Chapter 11

Note: really short chapter. I mean really really really short chapter (sorrie kiddes, don't worry the next chapter will be up in 1 or 2 days)

~~~

Late in the morning Aoide kicked William's door for the twentieth time with all the slayer strength she possessed. It was blocked off totally with an extremely strong power.

"WILLIAM!" she screamed, "Are you all right?! Let me in!"

There was no reply.

Aoide thumped her head on the door, "God, just let me in. Something's wrong, I know that you're hurting in some way.. Let me help?"

But all she heard was silence

~~~~~

William had closed off the entire area into his room; he knew that Aoide surely would have heard him scream. But he couldn't let her in. She couldn't know. He was pacing now, his thoughts running a mile a minute.

'Where is Leng when you need her?!' he muttered darkly to himself. Then he remembered that his cell phone was still in his jacket pocket.

She had left a message for him.

"I'm sorry William, just hold in there for a few more days. This potion takes at least 3 days to complete. Once it's done, I'll catch the next flight over. Bye."

'Not soon enough. no, no, I need it now. I need it so bad. It hurts. It hurts so much.'

He made a desperate strangled sound as he clenched his fingers in his brownish blond hair. His face was twisted in anguish as his memories came together and became more crystal clear.

~~~~

"Giles! We have to find a way to exorcise that hell god from Spike's body! Who knows what he's going to do next!"

"Y-yes B-buffy. I know. I-I've narrowed it down to around t-t-three spells. O-our problem is how are we ever going to lure him back h-here."

"I don't know!"

"Whatever it is we have to do it fast, he's managed to destroy all of Wolfram and Harte easily and he's killed a slayer and the newest slayer is on his side." Angel pointed out.

"Gee Deadboy, can we be more obvious?" Xander retorted.

Buffy glared at Angel and Xander. "Look! Lets just think of a plan!"

Cordelia look over at Dawn. "Wait a minute! Remember how worried he was over Dawn? We can tell him that she's even more hurt! He'll be rushing over here before we even finish the message."

Giles nodded, "Y-yes! That's a terrific idea. And I know which spell we have to use. However, the exorcising spell will take about 72 hours to prepare at the shortest. So we'll call him when it's done."

Anya raised her hand. "Wait a minute, you guys are forgetting something. He needs to be held down so that the exorcism can work. How do we tie down a very strong hell god?"

Lucifer appeared in the middle of the room. "Maybe I can be of some assistance."

~~~~

Spike was standing in front of Buffy's house in the middle of the night. It wasn't one of his prophetic dreams this time. It was memory.

"Buffy?" Spike implored as she opened the door.

"You." She whispered.

"I. I wanted to say what a pillock I am for doing all those horrid things to you."

She remained silent and she stared at him with dark, despising eyes. Spike gulped and continued.

"I know I can never make up for what I did to you. But I want to try to do what I can."

"To what Evil undead? You going to try your best to rape her again?" Xander said as he appeared behind Buffy.

Spike's eyes widened in horror, "NO! I won't!"

"Oh yeah and what makes you so different this time huh Spike?"

"I have a soul now, I know what I did wrong. Not that I didn't already know what I did wrong before. Please?." Spike looked at Buffy. She currently wouldn't even look at him.

"Scram Deadboy Jr."

"Shut up Harris!" Spike yelled, he was getting frustrated. He hadn't anticipated Xander to be there.

"No you shut up Spike!" Buffy yelled as she finally raised he head. "Did you really think that you could come back and beg for forgiveness after what you did?! Not to mention that you weren't even there when you were needed to the most!"

"I'm sorry. I heard about Tara and Willow and what happened. I wish I could have been here to help."

"You're pathetic." Buffy cut him off.

Spike's undead heart was squeezing painfully now. "I know. I just.*sigh*"

"No. you're not welcome back here anymore Spike. Leave. I don't care if you have a soul. What you did was unforgivable."

Spike's infamous temper flared, "After what Angel did you still forgave him! I didn't kill anyone! I didn't torment you or your Scoobies! I gave you everything you wanted!!! I even got this bleeding soul that has been making my undead life a living hell!"

Buffy covered her ears, he refused to hear him. She knew that he was right, but subconsciously she was disgusted with herself for lowering to his level. And now she wanted to push him away more than anything else.

"Buffy, just hear me out."

"You heard her Spike, she wants nothing to do with you." Xander pitched in.

Spike looked down at his feet with a heavy heart. "Is he right Buffy? Do you want me to leave?"

Buffy's mind was jumble now, she was recalling the bathroom scene again and before she knew it, she was nodding her head furiously. " Yes. yes. just get out!"

Spike choked on a sob, "Are you sure?" He was at the end of his line, he need her so badly, she had become his reason for existence and now for the second time of his life, he could feel himself dying.

"Get out!" Buffy screamed, she swiftly stepped back and closed the door in his face.

Spike numbly walked back to his motorcycle and drove as long as he could out of Sunnydale. He rented a shabby hotel room next to the San Francisco Airport and bought a ticket for a flight to England. Tears never really came, it was different this time. It wasn't like the time Buffy died or Joyce died or every time Buffy rejected him. He just couldn't cry, there was this horrid swelling in his chest that burned and consumed his entire being. He took labored unneeded breaths to try to calm himself, but that didn't' work. He tried chain smoking, doing a few drugs and killing a few demons that night. Nothing worked. When he got back to the hotel room he couldn't sleep, he just stared at the wall as he felt his mind detach from his body. And the pain just grew and grew and grew.

~~~

The dream jumped again. Leng was looking at his arm now. There were some brown stripes and spots on his wrist. He blinked his eyes a few times.the spots were growing along his arm.

"Why is it doing that?" Spike asked, slightly panicked.

"It's feeding on your pain." Leng whispered.

"What happens if it's done feeding."

"You will become the monster that you killed earlier.this 'thing' isn't a demon, it's a manifestation of hatred, fear, pain, loathing. everything dark within us. It will destroy you. It will destroy your soul, your humanity. Everything. You will be consumed alive."

Spike digested this information. "Then kill me. Before I become this monster, before I hurt anyone else."

"I can't."

"WHY NOT?!"

"Once it's found it's vessel, it will keep it from dying until it has possessed it fully."

"Then I should leave."

"No, it'll be worse if you leave. I'll try to help in anyway I can. I'll try to put it off."

"Put it off?"

"It doesn't matter, it'll destroy you in the end no matter what. You already have so much pain. This thing will heighten your suffering. You will begin to hallucinate and imagine things that aren't really there. It will warp your mind and twist everything to it will."

Spike shrank into the bed he was on, "No. please no, I can't take anymore. It can't be worse. It'll drive me insane."

Leng whispered, "I'm sorry."

~~~ Spike looked at Leng's village in the night one last time and ran off. He hitched at ride into a local city and rented a hotel room. While he was out eating some dinner (Which happened to be very easy to attain since the Chinese had an eclectic of tastes.*), he managed to buy a bag full of candles, a knife, and a gun.

Then he retreated to this small dark hotel room he rented.

In the morning, the walls, the bed sheets, and the floor were covered with shattered glass, melted candles and Spike's blood. ~~~

Spike took the bottle of 'forgetting potion' to his lips and drank it like a man deprived of water for days. He made sure not to miss a single drop. Then his eyes widened as things began to blur and faded to a white light.

When he awoke Leng, look him outside in the daylight and began to fabricate the story of his new life.

~~~

William opened his eyes again. It was morning again. ' I got through another night. I can do it. I can hang in there. Just two more days.'

Cont.

Chapter 12

~~~

After pacing and muttering to himself for the last few hours, William's body succumbed to sleep once more. During this time, his defenses fell and Aoide finally was able to open the door to his room.

"William?" She whispered as the door swung open with a soft whine. She gasped as she saw him sprawled out on the bed unconscious.

"William!" She cried out more urgently as she went to his side and shook his shoulders.

There was no answer.

Then she checked his vital signs. He was still breathing and his circulation was still going. She tried to wake him again but to no avail.

Aoide panicked for a few moments. and finally ran to his desk drawer and pulled out a private phone book that he kept. He used to mention Leng a lot while he helped her train, he always talked about how good of a fighting teacher she was and how skilled she was at making potions and ancient remedies.

Aoide scrambled out of William's room, went into the kitchen to get the cordless phone and looked up Leng's cell phone number.

~~~~

He watched himself in the mirror; there were two people where there should have been one. He saw himself, his old self and then he also saw a very tall figure dressed in a dark blue robe. The figure was extremely tall, very muscular, his face was hardened with sharp edges and dark violet eyes, and his most prominent feature was that he had enormous silver wings that grew from his back.

"Who are you?" Spike queried.

"I am everything, I am you, I am..." The figure spoke.

"A little more concise please?" Spike asked as he crossed his arms.

"I am Michael. You should have known who I am already. I've been in your body for years already." He retorted.

Spike furrowed his brow, "I think I know who you are. I can sense you... or something. I was aware of your presence for a while."

"No, you always knew on the inside, but you're suppressing the memory at the moment. Both of you know."

"Both?"

At that moment Spike looked into the mirror and he split into two being again. There stood a demon with blue skin and black hair, he looked like a gangster with tattoos. He looked tired with the rings under his eyes, emaciated from lack of nutrition and he was covered in cuts and bruises. Next to him was a little human boy, about 9 years old, who was curled up on the ground. He clutched his chest as he wheezed softly, trying to take in as much breath as he could. The little blue-eyed shivered or coughed every once in a while, he looked as if he was in the last fatal stages of Scarlet Fever.

When the Spike split into the two beings he realized that this was his demon soul and his human soul. Both weakened tremendously and one of them dying. The demon soul immediately knelt down and scooped up this human soul into his arms and rocked him slowly. The little boy clung onto for dear life as he whimpered a little at being jarred when the demon soul picked him up.

Michael walked over. "He's dying Nemiphoren."

The demon soul nodded sadly and spoke with a very thick Northern British street accent, "I know. I just wish I could help him."

" You're dying too, but not as fast as he his."

"I already know that. We can't keep fighting that thing. Even if you have been protecting us, it can eat away at us through different ways. It's just slowly burning the both of us out."

"Nemi." The little boy whispered.

"Hey Will, hang in there okay?" The demon soul said as he tried to put on a smile for the boy's benefit.

"I'm tired." Will said as she rubbed his eyes

"Yeah, same here."

"You don't have to keep protecting me, you'll probably live longer if you leave me." Will said softly and then he began to shiver again.

Nemiphoren frowned and wrapped the boy in his trench coat. "Don't be daft kiddo. I wouldn't leave you here. I'd be pretty boring without you, yah know."

He tried to lighten the mood, but the situation was still pretty bad.

"Thank you Nemi." William whispered as he burrowed himself into the warm coat.

"Hey, go to sleep 'lright? I'm gonna talk to Mr. Archangel over here."

"Will Buffy love me someday?" Will whispered with a little hope in his eyes.

"Yeah!" Nemi said a little too enthusiastically. "Yah know, we've been gone so long. She'll be ecstatic and she'll jump into our arms and she'll love us like crazy. And we can take her to all these nice place since we've got money now and well can help Niblet."

Will smiled as he slowly fell asleep, listening to Nemi's great plans.

After Nemi was sure that Will had fallen asleep, he stopped spinning his lies. He bit his lip as he quietly sobbed. He had kept Spike's encounter with the Scoobies away from Will this entire time, Will wouldn't have been able to stand the hateful way that Buffy looked at him. Will was remembering again after all these years, sure in the past few years there had been a few close calls. But now, his human soul almost remembered everything up until the day Buffy came back from the dead.. Nemi was afraid that the broken and weak human soul wouldn't be able to last long if he knew everything in the end. 'Please don't die.' Then he turned around and went to talk with Michael. ~~~

"Lucifer!" Lorne growled hateful.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know no one likes me, I'm evil yada yada yada. But that's not the point. I'm here because I want one of my hell gods back."

Buffy crossed her arms, "Why do you want him? And what are you going to do once you get him back?"

"One, I need him back to help me fight in the final battle, or else the playing field won't be even, especially considering how powerful he is. And two, I'm just going to take my hell god and leave."

"I don't think so, it sounds to me like another apocalypse." Buffy said in a bored voice.

Lucifer sneered, "Stupid humans, have no idea what the hell is going on.Look, you want your friend back, I want my demon back. If we don't do this, neither of us get what we want!"

"Fine." Buffy said curtly , "Just stay out of our way. We can handle the situation."

Lucifer rolled his eyes, "The situation needs to be dealt with as soon as possible. I can make the potions work in one tenth the amount of time than their suppose to."

Giles raised an eyebrow, "How is that possible?"

"Just one of the perks about being an Archangel, and even though I've 'fallen', yes I am still considered one. I can speed up time for anyplace, anything, anyone."

Giles handed over the ready potions, "Alright then, do your stuff."

Lucifer look the cups from Giles and placed it on a table nearby. The green liquids glowed orange for a few moments and then returned to normal. "It should be ready within two hours, I suggest you call him around 9:50."

~~~

Leng paused while she opened the door to her lab, she was on her way to check on the potion, when she heard her cell phone ring. She picked up

"Hello, Leng speaking."

"E-excuse me. Ms. Leng?"

"Yes? Who is this, how did you get my private number?"

"M-my name is Aoide. W-w-William is in trouble. I can't wake him up. He's still alive, but he's unconscious. I don't know what to do!"

Leng bit her lower lip. "Shoot." she muttered. "How long has he been out?"

"I don't know. He somehow was able to lock me out of his room for the last two days."

"I'm on my way over there right now." Leng said as she packed the potion into a special case. "I'm going to try to catch the next flight out of here. This is serious. Just, don't move him! Try to get him to stay awake until I get there, the next time he wakes up."

"Alright. What do I do now?"

"Just stay calm and stay by his side."

"Thank you, thank you. bye."

"Watch him, good bye."

~~~ Michael crossed his arms as he leaned against the wall, his silver wings folded very neatly behind him.

Nemi's hands were stuffed his pocket. "He's getting worse. Can't you do anything?"

Michael shook his head. "This beast within his mindscape isn't demonic. It's more man-made, it's the accumulation of human hate, fear, sorrow, agony, revenge. all that negative emotion. I don't know how or who started it, I was somewhat aware of it before when I was watching from heaven. I would stop it if I could, but I don't know how to get rid of it and every method I've tried doesn't work."

Nemi clenched his fist. "Well try harder!"

"Calm down!"

"Calm down?! Will is dying!"

"Since when did demon souls care about the human souls."

"." Nemi frowned and looked away.

Michael gave him an intrigued look. "You've very interesting, for a demon soul. I never pried before when I entered your body, but my curiosity is getting the better of me. You're so protective of the human soul in this body that you inhabit; which is immensely odd. I thought that once a person becomes a vampire, the demon soul either pushes out the human soul completely or they torture and subdue it."

Nemi's eyes grew distant as he recalled the past. "When I entered William's body. I wanted to throw out the human soul. But he wasn't a threat at all, he was hiding from me half the time. So in the end, we just kind of left each other alone. I started to get used to him being there, but I was still in control of Spike's body. About the same time Spike got the chip in his head. I made a truce with Will, if I started to help Buffy and the Slayerettes, then he would use his intelligence to feed me and keep me alive. We started to become. friends.I started to learn about William's life before I came along and I sympathized for him and he helped me get over Dru when she left.

I think the both of us fell in love with Buffy. He loves the Buffy side of her and I loved the Slayer side. We both had a mutual understanding and strove to somehow court her. We tried everything, from being sweet and giving her candy to shagging her. nothing worked.And then when we went to get our 'soul', which meant making Will the guy in control; he never kicked me out like most human souls would have, and he just split our job of being in control. But I'm digressing. Look, Will and I have been mates for so long, he's kept me out of trouble and I've protected him all the nasties. I don't think I can lose him. he's become a apart of me."

Michael looked at the demon soul with studying eyes and nodded. "I'll keep trying. But I can't guarantee anything. Why don't you go back and check on Will."

Nemi nodded and walked back to the little boy bundled in the black trench coat.

~~~ Leng whispered with a triumphant "yes!" to herself as the lady at the check- in counter informed her that there were extra seats to the one-way flight to Los Angeles. Sure, she had to pay more, but money was no comparison to the severity of the emergency.

She called Aoide again, after she got her ticket, to tell her to pick her up at the airport

She crossed her fingers and hoped that she would get there in time.

~~~

William woke up again, but with more understanding this time. This time he knew that the demon soul was in charge, since Michael had gone off to find more ways to fend off the creature that was draining them. It was evening already. He looked at the clock, which read 9: 42 pm. Then he noticed that his room's door was open. '.must have dropped my defenses."

William quietly walked out of his room, "Aoide?" he called out.

There was no reply.

Then he noticed a note tacked to the exit door.

William-

If you wake up while I'm gone, I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm out getting dinner for your gramps and you. I'll be back soon. How does some of Wilson's chicken soup sound? I know it's your favorite. Be back soon.

Aoide

P.S. don't do anything stupid.

William smirked at the last comment. Aoide was a great slayer, she was unconventional, just like Buffy was, however, Aoide was never trained by a Watcher. He had learned that the first week Aoide stayed with him. He could tell that she wasn't Chinese despite her black hair and brown eyes, her sharp defined face was definitely Mediterranean. She had told him that she was Greek with some Arabian blood, hence her darker tones. When she was 7, her family was approached by Watchers who were trying to take her away to train; in response, they fled. They had ended up in South Korea for about 4 years, it the perfect hiding place because there were no addresses there at all. But word of mouth somehow led the Watchers to their doorstep once more. Then they had fled to Hong Kong and stayed there for 5 years. And finally she had just left not too long ago to flee to California. Even though she wasn't trained by watchers, she was a very good fighter. Her parents had looked for all sorts of dojos to teach her as they fled from the Watchers. And Aoide also had a special power that all the descendants in their family had.

~ (Flashback)

William easily blocked one of Aoide's high kicks and he used her momentum to flip her over. He could tell that Aoide was getting frustrated, she had never been taught to counter his style of fighting. He had picked up this very difficult style from Leng. Basically, every one of his moves absorbed his opponent's attacks and used their own momentum against them.

Eventually William pinned Aoide to the wall.

"Give up. You can't beat me." He said as he gave her a victorious smile.

Aoide scowled at him and opened her mouth. He expected her to throw angry insults at him and his arrogance. Instead, she started to sing.

The rhythm of her song and the resonating effect of her voice caused his mind to fuzz and within seconds he crumpled onto the floor and fell into a deep sleep.

(End flashback) ~

William smiled at the memory. When he had woken up, he was totally disoriented and confused, but after that he never worried about Aoide again. He had found out later that everyone in her family could do that and that particular song she sang could make any creature, dead or alive, fall asleep for at least 5 hours. She also had other songs that made people feel sad, happy, confused, in love, etc. Indeed she was unconventional.

Suddenly the William heard the phone ring and he hurried over to pick it up.

It was Cordy and she sounded panicked.

"Cordy what's wrong?"

"Oh my god, oh my god. Dawn's hurt really badly, she was trying to go downstairs to get something to eat and she fell down the stairs because of her twisted ankle. She's unconscious right now! Please help her!"

Without thinking twice William responded, forgetting the hostile message he had told the Scoobies two days before, "I'll be over as soon as I can! Don't move her and call the hospital."

"Please hurry!" Cordy cried out and finally disconnected the line.

William put down the phone, got his jacked and rushed out of his penthouse unaware of the ambush that awaited him.

Cont.

Chapter 13

Woah. this is going to be a pretty long chapter. Okay, on second thought, I'm not changing it to be rated 'R', why? Because I don't have any really crude sexual thing in this story, it might seem a little gory. I mean, if they had a PG-15, this would definitely fit right in. But it doesn't. Besides, which kid who is 13 hasn't heard of people committing suicide? And I've seen some action movies with some pretty gruesome fighting scenes that were only PG-13. beside, I think it's relative. You can't really decide how mature a 13 year old is. As, for me? I'm 18 and I'll never be mature. It ain't going to happen. I'll still be watching stupid cartoons when I'm 60. Go me!

Darn it! I realized that everything I have italicized in my Word document doesn't show up italicized on fanfiction.net . sigh. okay, I guess I'll have to find another way to show different passages. Here:

Passages that happen in Spike's mind: *** blah blah bleh ***

REALLY DARK STORY! IF YOU'RE DEPRESSED AT THE MOMENT>>> WAIT UNTIL LATER TO READ.

~~~

William dashed into the hotel and the first thing he saw was Dawn lying at the bottom of the stairs with Cordy leaning over her. Cordy looked panicked as she kept lightly shaking Dawn and calling out her name.

Cordy's looked immensely worried as she said Dawn's name, "Dawn? Dawnie, are you okay? Wake up please!"

William hurried over to where Cordy was, "Cordy! Here, I'll take over and see what I can do."

Cordy stood up from her spot and allowed William to crouch down next to Dawn. He bent over to check Dawns pulse, relieved that it was beating sturdily. Unknown to him Cordy pulled a syringe out of her pocket and uncapped it. As William leaned down to check Dawn's breathing, he felt a sharp prick in his shoulder and something being injected into him. William gasped as his vision began to blur. He splayed his hands out on both sides of him to keep himself up.

To his surprise Dawn suddenly opened her eyes and began to back away from him.

"Dawn?" He asked in a slightly betrayed tone. Then he turned around to face Cordy, who was still holding the syringe.

"Why?" He asked and then collapsed as the world blacked out.

~~~

Buffy, Angel and the others came out of their hiding places. Buffy did a few tests to make sure William was unconscious, then she nodded to the others indicating that it was okay to move him into the room that they had prepared.

After they finally set his body in the middle of the floor in one of the rooms, Lucifer reappeared and watched them work. Dawn placed large red candles around William's prone figure; Anya used some magical blue dust and made a circle around him. Then Giles sat to the right of William and got ready to do the ceremony. During this time, Xander had gone out to drop Tommy off at Wesley's friend's house.

Buffy turned to Lucifer, "Okay, we purge this hell god out of Spike's body and you take it and leave."

Lucifer nodded, "Yeah, yeah. Just get on with it."

Xander returned soon enough, just as Giles took some feathers out of a leather bag and placed them around the bowl in front of him, then he sprinkled some ashes into the bowl and he muttered a few Latin words.

Suddenly, William's eyes snapped open. Fred screamed and jumped into Gunn's arms. Giles back up a little in fear.

"H-he can't do that, that sleeping potion was suppose to last for at least 24 hours. We just injected it into him 15 minutes ago." Giles told the group.

William's eyes were completely violet this time instead of a slight bluish- violet color tint that the others had seen before. He looked over at Giles with a wild look and spoke.

"You can't do this, you'll kill him."

Buffy yelled back, "You're the one that's killing him!"

"No, I'm the only thing keeping him safe. You'll destroy him, you don't understand!"

Angel glared at William, "We can't trust a YOU. Hurry Giles, finish the spell!"

"Wait! You can't handle him, what he's become! He's insane! He won't be able to handle it. You broke him! Don't do this! I beg you, don't do this! IT will kill him!"

Willow worriedly looked over at Buffy, "What do we do? What if we'll really hurt Spike?"

Buffy whispered back to Willow, "Anything is better than being possessed by a hell god." And then out loud she told Giles to finish the spell.

Giles poured some orange looking liquid into the bowl and then lit a match to set it on fire. Then he chanted some more Latin words and finished it with "I exorcise thee!" The smoke that came from the fire entered William's body and pulled out Michael's spirit.

Michael panicked as he was pulled out of William's body and could sense William's defenses immediately falling.

Lucifer was grinning happily at the unidentifiable white mass floating out of William, until it suddenly took form.

Lucifer's mouth dropped in surprise, "Michael?!"

Michael growled and held a dagger at Lucifer's throat. "I'm going to have a talk with YOU, you better have a good explanation for why you drew me out of William's body. Now, I can't enter his body until you find a spell that can undo the exorcism!"

Lucifer began to stutter, "I-I-I didn't know it was you! I thought it was one of my hell gods! I-I-I swear!"

Michael's eyes narrowed and then his hand lashed out at clamped down on Lucifer's ear, "Let's go have a talk."

"OW! Oooowwwww! Geez! Let go! That's hurts!" Lucifer yelped.

"You're going to hurt you even more when I'm through with you." Michael hissed at Lucifer as he magically turned his dagger into a sword.

Lucifer whimpered as he and Michael disappeared into thin air.

~~~~

The group gaped at the sight of Michael dragging Lucifer out the door by his ear until Xander cried out. Then they turned to Xander and looked down at where Xander was pointing. Wesley looked utterly confused, "Huh? Wait. didn't Lucifer say that the spirit was a hell god?"

"I think he messed up." Lorne said to no one in particular.

While the group looked onward, Xander glanced down at William and cried out. Then they turned to Xander and looked down at where Xander was pointing. William's eyes were closed, but his face winced like he was in horrible pain. Once Michael had left Spike's body, hundreds of scars and bruises appeared where they hadn't been before. There was a deep, X-shaped scar on his right cheek, the scattered scars on his face looked like he had plunged his face into a bucket of glass shrapnel. There were knife cuts all over his legs, torso and arms, but the most noticeable cuts were the multiple vertical ones on both wrists.

Buffy covered her mouth in horror, she knew that vertical cuts on the wrists weren't cuts to get attention, they were ones to make sure that the person committing suicide would be successful. Everyone else looked just as shocked and horrified as Buffy did. Dawn and Angel knelt down to examine Spike closer. Dawn lifted his wrist and looked at the strange spot and striped tattoos that weren't there before.

Angel shook Spike's shoulder, "Come on Spike, wakeup. Spike, Spike."

~~~

***Nemi winced as the entire mindscape shook like an earthquake and parts of the sky began to fall around them. He held Will even closer to him, Will whimpered, "What's happening? Why is this happening again?! Where's Michael?"

Nemi shook his head and cussed out the damn Archangel, "I think he left kiddo."

Will suddenly looked haunted, "No.. no, please no, not again. Don't let it get me Nemi. Oh god no."

Nemi stood up and began to run with Will in his arms, "Come on, we've got to get somewhere safe first."

Will shook his head, "No, we're never safe, it's everywhere. No matter where we run, it'll find us. It wants me Nemi."

"Shut up kid. I'm not letting you go without a fight. So don't even suggest something so stupid."

Will buried his head into Nemi's neck and whispered, "It's here." ***

~~~

Aoide gave a frustrated sigh as she entered the house when she realized that it was still silent. She put the food she bought on the counter and quietly set the dishes. Then she tiptoed over to William's room and lightly knocked on his door.

"William?" She asked. "Are you awake yet?"

Then she noticed the empty bed and the covers pushed away. She blinked a few times. 'Okay.he's up.'

"William!" She called out a few times and went off to search for him, but to no avail.

She began to pace around the living room, worried. "Koko!" she cried out as she thought of her cat that was sleeping in her room.

She ran into her room to get her cat and quickly shook him awake. "Hey you! Where's William?"

The cat mumbled groggily, "Huh? William?"

"Yeah! You were home the whole time, where did he go?!"

The cat shrugged, " I was asleep the whole time."

The scowled and tossed her lazy cat on the bed. " You're. you. why weren't you awake?! You're nocturnal!"

The cat pouted, "Sorrie."

Aoide sighed and put her head in her hands.

"Wait." Koko mumbled to himself, " I think I remember the phone ringing. I thought it was apart of my dreams, but now that I think of it, I think it was real."

"Okay." Aoide dragged out slowly, "Someone called William and he left. Maybe, it was just some company business. yeah, well, maybe he's all tied up right now."

~~~

***Will and Nemi screamed and cried out as these dark bluish-green worms came from underneath them and began to pull them into the ground. Nemi quickly leaped up, tried to stomp on the worms, and dashed off from the area as fast as he could with Will in his arms. However the worms were intelligent and created a wall that circled around them. Nemi skillfully kicked and destroyed any of the elongated worms that tried to grab hold of Will. But even as skillful as he was, he couldn't stop the creature from closing in. Eventually it covered the top, which kept Nemi from jumping out. Nemi ducked down and curled into a ball, trying to keep Will safely hidden in the confines of his jacket.

Then the worms caved in and wrapped itself around Will and Nemi. Nemiphoren howled in pain as they wrapped themselves around his neck, face, arms and legs. The slimy coating on the worms burned worse than holy water and the worms began to work themselves into and under his skin. Nemiphoren bit down another scream and drew blood from his lip. As hard as Nemiphoren tried, his efforts were futile. Eventually they pried Will from his grasp.

Will screamed as the worms dragged him away from the demon soul. He desperately tried to reach out, but the worms would start to cover his arms and he'd draw back in pain. The worm's residue burned into his delicate innocent skin, leaving brownish spots and tattoo all over his body. Will tried to squirm away, but was always pulled back. Ultimately, he stopped trying to walk over to Nemiphoren and he started to try to get the creatures off of him. Their poison quickly weakened his sick body and started to crawl under his skin.

Will screamed and howled as he tried to pull them out. He sobbed at the physical and mental pain these creatures started to corrupt him with. ***

~~~ Outside, in the real world

Spike screamed as he suddenly woke up and began to back away from Angel. He started to back away from the group and backed himself into a corner.

"Nooo." He gave a tortured whimper. Then he clutched his head, trying to shake whatever was in his mind.

Then he lashed out and shoved Buffy backwards as she tried to walked towards him. "Get away. get away, burns. It burns!"

He started to scratched at the scabs and scars on his arms and legs, he frantically tore off the lower portion of his pants and scraped his legs until they were raw. "They're all over me!" He cried out with fevered, frantic eyes. "They're in me! Get them out! It hurts. it hurts. it hurts."

Spike ranted and raved. Then he clutched his hair and screamed as he writhed on the ground. Then he stopped and looked at his arm, the brownish spots and striped tattoos seemed to move in front of his insane eyes. "It's here." He said to himself as he started at his wrist. "It started here. I can stop it, I can stop it, it'll stop if I get rid of where it started. right, and it'll all go away." Spike tried to convince himself.

Then he took his left wrist and bit down as hard as he could. He whimpered at the pain, but he tried to bite harder. Buffy screamed in horror at what he was doing. "Spike! Stop it, you're hurting yourself." Dawn whimpered and back away and hugged Giles as hard as she could.

Angel finally took hold of the situation and pulled Spike's wrist out of his mouth. He suddenly felt sick when he saw that a portion of Spike's wrist was gone and that Spike was bleeding profusely all over the ground. Spike began to choke and spit out the piece of his own flesh that he had bitten off.

At the gruesome site, Fred hurried to the bathroom and threw up.

Then Spike began to stare at the wound with utter fascination, which suddenly changed to angry disappointment, "It's still there!" He yelled out. Then Spike took his right hand and began to pull at the bleeding muscle and skin around the wound. "It's still there. Got to get rid of it. rid of it. rid of it."

Angel swore under his breath as he saw his grandchilde began to begin to worsen the wound. He quickly grabbed Spike's right wrist and pulled it away. It was now covered with Spike's warm blood. The demon within Angel screamed with pleasure, urging Angel to drink away Spike's blood.

Spike began to laugh madly as he watched Angel's inner turmoil. Suddenly he took his left wrist and smeared his blood all over Angel's mouth. "It smells sooo good doesn't it Angel? You want it. I want it. Kill me, please kill me. It hurts so much. You know you want it. So take it! Take it dammit!"

Spike was now shrieking at Angel, desperate to get his grandsire to stop the pain. It was burning him from the inside out, it ate away at his very being at the moment. This 'thing' sadistically tore away at his mindscape leaving him hollow. Angel viciously roared and shoved Spike away and quickly retreated to the bathroom to wipe away Spike's blood at his mouth. Thankfully, Lorne wasn't as stunned as the others and he quickly grabbed the first aid kit. He ordered Wesley and Giles to hold Spike down as he wrapped his wrists with gauze. During this whole time, Spike was really out of it. He looked around at the people surrounding him in a detached way. He swayed his head a little, like he was listened to some strange music in his head.

Then Buffy walked over and sat in front of him. "Spike" She said in a calm and soft tone. "Calm down, I'm not here to hurt you."

Spike looked straight into Buffy's eyes and straight into her soul. This caused her to blink a few times, trying to ward off his affects on her. She took a deep breath and resumed talking to him.

"Spike, you can trust me." He gave her a slightly confused look as he tilted his head a little. Then he there was a glimmer of hope behind his eyes and he smiled.

Buffy smiled back. "Yeah, that's it." She took her right hand and put it on his non-scarred cheek. He closed his eyes and smiled like he was in utter bliss, then he slowly opened his eyes again. He looked down and his hands cupped together, holding some imaginary object and he motioned for Buffy to also cup her hands. He delicately placed the imaginary object in her hands and smiled at her with immense happiness.

*** Will imagined was looking at Buffy again. She was being so kind to him and she told him to trust her, so he did. He looked down into his cupped hands and saw the glass heart with a few cracks in it and held it up to Buffy. She smiled at him and took his glass heart into her hands.***

Buffy looked down at her cupped hands, not sure what he had given her or what it mean to him symbolically. She look up at him and gave him a confused look; only to realize that his eyes were distant again.

*** Unknown to Will, at that moment, the creature in his body twisted the world around him. Will looked at Buffy again, she was smiling at his glass heart. It wasn't a kind smile, it was dark and malicious. He suddenly wanted to take his glass heart back. But, before he could, she complete crushed it in her hands.***

Spike gave a tortured scream as he as he looked at Buffy with betrayal in his eyes. He quickly scooped up whatever imaginary thing he had given her and took it back. Then he looked at his cupped and watched it slip through his fingers.

*** Will sobbed as the tiny glass shards that used to be his heart fell through his fingers and one by one fell to the floor.***

Spike was crying painfully now, his tears came pouring down his face and fell on the cold tile floor underneath him.

Buffy looked at Spike with much confusion. "What happened?"

Spike sobbed and backed away from her. "No..please noo.how could you? I trusted you."

He returned to his spot in the corner and sat in the pool of blood he had left earlier. He made a soft whimpering sound as he rocked back and forth.

~~~

Lorne worried his bottom lip as he studied Spike's behavior. 'he's absolutely insane. *sigh* we should have listen to Michael."

Then Lorne got an idea. He touched Buffy's shoulder, "I'm going to try to get him to sing something, and maybe I can read him."

Buffy nodded and allowed him to walk over to Spike.

"Spike?" Lorne said as he watched the rocking figure. Finally after a few long seconds, Spike's tear streaked face looked at Lorne.

Lorne sighed again and proceeded. "Spike, I want you sing something for me. I believe it can help tell us what's wrong. We can help you. Trust me."

Spike looked away and started at the wall with much interest and then he started to laugh.

Lorne raised and eyebrow, "Are you okay?"

Spike's laugh became higher pitched and finally he let out a blood-curdling scream. Lorne stumbled back while covering his ears, everyone else had done the same. Angel and Fred rushed out of the bathroom to see what happened. Dawn hugged Willow and whimpered.

Then Spike ceased his screaming and resumed his insane laughter. Soon, from his laughing came a few choked sobs. Every time someone approached him he would back away and start laughing again or he would try to bite and claw at them. But it got worse, soon, he started to take the objects closest him and throw them at the group. They hadn't expect him to throw the vase at anyone, but now, poor Gunn was unconscious and bleeding from the cut on his head.

Finally Giles couldn't take it anymore as he ducked one of the flying projectiles. "Cordy! Do you still have some of that sleeping potion?!"

"Yes!" Cordy yelled back.

"Hurry and inject him with some!"

Cordy filled another syringe with the sleeping potion and ducked a few of the flying objects, but Spike's dazed state hadn't allow him to realize what she was doing until he felt her stab the needle into his arm. Within seconds, the potion took effect and Spike was completely unconscious.

~~~

The group eventually walked out of the room, but kept the door open to keep an eye on Spike. Willow was the first to speak. "We need to find a way into his mind, so we can try to fix whatever is making him c-crazy."

Gile looked away guiltily, "I shouldn't have ever done that exorcism spell."

Anya patted Gile's back, "you would have never known that this would have happened."

Buffy cut in, "You guys, focus, we don't know when he'll wake up, so we have to move as fast as we can."

Wesley raised his hand.

"Yes?" Buffy inquired.

"I-I have a spell, it's in one of the books I keep, it allows people to enter a person's mind and see what's wrong with him. It was an old way that medicine men used to cure some of the mentally ill."

Willow clapped her hands together, "That's perfect. Lets get the ingredients! Come on, Hurry!"

The group nodded as they followed Wesley into his library.

The only people who didn't go were Buffy and Dawn.

Buffy quietly returned to the room that Spike was in and watched his sleeping figure on the cold ground. Dawn also came in behind Buffy and stood there looking at him. Finally, both snapped out of their trance and Buffy took the comforter from the bed and covered him with it. She sat on the ground near him with her back leaning on the side of the bed.

Dawn took a seat in a chair that was behind Buffy.

(flashback)

Buffy sniffled as she told Xander and Willow about her and Spike's 'unhealthy' relationship. It was about three hours go since she saw Spike at her doorstep. She had finally broken down and told her friend the real reason why Spike had gotten aggressive with her in the bathroom. She could feel a weight lifted off her shoulders as she told her friends how he made he feel alive and how she kept using him and making him think that she loved him back. Eventually, her sudden break-up with him made him unstable, which led to bathroom incident.

Eventually the conversation wound down to Willow asking her, "Are you in love with him? Do you hate him?"

Buffy shook her head. "I don't know. I don't hate him, it was partially my fault. I kept telling myself that I didn't love him. but after he left, god, it was so lonely. It still is. I don't know why. I can't love him."

Xander sighed and nodded. Buffy looked at him in surprise, " I thought you were totally against Spike."

Xander shook his head, "I have no idea anymore. I hate him for what he tried to do to you. But a part of me understands. And I've always had an inkling for the fact that you two were involved, I just didn't want to see it."

Willow gave him a strange look. "Wait, this is Spike you're talking about, you know, the guy that had sex with your ex-fiance. always made fun of you."

Xander shook his head. "Wills, you know that video we saw? I turns out that you accidentally hit the record button. I went back and. I found out they didn't do anything.They stopped, both of them. I mean, how else do you explain how they were all dressed and stuff when we got there? We only saw them starting to . make out when we left the house. It took us about 10 minutes to get to the Magic Box at the speed we were going. Knowing Anya from experience, she can't orgasm that fast, no matter how drunk or horny. you do the math."

"But why didn't they tell us?!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Seeing how mad we were, would we have believed them?"

Buffy looked down, suddenly feeling somewhat ashamed.

Willow smiled tentatively at Xander, "Geez Xan? How'd you get so smart?"

"When I realized that the only way for Anya and I to work out, I had to grow up." He said and then gave Willow a small tired smile.

Buffy stood up and put on her jacket.

"Where are you going Buffy?" Willow asked.

"To apologize." Buffy whispered. Willow and Xander nodded and she quickly left the house.

Buffy was walking before, but the excitement in her caused her to run as fast as she could towards Spike's crypt. She quickly flung the door open and called out to Spike. But all she found was poor old Clem, who almost got a heart-attack.

"Clem? Where's Spike?" Buffy asked, confused.

"Isn't he in Africa?"

"You mean he's not here?!"

Clem shook his head. If he'd back in town, I haven't seen him yet."

Buffy sighed and nodded. "Sorry about that. If he come back.can you tell him to see me? I need to talk to him."

Clem nodded. "Alright Slayer. I'll be sure to do that."

Buffy searched around Sunnydale for the rest of the night, but she never found Spike. For three weeks, she had searched every inch of Sunnydale, but there was no sign of him. No one had seen him except for her and Xander. Spike had left again. and probably permanently this time.

After that, she would fall asleep while clutching his leather duster that she never returned to him. The smell of him and his smokes were fading away after a year. Then she had put it in a box, in hopes to retain that smell. But eventually, she gave in to temptation and she would take out the duster again and fall asleep with it.

~~~

Buffy hadn't realized that she started to cry until Dawn placed a tissue box next to her. Then Buffy looked at Dawn, her eyes asking her younger sister to leave her for a second. Dawn nodded and left the room, knowing that Buffy needed to deal with this. Buffy ran her finger along Spike's X- shaped scar and then the smaller scars on his face.

She began to cry even harder as she did this, "Oh god," she whispered. "What have I done to him.?"

Cont.