God what was wrong with him? Why in the name of all that is unholy did he do that, why the fuck would he save the Slayer’s life, especially after it was his plan that was gonna end it, his hard work had finally paid off and the bitch Slayer was gonna be dead and he could go back to Dru. Spike paced around the upper level of his crypt. But did he want her dead? No! He realised, he didn’t, in fact that was the last thing he wanted! But why? Why did he care that this girl, this slight, beautiful, amazing, vibrant slayer, live? Shit, where did that come from? The Slayer, beautiful? Well yeah, he realised she was, course he did…I mean he had eyes didn’t he, first time he’d seen her she was dancing, wiggling that hot little body all over the place, getting him, and probably half the male population of The Bronze, hard. But he wasn’t supposed to think about The Slayer like that, he was a vampire, he KILLED slayers, that’s what he did, not think about how that warm, petite body would feel against his, not care if that fire, that incredible life and vibrancy was extinguished, it was his job to do the bloody extinguishing!

He threw himself down into his chair, head tipped back as he drew a long steadying breath. He thought about all the times he had fought her, all the times he had failed to kill her, and he wondered, deep down inside had he NOT wanted to kill her, is that why he had failed every time? He thought about what Dru had said to him that first night he had fought The Slayer and lost, she told him he had left her for The Slayer, he had of course thought she was off her bloody tree, accusing him of not loving her, of giving his heart to The Slayer. He remembered the gut wrenching terror when he had thought she was going to die, the concern he had felt when he came back to her and saw her leaning exhausted against the tomb, her courage as she tried to muster up the strength to fight him when she thought he was coming back to finish her off. He remembered the hurt that had flickered through him knowing she thought he was going to kill her, how he had made every effort to let her know he wasn’t gonna harm her. how the thought of letting her go off home by herself when she was clearly so exhausted she couldn’t have fought off a fledgling, had terrified him. His anger when he realised she was shirking her training and it had nearly cost her her life, stupid little bint, it wasn’t fun learning how to sense vampires, well tough bloody shit, idiot girl, maybe now she would understand that it was important, that it could save her stupid life!

Why, why was he feeling so protective of a human, a slayer? What was wrong with him? Closing his eyes, he thought he’d get some sleep, worry about it later when he wasn’t so bloody tired. As his eyes closed he saw her, smile flashing green eyes burning with fire, then he saw her spinning, leaping, kicking, punching, god she was beautiful when she fought, he loved to watch her. Could watch her all night, but then fighting at her side tonight had been amazing too.

He drifted to sleep a tender smile playing across his face as he dreamt of running his hands through Buffy’s hair, of holding her close to him and softly stroking her face and when she told him she loved him, he kissed her softly, snuggling her closer against his body as he whispered his love to her.

He woke the next day, beautiful dreams of his slayer running through his mind, no longer fighting the truth, the realisation that Dru had been right, his heart belonged to The Slayer.

************************

Buffy had slept the sleep of the truly exhausted, she woke, bleary eyed and still not quite rested the next morning. Her mind turned over the events of the previous night, even now not fully able to process the fact that Spike had saved her life, and then walked her home afterwards! I mean this was Spike, her number one mortal enemy, the very dangerous Master Vampire who had made her death his mission over the last 3 months. Not only did he save her, he had seemed genuinely concerned for her after the fight, what was that? None of it made any sense to her at all and if she allowed herself to dwell on it any longer she knew she was going to end up with the headache to end all headaches!

“Hey, Buff, what’s happening?” Xander rounded the corner near her locker, Willow following, clutching her books.

“Hap.. Happening?” She looked hazy for a second. “Oh, nothing..”

“So you wanna hang at the Bronze tonight, Angel might be there!” Willow bubbled as Xander glared in her direction, his stock standard response to any mention of Buffy’s vampire honey.

“Huh, oh … I dunno guys, I just ah…” Buffy’s eyes grew distant like she had forgotten they were there.

Her friends noticed she was withdrawn and when they queried her about it she absently told them she was just tired. I mean she was tired, so not really with the avoidy there right!

That afternoon when she joined her Watcher in the library for training she asked him if there was any way they could work on her slayer sense thingy. Giles was very enthusiastic and assured her that they would start work on it that night, he would join her for patrol, which he said would be pleasant as he had not joined her in a patrol for a while now. Yeah pleasant, Buffy thought…goody!

Practice though she may that night her ability to tap into her slayer sense showed no markable improvement, in fact it was not until such time as the vampires were clearly in visual range that she was able to get even so much as a tingle. By the end of the night both Buffy and Giles’ patients was weary very thin.

“This just isn’t working Giles”’ Buffy complained to her watcher, “I just don’t get what I am doing wrong, you make it sound like it should be easy, like I should just be able to do it and I can’t and, and … I suck!!”

“Now now Buffy, not all slayers have the same strengths and weaknesses, you have an amazing aptitude for weapons and the martial arts where some slayers have had to work extremely hard in those areas, you obviously just need more practice in this particular area to enhance your innate ability.” Giles studied his charge, she certainly could be exhausting at times and undeniably headstrong, however the girl held an enormous part of his heart, filling the void left by the family he had never seemed to have time to have. “You really must learn not to be so hard on yourself Buffy, you have shown some improvement tonight, be it minor any improvement at all is to be applauded, I am certain that given time and continued dedication you will master this skill as you have so many others. Why don’t we retire for the night and resume tomorrow night.”

“I guess, it’s just so frustrating. But yeah I am beat, so home and bed sounds of the good. Thanks Giles, I’ll see you tomorrow. Night”

“Goodnight, sleep well and I will see you in the morning before class.”

He watched her patrolling with her uptight Watcher as he had every night for the last week. Why was she suddenly patrolling with him again? Had the events of that night frightened her? One small part of him felt a tingle of pride at having scared The Slayer, while the rest of him fought the urge to run to her and wrap her safely in his embrace, assuring her that he had her back and would let nothing hurt her EVER! He crushed the cigarette he had been smoking under his boot heel and resigned himself to continue observing from a distance as she finished her patrol with someone who was not him, bloody wanker as if the tweed clad twerp could keep his girl as safe as he could! Well the Big Bad was there regardless and if any trouble arose he would be at her side in seconds, just see if he wouldn’t!

Following along at a safe distance, where he could observe without detection, assuring himself that The Slayer was in no danger, did not currently need rescuing from the few pathetic fledglings she encountered on her nightly rounds. He loved to watch her, she was bloody amazing, she was poetry, perfection, he thrilled at her dance, rejoiced at her power, was enchanted by her grace.

A century plus of searching for something he did not even know he was missing and he found it here in the most improbable of places, his mortal enemy, this petite form that stood for all he had raged against for the better part of 120 years.

He had proved himself, two of her kind had died by his hand, tens of thousands of others had poured their lifeblood down his throat and breathed their last to the sounds of his laughter. He had locked away the vestiges of the maudlin, spineless, pathetic wimp he had been. He had remade himself; at first reluctantly under his Grandsire’s none too gentle persuasion, then later with relish, cherishing the power, the strength, the freedom from the humiliation of his former life that the demon within him provided.

Even then he stubbornly hung on to shreds, remnants of his lost humanity, whether for nostalgic reasons or simply because these small demonstrations of humanity of LIFE, drove Angelus to fury (resulting of course in yet more thrashings and on several occasions very nearly bringing about the younger vampires demise). Whatever the reason, unlike other vampires who had to remind themselves to breathe in order to pass for human, Spike in fact had to do the opposite and remind himself, when the occasion called for it, that he did NOT need to breathe. His partiality for food that his body in no way required also set him apart from others of his kind. Vampires are capable of eating, and often did in order to blend in, but that was all it was, a cover, a way of disguising who and what they were whilst hunting for their natural food. Spike however enjoyed eating, he loved the texture, the aroma, the taste, in fact he appreciated the whole sensory experience of eating.

All in all he had after initial hesitations thrown himself unreservedly into the hedonistic lifestyle his demon relished.

You would think then, given his riotous existence for over a century, given his demon’s penchant for death and destruction its delight and pride in his own annihilation of two slayers that it would protest at least a little against the current turn of events. You would expect inner turmoil, revulsion, remonstration, at the very least uneasiness as the demon inside waged war against the, until recently, believed to be extinct poet inside.

No such protest was forthcoming however, his demon glowed with as much adoration for this beautiful girl as did the residue of his desperately idealistic human self, only a urgent disquiet at not swooping down gathering her up into his arms and carrying her off to be his completely emanated fiercely from the rumbling demon within. It was this Spike fought with every ounce of self control he possessed, he clamped down on his demon, forcing it to his will, knowing that any such move would be foolhardy and would inevitably result in destroying any chance, however slim, he had at wooing his love and convincing her of his sincerity.

***********************

Two nights later he sort out his usual vantage point for his faithful nightly vigil, when the familiar sensation tingling through his spine screamed “Slayer” to him. He turned, holding his breath for the first glimpse of his girl for the night, he treasured this moment each night when she entered his domain and he would deliberately wait until his senses were filled with her before allowing his eyes to drink in the sight they had ached for all through the long and arduous hours of the day. Buffy.

Tonight, for the first time since that fateful night, she was alone. His mind reeled, she was alone! This was something, though longed for, he wasn’t ready to deal with, what to do? Every instinct in him was screaming for him to run to her side, caution was urging him to stop, calm down and evaluate. Desperation found him pacing backwards and forwards across the mausoleum roof, his hands automatically reaching for a cigarette and lighting it as he inhaled calming smoke deeply into his lungs. After a while his pacing took on a less frenzied measure, he drew deep calming lungs full of air, cursing himself for the stupid sod that he was, eyes seeking out and finding the reason for his current distress, he located her halfway across the graveyard.

“Right now mate, you can do this, just calm down you useless wanker before you make a right prat of yourself.” Spike admonished himself before dropping effortlessly to the ground and making his way silently through the tombstones towards the girl in question. Drawing one last fortifying breath he stepped out on to the path.

“Quiet night Slayer?” He enquired quietly. He watched as she started, then forcibly relaxed into a casual fighting stance, stake lowered but ready, waiting to see what he would do next. “Didn’t mean to startle you luv, sorry bout that!” He kept his actions slow and unthreatening, last thing he wanted was a stake through the heart.

“You didn’t, I mean, um….what’s going on here Spike, first you try for months to kill me, then you save my life, then nothing, I don’t see hide nor hair of you for nearly two weeks now suddenly you’re here like you and I having a conversation is a normal daily event! What is this a new confuse the slayer to death approach to things?” Buffy’s voice was harsh with frustration and no small amount of chagrin that he had been able to step out only paces from where she was with no warning, no spidey tingle, nothing to say hey ‘VAMPIRE’ here, she had been working so hard and getting nowhere fast and Spike was one hell of a dangerous vampire to have sneaking up on you like this!

To Buffy’s dismay a low chuckle escaped from the platinum vampire as he shoved his hands in his coat pockets. “Missed me did you pet?” he looked up at her, head tilted to one side and a cheeky smile spread across his face. “Figured you wouldn’t want Big Bad interfering with your Watcher time, so I let you be. An’ no luv, not tryin’ to confuse you to death, to tryin’ to kill you in any way, don’t ask my why, don’t soddin know ok, just don’t wanna see you get yourself killed is all ok, lets just leave it at that!” He growled the last out, embarrassment stealing the previous gentleness from his voice.

Cursing himself for his loss of control he forcibly calmed his tone, “so how come you didn’t notice me sooner luv? Thought you were gonna work on that!”

Buffy’s head shot up at that. Was he rubbing it in, had he seen her and Giles trying to master the illusive skill? Was it amusing to him that she was failing miserably in a something that should be an inherent part of the slayer package? She looked at his face, anticipating his usual sarcastic leer, what she encountered however disarmed her, open, honest, genuine concern was etched across his handsome features. Oh God, what was with her, Spike handsome? She looked at him again, well, if she was being brutally honest with herself then, yeah - way handsome, when his face wasn’t twisted with malice or sneering viciously it was unquestionably striking, especially with those eyes! With effort she brought her mind back to the conversation at hand.

“I’ve been trying, Giles and I have been working on it every night but it’s no use, I just don’t get it.” She pouted and huffed in frustration.

God she is gorgeous, Spike forced his mind away from that beautiful bottom lip he was just aching to taste. He fought the urge to reach out, to stroke her face and whisper reassurances to her while feathering her lips with adoring kisses. Drawing on all his strength and willpower he dragged his imagination away from the utopia of his dreams and made himself concentrate on the problem that was obviously not only endangering his beloved’s life but was also causing her great distress.

“Don’t understand luv, what do you mean you don’t get it?”

“Just that! I try, I concentrate the way Giles has taught me, reach out and sometimes I get a tingle, a little one, but not until way after the vamp is in sight and by then its staking time and no more vamp. It useless, a waste of time and one more night of trying and I don’t know if Giles was gonna kill me or I was gonna kill him, either way it was gonna be really messy!” She was miserable and her voice reflected it.

“Maybe I can help you there Slayer.” He offered.

“You? How?” Buffy was mystified.

He chuckled, his eyes sparkling with mischief, “vampire pet, or had you forgotten!” He could not help but laugh at her as she visibly started, obviously for a few moments having actually forgotten just that. “You can practice on me luv, but without the staking or deals off! I’ll disappear and you can locate me, I’ll stay fairly close to start with and you can just point to where I am, when you get better at it I’ll move out a bit farther. How’s that sound?”

“Wow, I never thought of that, this could work Spike!” She tilted her head to one side in a gesture reminiscent of the vampire’s earlier action. “Why though Spike, I don’t get it, why are you helping me?”

“Told you luv, don’t rightly know, just know that I don’t want to see any harm coming to you is all. Don’t tell me it doesn’t make any sense, I bloody well know that, but it don’t matter Buffy, I’ll be here, you need help, I’m here, you need someone to watch your back, well I’m your someone. Right now this is somethin I can help you with so how bout we stop yakkin’ and get on with it, cause at this rate the bloody sun’s gonna be up before we get anythin’ done!” Turning he disappeared into the shadows, melting away as only a true creature of the night could.

Buffy drew a deep breath, trying to absorb the tirade Spike had just thrown her way. Nothing about the situation was even close to being within the realms of comprehension as such she came to the conclusion it was far simpler to NOT try to comprehend and just do as the vampire had suggested and get on with it. Closing her eyes she quieted her mind the way Giles had taught her, reaching out she searched, after what seemed like forever when she was almost at the point of giving up and resorted to another (much warranted) bout of sulking, she felt a slight tingle at the edge of her senses. Concentrating harder she felt it grow steadier, more definite. Slowly she raised her hand and pointed it what she was reasonably sure was the direction the vampire was in.

“Well done love” Spike stepped into sight grinning approvingly at her. “Want to try that again?”

At her enthusiastic nod he melted into the night again and found a new hiding place. They continued in this vein for the next couple of hours, each success coming faster than the one before, every beaming smile and enthusiastic word of encouragement from him boosting her confidence and lifting the enormous ball of self doubt that had settled in her gut over the last weeks of failure.

By the end of the night they had completed the patrol, Spike watching appreciatively as she performed her chosen duty dusting the few vampires they came across with ease and a slight flicker of impatience as they interrupted the lesson she was finding to her amazement she was thoroughly enjoying. Her improvement over the course of the night was infinitely satisfying to both student and teacher and the delight in her eyes was more reward than Spike could ever have hoped for.

When they parted as she turned for home, it was on his promise to see her again the next night for patrol. Over the ensuing weeks Spike would appear at her side for patrol whenever she patrolled alone. On the occasions she had company, her friends, her Watcher or sometimes, much to his utter disgust, his hated Grandsire, he would watch over her from a distance. Sometimes keeping enough distance that he knew she could not sense him, other times allowing her to know he was there, watching her back as he had told her he would, he would see her smile to herself and look in his direction, letting him know she knew he was there. They never spoke about the times he watched over her, neither of them caring to question the friendship that was growing so easily between them.

When they patrolled together they would talk about all manner of things then slip into quiet comfortable silences as they walked side by side through Sunnydale’s numerous graveyards. At his suggestion they varied the patrol, no longer sticking to Buffy’s predictable routine after he quietly pointed out the dangers of the habit to her. Spike was true to his word, covering Buffy’s back when she needed it, always there to make sure no harm befell her, however in most cases his assistance was not required and he loved to lean back against a gravestone and watch her, she was bloody beautiful when she fought a sight he could never get enough of.

Eventually, as trust grew between them, they began to spar some nights, those nights were his favourites, if watching Buffy fight was amazing, fighting against her was heaven. They both loved it, Buffy loved the experience of not having to hold back, sparring with Spike was FUN, she could be herself in a way she couldn’t with her Watcher, not unless she wanted to break him, and she couldn’t with Angel because he insisted on practicing higher forms of the art, the slow precise movements designed to improve balance and concentration were boring and tedious and when she had once dared to voice that opinion he had sat her down and explained to her at length the importance of learning this skill and the reason why common sparring was beneath her dignity as a warrior. Well it may be beneath her, but God it was fun and Spike taught her a few things that… well she couldn’t imagine either her Watcher or her boyfriend would ever teach her such dirty tactics!

“What’s wrong luv?” a voice spoke softly from the darkness. He had watched her for a few moments, knowing he should leave her in peace, not intrude, however her palpable sadness was too much for him, he could not bear to see her in pain of any sort without trying somehow to fix it.

“Nothing Spike, it doesn’t matter” Buffy dashed away the tears and drew a deep breath to calm herself, how long had he been there, how long had he been watching her cry like a baby? She turned to him as he stepped out of the shadows and into the moonlight, concern etched on his face. What was it with her and vampires, I mean yeah she was the Slayer so a certain amount of contact with vampires was to be expected, contact of the dusty kind that is. However these two vampires, one with a soul, her boyfriend, well maybe, the jury was still out on that! And this other one, the one without a soul, the one who until only a few short months ago was her mortal enemy and now he was what…a friend, a confidant, a fighting companion? All she knew was there was an easy companionship to the way Spike fell into step next to her. To her left as always; allowing the greatest benefit if they were attacked, he, left handed and she right they could cover a complete 360 degrees. They had fought together so many times now, it felt natural, both knowing the other’s capabilities and as such each able to get on with their own job without the distraction of worrying about the other. There was fluidity to the way they fought, like two dancers in a complex ballet each knowing their own part and knowing that their partner would be there to catch them when the music dictated.

“Got somethin’ planned for tonight pet?” he enquired with a slight tilt of his head. She looked gorgeous, surely she was not this dressed up for a night’s slaying. He knew she always looked good on patrol, that was a huge part of The Slayer image but this was a little more dressy than normal and she looked adorable, he ached to wrap her in his arms and let her know just how beautiful she was.

“Hmmm?” She broke out of her deliberation and looked at him. “No, not really…just wandering I guess, see what shows up.”

“Somethin I’d like to show you, Slayer, back in my crypt.”

He seemed a little on edge tonight, what was with that, I mean Spike could be a bundle of energy, like a small explosion sometimes, but he was never edgy or nervous. “Your crypt hey? Not sure that is an overly wise place for me to be…you know into the den and all that.”

He moved in a blur of motion, full vampire speed, his arm around her, as he pulled her back into his chest his mouth descended to her neck. “If I wanted you dead Slayer, you’d be dead” he murmured and planted a soft kiss on her neck to prove his point before letting go. She spun, fury burning in her eyes, only to be confronted with his easy smiling face, no smirk, no sadistic satisfaction, just laughing blue eyes and a tender smile. He dipped his head, “sorry luv, just wanted to prove my point…no harm meant, though you know I shouldn’t have been able to do that right…you’re off your game tonight pet, mustn’t be allowed to happen.” His eyes were laughing no longer; instead they were darkened with worry.

“I could so have taken you then Spike” she glared at him.

“Course you could pet” he agreed, his voice only slightly disbelieving. “So, you gonna come see or not?” His question only a little less than a challenge.

“Ok, I guess” she agreed with a sigh, what harm, whatever it was this enigma of a vampire wanted to show her, her night couldn’t get any worse, could it?

They walked together across the graveyard towards Spikes crypt, it was a quiet night and the moon shone almost full out of a clear bright sky. The vampire shone in the moonlight silver-blonde hair, pale skin and black leather equally as vivid in the brightness of the night. She glanced sideways at him; he is so graceful she notices not for the first time, like a cat, not your domestic kitty but a big cat, a panther or a lynx, predatory and deadly.

He is so different to Angel, she thought, where the dark haired vampire was strong and powerful in an imposing kind of way, Spike’s was a lean strength, sleek and sinewy, definitely graceful she thought again. If Spike was a cat, Angel was a bear; muscular, ominous and commanding. Angel had a presence that dwarfed most of those around him, he took charge, was always first into the fray, when they fought together he protected her, took the strongest and the best opponent for himself and kept an eye on her the whole time they fought in case she needed assistance. Angel made her feel safe. Spike made her feel …what… powerful, competent?

Without thought Spike opened the door to the crypt and held it open for her to enter, she didn’t question this, thought little of it, it was just Spike, probably a left over from his human days when men were expected to be gentlemen. If she allowed herself to think about it she would have found it amusing really, the way he would open doors or allow her to precede him through a gate, gentlemanly manners, yet he had no hesitation at all about punching her in the face when they sparred, swore unabashedly in front of her and on more than a few occasions she had noticed his eyes roaming freely and appreciatively over her body, just one more example of the contradiction that was Spike.

Inside the crypt candles burned, dozens of them of differing sizes and shapes. “Get you anything Slayer?” he enquired, not that he had a lot to offer but he did keep some small bottles of coke in the fridge for those times he actually felt like mixing his alcohol with something, not that those times were often so the coke was mostly unopened. He removed one now offering it to her. Buffy took it with a mumbled “thanks”.

“Umm make yourself at home”, he offered, “be right back.” He headed down the ladder to the lower level as Buffy looked around the upper level, her coke remaining unopened in her hand. It was not at all what she had expected, towards the back, past the sarcophagus’ a TV stood in one corner with a couple of slightly tatty black leather armchairs positioned in front of it on a red Persian style rug. The small fridge from which Spike had got her drink sat in the left corner. Window sills and wall niches housed the candles. She lent against a sarcophagus and watched as a blonde head emerged through the hole leading to the lower level of the crypt.

Spike reappeared holding a brown paper wrapped package, he started towards her apprehension written all over him, from the trepidation on his face to his hesitant almost jerky movement.

“Umm, I know it’s still a few days away, but figured you’d be doin’ things with your family or your pals on the day, so I wanted to give this to you tonight” he murmured, his eyes downcast, his body language screaming his urge to flee as he handed the package to Buffy.

“Spike? Wha… you got me a birthday present?” Buffy was stunned. She removed the paper wrapping to reveal a black scabbard and harness, a black leather handle protruded from the scabbard, she drew it to reveal the most beautiful sword she had ever seen, only a foot and a half long, with a string of runes running down the centre, it was simplistic in design yet stunning, it dazzled in the candlelight. She wielded it and found its balance and weight perfect. The warrior in her revelled in its exquisite beauty, it was hers, this she knew, her hand and arm told her that, no one would wield this weapon as well as she.

She looked up, her eyes filling for the second time this night with tears, unlike the last these were tears of happiness, delight, “Spike, you shouldn’t have, this, its too much, I mean it is beautiful, I love it, but too much, it must have cost a fortune. I can’t …. can’t accept it Spike, you shouldn’t spend your…..”

“Buffy”, Spike cut her off, “its not too much, I want you to have it…as long as you like it that is…I had it made for you, for your height and fighting style, know a guy, demon, best swordsmith there is, owed me a couple of favours so I called them in, that’s all. Found a picture in a book, just like this one only 6ft long, big medieval thing, had him copy it but with you in mind. Harness sits on your back so you can reach behind and draw it, that way it doesn’t get in your way when you are fighting.” His eyes sought hers out imploringly, “do you like it luv, I mean you don’t have to say you do if you don’t”

How could someone so incredibly powerful, generally confident to the point of cockiness be suddenly insecure and vulnerable, she wondered. Vulnerable, now there’s a word she never thought she would use in conjunction with Spike! She stepped forward, and wrapped her arms around him, planting a soft kiss on his cheek, his eyes widened with shock, “I love it Spike, it’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever given me.” Stepping back and releasing the vampire she slipped into the harness, practicing drawing the sword, she knew she had never held a finer weapon before. The runes caught her eye, “what do these mean Spike?” she enquired.

“Don’t know pet, they were on the original, so I guess he just copied them, look right nice though.”

A short while later the two unlikely companions left the crypt and headed back out into the quiet of the night. “Walk with me a while?” Buffy asked. For answer Spike fell into step next to her, they walked together in silence, not the awkward silence of not knowing or having anything to say, but the quiet comfort of two people who don’t need to say anything.

When they reached her house he stopped and looked at her, “well, better get goin then luv.”

She reached out a hand to stroke his face, kissing his cheek again before breathing, “Thank you Spike, I really really do love my present!” She turned and made her way up to her bedroom window. Lighting up a cigarette and smiling happily to himself the vampire headed back to the graveyard and home.

From behind a tree in the neighbours front yard a shadow moved, a scowl darkening already dark features, he watched as the blonde vampire disappeared in the distance then turned his attention back to the window the girl had vanished through. With an agility his bulk belied he spun and stormed off in the opposite direction to the blonde.

“Are you stupid?” he growled at her as he emerged from the shadows the following night.

She bristled, well this was a nice…. ‘hello, sorry about last night, I was a moron, won’t do it again’ … from her supposedly loving boyfriend. “I don’t know Angel, why don’t you tell me, it seems to be what you are good at lately!” Daggers flew from her eyes “Look is there gonna be a point here sometime soon, cause you know, work to do, vampires to dust” she looked at him pointedly. Now where did that come from; she wouldn’t dust Angel, she knew that, she loved him, didn’t she….it’s just that lately he was being so insufferable, he just made her so mad.

“Spike is dangerous, Buffy, what don’t you understand about that? I mean the fact that he has tried to kill you several times should be enough of an indication, you’d think! Yet last night I see him walking you to your door, what’s with that, and a goodnight kiss? Want to explain that one? You think that is acceptable slayer behaviour? You are supposed to be better than that! He is a soulless murderer or had that escaped your keen notice?” The anger was rolling off him in waves, his normally dark eyes were black pits of fury. Silence stretched between them for what felt like hours. “Well Buffy, I’m waiting, waiting for you to explain it to me, to explain what the hell you were doing kissing Spike, it’s a shame you didn’t remember last night that you have a job to do isn’t it!”

“What are you following me now? Making sure I’m a good little girl and do as you tell me, is that it?” Her fury matched his and then surpassed it. “What that was with Spike, was none of your business that’s what it was! How dare you spy on me, how dare you treat me like I am some pathetic little girl who needs you to hold my hand and keep me safe, I am The Slayer, Angel, have you forgotten what that means, I can take care of myself! And in answer to your question I am thinking that yeah maybe I am an idiot, for putting up with the way you treat me, the way you are always telling me how I should act and what I should do, where I can and can’t go. This can’t go on Angel, this isn’t a relationship, a relationship is two people who care about each other and treat each other as equals, to you I will always be someone you need to protect, to control, God what do you think you are, my father or something. We are over Angel, just…just leave me alone ok.”

She ran as fast as her Slayer strength would allow, not caring where she was going, just wanting to get away, as far away as possible from this man she had thought she loved, this man she thought had loved her. She realised now that all it had ever been was safety, Angel was big and strong and dangerous and he made her feel safe in this big scary life that she had never asked for, the life of the Chosen One. The more she thought about it the more she knew it had never been love for either of them, ok sure there was attraction, mutual attraction, but love…no…just a co-dependency, she wanted to feel safe and he wanted to protect the innocent, shape the Slayer to be his ideal of what she should be.

Finally she stopped running, where was she? Wow she had come a long way. She needed to talk, to cry on someone’s shoulder, to rant, to rave…Willow, she needed Willow. As she made her way thru the dark streets of Sunnydale towards Willow Rosenberg’s house she reflected on the people in her life since moving here. Willow was her best friend, she could tell her anything and knew that they would always be there for each other, and Will was smart too, really smart like major book learny type smart. Then there was Xander, he was, well, Xander. He could make you laugh when there was absolutely nothing to laugh about, he was loyal and brave, though not so good on the strong and coordinated side. But there you know, even when it was hard, well impossible and it looked like there was no way they were gonna make it through, he was there and doing the best he could to help. He also had a way of seeing things that was different to everyone else, it was like he could see right to the heart of things sometimes, when everyone else was busy looking at the big picture Xander could look straight through it all to the crux of the matter.

Giles, her Watcher, he was so stuffy sometimes and very little sense of humour, although he was getting better, he even made a joke the other day, granted it wasn’t funny and really kinda lame but hey improvement! Giles was smart though, smart like Willow but in a wise way. He was also kind and caring, she loved her Watcher like the Dad who actually could be bothered with being there unlike her real one who, well, couldn’t!

She was on Willow’s street now and as she approached the house she checked for signs that anyone was awake in the Rosenberg household. All quiet, good. She made her way up to Willow’s bedroom window and tapped softly, “Will, wake up, it’s me I need to talk to you.” The girl inside the room stirred in her sleep rolling over and rubbing sleep from her eyes she focused on the window, “Buffy? What is it what’s wrong, is it an apocalypse?”

“No Will, not an apocalypse, just a need to talk”

“Come in.” Willow opened the window and beckoned Buffy inside. “What is it Buff?” she asked as they sat back on her bed leaning on copious amounts of cushions and stuffed animals.

Buffy proceeded to explain to Willow all about the fights she has been having lately with Angel and how he is constantly trying to control her, she did not, for reasons that she wasn’t entirely sure about mention the blonde vampire or his gift to her. In the months since Buffy and Spike had started their tenuous friendship she had not mentioned him to anyone, at first it was too weird, the vampire that had tried so many times to kill her suddenly saving her life, then it was just altogether too difficult to explain, her friends and her Watcher just wouldn’t have understood why or, for that matter, how she could trust him, all she knew was she did.

“So I told him it was over” she told Willow, the first trace of a sob catching in her throat. She looked beseechingly at her friend for confirmation that she had done the right thing, that she wasn’t just throwing some stupid juvenile tantrum.

“Oh Buffy, I am so sorry, but you did the right thing, really. I mean who does he think he is coming over all I’m the big man and you are just the helpless female. Just cause he’s like 400 years old or something and, yick, any way he’s old enough to be your….”

“Don’t go there Will” Buffy was smiling now, even though tears were trying to well in her eyes, she just kept dashing them away, she knew she could count on Will to make everything alright.

“Wanna stay, we can sneak downstairs and have ice cream and stay up all night talking” Willow bubbled hopefully.

“Love to Will but Mom is taking me to the Mall tomorrow to pick something out for my Birthday and I just know she will be in to wake me up EARLY so I better get home. Thankyou so much, you always make feel better!”

“Glad to be of help, just call me…that thing that you call people who make other people happy” she finished with a half smile and a shrug.

“Night Will” Buffy smiled at her friend as she climbed back out the window.

“Night Buffy, see you tomorrow night ok, have fun at the mall. And Buffy, don’t worry, you know about the ‘Angel’ stuff, I’m sure everything will work out the way it’s supposed to – you know maybe you guys just weren’t meant to be. I’m sure ‘Mr Perfect for Buffy’ is out there somewhere and you just have to wait till you find him. Does that sound all sappy and Mill’s and Boonsy cause if it does, well you know, sorry, its just that’s what I believe, that when it’s the right someone you just kinda know it” Willow flushed bright red as she looked at her friend nervously, hoping she hadn’t just made a complete fool of herself.

Buffy smiled, her own cheeks reddening with embarrassment, “Yeah, that’s what I think too, and well I love Angel, I do, in a way, I mean he is all talk dark and handsome and all that, but it isn’t that ‘forever’ love that I just know is out there!” Buffy laughed, “I guess we are just a pair of hopeless romantics hey? Oh God don’t EVER let Xander hear us talking like this, we would never live it down.”

The two girls hugged before parting ways both feeling a little embarrassed still at having exposed their overly romantic side and yet knowing that their friendship was all the closer for it.

Buffy woke to the sound of her Mom’s voice and tapping on her bedroom door, “wake up sleepy head, we have lots to do today so time for breakfast and then we’ll head off to the mall for the mandatory Mom and Daughter shopping day.”

“Right.” she thought to herself as she fought of the remaining fog of sleep, “Birthday, mine, yeah I remember!” Stretching and yawning Buffy made her way downstairs to join her Mother for breakfast. Over pancakes and juice the Summers women planned their day. First there would be facials and manicures followed by some serious clothes and or shoe shopping, then lunch, more shopping then home in time for party preparations before their guests arrived tonight. Somewhere in amongst all this Buffy had decided there was also going to be a serious and long overdue Mother/Daughter discussion in regards to a certain sacred duty. She knew Giles thought it was best if her Mother was protected from that particular aspect of her life but she had had enough of the lies and the deceit, also, more and more it seemed that her life as the Chosen one seemed to be encroaching on her Mom’s safety, so forewarned, forearmed and all that…right! The only thing Buffy couldn’t work out was exactly HOW she was going to tell her Mom and how she was going to get her to believe her!

An hour later, showered, dressed and ready to take on an intensive day of shopping, they were back in the kitchen for cup of coffee before heading off. Well, no time like the present, Buffy decided, also at home, no danger of being overheard when her Mom wigged out (which she was pretty sure she would do), also weapons at hand for proof and possible visual demonstration of slayer abilities.

“Mom”, she began, voice soft and hesitant, “there is something we REALLY need to discuss.” She looked up to see her Mom fixing her with an intent ‘Oh my God what is wrong’ look. “Ok, this is going to be kinda freaky, and also, not easy to explain so I kinda need you to let me finish and then you can ask whatever you want…ok?”

“Buffy, are you in some kind of trouble”, Joyce found it hard to keep the unspoken “again” out of her voice.

“No, no Mom, no trouble, just major wiggi-ness, ok?”

“Ok, I think, what is it honey?”

Buffy opened her mouth and the words poured out. “Right, ok here goes…vampires are real, and um, well, I am the Vampire Slayer, you know once into every generation yadda yadda yadda , hmm wish Giles was here, he is so much better at that bit than me. Anyway I kinda have special powers, you know, really strong and fast and then there’s the spidey sense, well vampire sense really but…….. I am so not doing a good job of this am I?” She hesitated looking at her Mom’s shocked, disbelieving face. “Mom, really, I know it sounds like you should call the men in white suits to come and take me away but what I am saying is true. Mr Giles, the school librarian is my Watcher, its kinda his job to train me and tell me what to fight and just plain be bossy Mr Stuck up, but hey he is good at it. And well, remember parent teacher night at school and those guys that broke in, well they were vampires, the one you hit with an axe his name is Spike he’s like a big time master vampire who is way old but not as old as Angel...”

“Angel? Your boyfriend, Angel?”

“Well, he was, but not any more, I kinda broke up with him last night, but yeah, THAT Angel. But he is a good vampire, he has a soul and he helps kill vampires and other bad guys.”

“Buffy do you have any idea how insane this sounds?” Joyce’s voice was shrill with anxiety.

“Yeah Mom, I do, really I do,” Buffy felt the hysteria building as she blurted “and I wasn’t supposed to tell you but I didn’t want to keep hiding this and having you think I’m like this major loser who burns down school buildings and gets in fights just because I feel like it and I SO don’t want you to be disappointed in me any more, I know I have caused you so much trouble and you probably wish you had any daughter in the world but me and I am so sorry Mom, I just…..”

“No Buffy, I have NEVER wished for any other daughter than you, I love you and I am proud of you,” she gathered her sobbing daughter into her arms, stroking her hair and gently rocking her, “you think of others before yourself, you are strong and sensible and I no mother could ever be prouder of her daughter than I am of you.” As Buffy calmed in her arms Joyce drew a deep sobering breath “Ok honey, start again, but slower this time, from the beginning.”

Several hours later they had finally made their way to the mall for the planned Mother/Daughter day. Both rather quiet and each lost in their own thoughts. Telling her Mum had been the scariest thing Buffy had ever done, scarier than facing the Master even, but she was glad she had done it. Yeah her Mum was freaked out, who wouldn’t be, but she had dealt. In the end after explaining things the best she could and answering a million questions, sometimes over again, she had passed the buck and told her Mom that her Watcher, Mr Giles, was the best person to ask and as he would be at the party tonight maybe she could save any further questions until then.

Buffy ran a brush through her hair, taking time to admire her new skirt and top. So un-slayery, the long, flared skirt was a soft pink, while the cowl necked top was white and sat delicately above a white satin belt with tiny pink flowers embroidered on it. Gorgeous new white zip up ankle boots completed the outfit. She performed a half twirl admiring the way the skirt flowed cloudlike around legs as a knock sounded on the door downstairs.

“Happy birthday, Buffy!” Willow exclaimed, holding a beribboned object excitedly, she looked at what her friend was wearing.

“I see the shopping day went well.” She handed Buffy the present, under all the ribbons was the most adorable stuffed pig in a pretty white lace bonnet with pink and white flowers and a big bow, a friend for Mr Gordo Willow announced, an excited smile on her face.

“Oh, Will, it’s the cutest.”

“Where’s the birthday girl?” A voice floated in from through the open door. Willow stepped aside and Xander walked in. He seemed to freeze temporarily when he saw Buffy. “Buff, hey. Happy Birthday.” With this announcement he handed her a basket, she looked at it, looking at him questioningly. She looked inside.

“Candy, yum!” She announced, she put the basket with the stuffed toy, turning as Joyce came into the room.

“Hey guys.” Joyce said, placing a bowl of potato chips on the table. “Is Mr Giles here yet?”

Buffy gave her mother a questioning look.

“He’s not here yet,” Willow said. “Oz should be here soon.” She added, hopefully.

“Well, we have been threatened with the possible arrival of Her Majesty Queen Cordelia.” Xander said.

“She told us she might come.. if she ran out of anything ‘actually interesting’ to do.” Willow offered.

“I wait with bated breath” Buffy said in mock solemnity. “Mmmm, chips.”

Willow followed Buffy over to the snacks table, Joyce came out with Soda and glasses. Xander admired the balloons.

Buffy answered a knock on the door. Giles stood there, someone else with him.

“Oz!” Willow said, excitedly. “It’s Oz.” She said, as though clarifying. “Did you two come together?” She looked confused.”

“No.” Oz answered. “We just arrived at the same time.”

After allowing enough time for him to wish her daughter a Happy Birthday and present her with her gift, a shopping voucher for the Mall, Joyce whisked the poor unsuspecting man away for interrogation. Buffy winced at the thought of what she had got her poor Watcher into and then shrugged it off, better him than her that’s for sure and he really was so much better at explaining these things than she was.

“So, Buff. What’s on the menu for tonight?” Xander rubbed his hands eagerly.

“I don’t know.” Buffy shrugged, tossing her hair back she added, “I was thinking music and dancing and party games, lots of good wholesome fun to be had by all! Later we can do cake maybe more games - or videos.”

“Ooh, party games, I love them.” Willow gushed. “Do you like party games?” She turned to Oz.

“Party games are pretty much always good.” Oz agreed, breaking into a gentle smile.

Buffy smiled to herself, he was nice, in a really, really quiet sort of way and you could see he adored Willow which made him more than alright in her books!

“Well, let’s start this dancing, you funky dance monkeys!” Xander announced.

Buffy grinned, this was going to be a whole night of fun and in the end, it didn’t really matter what they did, the important thing to her was that these people, the people who meant so much to her were here with her to share her special day.

**************

Across the street in the shadows cast by a large Sycamore a cigarette burned, its owner smiled at the obvious signs of happiness and enjoyment at the Summer’s residence. He pined to be there, to take her hand and dance with her, to join in the silly, frivolous party games and bask in her laughter. He longed to tell her just how beautiful she looked tonight, to kiss cake crumbs from her lips, to feel her lovely warm body lean back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled into her hair and wished her a Happy Birthday. These were his dreams his wishes for this night, dreams he knew would never come true so instead he contented himself with observing from afar, assuring himself that his love was enjoying her special night. He smiled at her laughter, delighted in her joy and ached with a heart that was breaking with loneliness and longing.

Chapter 10

The doorbell rang as the evening was coming to a close. “I’ll get it” Buffy told her Mom, “It’s probably Cordy, she said she might pop by. Opening the door she came face to chest with the person, or vampire, she least expected to see. “Angel, um, hi.” She stammered.

“Buffy, may I come in” Angel’s voice was quiet and level, no hint of emotion coloured it.

“Of course, come in Angel” Buffy stepped back to allow her ex admittance to her home.

“Happy Birthday Buffy” Angel said capturing her in an embrace. She hugged him back briefly then moved to pull away, feeling smothered against the vampire’s overwhelming bulk. Angel recoiled slightly at her obvious discomfort in his arms, managing to keep the hurt from reflecting in his eyes he lowered his arms and stepped back. “ Would we be able to talk, Buffy,” eyeing her friends his voiced dropped to barely above a whisper, “in private I mean.”

“Uhh, yeah, sure. Come out to the back porch with me.” Buffy caught Willow’s worried eye as she made her way through to the kitchen and out the back, ‘it’s ok’ she tried to convey to her friend, willing her to understand.

Once outside awkwardness set in in earnest. Angel leant against the handrail of the steps while Buffy stood on the porch, her hands, not knowing what to do with themselves, alternating between being folded neatly in front of her and clasped behind her back. What happened to us she wondered, when did things get this difficult between us that we can’t even be in each other’s company without feeling so damned uncomfortable. She knew better than to think that things could be the way they had been, I mean you don’t break up with someone and expect everything to go on as usual but she had not expected things to degenerate to this incredible feeling of uneasiness in his company.

Yesterday she had been on top of the world anticipating a wonderful night out on a real date with her vampire boyfriend. Today she could barely see what she had seen in him. There was nothing ‘easy’ about Angel, he loomed over people, dark, intense and brooding.

There was a constant sense of agitated displeasure emanating from him when he looked at Buffy tonight, like a preacher with a disobedient flock. As if he alone could see the wickedness of the world and even though he had tried to show you the light, the correct path to follow, somehow you had managed to stumble from it, failing him, and yet that failure was what he had expected from you all along.
“Angel.” Buffy finally broke the ominous silence. “You said you wanted to talk, so make with the talky ok”

Angel’s brow creased briefly in frustration then smoothed again as he forcibly composed himself.
“Buffy, I wanted to give you this”, he held a small velvet box out to her, “and to try to work through whatever it is that happened last night, I love you Buffy, I don’t want to be breaking up with you and I just don’t understand what happened. All I want is to keep you safe, I was trying to warn you, to make you understand how dangerous Spike is, he isn’t like me Buffy, he doesn’t have a soul and he will hurt you!” He thrust the small box closer to her, urging her to take it.

Buffy took the box, trying to control her exasperation at his insistence in continuing right where he left of the night before. She opened it to reveal a silver ring, two hands holding a heart with a crown above.

“It's a Claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty... and the heart... Well, you know... Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody.” Angel looked at her waiting for a response. “Here let me…” He reached for her hand, Buffy pulled away, looking up finally to meet his eye.

“No, Angel…it…it’s beautiful, really it is, but no, I can’t accept this. I’m sorry Angel, what I told you last night, I meant it, we are over. We aren’t good together Angel, I…I…..” her voice dropped to a whisper, “don’t love you Angel, I don’t think I ever really did, not in the way you want me to. I will always care about you, but…”

“Oh, I see. So last night we have a fight about you spending time with a dangerous animal and then suddenly today you don’t love me and you never did….gee I think I see a pattern here, what about you Buffy, are you seeing a pattern?” In his fury his voice had risen and taken on a dangerous note, dark eyes became sinister as he loomed over the girl before him.

“Angel this has nothing to do with Spike, this has to do with us, with the fact that I am sick to death of you trying to control every aspect of my life, trying to turn me into some perfect example of what you believe a slayer should be. I broke up with you because what we had wasn’t love, not in any sense of the word, you do not love me, if you did you would not treat me this way, you wouldn’t try to change me all the time you would be my partner not my regulator. Angel you are not in love with me, you are in love with your own stupid power and I have had enough of it! Get over yourself Angel, I sure as hell have!” Buffy’s voice was quiet so as not to carry to those inside, there was however no doubting the resentment which poured into every word.

“You do not speak to me like that little girl, you have no idea what you are talking about, this is NOT over!” Angel growled.

Buffy looked with disbelief at her former boyfriend, she thrust the box back into his hands and fled inside locking the door behind her. Taking a few moments to compose herself she returned to her party and her friends, trying to block the Angel incident from her mind and enjoy the rest of her night.

“Is everything alright sweetie?” Her Mom appeared at her side, with a rather browbeaten and haggard looking Watcher behind her.

“Yeah Mom, everything is alright now. Um Angel won’t be coming around any more, and if he does….don’t invite him in ok! Giles, is there a way to you know uninvite him?”


Might I enquire as to the reason for your request? He hasn’t threatened you in any way has he?” Her Watchers eyes darkened allowing a brief glimpse of something or someone much darker and considerably more dangerous than the affable tweed clad Librarian.

“No, not really, he just, well I broke up with him and he just doesn’t seem to be wanting to take no for an answer. It’s not really something he has done, he just kinda gave me the wiggins, guess I’d just feel better knowing he can’t just wander in whenever he chooses. So we can stop that right?”

“Yes Buffy, it is in fact a rather simple incantation, I can perform it tomorrow if you wish, I just need a few supplies, I am sure Willow could assist me, she is showing quite an interest and aptitude for the arcane arts.

Buffy looked up at the anxious faces of the two adults in her life, flashing them a dazzling smile. “Cake…there is cake right?”

“Yes honey there’s cake, if you are ready for it.”

“Mmmm, definitely time for sugary goodness.” Buffy caught her mother’s eye, looking briefly at Giles she silently asked the question. Was her Mom alright, had she got the answers she required from the Watcher. Her Mom nodded almost imperceptibly, yes for now she was satisfied with the information she had received, however her look indicated that further discussions may be in order at a later date.

Just then another knock was heard from the front door, Giles opened it, prepared to confront the angry vampire with a rather blunt dismissal. What he was not prepared for however was the even darker force that walked in, high heels clicking.

“Oh, hey, Buffy. Wow, your hair looks almost stylish for once.”

“Cordelia.” Xander said. “Our night was not complete until you arrived.”

The dark haired girl blinked at him as though wondering why he was talking to her, she tossed her hair, turning back to Buffy as Joyce re-entered the room, carrying the cake.

Cordelia offered Joyce a beaming smile, handing Buffy a package which Buffy accepted, surprised, as Cordy pushed past her to where Joyce was cutting the cake.

Buffy unwrapped the gift to find a moisturizer and a small cosmetics package.
“Wow.” Willow commented.

“See how she somehow manages to mock you even when giving you a present,” Xander pointed out, “amazing.”

“So..” Cordelia was talking to Joyce. “Your nails look great, I was thinking of getting mine done again, where did you go for yours. I usually have someone in to do mine but she’s away for the next two weeks on honeymoon, can you say inconsiderate!”

*********************

Across the road the blonde vampire paced, expelling the rage and fury that rippled through him. He had seen his Grandsire arrive and be ushered into the house. Moments later he had heard the back door open and close The conversation that had ensued had him almost tearing across the road and ripping his Grandsire to shreds! Infuriating enough were the things Angelus had said about him, but hey, he was a big boy he could live with that, and there had definitely never been any love lost between the two vampires, he was fairly certain that anything he himself had to say in regards to the older vampire would be far from flattering. However when he heard his Grandsire’s voice rise in fury and threat it was all he could do to contain himself, to not run to the side of the girl he loved and protect her from the malicious evil he was so well acquainted with, to remind himself that The Slayer did not need protection from one vampire, even one as spiteful and vindictive as the one she currently faced. Seconds later he heard the door open and close again and watched as his incensed elder stormed off into the night.

Fists clenching and unclenching as he paced, he reassured himself with stolen glimpses of the continued merriment across the road, laughter and occasional squeals of delight doing much to calm his anger. As the frenzy eased his mind cleared enough to dwell on the conversation that had taken place. He knew now that Angelus was aware of his continued presence in Sunnydale, he knew also that The Slayer and his Grandsire had fought about him, with the result being Buffy breaking up with him. His pacing stopped as he allowed this information to permeate, a slow smile spread across his face, his eyes lighting with the fruitless hope infusing his being. Lighting another cigarette he continued to watch the Summer’s household until all the guests had departed and the occupants had fallen into a peaceful slumber. After which time he wandered off in search of a meal, his heart lighter, his step euphoric.

The weeks after Buffy’s birthday had been almost heaven to Spike, there was no sign of Angel and Buffy had ranted at him one night about how “impossible” her former boyfriend was and how mad he had made her. Whilst offering meaningless words of support for her sake, inside his heart swelled with joy that Angel was no longer on the scene. Aside from this life in Sunnydale had progressed peacefully, well as peacefully things could on a Hellmouth. That is until this particular Friday night rolled around.

He gathered her into his arms, he could hear her heat beating, so alive still, “Buffy, wake up pet, come on luv open your eyes” he pleaded with her still unconscious form. He could smell her blood, knew if he could so could every other vampire in the vicinity, he had to get her out of here, not safe, too easy to be surrounded here. Picking her up he carried her carefully to his crypt where he lay her gently on one of the sarcophagus’ as he drew his arm out from under her he saw the smear of blood. Carefully rolling her to the side he examined the wound, nasty bump, the cut not too bad but running blood freely as head wounds are inclined to do.

It had all happened so fast, they had come across a nest, 9 vampires in total, most little more than fledglings, no problems, nothing the Slayer and him couldn’t take on easily. Everything was going well, only 3 to go, he dusted one and turned to watch as Buffy took out hers, he loved to watch her fight …God she was amazing. Just as the slayer’s stake took her opponent out in a cloud of dust the remaining vamp decided fleeing was the far better option than fighting, as he took off he barrelled into the Slayer knocking her to the ground, normally she would have been up in a second and in pursuit, however her head had connected hard with the corner of a gravestone, nothing more, something so simple, so stupid had left his Slayer unconscious and pouring blood on the ground. If he had not been there she would be dead and that, more than anything he had faced in his almost 150 years of existence, terrified him! He had stepped to intercept the fleeing vampire, fury consuming him, eyes flashing gold as he ripped its head from its shoulders before he quickly moved to kneel by the Slayers side.

Heading to the fridge he retrieved an icepack, jumping down to the lower level he grabbed a clean tshirt which he proceeded to tear in half. Folding one half of the tshirt he pressed it firmly against the wound then applied the icepack over the top of that. With his spare hand he softly stroked her cheek talking quietly to her, trying to pull her out of oblivion and back to him.

After a while her eyelids fluttered, then opened. “What..? Where am I?” she focused on the face before her, “Spike?”

“S’all right pet, you took a nasty blow to the head but I got the bastard for you. Shh just lie still. You had me worried for a while there luv, thought I was gonna be stuck with a sleepin’ beauty here.” He smiled at her with relief more than humour.

“Oh, you know how the Prince woke Sleeping Beauty up don’t you”, she teased.

His blue eyes twinkled as he replied, “think I do pet, yeah.”

To her surprise he took their usual teasing and banter a little further than she expected, leaning down he planted a kiss gently on her lips. Her breath caught as his soft lips pressed a little harder, deepening the kiss, her arm snaked out to reach around his neck and pull him closer. A longing moan sounded softly in his throat just before he recoiled, pulling away from her fast “Oh God Buffy, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

She got up fast and attempted to follow him as a wave of dizziness hit, stumbling she reached towards him and he moved to catch her in his arms. She leant into him looking up into his worried face she breathed, “Spike, please …. don’t stop” She reached up for his kiss. “Buffy!” whispering her name like a prayer he gathered her closer, kissing her deeply, his hands stroking her back in gentle circles. His mouth moved along her jaw kissing softly as he travelled down her neck murmuring endearments between kisses. He nuzzled gently into her neck near her collarbone, “so beautiful” he murmured.

Spike pulled back to look at her, his eyes shining with love. Her eyes were glazed, her lips parted and soft, waiting for his, he moved slowly, lowering his head to kiss her again, then stopping, lingering for a moment his mouth so close to hers he could taste her when he breathed.

Buffy closed the remaining distance between them, kissing him achingly, pressing closer to him, her hand snaking behind his head, fingers curled in his hair, stroking softly. She moaned against his mouth as his tongue gently caressed hers. Her breath caught as her heart swelled in her chest, filling with love and longing so exquisitely painful it brought tears to her eyes. “Spike” she breathed “Oh God”, tightening her arms around him she leant deeper into his embrace. They kissed and stroked, bodies reaching for each other, mouths exploring, tasting, cherishing. Eventually they pulled away slightly to stare into each others eyes.

“Oh Buffy, I love you” his voice breaking with emotion the words pouring out before he could stop them, as he ducked his head to hide the raw need, terrified of what he might see in her eyes, shock, horror, revulsion, he couldn’t bear to see those things, he hadn’t meant to lay his heart on the line.

She reached for him, cupping his face tenderly with her hand, stroking softly as she sought his eyes with hers, “Spike, look at me,” her voice barely more than a whisper. “I love you too” she assured him when their eyes met, hers swimming with brimming moisture, “I love you, I can’t believe it took me so long to realise it” she ran her thumb lovingly along his cheekbone, her hand warm against his face.

His eyes widened in amazement, then filled once more with love, a moan escaped him as he gathered her to him again kissing her deeply.

Their bodies pressed together aching for more contact, needing to be as close as possible, “Spike, make love to me”, Buffy breathed.

His heart ached with love and longing at her words, unneeded breath caught in his throat, his eyes blurring as tears brimmed with the force of the emotion that hit him. Pulling back he looked at his love, his beautiful Slayer, so alive, so vibrant, and so young! He longed for her, wanted nothing more in all the world than to make her his, however, he knew he loved her enough to wait for her, for however long she needed, he didn’t want her to feel this was something she needed to do for him.

“Buffy, luv, there’s no need, I love you, will wait forever for you pet, just knowing you love me, that’s enough!” His voice was soft, loving, and thick with need.

“Oh God Spike, I don’t want to wait, want you, need you, I want to make love to you more than anything in the world.” Her eyes sought his, pleading with him to know how much she loved him, how much she wanted this.

At her words a low growl formed deep in his chest, he scooped her up into his arms, pressing her close to him, kissing her lovingly he carried her down to the lower level of his crypt.

Hours later, they lay wrapped in each others arms exhausted, blissful, and content. Spike softly stroked her hair whispering words of love for his beautiful Slayer as she snuggled into his chest.