Buffy looked around the room trying to focus on anything but the doctor standing in front of her. Spike lowered his head playing with the edge of the bedspread.

Dana was persistent, "Well, is anyone going to answer my question? Do you two really think that you can go on without having this discussion. Because I don't, that one night seems to be the crux of," She looked at Buffy then, " 'both' of your problems."

Spike looked up and watched Buffy's face, she flushed slightly, "I'm not the one...."
Her voice faded even she knew it was a lame argument, turning to Spike, "Do you want to talk about it?" Her words were soft.

"Do you?" He answered her question with a question.

"Yes, she really does and so do you." Dana answered for Buffy as she opened her ever present notebook, "I'll even start for both of you."

Buffy settled herself comfortably on the bed next to Spike careful to not touch him. He pulled a pillow into his lap and hugged it tightly.

"First off, Buffy, Spike's attack left you terrified and it wasn't just the physical fear?" Dana asked seriously.

"I was scared, I was hurt and ......" Buffy started her voice trembling.

Spike's face turned even paler if that was possible, as he listened to her.

"What hurt you the most? When he pushed you down on the floor or.....after you subdued him?"

"I knew that I could....take him physically even though I was scared. What hurt more was..." She stopped again and took a deep breath then continued in an almost whisper, "Trust....the trust was gone. He said he loved me....and." Her voice broke and she couldn't finish the sentence.


"See thats why...you shouldn't make her talk about this." Spike pleaded, his eyes wet with unshed tears. His heart aching for Buffy,

Dana held up her hand to Spike, "Your turn is next, right now, just listen." She turned back to Buffy, "Are you okay?"

Buffy nodded her head. Dana took this as a sign to continue, "He said he loved you, but then he tried to do this horrible thing to you. Why?"

"Because I didn't love him....I used him, led him on, we both treated each other badly, he
knew what he did was wrong..." Buffy wiped at her eyes with the back of her hands.

"Do you think he wanted to hurt you?" Dana asked softly.

"No, it wasn't about hurting me, it was about us hurting each other. I know that now, that's why I forgave him." Buffy looked into Spike's eyes, "I forgave you." Tears ran down her cheeks.

"But you shou..." Spike started.

Dana cut him off quickly, "Before we get into should and shouldn't let me ask you some questions about that night." She took some tissue from the box by the bed and handed it to Buffy.

Spike sighed as he watched Buffy wiping her tearstained face "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked her, his eyes taking in her every movement.

Dana watched in fascination it seemed that when they were comforting each other they dissappeared into their own world as if no one else mattered. Somewhere under the rubble of what they had done to each other was a loving caring relationship, whether they realized it or not.

"I'm okay...it's just hard...getting it all out." Buffy sniffled, "Go ahead it's your turn."

Spike turned back to Dana, "Fine, ask away."


"When you went to Buffy's that night, did you go there with the intent to hurt her, to attack her like that?"

"No...I went to apologize and as you can see I messed that up well and proper." He sighed.

"But you didn't want to hurt her, did you?" The doctor prodded.

"No, I wanted to make her feel the same way I did. I went too far. She should have staked me then and there." Spike looked at Buffy, "I don't know how you can say you forgive me."

"Spike.." Buffy moved closer to him.

"Buffy, let me finish Spike's questions and then you can respond, okay?" Dana smiled at the small blonde sitting across from her.

"Okay." Buffy nodded her head.

"Spike. do you think you would ever try to hurt Buffy like that again?"

Spike stood up anger rising, "NO! I would never hurt her like that."

Dana smiled at him, "You didn't mean to hurt her then and you would never hurt her like that again, if Buffy understands this, then why shouldn't she forgive you?"

"Because....she just shouldn't." Spike began to pace in front of the bed.

"Do you trust Buffy?"

"Of course I do." He muttered.

"Well then if she has decided to forgive you and you trust her, then it's an offense to her if you don't accept her forgiveness. And while you're at it, maybe both of you should think about forgiving yourselves." Dana stood and shut her notebook, "I'm going to leave you alone now, Buffy I think it's best if you keep this visit short. Please think about what you've both said tonight." She nodded at them as she left the room.

****

Spike sat down in the chair across from Buffy, "She's pushy innit she?" He nodded towards the door that Dana had left through.

Buffy nodded in agreement, "She is......but she's right. Spike this isn't all about you. Oh, yes - I know you have a past but I think you can get through that. But this thing that happened with me...you have to let it go. I have."

"I do trust you, you know." He ran a tired hand through his hair, "But I worry about your judgment on this one."

Buffy smiled at him, "Don't worry." Standing she took his hand, "Spike I need to say something else since we're doing true confessions."

"What?" He looked apprehensive.

"I need you to forgive me for all the hurtful things I did to you." She looked directly into his eyes.

"Buffy...pet. You didn't have to ask...there's nothing to forgive." Spike tried to smile, she looked so sweet sitting there, her warm hand on his.

"How about when I beat you up in outside the police station?" She asked softly.

"You were upset."

"It still wasn't right." Buffy squeezed his hand, "I better go now before Dr. Lavery comes back with that notebook of hers. We probably both have a lot to think about." She let go of his hand and turned to leave.

"You'll be back?" He called after her.

"Of course, and I'll bring Dawn if it's okay?"

"Sure, bring the Niblet round." He gave her a half smile and waved as he watched her go.

He sat alone in the small room wondering if he could trust what he had heard Buffy say,
could she really have forgiven him? All those others in his past....would their ghosts ever forgive him too?

TBC

***

Buffy stood outside the front door, rubbing her face to remove the tear stains, there was no reason for Dawn to know she had been crying. Talking to Spike tonight had been possibly the worst torture she had ever endured, but oddly enough now that it was over she felt better, lighter then she had felt in a long time. She put a smile on her face and
entered the house, "Dawn, I'm home."


Dawn bounced out of the kitchen a sandwich in her hand.

"You're eating again?" Buffy grinned at the dark haired girl.

"I'm a growing girl." Dawn smiled in return as she took a bite of her sandwich, "How is
Spike?" She mumbled through peanut butter and jelly.

"He's better, I think, you want to go see him tomorrow?" Buffy asked as she sat down on the couch.

"You mean it?" Dawn sat down beside her.

"Yes, he wants to see you. We'll go after lunch tomorrow."

"Good! I'm so glad he's feeling better." Dawn finished her sandwich and stood up
yawning, "I'm gonna go to bed now, see you in the morning." She leaned over and kissed Buffy's cheek.

"Night." Buffy replied as she lay on the couch thinking about her earlier visit to the clinic.
Spike loved her still.....she could tell just by listening to him, under all of his self loathing he still loved her.....and she.......she...."cared" for him. That was it, 'cared' it couldn't be more then that, because that other word, the 'L' word carried far too much responsibilty.
She was his friend, she was a good friend - right? She was helping him...She closed her eyes as the earlier feeling of lightness was replaced by something much heavier...
She sat up in the bed, so much for feeling better, she should know better then to ever think so much - it only led to confusion when it came to her feelings for a certain vampire.

*******
Spike sat in the chair by the bed his legs stretched out up on the bed, his mind full of questions. Buffy forgave him? It seemed a miracle but when he remembered the sincerity in her voice, the look in her eyes. Was it possible.....did she feel...more? Stupid, stupid, don't get your hopes up....

Dana lightly knocked on the door to his room before sticking her head in, "Spike, can we talk?'

He pulled his legs from the bed and sat up in the chair, "Of course, might as well wring as much out of me as you can tonight." He gave her a serious smile.

"Well, actually I thought that you might want to clean up, I was going to show you the shower room and then we can talk, okay?" Dana smiled at him.

"That would be good, nice hot shower." He stood and followed her down the hall to
large room filled with shelves of fluffy towels and several shower stalls.

"When you get done, just come back to your room, I'll be there." She instructed him before leaving the room.

Spike undressed and stepped into a shower stall, turning on the water he adjusted the temperature until the steam filled the room, the hot water gently pelting his back. He couldn't remember the last time he had actually showered, seemed like a lifetime...or maybe just a 'soul' ago. So much has changed.....he thought as he opened the small bottle of shampoo on the small shelf in the shower and lathered his hair, he could tell it needed to be cut and he probably needed a dye job too. Buffy believed he could get through this......he would - for her he thought with a smile. A small voice creeped into his head.....but you need to do it for you.....she can't be counted on... NO! he wasn't going to let 'them' get to him. He quickly rinsed his hair and turned off the water, toweling off he looked at his clothes lying on the floor and shook his head, he wanted something clean, he needed clean.

Spike wrapped the towel around his waist and walked quickly down the hall to his room.
Dana was waiting for him, her mouth dropped open slightly when she saw his state of undress. Noticing the distressed look on his face, "Are you okay?," she asked as she stood.

"Umm....washed, I'm clean....washed it all away...." Spike shook his head trying to clear it, not now! Please...not now, he had been himself for a good part of the day, he didn't want to lose it now.

"Calm down, let's get you into some clean clothes and we'll talk," Dana found the bag that Buffy had brought and pulled out a pair of boxers, she also found a new gown in the drawer of the small dresser, "Here, step in the bathroom and put these on...can't have you running around in just a towel, it will distract my nurses." She smiled at him as she
opened the door to the small bathroom.

He stared blankly at her as he followed her instructions, the toilet was the only accessory in the small room. He sat down and began to pull on his boxers, "They aren't here, they aren't here." He chanted soflty as he put his arms through the sleeves of the gown.

Dana stood close to the door, "You okay in there?"

"I'm...okay." He stuttered as he stood and opened the door.

"Good, let's get you in the bed and we'll talk." Dana led him towards the bed and
helped to climb underneath the covers.

"Feeling better?" She asked as she opened her notebook once again.

"Some....seems like I have to fight myself to stay sane sometimes." He ran his hand through his hair.

"But you're getting better I can tell. I think part of that is the medicine I've been giving you. I'm going to give you some more tonight, see if it will help you sleep and keep the voices at bay, okay?"

"Fine." He nodded absently.

"I wanted to talk about what happened earlier... with Buffy?" She nodded her head at him, "How do you feel about that?"

"I....hated for her to have to remember that. It was so wrong..." Spike started chewing on his lip.

"It was hard for her...for both of you. But I think it's better now that its out in the open and
she did forgive you. You need to think about that, if Buffy forgave you then I think it's a sure bet that despite your past you can go on. It wasn't really you who did those things and you've fought that to become a better man. You need to think about that when the voices invade okay? Fight them as hard as you fought the monster, you can do it. I know you can, Buffy knows you can." She patted his arm, "I'm going to give you your meds now." She poured him a small glass of water and handed him two small tablets.

Spike took the tablets and swallowed them without argument, "I'll be back to check on you later. Tonight is my call night so I'll be here all night. Tomorrow I'd like you to meet Dr. Dawson, he's here on call when I'm not."

She smiled as she closed the door and left him alone with his thoughts. Spike closed his eyes hoping for sleep but it evaded him, he got out of bed, turned on the light and began to pace the room for what seemed like an hour before Dana stepped into the room, "Can't sleep?"

He turned to her, "No, doesn't seem that way."

"Do you play chess?" She asked leaning against the door.

"Not for a long time..but yeah I can play." He answered his forehead creasing with confusion, what did that have to do with anything?

"I'll go get the board and we'll play, maybe that will tire you out some and you can rest." She left the room and shortly returned with an old wood chess board with elegantly carved pieces.

Spike sat on the bed as she pulled the bed table between then and sat the board up on it, she took a seat on the other side. "It's a lovely board." Spike commented as he picked up the ebony king and held it in his hand.

"It was my grandfather's" She told him with a grin, "Do you want black or white?"

"Black of course for my black heart," He replied only half joking.

"My first rule in chess is that you can't talk like that, okay?" She replied quite seriously as she lined up the Ivory pieces in front of her.

"Okay, doctor. I'll keep the demeaning comments to myself." He told her as he lined up his own pieces.

"Now tell me about this Dawn person, Niblet as you call her?" She asked nonchalantly as she moved her first piece.

"What?" He asked as he moved his own piece.

"I want to know about her, you seem to care for her quite a bit. Might be easier if you loved her instead of Buffy." She carefully watched his expression.

Spike's eyes grew large, "She's sixteen years old! She's Buffy's little sister. I do love her but never like that!"

"What does age matter to you anyway, you're over a hundred years old." Dana moved her next piece.

"Niblet is like my sister, I took care of her when Buffy was gone....I promised....promised Buffy I would protect her." Spike made his next move, "Doesn't matter even if Dawn was older, Buffy's it for me."

"You love her that much?"

"Yes, got my soul back for her didn't I?" He rolled his eyes at her.

"Then there's another reason you should accept her forgiveness isn't it?" She smiled as she took one of his knights from the board.

"It's not quite as easy as all that." He frowned as he made his next move.

"It could be." She answered as she studied the board.

"I want to do it, I want to do it for her. But what if she can't, won't ever love me? Don't know if I can handle that....being 'just friends' with Buffy would be a different torture."
He then grunted triumphantly as he removed a white bishop from the board.

She moved another piece defensively, "I think I know the biggest part of your problem."

"And which of my problems did you choose as the biggest?" He asked sarcastically as
he moved another black piece on the board.

"You are scared of being sane, you're scared to let go of the guilt, those voices are a weird kind of comfort to you, you can use them as the reason why Buffy doesn't return your feelings, instead of putting that behind you and trying for an honest relationship with her. You think that being crazy is a better alternative to being without her." She looked him in the eye.


His eyes flashed with anger -"You know I think I'm ready for bed now." He pushed the table away and lie down.

"Okay, I'll just pick the board up and set it over here, "She carried the board to the dresser, "We'll finish the game "and" the discussion tomorrow." She turned off the light on her way out of the room.


As he lay in the bed he thought about Dr. Lavery's words, "Crazy with Buffy being here or sane without her, which was better?"

TBC

"Hello, Mr. Spikely." Nurse Sherry came into the room, "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Alright I suppose." Spike sat up on the edge of the bed as the nurse pulled fresh bedding from the small closet.

I'm going to change your sheets now, okay?" She smiled at him as he moved to the chair. "This isn't any of my business, I know. But I couldn't help but notice your hair."

"My hair?" He raised his hand to head.

"Yes sir, I know you can't see it, no mirrors in here. But ...um...you bleach it right?"
She fluffed the pillow as she put a new case on it.

"Yes.....roots, my roots are bad? I know the hair is grown quite a bit." He frowned, would have been nice if someone had told him before.

"Well, yes. But my sister Sunni, she could come in and fix that for you. She's just finished beauticians school and I know she could do your roots for you. She does my hair." Sherry smiled as she touched her soft curls.

"It's a lovely do, when can she come in?" Spike asked with a smile.

"I'll call her later, bet she could do it tonight when she leaves the shop." Sherry finished the bed and turned to leave.

"Thanks." Spike called after her.

"Your welcome." Sherry replied, "Dr. Dawson will be in shortly to see you."

"The doctor that Dr. Lavery mentioned?"

"Yes, he and Dr. Lavery alternate call time. I'll see you later." Sherry waved as she left the room.

A short time later there was a knock on the door and a middle aged man with salt and pepper hair stepped into the room, "Mr. Spikely, I'm Dr. Dawson." He extended his hand to Spike who grasped it in a firm shake. "Dana...Dr. Lavery has filled me in on your special case."

Spike nodded at him, "Everything?"

"Yes, everything." Dr. Dawson nodded.

"And you beleived her?"

"Dana had an experience in LA that made her believe in lots of strange things, but me, hey I'm from Sunnydale and even though most people here turn their head - I've learned to accept just about anything." Dr. Dawson grinned, "So you're story - not so hard to believe. Dana is your primary doctor but I did want to introduce myself and if I can help in anyway, let me know." Spike watched as the doctor left the room, couldn't put his finger on it but there was something about the man that didn't sit well with him.

Dr. Dawson went back to his office nodding at Dana as he met her in the hallway. She may trust her vampire, but he didn't, tonight when he was on call, the so called Mr. Spikely would be in restraints. Dana didn't know what a valuable specimen she had here, but he did not plan on letting this opportunity pass.

Dr. Lavery soon entered the room, "Up for an early round of chess, ready to finish that game?" She asked as she handed him a warm mug.

"Actually I've been thinking, that it really is time for me to go." He sighed.

"Oh...so last night, I hit too close to home. Best to run away instead of face it?" She stood beside the dresser looking at the chess game.

"No... well..." Spike shook his head trying to come up with an argument.

"Anyway Buffy really wants you to stay a bit and she is bringing Dawn tonight." Dana turned towards Spike, "And Sherry says her sister is coming to do your hair." She smiled at him.

"Oh yeah. Guess I better stick around at that." He ran his hands through the unruly curls.

"So, shall we talk or play?" She pulled the other chair next to his.

"Rather play later if I can't sleep tonight." Spike ran his hands over his face, "Guess we'll talk."

"Good. Now where were we last night?" Oh...right here." She pulled out the notebook.

"Buffy...I think we were discussing your using your instability as an excuse to not have to actually deal honestly with her."

"Yeah.." Spike frowned, "I think that's where we were."

"Does everything depend on her acceptance of you?" Dana asked her expression serious.

"Well.....I want her approval that's true. Doesn't seem like there is much reason to go through all of this if she hates me." He was quiet for a moment, "You don't think she'll ever really care for me? His words were soft and vulnerable.

" I think your getting better, it needs to be for you first." Dana smiled at him and patted his arm, "As for Buffy, I think she's never really had a great romantic experience from the little bit she told me. Everyone she loves seems to leave her."

Spike thought about her words, "I guess I've never thought I was worth getting better for."

"You are." Dana smiled again.

He squirmed in the chair uncomfortably, "Buffy has rotten luck cause she always chooses the wrong bloke."

"Except you?" Dana questioned.

"Well, I wanted to think I was the right one. But let's face it our relationship as it was - was not about romance, as much as I wanted it to be. It was about raw emotions, Buffy needed to feel, I helped with that. And then......after I'd done my best to show her that "I" was the only one for her....I betrayed her too. I'd take back that night in a second if I could."

"Even though it pushed you into your 'soul search'?" Dana was writing in her notebook again, "I mean I have to say despite everything that's happened I think you're in a much better position with Buffy then you were before."

"Suppose so." He nodded.

"So do you think it's possible for you to go on strictly for 'you'?"

"I think I might be ready to try." Spike gave her a half smile.

'Good enough for now. I'll talk to you later." Dana stood and smiled as she left the room.

Spike ventured out into the tv room and was delighted to find an older lady there watching Passions. They spent the next two hours discussing the show and it's plots. The conversation brought back the memory of Joyce discussing the show as they sat in his crypt together.

"Oh, there you are, Mr. Spikely." Sherry entered the lounge.

"Just Spike." He answered.

"Okay, Spike. My sister got off early and she's come to do your hair if that's okay." The nurse took him back to his room where a girl with the same soft curls stood holding various grooming implements and bleach. "This is Sunni."

"Nice to meet you." Sunni held out her free hand, "Sherry said you needed some hair help."

"I appreciate the help." He smiled at the girl and she beamed.

"Lets go in the bathroom and get started." She led him to the small room.

An hour later he emerged with a trim and and no roots. "I left it a little long cause I liked the curls." Sunni giggled as Sherry surveyed her work.

"I like it." Sherry told him, "If you want you can run down to the shower room and look in the mirror there."

"I trust you. I'll look later." Spike smiled at the women, "Thanks."

"No problem. Here's my card." Sunni flashed a grin at him as she and Sherry walked out.

Spike smiled to himself as he heard the younger sister say, "You were right, he's cute!"

****

"You ready?" Buffy called upstairs to once more, "This is just Spike not the Miss America pageant, he doesn't care what you wear."

Dawn frowned as she entered the living room, "I haven't seen him for awhile, I wanted to look right."

"You look fine. Let's go."

The sisters arrived at the clinic with a bag of goodies for Spike. Dawn had insisted on bringing some spicy wings for him to snack on along with his usual liquid nourishment. He could smell them as soon as the girls hit the hallway to his room, he stood up and went to his door to investigate. He was soon attacked by Dawn as she launched herself at him embracing him in a tight hug, "Spike!!" She squealed as he picked her up and twirled her around.

"Niblet!" He replied just as enthusiatically.

Buffy shook her head and laughed at the site of Spike, who was thankfully wearing boxers, his gown flowing behind him as she twirled Dawn who appeared to be all legs and flowing hair. "If you sit her down, you can have what's in the bag."
She waved the bag in front of him.

"Ah...is that really wings?" He asked gently setting Dawn down on her feet.

"Yes, you can thank Dawn for them." She handed him the bag with a large smile.

Spike took the bag and sat down on the edge of the bed pulling the table in front of him. He opened the bag slowly,
enjoying the aroma.

"Just open them Spike!" Dawn told impatiently.

"Just wanted to savor the scent, been a while since I've had these." He fully opened the bag then and removed
a wing, he bit into it and closed his eyes, "Mmmm delicious."

"Told Buffy you'd like them." Dawn smirked at her sister as Spike dove wholeheartedly into the wings.

"Those were wonderful!" He sighed when he finished.

"Wait a minute, you've got a bit of sauce on your chin." Buffy leaned over and using a tissue scrubbed at his chin, she then ran her hand through his hair, "And the hair! I like it."

Dawn watched her sister carefully, was she actually seeing Buffy be caring towards Spike?

"Sherry, the nurse, her sister Sunni came in and did it for me. Bit longer then usual, but it's okay?" He asked
suddenly worried about it.

"Yeah, it looks really good." Dawn assured him as he watched Spike watch Buffy.

"I like it a little longer." Buffy smiled at him.

"So, Niblet how are you?" Spike turned his attention towards the younger Summer's girl.

"I'm great. School's started and we're in the new school, " Dawn paused, "But I guess you knew that, huh?"

"Yeah, it's okay?" Spike smiled, "Made any new friends? Maybe someone to replace Janice, she seems to steer you towards trouble."

Dawn rolled her eyes at him, "Yes as a matter of fact, I've met some new people, unfortunately we were being terrorized at the time."

"Good ole' Sunnydale High." Buffy shook her head.

Dawn and Spike talked a bit longer and she promised to come back to visit as soon as Buffy would let her. "Soon, I promise." Buffy told her as they stood to leave. She put her hand on Spike's, "I'll be back tomorrow."

"Thanks for letting her come." Spike told her as they turned to leave.

"No problem, see you soon." Buffy and Dawn waved as they left the room.

"Buffy." Dana called when she saw her leaving Spike's room.

"Yes?" Buffy answered.

"Just wanted to say hello. Let you know that I think we are making real progress with Spike. I would like to talk to you some more when you can." Dana turned to Dawn, "You must be Dawn?"

"Yes, that's me." Dawn smiled.

" This is Dr. Lavery." Buffy introduced Dana.

"It's nice to meet you, Dawn. Spike talks alot about you, he thinks alot of you." Dana shook Dawn's hand, "I guess I better go check on the patient. Buffy, I'll talk to you soon?"

"Sure." Buffy nodded.

"The doctor seems nice, and she's pretty too." Dawn commented as they walked out of the clinic.

'Yes she is nice, and I guess she is pretty, I really hadn't noticed." Buffy replied with a slight frown.
****

"Spike, ready to finish the game?"

"Sure, Doc." He answered as he watched her bring the board over and set it on the table between them.

" Why don't you call me Dana?" She smiled, "Did you think about our conversation from earlier, about getting well for you?" She asked as she moved her chess piece.

"Yeah, some. I think you're probably right, need to do it for me and then worry about the whole Buffy thing. But it's not that easy." He contemplated a moment before moving his next piece.

"I met Dawn, she seems sweet."

"Yeah, Niblet is a great girl. Been through a lot, been my friend when no one else was." Spike nodded.

The rest of the conversation was mostly Dawn stories from the summer without Buffy. He told Dana of how they
would sneak out and go for walks when she needed to talk or when she wanted ice cream at one a.m., he would go get it for her. How mostly he had been there when she cried about missing her sister, mostly because he missed her too.

The game finished and Dana yawned, "Time for me to go, Dr. Dawson will be here tonight if you need anything. Goodnight, Spike."

"Goodnight, Dana." He called out as she closed the door.

Dr. Dawson watched as Dana walked to her car. When she was safely out of the parking lot, he called George an aid to meet him in Spike's room. "Mr. Spikely?" Dr. Dawson called out as he turned on Spike's light.

"Yes?" Spike sat up in the bed.

Dr. Dawson nodded towards the large aid, "George, the restraints, please?"


TBC

"What's going on?" Spike asked as he sat up better in the bed.

George took one hand firmly and clasped the leather strap tightly around it. Dr. Dawson helped him with the other arm. Spike bucked but was no match for the large aide, the chip protected the man, he watched helplessly as George secured each leg.

"Eh...what do you need those for?" Spike was angry now.

Dr. Dawson stepped forward again, "Mr. Spikely, I've read Dr. Lavery's notes about you, your chip is of great interest to me. I'd like to run some tests."

"You could have just asked instead of trussing me up! What kind of tests?" His eyes flashed at the doctor.

"Just some x rays, EEG etc. Maybe some blood work." Dr. Dawson explained calmly,"And quite honestly, I'm not as trusting of you as others seem to be."

"Dana didn't mention tests." Spike replied frowning.

"She's not aware that I'm running them. But I'm sure my data will prove to be interesting enough that she'll agree with my decisions. Your chip might be a clue on helping some very disturbed people. If I can get a good look at it." Dr. Dawson opened the door to the room, "George, lets roll him down to the x-ray room."

George dutifully released the brakes on the bed and began rolling it out of the room.

"Wait a minute!" Spike called out loudly as the bed left the safety of his room.

"Mr. Spikely you will kindly refrain from causing a scene. I can administer anesthesia if you would rather, you could sleep through the tests." His voice was dark and ominous.

Spike calmed quickly, he knew he wanted to be awake for the tests. He clamped his mouth shut, his jaw tightening as he was wheeled down the hallway. Doctor Dawson flipped on the light in X-ray and began to position Spike as he moved the xray over his head. He and George ducked behind wall with a small window in it and he shot the xray, coming out to reposition Spike two more times. He put the film in the processor and moved Spike to another room for more tests on his brain waves.

He left Spike in the room as he went to check the xrays. George kept a watchful eye on the restrained vampire. Spike was just relieved that the tests weren't painful, so far the only irritation to him was where the tight leather straps had rubbed his wrists and ankles raw.

"Mr. Spikely, I'm sure you have checked into this, but I need to know, have you tried to have this chip removed?" Dr. Dawson pulled a chair close to the bed.

"Once, but it's no good. The doc said he couldn't remove it without killing me or leaving my brain mush." Spike replied suspiciously, "Why?"

"I think it would do my research a lot of good to actually have that chip in hand to look at and study." Dr. Dawson pulled out his own notebook and jotted down something, "This doctor, he was sure the chip was impossible to remove without harm to you?"

"Yeah...that's what he said and he had no reason to lie. Are you done with me now?"
Spike spit the last part out.

"Yes, I am for now." The doctor stood to leave, "George, you can put him back in his room and loosen the restraints a little."

The aide rolled Spike back to his room and took care when loosening the straps so that Spike could move a bit more comfortably. He lay back on the bed wondering what was going to happen next, he was sure Dr. Dawson wasn't through with him. Part of him was angry with the man and part of him seemed resigned that maybe he deserved the treatment he had recieved tonight.

Early the next morning, Dana walked into the room smiling, the smile quickly left her lips as she saw the restraints on Spike's arms and legs. "What happened? Did you have an episode last night? No one called me."

"Dr. Dawson wanted some tests." Spike nodded at the leather straps, "He isn't quite as
trusting as you are."

"He what?" Dana began to unbuckle the restraints, "I'm sorry, I had no idea. I'll speak to him about this 'now'. I know this is bad, please don't leave until I talk to him." She shook her head at the raw marks on Spike's wrists, frowning she left the room.

Spike began to pace the room as much as he hated to admit it, it was helping him to be here, and he hated to leave and possibly go back to where he was. He sighed as he realized the desperateness of his situation, he had no place to go. After a few moments he decided to follow Dana he wanted to hear the rest of Dawson's plan for him.

"Joseph!" Dana called down the hall as she glimpsed Dr. Dawson walking out of his office, "I need to speak to you."

"Dana, I was coming to find you. I would like to discuss your patient, Mr. Spikely." He smiled at her as if nothing was wrong.

"Good, that's exactly who I want to discuss." She gave him a tightlipped smile as she followed him back into his office, "What were you doing with Spike last night?" Her voice was deadly calm.

"I wanted to run some tests, frankly I knew you wouldn't approve, Dana. And since when do you call patients by their first name? Cozy with him aren't you?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Are you questioning my proffesionalism?" She shot back.

"Of course not. I would like for you to listen to my findings though. Would you please give me that much?" He asked folding his hands together on his desk.

"Fine. Expliain away."

"I read your notes about his chip. I think that given the right circumstances this chip might help some of our more dangerous patients, help control their irrational behavior. I did some xrays last night, the chip is in a dangerous spot, but I think I could remove it, study it, maybe help others with the knowledge." He smiled at her, "See I wasn't doing anything nefarious, just trying to help my research."

"You didn't have to restrain him." She answered angrily.

"I wasn't sure he was as receptive to me as he is to you."

"Well as much as I understand your wanting the chip as a research tool, I'm afraid it's impossible. It's already been documented that the chip can't be removed without killing him or leaving him with severe brain damage. I'm sorry." Dana stood up to leave.

"As I said I think I could remove it." Dr. Dawson now stood.

"You 'think' you could, but you aren't sure. Thats not very good odds for my patient, as it stands the chip isn't hurting him, it's not worth the risk to remove it."

Dr. Dawson's voice rose, " 'Your' patient is a vampire, even if I didn't save him, yet got the chip out, it would be worth it for research purposes."

"Tell that to him and those who care for him, he may not be 'human' in every sense of the word, but he is a man. You are not experimenting on my patient, in fact I would prefer your staying away from him." She turned and left the office slamming the door behind her, she ran into Spike standing by the door, "You heard?"

"Yeah, I did. It's okay, Dana. I mean really with all of the evil I've dished out, why shouldn't he feel that way? This is just proof of what I've tried to tell you - doesnt' matter what I do to prove myself, there are still going to be people who see me like he does - the majority of people will see me that way as a monster." Spike shook his head as they walked back to his room.

"So what - if some narrowminded people see you that way, you'll still know that you aren't that 'monster' and the people who count know that too." Dana gave him a sad smile,"Soon you'll be ready to leave here, we just need to find you a place, maybe a roomate who can help to make sure you're okay the first little while.


"Not so sure about that, I doubt Buffy has even mentioned this whole "help Spike" thing to her friends, Red and the Whelp probably don't even know I'm here. I don't think I have anywhere to go now." His voice was soft and emotional, "Do you mind leaving me alone for a bit?"


"Of course, I'll be back to check on you soon." Dana left him alone, she walked over to the nurses station where she was greeted by Buffy and Dawn, "Hello, I didnt' expect to see you this early on a Saturday morning."

"Dawn wanted to stop by for a visit and we're going shopping, she has a sleepover tonight." Buffy explained, "Is it okay to see him?"

Dana put her hand on Buffy's shoulder, "Actually I need to talk to you first." She led the two sisters to her office.

"Is Spike okay?" Buffy and Dawn asked in unison.

"He's...not feeling up to company now. He had a bad night, my colleague put him through some unneccesary tests on his chip and left Spike feeling quite vulnerable." Dana explained.

Buffy's voice rose slightly, "Unneccesary test? I thought you said he was safe here."

"He is. I spoke to Dr. Dawson, he is interested in Spike's chip but I think he now understands that he's to leave Spike alone. But Spike is feeling like no matter what he does people will see him as a 'thing'. I think he'll be able to leave soon with some suprevision the first little while. Do you have any idea's where he could go?" Dana asked knowing she was putting Buffy on the spot but needing the girl in front of her to admit the depth of her feelings for the vampire. If she was going to continue to suppress her feelings it did no good for her or Spike.

"He can live with us! We have a basement." Dawn offered as Buffy's mouth dropped open.

"Dawn....uh...that might not be a good idea." Buffy replied softly.

"She's right, Dawn. If Buffy isn't comfortable then it wouldn't be in Spike's best interest."
Dana told them evenly looking directly at the fidgeting blonde.

"I'm comfortable with Spike." Buffy declared defensively.

"He doesn't think so, he even said that he's sure you haven't told your friends that you've been helping him. Is that true?" Dana prodded.

"Well, no. But..." Buffy started.

"Buffy hasn't really seen Xander or Willow lately. But when she does, she'll tell them, right Buffy?" Dawn rushed to defend her sister.

Dana continued to look at Buffy waiting for her answer, finally she spoke, "Of course I'll tell them."

"Good," Dana stood up, "I think we'll check on Spike now, I hate for you to have wasted your trip here. And as for the place for Spike to stay, we still have a little time to sort that out."

Dawn walked beside Dana to Spike's room, Buffy followed behind lost in her thoughts.

Dana opened the door slowly, Spike was much as she had left him. Sitting on his bed, a worried look on his face, "Hey, you have company, is it okay to let them in?" She smiled at him.

He nodded when he heard Dawn's voice, "Hey Spike." She burst through the door, Buffy behind her. Dana left the trio alone as she went back to her office.

"The doctor said you might get to go home soon." Dawn smiled brightly.

"Yeah, gotta have a 'home' to go to though, Niblet." He wore a pained expression.

"Well..." Dawn started but was interrupted by Buffy.

"You okay? Dr. Lavery told us that the other Doctor ran some tests on you last night?" Buffy stepped closer and picked up his arm inspecting his raw wrist, "Did he do this?"

"He wasn't sure I'd cooperate." Spike replied with a bitter laugh, "S'ok, Dana talked to him, won't happen again." He gave her a half smile.

"Dana?" Buffy asked raising her eyebrow.

"Yeah, Doctor Lavery." Spike nodded.

"Yes, I know that's her first name. But why are you calling her that?" Buffy's voice was more then a little irritated now.

"She told me I could. We've been playing chess and it just kind of happened." He looked at her not sure if he was seeing what he thought he was seeing, was Buffy jealous?

****
Dr. Dawson walked by Spike's room. Stopping he peeked the small window, he was unnoticed as he watched the scene inside. "Enjoy his company while you can" .....he muttered as he walked away from the room.

TBC

Spike watched Buffy intently now. She couldn't be jealous, not Buffy.

"It just doesn't seem professional to call her by her first name to me? I mean how would it sound if Dawn called her teachers by their first names? Right, Dawn?" Buffy looked to her sister for support.

Dawn was watching Buffy as intently as Spike, a smile crept across her lips, Buffy was jealous. Well good, it was about time, "Buffy, I think it's kind of neat that Spike gets along that well with Dr. Lavery. I mean that means she's really working at making him better don't you think?"

Spike stole a look at Dawn who flashed him a grin. Niblet is in my corner, he grinned back at her, before turning back to Buffy, "She has really been good to me Buffy, very helpful."

Buffy looked shamefaced for a moment, "I know...I know she's been helpful. I just ...I just don't think it's a good idea to get that close to your doctor you know?"

"I understand." Spike nodded.

"Come on , Dawn. We better go if we are going to do the shopping thing before leave tonight." Buffy pulled on Dawn's sleeve, "Better tell Spike, bye."

"Okay, bye Spike." Dawn winked at him as she left with Buffy.

"Bye." He smiled as he watched his girls leave the room.

****

"Just a minute, Dawn. I want to talk to Dr. Lavery, you go on outside, this will just take a minute." Buffy scooted Dawn out the door and walked to Dana's office. Knocking brusquely she called out "Dr. Lavery?"

"Come on in, Buffy." Dana answered.

"I need to talk to you," Buffy walked over to the desk, "About Spike," She placed both hands palm down on the desk leaning over she began to question the doctor, " He said you've been playing chess? He calls you Dana now? Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Dana had to fight to hold in her smile, "Yes, Buffy. I believe it's a good idea. Spike needs a friend. He needs someone he can depend on, I'd like to be there for him. We enjoy each others company, a nice game of chess. And it's quite acceptable for friends to call each other by their first names."

"But you're his doctor." Buffy argued.

"Yes, I am and I'm really happy with his progress. As I said earlier I think he'll be ready to leave her soon, he just needs someone to make sure he's going to be okay for a while when he leaves. Buffy, you need to admit that you care for Spike, this being partially here for him isn't any good for either of you. He needs you to commit to your feelings, are you his friend? All the time, even around your other friends? Do you feel more than that? He's a good man he deserves at least to know where he really stands with you." Dana responded seriously.

"I....I..." Buffy fumbled for words as her mind wrapped around what Dana was telling her, soon she realized the implication of the Doctor's words, "You love him, don't you?" Buffy asked her voice soft and slightly hesitant as if she couldn't believe she'd asked.

"To be honest, I think I could." Dana stood, "He has a great capacity for love.....and loyalty." She stood up then, "I could love him but he would nev........" Her sentence was never finished as she watched Buffy's face go pale, "Buffy?"

Buffy walked backwards away from the desk, "You....you would be good for him, better then me, I'm sure." Tears began to slowly run down her cheeks, "He deserves that..
I hope you'll be happy." She turned from the office and ran down the hallway.

Dana ran after the petite blond, "Buffy! Buffy" She called after her, but Buffy was already out the door passing a confused Spike on her way out.

"What's wrong with her?" Spike asked Dana as she caught up to him, "She just passed me like I wasn't even there. She's crying."

"Spike, I think I made a mistake. I tried to make Buffy confront her feelings for you and it got twisted around. She thinks that I....that we.... I'm sorry." Dana rubbed her hand over her face.

"She thinks you and I are ....together?" Spike shook his head, "She seemed a bit jealous earlier when I called you by name, but I didn't think she seriously thought.."

"It's my fault, I told her you deserved someone committed to thier feelings, she asked I if loved you? I told her I could but.." Dana walked Spike back into his room closing the door.

"You said you could love me?" Spike sat down in the chair by the bed, "That's nice thought, but I ...."

"You love Buffy, I know. I was trying to tell her that you would never love me.....because you love her. But she ran out." Dana sighed, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Buffy's very good at running . Doesn't matter anyway,she's never going to commit to any feelings for me. " Spike went to the dresser to find his clothes, sighing he shrugged, "Maybe I should go after her?"

"No, Spike. I should go, I'll find her." Dana shook her apolgetically as she left the room.

***

Dr. Joseph Dawson watched as Dana exited the room, "Dana is everything okay?"

She looked up at him frowning, "I hope it will be. I need to leave for a little while do you think you could be on call for a little while?"

"Of course, I planned on doing some paperwork anyway." He smiled at her,then added "I do wish you would make sure that your special patient has his lunch before you leave, you made it clear you don't want me near him."

"I'm sorry, Joseph, it's just we don't agree on the ethical ramifications of what you want to do with him." Dana walked into her office and pulled a cup of blood from the small refrigerator.

Dr. Dawson watched her getting the blood, he absently patted his pants pocket, this was going better then planned. He 'accidentally' bumped into her spilling a small amount of the blood on to her jacket. "I'm sorry. Let me take the cup and warm it while you take care of that, then you can take it to your patient."

"Thank you." Dana replied as she reached for a bottle of peroxide and tissue to blot the stain clean.

"No problem." He smiled again as he carried the blood to the lounge. When he got there he took the small packet from his pocket and stirred the powder into the blood before sticking it in the microwave.

Dana arrived as the microwave beeped and she removed the mug of blood, "I really am sorry Joseph, I do understand your points, but I just can't go along with it."

"It's okay, Dana, I understand. We all have to follow our own personal codes of conduct." He patted her shoulder before he left the room.

She carried the warm mug to Spike's room.
"Spike, this is for you. Didn't think you and Dr. Dawson needed to see each other again." Dana offered him the mug, "I'm going to call Buffy's and see if she's there hopefully I can talk to her."

"Don't think it will do any good, she's made her choice." Spike took a drink from the mug.

"Well, it's worth a try." She smiled at him as she left the room.

Dr. Dawson cautiously walked down the hall as he watched Dana return to her office,
he watched as Spike tried to finish the mug of blood, the drug was already taking effect as he watched the vampire drowsily try to set the mug on the table dropping it and spilling what was left on bedsheets. He smiled as he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and dialed, "George, I need your help, now."

Spike realized too late that the blood was drugged, the last thing he saw before slipping into blackness was Dr. Dawson and George entering the room.

"Come on, Buffy!" Dana told the ringing phone as she dialed the third time, obviously, Buffy wasn't home. She would have to try again later. She better go tell Spike what was going on, maybe Buffy would be home soon.

"What do you think you're doing?" Dana called out as she entered Spike's room.

"I'm going to get that chip out one way or another, Dana. I'm sorry, I tried to talk this out sensibly with you. But you seem to have grown attached to this monster." Dr. Dawson
shoved Dana towards the bathroom.

She shoved back but he was stronger, shoving her in the small room he closed the door and put a chair under the door knob. "This will help so many it's worth the risks." He called to her from the other side as she pounded on the door.

"Where are we taking him, sir?" George asked as he threw Spike's limp body over his shoulder.

"Abandoned clinic on Hobson. I have some equipment stored there it will work perfectly."

Dana stopped her pounding on the door when she heard George's question, she put her ear to the door listening to Dr. Dawson's answer. She began to pound on the door again.

Nurse Sherry walked by Spike's room and heard the racket, rushing into the room she first noticed that Spike was gone and that it was Dr. Lavery's voice coming from the bathroom. She quickly moved the chair to let Dana out of the bathroom.

"What's happened, Dr.?" Sherry asked when she noticed the blood on the sheets her eyes widened, "Are you okay? Is Spike okay?"

"I'm fine. And I hope he is too. Did you see Dr. Dawson leaving the building?" Dana asked anxiously.

"No, but I just got here a little while ago." Sherry looked confused, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, but I need to make a phone call." Dana ran to her office, "Please be home, Buffy!" The phone was picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" Buffy's voice came over the line.

"Buffy, this is Dana Lavery."

"Dr. Lavery, I don't mean to be rude, but I really don't feel like taking right now." Buffy
twisted the phone cord as she spoke.

"I know and I'm sorry. But Spike needs your help." Dana quickly explained what had happened with Dr. Dawson,

"I'll be there in five minutes. You show me where the clinic is and I'll take care of the rest of it." Buffy hung up the phone and found her jacket she was out the door in a flash.

******
"Right there, George. Pull in the back entrance." Dr. Dawson instructed as they reached the clinic. "Now lets carry the patient inside."

George lifted Spike and carried him to the room Dr. Dawson had prepared. A gurney sat in the room with a small table of covered instruments lying beside it. Spike lay on the table under bright light his arms and legs tightly restrained.

"Shall we get started?" Dr. Dawson asked George as he uncoverd the instuments and removed a razor. He carefully shaved a small portion of Spike's head, the platinum curls falling on the dark floor.

Spike's eyes fluttered open and quickly closed again under the glare of the bright light.

"Ah....it's wearing off already, I wondered how long it would take." The doctor nodded.

"Where.....where are we?" Spike asked as he tried to move his hand.

"We are in an operating room of sorts, my own private operating room. I'm going to take out that pesky chip." Dr. Dawson smiled at Spike.

"But, the other doc said it couldn't be done."

"Yes, you told me that. I'm sure I can remove it though." He continued to smile.

"And you really don't care about the consequences to me, do you?" Spike asked although he already knew the answer.

"I'm getting that chip. If you happen to combust while I remove it or if you're brain is mush when I'm done - you're right, I truly don't care." Dr. Dawson began to hum softly as he reached for a scalpel.

****

TBC

Buffy rushed to her mom's car, she didn't drive often but this was an emergency. If anything happened to Spike it would be her fault. She had entrusted him to the clinic, truth be known she was a big reason why he had needed the clinic, needed Dr. Lavery. She shook her head to clear it, she would make sure he was okay and then she would leave him alone, maybe Dana could make him happy. I'm much to messed up to make anyone happy she thought as she squealed into the parking lot of the clinic,

Dana was waiting outside for Buffy when the squealing Jeep stopped a few feet from the back door.
She ran to the car and opened the passenger door, "Thanks for coming, Spike really needs your help."

Buffy nodded at her curtly, "Which way?"

"This way , it's on Hobson." Dana pointed left as they left the driveway, "Buffy, I'm sorry about earlier,
I wanted to explain.."

Buffy cut her off abruptly, "You don't have to expain, when we get there, your job is to help Spike, I'll take care of the doctor." Buffy's voice hardened when she said the last word.

"I just want to tell you." Dana started again.

"Dr. Lavery, I really don't want to hear it right now. I know how lousy I am with expressing myself, he deserves better." Buffy replied quietly her hands clinching the wheel, "I owe him this much...letting him be with someone that makes him happy."

"But I don't make him happy, Buffy. You do. I told you I could love Spike, but you didn't let me finish, he couldn't love me. He's a one woman man and you're the woman." Dana smiled at Buffy as the young woman turned to look at her.

"But I hurt him, even when I don't try." Buffy made the next right on to Hobson.

"And he hurt you, but its time for that to stop...now." Dana told her softly, "There it is, lets park at the back."

Buffy parked the jeep next to Dr. Dawson's car. Dana turned to her, "Okay, whats the plan?"

"You follow me in, you take care of Spike, I'll take out the bad guys." Buffy slowly opened the door to the building.

"I have to warn you that George is a big guy." Dana told her worriedly.

"The bigger they are the harder they fall." Buffy smiled, "Come on. Lets go save Spike."

***

Dr.Dawson lay the scalpel down again, "Hmm....better give you something to at least make you woozy, don't want you moving your head when I'm cutting." He pulled a syringe from the table and injected Spike.
"We'll give this a minute to work and we'll be ready."

Spike fought to stay lucid but soon his eyes were heavy, he wasn't asleep but he didn't have the focus to struggle as he watched Dr. Dawson pick up the scalpel once again.

"Theres a light in that room." Buffy cautiously walked down the dark hallway. She peeped around the door jam and saw Spike secured to a table. A man with a scalpel stood beside him and a large man stood in the corner, that must be George. She stepped into the doorway, "I'd put that scalpel down if I were you."

Dr. Dawson turned to face her, "As soon as I'm finished, I will. George." He nodded towards Buffy.

The sight of Spike lying vulnerably on the table angered Buffy, but it also brought another feeling to the surface full force, what if she hadn't got there in time, what if she had lost him? All thoughts of saving Spike and nobly leaving him fled her mind.

George moved menacingly towards Buffy as Spike watched bleary eyed from the table. Buffy? Buffy was here. He sighed softly, if this was a dream then he wanted to keep dreaming and if it wasn't.....well, he was quite sure that Buffy would take care of the problem....his eyes drifted closed again.

When George was close enough to grab Buffy's arm she let loose with a punch to his nose so hard he hit the wall behind him. Dr. Dawson moved towards her brandishing the scalpel as she pummeled Georges
face until he passed out she let him drop to the floor and turned quickly at the sound of Dr. Dawson's advancing steps.

Dana entered the room then. "Go help Spike!" Buffy called to her as the other Doctor swiped at her with the scalpel making a long cut from her shoulder to elbow, blood flowed freely as she kicked him square in the stomach, the scalpel flying across the floor.

Joseph Dawson experienced true fear as he watched the petite blonde ball of fury advance on him. George was rousing now, but made no effort to help the Doctor, he left the room as quickly as his bruised body would allow.

Dana rushed to Spike's side, she quickly unfastened the restraints and helped him sit up. He was still groggy but awake enough to watch and listen to Buffy as she dealt with Dawson. "You okay? I should go help Buffy."

Spike put his hand on her arm, "Buffy can handle this all on her own, just watch my girl in action."


Dana stood and watched as Buffy allowed the man to partially stand before she pulled him the rest of the way up by the lapels of his jacket. "You have messed with the wrong person." She threw him against the wall, "You don't hurt "my people", any of them. Especially the man I love." She grinned as she said the words, suddenly she felt empowered by those long unsaid words.

She flashed Spike a big beautiful smile, "You heard right." She told him sassily.

Spike's face lit up with a smile, she said it, she loved him. Please, please don't let this be a dream.


Buffy turned back to her foe. She punched Dawson in the face, "I suggest you leave town as soon as possible and if I ever see you anywhere near me or 'mine' " She turned to flash Spike a smile as she emphasized 'mine', "I will make you sorry you ever laid eyes on him."

"You can't get away with this." Dawson spit out as the blood ran from his nose.

"Oh, yes she can. Who are you going to complain to?" Dana asked stepping forward.

"I'll have your license." He retorted.

"Really? How? Think the medical board is ready to listen to your story about a vampire? Or maybe you prefer them to think that you were going to do experimental surgery on a human without permission?"
Dana shook her head, "Of course I'm game to talk to them if you are."

"I...I....fine, I've wanted to get out of this town for a long time now. But mark my words, Dana, being a do gooder for monsters will backfire eventually." He glared at the young woman.

"I'll take my chances, Joseph." Dana replied as Buffy let go of the man and he stomped out the door.

Buffy rushed to Spike's side, "Are you okay?" She asked as she gently ran her hand over the shaved spot on the back of his head.

"I'm fine, Buffy." He leaned his head against her forehead, "Did you mean it?" He asked softly afraid that she would take back the profession now that the danger was over.

"Yes, I meant it, every word." Tears rolled down her cheeks, "I'm just sorry it took me so long."

"It's okay, it's okay, luv." He ran his hands down her arms, pulling his hand back he cringed when he saw the blood from the scalpel wound, "You're hurt!"

"It's not as bad as it looks. I'm fine." She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him closely to her, "We're both going to be fine, now."

Dana watched the couple for a moment before interrupting, "I think we should get out of here, Buffy, I'll take a look at that arm for you at my clinic."

"Thanks, Dana." Buffy smiled, "For everything."

"Yeah, thanks. We owe you one." Spike carefully climbed down from the table, Buffy placed her arm around his waist and helped him to the car.

"It was my pleasure." Dana took the keys from Buffy and drove back to the clinic.


Buffy and Spike sat together in the back seat, Spike leaning against Buffy as she held tightly to his hand.
"We still have things to talk about." Buffy whispered to him.

"I know." He replied with a worried sigh.

"But we can do this." She reassured him placing a kiss on the top of his head.

"Yeah, I think we can." He told her truthfully as he rested against her.

Dana helped Buffy to her office where she cleaned the wound and neatly bandaged it . "I guess you'll have to find another doctor to help around here now." Buffy told her as she stood.

"Actually, I've been thinking that I need to find a couple of doctors, I think I'm going to be leaving Sunnydale for awhile."

"You're leaving?" Spike asked as he pulled Buffy closer to him.

"Yes, I think I'm going to keep you here a bit longer make sure your nightmares are gone, and when I release you I'm going to Seattle."

"Seattle?" Buffy asked curiously.

"Yes, Matthew is there. My boyfriend from LA. We went through a bad time....but I realized tonight that if the two of you - who by the way are the most messed up couple I've ever had the pleasure of treating." She laughed softly.

"Hey!" Buffy and Spike answered in unison.

She rolled her eyes, "If you two can work it out then Matthew and I can hopefully work it out too."

"Good on you, Dana." Spike reached for Dana's hand and squeezed it.

"Thanks. Now Buffy, I think you and Spike both need some rest." Dana led them out of her office and walked to Spike's room.

Buffy helped Spike into his bed and kissed his forehead. Dana could tell that Buffy was hesitant to leave him. She sat beside the bed his hand tight in hers. "Tell you what, we don't usually allow visitors to stay the night....but I think I can make an exception. Buffy, since your sister is gone for the night, why don't you stay here?"

"I'd like that." Buffy answered softly her gaze resting on Spike.

"I'll leave you two then, get some rest." Dana smiled as she left the room.

"Well, come on," Spike grinned as he scooted over in the small bed.

Buffy grinned back as she climbed under the covers with him, "I love you, you know." The words were soft and sincere.

"I know.." He kissed her softly, "I love you too."



Buffy lay on her side with her good arm under her, nestled against Spike's chest. His arm lying gently over her bandaged one. They fell asleep that way, safe and secure in each others arms and thats how Dana found them when she peeked into the room on her way out. Standing at the doorway, she marvelled at the couple in front of her, so badly hurt, two broken hearts that once kept them from happiness. Love was great medicine though and as they lay there she could see two people very obviously in love........their hearts already healing.

The end