but I have no desire to play delighted host to this girl.
"I have a lot of work tomorrow, Martha. I'm not sure if I'll have time to give a guided tour."
Martha shoots me a harsh look, "Oh, I'm sure you can make time. There are more important things then chores after all."
Yeah, like talking my son out of this crazy plan of his.
"Willow and I were actually talking about starting to look for an apartment tomorrow," Clark says.
"There's plenty of time for that later. You can stay here as long as you like."
It takes everything I have not to state my disagreement with that.
"There's always the apartment above the Talon," Martha suggests. " I'm sure Lana would let you stay there."
Yes, of course. Because Clark should stay in the apartment above the shop owned by the girl he was in love with. With his new wife. I know Martha's heart is in the right place, but I can't imagine what she was thinking with that suggestion.
"I don't think that's a great idea, Mom." Clark looks downcast.
There is silence for a long moment.
"So, Willow. Are you still in school?" Martha is trying to steer the conversation back to more comfortable topics.
"I'm actually just a couple credits short of my degree. I thought I'd pick up a class or two at Metropolis University. I was at UC Sunnydale. But after Tara died I...I took sometime off. And since the town collapsed, I haven't found a new school."
"Was Tara your sister?" My wife's voice is filled with concern.
Willow doesn't answer right away, and I see her glance at Clark. He grimaces a little and shrugs his shoulders. I know I'm not going to like what comes next.
"Actually, Tara was my girlfriend."
I nearly spit out my coffee, "She was your *what*?"
"My girlfriend." Willow's voice is stronger now, and I can hear the challenge in her voice. I just know that she's waiting for me to be a homophobic hick, and it pisses me off.
She's acting like I don't have a right to be surprised that the girl who is married to my son used to date girls. I'm about to tell her exactly that, when Martha shoots me a look. I bite back my comment just in time. Martha and I are going to have enough to talk about later, I don't need her all worked up about anything that I say.
"Well," I say, trying to keep my voice even. "Is there anything else that we should know about our new daughter-in-law?"
Another look passes between Willow and Clark. I notice Clark shake his head slightly.
"Don't grill her, Dad. You'll have plenty of time to get to know her."
Great. Because that's just what I want. Because what gives a father more pleasure than getting to know the drunk irritating girl that married his teenage son in Vegas?
"Willow, I made-up the guest room for you." Martha fidgets uncomfortably with her silverware. "I wasn't quite sure what to do about the rooming situation, but I thought that separate rooms...."
"Separate rooms will be okay," Willow says.
"You're damn right they will be!"
"Jonathan!"
"Dad!"
Martha and Clark admonish me simultaneously. But I don’t care. Those two will not be sharing a bedroom while there are under my roof. I'm not even comfortable with the thought of them sharing when they get their own apartment. But Clark's 18, and there isn't anything I can do about that. I can, however, control what happens in my house. And I'm not doing anything to encourage this marriage.
Martha was actually glad to hear that Willow and Clark are going to try to work it out. But as far as I'm concerned, the sooner this is all over, the better.
"I'm sorry, Willow."
"Don't apologize for me, Martha. I'm sitting through this dinner, just like you wanted, but I'm not going to pretend to be happy about it. I'm not going to make small talk, like this is just a friend that Clark has brought by for dinner. It's his *wife*. He's drunken mistake of a wife."
I look at Clark. "Son, you're 18. You should be more responsible than this. You promised you'd be careful when you told us that Lex was taking you to Vegas. And you come back married. I mean, I should have expected something bad to happen, with Lex involved, but..."
"Lex isn't to blame for this," Clark says, cutting me off. "It's my own fault. I got drunk all on my own. I sure didn't want to end up married at 18. And I really didn't want it to be to someone who I don’t even really like. But I'm to blame for it. Not Lex. Why do you always have to blame him for..."
Clark stops talking as Willow bolts for the table, tears filling her eyes. She leaves the kitchen and I hear the living room door slam.
Damnit. I just know that Martha is going to blame this on me.
13- Lost Girl
When I first saw Buffy and Xander step off of the plane, with no Willow in sight, I was worried. A thousand different scenarios ran through my mind when I saw the expressions on their faces.
Not a single one of those scenarios involved Willow moving to Kansas to be with her new husband. I was tempted to book the next flight I could and go rescue Willow from Smallville, but the others assured me that Willow would not appreciate it.
Apparently she'll be coming back here next week to pack up some of her possesions. I hope to be able to talk to her then. But Willow is a very head strong young woman. If she's really made up her mind to do this, I doubt that anyone of us will be able to talk her out of it.
Willow has changed so much from the young girl who walked into my library so many years ago. It feels like a whole other lifetime. I saw myself, in her shyness and inquisitiveness. Not my younger self of course. I was a stupid little git when I was her age. Xander, Buffy, Dawn...I love them all like they were my own children. But Willow is also a kindred spirit. Not as much as she once was perhaps, but there is still much of me inside of her.
It isn't that I didn't think Willow would ever get married. If Tara hadn't died, I'm sure the two of them would have had a commitment ceremony, or a hand fasting. I had even hoped that I would one day be asked to walked her down the aisle. But of all the people in our little 'family' Willow is the last person I thought would do something so reckless.
I suppose that none of us realized how upset Willow was over her breakup with Kennedy. Kennedy was very... abrasive. I was surprised when she and Willow started dating. They seemed so very different from each other. I thought that it wasn't serious. But I suppose now that it must have been.
Still, it is hard to imagine Willow going off and getting intoxicated. I've never known her to act like that before. I know that she and the others kept things from me when they were teenagers, but I doubt I would have overlooked something like a drinking problem.
I'm laying blame on Buffy and Xander for this. They should have kept a better eye on her. They knew she was upset over Kennedy. I know that they were just trying to have a relaxing vacation, but I would like to think that they're responsible young adults. They should have been watching out for each other, and not gallivanting around on their own, letting god-knows-what happen to Willow.
I'm aware of how unreasonable that sounds. Neither of them could have predicted that Willow would act like that. And, despite some of the events of the past few years, I'd still say that Willow is one of the most responsible young women I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
I'm very interested in meeting this 'Clark Kent.' Buffy tells me he's only 18 years old. He just graduated High School. Which means, of course, that he was drinking illegally. I can't imagine that his parents are very pleased with him. I hope, at least, that he comes from a good family. This ridiculous decision of a trial marriage is going to require a lot of support. Willow won't be getting that from her own parents.
A part of me wants to go to Smallville and release Ripper on Mr. Kent. As a warning if nothing else. I was surprised to hear that Buffy managed to restrain herself from hurting the boy. Apparently, Xander did hit him. But only ended up hurting himself. The overprotective father in me, as well as the always suspicious Watcher, thinks that perhaps I should try to do some research on Clark Kent.
The idea to call Angel is probably not the most reasonable one I've ever had. But Angel does work as a private investigator, after all. Of sorts anyway. I don't know if he actually had any talent for it. Somehow I think Cordelia and Wesley probably handled most of the actual 'investigation part.
I hope that Angel doesn't pick up. I'd be much better off talking to Wesley, or one of the others. It's a shame Cordelia is no longer there. She matured a lot while working Angel. She's actually become quite competent. Despite the amount to which she used to irritate me, I was distraught to learn that she had fallen into a coma.
"Angel Investigations. We help the hopeless."
"Wesley, thank god."
"Mr. Giles?"
"I think by now you can probably call me Rupert."
"Yes. Yes, of course. Is there something we can help you with...Rupert. Would you like to talk to Angel?"
"No," I answer quickly. "You'll do fine. I have a name I'd like you to research for me."
"Demon? Warlock?"
"Teenage boy from Kansas, actually."
"Ex...excuse me?"
"His name is Clark Kent. K-E-N-T. He lives in Smallville, Kansas. I want you to see if you can find any information on him. Anything unusual or dangerous."
"May I ask why?"
"He's Willow's new husband," I explain."
There is a slight pause on the other end of the line. "Her...husband. But I was under the impression that she...I mean...that she was..."
"Yes, so were we all. But there was an incident involving some alcohol in Los Vegas, and now she seems to be married. She's decided to give the marriage a try. She's in Smallville at this moment."
"Oh dear."
"Indeed."
"Do you actually think this boy might pose a danger to Miss Rosenberg?"
I sigh. It's a fair question. "I'm not sure. In all honesty, Wesley, I'm probably over-reacting. But I just want to make sure."
"Of course. I'll see what we can find. I'll call you back as soon as we find anything."
"Thank you, Wesley."
"Of course."
Another question occurs to me. "Has there been any more news on Cordelia."
There is another pause, and when Wesley speaks again, I can hear the pain in his voice. "No," he answers quietly. "There hasn't been. We've tried every spell we can think of, but there hasn't been any change. The doctors...The doctors don't think that she'll ever awaken."
I've seen too many good people fall in my lifetime. "I'm sorry, Wesley."
"Thank you."
As I hang up the phone, I can't help but think about all the ways in which Wesley has changed as well. When he was first assigned as Buffy's new Watcher, I never imagined that he would be anything other than utterly useless. But the man I just spoke through is nothing like the obnoxious, inexperience young Watcher who first entered my library. Five years can change a person a lot. Especially when you live the kind of life we live.
There is a very small part of me that hopes this marriage works out for Willow. Maybe this is what she needs to finally escape the world of demons and darkness that she's lived in for eight years now.
Buffy, Xander, Dawn. I wish they'd all get away from it. They don't need to keep fighting, not with all the Slayers called. But for some reason, they stayed. We've all stayed. Despite the pain, the risk, the loss. We've all stayed.
Maybe Willow will finally have a chance at a normal life.
14 – Home?I'm sitting in a rental car in front of Buffy's house in Cleveland. It's weird, but I’m actually nervous about going inside. I'm here to pack up my stuff, so I can ship it all out to Smallville. It's also an opportunity to say goodbye to everyone.
Clark insisted on coming with me. I'm not entirely sure why. I think he's trying to be supportive, which is kinda sweet, if a little annoying. After that disastrous first dinner at the Kent farm last week, I really thought that this whole marriage thing would end right then.
But it didn't. Clark apologized, and we talked things through. Even Jonathan said that he was sorry, though I'm pretty certain that Martha forced him to do it. He didn't exactly look happy to be apologizing. I think having to do it just made him more angry.
Chloe and Lex also helped. They came over to talk to me. The look on Clark's face when they arrived together was priceless. Clark looked positively gob smacked. Personally, I think they make a cute couple, though they deny that they are actually together. Clark seemed pretty desperate to believe that.
But Chloe sat me down and talked to me about Clark. Apparently, he hurt her a lot in the past. But the way she and Lex talked about him...you can really tell that they think Clark is a nice guy. And I hope that they're right.
"You ready to go in?" Clark asks.
I nod. "Good as time as any. Are you sure you want to do this, Clark? I mean, my friends are probably going to be more than a little hostile."
"I'll be fine," Clark insisted. "I should be there. I am your husband after all."
It still seems weird to hear him say that. I still have trouble believing that this is all real, that I'm really married to the young man seated beside me. But he is. Because, apparently, I am incredibly stupid.
I take a deep breath. "Let's go."
Clark and I walk to the front door, and I find myself wondering whether or not I should ring the bell. I'm just about to knock when the door suddenly opens and I find my arms full of bouncy brunette.
"Willow!"
A smile spreads across my face. "Hey, Dawnie. I'm glad to see you too." I hug her tightly, before pulling away.
"Dawn, this is Clark. Clark, Dawn Summers."
Dawn looks Clark over, appraisingly, before turning to me, "God, Wills. He's like my age."
Clark looks embarrassed.
"He's a little older than that, Dawn. He *is* 18, after all."
Dawn just grins. "Well, it's nice to meet you Clark. Why don't you guys come on in? Everybody's waiting."
Everybody. That means that Giles is here. I knew that he would be. Of course he would be. But I'm worried about seeing him. It'll be hard enough dealing with the others. But I hate it when Giles is disappointed in me. He's going to look at me all serious and British. I wonder how many times he's going to clean his glasses tonight. I'm betting at least seven.
Clark attempts to give me a reassuring smile as we follow Dawn into the living room. It's weird, even though I only lived here a couple of months, Buffy's Cleveland home feels like home to me. I guess it's just because this is where my family is.
"Hey everybody," I say as we enter the room. Xander, Giles and Buffy all face us. None of them look too happy. But, finally, Xander's face breaks into a small smile.
"Hey, Wills!" He quickly comes over and pulls me into a tight hug. Being in Xander's arms just feels so comforting. I wish I could stay like this forever. I pull away from Xander, and suddenly fine myself in Giles' arms. It's like being hugged by my father.
Well, not by my father. My dad's not really into the whole 'showing affection' thing. But Giles is like a father to me. He has been for years. Even when I was being a psychotic little snot and threatening him, I still loved him. God, I’m so lucky he forgave me. But I guess that's what fathers do.
"Giles," I say when we break apart, "I want you to meet Clark Kent. My husband."
"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Giles. Willow has told me a lot about you."
Giles doesn't react right away, so I clear my throat, and shoot him a glare. Finally, he gives in and shakes Clark's hand.
"Mr. Kent."
Clark looks nervous, and I can't really blame him. "Please, call me Clark."
"Yes. Of course. Clark. You are family now after all."
Oh god.
I was expecting uncomfortable, nervous Giles. This is getting dangerously close to Ripper-Giles. That would be bad. Clark and I are finally becoming halfway comfortable around each other. I don't need him to feel threatened by my friends.
It's interesting. I mean, Clark is an alien, and has super-strength, but he still scares easily. Buffy had freaked him out when they met in Vegas. And although Xander's punch didn't hurt him, I think Xan kind of frightens him too. Which is weird, cause it's Xander. I love Xander. He's courageous as hell, and fiercely loyal. But I didn't think a guy with super powers would be afraid of him.
Clark looks so uncomfortable. He may be a bit off an ass, but I still feel sorry for him. I know how weird I felt around his parents, and Clark has even more strangers to deal with.
"Good to have you back, Will." Buffy completely ignores Clark, which I guess is better than trying to attack him. I don’t want to see anyone get hurt, and I certainly don’t want to have to explain to everyone that Clark is an alien.
Buffy’s thinking is sometimes simplistic, and I think in her mind alien might equal ‘evil demon that I must try to kill.’ From what Clark told me, Buffy wouldn’t be able to really damage him, but I’ve learned never to underestimate a pissed off Slayer.
“So, Willow. Are you changing your last name?”
Thank goodness for Dawn. It’s nice to have the tension broken a little.
“No. I’m keeping Rosenberg. Given our situation, I thought it was for the best.”
Dawn smiles, “Good. Willow Kent sounds like crap anyway.”
“Dawn!” Buffy admonishes.
“Sorry,” Dawn says with a shrug.
I try to look stern, but she does have a point. Kent goes fine with a name like Clark. But with Willow it just sounds weird.
“I’m going to go make some tea,” Giles says.
“Let me help you,” Clark volunteers.
Clark has chosen a bad time to show he’s a good guy.
“Th-that’s quite unnecessary,” Giles says as he takes off his glasses and cleans them. I’m surprised it’s taken him this long to do it.
“No, really.”
As Clark follows Giles into the kitchen, I can’t help but worry that this is a really bad idea.
15 – Ripped
I can't help but feel relieved as I follow Mr. Giles into the kitchen to help with the tea. He seems to be a lot less threatening than Buffy and Xander. They're Willow's friends, and I can understand why they don't like me, but I can't stand having them glare at me anymore. I think I'll be safer with Mr. Giles.
I watch as he fills a tea kettle with water and puts it on the stove to boil."Is there anything I can do?" I ask carefully.
"There are cups in the cupboard above you."
I nod and open the door, getting out cups and laying them on the counter.
"So, Clark. What do you do?"
The question throws me for a moment, it's not really one I've had before.
"I'm working on my family's farm for a year. Then I plan on going to school in Metropolis." I'm glad that he's making small talk. It makes the whole situation feel a little more normal.
"So, you don't even have a real job?"
Mr. Giles' tone remains even, but I can't help but take some offense at the question. "Well, working on a farm is a lot of work."
"Oh, I don't doubt that at all," he continues. "I simply mean that you're still living with your parents, correct? That you have no means of supporting yourself, or Willow."
"Look..."
I try to defend myself, but he interrupts.
"Not having a job at your age is nothing to be ashamed of really," he sounds friendly enough, but I have a feeling something bad is about to happen. "After all. You are only 18."
I have a sense that I'm stepping into a trap, but I answer anyway. "Yeah, that's right."
"Which means that you aren't legally old enough to drink." He turns back to tend to the tea.
"I know. I know that I shouldn't have been drinking. And trust me, I don't normally drink. But the girl I liked hooked up with my best friend, and..."
I trail off as Mr. Giles slowly turns and glares at me.
"You mean that not only did you get drunk and marry the girl who is like a daughter to me, but you did it because you were upset over some high school crush?"
And suddenly Mr. Giles is more frightening than Buffy and Xander combined.
"I didn't mean..."
"I have no doubt that you view this as a mistake, Mr. Kent." Giles takes a step forward and I find myself moving back. "After all, you couldn't have wanted to end up married. Especially not if you are chasing after another woman. But there is something you need to understand."
I swallow nervously, "Sir?"
"If you hurt Willow, if you hurt her in the slightest, I will dedicate the rest of my life to destroying you. Willow may have convinced Buffy and Xander that you aren't an immediate threat, but she hasn't convinced me of that. I'm very protective of the ones I love, Mr. Kent." Though his words are angry, his voice never raises.. He remains completely calm, which just makes him more scary. "Willow is a strong young woman, and she is usually very sensible, and I trust her ability to take care of herself. But if you hurt her, I *will* kill you. Do you understand?"
I nod. Even though I know that this guy couldn't actually do any damage to me, I can't help but feel threatened.
"Do you understand?" He repeats, more firmly this time.
I nod more vigorously. "Yes. Yes, I understand."
"Good."
Just than the tea kettle begins to whistle.
"Bring me that tea pot, if you would." He says, pointing to where it sits on the counter.
I don't react at first, surprised by the sudden shift in conversation. Shaking my head, I grab the pot and hand it to him.
"Thank you."
I nod, dazed before wandering back into the living room. Willow is chatting with her friends, and seems to be happy. When she glances up, and catches my eye, I see her smile fade. She quickly stands up and walks over to me. She grabs my hand and marches me determinedly out of the room.
"What did he do?" She asks, her eyes flashing.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Willow crosses her arms over her chest. "Come on, Clark. I saw the expression on your face when you left the kitchen. Giles did something didn't he."
Suddenly I'm not sure what is more frightening, angry Willow, or angry Mr. Giles.
"He...he's just protective of you."
Willow nods. "I knew it. He threatened you, didn't he." She stares at me, waiting for an answer. I can't keep eye contact with her, and my gaze drops to the floor.
"Yeah, a little."
"Damnit. I told him not to do that."
"You knew he was going to do something like this?" I ask.
"It's not exactly new."
"I wasn't really expecting it. I mean, he seems so..."
"Nice? Stuffy? British?"
I nod. "Yeah. All of those things."
"Giles can be...well he can be a little scary sometimes." She shakes her head and I can tell she's mad. "But I told him not to go Ripper on you."
I pause for a moment before asking the obvious question: "Ripper?"
"His nickname when he was younger."
"Well, that's...really not comforting at all."
Willow studies me for a moment, then seems to reach a decision.
"Come on."
"Where are we going?"
"I want to talk to Giles."
Oh, that seems like a bad idea. I don't really need the man to be any more angry with me than he already is. "You don't need to do that."
"Yes, I do."
Somehow I can't get out of this. The look on her face shows that she's not going to be allowing any discussion on this.
She grabs my hand once again and pulls me toward the kitchen.
This isn't going to be pretty.
To Be Continued...