Believe in Forever
©2004 Evenstar

Spike ducked the incoming blow from the vampire easily, doing a bob and weave, and then delivering a solid blow to his opponent's gut. The fledgling lurched forward in pain and Spike brought the back of his fist down like a meat cleaver to a carcass. The force was enough to crush the other vampire's skull, which was followed up by a grisly decapitation in the form of pulling his spine out of his body as one might a fish. The vamp turned to dust.

"That was disgusting," Angel commented as he staked the last vampire.

"Yeah. I know. It really was wasn't it?" Spike laughed, brushing the dust off his coat. "Been playin' Mortal Kombat on m'XBox n' wanted to see if it was possible. Bloody marvelous, doncha think?"

"I said disgusting."

"But ever so much fun. You really should get out more."

"I am out." The two vampire champions sauntered side by side towards the exit of the darkened alley.

"It took me three bloody days of constant nagging and pestering to get you to agree to a good ol' fashioned patrol. S'bout time we got you out of your posh leather chair and into some real honest helping of the helpless."

"What helpless? We followed those five from the liquor store to their lair."

"Well, there could've been! Suppose some poor young innocent on the way home from working a double shift at the Doublemeat crossed their path and she was too tired to even notice them sneaking up on her and of course she was in such a rush that morning she didn't pack her stake with her and..."

"What on Earth are you yammering on about?"

"Huh?" Spike caught himself, slipping yet again into another moment pondering Buffy. "Nothing."

"Did you save her?" Spike sighed as they turned the corner, heading back towards Wolfram and Hart.

"Yeah, she just stood there and watched. When I came over to her there were tears in her eyes. I told her again how I'd help her out if she'd just let me. Just told me to hold her, please hold her. Eventually I picked her up and carried her home. She was asleep in my arms in less than ten paces."

"Spike, listen." Angel took a deep breath and let it out, trying to finally say what he knew was right. "Maybe you should go to her."

"Is it me or did the planet just tilt off its axis?"

"You love her, you can be with her and I know she doesn't think of me how she thinks of you."

"Very magnanimous of you. Someone conk you on the head? Really hard like?"

"She told you she loved you, right? Buffy doesn't say that easily and we both know it. She doesn't want a life with me."

"Don't know as she wants one with me either though, Peaches."

"Won't know until you ask her." Spike stalked on ahead, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his coat and putting his head down. His mind was so full of questions he didn't know how to begin to answer them for himself. He physically ached to be near Buffy again. Knowing she was out there in the world and not being able to just be near her, in the same city even was killing him. Angel caught up to him. "We're not friends, Spike."

"No bloomin' kidding. Ponce."

"And probably never will be, idiot. But we're family."

"And that entitles you to what? Boss me around all high n' mighty like you do those scabby minions you call your lawyers?"

"Fine, have it your way. You know what? You are..." Suddenly Angel found his back was on the pavement, having been pushed by the Spike and he saw the blonde vampire above him, far above him. Spike was pinned halfway up the face of the building, surrounded, drowning in a cold blue miasma of energy. He was screaming in agony.

Across the street the source of the energy stood: a small time but very evil warlock that Angel had tangled with early last year, before Spike had ever come to Wolfram and Hart. Somehow he'd gathered enough power to attack Angel, only Spike had pushed his grandsire out of the way and now Spike was facing the consequences.

Tearing a hubcap off the car in front of him, Angel frisbeed it across the road and severed the warlock's head from his shoulders. The blue light disappeared instantly and Spike plummeted to the pavement. When he didn't immediately get up, Angel grew concerned. He knelt down and rolled Spike on to his back. There were no visible signs of injury, but the younger vampire was stone cold and still. Angel smacked Spike's face, shook him, but to no avail. As they were a relatively short distance from the office, Angel hoisted Spike over his shoulder and made their way home.

***

"Mystical coma? Again?" Angel asked incredulously.

"I'm afraid so, the mystical readings are quite clear. I've even been able to determine which incantation Saarlak used," Wesley explained as the gang gathered around the vampire in the hospital bed in Wolfram & Hart's medical wing.

"Can you reverse it?" Wesley looked down at the floor and sighed heavily.

"There's a reason this particular spell was used. Its intention is to not destroy the demon, but to put in permanent stasis, trapped in a dreamless sleep. As if setting his mind adrift in an infinite void, never waking. Ever."

"So you're saying Spike is lost? He's going to stay this way forever?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. That was Saarlak's intention, to put..."

"Me out of commission. Spike pushed me out of the way, sacrificed himself." Angel looked over the motionless form of his progeny and felt an unexpected pang of hurt course through him. "It should have been me."

"I've found that Spike often thinks before he acts. Count yourself grateful in this instance. If the people's champion had been removed from the equation, who knows how the demon world would react, or the Senior Partners for that matter."

"The people lost a champion today." And Angel realized for the first time that he'd lost someone too.

***

Buffy was fidgeting nervously as she rode up the elevator towards Angel's office at Wolfram and Hart. She was having all sorts of ridiculous thoughts, mostly surrounding her hope that Spike liked her outfit. Of all the silly things! She'd spent hours going through everything she owned to make sure she chose just the right thing. As it was, she wore a black wrap around leather skirt that went down to nearly her ankles, tall high healed leather boots and fine cream colored silk camisole. It was a near imitation of an outfit she'd worn once before. She hoped it pleased him. Which was also why she wore the long tresses of her honey hair loose. She hoped she pleased him.

She'd been crying almost nonstop since Andrew had confessed that Spike had been resurrected, but since stepping off the plane at LAX, she'd been smiling, though overcome with nerves. She was prepared to beg him to take her back, to please still love her. To please forgive her for leaving him to die alone.

She was prepared however to face a rejection, their roles now seeming to her to be quite reversed. She was content enough to know he was in the world, and she would do anything in her power to keep him there. The ding from the elevator arriving at its destination jarred the Slayer out of her memories. She straightened her back and took in a deep breath. Walking out into the hub of Wolfram and Hart's offices was somewhat like she expected. People were moving all over the place, either talking on cell phones or going over their files. She was almost run over by a type of green-skinned demon she'd never seen before. He was wearing a flashy yellow suit with a red cravat, talking on a cell phone. The demon stopped and flipped the phone closed, then turned to face Buffy.

"I'm sorry my little, golden slice of pumpkin pie, didn't see you there," he apologized.

"It's okay, I don't really know where I'm going. I'm looking for Angel."

"Ohh...he might be a bit tied up today, and not in the fun way. I'm afraid Angelcake's had the air puffed out of his soufflé today."

"You like pastry, don't you?"

"I do, but my thighs don't. I'm Lorne, at your service. What can our not-so-evil-anymore-incorporate do for you today?"

"Really, I just need to see Angel."

"Honeycrumb..." Lorne solemnly put a hand on her shoulder. "We lost a friend today."

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I won't intrude then. Maybe you can help me?" Buffy sighed and gathered her thoughts, putting them in order. "My name is Buffy and..." Lorne gasped, which confused Buffy.

"You better come with me."

***

"Unhand me!" a male voice shouted from down the end of the hall. Buffy knew it as Spike's instantly. She broke away from Lorne and sprinted towards the hospital room where an obvious confrontation was taking place. "You cannot keep me here against my will. I demand someone fetch a constable! Where are my clothes?! NO! Get back!!"

He'd awoken in a strange, sterile place that had all the pallor and scent of death. There were machines making all sort of noise and disembodied voices crying all around him. There was no sunlight, nor fresh air, and he felt trapped. He tried to rise from his bed, finding he wore only a flimsy gown and there was no sign that anything of him in this room besides his body. He couldn't remember how he came to this place. He vaguely recalled a dark haired woman talking to him in an alley, speaking something about burning fish. Everything after that seemed lost. He worried that his mother was fretting over his whereabouts. Finally getting to his feet, he'd fallen promptly to the floor, his legs feeling like jelly. Some sort of alarm sounded and he'd scrambled to find a hiding place.

Two rather burly looking men dressed in white came bursting through the doors, followed by a woman dressed in a similar fashion and she looked dangerous, especially considering the large needle she held in her hand. He was seized and hauled up to his feet, at which point he struggled and vocalized his distress.

The sedative was a hair's width away from piercing his skin when another person came on the scene.

"Let him go!" a woman's voice shouted as she was already pushing his captors away. He fell bonelessly to the cold floor, very much still in a daze.

"You better listen to this one, she's the Slayer and the boss' ex," Lorne provided ushering the hospital staff out of the room. He then proceeded to where Buffy was pulling the blond vampire up off the floor. Together they got him to his feet and back into bed. "I'll leave you two alone and go fetch the big man."

"Thanks Lorne, we'll be okay now, but I want an explanation. You told me he wouldn't wake up."

"Don't look at me! I just make quips and use confectionery terms of endearment!" Buffy gave the green demon a slight smile, letting him off the hook. She had more important matters to attend to. She turned back to the bed and locked eyes with the man sitting there.

"Beg pardon, but..." he began, but his words were cut off with Buffy's mouth descending upon his. She sat down on the bed and wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening their kiss. The sensation of having a beautiful woman be so aggressively intimate with him was shocking and foreign, but not in the least unpleasant. Unsure of just what to do, he abandoned himself to her urgent ministrations with her tongue in his mouth massaging his. He groaned softly, feeling lightheaded. They fell back against the mattress and Buffy began to cry. Their kiss broke apart and she hugged him so tightly he though he'd burst like a grape underfoot. "M'lady?"

"I love you!!" she cried, holding his face in her hands. He remarked how she was overcome, and seemingly because of him. "I love you. Please tell me you believe me. I know...I know I screwed up, and I know I don't deserve to be this lucky...but you're back and I swear I'll make it up to you!" Gingerly, he took her by the shoulders and pushed her back from him a ways.

"Miss, perhaps you need a moment?"

"What? Spike, what's going on?"

"William, if you please miss. I don't know who Spike is, but perhaps you have me confused with him." Buffy couldn't believe what she was hearing. In a furious gesture she wiped the tears from her face.

"There's no confusion. I know your name is William, I don't know what's happened but I know you're the man I love."

"I have no memory of you. I'm sorry."

It was at that inopportune moment that the others arrived. Buffy drew back from William and went to lean against the wall, leaving space for Angel and his friends to gather around William's bed.

"Spike..." Angel began, but was then distracted by Buffy making a beeline for the door.

"Call him William," she said, leaving the room.

"I'm afraid I've upset the lady," William stated. "She seems to have confused me with a gentleman named Spike, though I can hardly see how a gentleman would possess such a moniker."

"You're Spike, there's no mistaking that, you've just forgotten," Angel tried to explain. "Look, what's the last thing you remember?"

"There was a party...then a woman."

"In black?"

"Yes! How did you know?"

"That's a long story."

***

Half an hour later Angel emerged from William's hospital room, followed by Wes. Fred and Gunn have Buffy a sympathetic look and made their exit. Buffy was sitting with Lorne, seeming withdrawn and deeply saddened. She looked up with tearstained eyes, then back down again. Lorne patted her back, offering what comfort he could.

"Why don't you go in with him Buffy, I'll have dinner sent up," Angel offered.

"Does he want to see me?" she asked, feeling a glimmer of hope.

"Very much. I explained a few things, not everything; he doesn't know he's a vampire. I told him he'd been misplaced in time, that magical forces were to blame. Wes did a better job of making him understand. I told him that he's been with you for years and that he was presumed dead after Sunnydale. I told him that he loved you and you were his whole world and that even if he didn't remember it now, that he shouldn't push you away because you were the best thing that ever happened to him. He thinks he has amnesia." Buffy rushed into Angel's embrace, her tears starting a new.

"Thank you." She took a step back and dried her eyes again. Lorne passed her a garish bright pink handkerchief, which she gratefully accepted. "But what about Spike?"

"Asleep, inside there somewhere. Sarlaak didn't take the soul into consideration. He put the demon to sleep, but he couldn't quell the soul."

"Will he ever wake up?"

"We don't know, Buffy. But for now we have a stranger to these times on our hands, one who doesn't know he has friends. He saved my life; it could have been me in there. And he has you, it's a pretty good head start."

"William was as much a part of Spike as the demon. I love him."

"Good, because he's going to need it. I'll have an early dinner sent up for you two, give you some time to get comfortable with each other. You'll find him in there somewhere Buffy, the man that loves you." She gave him another hug, knowing that they were finally letting the last of each other they'd held on to for all these years go. The hallway emptied and Buffy was left alone with only the barrier of the door between her and the man she loved.

She stepped up and knocked and waited for his reply before entering. When none came, she tentatively opened the door.

"Can I come in?" she asked, her voice wavering a little.

"Yes, of course," William replied, trying to shrug off his uneasiness. Angel had told him a good many things about Buffy and he wished he had more time to process them, but he didn't want to ignore the lady. The one who supposedly loved him. She entered the room, giving him a shy smile. She closed the door, but remained a fair distance from him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Somewhat improved, though I was never one for lazing around in bed."

"You're recovering."

"So I'm told." An awkward silence hung between them and they snuck glances at the other. "Perhaps you'd like to sit down?"

"Okay." She took the seat before his bed, the one that Angel had been sitting in. She could reach out and touch him if she wanted. He looked so much like Spike, except his composure was reserved and shy. She couldn't help herself to stop the few tears that ran down her face. The sight of which pained William deeply.

"My dear, I apologize if I've upset you. Please understand that I have no control over our present situation. I'm sorry I don't recall our past together. Mr. Angel kindly explained some of it..."

"What did he tell you?"

"That magic was real and that the woman in black I remember following me down that alley somehow brought me to the present, to the 21st century. I must admit that I'm somewhat relieved. I've always had a penchant for the arcane you see. A few years ago, rather, when I in my twenty forth year I met an old woman on the street selling poppies. She was having a terrible time of it, most people ignored her. I gave her a few pennies for a bouquet for mother and she told me that for the extra one I'd tossed in out of pity she'd tell me my future."

"And what did she say?"

"That the road I followed was not the one I was meant to be on and that the universe was working on changing my path. That I should expect to live an unnatural life, as she put it. I suppose she was right, for here we are." He smiled at her and remarked to himself how lovely a girl she was, particularly the amazing peridot shade combined with hazel of her eyes and how it deepened depending on the light. No wonder he'd fallen in love with her, as Angel had said. She was small in stature, well matched for him, but he knew she had hidden strengths. She simply had a way about her that entranced him.

There was the briefest knock at the door before Lorne entered, pulling a cart behind him. William's eyes widened in shock at the sight of the green demon, obviously having not noticed him previously with all the commotion. Buffy took William's hand in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"And how are my two love birds tonight?" Lorne asked. Without giving either a chance to reply, Lorne continued. "For your dining pleasure tonight we have Cornish hen with goat's cheese and foccacia stuffing; springtime greens with raspberry vinaigrette and for dessert a real treat..."

"It's some sort of pastry, isn't it?" Buffy asked with a smirk on her face.

"Aren't you precious? It's chocolate tiramisu! And a great bottle of vino to boot!" Lorne went to work quickly, pulling the hospital bed's table over across William's legs and placing two covered plates upon it. He uncorked and poured the red wine then placed two lit candles there as well. He unveiled the gourmet meal, which filled the room with a heavenly scent. Before leaving the room he gave Buffy a wink then switched off the overhead lights, giving the room a peaceful, romantic ambiance.

"Um, Miss Buffy...if I may ask..." William said.

"Lorne's a demon, but he's good demon. Just, um...doesn't dinner look amazing?"

"Yes, rather. Would you join me?" He looked down at their clasped hands and gave it an encouraging squeeze. She rose from the chair and let him guide her around so she could sit on the bed across from him over the table. He felt self-conscious to have her that much closer to him, but thankfully the two candles gave enough light to only illuminate the table and their faces. He picked up his wine glass and she did the same. They clinked them together and tasted the wine, then ate a quiet dinner together.

By the time they reached the dessert, they were able to relax and just be in each other's company. Often William found himself staring at Buffy, smiling when she made appreciative moans of delight over her food. He was quite taken with her and her astonishing beauty.

"Mmmmm, you've got to taste this!" Buffy exclaimed, holding her fork out for him with a helping of dessert on it. He was skeptical but obediently opened his mouth. There was something incredibly erotic to him about her feeding him. When the sweetness reached his mouth and shudder of arousal ran through him. He was eternally grateful for the lack of light, the covering of several blankets as well as the table across his lap. Buffy was looking at him with a curious expression that made him feel self-conscious. Buffy must have picked up on his uneasiness and withdrew the fork from his mouth. "I've missed you, that's all."

"I wish I could remember."

"I miss having your face be the last thing I see when I go to sleep and the first thing when I wake up."

"We're not married, are we?"

"No, we're not. I'm sorry."

"Why not? If we love each other so much, how is it that we are not wed? Have I even spoken, are we engaged?"

"William, please don't be upset."

"But we were lovers?" Buffy nodded her head and William felt a pang go straight to his heart. "What sort of knave was I to misuse you so without having given you my name? Had a home for us?"

"It would've happened sooner or later. No man has ever loved me as much as you. You worshipped me, even when I didn't deserve it."

"How could you not be deserving?"

"William, if you remembered...I treated you so horribly. I want to ask for forgiveness, but I'm not...I mean..."

"It's forgiven, whatever it was." Sensing that she was about to begin crying again, he took a generous helping of his dessert and presented it to it. "It is quite exquisite. Have some of mine." She accepted the food and smiled at him. They ate their dessert, each feeding the other from their dish.

A certain romance settled around the couple and it terrified them both to such an extent that they didn't dare to question it. William had never spent such a length of time alone with a woman, especially in so intimate a setting. Part of it thrilled him, and part of him was still a bundle of nerves.

"Did you want to leave the hospital tonight?" Buffy asked out of the blue. The dessert was finished and there was nothing else to distract them.

"I could?"

"You're not a prisoner. You must live somewhere. I can ask Angel and you could go home tonight."

"To be in my own house? Yes, I'd like that very much. I'll be honest, this place disturbs me. There's a certain malevolence that seems to coat the very walls with an impenetrable thickness. I didn't feel a spec of ease until I saw...until I saw you." Buffy moved the hospital table away and inched close to William, taking her hands in his. There were already tears in her eyes. "Shhhh, don't cry. I can't bear to see you cry."

"I love you, even if you don't remember, please tell me there's a chance. Just a tiny glimmer of hope for us?"

"I see it. I've tried not to for some reason, even as I sat here this evening with you. It's so hard to trust anyone, you see. But I see it, darling Buffy, in your eyes. We do love each other, don't we?" Buffy nodded her head, her emotions still getting the better of her. Boldly, William leaned forward, capture her lips with his. She gasped, surprised by his actions, but quickly melted into him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

For the second kiss he'd ever experienced, William was eager to abandon himself to the sensations fully. He paid no mind to his inhibitions or the persistent little voice in his head telling him he should be ashamed of himself. Of their own volition his hands rested themselves at Buffy's hips, pulling her close. He leaned back and she followed until she lay atop him. The evidence of his arousal pressed into her and that served only to intensify the fervor of their kiss.

Buffy straddled him and began to grind herself against him, creating a wonderful friction for them both. The only things separating them were her lace panties and the bed sheet. William realized that if Buffy continued what she was doing he could embarrass himself. Reluctantly he pushed her back and made to move away from her. Rejected, Buffy's slid off the bed, feeling uncomfortable herself.

Clutching the covers close to his middle, William begged for his erection to disappear. He felt as if he was drowning, being in so unfamiliar a place and situation. He wanted to comfort the obviously hurt girl in his presence, but could find no words.

"I'll make sure Angel knows that you want to go home," Buffy began, her voice shaky. "I'm sure he'll be able to have someone drive you. If you want I can leave my address and phone number. In case you ever wanted to write or talk."

"Miss Buffy..."

"Right, I should go."

"No, darling, please don't." William huffed out a breath in frustration. Summoning all his courage, he continued. "I've made a grave error here."

"No! No, it was totally me! I've always come on too strong." She was beginning to back away towards the door and when he made a move to stop her, he was reminded that he was not in a state to come out from under the covers. "Um...bye..."

"NO!" His outcry stopped her cold. He took a moment to calm himself and then extended his hand to her. "Come back here, if you please." Buffy did as he asked, slipping her hand into his. He brought her palm to his lips and placed a gentle, long kiss there. "Please. I don't want to be alone."

"I won't go."

"I want to go home. I want us to go home. Please?"

***

It had taken some coaxing to get William into the limousine Angel had provided. The very concept of a horseless carriage unnerved him. After bidding his new friends at Wolfram and Hart farewell, and accepting the gift of a smart new pair of spectacles, William and Buffy were taken to Spike's apartment. William had dressed in Spike's clothing, which even Buffy could see didn't suit him. He wore Spike's skin and his clothes, but the man inside the body was quiet and timid, unknowing of the vast evils of the world. He hadn't let go of her hand since they'd left the hospital.

After being dropped off at the humble apartment building, Buffy had found his door, not surprised it was the basement suite. The keys had been in the duster's pocket and she took them from William and unlocked the door. "Seems rather a glum hole in the ground, doesn't it?" William remarked. "This isn't what I would have chosen. No sunlight."

"You're not so much a fan of sunshine nowadays. And it's not a hole in the ground, it's cozy. Like a Hobbit house."

"A what?"

"Never mind. Besides, knowing you I'm sure it's warm, full of nice things and books."

"Yes, I could do with the comfort of a few good books."

"I was hoping you'd let me take care of the comforty side of things. I'm a lot more snuggly than a book." She opened the door and William motioned for her to enter first. He followed in behind, carrying her suitcase. He'd insisted, as a gentleman. Once inside, Buffy closed and locked the door behind them, then searched for a light switch. She fumbled around in the dark until she found a lamp and switched it on. They both took a moment to look at their surroundings. They found themselves under whelmed.

"It seems I lived a rather Spartan existence," William commented, a frown on his face. He put down Buffy's suitcase and took off his coat, finding a hook for it on the back of the door. Buffy moved through the home, taking in the little touches that made it Spike's.

"It's not," Buffy eventually replied. "Look over there." She pointed to an area near the couch. There was a set of shelves, filled to the brim with books. William walked over to them and knelt down. An instant smile appeared on his face. They were all his favorites. "So it's a little sparse, but I know you live here."

Off to the right of them was the bedroom, which interested Buffy greatly. The bed was small, but covered with several layers of heavy blankets. Spike had never been able to tolerate sleeping cold. She'd learnt in their last few nights together before the end of Sunnydale, that Spike craved heat. He'd insisted on wrapping both arms and legs around her body as they'd slept, absorbing every molecule of her body heat. Above the bed was pinned several sketches of her. She remembered he was an artist.

William came up behind her and she sensed him. "What ought we to do now?" William asked in a quiet voice.

"You've been in that rotten hospital and I've been traveling all day. I think a bath is what we ought to do."

"B...bath? As in..."

"Together." Buffy approached him slowly, until they were close enough for her to lay her hands on his chest. "Hot water, bubbles, our naked bodies pressed together..." William audibly gulped and she was sure, despite his undead state, that he was blushing. There was no doubt that the idea enticed him, evident in the large bulge that filled the front of his jeans. She craned her neck upwards and kissed his chin, then gave it a little nibble. "Would you like that? William?" She said his name in such a way he felt as if she'd pulled out his spine. He leaned into her palms and her lips continued a trail over his jaw line then down his throat. "Come on, sweetheart. You want to, don't you?"

"Yes...oh god yes." She took his hand and walked them towards what she presumed was the bathroom. She closed the door behind them before he had a chance to change his mind. Buffy was pleased to find that Spike kept a collection of candles on the counter and a book of matches beside them. After lighting the first one, Buffy turned out the lights and went about arranging the pillars of various shapes and sizes around the small bathroom. William stayed in the corner and watched her, enthralled.

Buffy ran the bath water, making it as hot as she could tolerate it on her hand. Beside the taps was a bottle of vanilla scented bubblebath, the brand that she herself preferred. It was certainly no coincidence that Spike had it also. As the bubbles formed into a paradise of white and the bath filled, Buffy went about undressing herself. As each article of clothing was removed, she inched a little closer to William. When she was down to only her undergarments, she was mere inches from William.

She watched him watch her as she reached behind her back and unhooked her bra. His mouth was agape as he stared at her breasts, succulent like cream with summer berries at the tips. He wanted desperately to touch them. Before he worked up the nerve to move his hands, she went to task at untying the little bows at her hips. She slipped her panties off and put them in one of his hands. The cloth was damp to the touch, and the softest texture he'd ever had the pleasure of feeling.

Buffy took his other hand and placed it on her behind. Too overcome to react, William stood motionless, cupping her bottom. Taking the initiative, as she had since they'd arrived; she pulled his t-shirt from his jeans, then over his head and off. He was loathed to move his hand from her flesh, but relented when she giggled at him. Next his belt was undone, then the fly of his jeans. His cock, fully erect sprang out and into Buffy's hand. William's back hit hard against the door and his eyes rolled back in his head.

"Not yet," Buffy whispered, letting him go. She pulled down his pants and helped him out of them and his shoes. Then removed his spectacles and placed them on the counter. When she touched his face his eyes opened. He was shaking from nerves. "Let me love you." He nodded and followed her over to the bathtub. She turned off the water and motioned for him to get in first. At first contact with his skin to the water he hissed in a breath, but weathered it and sunk into the full bath until only his head was visible above the bubbles. Instead of joining him, Buffy knelt down by the side of the tub. He looked back at her, uncertain and perhaps even a little frightened. By his shoulder was a loofah, which Buffy took up in her hand. She squeezed a little more of the bubblebath on to it, then reached into the tub for his arm. She washed him gently, slowly, letting them reacquaint themselves with the other's touch.

William watched her, every second on the verge of weeping. It was evident, with her every worshipful motion, with her devotion to the ritual of cleaning him, the she loved him. She moved over his chest, his other arm, made him lean forward so she could get his back as well. She moved to his stomach, her arm brushing against his still strong arousal. He caught her hand suddenly, halting her motions and breaking the spell they'd both been under. Without say a word, he asked her to join him. Effortlessly, Buffy slipped in beside him. The water was fragrant and hot, cocooning them and lulling them. William brought her into his arms. With this being his first experience at intimacy, he was uncertain of what to do next. Buffy however knew what he needed.

During their short time together, Buffy had come to realize that William must have been a virgin when Drusilla claimed him. If he only knew how much he'd been through in the century that followed. Buffy would make sure his new memories would be worthy of so kind and gallant a man. She snuggled in close, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck while her hand carefully, but surely wrapped itself around the base of his cock. He squirmed a little, his hips pitching upwards, but she quieted him with soft kisses upon his throat. Her hand was slippery from the vanilla gel, making it slide easily up and down the length of engorged flesh. She gripped him firmly, pumping fairly quickly, knowing he was extremely tense and already coming unhinged. She didn't want to prolong any sort of torment he might've been experiencing. She only wanted to give him pleasure.

William made a cry that to Buffy sounded painful. She put her mouth to his ear, continuing to work over his cock, trying to bring him to climax. "Just let it happen," she bade. "You're safe with me and I love you...it's okay, baby." He sobbed when he finally came, quick white spurts of cum leaving him. It was if years of sadness, loneliness and rejection were being purged. Afterwards, Buffy continued with bathing him. She let the bath water down the drain, then washed their hair under a shower.

The magic wasn't broken when William snuffed out the candles and Buffy turned on the lights. They dried each other off, sharing kisses and sweetheart looks. William wanted to thank her, but words seemed inadequate. He wanted to fall to his knees and kiss her feet, kiss every inch of her body.

"Feel better?" she asked, looking for another towel for her hair.

"I do."

"I'm glad. I want you to be comfortable with me, in every way."

"I'm learning. I mean, I do, my treasure." She smiled and went to task at getting the excess water out of her hair. William leaned against the counter and watched her. "I'm not sure, however, that I'm prepared, that is to say..."

"You'd like to wait a little while maybe before we make love?"

"Yes. Don't hate me."

"I could never hate you. We can wait until you're ready."

"Thank you."

"You never need to thank me. I'll do anything to make you happy."

"As will I."

"I know you will." She bent her head down to finish with her hair. William sighed and turned around to look at himself in the mirror and was startled but what he saw, or rather by what he didn't see. Himself.

His finger tips pressed themselves to the mirror, making archaic patterns through the condensation. With each sweep he looked for a piece of himself in the reflected world, but found no trace.

"But I exist..." he whispered.

"What was that, honey?" Buffy asked, wrapping the towel around her long hair and flipping it up atop her head. She came to stand next to him, placing her hand on his bare back. She followed his gaze to the foggy mirror and his head tilted to look at her reflection. Her hand was raised and he felt it against his skin, but he was still not there in the mirror.

"I...I don't understand." He stumbled back and would've fallen into the tub and likely cracked his skull if Buffy hadn't been there to steady him. "What magic is this?" His tone was demanding but a current of fear ran through it. Buffy's arms encircled his waist and she laid her cheek again his chest. He watched the ghostly pantomime of her movements in the mirror, eyes wide and his body beginning to shake from the fear.

"It's magic. I'll explain, but let's get dry first and we'll put on some warm clothes."

"I need to know."

"You will. It's because you're special, William." He was becoming so agitated she thought he'd faint. Quickly, Buffy took him out of the bathroom and led him over to the single bed. She sat him down and felt her heart break when he wrapped his arms around torso and began to shiver. In his drawers she found a pair of black jogging pants and passed them to him. It took him a moment to notice what she held out to him, but eventually took them and set about getting dressed. Once that was accomplished he watched this compassionate young woman drop her towel to the floor and show him her glorious nude form again. In that moment he wished he was an artist so he could create a portrait. She fished inside her suitcase and brought out a set of sleeping clothes with small pictographs of pigs on them. "Chubby piggy pajamas. The cure for what ails you."

"Beg pardon?"

"My pajamas."

"Your clothes? Forgive me, but they're most peculiar." She advanced on him and took his hand in hers, guiding it to her breast.

"But very soft, don't you think?" The boldness he'd been imbibed with during their bath seemed to falter now and he would've drawn his hand away from cupping the soft mound of flesh if Buffy hadn't reacted quickly. "Why don't we get into bed? I think this will be easier if we're both relaxed, don't you think?" He nodded his head in meek agreement and put himself down and under the covers. Before joining him Buffy went about the apartment turning off all the lights and locking the door. Lastly she lit a solitary pillar candle and placed it by the bed side. She thought it was romantic, but without realizing it the familiar form of illumination to William's nineteenth century mind brought him considerable peace.

It was difficult to comfortably fit two people on the small bed, but Buffy solved the problem by pressing herself flush against him and wrapping her arm around his bare back while her other went under his neck and around his shoulder. They shared the pillow and William squinted slightly to make out her face properly.

"Are you comfy?" Buffy asked in a hushed voice. Truth was, William wanted nothing more than to cower alone in a dark corner, but Buffy was so warm and giving. He touched the towel on her head and she got the hint. She pulled it off and tossed in on the floor. "Hair's still wet though. It'll get cold." He leaned forward and inhaled the scent of her. Seemingly of its own volition, his arm circled around her back and pulled her closer. "Do you want to sleep, or talk?"

"Both. Can you explain why it is I have no reflection in the mirror?"

"Yes I can. But I'd like a promise first."

"Anything for you. I feel safe with you."

"I'm glad to hear that, because you are safe with me, William. Promise me that you'll try to stay calm and that if you get upset, you'll keep holding me."

"Is it grave?"

"It depends on your point of view. I don't think it is."

"In that case I promise." She tightened her arms around him and rested her forehead against his.

"William, have you noticed your heartbeat?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your heart isn't beating." William noticed then for the first time. He gulped audibly and squeezed Buffy tighter. "You breathe, but you don't need to." She pressed her lips to his and held their kiss for long moments. She felt his tears on her face. "You died many years ago, my love, and inside your body came to live a demon who called himself Spike. Spike lived over one hundred years and then he met me. He fell so deep in love with me that he went in search of his missing half. His soul. You. William. He earned it, endured many trials that almost killed him. In the end the two of you came together and after a time you became one man. I fell in love with that man. Something happened and now Spike's gone to sleep. But I know he's still in there. I feel him. If he never wakes, I will still be with you, still love you with all my heart. I love you, William...and you're a vampire."

William, safe in his love's arms, began to sob. This show of vulnerability shamed him, but he couldn't reign in his emotions. He didn't like this new world and all its violence and noise. He hated his dead body and he missed England his mother. Buffy cradled him close and made soothing patterns on his back with her hand. In an effort to keep them warm, she pulled the covers up to their chins. After a time he stopped crying and merely sniffled and burrowed his face into the pillow.

"Why don't you try and sleep now," Buffy whispered to him. "I'll watch over you." It was almost too faint a whisper for her to hear, but she heard it, the words 'I love you' coming from his mouth as he fell into dreams.

Some time during the night, they'd switched positions and William found himself spooned behind his beloved Miss Buffy. His arms were possessively wound around her, his hand resting under the waistband of her pajama bottoms on her flat stomach. Her hair tickled his nose, but it was dry now and soft as eiderdown. As the dim morning light filtered through the small North facing window, William gazed upon the sleeping woman in his arms. His back felt cold, but the rest of him absorbed the heat that her small body offered him. He never wanted to leave the bed, or her side. This small pocket inside this terrible new world was a sanctuary.

Buffy stirred slightly, and then turned over, her head and hand rest on his chest. She sighed contentedly, but remained asleep. He thought to himself that perhaps if he had Buffy to wade through the waters of the 21st century with him, life would not be so grueling an experience. If there were quiet moments like this to look forward to, life could be quite wonderful.

He quieted his mind once more, holding Buffy impossibly close, and searched inside for the demon she called Spike. He did so with trepidation, afraid that this thing inside him might overwhelm him and put him aside and claim Buffy for himself. That thought alone terrified him. In a short span of one night he'd fallen in love with her. Still, he was courageous and sought the creature inside him. It surprised him more than he expected when he found Spike so easily and quickly. Almost as if the demon had taken up residence right next to the soul, he sensed Spike there, asleep, content. Upon further investigate William realized that the demon intermingled with the soul enough to almost make them one being. The man understood then what a grave injustice had been done to Spike. William tapped into his memories, both good and evil, and he came to love Spike as much as Spike had come to love his soul.

Instead of fear and despair, William found strength. Try as he might, he could do nothing to awake the demon. He tried to vamp out, but caused only a mild headache. He yelled inside his head, but to no avail. Whatever had occurred, Spike was under an enchantment and William would have to simply wait it out. The poet mused a fairytale inside his head, but curbed such nonsense when Buffy made soft mewling noise against his chest. He shook her slightly in an effort to rouse her.

"Buffy, darling?" he coaxed.

"Hmmm?"

"Time to awake, dearest."

"Spike?"

"No, love, it's me...William."

"Wha...? Oh!" She sat up quickly, making her head spin. He brought her back down to him and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

"Lay a moment longer, or you'll make yourself ill."

"No, I mean I didn't...I'm sorry I called you Spike, I know you're William."

"Think nothing of it."

"It's not fair to you, I know you're not him."

"Not at the moment, but perhaps again someday. I can feel him inside, just as you did. He certainly does love you to the ends of the Earth and back doesn't he?"

"Yeah, he does. I love him too. I love you, William." She looked up at him with bright, hopeful eyes and he couldn't help but succumb. He leaned down and captured her lips with his own. Only last night had be been kissed for the first time, however this morning Buffy wondered if he could teach her a few things. He tongue curled around hers and drew it into his mouth, deepening the kiss. The movement of his hands were bold, one moving under her top and taking hold of her breast, squeezing gently, the other cupping her bottom and squeezing not so gently. Buffy gave a little squeak of surprise, but only increase her fervor for kissing him back. Their reverie was interrupted by a low gurgling growl.

"Sorry," Buffy murmured against his mouth. They continued kissing, but the sound arose again.

"You're hungry."

"Never mind...more kissing. Hungry for you William." She wrapped her arms around his neck and resumed their fevered kissing. Her empty tummy let itself be known again and Buffy pouted when she felt him begin to chuckle.

"We ought to feed you, my sweet." She turned on the patented Buffy Summers pout. Having never seen it in action before, William was helpless. Little did Buffy know that for all his innocence, William could be exceptionally charming and persuasive when properly motivated. He pulled her on to his lap and snuggled her close. "When I was a boy I barely slept I had so much energy. I was up every morning with the sun. At the country estate..."

"You had an estate?"

"Several. Quiet now darling. I wouldn't bother to change out of my evening gown and would run with bare feet on the cold marble all the way downstairs to the kitchen. Soon enough the cook knew to have my breakfast waiting. I'd have scones with clotted cream and strawberries, a soft boiled egg, sausages, fried potatoes in rosemary...the potatoes were my favorite, a few rashes of bacon, fried bread and tomatoes..."

"I don't think I could eat that much in a day." Her stomach rumbled loudly and William patted it affectionately.

"Of course was always a fine array of pastries. I'd top it off with a slice of apple pie..."

"Okay, fine, I give in."

"Jolly good. Frankly, I'm famished too."

"Oh! There's probably blood in the fridge."

"Bl..blood?"

"For you, the vampire."

"I don't think I could."

"You'll need it to stay strong. Spike needs it. Okay, how's about this. I'll run to that market on the corner and get everything we need for that big breakfast you just described. While it's cooking you can chug down a mug of blood and wash the taste away with some real food?"

"Agreed. For Spike. I am ashamed to say it...but I like having this time alone with you. I fear I shall disappear when he returns."

"You won't disappear. Spike won't let you and neither will I. We both love you."

"And I...I love you, Buffy." The smile that lit up her face made his heart beat faster. Buffy threw her arms around him and squeezed until he made a painful sound from the lack of air in his lungs.

"Oh! Sorry." She released him and he gasped for breath. "It's just really good to hear those words."

"And why should you not? You say them often enough to me." She hugged him again and got off the bed, in search of her clothes.

"I won't be long and then we'll get started on breakfast. You know how to cook right? Because Buffy and hot frying things usually results in fire. Fire bad."

"I watched the cook enough times I'm sure I can manage. Be sure to get everything I mentioned."

"I'll do my best, honey." She pulled on a pair of jeans and a tank top quickly, not bothering with undergarments and snatched a couple of twenty dollar bills from her purse. She tied her hair back in a pony tail, put on her sneakers and made for the door. "Love you," she called back and then she was gone.

William reclined back on the bed and sighed. Now that he was alone he had time to process the whirlwind he'd gone through since the previous night. After enduring the first bit of nerves of Buffy's unwavering affection and attention, he found that he and she were extremely comfortable with each other. He wanted to spend every moment with her for the next thousand years. Now that she was gone he missed her terribly. But she'd be back soon enough. The world outside was strange and chaotic, but he didn't feel much different than he had in the old world he knew. He still was still just William, a man looking for the beauty in life and he'd found it and she'd found him. She'd come from the other side of the world to claim him.

Furthermore in the short span of one night he'd had more intimate contact with a woman than he had his whole life. The first thing Buffy had done was kiss him, passionately. There'd been more touches during dinner and then the car ride to the apartment. When she'd suggested a nice hot bath to calm their nerves his had in fact increased exponentially. Though once they were alone in the steam filled room and disrobing, a certain amount of familiarity and desire began to course through him. She'd made him cum in her hands and it had been the most erotic experience in his whole life. The memory of it was making him hard again. It didn't embarrass him the way it used to. He looked at his tented trousers, feeling very lustful for his Miss Buffy's company and made a decision. He wanted to be her lover.

He pulled off his jogging pants and tossed them aside. He wrapped his left hand around his cock and gave it a tug. He groaned loudly and shuddered. He'd only done this a few times in the past, but quickly felt ashamed afterwards. He couldn't help himself now and wrapped his fist around the thick shaft and began to pump up and down the length of it. He closed his eyes and pictured Buffy.

"Buffy..." he sighed as he let his inhibitions go. He remembered how Buffy knew precisely which spots on his cock to touch and how to touch them. She was more familiar with it than he was it seemed. Not at present however, as William spread his precum over the head of his cock, then on the underside, letting his palm slide easily with his up and down motions. "Ugh...uhhh...Buffy..."

After a frustrating amount of time, William was straining to achieve his release. Something was keeping him just on edge, his entire body thrumming with ecstasy, but unable to reach climax. He grunted angrily and worked his fist faster. His head began to hurt and his arm was tired. He was about to give up when a soft caress fluttered across his brow. He opened his eyes and saw her there. Instantly he was mortified at Buffy catching him and he quickly shrank from her.

"Careful!" she said, laying her arm across his chest. "You'll fall off the bed." He sat down next to him and looked at his straining erection. To her mind it looked rather painful. "Why don't you let me take care of that for you?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, and don't be embarrassed. I heard you call my name. Were you thinking about me?" She gently pried his fingers away from his stiff prick, massaging his tired hand a little. She reached over to her suitcase and brought out a tube of lotion, squeezing some into her hand. William gasped when the cold cream came in contact with his flesh. She gently massaged and soothed him, letting him relax. She smiled sweetly at him and he sighed. "Couldn't wait for me to come back?"

"Yes, to both questions." Having exhausted himself, his voice was only a whisper.

"Tell me what we were doing? I want to know your fantasies." She continued her careful, quiet attentions, but looked only in his eyes.

"We were...making love....and..."

"Go on...."

"I've never been with anyone before..."

"I know, sweetheart, but you will. Maybe this afternoon? We don't have any obligations."

"I'd like to go for a walk outside."

"Not until night, vampire, remember?"

"No, I'd forgotten. Buffy, my love, I do want to be with you...we've already done many...acts..." Still she held his cock in her hand, keeping him aroused, but assuaging his pain and anxiety.

"It's called expressing our love, silly. Now I don't know about you, but there's still a rumbly in my tumbly and I wanna make pancakes. So..." Without further contemplation, Buffy engulfed his cock with her mouth and took him down her throat.

"Oh god! Oh Buffy, whatever are you...??" She sucked him greedily, as she bobbed her head up and down the length of him, building up an intense pressure. William gripped fistfuls of the quilt and thrust his hips up to meet her descent. Her hands caressed his thighs, then one cupped his balls, squeezing gently. With a strangled cry he finally came, and she swallowed down the long stream of his release. After his limp cock left her mouth, she bestowed many loving kisses upon it.

She crawled up next to William on the bed and hugged him. "Better?" she asked before she kissed his cheek.

"Thank you, yes." He wiped his hand across his brow, expecting but finding no perspiration, feeling his headache all the more. "I think I'm ill."

"You're okay, just a little over excited. You need the blood to keep your body strong. You'll feel one hundred percent better once you get a cup down you. I've got the groceries, so we can make enough food to make ourselves all fat and loopy." Buffy kissed him again and rose from the bed, pulling him with up with her. "Breakfast is more fun when you're naked."

Once again Buffy removed her clothing and William in drank her in like a sweet wine. His self-consciousness was diminishing rapidly, more and more whenever he was shown her fully nude body. Hesitantly he approached her, settling his hand on her shoulder. She craned her neck to one side and his other hand pulled her hair back. He pressed his lips to her shoulder, moving upwards until he was at her ear. "Are you mine?"

"I'm yours, William." He wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her back against him.

"Thank you."

"Don't ever need to thank me, we've earned our happiness. And breakfast."

"Yes, of course my dear. We ought naught to delay a moment longer lest we waste away to bones." Buffy giggled. It was going to take some time to get used to the way he talked. They made their way over to the kitchen area where Buffy had put the grocery bags.

"Okay, you get the pans out and get the burners hummin' and we'll get down to business before we get down to business." William found the frying pans easily enough, but was confounded when it came to the oven.

"Darling? How does one..." She came over with a package of bacon and a carton of eggs and placed them on the counter.

"It's electric, so you just turned the dial here." She demonstrated, and then allowed him to hold his hand above the burner to feel the heat.

"Remarkable."

"But really hot, so watch yourself." He set about laying the strips of bacon in the pan and they immediately began to sizzle. Next he unwrapped the sausages from their brown paper and laid them in the large pan as well. Buffy was busy setting the table and pouring them orange juice. She then put coffee and water in the coffee maker, proceeding next to the preparation of the pancakes. Meanwhile William cracked several eggs into a bowl and whisked them with a fork. Buffy sauntered up next to him at the stove. She placed a slice of butter in her own pan, then turned on the burner and watched it melt.

"I cheated and bought the premixed stuff," Buffy explained, showing him a milk carton. "I've had it before though, it's really delish. I got maple syrup to go with it."

"I'm sure it will be a treat. Do you do this sort of thing often?" Buffy spread the butter around the pan with a spatula then poured in the batter for silver dollar pancakes.

"Cook in the nude? Or just cook?"

"Either."

"I'm a kitchen virgin...Buffy doesn't cook, Buffy ruins water. But I've been practicing, I'm not so bad anymore. Pancakes are easy, just wait for the little bubbles, then flip!"

"Sound logic I'm sure." He stifled a rather un-masculine giggle and Buffy gasped at his audacity. She reacted and gave his bare bottom a good swat. "You're a wicked woman. If I weren't standing before a pan of frying grease, I'd take you over my knee!" Buffy practically purred at his admission. Her hand cupped one of his tight white bum cheeks, leaning in close.

"Promise, lover?" She caught his hand before he dropped his spatula in the pan and sprayed them with boiling fat. "Sorry."

"No, no, quite all right."

"You're crimson red, honey." He was deeply embarrassed, but Buffy kissed his shoulder and flipped their pancakes. "Is it time for the eggs yet?"

"Soon, yes, where's the bread?" She turned around and grabbed the loaf off the table and handed it to him. He lay two slices in with the bacon and sausages and Buffy scrunched up her face. "Trust me, dearest, you'll love it."

"I'm not sure my heart will! Tomorrow we're having fruit salad and oatmeal." He pushed the bread to the side and pour in the egg mixture, letting it settle up before moving it around the pan.

"Perhaps we'll do this only on anniversaries."

"Agreed. But can we do the naked breakfast thing lots?"

"Of course."

"Good. Okay, I'm good to go here, how about you?"

"Everything's ready. Fetch the plates, princess."

"Princess?"

"I'm your loyal subject."

"No, you're my partner." She retrieved the plates and he filled their plates to overflowing. Buffy brought their coffee to the table and pulled her chair close to his. "Okay vinyl seats are not of the good. I'm sticky, and not the good kind." Dutifully, William retrieved two cushions from the couch for them. "Much better, you always take such good care of me."

"I hope so...I don't remember."

"You did. This is nice, don't you think? Just us being us."

"It is, tuck in." He motioned to her plate, but first she liberally poured the syrup over both their plates. At the first combined mouthful of eggs, pancake and bacon, Buffy moaned in appreciation. William echoed that sentiment. For someone so tiny, he took note of how she wolfed down her food. "I thought I was the one who didn't need to breathe?" Buffy looked up from her plate, rather embarrassed.

"Sorry...was kinda hungry. Guess my manners leave something to be desired, huh? You're probably used to girls who sit up straight and eat like little birdies?"

"Buffy, my heart, there is nothing about you that isn't perfection in my eyes."

"You're being nice."

"I'm a gentleman, but I'm no liar. As for manners, they're hardly something mind when we're alone together. You are beautiful in all your faults. Not that you have any, because you don't."

"Nice save. How's your food?"

"Spectacular. I've missed this sort of thing; it's been years since I had a good fry up."

"I bought scones for tea time, and tea! They didn't have any clotted cream, but I got strawberry jam instead."

"Brilliant! That was very thoughtful of you, dear."

"You're far from home, so I thought it might make things more bearable until we decide what to do."

"I miss England, greatly, but wherever you are, my love, is home." He took her hand in his and held whilst they finished their breakfast. Afterwards, Buffy piled the dishes in the sink, deciding they could clean up later. William first retrieve his spectacles from the bathroom, then swept the quilt off of the bed and spread it out on the couch, then chose a book off of the book shelf and guided Buffy over to the couch. He reclined comfortably, and then invited her to lie in his arms. He wrapped the quilt around them both and opened the book. "Morning and evening Maids heard the goblins cry: "Come buy our orchard fruits, Come buy, come buy: Apples and quinces, Lemons and oranges, Plump unpicked cherries- Melons and raspberries, Bloom-down-cheeked peaches...." Buffy reclined against William's chest and let the dulcet cadence of his voice lull her as he recited the poetry. Her hands caressed the arms that were wound around her waist and she smiled to herself, listening intently to his recital.

He definitely had a way about him that reminded her of Spike, full of passion and feeling, but when the times were quiet he was subdued and romantic.

"Don't fall asleep on me, love," William said, kissing the top of her head.

"I wasn't, you read beautifully."

"Mother always said so."

"I wish I could've known her. My mom loved you."

"She did?"

"Mmm hmmm."

"You two go on famously. You'd sit together and talk for hours over cups of hot cocoa."

"It was always just mother and I..."

"Us too, except there's Dawn, my sister. You were her best friend, she idolized you."

"I miss family."

"Well you have one now. When should we go to England?"

"I'd like to say goodbye to our friends at Wolfram and Hart, they were very kind to me. But I'd like to go soon, I need a place where my feet can walk on the soil my ancestors once stood. I need to feel the connection to the land; I'll find peace there in your arms."

"William?"

"Yes, my treasure?"

"Make love to me?" He lay the book down on the coffee table, and then tightened his arms around her waist.

"There is nothing I'd like more in all the world to be with you, darling. But I've afraid I've never....rather, to say, I do not know how to please a woman."

"You know how, William."

"Where ought I to start?" Buffy rose to her feet and William's grabbed for her, not wanting to endure a single second of not touching her. Se grasped his hand and pulled him with her back to the bedroom. Buffy lay down on the small bed, resting her head on the pillow and spreading her legs, inviting him to lay himself between them. Still holding his hand, she'd tugged him forward until he got the idea. William eased himself down atop her, nestling his rapidly growing erection between the cradle of her thighs.

"I thought we'd start with the traditional way, work ourselves up from there. You can start with a kiss, William. We already know you're really good at that! Let's take these off first..." She reached up and removed he spectacles, setting them aside. He eased down and brushed his lips across hers, then let his weight settle upon her as he capture her lips with his. He tongue caressed hers, careful yet urgent, still learning. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and kept him close, encouraging him with running her fingers through his curly hair. She was never going to let him slick it back again as Spike had.

The evidence of his arousal stiffened against her, nudging at her opening. He felt the head of his cock dip inside her and pulled away from the kiss.

"I..." he began, voice wavering, "What now? What should I do?" Buffy smiled kindly up at him, her heart going out to him in all his innocence. He hands traveled down his back and ribs, then cupped the globes of his ass and pulled him into her. He shuddered as he felt her slick walls stretch to accommodate his girth. He never thought anything in the world could feel so blissful. Nor so tight. He fit inside her perfectly, as if they'd been made for each other. "Oh god!"

"I know, baby....I've missed you so much!" He looked at her with tears in his eyes.

"This is love, isn't it Buffy? All those dreams I had, all the words that poured from my heart. This was what I'd been searching for. I love you. I love you!" With each syllable uttered his hips began to move, thrusting and getting used to the sensations. Buffy's knees rose up to allow him a deeper penetration. Her hands roamed over his naked back, encouraging him on, gasping when he stroked just the right places inside her.

"This is love, William."

"Is it me you lo..."

"You, William, I love you. No matter what, I'll always love you!"

A year and some months later...

"Quickly!" William shouted, hoping his voice could be heard over the torrential downpour he and his wife were presently running through. Hand in hand they crossed the street is a mad dash for cover. They'd enjoyed a cool early winter's walk around the perimeter of the park after dinner. Tonight was their one year wedding anniversary and William had insisted they celebrate in style. First things first, he took her shopping for diamond earrings to match the solitaire she wore on her finger. His position as Giles' right hand man in the New Watcher's Council came with a handsome salary. William was very pleased to know, that despite the demon inside him being dormant, he still had Spike's strength and stamina, much to Buffy's pleasure. Unfortunately he did have to abide by the normal rules of a vampire's life, mainly staying away from the sun.

When the rain began, the pair broke into a sprint towards home. Buffy slipped once in her far too high heels, but William kept her up and kept them running. They'd neglected to bring along an umbrella. They reached the stoop of their apartment, the eaves barely shielding them from the heavy drops. William fumbled for his keys inside the pockets of the black leather duster he wore continuously in Spike's honor. Finally he produced them and with cold, trembling hands managed to unlock the door. Finally out of the rain they began to laugh.

Leaving a river of wetness behind them as they ascended the stairs to their top floor loft, the pair stumbling over each other, unable to break apart their vigorous mouths from devouring their mate's.

"Pet, mmmm...just...mmmm...a..." William tried to speak around her mouth. "Must...ahhh...door....."

"I want you..." Buffy breathed out, her hands already unbuttoning his suit jacket and unbuckling his belt. Successfully, Buffy accomplished her task before he could open the door, she pulled out his impressive erection and began to stroke it.

"Buffy!"

"Get the door open or I'm going down on you in the hallway!" Quick as lightening he inserted the key into the lock and opened their front door. He managed to retrieve the key before Buffy shoved him through the door. He knew what she wanted and where she wanted it. As he closed the door and locked it again, Buffy pulled his coat off his shoulders, then the suit jacket, yanking down his tie, but before she could tear open his shirt, he stalled her motions.

"I'll start a fire, you get the wine." She exhaled, suddenly embarrassed at her actions, though he certainly wasn't. His hands wrapped themselves around her neck, then down her shoulders. "I want to ravish you in the dark, the fire alighting our skin while the rain crashes against the windows. I want you on your hands and knees, panting like you're in heat for me, begging for my cock..." Speechless after that little command, Buffy went to the kitchen and retrieved the chilled white wine they'd put in the fridge before going out, and two glasses. She returned to the living room where William was stoking the fire, already naked. He'd discarded his wet clothes by the front door. He was almost always prim and proper, but tonight they hadn't a care in the world.

Over the course of the past year or so, Buffy had discovered that her irrepressible poet was a more integral part of Spike than she'd known. William was all about passion, with the odd kink thrown in for good measure. When they were alone he wasn't shy about anything anymore, least of all sex. It took him a while to gain comfort in sometimes being the one in control, but once he got a taste of it, he loved it and so did Buffy. She knew that when he'd lived he'd had no opportunities to be a man, merely seeing to the affairs of his estate and caring for his ailing mother. Buffy let William be himself and he'd proved to be the kindest, most passionate and amazing man she'd ever known.

She came over to him and handed him the bottle and glasses before disrobing and coming down to the sheepskin rug that lay before the roaring fire. He poured them each a glass and waited for her to join him.

"I've changed my mind," he said, giving her the wine glass. Buffy curled up next to him and they watched the fire together, sipping their wine.

"About what?"

"I'd like to make love to you slowly instead, like our first time. Celebrate it. I don't want to be some horrid brute."

"That's not what you are, and it's not like I can't handle it. Still the Slayer here."

"It is...enjoyable...on occasion, but I prefer it slow and tender." She leaned in and kissed him sweetly. "Your hair's soaking wet."

"I was in the rain. You're cold."

"I'll be warm soon enough. A toast first."

"Alright." Holding his glass up, William cleared his throat and began.

"Buffy, my love, my wife......my...this........wife....day....." William's words fell away and were replaced by a sudden tremor that made his entire body shake. "Take.....the......glass..." Most of the wine spilled as a now panicking Buffy took the wine glass from him before it shattered in his hand.

"William? Tell me what's the matter!" He gripped his head, moaning in sudden and violent agony. When Buffy touched him he leapt forward, throwing them both several feet across the room. He landed on top of her, cock shockingly hard against her thigh. He gripped her shoulders with bruising force and it took Buffy several seconds to come back to herself.

When she opened her eyes she was at first dizzy and the fire seemed too close and too bright, but soon enough she realized it wasn't the fire, but the yellow eyes of a demon. "Spike?!" Buffy cried, in too much shock to react beyond the calling of his name. He snarled viciously and lunged for her throat.

The Slayer could have stopped him, but for a reason she couldn't formulate into rational thought, she didn't. His fangs sliced through her skin and delved deep into the vein. The vampire sucked ravenously, pulling her blood from her body, ignoring her protests as she struggled beneath him.

"Spike..." Buffy cried quietly, feeling unbelievably dizzy and ill from such a sudden loss of her blood. "Spike, stop...please!! Spike!"

Her words finally penetrated his psyche and he realized she was in pain, what he was doing and his own state of arousal. Suddenly horrible images from their past flashed through his mind. He let out a wounded, panicked cry and pushed himself off her, skittering back across the rug until he hit the arm chair. Buffy was weak and disoriented, but managed to crawl towards him. The closer she got, the better she could hear the disturbing words pouring nonsensically from his mouth.

"Hurt...hurt the girl...hurt my girl...my Buffy....I'm all dirty again, never come clean....can't....Buffy, don't let him send me away, you've been mine for a year.......died for her, I did...."

When Buffy reached him he began to sob, shrinking from her and curling himself into a ball, trying to hide. Gently she took hold of his hands and put them around her waist, then with her own she cupped his face and directed him to look at her.

"Baby, listen to me, you're not dirty. You don't have to be afraid."

"I hurt you." He wanted to look away in shame, but her eyes were so full of love and offering him solace, he couldn't turn away.

"No you didn't, you were hungry, I understand. It's alright. I promise."

"No alright...never alright......never again. Too much...shouting."

"William, Spike...you did it before, you can do it again. You guys learned to work together, to be one man. You're not alone this time. You know I love you, right? No matter who you are or who you become, I love both the demon and the soul. I love you."

"Love you..." He reached up and touched the blood that trickled down her chest, he smeared it with his fingertips, drawing the same patterns on her skin as William had on the bathroom mirror so long ago.

"C'mere." She pulled him forward until she could encompass him in her arms, laying his head on the pillows of her breasts. He snuggled in close to her as if he were a small child.

"M'cold."

"Not on the outside, honey, the fire's very warm. Let yourself feel it, let me warm you up."

"I've ruined your anniversary. Sorry."

"Nothing's ruined, we're together, we have so much to celebrate. Like how much we love each other. Will...Spike....I don't know what to call you."

"William. Please. Don't think I should be Spike anymore."

"You're still him...the name isn't important. But I like William, I'm used to it."

"Your husband's name, William Covington, the name you took on your wedding day."

"Yeah." She began to stoke his hair, it was in bad need of a cut, but Buffy liked it long and curly. "Do you remember how I tripped on the hem of my dress when I was walking down the aisle? Good thing Giles was there otherwise I would've fallen flat on my face!"

"I remember....I was nervous...afraid you'd turn and run." She smiled to herself. It was good to get him talking. Now she had to get his other half to open up too.

"Do you remember also that time...after you'd come home from being held prisoner by the First Evil? It was the night we took the Potentials out for training in the graveyard? I hurt your ribs when we were demonstrating....anyways, after we took the girls back to the house, we went out by ourselves."

"You held my hand."

"We walked all over Sunnydale and didn't see a single vampire or demon. It was just you and me."

"You held my hand the whole time. Like you were my girl."

"I think I was, or starting to be."

"You kissed my cheek n' told me you were happy I was there. I nearly cried."

"I could see it, I wished I had something to say...but I'm not good with words, I was terrible with them back then."

"Keep talking to me, Buffy. Just...need to hear your voice...need you here."

"I'm not going anywhere, you know that."

"I'm scared....William, he doesn't want to go away....Spike, doesn't know if you love him. I...I'm me, love, but I don't know which I am...who am I?"

"The man I love. I know you're hurt and confused and it's going to be tough, for the soul and demon to merge properly, but you've done it before and can do it again. William, after the past year and a half, you must know how vital you are to me. We're married. We know everything about each other. You know everything Spike knew. As for Spike...lemme see your face." He looked up at her, eyes full of tears, full of fear. "Come on, for me?" He changed and was humbled by her sweet smile, welcoming him home. She guided his fanged mouth to her breast, offering her blood and the intimacy of drawing it from her nipple.

He cast an uncertain look in her eyes and was rewarded by her hand at the back of his head bringing him to her. He closed his eyes and closed his mouth around the sweet flesh. When he bit into her she gasped in pleasure and rocked them gently. Her breathy sigh and the rapid beat of her heart encouraged him and he suckled urgently, gaining strength not from her blood, but from the love she infused him with.

Buffy lay herself back, taking her vampire with her until they lay sprawled on the sheepskin rug before the blazing fire. Once he was satiated, he let the ripe breast slip from his mouth. Her skin glistened in the fire light and there wasn't a drop of blood spilled. Buffy saw the puncture wounds and smiled, comforted. She pulled him up and opened her thighs to him, cradling his hips between hers. The vampire face faded away and the more familiar one appeared.

"I think..." he began, "That I would like to always be called William. I think that's who I am now...not the man when I died, not the demon I was...not even the man that came back from Africa. I'm your husband, I live in this flat, I live to love you. I'm not too sure just who I am, love."

"We'll figure it out together." He sunk his cock into her moist quim, and then they rested in each other's embrace, watching the fire. There was a gentle ebb and flow at their joining, just enough to give them a quiet pleasure that permeated to the core. The feeling of closeness and acceptance began to help William feel a balance inside himself. Both soul and demon found solace and completion in the sanctuary of Buffy's love.

Absentmindedly she stroked the back of his neck, her toes toying with his ankles. He watched the fire, tears still falling from his eyes, then hid his face against her neck. He rolled them over so that his weight wouldn't burden her, bringing them closer to the fire. With his arms wrapped around her back he began to move his lips over her throat. Shuddering breaths interrupted his attempts to make love to her, his emotions still raw and tormenting him as he searched for peace. Buffy drew back, sitting astride him. She guided her hands to her hips and began to move atop him. She didn't rise, keeping him fully inside her, but made circular motions with her hips while tensing her inner muscles around him.

"Do you still want to go to Paris tomorrow?" she asked in a quiet voice, her palms flattening across his breast as she leaned over him. Her long tresses of golden hair cascaded down over her arms and his.

"I promised...yes."

"We could stay here. We can spend the time alone, like this. We'll make love, help you feel like you again."

"I want to go. I want to show you Paris. I'll take you places you never dreamed of, show you the beauty hidden in the city. The places only demons know. Then I'll show you the places I visited when I was human. I'll dance you around in the hall of mirrors at Versailles after dark. Make love to you all over Pere LaChaise, on the tombs of great poets." Buffy laughed at the idea, but both knew it thrilled her, given the increased gyrations of her hips. "Buffy? Do you really love me?" She wasn't sure just who was asking, the demon or the soul, but either way her answer would be the same.

"I love you, only you, forever you."

"When we get to Paris can we find an old church, one out of the way where there's no crowds? And will you marry me again?" Buffy knew which side of him was asking this time. The demon wanted more proof of her acceptance and love for him.

"Yes! Yes, I'll marry you." He smiled, bright and brimming with joy. His hands closed around her small waist and he began to move her up and down the length of his shaft, her breasts and her blond hair bouncing.

"And...and I promise not to change too much! You'll barely know the demon's there, I'll still be the William you love..." Buffy pitched herself forward and grasped the back of his neck, pulling him up with her. She locked her arms around him tightly, pressings their chests together. She looked him straight in the eyes, hers were storming. With a little expert maneuvering, she got her legs around his waist.

"Stop it," she whispered, grinding herself against him and tensing around his cock, bringing them both to the precarious edge before orgasm.

"What?"

"Anyone ever tell you talk to much?"

"Yes, you tell me all the time."

"Now's not the time for talking. But I'll say this one last time. I love you, soul and demon, equally and forever."

"M'sorry...I'm all jumbled inside, don't know one bloody end from the other." Already she could see bits of Spike emerging. William rarely uttered a "bloody".

"You don't need to figure it out right now....just feel us, let me anchor you. You can feel me, can't you? Feel me....William..." Their coupling quickly reached a fever pitch. Their mouths fused together, tongues and lips devouring the others. William abandoned himself to making love with his wife. His wife. She belonged to him and gave herself and her to him without reservation. He reached for her hand and threaded their fingers together, emulating their last moments in the Hellmouth before his death. Their hands rose, illuminated by the flames in the hearth. They remembered and relieved one of the most monumental moments in their lives together. Buffy looked at him with tears shimmering in her eyes. "I love you." Her orgasm came first, as if saying the words to him again were some sort of amplifier to their pleasure. She supposed it was, as he followed her quickly after. They cleaved to each other, hands still clasped and he leaned close to her ear to whisper.

"I know."

The End