Chapter 16:

Buffy was surprised at how quickly her life had turned around. It was hard to believe only a few months ago she'd been alone and broken. But since she'd gotten with Spike, everything had seemed to change. She was no longer lonely, and every day no longer felt like a struggle. Anya was getting her store off the ground, which meant Buffy no longer had to suffer through working for Snyder. Her life was as perfect as if had been in a very long time.

Which was exactly why she didn't want to do anything to upset the status quo. One wrong move, and she was sure she'd go back to being as miserable as she had been before.

She sat on the couch, staring at the tickets in her hands, a sense of dread washing over her. She looked over at Spike, her eyes wide. "Can't we just stay here? It's really nice at Christmas time, you know. They have a big tree."

"Pet, you haven't been back home since you came here. And it's Christmas. Anya's giving you time off and everything," Spike said.

"It's a pretty tree. Lights and everything."

"I've seen it on the telly."

Buffy sighed. "I left there for a reason, you know. My mother—not really on the top of my list of people I want to see."

"I know." Spike reached out and placed his hand on top of hers. "It's not just your mum that's there. Dawn really misses you."

Buffy blinked. "She does? I figured she'd be thrilled getting to live like an only child."

"Only on the outside," Spike replied with a wink. "She does miss you. And my da worries about you all the way out here."

"Really?"

"Yeah. There are people back in Sunnydale that love you, Buffy. Your mum included, even with the rocky past you two have."

Buffy sighed. "I know. It's just…it'll be difficult. And I don't know if I can be around you and not act like I'm with you."

Spike pulled his hand away. "So we're still a secret then."

"Spike…honey, don't look like that. It's not because I'm ashamed of us or anything. It's just…well, I know my mom's going to make a big deal out of it, and I really don't want there to be anymore stress than there already will be."

"They're going to have to know sooner or later, and this could be the perfect time to tell them," Spike replied. "We'll be there, so they can see us together—get more used to the idea."

"She'll flip, Spike. And then the whole trip will be really, really awkward."

"We're not leaving for another week. We could call them ahead of time, let them…"

"No."

"You know, Buffy, we're going to be there for five days. Do you really think we can go that long without as much as a kiss?"

Buffy bit her bottom lip. Since that first night, they'd rarely gone even as many as two days without having sex. She knew five days would drive her to the point of either tearing all his clothes off or spontaneously combusting. "We'll just have to be secretive about it."

"So what, I sneak into your bedroom and ravish you when your mum's asleep?"

"Could be fun…"

Spike sighed. "But I don't want that with you, pet. And I'm not even sure I could keep that up. It's so natural for me to just take your hand, or brush your hair out of your eyes. It's little things like that that are going to give us away."

"Then you'll just have to be really careful about what you do around our parents," Buffy said. She frowned. "And calling them 'our parents' sounds really creepy."

"Little bit, yeah," Spike replied with a similar expression on his face.

"You dad and my mom," she amended.

"Better," Spike agreed. "You know, they might be happy for us. Your mum does like me."

"She thinks of you as a son," Buffy replied. "Just trust me when I say she'd wig."

"So when do you plan on telling them then? When their first grandchild is born?"

Buffy's eyes bugged. "When what? Since when are we having kids?"

Spike stood up. "I suppose never, since this apparently isn't all that important to you."

"What!?" Buffy exclaimed. "How can you say that? You know I love you, Spike."

"Then why can't you tell your mum? She'll get used to the idea soon enough."

"Spike, please. You know how things were when I left home. This trip back is going to be hard enough without any added stress."

"Oh, so now I'm added stress?" Spike asked angrily.

"No! You're not that at all! I just meant…"

"Yeah, I think I know what you meant," Spike said, turning around and walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Buffy called after him.

"Don't know. Just…someplace else," Spike replied.

Buffy got up from the couch, running and pushing herself against the door to block it. "Spike, please."

"Get out of my way, Buffy."

"Spike, I'm sorry. I just can't do this with my mother right now. Just try to understand, please. Please…"

Her eyes were filling with tears, and Spike felt his anger quickly being replaced with a need to comfort her. He pulled her into his arms, her head going against his chest. "Don't cry, kitten. I'll stay."

"Don't think this means I don't love you, because I do," Buffy said, wrapping her arms tightly around him. And you're not more stress. If anything, you've taken so much of my stress away. It's just my mother. Seeing her again is going to be really difficult, and I need to minimize the complications."

Spike closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again and responding. "I know. And if that's what you need, I'll give it to you."

Buffy looked up at him, her eyes damp. "You will?"

Spike wiped a tear away from her cheek with his thumb. He never could tell a crying woman no… "'Course. And it's only for a few days. We'll be back here to our normal life together soon."

Buffy gave him a small smile. "Yeah." Her smile changed as she pulled back slightly, placing her hands against his chest. "And think about just how much I'll owe you."

Spike grinned, his tongue curling over his teeth. "Owe me, huh?"

"Oh yeah. This constitutes a big, big favor."

Spike reached down to cup her ass, pulling her forward so she was flush against him. "I'm going to hold you to that," he said, his voice low and making her shiver.

"Think maybe I could work off a little of that now?" Buffy asked, rubbing herself slowly against him.

Without a word, Spike reached for the waistband of the sweatpants she was wearing, pulling both them and her panties off before hoisting her up against the wall. Her legs went around his hips, her mouth meeting his in a savage kiss as he unzipped his jeans, pulling his cock out into play. Buffy cried out, clinging to him tightly as he slid inside of her, wasting no time in finding his rhythm.

It amazed her how quickly she could reach the point of desperation with him—and how often it happened. All he had to do was give her a look, and she was his. The fact that he was pounding into her against the front door and anyone who walked down the hall would probably know exactly what was going on in there didn't seem to matter in the least. She wanted him, needed him.

Oh yeah, five days of restraint was going to be difficult.

"Buffy…" Spike moaned by her ear. Buffy trembled at the sound, her hands clutching his shoulders tighter. "So bloody hot, kitten. Every time…"

His voice was always enough to make her weak in the knees, but the way it sounded when he was inside her, so rough with desire… She moaned, pulling him as close as she could. "Talk to me, baby. Tell me how it feels."

"So bloody good," Spike groaned in response. "So tight…so hot. Perfect… Could fuck you forever… Buffy…Buffy… My angel…my everything… Love you…love you so much."

Buffy cried out in orgasm, her body shaking heavily as Spiked continued to drive into her until he found his own release, calling out her name as he did.

Spike could feel Buffy's hold on him slipping, and he knew the strength he had in his own legs was waning as well. He let her slip long enough to refasten his jeans before picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom, sitting her down on the edge of the bed. Buffy pulled off her shirt and bra as Spike undressed. He then climbed into the bed with her, pulling her into his arms and bringing the covers up around them.

*** *** ***

"Are you excited about going home for the first time in two years?" Willow asked as she and Buffy ate lunch together the next day.

"Right now, I'm thinking more about that last final I have to take in an hour," Buffy replied, poking at her salad with her fork.

Willow waved her hand dismissively. "You'll ace that. You've been doing great in that class all semester."

"Yes, but it's sixty percent of my grade, so if I bomb it, it won't really matter how I did the rest of the semester."

"You'll do fine." Willow paused for a moment before asking, "Your parents don't know about you and Spike, do they?"

"No," Buffy replied, shaking her head. "Spike thinks we should tell them while we're there, but then it'll just be this big thing, and it'll make the whole trip even tenser than it's already going to be."

"What makes you think it's going to be tense?" Willow asked.

"Because my mother will be there," Buffy answered. "That woman and me in the same room—automatic tension."

Willow frowned. She knew Buffy and her mother had had a falling out, but she'd never learned the details. "It's been two years, Buffy," she said. "Maybe she's gotten over whatever you two were fighting about."

"That's not the problem, Wills. I haven't gotten over it. What happened…what she did…it's not something I think I can ever forgive her for."

"Do you want to go at all?" Willow asked.

"Yes and no," Buffy replied with a sigh. "Spike told me Dawn misses me, and I miss her, too. And I would like to see Giles. But I left for a reason, and the thought of going back makes me really nervous. I don't want to have to dredge up the past."

"It'll only be for a few days," Willow said. "And then you'll be back here and won't have to worry about any of that crazy home stuff."

"I hope you're right, 'cause I'm not sure how much of my mother I can take without snapping. And trying to hide how close Spike and I are is going to be really difficult."

"Especially since the two of you seem to have magnets in your lips," Willow teased with a smile.

"We're not that bad." Buffy paused. "Are we?"

Willow chuckled. "Nah. You're just obviously very much in love—with a healthy dose of lustiness thrown in."

"Good, because if you think we're bad in public, you should see us where we're alone." Buffy frowned. "Or not, 'cause voyeur Willow—kinda creepy."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Trust me, I can go on just fine without knowing what the two of you do behind closed doors. I'm scarred enough from Anya's in-depth descriptions of what she does with Xander."

"I'm still trying to block out the story about the sex swing," Buffy muttered.

"No luck for you either, huh?"

"Nope."

"At least we can suffer together," Willow said with a smile.

"Guess that's something." Buffy ate the last couple bites of her salad before standing up. "Hey, I'm going to head on over to my exam. I want to get there early so I can go over a few things in my notes one last time."

"Okay. I was about to do that myself," Willow replied. She gave Buffy a wink. "Break a pencil."

Buffy laughed. "You, too."

*** *** ***

"Smells good in here," Buffy said as she walked into the apartment. She smiled at Spike as he looked up from the stove. "Hey, baby."

"Hey. How'd your last two exams go?"

"I think they went well," Buffy replied. "I didn't leave any huge sections blank. And there's the glorious knowledge that I will never have to sit in Professor Walsh's class ever again." She put her books down on the table and walked up to Spike, kissing his cheek. "You're such a sweetie. Making dinner."

"Also went by the video store and picked up a copy of The Cutting Edge. Figured you could use a quiet night in."

"Ooh. I love that movie."

"I know. You and your ice skating obsession… Why do you think I got it?"

Buffy wrapped her arms around his waist. "You do know you're the best boyfriend ever, don't you?"

"I've had my suspicions."

Buffy gave him a quick kiss before pulling away. "Do I have time for a shower before dinner?"

"Sure, pet. Go wash away the last of that finals stress," Spike replied.

"Okay. I'll be out in a few." Buffy smiled as she walked towards the bathroom. This was perfect, just the way she wanted her life to stay. But any change could disrupt everything, and she couldn't take that. She needed this too much.

She let out a deep breath, hoping that they could make it through whatever they had to face back in California.

*** *** ***
 

Chapter 17:

"Did I ever tell you I'm terrified of flying?" At Spike's raised eyebrow, Buffy continued. "Really. Horribly afraid. It makes me…hyperventilate. And…and there's hives. All over my body. It's just a mess."

"Buffy, they're calling our row. Get your arse on the plane."

Buffy glared at Spike. "You're a meanie."

"Plane. Now."

Buffy sighed as she stood up, picking up her carry-on bag. "You're evil."

Spike grinned. "I'm just a bad, rude man. Now get on the bloody plane."

As they approached the door, Buffy wished they were on their way home instead of leaving. "We can still do Christmas here. Big tree…"

"Buffy, if you don't get on that plane of your own free will, I will throw you over my shoulder and carry you on."

With a resigned sigh, Buffy walked to the attendant and handed over her ticket.

*** *** ***

Buffy was bored. They'd had a stop in Atlanta, and now they were flying into LAX before continuing on to Sunnydale. She felt like they'd been in the air forever, and to make it worse, the in-flight movie really sucked. She doubted it would've been any better if she'd paid the five dollars for the headset so she could actually hear the stupid thing.

Spike was resting in the seat beside her, his eyes closed. The closer they got to Sunnydale, the tenser she felt, and she needed something to release that tension. She blushed as a rather naughty idea popped into her head, but once it was here, she couldn't make it go away.

She glanced around the plane, noting that most of the passengers were either asleep or engrossed in the horrible movie, and the few that weren't had their noses stuck in a book or newspaper. She took a deep breath, telling herself she could do this, and shook Spike lightly.

His eyes opened. "Something wrong, pet?"

His voice was low, almost husky, and Buffy liked the sound of her plan even more. She leaned in, whispering in his ear, "Go to the bathroom in the back of the plane. I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

Spike looked at her in confusion for a moment before realization set in and his eyes widened. "You serious, kitten?"

Buffy nodded. "You up for it?"

"When am I not?" he asked with a leer. He kissed her quickly before unbuckling his seatbelt and jumping up. "See you in a few."

Buffy waited nervously in her seat as the minutes ticked by. No one was looking at her, but she was sure they knew what she was thinking. Could she actually go through with this?

She thought about Spike, waiting for her in the one place where they could be alone right now and knew she could.

Buffy got up and walked confidently towards the back of the plane, certain any nervousness would give her away. She looked around, making sure no one was paying attention before knocking softly on the door.

Spike opened up and pulled her in, his mouth on hers as soon as the door was shut and locked behind them. His hands were fumbling with her zipper as she kicked off her shoes. Once he had her pants open, he pulled them down, pushing her against the sink and dropping to his knees in front of her.

At the first feel of his mouth between her legs, Buffy bit her lip to keep from crying out. Spike was good at what he was doing, and it took all the willpower she had to keep quiet.

Spike looked up to see the tortured look on her face and smiled against her. He loved driving her crazy… He took her clit in his teeth, pulling it gently, and her eyes shot open as she whimpered. Knowing if he kept it up Buffy was going to give them away, he stood, turning her around so she was facing the mirror.

Buffy grabbed hold of the side of the sink as Spike unbuttoned his jeans and pushed inside her from behind, his hand going over her mouth to muffle the sounds she couldn't help but make. Her eyes went to the erotic image they cast in the mirror. Something about the sight and feel of his hand on her mouth was making her hotter than hell.

Spike knew he wouldn't last long. He'd never had sex on an airplane before, and the novelty of the situation had gotten him revved up very quickly. He reached around Buffy's waist, his hand trailing down to find her clit, stroking it until he felt her pussy clamp down hard around his cock, her cry of completion muffled by his hand. He came inside her with a grunt, fighting the urge to call her name loud enough for the whole plane to hear.

Buffy slumped forward on the sink as Spike pulled out of her. "God, that was freaking hot," she said.

"Fuck yeah," Spike replied between pants. "Glad you thought of it."

"Me, too."

Spike re-buttoned his jeans. "You want me to go back first? Give you a chance to clean up and get your clothes back on?"

"Yeah," Buffy replied. She turned around, giving Spike a long kiss. "You're so good, baby," she purred. "You make me come so damn hard every time."

Spike grinned. He loved it when she was like this, all laid back and sexually satisfied. "That's 'cause I love making you come, pet," he said, placing his hands on her still-bare hips. "Love makin' you feel that good."

"Mmm…" Buffy gave him one more kiss before moving away as much as the small space they were in would let her. "You better go before we start all over again."

Spike nodded. "See you back at the seats."

After Spike left, Buffy freshened up and put her pants and shoes back on. When she left the bathroom and went back down the aisle, she caught a couple of people glance her way, and knew they probably did know what she'd been up to with Spike, but she didn't care anymore. She just smiled like a woman who'd just gotten it good and went back to sit down by her gorgeous boyfriend.

*** *** ***

When Buffy and Spike walked from the terminal, they found Dawn and Giles waiting for them. Dawn ran to the pair, wrapping an arm around each of them and squeezing. "Couldn't decide which of you to hug first," she said. "It's so good to see you guys."

Spike ruffled her hair. "Good to see you, too, niblet."

Giles approached the three of them, holding his hand out to his son. "William."

Spike shook his father's hand. "Rupert."

"When will you stop calling me that and start calling me father?"

"Probably whenever you start calling me Spike, like I've asked you to a million times."

"Off the plane for five bloody minutes…" Giles stopped, turning away from Spike. Buffy noticed a twitch in Giles's jaw, and couldn't help but smile as she realized it was the same twitch that Spike got whenever he was angry. It disappeared, however, as Giles looked at her, smiling. "Buffy. It's so good to see you again," he said, embracing her.

Buffy hugged him back. "You, too."

Dawn was practically bouncing, her excitement over having her whole family together for Christmas too much to be contained. "Some guy was talking about people having sex in the bathroom of a plane," she blurted out. "Was that your flight?"

Giles didn't miss how red Buffy turned at Dawn's question. He frowned, but shook off his immediate suspicions.

"Must've been another plane, bit," Spike replied quickly, trying to cover what Buffy's obvious embarrassment wasn't. "There wasn't any action on ours at all."

"I can't believe someone would do that on an airplane full of people anyway," Dawn said. "I mean, can't they just keep their pants on until the plane lands?"

Buffy's face grew redder, and Giles cleared his throat. "Why don't we go get your luggage?" he suggested.

"Yes, luggage," Buffy replied, happy for the subject change. "We should get luggage."

As they started to walk off, Giles noticed Spike rest his hand on the small of Buffy's back for a moment before dropping it quickly, as if remembering where he was. Couple that with Buffy's reaction to bringing up what she'd overheard… No, Giles decided, he wasn't going to jump to any conclusions. Neither his son nor Buffy had said anything to indicate that they were involved romantically, and he had no right to assume—even if it would explain why William had continued to live in Buffy's apartment despite how adamantly she had been against it in the beginning.

He glanced over at them, noticing that Dawn was walking between them now, talking animatedly about something. While the two girls were not his by blood, he considered all three of them his children, and the thought that two of them may be sleeping together was bothersome. He resolved to put those thoughts right out of his mind.

It was a resolution that lasted as long as it took for Spike to discover his luggage had somehow ended up in San Diego. They had been promised that it would be delivered to them by the morning, but Spike had not been happy. It had become the subject of an argument between Buffy and Spike on the way to the car, which Giles overheard.

"I told you I didn't want to check the bloody thing in the first place."

"And I told you when we were packing that I was not trying to go through security with a bag full of safety pins and those boots of yours. We'd probably end up spending the whole day getting interrogated."

"And I told you that I made it through sodding customs with those clothes in that bag—shoes, safety pins, and all."

"I don't know why you're being such an ass about this. They're just in San Diego. You'll get them back. I've got your toothbrush in my carry-on bag, and you tend to either sleep naked or pass out in your jeans anyway. Not like you'll need anything that's in the bag until tomorrow."

"I'm not checking it on the way home."

Giles tuned out the rest of the conversation. Any chance he'd had at denying what was going on between those two was gone now. They didn't bicker like roommates, or even siblings. They bickered like a couple. Not to mention the fact that Buffy had packed Spike's toothbrush and knew he slept in the nude…

They didn't seem to be in any rush to divulge the truth about their relationship, and Giles decided he was fine with keeping it that way. He thought of them as his children, but they were both adults, and neither shared blood nor had been raised as siblings. What they did behind closed doors was neither his business nor something he wanted to think about.

Still, Giles knew he was going to need a strong drink when he got home, and probably several more before the holiday was over.

*** *** ***

Buffy was surprised to find herself actually a little excited to be home when she walked through the front door. She allowed herself a moment to savor it, closing her eyes, breathing in deeply, and remembering a time when her life had been simpler.

Then she heard her mother's voice and it was ruined.

Joyce had gone to Spike first, hugging him and apologizing for not being able to meet them at the airport. She then turned to her daughter, but didn't move to embrace her, simply stating, "Buffy. Your hair is brown."

"It has been for two years," Buffy replied.

"Well, I had no way of knowing that since I haven't seen as much as a picture of you in that long," Joyce said, her tone cold.

Buffy had told herself when she'd been on her way here that she didn't care what her mother thought of her. She'd been convinced that she could make it so Joyce's words and actions wouldn't affect her one way or another. But now that she was actually standing in front of her, that resolution was gone. She hadn't missed how chilly her mother's attitude was or that she'd hugged Spike and not her, and it hurt.

Spike cleared his throat, noticing the tension between mother and daughter. "So where are we sleeping? I'm sure Buffy would like to put her things down."

"Where is your luggage, Spike?" Joyce asked with concern. "Certainly you brought some…"

"It took the scenic route through San Diego," Spike replied. "It'll be here soon."

"I thought perhaps we could put you both in Buffy's old room," Giles said, answering Spike's earlier question. He looked his son in the eye. "With you on an air mattress, of course."

"Rupert, I thought we'd agreed the girls would share the guest room and Spike would stay in Dawn's room," Joyce said.

"There's no reason to run Dawn out of her bedroom for a week," Giles replied. "Buffy and William have been living in close quarters with each other for a while now. I'm sure they'll be fine."

"That works, really. Let Dawnie keep her room," Spike said. "Come on, lu…Buffy." Spike started up the stairs with Buffy following closely behind.

"LuBuffy?" she teased softly once they were on the second floor. "Is that my name now?"

"Shut up, you. I never actually say that silly name of yours. Going to be damn hard to keep down the pet names."

"Silly? My name is not…" Buffy stopped as Spike opened the door to what had once been her room. The furniture was the same, but much of it had been rearranged and all of her things were gone. "They repainted," she said softly, the fact that her mother had referred to it as the "guest room" coming to her mind.

Spike saw the tears forming in Buffy's eyes and he shut the door, guiding her over to sit with him on the edge of the bed. "Hey. What's wrong?"

"I didn't expect her to be so cold," Buffy said. "Or more like I did, but I didn't think it would hurt so much. She doesn't want me here, Spike. My own mother doesn't love me anymore." She fell over on him, tears coming in earnest now.

Spike wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "Shh. She loves you, pet. Things are just strained between the two of you and she doesn't know how to act."

"It feels more like she doesn't love me," Buffy sniffed.

"She does. Trust me. And this visit could be just what the two of you need, yeah?"

Buffy pulled away from him, wiping her eyes. "I don't think so. I think it's just gonna suck."

"Least we won't be sleeping without each other," Spike said, cupping her face. "It'll be pretty easy for me to sneak to your bed every night from an air mattress on the floor in the same room."

"Very true," Buffy replied. "I can't believe Giles suggested that."

"He knows about us," Spike told her.

Buffy paled. "Huh? Did you tell him—or did he tell you he knew?"

"We haven't talked about it," Spike replied.

"Then how can you be sure?" Buffy asked.

"Because I know my father. He figured it out at the airport."

"How?"

"Well, the fact that you turned into a tomato when Dawn mentioned the people having sex on a plane was probably sort of a tip off," Spike said.

"Oh my god! Giles knows we had sex on the plane!?"

Spike chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose. "It's all right, luv. He's probably as willing to forget he knows as we are to forget he knows. Besides, that's not all that gave it away. We're a pretty obvious couple, and the Giles men aren't idiots."

"But we weren't acting like we normally do," Buffy said.

"Well, usually there is a lot of groping which tends to make it noticeable, but even without that, it's how we interact with each other. Think about it—when you see two people you don't know, can't you often times tell if they're together even if they're not touching?"

Buffy sighed. "So Giles definitely knows. Great."

"I think it's all right. He did put us in here together after all, so he must not be too bothered. Probably gets all fidgety when he thinks about it, but he isn't freaking."

Buffy smirked. "I bet he does get all fidgety. His glasses are probably really clean right now." She paused, looking worried again. "Do you think he'll tell my mom?"

"Probably not. We haven't told him directly, so he can respect our privacy while telling himself he's not keeping secrets from Joyce because he doesn't actually 'know.'"

"So that's how the male mind works, huh?"

"Pretty much."

"You do know she wouldn't take it as well as he apparently is, don't you?" Buffy asked.

Spike thought about Joyce's attitude towards her daughter ever since they'd gotten there. "Yeah, I know."

Buffy leaned in and kissed him gently. "Guess we should go back downstairs before Giles thinks we're having sex again, huh?"

"Probably." Spike raised her chin with his finger so he was looking into her eyes. "I love you, Buffy."

"You said my 'silly' name," Buffy said, the corner of her mouth twitching in a smile.

"I did."

"I love you, too," she said, kissing him. "Now let's go socialize with the parents…"

*** *** ***

 

Chapter 18:

It was the first time that Buffy had sat down for a meal at this particular table in two years, and she found she wasn't exactly enjoying the trip down memory lane. Every time Giles glanced her way she blushed, unable to ignore the fact that he most likely knew she—along with his son—was now a member of the "Mile High Club."

And the fact that her mother had not said a single word to her the entire meal didn't help things much at all.

Dawn was her saving grace. The teenager's excitement hadn't gone down at all, and she spent most of the meal chattering away animatedly, earning her several admonitions from Joyce about talking with her mouth full that hadn't actually done anything to slow Dawn down in the least.

When dinner was over, Buffy began gathering up the dirty dishes, more from force of habit than anything else. That had always been her job before, and it seemed like it should still be.

But apparently it wasn't, as Joyce quickly stood and took the plates Buffy was holding from her stating, "I'll get them. I'm the one who lives here."

Buffy felt tears threaten to form in her eyes, but she pushed them down, not wanting her mother to see them. "I was just trying to help."

"Coming from you, Buffy, that would be a first," Joyce replied. "You've never thought of anyone but yourself."

The tears weren't going to stop this time, and Buffy turned and walked from the room, knowing her mother would probably label her a drama queen for the action, but deciding that was preferable to breaking down in the dining room.

Spike sucked in a breath and counted to ten, having heard somewhere that calmed anger. Instead, he found himself having had ten seconds to grow even angrier at the woman who'd made his Buffy cry. He stood up, pushing his chair in hard enough that the remaining dishes rattled on the table. "Girl's been through hell, Joyce. Might want to try a little motherly compassion."

Joyce was visibly startled by Spike's response. "Buffy chose to leave here," she replied after a moment. "She's the one who turned her back on her family."

"Can't imagine why, this bein' such a nurturing environment and all." Spike didn't wait for Joyce's reply as he stormed upstairs, finding Buffy sitting on the bed, her face buried in her hands.

Spike couldn't stand to see her cry. Just knowing she was hurting made his heart break, too. He regretted insisting they come to Sunnydale for the holiday. He should've listened to her when she'd told him her mother would be like this. After living with Joyce before, he hadn't thought her capable of being so cruel, but it was obvious now that he'd been wrong.

He wanted to get Buffy out of there, even if it could only be for a little while. She needed some fresh air and some time out from under the same roof as her mother. Only one place they could go popped into his head, and he figured it was a little silly, but better than nothing. "Want to go get some ice cream?"

Buffy looked up, her face tearstained. "Okay."

Spike held his arms out to her. "C'mere, kitten."

Buffy didn't care that the door was open when she ran into his embrace, hugging him tightly. She just wanted him holding her. She cried a little against his shoulder, though feeling Spike's arms around her was already making her feel better. It wasn't long before she looked up at him, sniffling. "Can we bring Dawnie?"

"'Course. Not even sure the bit would stay if we told her to. Probably hide under the car."

Buffy chuckled at that image. "Come on. Let's get Dawn and get out of here."

Joyce was in the kitchen, loudly cleaning up from dinner, and Giles and Dawn were in the living room, looking slightly afraid. "Hey da—is she still in the garage?" Spike asked

"Yes. And I've been taking care of her for you, don't worry," Giles replied. "Keys are by the door."

"Where are you going?" Dawn asked.

"Get ice cream," Buffy replied. "Wanna come with?"

Dawn glanced at Giles who gave her a small nod of permission before she hopped up, running over to Buffy and Spike. Spike gave his father a wave goodbye before walking with the two Summers girls to the front door, grabbing his keys on the way out.

"So what's in the garage?" Buffy asked as they walked towards it.

"His baby," Dawn replied with a roll of her eyes. "I have never seen anyone more in love with a car."

"She's a bloody good car," Spike said. He pulled open the garage door, walking over to the black 1959 Chrysler DeSoto Sportsman and stroking its hood. "Rupert taking good care of you, baby?"

"See, he even talks to it," Dawn said.

Spike shot her a look. "Your point?"

"That you're insane," Dawn replied.

"What exactly is the point to having such a big car?" Buffy asked. "It's not like you have to compensate for anything."

Buffy didn't realize what she'd just admitted to having intimate knowledge of until Dawn screeched, "Oh my god! It was the two of you on that plane!"

Buffy immediately turned bright red. "What? No!"

"It so was! You're blushing now just like you were at the airport. And apparently you know the size of his…" Dawn trailed off, blushing herself.

Spike said nothing, leaning against the car and waiting to see how this was going to play out between the two sisters.

"You cannot tell Mom," Buffy said.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Well, duh. Mom would be such a spaz about the whole thing."

"So you're not going to freak about it?" Buffy asked.

"No. I mean, there's a bit of an ick factor since you're my sister and I think of him as my brother, but obviously you two don't have the sibling-type feelings for each other, so I can get past that," Dawn replied. "Besides, I love both you guys, and if you're happy together, then I think it's totally cool."

"We are happy together," Spike said. "I love your sister very much."

Dawn squealed. "This is so cool! And no wonder you went off on Mom after dinner, Spike."

Buffy turned towards him quickly. "You went off on my mom?"

Spike shrugged. "Just said a couple of things, is all."

"He totally stood up for you," Dawn said. "It was really cool."

Buffy walked over to Spike, kissing his cheek. "Thank you."

"Don't like people hurting my girl," Spike said, looking down.

"Okay, you guys are just too cute," Dawn said, grinning widely.

"So are we getting ice cream or standing around in the bloody garage all night?" Spike asked.

"Well, you think this car can make it out of the 'bloody garage,' then…" Buffy teased, attempting to mimic his accent.

"Oh, you are so gonna get it later, missy," Spike replied, shooting her a dirty look.

"Looking forward to it," Buffy replied with a wink.

"Okay, could you keep it down with the innuendos around me, please?" Dawn asked. "I'm totally okay with you two getting together, but the sex part—still kinda creepy."

Spike chuckled. "We'll try. Now into the car with both of you."

Buffy gave him a quick peck on the lips before walking around to the passenger's side of the DeSoto.

*** *** ***

"Wow. You know you're in Southern California when an ice cream place gets this much business two days before Christmas," Buffy said as they walked into the store.

"Yeah, well, you're living in the frozen North," Dawn said. "Probably have to wear parkas year round."

"Dawnie, I'm in New York, not Siberia," Buffy replied.

"Still cold." Dawn added with a grin, "Is it true sometimes it gets so cold that white stuff falls from the sky? Like in Christmas movies?"

"Ha ha, California girl," Buffy replied. "Go order."

After they'd gotten their ice cream and found a booth, Dawn watched as Buffy and Spike both gave each other tastes of theirs. In all honesty, she thought it was cute, but seeing as the little sister is was her sacred duty to be annoyed, she had to act as such. "Ew. Could you two like, not? I'm eating."

Buffy responded by giving her sister a dirty look and then pulling Spike into a long, slow kiss. Dawn rolled her eyes, trying to look put out but unable to keep a smile from creeping to her face. She hadn't seen Buffy this happy since before everything had started with Angel, and she was thrilled that her sister was doing so much better. Whatever Spike was doing to make the old Buffy come back, Dawn wanted him to keep doing it—even if it was things she so wasn't going to think about. "So how exactly did you two hook up?" Dawn asked, pulling Buffy away from her impromptu make-out session. "I know Giles and Mom's wedding was like forever ago, but you two didn't exactly get along then."

"We had lots of time to get to know each other," Buffy said. "Turns out he's not so bad after all."

Dawn grinned. "So give me details. What happened? Only, y'know keep it at least PG-13, 'cause delicate virgin ears and all."

Spike put his arm around Buffy's waist as she cuddled closer to him in the booth. "Well, I was sort of seeing someone else," Buffy began, "although I really liked Spike…"

"She was being damn stubborn about it, though," Spike interjected.

Buffy smacked his arm. "Hey, I'm telling the story."

"Well, you were," Spike muttered.

"Anyway, I'm on a double date with this guy, Riley, and we end up at the club where Spike's bad was performing that night. And oh god, he looked so hot on stage, but then he started singing to me and gah…"

"So that was what did it?" Dawn asked. "He sang to you and you were hooked?"

"Not quite yet," Buffy said. "That song made me all melty Buffy, but then later he sang a song he'd written for me."

"You wrote her a song!" Dawn exclaimed. "Spike, that's so sweet!" She frowned. "Unless it was raunchy. It wasn't raunchy, was it?"

"No," Spike said, looking a little offended. "It was not raunchy."

"It was a very sweet song," Buffy said with a smile.

"So then what happened?" Dawn asked, leaning forward on her elbows, good table manners going by the wayside for the promise of a romantic story.

"Riley was way not happy," Buffy continued. "He tried to drag me out of the club. But Spike jumped off the stage and made Riley leave me alone."

"Go Spike!" Dawn said. "So you guys got together then?"

"Yep," Buffy replied. "Although pretty much the whole rest of the night goes way over that PG-13 rating."

"In that case, I have plenty of details," Dawn replied. "And Spike, you totally have to let me hear that song."

"'Course, bit."

Dawn bounced in the booth. "Cool. I love hearing you sing."

"He does have a nice voice, doesn't he?" Buffy said, turning towards Spike to give him an adoring smile.

"It's all right," Spike said, looking down a bit, his normally cocky demeanor fading under the praise.

"Aww! He's bashful! That's so adorable!" Dawn exclaimed, earning her a dirty look from Spike.

"Gonna have both of you teasing me all week, aren't I?" Spike said.

"Yep," Buffy replied. "You'll have nowhere to run…nowhere to hide."

"I can think of worse fates."

Dawn watched as Buffy and Spike kissed again, although this time she decided to forgo the exaggerated gagging. She was too happy for them, too happy to know that they'd found something with each other. She turned her attention back to her ice cream, smiling as she ate.

*** *** ***

Buffy stared at the air mattress that Giles had set up on the floor of her old bedroom. "You think he's rigged it somehow? Like he's measured how much air is in it, and he'll be able to test it tomorrow and know if you slept on it or not?"

Spike gave her the look she'd dubbed his "are you daft?" look since that was often the phrase that accompanied it—although this time, the look stood alone. "I'm serious!" Buffy exclaimed with a pout.

"Kitten, if Rupert was really all that interested in me sleeping away from you, he would've put you and Dawn in here together and me alone in the other room. He knows as well as we do that this mattress is only going to be used to make where I'm really sleeping a little less obvious to your mum."

"Or it could be a trick to catch us in the act and make us admit that we're together," Buffy replied.

"No. He wouldn't do that. Not his style," Spike said. "He'd ask us to our faces, all official like. Not really one for subterfuge, my da."

"But…"

Spike sighed. "Just get in the bloody bed, Buffy. I'm tired, and I know you are, too."

"Fine, Mr. Grumpy Bear," Buffy muttered as she got into the bed and pulled the covers over her.

Spike stopped, his eyebrow arched. "What did you just call me?"

"Mr. Grumpy Bear," Buffy replied, giving him a look that dared him to challenge her.

"Last time I checked, I didn't have a soddin' rain cloud painted on my stomach." At his reply, Buffy broke out into a fit of giggles. "What's so bloody funny?"

"You know the Care Bears!"

"Well, yeah. I was a kid once, you know."

"You are so adorable." Buffy held her arms out to him. "Come here."

Spike got in on the other side of the bed, pulling her to him. "You're such a freak," he said lovingly, kissing the top of her head.

"But you love me anyway."

"Yeah, I do." Spike was silent for a while before he spoke again, asking her the question that was weighing on his mind. "Are you going to be okay this week? Do…do you need us to go back home?"

"I think I'll be okay," Buffy replied. "It's going to be hard, but…I like the time we've been spending with Dawn. I missed her. And I'll have you here."

"Yeah, you will. And if things get too bad, I'll have you out of here in a moment, Buffy. I promise. Won't make you have to be miserable."

"I love you, Spike."

"Love you, too," Spike replied, wrapping his arms tighter around her as their eyes closed.

 

Chapter 19:

Buffy woke with the unfamiliar sensation that comes from waking up in a bed other than the one you're used to. It took her a moment to realize where she was before she relaxed, leaning back into Spike's tight embrace. No matter how they fell asleep, she always woke like this, snuggled into his warm, strong arms. His front was to her back, and she could feel him poking into her rear, making her unable to keep from rubbing against him.

"Mmm, feeling frisky this morning, kitten?"

Spike's voice made Buffy jump a little, as she had been unaware that he was actually awake. "Spike, we can't. Not here…"

Spike trailed his lips down her neck. "They won't know. We'll be real quiet like."

"Quiet like we were on the plane?" Buffy countered, even as she arched into his touch.

"Quieter, I promise," Spike replied, his hand slipping beneath the waistband of both her pajama bottoms and her panties.

Buffy grabbed his arm, pulling his hand back up. "Not here. It's too weird with them in the house."

"I've done it before with them home and they've never noticed."

Buffy jumped out of the bed at that, snatching her robe from where she'd placed it over the back of a chair the night before and then cinching it tightly around her waist. "Well, why don't you go find one of those girls to take care of you this morning then," she snapped.

Spike sighed, rolling over on his back. "That was before we knew each other, Buffy."

"Was it here?"

Spike sat up. "Buffy…"

"No, tell me—did you sleep with other women here in this bed?"

"Things were different then," Spike insisted.

"I don't care! We slept in a bed last night where you…with other women," Buffy hissed, suppressing the urge to yell. "And this was my bed since I was a child."

"Bloody hell, that didn't mean anything to me at the time, all right? Besides, you probably…"

Buffy's hand shot up. "No, I didn't. Never here. And you bringing a string of women into my bed—it's just creepy."

"It wasn't a 'string,'" Spike insisted. "It was only a few and they didn't mean anything."

"Oh, so it was all meaningless sex. Well, that just makes it all better."

"Come on, Buffy. Besides, I'm sure the sheets have been washed."

Buffy gave Spike a look of disgust. "I'm going downstairs."

"Kitten, come on…"

"No. You just stay here with your memories of all your floozies." Buffy stormed out of the room, reminding herself at the last moment that she didn't want to call attention to their fight and didn't slam the door.

Her mother and Giles were sitting at the island in the kitchen with coffee and the newspaper when Buffy walked in. "Good morning, Buffy," Giles said, looking up at her though her mother pointedly did not. "I trust you slept well."

"I did," Buffy replied. "It was sorta nice being back in my old room."

Joyce scoffed loudly, but said nothing, and Buffy bit the inside of her cheek to keep from snapping. She was still angry from her argument with Spike, and she knew that would only make any fight she had with her mother even worse.

Giles ignored his wife's response. "Would you like some breakfast, Buffy? Toast, perhaps?"

"That would be good," Buffy replied, focusing her attention on Giles instead of her mother, deciding that was the safer bet.

Giles stood and went to the breadbox, his hand on the loaf when Joyce said, "She can make her own toast, Rupert, seeing as she's so independent these days."

"Last night she was forbidden to do anything around the house on account of her not living here and now she's to make her own toast," Giles said. "Which one is it going to be?"

Joyce said nothing in response, only slammed the section of the paper she was reading down on the island before storming out of the kitchen, coffee cup in hand.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, breaking the awkward silence that followed her mother's departure. "Now I'm making the two of you fight."

"No, you're not," Giles said. "Joyce and I are fighting over this because of her behavior—not yours."

"But I…"

Giles took Buffy's hand, leading her over to the island to sit. "Listen to me. You haven't done anything wrong, and I think deep down, Joyce knows that, too—but she's hurting, and she doesn’t know how to handle that. She feels terrible for what happened with Angel, but at the same time, she resents that guilt. She doesn't feel like she should be held accountable for his death or for the decision she felt she needed to make as a mother. She had no way of knowing how tragically things would end, and she felt that by trying to keep you out of a relationship with someone she thought was too old for you, she was keeping you safe.

"However, fate stepped in and more damage was caused than anyone could have predicted, and now she feels that she failed you as a mother. Your bitterness with her over Angel's death and your eventual decision to more to New York only strengthened that fear for her. Really, it's not you she's angry with but herself."

"Sure feels more like she's angry at me," Buffy replied.

"I know. And I've been trying to tell her that all she's doing is pushing you away even further, but she won't listen. Anger is easier for her to deal with than guilt, so that's what she's holding on to."

Buffy looked down at her hands. "I didn't blame her completely. I blamed myself way more than I ever blamed her." She paused for a moment, looking back up. "But I still couldn't help but think about how if she hadn't continued to make such a big deal out of my relationship with Angel, things would've been different. We were only four years apart in age—there's more of a difference between the two of you than that. And once I was eighteen and done with high school, couldn't she have just left us alone? It's not like I was throwing my life away to be with some bum. He was going to go to law school, and I was still going to college."

"I know. And personally, I was willing to let you do what made you happy," Giles told her. "I don't think you were being irresponsible, and I was quite reassured to see that your plans did not include forgoing college for a post-high school wedding. It wasn't, however, what your mother wished for you. She was nineteen when she met your father and they dated for nearly all of college. She feels as if she wasted her youth being so dedicated to one man, and she didn't want you to wake up feeling the same way twenty, thirty years down the road."

"I don't think that would have happened."

"Do you believe you'd still be with Angel had he not been killed?"

Buffy sucked in a deep breath. The question Giles had asked her was one she'd asked herself a million times but had not yet dwelled on it long enough to form a solid answer. "I don't know," she admitted. "I used to think so, but now…" Her gaze traveled back down, away from Giles's eyes. "There's someone else—someone I love very much—and I feel so guilty for even feeling that way sometimes because I'm afraid it means I'm somehow glad Angel's dead. I'm happier now than I was with him, and I just…" Buffy stopped as her words trailed off into tears.

Giles reached out and took Buffy's hand. "Oh, Buffy. Falling in love again doesn't mean you're glad Angel's dead. It simply means you've moved on, which is something that you have to do. The one who's still alive has no real choice but to keep living, and loving again is part of that. When Anne died, I thought that was it for me. It hurt so much to lose her that I shut myself off from everyone, even my son who needed me then more than ever. I allowed the love I felt for my wife to become something negative, something that was tearing me up inside. But then I met your mother, and she not only taught me how to love again, but that it was okay for me to do so.

"Human beings aren't solitary creatures, Buffy, no matter what we try to convince ourselves of sometimes. We're meant to have family, friends, lovers—and I don't think anyone who truly loves us would want us to be without that."

Giles took off his glasses and surprised Buffy by wiping his eyes instead of the lenses. "In her last days, Anne used to beg me to promise her I'd find someone else to love when she was gone. I couldn't understand how she could ask me to do that, especially when I was sitting at the deathbed of the woman I'd loved for most of my life. But I understand now. She loved me enough to want me to be happy, even if it couldn't be with her. That's part of what love is—wanting the best for someone else no matter what."

"So…so you don't think Angel would blame me for falling in love again?" Buffy asked softly.

"No. He'd want you to be happy, Buffy. Angel did what he did to protect you. He wanted you to live, and part of living is loving."

Buffy turned her arm over, looking at the pale scar across her wrist. "I didn't try to kill myself because I wanted to be with him—not like Mom thought. I did it because I thought I shouldn't be alive when he wasn't. He died because of me, and it just wasn't fair."

Hearing her admit that, Giles felt his heart break. He'd always questioned his decision to go along with Joyce in institutionalizing Buffy, especially after Buffy had gone all the way across the country within a month of being released. "Survivor guilt is common, Buffy," Giles told her softly. "I felt it myself with Anne, and her death was of natural causes."

"I'm glad I'm alive now," Buffy admitted. "Things are going well for me, and I'm so in love that sometimes just thinking about him makes my chest hurt, y'know? But then I'll remember that I'm only alive because Angel's not, and I feel guilty all over again."

"As much as I hate to say it, I don't think that's ever going to go away completely," Giles told her. "But the important thing is that you know it's okay to love. Because it is, Buffy. And well, it's okay to love the person you love, too, even under the…circumstances. You both needed someone, and from what little I've seen, you're good for each other. He looks at you as if you're his world."

Buffy blushed slightly at broaching this particular subject with Giles. It was abundantly clear now that Spike had been right in his assertion that Giles knew about their relationship. "I tried not to love him like this," Buffy said. "I knew I shouldn't. But I couldn't help it. He stole my heart."

Giles chuckled. "He is charming, that one. Much like his father."

Buffy giggled. "Most of the time. Although he does have his moments where he's anything but. Like this morning. Ugh, I could've throttled him."

Giles raised an eyebrow. "What did he do?"

"That think where he speaks even though his brain has apparently been temporarily shut off."

"Ah yes, that thing. That he doesn't get from me."

"He can be such a bonehead sometimes," Buffy said, kicking at the floor. "But lucky for him he can also be all cute and charming, and he always seems to know just how to get me to forgive him."

"If you don't mind my asking, how long has this been going on between the two of you?" Giles asked.

"A couple of months."

"Am I right in assuming you don't want your mother to know?"

Buffy sighed. "I know I'm going to have to tell her eventually, especially since Spike and I are definitely serious, but I knew this trip would be stressful enough without that added to it."

"I understand," Giles replied. "And I won't betray your confidence. Although honestly, it should be bloody obvious—and would be if she didn't have that habit of only seeing what she wants to see. However, I do ask that you tell her soon after you return to New York. It's an awkward situation for me to be in, knowing something like this and keeping it secret from her."

"I know. And I was hoping this wouldn't happen. Not that I really wanted to lie to you, but I thought it would be easier if no one knew. But then you and Dawn figured it out the first day we were here, so there went that plan."

"Dawn too, hmm?" Giles asked with a smirk.

"Yep. You just can't sneak anything past that girl. She's like freaking Nancy Drew."

"Oh believe me, I am well aware of that," Giles said, shaking her head. "Sometimes I think she's too smart for my own good. Although she's nothing compared to her brother, so…" Giles stopped, blushing. "Er, her step-brother. Who isn't your brother, and…oh, bloody hell."

"It's okay," Buffy said. "You fall in love with your mother's husband's son, and that's what you've gotta deal with."

"Mother's husband's son?"

"It's less creepy than step-father's son or, ugh, step-brother."

"Yes, quite right. Mother's husband's son it is then."

"Speaking of," Buffy said with a sigh, "I should probably go patch things up with him. My stomach gets all flippy when we fight, and I hate it."

"All right then. Is that a pass on breakfast?"

"Yeah. I'll eat later."

Buffy stood, going over to Giles and kissing him softly on the top of the head. "Thanks for the pep talk."

"Anytime, my dear. Anytime."

*** *** ***

I know this one is pretty slow going, but I can assure you it isn't going to be abandoned. The muse just works slowly with this one, and I don't want to post a chapter that I don't feel is the best work I can do. So thank you for all of you that have been patient, and I hope that eventually the finished product will be worth all the waiting.

Please leave a review!
 

Chapter 20:

Buffy stopped outside the door to her bedroom, reluctant to go inside. She hated fighting with Spike and she couldn't exactly say that she was as angry with him as she'd been earlier that morning, but his comments had still hurt. There was a good chance that she'd try to make up with him, he'd say something else stupid, she'd get more hurt, and they'd be worse off than before she attempted to apologize.

Or maybe he'd keep his mouth in check for once and they could just straighten everything out and be fine.

It was that second possibility that gave her the push she needed to go into the room. She had enough stress in her life right now being at odds with her mother, she didn't need to throw a fight with Spike into the mix—especially on Christmas Eve.

Spike was sitting at the end of the bed when she walked in, and he looked up at her, his expression reminding her every bit of a kicked puppy. "M'sorry," he muttered, glancing down again.

Sometimes Buffy hated just how adorable he could make himself whenever she was mad at him, but now she was grateful, happy to stop being angry and just give in to his charm. She sat beside him, rubbing his back. "I know you are."

"Don't want anyone other than you, y'know," Spike told her. "Never met another woman who makes me feel the way you do."

"I know," Buffy said, leaning in and pressing a kiss on his shoulder. "I'm just extra-tense girl right now, what with Momzilla and all."

Spike gave a little half grin. "I still shouldn't have said that. Too early in the morning, blood flowing in the wrong direction, etc." Spike paused and Buffy chuckled lightly. "That time before," Spike said after a moment, "Before I met you—I wasn't at my best, pet. I'm not a womanizer. I have more respect for women than that. But I'd just broken up with Drusilla, and she was, well, the only woman I'd ever been with. May be hard to believe seeing what a damn sexy bloke I turned out to be and all, but there was a time when people would've found it a bit less shocking to hear that I'm the son of a librarian. Then Dru came along and she fixed me up, made me feel like I was somebody."

Spike paused again, sighing. He hated to talk about it all, the wounds still fresh even now, but he knew he should tell Buffy, let her know where he was coming from. If she could open up about the death of the man she'd loved before him, then he could tell her about a messy break-up. "When Drusilla left me, it was like the rug had been snatched out from under me. I didn't see it coming, although looking back I probably should have. So much of my identity was tied into her. She's the woman who made me Spike, if that makes any bloody sense. I was pathetic little William until she came along, and then when she left, I was afraid I would be again. So I may have overcompensated a little. She made me feel like I was less of a man, so I tried to prove that I wasn't. It's not really a good reason or excuse, but it's what it was."

"It's okay," Buffy said, taking his hand. "I can get that."

"I don't want to be with a lot of different women," Spike told her. "Some guys say monogamy is boring, but I tend to be the other way around. I like getting to know a woman—getting to learn her. You can't do that if you're going your separate ways the next morning."

Buffy pushed an errant curl off his forehead. "You don't have to be just Spike, you know. William's a pretty good guy, too."

Spike scoffed. "You don't know William."

"Yes I do."

"I was a right git as a kid, Buffy. I was always writing this bloody awful poetry and my hair—looked like I stuck my tongue in a sodding light socket."

Buffy fought the smile that was creeping to her face. "I've seen the pictures, and it wasn't that bad. I mean yeah, I prefer it now, because you've got some damn sexy hair, but it wasn't unsalvageable. And if your writing was 'bloody awful' then, it's gotten a lot better now. I love your songs, you know."

"I'm never very sure about them. I got so used to people laughing at everything I wrote."

"They're not laughing now, Spike. They're cheering. I've seen those girls hanging off the side of the stage—you've got groupies." Buffy elbowed him playfully.

"Don't care about groupies," Spike replied, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her against his side. "Only care about my girl."

"And you have me." Buffy paused for a moment, frowning. "Only not, y'know, like that until we get back home."

"I hope you know you're getting ravaged as soon as we walk though the door," Spike replied. "You're not going to be able to walk straight for a week."

Buffy giggled. "Promises, promises."

"Oh, you're gonna get it, missy," Spike said, his hand creeping to her side to tickle her. She squealed, twisting in his grasp.

"Hey! Evil!" Buffy exclaimed between giggles.

"You better believe it, baby," Spike said, tongue between his teeth.

"Don't do that!" Buffy scolded, smacking his shoulder. "Having to wait a week is bad enough without you looking all sexy."

"So what am I to do if I can't look sexy? Put a bag over my head?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "And how exactly do you fit your ego in this room?"

"It's slipping a bit through the crack beneath the door."

"Uh huh. Pathetic much?"

"Only pathetic if it's not true, baby." Spike winked at her, making Buffy shiver. "See—you know how bloody sexy I am."

Buffy smiled slowly, then leaned in, her mouth right against his ear. "You're right. I do. It's gonna be real hard keeping my hands off of you all…week…long." She punctuated each of the last three words by nipping at his earlobe.

Spike's mouth opened for a second before he snapped it shut. "Buffy…kitten, please…"

Buffy could see him straining in his jeans and decided to take pity on the guy. Actual sex still left too much room for getting caught, but maybe she could get away with a little something. She stood up, glancing behind her to make sure the door was indeed shut before getting to her knees in front of Spike. He looked down at her as she did, raising an eyebrow. "Shh…" Buffy said, pressing her finger to her lips. "Make one sound and I stop—got it?"

Spike nodded quickly, his dick growing harder in his jeans at the sight of her there. Buffy popped open the buttons of his fly, pulling him out into her warm hands and making Spike thrust up, needing more of her touch.

Buffy was tempted to tease, loving how she could drive Spike to begging, but she didn't want to waste time in case they were interrupted. Instead, she leaned forward, taking as much of him in her mouth as she could in one stroke. Spike bit his bottom lip, grasping white-knuckled at the edge of the mattress, fighting to keep from vocalizing his pleasure.

What she couldn't fit down her throat, Buffy wrapped her hand around, stroking and turning in time with her mouth. She swallowed around him, and Spike's eyes rolled up, his hips lifting slightly off the bed. He struggled to stay quiet, not wanting to test if she'd been serious when she said she'd stop.

Buffy pulled back slightly, bringing air into her lungs again. She looked up at Spike, smirking around his cock as she saw the look on his face. His expression was one of tortured bliss, and she knew she could either give him more pleasure or take it away. It was a heady feeling, that sort of power.

Luckily for Spike, she was in a benevolent mood. Buffy knew exactly how to push him over the edge, and took his balls in her hand, squeezing them with just the right amount of pressure as she hummed around his shaft. Spike gripped the bed tighter, unable to hold back his strangled groan as he came inside her mouth, Buffy deftly swallowing it all.

"You bad boy," Buffy said as she pulled back, licking her lips. "You made a sound."

"Couldn't help it, pet," Spike replied, panting. "You're just too bloody good at that."

"Well, you were behaved for the rest of it, so I guess I can forgive you," Buffy said. She gave his cock a soft kiss before tucking him back into his jeans and buttoning them.

"You're as gracious as you are beautiful," Spike said with a smile as Buffy got to her feet. "Do you want me to…"

"No," Buffy said. "Well, I want you to, but I don't think we should push it anymore right now. Besides, we both know I can't be quiet."

"Not something that's ever gotten any complaints from me. I love to make you scream." Spike took hold of her hands, pulling her down into his lap. He held her for a moment, his face resting against her hair. "So we're good now?"

"Yeah, we’re good," Buffy replied, smiling. "You can have a get-out-of-the-doghouse free card on account of it being Christmas Eve."

"If that's the case, I think I like Christmas Eve. You let me off for being a jackass and then you blow me. Bloody good holiday this one."

Buffy sat up a little, rolling her eyes. "You're just a lost cause, you know that right?"

"Yeah, but you love me anyway, so I'm really quite all right with it."

"Well, as long as you're happy," Buffy teased. She got up from his lap reluctantly and stretched. "We should probably go downstairs. As much as I'd love to stay in here with you all day, the whole point of visiting the family is, well, visiting the family—even if certain members of said family make me want to scream."

"I'll be here for you, pet. Won't let her get you. And if it starts to look like it's getting too bad, we'll go someplace else. I'm not going to let you be miserable, especially on Christmas."

"I know. You're good like that." Buffy leaned down and gave him a quick kiss. "Now let's go face the world."

*** *** ***

Despite the fact that having to keep up appearances meant that she couldn't snuggle up with her boyfriend and had to instead sit with her sister wedged between them, Buffy was having a good time. They had put in the DVD of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer at Dawn's request, and she was enjoying the bit of Christmas cheer. She kept glancing over at Spike, noticing that he was way more engrossed in the movie than she was certain he'd claim he had been later. She smiled to herself, wondering who he thought he was fooling with that "Big Bad" persona of his. He was just a big softy.

"Buffy, can I speak with you alone for a moment?"

Buffy's heart sank. There it was, the Voice of Doom, guaranteed to ruin any nice moment. "I'm sort of in the middle of a movie, Mom," Buffy said, wanting nothing less than to go off alone with her mother, especially since the sour look on Joyce's face made it quite clear that it was not for some sort of heartfelt reconciliation.

"You've seen this movie plenty of times, Buffy," Joyce snapped. "Now get up and come with me to the kitchen."

Spike looked over at Buffy, silently asking if she needed his help, but she just softly shook her head and stood, following her mother out. As soon as they were in the kitchen, Joyce took something from her pocket and slammed it down on the island. "Care to tell me why I found these in your room, Buffy?"

Buffy looked at the item in question, her eyes widening as she identified it as her birth control pills. "You were snooping?"

"I wasn't snooping," Joyce replied. "I was cleaning. And that is so not the point, young lady."

"It is the point!" Buffy yelled, snatching the pills off the counter. "My personal life is none of your business."

"It damn well is! You're my daughter!"

"Am I?" Buffy snapped in response. "You sure as hell don't treat me like one."

"Oh, how dare you!" Joyce countered. "After everything I've had to put up with with you! And I did not let you move to New York so you could start sleeping around!"

"I am not sleeping around! And you didn't let me do anything. You know as well as I do that I went there to be as far away from you as I could get!"

"You, Buffy, are an ungrateful, selfish, spoiled little brat," Joyce replied. "I gave up everything so you could have a good life, and all you've done is throw it in my face!"

"Gave up everything? Yeah, you looked like you were really hurting living in Dad's mansion all those years. And now, well, you're practically in the poor house as you live out your dream of owning an art gallery!" Buffy was shaking as she yelled at her mother, years of pent up emotions seeming to be coming to the surface. "I held the man I loved in my arms as he died, and you couldn't even show the smallest amount of pity for me. You sent me away, brushed me under the rug like I was some uncomfortable problem."

"That is not true!"

"It is true! I was hurting! I felt like my heart had been ripped out, and all I wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up. Didn't that mean anything to you?"

"Of course it did! Buffy, I hated seeing you in that kind of pain, and I got you the help you needed!"

"No, no you didn't." Buffy wiped at her eyes, brushing away angry tears. "You don't know what it was like, being there. I was alone and hurting. You let them take me away and lock me up where I was all alone."

"Buffy…"

"No! God, you want to know about selfish? Look in the damn mirror." Buffy held up the small package of pills. "And these are because I'm in a monogamous relationship with a man that loves me. And yes, I'm having sex. Lots and lots of sex. So deal with it!" She stormed out of the kitchen, going back to her bedroom and slamming the door behind her.

Back in the living room, Dawn and Spike sat uncomfortably on the couch, Buffy and Joyce's fight easy for them to hear, even with the television still on. They shared a look, and Spike started to get up, slowly at first, then quicker as he noticed Joyce on her way to the stairs.

"Leave her alone, Joyce. I mean it. You go up there right now, and we're on the first flight back to New York."

Joyce stopped in her tracks, turning to look at Spike. "It's you."

Spike paused at that, clearing his throat. "What?"

"The one Buffy needs those pills for—it's you."

Spike searched his mind desperately for something to say, knowing this wouldn't make things at all easier for Buffy. But he couldn't, and Joyce took his silence as an admission.

"Get out of my house."

Spike took a step back. "Joyce…"

"No, I want you gone. I trusted you alone with Buffy, and you took advantage of that. And you're Rupert's son. It's just…well, it's sick."

Spike bristled. "I love her, Joyce. There's nothing sick about that."

"There's a lot sick about it, William. Now get your things, and go. You're not welcome here."

"I'm not leaving Buffy."

Joyce threw her hands up. "You know what, fine. Why don't you both just go then." She turned around and stormed off.

With his shoulders slumped, Spike trudged up the stairs to Buffy.

*** *** ***
 

Next