Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from BtVS. I am not using them for personal or monetary gain. This story was written merely for fun. "Bad Medicine" belongs to Bon Jovi. I hope that was clear enough. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend.

Rating: NC-17 (There's smut here, folks. If that sort of thing bothers you, I suggest you stop reading now. If you proceed past this warning, it's your own damn fault.)

Summary: Buffy's sick, and only Spike has the cure. But is she in for more than she bargained for?

Timeline: Season 4, After "Doomed." Goes AU after that. I'm ignoring a lot of the season 4 stuff, like Adam and the Faith body switch. Not because I don't know it happened or something, but because I just don't feel like dealing with any of it. It gets in the way of the smut.

Feedback and Archiving: I love feedback and am always grateful for constructive criticism. Flames will be used for mocking and taunting. I'm usually okay with archiving, just be polite and ask me first. Email: addie_logan@yahoo.com

Shameless Website Plug: My other finished stories can be found here: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/addielogan/buffy.html

Bad Medicine

By: Addie Logan

*** *** ***

I ain't got a fever got a permanent disease
It'll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy
I got lots of money but it isn't what I need
Gonna take more than a shot to get this poison out of me
I got all the symptoms count 'em 1,2,3

First I need
That's what you get for falling in love
Then you bleed
You get a little but it's never enough
On your knees
That's what you get for falling in love
And now this boy's addicted cause your kiss is the drug

Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up, just like bad medicine
There ain't no doctor that can
Cure my disease

Bad, bad medicine
Bad, bad medicine

I don't need no needle
To be diving me a thrill
And I don't need no anesthesia
Or a nurse to bring a pill
I got a dirty down addition
It doesn't leave a track
I got a jones for your affection
Like a money on my back

There ain't no paramedic
Gonna save this heart attack

When you need
That's what you get for falling in love
Then you bleed
You get a little but it's never enough
On your knees
That's what you get for falling in love
Now I'm addicted and your kiss is the drug

Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up, just like bad medicine
So let's play doctor, baby
Cure my disease

Bad, bad medicine
Bad, bad medicine

I need a respirator cause I'm running out of breath
You're an all night generator wrapped is stockings and a dress
When you find your medicine you take what you can get
Cause if there's something better baby well they haven't found it yet

Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up, just like bad medicine
There ain't no doctor that can
Cure my disease

Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up, just like bad medicine
Your love's the potion that
Can cure my disease

Bad, bad medicine
Bad, bad medicine

*** *** ***

Buffy Summers strolled through the cemetery searching for her next slay. She'd built up a lot of tension recently between the near-apocalypse and her relationship with Riley, and she was looking forward to working it off with a good old-fashioned demon fight.

She got her wish when a large, scaly creature jumped from the bushes, snarling. For once, Buffy disposed with the puns, wanting to get right to the action. She launched herself at the demon, throwing herself into the fight fully.

Suddenly, Buffy felt herself land on her back and the demon descended on her, pinning her arms above her head. Her mind spun as she tried to think of just how she had ended up on the loosing side, and how she could turn the tables again.

Before she had a chance, the demon leaned down, biting her hard. The flash of pain brought Buffy's instincts back to full strength, and she brought her leg up, kicking him off her. Buffy pulled herself off the ground, falling back into fighting stance. However, before she could make another move, she felt a sudden wave of dizziness. Her arms felt heavy, almost limp. The demon was coming towards her again, and Buffy did the only thing she knew she could do at the moment.

She ran.

*** *** ***

"Giles, you have to help me."

"Buffy!" Giles exclaimed with worry as he helped her from the door over to his couch. "You look terrible! Here, lie down and tell me what happened."

"There was this thing. And I was fighting it. And then it bit me."

"Bit you? Was it a vampire?" Giles asked, wondering if her weakness could be coming from a loss of blood.

"No," Buffy said, shaking her head slightly. "I'm not sure what it was. It was big and scaly." Buffy groaned. "Giles…I don't feel so good. It started right after it bit me."

Giles nodded. "I'll call the others, see if we can find anything on a scaly demon with a toxic bite." He patted Buffy. "Don't worry, we'll figure out what it is."

Buffy nodded, her eyes closing. "Thank you, Giles."

*** *** ***

"Why is he even here? Did he threaten to stake himself again?"

"No, it's Xander's mom. Apparently the last time we left Spike alone in the basement she came down and talked to him for an hour."

"It was more like two. Two bloody hours of hell."

"Hey, that's my mother you're talking about…"

"Oh, like you like her…"

Buffy sat up, holding her head. The room was full of voices and…Buffy paused. And smells. Nice smells. Masculine smells. She got up, languidly stretching. She walked over to the group, trying to control the sudden rush of feelings that hit her. "Find anything?" she asked.

Giles looked up. "Buffy! You're awake."

"Yeah. You guys were sorta loud."

"Sorry," Giles said, glancing down. "Are you feeling any better?" He took off his glasses.

"I don't know," Buffy said, moving closer to him. "I feel sorta funny…"

"Your cheeks seem a bit flushed," Giles commented. "Are you running a fever?"

"I don't know," Buffy replied. She licked her lips. "I do feel kinda hot…" She looked at Giles, her eyes hazy and slightly unfocused. "Could you…help me with that?"

Giles began to clean his glasses furiously. "Buffy, what are you…"

Buffy climbed into the chair with Giles, straddling his lap. "Have I ever told you how incredibly sexy you are?" Buffy asked, her voice a low purr.

"Um, no," Giles replied nervously. "And honestly, I wish you hadn't."

"Buffy, why don't you get off Giles," Xander said as he picked Buffy up under the arms and stood her up away from him.

Buffy spun around, pouting. Her expression quickly changed as she looked Xander up and down, licking her lips. She placed her hands on his chest, rubbing down. "Xander…you'll take care of me, won't you?"

"He most certainly will not!" Anya yelled, snatching Xander away from Buffy. "That's my man! Get your own!"

"I only want to borrow him!" Buffy replied. She whimpered. "Please?"

"Um, is the Slayer usually like this, because…"

Spike stopped in mid-sentence when Buffy turned around, looking at him with wild eyes. "Spike!" She walked to him slowly, seductively. Spike stared at her as she moved closer, reminding himself that he really didn't need to breathe. When she got to him she captured his earlobe with her teeth, giving it a sharp tug before letting go and whispering, "Remember everything I whispered in your ear when we were 'engaged?' Want me to actually do it?"

Spike gaped. For the first time in his life—or unlife—he was at a loss for words.

"Buffy!" Willow said, grabbing her friend. "What is wrong with you?"

Buffy whimpered. "I need a man, Willow. Now. I don't care who…" She whimpered.

"I believe this may be an adverse effect of the demon's bite," Giles said, glasses and handkerchief in hand.

"Gee, ya think?" Xander asked.

Buffy pressed herself up against Spike, rubbing against him intimately. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore her scent, knowing if he did what he wanted to do at the moment, one of her friends would stake him before he could blink. "So, uh, any idea about how to stop this?" Spike asked weakly.

"We need to figure out what sort of demon attacked her," Giles said. "And, um, for now, I think we should restrain her."

"No!" Buffy said. "Unless, maybe it's a little bondage fun…" She winked at Spike.

Spike sputtered, the images Buffy's last comment created threatening to short-circuit his brain. "I'll hold her if you gits can restrain her."

"Wouldn't you rather just take me some place where we can be alone?" Buffy asked, reaching down to cup Spike through his jeans.

"Oi! Stop that," Spike said, moving her hand. Buffy immediately put it back.

"A little help here…"

Giles had gotten the chains he'd used for Spike when he'd first arrived with the chip. "Bring her over here," he said gesturing to a chair.

Buffy whimpered as Spike picked her up and carried her, but put up very little fight, aside from smacking his chest a couple of times. "I think whatever weird power's working on her has made her weak," Spike noted, helping Giles get her in the chair.

"That's probably lucky for us," Giles replied.

Buffy's eyes were closed as they fastened the chains around her. Suddenly, her eyes popped open, and she looked at Spike with desperation. "Please. I know you want to, Spike…"

Spike didn't say anything. He just turned away, going to sit on the couch away from her.

Giles stood, going back to the others. "Research. Now."

*** *** ***

"Buffy, was this the demon by any chance?" Willow asked, holding a book for Buffy to look at.

Buffy opened her eyes slowly, licking at her dry lips. She stared at the picture for a moment, her eyes unfocused. Then she nodded.

Willow looked up, smiling. "Buffy says that's the one." Her smile quickly faded at Giles's "oh dear." "What's wrong?" Willow asked.

"That's a Mauruk demon. They, um, prepare the female for mating by injecting them with a powerful aphrodisiac, administered through a bite."

"But it'll wear off, right?" Xander asked. "I mean, if she doesn't, um, mate with this Mauruk thing, she'll just go back to being normal Buffy?"

"I'm afraid it's not that simple. In order to ensure that the, um, mating ritual, is performed to its completion, the female stays this way until the male is, um, finished. If that does not occur, she dies."

"So either Buffy has sex with the demon that bit her or she dies?" Anya asked. "That's not very romantic…"

"It…it doesn't have to be the Mauruk," Giles said. "It can be, um, any male. The key is that he, um, well…"

"Ejaculates in her?" Anya supplied.

"Well, yes," Giles said, blushing furiously.

"So we get the Slayer laid," Spike said, shifting uncomfortably. Buffy's scent was becoming almost too much for him. "Where's that wanker she's dating?"

"Oh, Buffy and Riley aren't at that stage yet," Willow said.

"Buffy has a boyfriend?" Giles asked.

"Don't worry, he's not a possibly evil vampire or anything like that," Anya said. "He's just a commando."

"One of the commandos we've been researching?" Giles asked. Xander, Anya, Spike, and Willow all nodded. "And no one told me this because…"

"I thought we did," Willow said. "We just found out ourselves…"

Giles shook her head. "It's not of consequence right now anyways. And, um, this Riley would probably not be the best choice anyway."

"Why not?" Anya asked.

"Because along with preparing the woman, the Mauruk's bite also insures that the female will be impregnated—if the man is capable of that, that is."

"So let me get this straight," Xander said, "It's not up to Buffy either finds a man to get her pregnant, or she dies."

"Not necessarily," Giles replied. "If the man were, say, sterile, then Buffy would be safe from pregnancy."

"I'm sterile," Spike said suddenly, causing everyone to turn and look at him. "Well, dead, actually. Couldn't put a bun in her oven even if I wanted to."

"Spike, there is no way we're letting you touch Buffy," Xander snapped, glaring at the vampire.

"What, are you just going to let her die then? Look at her. She doesn't have much time left."

They turned to look at Buffy. Her head had lolled to one side, and her breathing was ragged. "Spike has a point," Anya said. "I mean, it may not be the ideal situation, but unless we want Buffy to die…"

"No," Giles said. "There has to be some kind of antidote, something. I'm not letting that thing put his hands on Buffy."

"Yes, and while you're 'researching' and searching for an antidote that probably doesn't exist, she's dying," Spike said.

"Why do you care?" Xander asked. "You want Buffy dead anyway."

Spike frowned. Why didn't he want her to die? "Because when she dies, I want it to be at my hand, in a real battle—not like this." He tried to convince the others—and himself—that that was the reason.

"Guys, as much as I hate this, we don't have much of a choice," Willow said. "This thing is killing Buffy. Spike could very well be our only hope."

Giles looked over at Buffy. The flush from earlier had left her cheeks, leaving her a sickly pale. Giles knew the Mauruk's bite worked quickly. She didn't have much time left. "Willow's right. It is for her own good. I just hope Buffy understands when this is all over."

"Giles, you're not actually going to…"

Giles didn't let Xander finished. "Spike, take her upstairs."

Spike nodded, going to unchain Buffy from the chair. Buffy whimpered. "Shh, pet, it's okay," Spike said softly, hoping the others couldn't hear. "I'm going to take care of you." He carried Buffy away.

Giles stood as he heard his bedroom door closed. "Xander, come with me. We're going to find this Mauruk, and we're going to kill it. Willow, Anya, stay here and make sure Spike doesn't try anything beyond what he has to."

No one argued. Xander and Giles left the house, weapons in hand.

*** *** ***

Spike carried Buffy upstairs to Giles's room. He knew that, being evil and all, he should probably get some sort of satisfaction out of defiling the Watcher's bed like this, but instead all he could think was that the other man would probably burn the sheets when all was said and done.

When he was honest with himself, Spike could admit that he wanted Buffy, that he'd always wanted Buffy—from that first moment he'd watched her dancing at the Bronze. But not like this. He wanted her to want him, too. Still, he didn't want her to die—something that disturbed him too much for him to dwell on.

He laid Buffy gently on the bed. She let out a choked sob, her head thrashing. "It's okay, luv" Spike cooed, quickly removing his clothes and joining her on the bed. "Spike's gonna take care of you."

Buffy raised her hips feebly. "Spike…please…" she rasped. She began to paw at her clothing, trying unsuccessfully to remove them.

"Shh…just be calm and let me do it. Let me take care of you." Spike undressed her, her scent and the sounds she was making getting him ready quicker than he ever remembered happening before. Buffy parted her legs immediately, whimpering softly. Spike reached down, stroking her, her body so hot it felt scorching to his cool hand.

"No…don't tease…I need…oh god, I need…" Buffy's voice broke off in a strangled cry.

"I've got what you need, kitten," Spike told her, pulling one of her legs up so it draped around her hip. He slid inside in one, swift movement, and Buffy cried out, gripping his arms tightly. Spike froze for a moment, staring down at her. She felt better than anything he'd ever known, and he wanted to savor the moment, imprint it on his brain so he could remember what he'd died for if when she was no longer under the control of the Mauruk she decided to stake him.

"Spike, please!" Buffy cried in desperation, tears starting to roll down her cheeks. "You have to…do you hate me this much?"

Spike immediately began to move. "Wasn't trying to torture you, pet," he said. "Just felt too bloody good, is all."

"Yes…good…" Buffy said, moving her hips in time with his. Somewhere in the back of her mind a little voice tried to remind her that sex with Spike should be something bad, but all she could concentrate on now was the intense pleasure that filled her with every stroke. She brought her leg up to link with the other one behind Spike's back, pulling him closer to her. She looked up, seeing Spike craning his neck, his eyes closed in ecstasy. The thick, corded tendons in his neck twitched under the skin, and Buffy felt compelled, as if something stronger than her was controlling her actions. She leaned up, sinking her teeth into pale white flesh.

Spike's eyes shot open at the feel of Buffy's teeth in his neck, and he let out an inhuman yell, his hips pushing her hard into the mattress. Buffy let go, crying out as well as she fell over the edge.

Spike lay beside Buffy, trying to will his body to stop shaking. He'd had an idea that sex with a Slayer would be good, but not like that. He'd thought he couldn't have experienced any more pleasure than that from just being inside her, and then she'd bitten him. He could hear her breathing softly beside him, and he turned to look at her, the fear of her reaction overshadowed by his need to see her face. She was looking at him, her expression one of confusion. "Are you gonna stake me?" Spike asked softly.

"No," Buffy replied. "You…you saved my life. I guess."

Spike shrugged. "Couldn't let you die like that. 'Sides, thought it might be fun, shagging the Slayer. Something to brag to the other vamps about over a pint of blood."

"You're a pig."

"So you've told me in the past, pet," Spike said with a smirk. He reached out, skimming a hand down her body. "Though you didn't seem to mind me so much tonight."

"Any man would've done. You were just…convenient," Buffy said flippantly, but Spike could see the desire still in her eyes. He reached down, slipping his fingers inside of her, moving slowly, in and out.

"Want another go, Slayer?"

Spike had fully expected Buffy to push him off of her, tell him he was disgusting, and quite possibly throw him in a vat of holy water. Instead, she grabbed him, kissing him hard. Spike moaned, his erection immediately standing at attention again. Buffy pushed him over on his back, then straddled his waist. She slid down slowly, subjecting him to the exquisite torture of being engulfed by her inch by inch. When she was almost to the hilt, she pulled up, only to slam back down, calling out his name as he filled her.

He watched in awe as she rode him, her long, blonde hair falling around her, begging Spike to run his fingers through it. He watched her every movement, unable to pull his gaze away from her even for a second. Before, it had been the effect of the Mauruk that had made her want him, but now, this seemed to be just Buffy, acting of her own free will. Could it be that the Slayer actually desired him? Spike was surprised at just how much his heard leapt at that thought.

Spike could tell he was close, so he reached down where their bodies were joined, rubbing her roughly with his thumb. Buffy let out a loud, keening yell and left long, red welts down his chest with her fingernails, as her inner muscles contracted around him. Spike let himself go with her, leaving finger-shaped bruises on her hips as he cried her name out into the night.

Buffy fell onto his chest, her body trembling. Spike grabbed a throw from the bottom of the bed with his feet and draped it around them, holding her close. He pressed a gentle kiss into her hair. "Are you all right now, Buffy?" he asked softly.

Buffy looked up sharply at him. "Why…why do you care?"

Spike stroked her cheek. She looked so young and fragile like this, and he realized with a shock it made him want to protect her, not hurt her. "I didn't want you to die."

Buffy could take his crude behavior, his threats and taunts. But this, this kindness and concern for her well-being… It wasn't something that was supposed to be coming from Spike. "Get out," she said, her eyes suddenly hardening.

Spike stiffened in surprise. "Buffy…"

Buffy pushed off of him, wrapping the throw tightly around her. "This doesn't change anything between us, Spike. I'm still the Slayer, and you're still an evil, disgusting thing. Get away from me. I don't want to be reminded of what I just had to do."

"Had to do?" Spike asked, getting up and putting his pants back on. "Maybe the first time was demon influence, Slayer, but that second time—that was all you. You wanted it, pet. You wanted me."

"Get out!" Buffy yelled.

Spike finished dressing. "Well, I can certainly see why no one ever sticks around for a repeat performance with you, Slayer," he sneered before leaving the room, slamming the door behind him. He heard something glass shatter against the door and knew she'd thrown something at his retreating form, but he didn't care.

Willow and Anya were sitting on the couch, looking up at him expectantly. "Is Buffy gonna be okay?" Willow asked.

"Yep. Back to her normal holier-than-thou self. Glad I could help with that."

"Sounded like fun from down here," Anya said.

"Yeah, well, I faked it," Spike snapped. "I'm going back to the whelp's basement."

"You're not really supposed to wander around on your own," Anya said.

"Then tag along, I don't bloody care," Spike replied. "But I'm certainly not staying here with the Slayer."

"You two can go," Willow said. "Buffy would probably rather Spike left now anyway." Spike scoffed at Willow's last statement, but didn't say anything.

"All right," Anya said, standing up. Spike started out the door. "Hey, wait for me!" she called, running after him.

Willow walked upstairs, knocking lightly on Buffy's door. "Hey, it's me…"

Buffy opened the door. She was dressed again, but disheveled. "Hey, Will."

"You okay?" Willow asked.

"Been better. But I'm not dead, so that's something—I guess. Did Spike leave?"

"Yeah, he and Anya went back to Xander's. It's just us. Do you need to talk?"

"There's not anything to say. I…I had to have sex with Spike."

"I know, Buffy. It must have been awful for you."

Buffy immediately flashed back to the mind-numbing pleasure she'd felt with Spike inside of her. "Yeah…awful. He'll probably never let me live it down and…oh god, what am I going to say to Riley?"

Willow frowned. "I'm sure Riley would understand. I mean, you had to, right? It's not like you had sex with him when you weren't under some freaky demon mojo."

Buffy paled slightly. "Yeah, I'm sure Riley will totally be understanding about the fact I had hot, passionate sex with a gorgeous vampire."

"It was hot and passionate?" Willow asked. "And you think Spike's gorgeous?"

"No! I mean, uh, that's what Riley will think. You know how guys are, always jumping to crazy conclusions."

"Uh huh."

"Look, I don't really want to talk about this. It happened, and there's nothing I can do about it now. I just want to go back to the dorm, go to sleep, and forget about the whole thing."

"Maybe you should stick around here for a bit. Giles and Xander aren't back yet, and…"

Downstairs, the front door opened. "We're back!" Xander called.

Buffy went downstairs, brushing past Willow. "Did you kill it?" she asked.

"Yes," Giles said. He took off his glasses before asking his next question. "How did, um, things go with Spike."

"Fine. I'm cured. Now let's never speak of it again."

"That's quite all right with me," Giles said. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to, um, burn my sheets."

"Actually, we never bothered to get under the sheets," Buffy said. "So just the comforter…" She saw the look of horror on the faces of her Watcher and her friends. "I'm just gonna go back to the dorm. You coming, Will?"

"Yeah," Willow replied. "Let's go."

*** *** ***

It had been three days since the incident with the Mauruk demon, and Buffy had managed to avoid bringing up the subject with any of her friends—mainly because she'd been avoiding them as well. But one nagging question from something Spike had said that night made her finally seek him out.

"What do you mean he moved out?" Buffy demanded to know, her hands firmly set on her hips. "He's a cold blooded killer, Xander. You can't just let him wander around on his own."

"Cold blooded killer with a chip in his head," Xander reminded her. "Look, living with him was no picnic. And the damper if put on my sex life… I mean, it's not like Anya and I could do anything with him here. What were we supposed to do, invite him to join in? It's Spike, and…" Xander stopped suddenly. "Sorry, Buffy. I wasn't thinking…"

Buffy brushed it off, ignoring the sudden knot in her stomach. "It's no big. I did what I had to. It's over."

"So why did you want to find him exactly?" Xander asked.

Buffy blushed slightly. "That, um, night he said something about 'shagging the Slayer' being something he could brag to his friends about. I just want to threaten him a bit, make sure it doesn't get out."

"Buffy, if he dared to tell a single demon, I swear I'll help you stake him."

"Thanks for the offer, Xander, but if anyone gets to stake Spike, it's gonna be me. I think I've more than earned it."

"I can give you directions to the crypt he moved in to. I helped him tap a power line for it. You know, for the blood and television. Apparently he can't live in a place that doesn't allow for him to watch Passions."

"So Giles wasn't making it up. Spike seriously watches that."

"Religiously." Xander frowned. "If 'religiously' can be used to describe anything a vampire does…"

Buffy shook her head. "All right. Crypt. Where is it?"

*** *** ***

Spike jumped up as the door to his crypt swung open with a resounding clang. He looked up, his eyes bulging a bit when he saw Buffy. "Bloody hell, Slayer, you scared me half to death."

"Spike, you're already dead."

"Good point. Scared me half alive?" Buffy rolled her eyes. Spike crossed his arms in front of him, reasserting his usual cocky swagger. "Right. So what brings you here this time of the day? I figured cemeteries were more of a nighttime hang out for you."

"Look, the other night when we, um, did that, you said something about bragging to your friends about, um, you and me."

Spike smirked. "And what? You've come to check up on your precious reputation? Don't worry, pet. I'm unpopular enough as it is with the demon world now that it's come out that I've been killing my own kind. Don't need it getting around that I'm the Slayer's boytoy, too."

"Ugh. Boytoy? That's a thought I so do not want. Just make sure you don't decide to make it known."

"Or what? I finally meet the business end of Mr. Pointy?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "Yes. And don't push it."

"I seem to recall you liked me pushing 'it' the other night."

"Ew! Gross, Spike. You are such a…"

"A pig. I know. Heard it before. So was that all you wanted, Slayer?" He gave her a slow, suggestive smile.

"Of course!" Buffy said, the way he was looking at her making her nervous. "What else would I want from you?"

Spike's smile grew as he caught the scent of her arousal. Had the other night left as much of an impression on her as it had on him? "Maybe you want this," he said, grabbing his belt and calling attention to the bulge in the front of his jeans.

"Don't make me stake you…" Buffy said, her eyes transfixed on that certain part of Spike's anatomy.

"I think you'd rather have me stake you," Spike replied.

"Geez. Corny, much, Spike?"

Suddenly, Buffy felt herself pressed up against the wall of the crypt, Spike's vampire speed bringing him to her before she had a chance to blink. "I know you want me, Slayer. I can smell it all over you You've gotten all hot for another vampire."

"No…I don't want you."

"Then stop me." Spike kissed Buffy hard, any protest she had dying as his lips sealed themselves to hers. She moaned, her hands going up to tangle in his hair and pull his mouth closer. Spike undid his pants, then reached up Buffy's skirt, ripping her panties from her body and sheathing himself inside her before she had time to think. Buffy tore her mouth from his, crying out as he took her against the wall.

"You like this, Slayer?" Spike asked, his mouth against her ear. "This is what you need, isn't it, pet? Something wild, hard. Primal."

"Yes!" Buffy cried, almost unaware of herself anymore, only knowing that she had to have Spike keep doing exactly what he was doing. "More, Spike…please. It's so good…"

Spike lifted her up, carrying her over to the sarcophagus he'd been using as a bed. He didn't let himself slip out of her, and resumed thrusting as soon as he'd pressed her against the blanket. Buffy kept with a steady string of moans and pants, pushing her hips hard against Spike's, desperate for more. "Spike…I need…oh god, I need…"

"I know what you need, baby," Spike purred in her ear. He pulled out almost all the way before slamming back in, biting her neck with blunt teeth simultaneously. Buffy screamed, her whole body going rigid before it began trembling violently. Spike thrust a few more times before collapsing on top of her.

Buffy lay under Spike, her arms still wrapped around him. She knew she should probably push him off, but he felt so good pressed against her overheated skin. "Why…why did we do this again?" Buffy asked after a few moments of silence.

"Dunno," Spike said with an almost imperceptible shrug. "Seemed like the thing to do at the time."

"It really did," Buffy replied with a giggle. Suddenly she sobered, pushing against Spike's chest. He rolled off her, fixing his pants as Buffy smoothed her skirt back down. "It has to be the Mauruk bite," she said.

Spike looked at her askew. "Did you get bitten again?"

"No, but it must still be having an effect on my system."

"Giles said it would wear off as soon as someone, um…" Spike winked at her. "Let's just say I did my part. Three times at last count."

"No, Giles must've missed something. Some sort of more long term effect." Buffy's eyes grew wide. "What if…what if I keep wanting to have sex with you?"

"And this is bad because…"

"Spike, stop it! That would be awful!"

"Hey! I was there, too, Slayer, and I do not recall anything being awful. Best of my unlife is more like it."

"Best of your…"

Spike realized what he'd said and backpedaled. "Uh, no. Not the best ever you, know. Just of late. Harmony, was all right, but…"

Buffy held up a hand. "Mental picture of you with Harmony is not something I want."

"Yeah, me either," Spike muttered. "Look, Slayer, you can try to rationalize this all you want, but the truth of the matter is, you're hot for me."

"No! God, ew. It's the Mauruk. I know it is. It's the only explanation as to why I'd do something so disgusting."

"Well, you sure know how to stroke a man's ego," Spike muttered.

"I don't want to stroke your ego—or any part of you," Buffy snapped.

"So you want to go again?"

"Oh god, yes."

Spike leapt at Buffy, grabbing her and pinning her once again to the sarcophagus.

*** *** ***

"I honestly can't feel my limbs. Or the rest of my body for that matter. Wow."

Spike smiled, running his fingers through Buffy's hair as she lay on his chest. "Yeah, 'wow' about sums it up."

"I knew I hadn't staked you yet for a reason." Buffy giggled.

"What, you let me live all this time so I could shag you for hours? Minx."

"Maybe. Wait…hours? It hasn't really been that long, has it?"

"Yeah. It was still light out when you got here, and the sun's been set for a while now."

"How do you know? Not like this place gets a huge amount of direct sunlight…"

"Vampire, luv. I know when the sun's down."

Buffy sat up. "Oh god. It didn't…time went by so quickly."

"Guess the old thing about it flying when you're having fun rings true after all. Something wrong?"

Buffy hopped off the sarcophagus, gathering up her clothes and redressing. "I was supposed to meet someone."

"Who? One of your little Scoobies?"

"Not exactly. I have to go."

Spike got down and went after her, grabbing her arm. "Who?"

Buffy looked up at him, her eyes wide. "Riley," she admitted.

"No."

"What?"

"You're not going to meet that git. Not after what we just did."

"Spike, this was just a lingering effect of the Mauruk, okay? It's out of my system now."

"So what, we just go back to being enemies?"

Buffy pulled her arm away from him. "Yes."

Spike's expression softened in a way she'd never seen if do before, and for a second Buffy wondered if he was going to cry. "Buffy, I can't do that…"

"Look, I don't know what you thought was happening here, but it was just sex. Good sex, yes, but just sex. And technically, seeing as you're a soulless vampire, and I'm the Slayer, it was very, very wrong. It can't ever happen again."

"Fine, you bloody little bitch," Spike snapped, making Buffy take a step back. "Go snog the soldier boy. Tell yourself it's the 'right' thing to do. But don't you dare come back to me again when you have an itch he can't scratch."

"Oh believe me, Spike, I won't."

Buffy stormed out of his crypt, slamming the door behind her.

*** *** ***

"Willow, did Riley by any chance…" Buffy stopped when she saw who was sitting on her bed. "Come by the dorm and stay?"

"Buffy!" Riley exclaimed. "I was getting worried! You didn't show up for our date, and then Willow said you hadn't been by the dorm all afternoon."

"We were about to organize a search party," Willow said with a little smile.

"Well, I'm all in one piece. No search party required."

"Did you get into something rough with a vamp?" Riley asked.

Buffy's eyes bulged. "Huh?"

"You, um, have a few cuts and bruises. I thought maybe…"

"Yeah, it was a vampire," Buffy said. "Did get sort of rough there for a bit…"

"Glad to see you came out on top," Riley said.

"What!?"

"You…you won the fight. Staked it."

"Right…came out on top as in won. Got it. Yeah, I did that, uh huh."

"Buffy, are you all right?" Willow asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired."

"Of course you are, after your night," Riley said, pushing a strand of hair behind Buffy's ear. "Want to take a rain check on our date?"

"You don't mind?"

"No, it's fine," Riley said. "It's getting late anyway." He kissed her forehead. "You get some sleep, and I'll call you tomorrow."

"All right. Thank you for being so understanding."

"No problem. Good night, Buffy."

"Good night, Riley."

As soon as Riley left the room, Buffy flopped back on the bed. "Willow, I'm a horrible person."

"For canceling a date with Riley because of a vampire?"

"Yes."

"But Buffy, Riley knows that you're the Slayer…"

"You don't understand. The vampire I was with tonight—it was Spike."

"You staked Spike!? Did the chip stop working?"

"No, the chip works fine. And I didn't stake him."

"Then what…oh." Willow's eyes grew wide as full recognition sunk in. "Oh!"

"It must be something left over from the Mauruk bite. Maybe Mauruks make their, um, mates want them a few more times, to, you know, make sure everything worked out all right…"

"Giles read everything he could about them, Buffy, and he said that you should be completely cured now."

"No! I can't be! Otherwise, why would I let him do those things to me? I couldn't stop, Will. I knew I should stop, knew it was wrong, but…but I just kept going. Over, and over, and over again."

"Over and…wow."

"Don't say anything to anyone else about this," Buffy said. "Xander and Giles would freak, and Riley… Oh god, I don't even want to think about how this could mess things up with him."

"Don't worry, Buffy. My lips are sealed. But if this Mauruk mojo is still affecting you, then don't you think you should talk to Giles about it? Maybe he can figure out some sort of antidote that doesn't involve romps with the undead."

"No! Look, I was fine until I saw Spike. It must just be affecting me with him, because he was the one to, um, take care of the problem. If I can stay away from him, it'll be fine. And how hard can staying away from Spike be? I mean, it's Spike. I hate him." Buffy sat up, a look of determination on her face. "It'll be simple. All I have to do is stay away from Spike."

*** *** ***

"Spike! Yes! There!"

Spike looked up from his vantage point between the Slayer's legs. He knew if he had any pride at all, he would've thrown her out on her pretentious arse the second she came on to him again. But, he rationalized, that wouldn't be nearly as much fun as this.

Buffy looked down, her eyes wild. "Why…why did you stop? Keep going!"

"If the lady insists," Spike said with a smirk, taking the sensitive nub into his mouth and sucking hard. Buffy screamed, pulling at his hair and bucking her hips. Spike continued his actions until Buffy's body stopped trembling, and she began to push him away.

"I can't…stop…it's enough."

Spike crawled up her body, reminding Buffy of a jungle cat. He kissed and nipped his way up the side of her neck before reaching her ear. "Gonna let me in again, Slayer?" he asked, his voice rough with desire.

Buffy said nothing, but her legs fell open. Spike took hold of her hands, holding them tightly as he slid inside her.

*** *** ***

*** *** ***

"Guess now you know what it takes to pry apart the Slayer's dimpled knees…"

Spike groaned. "Did I actually say that?"

"Yes, you actually did."

"I was, um, mad with power. The ring."

"Riiight. You're just lame."

"If I wasn't completely shagged out, I'd have a witty comeback for that."

Buffy chuckled, then winced slightly. "You seriously need a bed in here. This sarcophagus is murder on the back."

"I thought you said earlier that this is the last time you're ever doing this."

"It is. I just, um, meant for you. On second thought, keep the sarcophagus. I totally don't care about your comfort level."

"You know, Slayer, we don't have to stop this," Spike said, tracing patterns on her bare abdomen. "I mean, it's a lot more enjoyable than trying to kill each other—though that had its perks, too. And it's not like you haven't gotten involved with a vampire before…"

"Angel was completely different. He had a soul. You're just…a monster."

"So, what, you're just going to go back to Captain Cardboard? Come on, Slayer. You and I both know that he's not enough to satisfy you. He's…boring."

"Riley is plenty interesting."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure he's good for hours of stimulating conversation."

"Like we've ever had a conversation."

"We're having one right now."

"This isn't a conversation. It's an argument."

"Well, it's gonna be if you keep being so…argumentative."

"Ugh. I have no idea why I came back here with you tonight."

"Cause you ran into me in the cemetery and couldn't keep your hands off me."

Buffy frowned. "Oh yeah. What were you doing there anyway?"

"Um, I live here. So to speak. Why were you patrolling my cemetery?"

"The others were dead." Buffy winced. "No pun intended."

"Sure you didn't just want to see me, Slayer?"

"I never want to see you, Spike."

"But you want to feel me, don't you, pet? Want to feel me all over you…inside of you."

Buffy sat up. "Stop it."

Spike's fingers ghosted up and down her back. "So it's 'stop' now. Earlier you were begging me to never do that. Ever."

Buffy turned, slapping him. "Don't touch me. Don't ever touch me again." She moved away from him, dressing quickly.

"And she's off," Spike muttered, continuing to lounge on the sarcophagus. "You know, this is starting to get a bit redundant."

"Well, I'm putting an end to that, because I'm never coming near you again. And if I see you, I'll stake you. Got it?"

Spike grabbed his duster off the ground, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and lighting one. He took a drag. "Whatever, Slayer. Go play nice with your boy. See if I care. Riley. What kind of poofter name is that anyway?"

Buffy ignored him. When she'd finished dressing, she turned to him again, brandishing a stake. "You just stay the hell away from me, Spike. Whatever's going on here, it isn't what I want. It's just something that demon did to me, and I'm not letting you take advantage of me anymore."

"Take advantage? You were beggin' me to…"

Buffy threw the stake. Spike caught it, centimeters away from his chest. "Hey. Watch it with the pointy sticks."

Buffy only glared at him before walking out again. Spike threw the stake to the ground and finished his cigarette.

*** *** ***

"Is it possible for us to learn to behave in a way contrary to the way we would normally? According to the theory of operant conditioning, the answer to this is yes. Through this type of conditioning, an organism will learn to modify its behavior in response to the comparison between the behavior enacted and the output received. Naturally, the organism will begin to act in the way that allows it to receive the most pleasurable experience."

Buffy slunk in her chair as she listened to Professor Walsh's lecture. Her mind wandered, unbidden, to Spike. Was that why she wanted him—because she'd found a more "pleasurable experience" than fighting him? Was she helpless against her own biology, "conditioned" to want Spike every time she saw him?

No, Buffy told herself, that couldn't be the case. She had free will, the ability to make choices. It didn't matter how pleasurable being with Spike was, it was very wrong, and not what she wanted.

Her gaze traveled down to Riley. What did she want? She had originally been drawn to Riley because she'd wanted a normal boyfriend, someone outside the world she occupied as the Slayer. But now that she'd found out Riley wasn't that, did she still want him? "Normal" or not, he was still good. He was strong, supportive, dependable. She knew she could trust and rely on him in a way she never could with Angel, even before Angelus had resurfaced. With Riley, she saw what could become a safe, comfortable, long-term relationship.

But was that what she wanted? Would getting seriously involved with Riley really mean giving up passion, fire, like she'd worried before? And if it did, was that something worth giving up for comfort and security?

Her mind went back to Spike again. He could make her melt more from a glance than Riley could from his most heated kiss. Now that she thought about it, no one since Angel had ever worked her up nearly as much as Spike did. Angel and Spike didn't have a lot in common—aside from the obvious. Was that what drew Buffy to both of them, the fact that they were vampires? Was she some kind of monster lover? Buffy felt suddenly sick to her stomach. She was supposed to kill vampires, not crave them like a drug. What was wrong with her? Surely none of the other Slayers had had this problem…

"Buffy? You in there, Buff?"

Buffy jumped at the sound of Willow's voice. "What?"

"Class is over. People are leaving. Thought maybe you'd like to follow their example."

"Oh. Right. Sorry. Something Professor Walsh said got me thinking."

Willow elbowed Buffy. "Sure. You were probably having another Riley daydream."

Buffy gave Willow a stern look. "Come on, nosy. Let's go back to the dorm."

Riley was waiting for Buffy in the hallway. "Hey! We're still on for tonight, right?" he asked.

"Tonight?"

"The Bronze. We were…"

"Rain check. Right," Buffy said. "I didn't forget, I swear. I just…temporarily misplaced the information in my brain."

"Sure. Pick you up at seven?"

"You bet."

"Great. I have some stuff to do now, but I'll see you then."

"See you then," Buffy echoed. Riley gave Buffy a wide smile before jogging off.

"So are things still good between the two of you?" Willow asked as she and Buffy began to walk.

"Of course! Why wouldn't they be?"

"You're seemed sort of on edge around him ever since," Willow lowered her voice, "ever since what happened with Spike."

"Ugh. Do we have to bring up that unpleasant subject?"

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm just worried about you. You said before that you thought the Mauruk bite was still affecting you. Is it now?"

"No! I am back to completely despising Spike. Riley is the only man I want. Spike bad, Riley good."

"Spike bad, Riley good? Have you been drinking?"

Buffy elbowed her best friend. "Shut up, Will."

"Hey, um, I'm going to be out of the room tonight—probably won't come back until morning. Just letting you know in case, you know, you and Riley wanted to, um…"

"Where are you going to be?" Willow asked.

"Do you remember my friend Tara from Wicca group?"

"Yes."

"I'm going over to her dorm. We're going to, um, practice spells." Willow blushed almost imperceptibly, and Buffy didn't catch it.

"Have a good time. But try not to do anything that leads to my impending nuptials, okay?" Buffy said with a wry smile.

Willow laughed for a second before sobering. "You know, I feel sorta guilty for that still, especially in light of recent developments. If I had never done that stupid spell, then maybe you'd never have had any kind of attraction to Spike, and things with the Mauruk wouldn't have gotten so out of hand."

"Don't worry about that. I've been attracted to Spike since the beginning." Buffy's eyes grew wide. "I can't believe I honestly just said that."

"Neither can I…"

"Can we forget I said it?"

"Buffy…"

Buffy looked away from Willow. "You must think I'm such a freak, getting all hot over monsters."

Willow raised her hand slightly. "Former werewolf lover here. Not really one to judge."

"That was different," Buffy said. "Oz was only a wolf sometimes. Spike is a vampire all the time."

"Oz was the wolf all the time," Willow said softly. "Just more so some times than other times. It's what really drove him away in the end."

"Spike doesn't have a soul. He's a cold-blooded killer. It's all he can ever be."

"He was always really sweet with Drusilla. And you saw how broken he was when she left him…"

"You mean when he had you and Xander held hostage in the factory?"

"Well, yeah. But…but that was pre-chip. And I'm not saying you should try for a relationship, I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself for wanting him. He is kinda sexy—in his own sort of Spike way. Nice accent."

"I don't want him. It was just the Mauruk."

"But you just said…"

"Hey, look, it's our door!" Buffy said as she and Willow approached their dorm room. "Let's go inside!" She unlocked and opened the door. "I think I'm going to get a head start on my homework."

"Buffy, it's Friday afternoon. Even I don't…"

"I have a lot of reading," Buffy said. "I don't want to put it off until Sunday, and then have an apocalypse to stop and not get it done."

"Right. Well, I'm going to get my stuff together to go over to Tara's, and while I do that you can pretend to read so I'll stop asking you about Spike."

Buffy smirked. "Thanks, Willow. You're a true friend."

Willow smiled back as she went to her closet.

*** *** ***

"You look really beautiful tonight," Riley said, reaching across the table and taking Buffy's hand.

"Thank you. You look good yourself."

"Thanks." The music changed from something upbeat to something slow and sultry. "Do you want to dance?" Riley asked.

"Sure," Buffy replied.

Riley took her hand and led her to the dance floor. Buffy rested her head against his shoulder as Riley held her close, moving them in time with the music. Buffy thought back to Willow's suggestion that she and Riley take advantage of the fact that the dorm would be sans-roommate, and wondered if she should go for it. Surely being with Riley would make her stop wanting Spike. Riley would be a gentle and considerate lover, giving her exactly what she should want.

Buffy was pulled away from her thoughts by a beeping noise. Riley let go of her, clipping his pager off his belt and reading its message. "Buffy, I'm really sorry, but I have to go. Can we try this date again some other time?"

"Of course," Buffy said, forcing a smile. "Duty calls. That's something I completely understand."

"Thank you. One of these days, we'll get to finish a date, and I'll make this up to you, I promise." He gave Buffy a brief kiss before leaving her alone on the dance floor.

Buffy started to walk away as well, but was stopped when someone grabbed her, pulling her against a firm, masculine body. "Going somewhere, pet?"

Buffy's entire body felt suddenly overheated, despite the coolness now pressing against her. "Spike?"

"The one and only, luv." Spike smiled as Buffy didn't push him away, but began to dance with him, her movements reminding him of the first time he'd seen her.

She turned around in his arms. "What are you doing here?"

"Was having myself a drink when I saw your boy run off, and I thought to myself that it just wasn't right for a woman as beautiful as you not to have anyone to dance with." Spike omitted the fact that he'd been watching them since they'd gotten there, and the only reason he hadn't ripped out Riley's throat and dragged Buffy back to his crypt was that the chip wouldn't let him.

Buffy looked into Spike's eyes and felt their magnetic pull. His hands ran down her arms, and she trembled. "Willow…Willow's sleeping somewhere else tonight…" Buffy said nervously.

"Are you inviting me back to your dorm?" Spike asked, raising an eyebrow.

Buffy's expression turned coy. "I have a bed…"

"Do you now? Let's go test how sturdy it is."

Buffy giggled, the desire she felt for Spike pushing away all rational thought. "Okay."

Buffy walked with Spike out of the Bronze, feeling decidedly wicked.

*** *** ***

Buffy giggled as she worked the key in the lock on her door.

"What's so funny, kitten," Spike murmured, pressed up against her back.

"I feel like one of those bad girls that sneaks older guys into her room."

Spike smirked. "You are."

Buffy opened the door, pulling Spike in with her. "I feel like being a really bad girl tonight."

"Oh yeah? Maybe I'll have to punish you…"

Buffy felt a thrill run through her. During one of their times together, Buffy and Spike had discovered a loophole with the chip—as long as his actions were meant to bring her more pleasure than pain, then Spike could "hurt" her. Buffy knew that shouldn't excite her as much as it did—or at all for that matter—but at the moment, she didn't care. She met Spike's eyes and reached behind her, pulling the zipper of her dress down and letting the silk pool around her feet. She saw Spike suck in an unneeded breath at the sight of her. Buffy had told herself when she had been getting dressed that night that she was putting on something sexy in case things progressed with Riley, but now as she watched Spike's reaction to her red lace panties and matching bra, she knew she'd been, without realizing it, dressing for him.

"In over a century of existence, I've never seen anything as lovely as you," Spike said, his voice full of awe.

Buffy smiled wantonly, then got on the bed, leaning back on the pillows before beckoning to Spike with a crooked finger. Spike pulled his shirt over his head, and then stalked over to the bed, crawling his way up to Buffy. "Do you have any idea what you do to me, pet?" he asked, his voice husky.

"I have an idea," Buffy replied, grinding her hips against his denim-clad erection.

Spike grit his teeth. "I need you to touch me, Slayer. Need to feel those hot little hands on me."

Buffy reached down, unfastening Spike's jeans and taking him out. He hissed as she gripped him hard, the sensation skirting the line between pleasure and pain. She stroked him a couple of times before pulling back. Spike looked at her, his eyes dark and wild. "Why…"

Buffy put a finger to his lips. "Sit on the edge of the bed." Spike did what she asked without question. The look in her eyes promised he'd be glad he did. Buffy slipped off the bed and got to her knees in front of him.

Spike grinned down at her. "Now this is a position I like you in, Slayer." He stroked her cheek. "And before you say it, I'm a pig. I know."

Buffy smiled widely at him, and Spike felt more alive than he ever had before. She took off his boots before pulling off his jeans, leaving him completely bare to her eyes. Buffy stroked him a few times before leaning forward, taking as much of him in her mouth as she could. Spike moaned, his fingers tangling in her hair.

Buffy pulled back slowly, her teeth scraping over sensitive flesh. Spike's grip tightened in her hair as he cried out something that could've been her name. Buffy slid her mouth up and down leisurely, Spike's pleas for more falling on seemingly-deaf ears. Then, without warning, she sped up, cupping his balls tightly as she did, scraping them with her nails. Spike's eyes rolled back in his head as he fought against falling over the edge, wanting this pleasure to last as long as it could.

Buffy pulled back completely, letting him fall out of her mouth. She waited for him too look down at her. "Do it," she said, her breath hot on his damp skin. "I want to taste you, swallow you." She descended again, hollowing out her cheeks and sucking hard. Spike yelled gripping her shoulders, white knuckled, as he emptied himself into her willing mouth.

Spike managed to make it back to the pillows before collapsing. Buffy crawled on top of him, propping herself up on outstretched arms. "You better make with that fast vampire recovery, 'cause I'm still less than satisfied."

"After a blow job like that, pet, you have to give a bloke a second—vampire or not."

"But I want you to fuck me now, Spike," Buffy whined.

"And I'm good to go," Spike said, his erection springing back to life.

"Goody," Buffy said with a grin.

"I like these," Spike said, running his finger under the waistband of her panties. "Red's my favorite color."

Buffy grinned. "I know."

Spike slid Buffy's underwear down her body, using his feet to push them completely off. Buffy put her weight on one arm and stared to unhook her bra, but Spike stopped her. "No. Keep it on."

Buffy smiled at him, her hands moving to his chest as she slid back, taking him inside. She closed her eyes, a look of pure bliss on her face as he filled her. She moved slowly for a moment, letting herself stretch, before she sped up, pumping her hips wildly.

Spike reached up, caressing her lace-covered breasts. The harsh material rubbed her over-sensitized skin, and Buffy moaned, pushing herself into his hands. He raised his hips to meet her movements, breathing heavily, even though somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he didn't need to. But he wanted to. With Buffy, he wanted to forget he was dead.

Buffy felt like she was burning. It was more intense than anything she'd known. She opened her eyes, meeting Spike's and gasping. His eyes seemed so soft, his expression tender. "Buffy…" he whispered, moving a hand up to cup her face.

"Spike," Buffy replied, reaching up to take the hand from her cheek and hold it. She slowed her movements, gently rocking, her gaze never leaving his. She felt something building inside her, something she couldn't really describe, other than that it felt new and wonderful.

Spike reached between them, flicking her clit once, and she was gone. She came with a loud, keening yell, her muscles gripping Spike so tight his vision blurred. He thrust into her a few more times before coming himself.

Buffy collapsed on his chest. "Best…yet…" she said, her voice shaky.

"I second that." Spike reached up, stroking her hair. "You were bloody amazing, Slayer."

"So were you," Buffy admitted quietly. She sat up, wincing as he slid out of her. "I'm going to go down the hall to the bathroom. I'll be right back." She threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt she had nearby and left the room.

Buffy was washing her hands in the communal bathroom when her next door neighbor came in. "Sounds like you had some fun," the girl said with a knowing smirk.

"Huh?" Buffy asked, looking up, her eyes wide.

"Yeah, like all that screaming and bed creaking could be anything else," the girl said. "Sounded hot. You go girl."

Buffy blushed. "Um, thanks." She hurried out of the bathroom, not able to look at her neighbor. When she got back to her room, Spike was lounging on her bed, still undressed.

"My neighbor heard us," Buffy said, whispering. "I just ran into her in the bathroom."

Spike smirked. "With your screaming, I'd think so."

"I do not scream" Spike raised an eyebrow, and Buffy sighed. "Okay, maybe I do."

"C'mere, kitten."

Buffy hurried over to him, hopping onto the bed, and snuggling in his arms. She knew this man should be her mortal enemy, but right now she felt too good care. He'd treated her better after sex than any other man had, and that bought him some respect in Buffy's eyes.

Spike was silent for a while, enjoying the feel of Buffy in his arms. He'd never thought that he could feel anything like this for the Slayer, but he knew now she was working her way into his heart. His fantasies of wooing back Drusilla had come to an abrupt standstill, replaced by nothing but fantasies of Buffy. She was unlike any woman he'd ever met, and as much as that scared him, he was unable to pull away. "What is this to you?" he asked after a few minutes.

"What's what?"

"Us."

Buffy's answer was so quiet that Spike was sure he wouldn't have been able to hear it were it not for vampire hearing. "I don't know."

"I like being with you, Buffy," Spike admitted. "You make me feel, well, really good. And I don't just mean physically. When you smile at me it…it makes me want to write poetry."

Buffy lifted her head slightly. "You write poetry?"

"Used to. When I was human."

"Was it any good?"

"Wonderful." Spike laughed at Buffy's incredulous expression. "Okay, that's a lie. It was awful."

Buffy laughed, too. "Couldn't have been that bad…"

Spike rolled his eyes, reciting in a monotone, "My heart expands, 'tis grown a bulge in it, inspired by your beauty, effulgent."

"It was all right until effulgent…" Buffy said with a smirk. "Okay, maybe the 'bulge in it' was a little lame, too."

"You wound me, Slayer," Spike said, although his smile said otherwise.

"Still," Buffy said, running her fingers up and down his chest, "Better than anything I could write."

"You don't need to write anything," Spike said. "The way you move when you fight—it's bloody poetry in motion. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?"

Buffy looked at him. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Dunno. Maybe you fucked the meanness right out of me." He wagged his eyebrows.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "There he is."

"There who is?"

"Pig Spike. I was about to go out and check for pods."

Spike chuckled. "No need for that. This is the real me."

Buffy regarded him for a moment. "Is it?"

Her intense gaze made Spike shift uncomfortably. "Yeah."

Buffy closed her eyes, settling down on his chest. "I'm tired."

"Get some sleep then, kitten," Spike said softly, holding her close.

"Good night, Spike."

"Good night, Buffy."

Spike watched her as she slept, a warmth seeming to spread through his whole body. Suddenly, something Drusilla had said before, when she'd left him for the chaos demon, came back to him.

"You're all covered with her. I look at you…all I see is the Slayer."

Spike knew then, knew what Drusilla had meant. In all her craziness, she was at times amazingly perceptive. "I'm in love with the Slayer," Spike said, the words sounding strange even to his own ears, but undoubtedly true at the same time. "Well isn't this a bloody joke."

He looked at the sleeping woman in his arms, and he felt his throat tighten. He wanted to hold her forever. But it would be sunrise soon, and he was sure Buffy wouldn't want him stuck in her dorm all day. She'd been warm to him tonight, but Spike knew his Slayer well enough to know that could change in an instant. He slipped out of bed, his long-dead heart breaking a little when she whimpered in her sleep and reached for the spot he'd vacated. Spike dressed quickly, not trusting himself to be able to go if he didn't do it now. He allowed himself one last glance at her before leaving the room.

*** *** ***

*** *** ***

Buffy woke alone. It was the same way she always woke up, but this morning it felt wrong. Then she remembered why. Spike. The previous night had been incredible, with Buffy feeling like she'd seen him through new eyes. She'd thought that maybe she'd finally found a man who would stay with her through the night, but Spike had proven himself to be just like all the others. He hadn't even left a note.

Buffy sat up in the bed, pulling her knees to her chest as she cried. She hated herself, for thinking even for a second that she could feel anything for Spike, for forgetting he didn't have a soul. She wasn't sure what he'd gotten out of being so nice to her that night, but she was sure it gave him some sick sense of satisfaction. "He's probably off somewhere laughing at the stupid, gullible Slayer," Buffy said aloud the tears coming down harder.

The door opened, and Buffy looked up sharply. Willow walked in, the smile she'd been wearing falling away as she saw her friend's face. She shut the door and ran over to the bed. "Buffy! What happened? Did Riley turn out to be a jerk, cause…"

"Not Riley. Spike." Buffy let out a choked sob.

"Spike? Didn't we kinda already know he was a jerk?"

Buffy started to cry harder. Willow reached out, awkwardly stroking her hair. "I forgot, Will," Buffy said, sniffling. "Last night, Riley got called away, and…and Spike was at the Bronze. I invited him back to the dorm. I don't know why, I just wanted him. And we…we made love. And it was so beautiful. It wasn't like any of the other times. And afterwards he held me, and he recited poetry—his poetry."

"Spike writes poetry?"

"He used to. At least he said he did. He was probably lying, just trying to mess with me, like he was all night."

"What do you mean? Did he say something?"

"No! He didn't say anything! I…I woke up this morning, and he was just gone."

"Maybe he wanted to avoid the sun," Willow said. "Or…or he was afraid you'd get mad you opened up a little, and stake him."

"No. He didn't even leave a note. He left just like Parker, and just…just like Angel. He doesn't have a soul, Willow!" Buffy's sobs began anew.

"Want me to stake him?"

"No," Buffy said. She pulled away from Willow, wiping at her eyes. "As much as this hurt, it was good that it happened. Opened my eyes, reminded me who I'm dealing with. This isn't some sweet, potential boyfriend type guy. This is Spike. Nasty, evil Spike. I won't forget that again."

"If you need help remembering, I can write it on the back of your eyelids," Willow said with a tentative smile. "Or maybe make you a t-shirt."

Buffy chuckled. "Thanks for the offer, but I think the blindingly-painful memory of this morning should be enough, thank you."

"Okay, but if you change your mind on anything—staking or t-shirt—just let me know." Willow winked. "I got your back."

"Thanks, Will. You're the best friend ever."

"I really am, aren't I?"

Buffy laughed. "How about we go see if we can find some sort of ice cream that involves massive amounts of chocolate? I think I could use it right now."

Willow gave Buffy a quick hug. "Sounds good to me."

*** *** ***

It wasn't until Buffy staked the vampire she was fighting that she realized she was being watched. She put her hands on her hips, calling, "Spike, I know you're here. You might as well just come out."

Spike stepped from behind a mausoleum. His hands were in his duster pockets, and Buffy could swear he looked almost…nervous. "Hi, Buffy."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. Since when did he greet her like that? He had an almost boyish charm to him, and she had the urge to ruffle his hair, free his curls from the gel he'd used. Then she remembered she was mad at him. She glared, crossing her arms in front of her. "You know, I really didn't think I'd see you again."

Spike blinked, looking at her with confusion. "Where would I go?"

"Care to tell me why I woke up completely alone this morning?"

Spike was surprised. "You…you think I ran out on you this morning?"

"What else you would you call it?" Buffy snapped. "We fell asleep together, but when I woke up, you were gone. Looks like you fell right in with the Buffy pattern."

Spike's jaw ticked. "If you think so little of me to believe I'd do what those other wankers did, then that's exactly what I did. Just took what I wanted from you and left. Used you for my own sick and twisted means. Happy now?"

"Don't."

"Don't what? Tell you what you want to hear? Let you feel all vindicated and self-righteous like you love to do?"

"No. Try to make me think for a second that you're anything but a monster."

Spike narrowed his eyes at her. "Fine. I'll do that, and you can stop pretending you're anything but a self-absorbed bitch."

"Oh please, Spike. You're the evil one here—not me."

Spike was in front of her before she could blink. Temporarily forgetting he couldn't hurt her, Buffy felt a flash of fear. He grabbed her arm, shoving something roughly into her palm. "Happy birthday, Slayer," he said with a sneer before turning around and walking off.

Buffy opened her hand, her eyes widening in surprise. It was a locket. She flipped it over, her fingers brushing against where her first and middle names were engraved. Her head was reeling, trying to figure out how he'd even known it was her birthday. "Spike!" she called, but he didn't respond. She closed her eyes, fighting the urge to cry. "Why is he doing this to me?" she asked softly.

She decided to go back to her dorm. There was nothing she wanted more right then than to just curl up in her bed and go to sleep.

*** *** ***

"You say this thing breathes fire?"

"Uh huh. Almost scorched me."

Buffy arched an eyebrow. "We have to make this fast. I am so not in a slaying mood right now."

Buffy opened the door to the darkened rec room. Suddenly, the lights snapped on followed by a loud "Surprise!" Buffy surveyed the room, her eyes stopping on a "Happy 19^th Birthday" banner.

She turned to Willow. "You know I'm going to kill you later, don't you?" she whispered through a smile.

"Xander made me. I tried to make him cancel after last night, but he wouldn't let me unless I explained why."

"Got it. Must kill Xander."

Willow gave her a sheepish look. "Or you could just party. Riley's here…"

Buffy's eyes grew wide as she saw Riley approaching then. Buffy put on her best smile. Maybe this party could be a good thing after all. It could make her stop thinking about Spike.

*** *** ***

Buffy sat alone in a corner, holding the locket Spike had given her. Riley was talking with some of his fellow commandos, and it gave her a good chance to sneak off, hoping no one would seek her out.

"It's your party, you know," Willow said, sitting next to Buffy.

"Yes, it is my party." Buffy gave Willow a half smile. "And I'll cry if I want to."

"Let me guess—certain bleach blond vamp got ya down?"

"Uh huh. Ran into him on patrol. He gave me a birthday gift."

"He did?!" Willow frowned. "It wasn't something naughty, was it?"

"No. Although I sort of wish it had been. That I think I could deal with. Could've just punched him in the nose and called him a pig." She handed the locket over to Willow. "He gave me this."

Willow gaped. "This is beautiful. And it looks really old…like antique old."

Buffy shrugged. "Not hard for a vampire I guess. For all I know, he pulled it off a victim a hundred years ago."

"Someone named Anne."

"Excuse me?"

"The inscription. The 'Anne' is in a different script than the 'Buffy.' And it looks a lot more worn."

"Let me see that," Buffy said, taking the locket back. She inspected it for herself, seeing that Willow was right. "So I guess it did belong to someone else…"

"Buffy, I know this is Spike and all, but I don't think this is some sort of trophy from a kill he kept for a long time. This is probably worth a lot of money, and you know how Spike is about money. Besides, he would've had to have kept it through all the wandering he's done over the years. That kinda leads me to think it was something important to him."

As much as Buffy didn't want it to, what Willow was saying made sense. "So then who was Anne? And if this locket was important to him, why did he give it to me?"

"Maybe he loves you."

"Loves me? Willow, this is Spike. You know, the evil, soulless vampire. He can't love anyone—especially me."

"He loved Drusilla."

"He was obsessed with Drusilla. It couldn't have been real love." Buffy let out a shaky breath. "Willow, when Angel became Angelus…"

"Buffy, Spike isn't Angel. Or Angelus."

Buffy looked startled. "Why are you defending him?"

"I'm not! And I'm not saying that if he is in love with you, you should love him back, because that would probably turn out really badly. But what I am saying is that maybe you should be a little nicer to him about all this. You have been sort of jerking the guy around, whether you've meant to or not."

"Be nicer to him? How can you say that? He's tried to kill me—tried to kill you, too."

"I understand that. What I don't understand is why you say that, but then keep, you know, doing things with him. No matter what you say, you know that Mauruk bite wore off a long time ago."

Buffy felt hot tears sting her eyes. "I don't know. I just…feel drawn to him. When he touches me, I can't control how much I want him. Oh god, Will, that first night was amazing. I wanted him so bad…"

"But that was because of the bite…"

"The first time," Buffy said, almost mumbling.

"First time?"

"We sorta, um, did it twice."

"Twice?"

Buffy blushed. "Uh huh. And now I want him constantly. That can't be natural…"

"Sure it is. It's like that at the beginning of a relationship, when it's all new. Oz and I…wow."

"But this isn't a relationship."

"Does Spike know that?"

"Huh?"

"Buffy, guys don't give lockets like that to their mortal enemies. They give them to their girlfriends."

"Oh god—you're right. Willow, what am I going to do?"

"You're going to have to be strong, Buffy. I know it's Spike, and he's all evil, but he still doesn't deserve to be jerked around."

"I know. I'll talk to him."

"Good." Willow patted Buffy's leg. "Now go enjoy your party."

"I'll try. But I'm not in much of a partying mood."

"Look on the bright side—it's your birthday, so I'm sure something catastrophic will happen any moment now and take your mind off everything."

"Gee, that makes me feel sooo much better. Thanks."

"Come on," Willow said, wrapping her arm around Buffy as they stood. "Let's go get some cake."

"Cake is good," Buffy agreed as she walked off with Willow.

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