Chapter 18:

"Hey, Buffy, looks like Cecily showed up after all," Willow said, nudging the blonde as they walked together towards their lunch table. "Guess she was just running late today and not actually the victim of a freak animal attack."

"Joy of joys," Buffy muttered. "And I was so hoping for those rabid bunnies." She sat down at the table, Willow taking a seat across from her. Buffy had just started to examine the day's lunch when she noticed Cecily heading towards them. "Oh fuck, she's coming over here," Buffy swore, a sour expression on her face. "The bile that's rising up at the thought of talking to her is just what I needed to make this food even tastier."

Cecily stopped at the table, the smile she wore smug. "Hello, Buffy."

"Hello, Cecily. We missed you in first period today. I was really hoping nothing bad had happened to you," Buffy replied with obvious mock-sincerity.

"Oh, I was quite fine, I assure you," Cecily said. "I simply went to have a little chat with a mutual acquaintance of ours."

"A mutual…" Buffy's eyes grew wide as she realized who Cecily was talking about. "What the hell did you say to William?"

"Oh, I didn't really have to say anything. A picture is worth a thousand words, after all. And those that I stumbled across, well, they're practically War and Peace." She cocked her head to the side, frowning a little. "Or at least the extremely slutty version. And then of course everything that with them… The newspaper articles, the police reports… My, my, Buffy, you were one busy little bee back in Los Angeles."

Buffy paled, her stomach turning. "What did you do?"

"I hired a private investigator to look into your record," Cecily replied with a shrug. "Though I think a lot of that stuff I could've found on my own, since it appears that your father has just enough money and clout for your exploits to make the tabloids. I couldn't have found the police records without the detective, however. Oh, you should've seen the look on William's face when he read those. It was just priceless."

Buffy fought back tears, refusing to give Cecily the satisfaction of seeing her cry. "Why did you do this to me? You didn't even want him!"

"I was merely looking out for William's best interests," Cecily said. "A man of his social stature can't start gallivanting around with some two-bit trollop."

"His what?" Buffy asked, her brow wrinkling.

"Oh, don't pretend you don't know," Cecily said, rolling her eyes. "As if you could be interested in poor, confused William for any other reason."

"Cecily, I really have no idea what you're talking about."

"He's part of the peerage, Buffy," Cecily said, talking to Buffy as if she were a small child. "William's a baron. And no matter how much of a media darling you were back home, you will never be good enough for him. You're nothing but trash."

Buffy couldn't hide her shock. Never once had William mentioned being a baron. Was Cecily even telling the truth? He certainly didn't seem like a baron… Or at least how she would have pictured one anyway. Shouldn't a baron live in a dark, sprawling estate with big stone walls? And shouldn't one dress more…baron-y? If William was a baron, then romance novels and movies had definitely been leading her astray. "He never told me anything about it…" she said to Cecily.

"Really? Never? Huh. Well, I guess he really was just using you then. I suppose he saw that he'd finally found someone slutty enough to give even him a decent shag, and he leapt at the chance.  Although now that he's seen the damage that can cause, I'm sure he's ready to go back to a woman more…on his level." Cecily patted her curls.

Buffy's eyes narrowed. "You stay away from him, bitch. You already told him he was beneath you…"

"Yes, well, that was before you somehow managed to work wonders on him." Cecily smiled coolly. "I really should thank you for that, Buffy."

"He doesn't want you," Buffy ground out, barely able to rein herself in. The thought of William with Cecily together made her want to rip the other woman to shreds with her bare hands.

"Oh yes, I think he does," Cecily replied haughtily. "I was the one he loved—remember? The one he pined for, the one he called his muse." She looked at Buffy in disgust. "You were just his whore."

The last of Buffy's control snapped then. She lunged at Cecily, grabbing her by her hair and slamming her head down on the table. "You stay the hell away from him, you fucking bitch. I swear to god, I will make you hurt…"

"Miss Summers! Unhand Miss Underwood at once!"

Buffy swore under her breath as she saw one of her teachers approaching them. More trouble…just what she freaking needed.

"She…she just attacked me!" Cecily exclaimed as Buffy let her up. "It was completely unprovoked!"

"Miss Summers, please gather your things and come with me."

Buffy sighed, grabbing her book bag. "See you later, Wills," she said, following the teacher towards the office.

*** *** ***

Buffy stood outside of William's door, fighting back tears. Her outburst with Cecily had cost her a suspension for the rest of the week, though if her parents found out it could be much worse than that. This had been her last chance, and if she screwed up… Well, she wasn't quite sure what they'd do to her, but she knew it wouldn't be good.

She had to see William. He had to tell her that what Cecily was saying wasn't true—or even if it was that he didn't care about those things she did in the past. "I need to talk to William," she said as the family's butler opened the door to her.

"I'm afraid he is unable to accept company at this time, Miss Summers. He is engaged in his studies."

"I know, but it's really important," Buffy said. "Please. It won't be long."

"There are no exceptions, Miss Summers. You may call again when his tutor has gone for the day."

"Please. I need…"

"No exceptions," the butler repeated. "Good day, Miss Summers." He shut the door in her face, the sound of the lock clicking making a shudder go through Buffy's body.

She couldn't wait for William to be done with his lessons for the day. She needed to see him now, to have him tell her he still wanted her, no matter what Cecily had shown him. With her mouth set in a grim line of determination, she turned around, heading towards the back of the house and William's bedroom.

She climbed up the tree into his window, muttering under her breath as her uniform skirt made that more difficult than usual. Finally, she managed to make her way in, coming to a halt when she saw William sitting on his bed, a myriad of papers spread in front of him.

"Your butler said you were with your tutor," Buffy said.

William looked up sharply at her. "What are you doing here? It's not polite to come sneaking in through people's windows."

"I didn't sneak. I was pretty loud, actually. And you never minded it before," Buffy snapped.

William's jaw was tight. "Now's really not a good time, Buffy."

"Why did the butler tell me your tutor was here?" Buffy asked. "Did you tell him to lie to me?"

William sighed. "I just need some time alone right now, Buffy. Please…"

Buffy's heart clenched. "Cecily was over here. She…" Buffy stopped, marching over to the bed and grabbing a handful of papers, bile rising to her throat as she saw them. Pictures of her drunkenly clinging to men, more than one of whom she barely remembered….detailed accounts of many of her less shining moments…everything she wanted to escape. She threw them back to the bed.

"Is this how you see me? You're going to look at this crap printed by people who don't even know me, and give it value over what you already know about me?" she yelled.

"Buffy…I…"

Buffy didn't let William finish as a new thought came down on her like a black cloud. "Oh god, this is already what you thought of me. Cecily was right. You… Fuck." Buffy felt tears pricking her eyes again, and this time she couldn't keep them back. "This is why your mother was too sick to meet me but well enough to go visit relatives. You didn't want me to meet her. I wasn't good enough to be around your mother—I was just your whore!"

"What?" William stood up, making a move towards her, but stopping with Buffy backed away. "Buffy, I don't think of you as a…like that. If that's what Cecily said, then she was lying. I never said that…never thought that."

"No? Then why did you even keep those?" she asked, jabbing her hand towards the papers still spread out on the bed. "Why were you up here reading them? Why didn't you tell Cecily to get out and take her 'information' with her? It's like you're spying on me, William. If you wanted to know these things, you could've asked. I'm not proud of them, but I wouldn't lie to you."

"Bloody hell, Buffy, what did you expect out of me? Can you tell me if someone handed you a stack of papers that said things like this about me you could just ignore them?"

"Yes!"

"You could look at dozens of pictures of me hanging all over other women, read reports of nights I had that were so wild the bloody police had to be called in—not to mention the arson—and you could just brush it off?" Buffy's only response was a soft sob, her hand going up over her mouth. "It's a bit to process, Buffy," William said.

"You knew I had a past," Buffy said, her hand dropping to her side again. "You knew there had been other men. You knew."

"Knowing in a vague sense and seeing it right in front of me are too different things."

"So what, this is it? You can't handle who I was before I met you, so you're just going to bail?"

"I never said that," William replied quickly.

"You might as well have! It's obvious you can't deal with it."

William sighed. "I'm trying, Buffy, but it's a lot to deal with."

Buffy looked down—looking at his face only made it all hurt more. "Is it because of your title?"

"What?"

"Cecily—she told me you're a baron. Is that true?"

William was silent for a moment before he replied. "Yes."

"So that's what it is? I'm not good enough to be with a baron?"

"I never said that either!" William snapped, making Buffy look up. "Bloody hell, you can make things so sodding difficult! This has nothing to do with my title. I don't give a damn about the title! It's about the shock of seeing my girlfriend like this!" He grabbed a handful of pictures off the bed, throwing them one after the other to the floor in front of Buffy's feet.

Buffy began to cry harder, looking down at the grainy tabloid images. She'd regretted some of her past decisions before, but she'd never truly felt ashamed of them—not until right then. Maybe William was right to look down on her. Maybe Cecily was right and she was nothing but trash… "Just…just tell me one thing."

"All right."

"Did…did you purposely keep me from meeting your mother."

William stepped back, his shoulders slumping. "Yes. But…"

Buffy held up her hand. "No. Stop. That's all I needed to know."

"Buffy…"

"No. I…I need to go…" She turned, walking towards the door.

"Buffy, wait."

"I'm sorry, William," she said softly as she kept walking out, tears streaming down her cheeks.

William slumped down to the floor, letting her go. After all, he'd known it would end sooner or later anyway…

*** *** ***

Chapter 19:

Buffy sat on her bed, unable to stop the sobs that wracked her body. She couldn't believe this was happening. Things had been so good with William—they'd been perfect. Just that morning, they'd been in each other's arms, and now…

She wished she could bring herself to be angry at William. Everything would be so much easier if she could hate him now. But she couldn't. She couldn't even blame him for his reaction. Of course he didn't want to be with her anymore. He was a baron and she was a drunken slut with a criminal record.

No, she didn't hate William. She hated herself.

The knock on her door startled Buffy and she looked up sharply, wiping at her eyes. "Who is it?"

"It’s Giles. I received a call from your school today, and I'd like to talk to you about it."

Shit… Buffy thought. Just what she needed. She'd lost William and now Giles was probably going to send her back to her parents, who would probably stick her in a convent or something… She got off the bed and walked towards the door, trying to calm herself so she could ask Giles rationally to let her stay.

She didn't manage it. As soon as she saw him her tears started fresh and she began to ramble, her words running together. "Please…don't make me go…I'm sorry. I'll be good now, and I didn't mean to, it's just that Cecily was so horrible, and she said and did things, and I know that probably doesn't matter, but I'm sorry, and I don't want to go back to my parents because they'll probably make me be a nun, and I don't want to and…"

"Buffy, slow down," Giles said, holding up his hand. "I didn't say I was sending you anywhere."

"You're…you're not going to kick me out?"

"No. I merely wanted to discuss with you what happened. Would you be willing to go sit in my study with me so we might talk?"

Buffy nodded, still shaking slightly with her tears. "Okay."

Giles reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief, handing it to her. "Come on. It's all right."

Buffy followed him to his study, wiping her eyes with the handkerchief as she did. When they got into the room, Giles pulled a chair for Buffy before sitting in one across from her. "Now as I understand it, you got into a small altercation this afternoon with Cecily Underwood at school. Can you tell me what happened?" Giles asked.

"Yes," Buffy said with a nod. "See, William…"

"William from next door?" Giles interrupted.

"Uh huh."

"And as I understand it, the two of you have been dating, correct?"

"We were," Buffy said, her face crumpling as she said the words. "I'm sorry…I'm just…"

"It's all right, dear child. Take your time, please," Giles said, giving her a soft, warm smile.

"Thank you." Buffy took a deep breath. "William used to like Cecily, but she shot him down. So then he started dating me. And she didn't care about him at all until I got with him, and all the sudden she just has to have him. So she hired a private investigator to dig up all the dirt from my life in L.A. and then gave it to William, who then got all freaked out about it."

Giles's eyes widened. "Wait…she did what?"

"She hired a private investigator to get information on me to give to William," Buffy repeated. "She had everything…tabloid clippings, police reports…"

"Please hold on a moment, Buffy," Giles said, rising from his seat. He went over to his desk, flipping through a thick address book before picking up the telephone and dialing a number. "Yes, Mrs. Underwood, please." Giles glanced briefly over at Buffy as he waited on the phone, then turned away as he began to speak again.

"Yes, Mrs. Underwood, this is Rupert Giles, the guardian of Miss Buffy Summers. Yes, I am aware of that. No, you listen here, Mrs. Underwood—your daughter hired an investigator to retrieve private information regarding Miss Summers that she then distributed to a third party—without either the knowledge or consent of Miss Summers—with the sole purpose of causing Miss Summers emotional and personal distress. I highly suggest you speak with your daughter immediately to curb any of this sort of behavior in the future, or you will be hearing from my lawyers. I have half a mind to take you and your daughter into court over what she's done already." Giles paused for a moment, listening, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I do appreciate it, Mrs. Underwood. I trust there will be no more trouble of this nature. Yes, of course. Good day."

Giles hung up the phone and turned back to Buffy. "You were saying?"

Even feeling as badly as she did, Buffy couldn't help smiling a little. "Thank you for that."

"It was my pleasure. I've never cared one bit for the Underwoods. Ghastly people, the lot of them," Giles replied, sitting back down. "Now, what happened with William?"

Buffy looked down at her hands, twisting the handkerchief. "I think we broke up."

"You think?"

Buffy sighed. "I don't know. It was just all so sudden. We were fine and then Cecily stepped in, and screwed it all up."

"I'm terribly sorry, Buffy. I know this sort of thing can be quite difficult."

"It hurts so much. I know we hadn't been together very long, but I really, really liked him," Buffy said, finding herself unable to keep from pouring her heart out. "He wasn't like other guys I've dated. He was actually…nice to me. He respected me, but now I guess that's shot all to hell." She sniffled.

Giles cleared his throat. "Well, I can't say I know much about teenage girls, never having been one myself, but I do believe that this sort of thing requires some type of ice cream with a ridiculous amount of chocolate in it. I have some in the freezer if you'd like to continue this discussion accompanied by it."

Buffy looked up. "I'd like that."

"Good." They both stood and Giles looked at her for a moment before reaching out, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Your parents needn't know about your suspension, Buffy. It can stay between us. And as for going back to live with them—my home is always open to you. Even when the school year has ended."

Buffy's eyes widened. "You…you actually mean that?"

"Yes. As I'm sure you have noticed, I never married. I am…seeing someone, but she has already done all the child rearing she wishes to do, and has no intention of remarrying in the near future—not that it's particularly something I want myself. But I have longed to have someone in my life that I can look on in a paternal sort of way, and as I see it, you are in as much need of a parent as I am of a daughter. I believe some sort of arrangement can be made."

Buffy felt her tears starting again, although this time for an entirely different reason. She tried to speak, but found herself unsure of what to say. Instead, she threw her arms around Giles, embracing him tightly. He hesitated for a moment, unused to such a gesture, before hugging her back. "Thank you," Buffy whispered against him. "Thank you so much."

"It is my pleasure to look upon you as family, my dear." Buffy pulled away and Giles smiled softly at her, brushing her tears from her cheeks. "Now, how about that ice cream, hmm?"

*** *** ***

William sat alone in his room, the lights off. He couldn't quite wrap his head around what had happened only a few hours earlier. Had he honestly just broken up with Buffy?

Being without her was the last thing he wanted. All he had wanted was a little time to process seeing those pictures before they talked. Seeing her with other men had hit him hard, bringing out the jealous boyfriend in him, and he hadn't wanted to take that out on Buffy. He hadn't wanted to fight with her.

And hadn't that just blown up in his face? He felt like an idiot, cursing himself for his complete lack of relationship knowledge. He didn't know how to handle these things, didn't know what he was supposed to say or do. Then Buffy had taken everything the wrong way, thinking he judged her for things she'd done before they'd gotten together. He didn't. He couldn't. He loved her too much to look at her that way. It had been a shock, but she was still the same person she'd been that morning, and he loved her just as much as ever.

Buffy, on the other hand, obviously believed he did judge her. She'd accused him of thinking of her as his whore and of wanting to break up with her because of his title. How could she think he'd do those things? Hadn't he shown her that she meant the world to him? He'd tried. But he wasn't very good at these sorts of things at all…

He'd thought that Buffy had enjoyed all the time they'd spent together in bed, but what if she hadn't? What if she felt like he was pushing for it too much, that it was all he wanted out of her? Was that what had driven her to accuse him of thinking of her as a whore? If that were the case… William grew pale, feeling suddenly ill. Had he made Buffy feel that way? He knew he shouldn't have given into his body's desires the way he had. He hadn't shown Buffy enough respect. That had to be why she felt this way about him.

And what could he say to her now? Would she believe that he was willing to treat her the way a gentleman should? Of course she wouldn't. She was probably glad to be rid of him, grateful to no longer have to serve his every base desire. She'd wanted someone who didn't treat her the way those men in the pictures had, and William had shown himself to be no better than them. He had treated her as a whore, not as the love she was.

He wanted to find some way to apologize, but knew there was none. He'd been so incredibly foolish and ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him. He ached all over, his chest clenching, but he didn't try to push away the pain. He deserved it after the way he'd treated Buffy.

William looked over towards her bedroom, seeing it dark with the blinds closed. He wondered where she was, and if she was hurting, too. He knew she probably was, thinking of the horrible way he'd behaved towards her, and he hated himself. Buffy didn't deserve what he'd done to her. She had so much pain in her life already with her parents, and the last thing she needed was him adding to it.

He turned his gaze back to the ceiling, sighing heavily. "You're a stupid git, Will," he said aloud. "A stupid, pathetic git."

All he could do was hope Buffy would someday move past what he'd done to her and find someone who wasn't too much of an idiot to treat her right.

*** *** ***

Buffy woke the next morning feeling off. Her body ached and something just felt wrong. And then it hit her in a rush.

She'd broken up with William…

A minute into her day and she was already sobbing. She was grateful for her suspension. There was no way she could face Cecily today.

"Buffy? Are you awake?" she heard Giles call through her door, tapping lightly.

Buffy sniffled, wiping at her eyes. "Yeah."

"May I come in?"

"Sure," Buffy said, sitting up in bed.

Giles opened the door, giving her a sympathetic look. "I thought I heard you crying."

"I just started," Buffy said. "Granted, I've only been awake for like two minutes…"

"Which do you think would help you more, Buffy? Staying in and keeping to yourself or going out and trying to keep your mind off of it? Perhaps some shopping?"

Buffy looked at him incredulously. "Giles, are you offering to take me shopping? 'Cause that's a scary endeavor…"

Giles took off his glasses, polishing them on the edge of his shirt. "Yes, well, if it would help you to feel better, I would risk it."

"I appreciate it. I really do. But I think this is going to be a curl up in the bed and feel sorry for myself sort of day," Buffy replied.

"All right then. But if you change your mind, do let me know. I'll be in the study. If you need anything at all, ring for me and I'll be here."

Buffy gave him a tiny smile. "Thank you. No one's ever treated me like this before. It's almost like having someone care about me."

"I do care about you, Buffy," Giles replied. "I meant what I said last night. No one should have to feel alone in this world. Be they seventeen year old girls or…very old men."

Buffy snorted. "You're not very old. I mean, you don't have to gum all your food or anything."

Giles chuckled. "Thank you. I do appreciate that." He reached out, squeezing Buffy's shoulder. "Do let me know if you need anything at all. Would you like me to bring some movies up here for you to watch?"

"Ooh, would you? I think I have The Princess Bride downstairs."

"Of course. I'll be back in a moment."

Buffy wiped at her eyes, feeling somewhat better even though the hole in her heart that William had left still ached. But at least she wasn't suffering in solitude. For the first time in her life she felt like there was someone who really cared for her.

*** *** ***

Chapter 20:

William thought he might be going crazy. He hadn't seen Buffy in two days and already he couldn't take it. He couldn't sleep, his bed too large and cold without her in it. He needed to hold her, touch her, kiss her, move inside of her. He was craving sex more now than he had before he'd actually had it, and he couldn't exactly figure out why that was. Shouldn't he have gotten enough in the past couple of weeks that his body would be accepting of a break?

Apparently not.

His bed smelled like her, the lingering traces of the scent of her hair on his pillows enough to drive him insane. It taunted him, reminding him cruelly of what he'd lost. He thought he should perhaps wash them, but he couldn't bring himself to erase what little remained of her. He'd rather have a painful reminder than nothing at all.

He couldn't concentrate on his studies, his mind wandering to the point that his tutor had left early, stating that he wasn't going to waste his time when William clearly wasn't paying the least bit of attention.

The house was filled with her. Every place he looked, he could almost see her, hear her. The time they'd spent here together had been short, but it had been enough to leave a deep impression on his mind, haunting him wherever he went.

It didn't take William long at all to realize he couldn't live like this. He needed Buffy, needed to touch her, to run his hands along her smooth, golden skin. She'd worked her way into his system, into his blood, and she was a craving now—an addiction.

His body told him to go to her and beg her forgiveness until she let him back into her bed, but he knew he couldn't do that. He'd already hurt her enough by making her feel like a whore. He refused to do it any further. He would have to remind himself how to be a gentleman, to curb his needs around a lady, put her first.

Knowing that didn't make it easy to do. He wanted her here with him, if even for a moment, just to see her smile. But no. He'd buggered up everything and he was alone.

William wasn't going to make it like this. He needed to do something—anything—to dull the aching in his heart. He'd thought he could just accept things as they were, that it would be just like it was before Buffy, and maybe he could survive that. But the loneliness and emptiness he felt now were a thousand times worse than anything he'd felt in the past. He'd touched happiness and learned that it really wasn't better to have loved and lost than to have never love at all. At least if you'd never loved at all you didn't know what you were missing.

William knew. And he couldn't live without it. He had to come up with a way to make this hurting stop and fast.

*** *** ***

Buffy had spent all day Thursday and part of Friday in bed. She'd moped, she'd felt sorry for herself, she'd cried her eyes out.

Then shortly after lunch on Friday she'd decided it was time for her to suck it up. Losing William hurt her more than she could even describe, but she'd always bounced back from everything she'd faced in the past. She was strong, a survivor.

There was a party that night and she was going to go. She had no doubt that Cecily would be there, and Buffy was going to show her that it took more than this to keep Buffy Summers down. She wouldn't allow Cecily the satisfaction of thinking she'd broken her.

But that didn't mean that Buffy wasn't going to get herself some moral support. She'd gotten Giles to pull a few strings and allow Willow a weekend away from the school on short notice, and the redhead had agreed to accompany Buffy to the party.

Not that she was happy about it… Willow sat on Buffy's bed, reluctantly allowing Buffy to do her hair and make up. "Parties really aren't my thing," Willow said, her eyes screwed shut as Buffy attempted to apply eye shadow. "They make me really nervous."

"I promise I won't abandon you," Buffy said. "And stop squinting. It's making this really difficult."

"I can't help it! My eyes want to squint when someone comes after them with some pointy thing!"

"It's an eye shadow brush, Wills. It's supposed to be near your eye. Just relax. I'm an expert at this. I used to dream about doing hair and make-up for the stars."

"Really?" Willow asked, trying to make herself relax like Buffy had told her to. "Why don't you want to anymore?"

"I don't know. Just changed my mind, I guess," Buffy replied. "And I'm not living in L.A. anymore, which makes a difference. Not that I couldn't do it in England, too, but it wouldn't be the same."

"I thought you were going back to L.A. after school ended," Willow said.

"I was going to, but I really didn't want to. I was miserable living there. But Giles told me that I could stay with him as long as I wanted to. He even offered to support me through college if I wanted to do school in England."

"Wow. That's just…wow."

"I know. He's such a nice man. I feel really lucky to have him in my life. He's been great over the past couple of days, trying to make me feel better about William." Buffy swallowed as she said his name, the sound of the word making her heart clench. "Okay, now hold your lips like this," she said, pushing down the pain as she demonstrated the expression she wanted Willow to make.

"Like this?" Willow asked as she mirrored Buffy.

"Yep, that's it," Buffy replied, grabbing the lipstick and putting it on Willow. She then handed her a tissue. "Okay, now put it on between your lips and blot." Buffy smacked her own lips together. "Like this."

Willow did what she said before reaching out warily for the mirror Buffy had on the bed. "I don't look like a clown, do I?"

"Not unless clowns got a lot sexier since the last time I was at the circus," Buffy said with a teasing grin. "You look great, Willow. A real dish."

Willow brought the mirror up, examining her face. "I…I don't know if it's really me."

"You're fine. And I promise you it's only for a little while anyway. I just need to show Cecily that she hasn't broken me. Then we can come back here and have a good old fashioned slumber party," Buffy replied.

"Okay. But I'm only doing this 'cause you're like the only friend I have. And also because I think Cecily's a total b-i-t-c-h."

"To put it mildly." Buffy jumped up. "Okay, time for wardrobe."

"Wardrobe? What's wrong with that I have on?" Willow asked.

"Wills, we're going to a party, not an Amish barn raising. Just trust me here. I will not lead you astray."

Willow sighed, getting to her feet. "I'm taking a lot on faith here."

Buffy chuckled. "I know. And I appreciate it. Now come on, let's raid my closet."

*** *** ***

"Okay, I can do this," Buffy said, smoothing down her skirt as they stood outside the house where the party was being held. "I'm perfectly fine. My heart has not been ripped out and smashed to a bloody paste, and Cecily Underwood has no power over me whatsoever."

"Might be a little more convincing if you didn't have that terrified look on your face," Willow said. "Just a suggestion."

"Right. Let's go in." They'd taken only a few steps when Buffy stopped abruptly, turning around. "I can't do this. It's too soon, and my heart is broken, and Cecily is the last person in the world I want to see right now."

Willow crossed her arms in front of her. "Oh no you don't. You got me all dressed up and dragged me out to this party, and we're going in." She pointed to her face. "This is my Resolve Face. Do you know what that means yet?"

Buffy nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay, then you know there's no changing my mind. Besides, you were right. You do need to show Cecily that you're fine—even if it's a complete and total lie. She's spent too long pushing people around. It's time someone stood up to her."

"You can be damn forceful when you want to be," Buffy said. "You're a little scary."

"You're darn right I am," Willow said with a nod. "Now march. It's party time."

Buffy took a deep breath, walking with Willow up to the house and knocking on the door. They were let in without question, though all eyes were definitely on Buffy, this being her first public appearance since her suspension. The rumors had been flying since Wednesday, the most recent one having escalated to Buffy trying to stab Cecily to death with her cafeteria fork.

Buffy sorta wished she'd thought of that one at the time…

She didn't let the looks people were giving her phase her. Instead, she held her head up high, acting as if the whispers meant nothing to her. She'd faced much worse from the crowd back in Los Angeles. These people were nothing but amateurs in comparison.

She kept Willow by her side, keeping her promise to not abandon the other girl. She noticed that Willow seemed to be relaxing, seeing her bopping her head to the music a few times. Buffy nudged her friend. "Told you it wouldn't be so bad."

"I can think of a lot of things that would be better," Willow replied.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "There are a lot worse, too." She handed Willow her cup. "Could you hold my drink for me? I'm going to go to the bathroom."

"You'll…you'll be back soon, right?" Willow asked, fear in her eyes.

"Of course. This skirt just squeezes my bladder…sorry. I'll be back so quickly you won't even know I was gone."

"Okay. I'll be right here. In this spot," Willow said. "I'm not budging."

Buffy chuckled. "Whatever you want to do." She made her way through the crowd and down the hall, stopping short when she heard Cecily's voice. The shrill sound cut right through her, and Buffy's insides turned. She'd wanted to show Cecily that she was strong, but at the same time, she was hoping she wouldn't actually run into her at all. Buffy was sure that Cecily would find out she'd come to the party by word of mouth alone.

Buffy took a deep breath, resolving to just walk by the room where Cecily was, hoping the brunette wouldn't even notice her. She'd just gotten to the open door when she stopped short, realizing who Cecily was in there with. Her heart dropped, her legs threatening to give out from under her.

"William, I really do love you. I was a fool before, for what I said to you. I didn't mean it, darling."

Buffy froze, unable to keep walking. William's back was to her, and she waited for his answer, needing to know how he'd respond. Would he accept the advances of a woman who had done to her what Cecily did?

"Cecily, I…"

Cecily didn't let William finish. She grabbed him, pulling him in for a kiss. Buffy felt her world shatter in that instant, and she turned and ran to the bathroom, though her reason for needing to be there had changed. She slammed the door behind her, locking it before going to the toilet and retching up the contents of her stomach.

Soon, she pulled up, wiping at her mouth with a piece of toilet paper before flushing. She couldn't believe this, couldn't believe what she saw. But then again, it made sense. Cecily was the woman William had truly wanted. If he could have her, then Buffy would be nothing to him.

She sunk to the bathroom floor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She wasn't sure how long she'd been there before she heard a knock on the door. "I'll…I'll be out in a minute," she managed to call out.

"Buffy, it's Willow. You've been gone for a while. I came to check on you."

Buffy rose shakily to her feet, going to the door and opening it. "I'm sorry. I just…" She took a deep breath, her body shaking. "I saw William and Cecily kissing."

"What? No way!"

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes," Buffy replied. "It was horrible. She…she told him she loved him. And then…" She fell over against Willow, crying as her heart broke.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy. I can't believe William turned out to be such a jerk."

"Me either. He seemed like the exact opposite of this. I guess…I guess all guys really are the same."

"Do you want to go home now?" Willow asked. "We can call for our ride to come early, and sit outside while we wait, get some fresh air."

Buffy nodded, pulling up. "Okay."

Willow wrapped her arm around Buffy, walking with her out of the party.

*** *** ***

Chapter 21:

William spent most of the day Friday trying to come up with a way to get Buffy back. He rejected every plan that come to his mind, nothing seeming to be quite the right way to convince Buffy that he wanted her for more than sex and that her past wasn't something he was going to let come between them.

Finally, he accepted what he needed to do. In some ways it was the simplest plan, but it also felt like the most difficult.

He had to tell Buffy that he loved her.

The idea had him in a near panic, even as he tried to look at it rationally. He'd already lost her, so it wasn't as if it could really ruin the relationship further. Maybe it would actually work in his favor and Buffy would want his love—would want to stay with him.

And maybe she would throw his declaration back in his face the same way Cecily had.

It was that fear that made William keep hesitating. Cecily's rejection had hurt, but he knew Buffy's would be a thousand times worse. If she laughed at him and mocked his feelings he didn't think he'd be able to take it.

But would Buffy do that? Was that the kind of woman he had spent the past week with, that he had fallen in love with? He remembered all the times Buffy had urged him to believe in himself, to be strong, to stop thinking he was nothing. No, Buffy wasn't at all cold-hearted like Cecily.

Finally, William had his mind firmly set. He would go to her right then, tell her how he felt. Buffy had made him a man

It was time he started acting like one.

*** *** ***

William took a deep breath when the front door of Buffy's house started to open, telling himself that he could do this—that he had to do this. He looked up at the man who had answered the door, taking a deep breath before he spoke, "Mr. Giles—I do apologize for the late hour, but it is important that I speak with Buffy."

Giles had hoped William would come through after all, and he was certain that's why he was there then. He had every bit the look of a lovesick boy desperate to win back the object of his affections. "I'm sorry, William, Buffy isn't here. She's attending a party with a school friend of hers, a Miss Willow Rosenberg."

"Oh," William said, his disappointment obvious.

"However, if you'd be willing to wait a moment, I could ask my driver for the address of where he dropped off the girls."

Hope returned to William's eyes. "Would you?"

"Of course. Please, come in while I make the inquiry."

William nodded, saying a quick thank you as he stepped into the house. Perhaps this night would go well for him after all…

*** *** ***

As soon as he walked through the door, William remembered why he hated parties. It was too loud, too crowded, and he couldn't find Buffy anywhere. He sighed, just about to start asking around, when he felt a tug on his arm. He turned, frowning at who he saw. "Oh. Cecily. It's you."

"William, I must speak with you," Cecily said, biting her lip in a way William assumed she thought was provocative. If that were indeed the case, William found her to be sadly mistaken. "It is rather important."

"I don't have the time right now, Cecily," William replied, pulling his arm out of her grasp.

"Please, William. Don't make me beg you." She grabbed his arm again, pulling him away from the crowd and into another room. "Does this remind you of anything?" she asked once they were alone.

"No," William replied, annoyed. "Should it?"

"It's much like the situation we were in when you first professed your love for me," Cecily said with a coy smile.

William frowned. He guessed the rooms were somewhat similar. "Then it's also much like the situation where you rejected me—like quite a bitch, I might add."

"I know. Oh, how I regret that night!" She paused, looking into his eyes. "William, I really do love you. I was a fool before, for what I said to you. I didn't mean it, darling!"

William stared at her for a moment. Only a short time ago, those words would have filled him delight. Now they only filled him with nausea. How could he have ever thought this woman was anything special? And Buffy had been right about her eyes. They did bulge in a rather disturbing fashion. He frowned. "Cecily, I…"

Suddenly, Cecily had grabbed him and kissed him. William froze for a moment, her unexpected action putting him into shock. But soon he realized what was happening and pushed her away in disgust, frantically wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Cecily's kiss did nothing to him that Buffy's kisses did, the whole experience being not a thing but unpleasant.

"I don't love you, Cecily," William replied angrily. "I don't even like you. I think you're a horrible, selfish person. What you did to Buffy to come between us was cruel. I have never seen anyone so petty in my life. Any feelings I may have felt for you in the past were based on my own personal delusions, and I can promise you I am quite over them."

"Because of that slut Buffy Summers? Please, William!" Cecily screeched. "She isn't good enough for you. You're a baron, William—she's nothing but a whore!"

Cecily's words made a few things click into place for William. "You told the same thing to Buffy on Wednesday, didn't you?" he accused.

"It's the truth, William. If you can't see it…"

William grabbed Cecily by the arms. "Listen to me, you bloody little bint. You stay far away from Buffy," he snarled, his anger clear in his eyes. "She's better than you'll ever be, you daft cow."

Cecily trembled. "William! You're frightening me!"

"I'll do more than that if you ever come near Buffy again," William sneered. He dropped Cecily and turned towards the door.

"You'll regret this," Cecily said, rubbing her sore arms.

"The only thing I regret is being fool enough to believe I cared for you," William replied.

He went back to the party, searching for Buffy. He asked several people, the general consensus being she had been there but since vanished. And something about Cecily and a fork?

After an hour, William came to the conclusion that she had left. Cursing under his breath, he stormed out of the party, determined to hunt her down, even if it took him all night.

*** *** ***

"I'm sorry I'm being so un-fun tonight," Buffy said to Willow as they both sat on Buffy's bed, an assortment of snack foods between them.

"Don't worry about that at all," Willow replied. "You have the right to be sulky-girl right now. I would be, too."

"Still, you're probably wishing you'd just stayed back at school in the dorms."

"Uh, no," Willow said. "This is my first weekend away from that place all year. I would definitely rather be here than there. Besides, you need a friend right now."

"I do. I'm really glad you're here. I'm not sure I could be handling things too well right now if I was alone."

"You don't have to. I'll…" Willow stopped. "Did you hear something?"

"No. Like what?" Buffy asked with a frown.

"Some sort of tapping." Both girls were quiet for a moment until Willow said, "I heard it again."

"Me, too, that time," Buffy said, rising to her feet. "It sounds like someone's throwing stuff at the window." She walked over, opening the curtains and then the window itself, looking out. She gasped when she saw William standing beneath it. "What do you want?" she snapped.

"Buffy, please, I need to talk to you," William replied. "It's important."

The image of him kissing Cecily played over and over in Buffy's mind. "I have nothing to say to you, William."

"Buffy, please, just give me a few minutes…"

"No! Go away, William! I don't ever want to see you again!" She slammed the window shut and pulled the curtains closed.

Willow had come up behind her when she had heard Buffy yelling at William. "Are you gonna be okay?" she asked softly.

"I…I think so," Buffy replied, even as fresh tears were forming in her eyes. "I can't believe he came here. What, did Cecily turn him down again, so he thought he'd try to see what he could get from his old stand by?"

Willow gave her a sympathetic look. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. I really wish William hadn't turned out to be such a jerk."

"Yeah, me, too." Buffy walked back over to the bed, sitting on the edge. "I really thought he was different. He seemed like such a nice guy, and I was really starting to believe that that's what he was. But I guess I was wrong again. Stupid, naïve Buffy, falling in love again even after having her heart ripped out before…" She sighed. "And you know what the worst part is? I still love him. After all of this, my heart should just kick him out, y'know? He's apparently not the man I thought he was, so I should just stop loving him. But I can't. I still want him so badly, Willow."

Willow sat down beside her. "Love sounds rough."

"It is," Buffy said, wiping at her eyes. "It's so tempting to just crawl back to him and beg him to keep me at least a little while longer, but I can't. I did that with Angel, and things only got worse. I have to be strong this time like I wasn't then. I can't allow myself to get walked all over."

"I'll be here with you this weekend, make sure you stay strong," Willow offered.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it. It'll be better having a friend around to keep my mind off of William-y type things." Buffy took a deep breath and let it out. "But would you be disappointed if I was ready to just go to sleep now? I'm worn out."

"Of course I wouldn't," Willow replied. "I'm pretty tired myself, actually."

"Okay." Buffy stood. "I'll walk you over to your room."

Willow got up and followed Buffy out.

*** *** ***

William walked dejectedly back to his house, fighting tears. He was tired of crying, tired of feeling so weak. The tears had seemed to be ever present since Buffy had walked out of his bedroom two days ago and he wished they'd stop. He was feeling pathetic.

He went up to his room, not bothering to turn on the lights as he walked over to his bed and sat down on the edge, facing Buffy's bedroom. The curtains were drawn, closing her off to him. He longed for the days when they'd been open, and not just for the sort of voyeuristic treat Buffy had given him the night they'd met. Everything had seemed brighter with her there, as if the light she exuded pierced through the darkness his life had been before he'd met her. She was radiant, his golden goddess.

"This is the east, and Juliet's the sun! Arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who's already sick and pale with grief," William said aloud, his words followed by an almost hysterical laugh. The tears he'd tried to fight off earlier were coming now, and he wiped them away roughly, cursing his heart for breaking.

He saw now that he was an idiot for believing he could simply talk to Buffy and make everything go back to the way it had been. She'd never loved him and losing him seemed to mean little to her. She could still party with her friends. She could dismiss him easily, banishing him from her life without a second glance.

She never wanted to see him again… He'd decided in the beginning that he'd do anything for Buffy, but how could he grant such a request? How could he spend the rest of his life without the woman he loved?

It seemed to be impossible. While he knew that he'd spent much more of his life without Buffy than with, she'd managed to turn his whole world upside down when she'd stepped into it. He couldn't go back to the way things had been before now that he knew the way they could be.

But there was nothing he could do to change it. If that was how Buffy felt, then it was truly over.

William would just have to learn to live without her.

*** *** ***

Chapter22:

"I trust you young ladies both slept well last night," Giles said as he walked into the dining room where Buffy and Willow were having breakfast.

"We did," Buffy replied, though it was far from the truth. Even with as tired as she'd been, Buffy had found sleep almost impossible after the events of the night. She had tossed and turned, finding any sleep at all only in short, fitful dozes.

"Did William find you last night?" Giles asked. "He came by around nine o'clock, asking for you. I told him you were at the party."

"He was there," Buffy replied. "But he didn't find me—he found Cecily."

Giles gasped slightly. "Cecily Underwood? Are you certain? He seemed quite determined to speak to you specifically."

"Well, apparently that was before he got all lip-locky with Cecily," Buffy replied. "Because that's what he was doing there."

"Are you positive that's what you saw?" Giles asked with a frown.

"Yes. It's not really something I could forget, Giles," Buffy replied.

"I'm sorry, Buffy," Giles said. "If I had any idea William was going to do that, I never would have sent him. But he seemed so desperate to see you…"

"It's not your fault," Buffy told him. "You had no way of knowing William was going to be such a…" Buffy frowned. "Well, such a seventeen-year-old boy."

"Still, I am sorry. I'm sorry that you're hurting."

"Thanks, Giles, but I really am doing okay. And Willow and I are going shopping later, so I can just spend these blues right away."

Giles had been around long enough to recognize the lie for what it was, but he let it stand for the time being. "All right then. But if you need me for anything, I am here."

"I know."

He patted her shoulder. "I have some work to do, but you can call me if you need to. Have a good day, both of you."

"Thanks Giles—you, too."

Giles walked out of the dining room, his brow creasing as he tried to figure out exactly how William had gone from standing on his doorstep desperate to see Buffy to kissing Cecily.

Something didn't add up.

*** *** ***

"William, darling, are you in here?"

William rolled over at the sound of his mother's voice on the other side of his bedroom door. He guessed it must be Sunday since she'd called and told him that was when she'd be back, though the past couple of days had been pretty much a blur. He said nothing, not wishing to speak to anyone.

"William? Sweetheart?" The door opened, his mother poking her head in. She gasped when she saw her son, hurrying over to the side of the bed, sitting down. "Are you all right?"

"Not particularly," William muttered.

"What happened? Are you ill?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

His mother looked him over, taking in his disheveled appearance and red-rimmed eyes. "You've broken up with your girlfriend, haven't you?"

"She never wants to see me again," William replied. "Never…"

"Oh my poor boy," his mother said, reaching out to stroke his hair. "What happened?"

"I don't know. She thinks I thought something that I don't think at all, and I tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen, and now she's just gone…" William replied, a lump forming in his throat.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know she meant a lot to you. And that the two of you were…very close."

William sat up, looking at his mother in suspicion. "What do you mean by that?"

"William, Kathleen found a pair of women's underwear in your sheets quite a few days ago when she was doing the wash. I assumed they were not yours."

William blushed a deep red. "Mother, I…I'm sorry, I didn't…"

"Dearest, it's all right," his mother said with a small smile. "I'm not going to lie and say it puts me at ease thinking of my teenaged son in a physical relationship, but I'm not so naïve as to think such things don't happen. I was young once myself, you know. I was seventeen when I met your father…"

William's face went from red to pale. "Mother! Please!"

She held up her hands. "All right, I won't say anything else. Just letting you know you weren't really pulling anything over on your mother, young man."

The blush returned. "I didn't mean for things to get the way they did with Buffy. It just…"

"Happened. I know, William. I do need to ask, though—did you use protection?"

William squirmed slightly, unable to believe he was actually having this conversation with his mother. And how was she saying these things with a completely normal expression? "Yes, we did. Buffy uses birth control pills." He looked away from her as he spoke.

"At least you were being responsible. That's the most a mother can really hope for, I suppose." She patted her son's leg. "When did you break up?"

"Wednesday. I tried to find her Friday and tell her how I feel, hoping I'd get her back, but she didn't want to listen. Didn't even want to have me around."

"What did you do?"

"I upset her, I guess, but she misunderstood what I was saying and wouldn't let me explain."

"If it was a misunderstanding, can't you just talk to her, tell her what really happened?"

"Tried. She wouldn't let me." William sighed. "She's not interested in me, Mother. Not anymore. There's a boy back in California, I suppose she still has feelings for him."

"Did she tell you this?"

"No."

His mother frowned. "So how do you know?"

"I just know. I really don't wish to talk about it."

"William, honey, I really believe you need to speak to Buffy, see what you can do to straighten all this out."

"I tried! She won't listen. How can I talk to her if she won't have anything to do with me?"

She pushed his hair away from his forehead. "Try one more time, William. Perhaps she has softened in her anger towards you."

"I've tried enough. I knew she wouldn't stick around anyway. Why should she? I'm just poor, pathetic William the Bloody Awful Poet."

"You are far from pathetic."

"You have to say that 'cause you're my mum," William muttered.

"No, I don't. And I'm not. I'm saying that because I'm the mother of a wonderful boy. And really, I do think you should try to speak to Buffy again."

William looked away. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. How are Winifred and Wesley?"

His mother frowned, but decided not to press the subject any further. The boy could be as stubborn as his father sometimes…

*** *** ***

The first thing Buffy noticed when she showed up at school Monday was how many people looked at her and laughed. She had looked in the mirror before she'd left the house and knew she didn't have anything embarrassing on her. So why were they doing that?

She got her answer when she walked into the building. The halls were covered in papers—photocopied police reports, tabloid stories, and pictures. She snatched one picture off the wall of her in a particularly compromising position and tears formed in her eyes before she crumpled it into a ball, throwing it to the ground in anger. She marched over to her locker, stopping short when she saw what was written on it.

Whore. In bright, red letters.

"Look over there, it's Slutty Summers," she heard someone sneer from behind her. "I heard she was a porn star back in the States."

"I heard she's a total nymphomaniac and tries to have sex with every bloke she sees."

"I bet she has all sorts of diseases."

Buffy refused to turn and look around, even as the girls burst into a fit of giggles. She opened her locker and got out her books before shutting it back and walking with her head up high to her first class.

They would not break her.

*** *** ***

Buffy hadn't been in her first class of the day very long at all before she was called to the office. She sighed, preparing to pack her bags for another suspension—or expulsion. If history had taught her anything, it was that the school administration would always place the blame on her, even when in fact, she was the victim.

She stopped short, her eyes widening, when she walked into the headmaster's office and saw that Cecily was there as well. The headmaster looked up, waving Buffy in. "Please, Miss Summers, have a seat."

Buffy did as she was told, inching to the far side of her chair so she could be as far as possible from Cecily. Just being in the same room with the brunette made her feel ill.

The headmaster cleared his throat, leaning slightly forward with his hands clasped on his desk. "Now, I know that you're both aware of the incident that occurred this morning regarding a redecorating of our halls."

Cecily flipped her hair. "I certainly don't see why I have to be here for that. If Buffy feels the need to advertise her 'talents' in our school…"

"Silence, Miss Underwood!" the headmaster snapped. Cecily slunk back in her seat, fear obvious on her face now. "You are here because surveillance tapes from last night clearly show you not only as the culprit of this heinous, inexcusable prank, but also breaking into the building in order to do it. These are actions we will not condone at our institution. Furthermore, your continued harassment as well as tendency to display personal, private files—that you no doubt obtained in an unacceptable manner—pertaining to Miss Summers has put you and your family in a position to face serious legal action, which would bring nothing but negative attention to our school and distraction to the other students."

"It…it was just a joke!" Cecily protested. "It wasn't a big deal."

"It was cruel, Miss Underwood," the headmaster snapped. "Some jokes are simply not humorous, and this is one of them. What you have done to Miss Summers is horrendous, as is your complete lack of remorse. The qualities you have displayed are not ones that we look for in the girls we educate here. There is an officer waiting outside to escort you to gather your things and then off of campus. You are not welcome back."

Cecily gaped. "I'm…I'm expelled?"

"Yes," the headmaster responded simply.

"You…you can't do this! I'll never get into Cambridge with this on my record!"

"You should have thought of your ambitions before jeopardizing them all with your unintelligent actions, Miss Underwood. It appears that your continued torment of Miss Summers was more important to you than anything else, and you shall now pay the price for such behavior. You are dismissed."

"No! This isn't fair! Buffy attacked me last week, and she only got a three day suspension! How can I get expelled for this?" Cecily screeched.

"Last Wednesday was Miss Summers' first disciplinary problem since arriving here, and in light of recent events, I have no doubt in my mind that she was provoked. This is far from yours, Miss Underwood. Now please, you can either leave campus under your own power or you can be forcibly removed. It's your choice."

Cecily stood up, flipping her hair haughtily. "Fine. I'll leave." She turned to Buffy, her face and voice menacing. "Don't think I'll let you get away with this."

"Miss Underwood!" the headmaster exclaimed. "That threat you just made to Miss Summers is noted should her guardian, Mr. Giles, decide to pursue legal actions regarding your continued harassment of Miss Summers."

Cecily blinked. "What?"

"Means if you don't leave me alone, we're going to sue your skanky ass," Buffy replied with a smug smile.

"And under such circumstances, the matter of breaking into the school may merit further attention," the headmaster added. "In which case, time in jail may be a very real possibility."

At that, Cecily said nothing more, simply paling as she hurried from the office.

"Well, I can't say that didn't just make my morning—'cause it did—but can I ask why I was called to the office?" Buffy asked once Cecily was gone.

"I spoke this morning to Mr. Giles regarding this incident. He said you may wish to be present for the disciplinary actions against Miss Underwood."

"And he was way right," Buffy said. She cleared her throat. "Thank you."

"You were made a victim here, Miss Summers, and for that I am deeply sorry. This is not the sort of environment we wish for our students here. Whatever your problems may have been in the past, you have been an exemplary student since your first day here. Your grades and your attitude have been impressive, and I have noticed in you a kindness that is not present in Miss Underwood or any of her social group. Where they tormented Miss Rosenberg, you have befriended her, bringing out a marked improvement in the girl's mood. These are things we recognize here and reward. Miss Underwood's behavior was nothing above that of a common hoodlum, and that we do not reward. And please, do not hesitate to come to me should anyone harass you further regarding this or any matter. We shall have no tolerance for that at all."

Buffy blinked for a moment. She was a model student? Whoa… "Thank you," she said softly.

"It is my pleasure, Miss Summers. You are a very bright girl, and we are proud to have you here at our fine institution. Now please return to class."

Buffy stood. "Thank you again," she said quickly before exiting the office.

She walked back to class with a smile on her face.

*** *** ***

Buffy went straight to Giles's library after school, finding him there at his desk. "The strangest thing happened to me today," she said, getting his attention. "Granted, this morning as pretty strange finding my life's history plastered to the walls, but after that, I was called into the office to watch Cecily Underwood expelled. Any thoughts on that?"

"I did warn the Underwoods," Giles replied. "See Buffy, I give a rather large charitable donation every year to the school. Should Cecily have been allowed to remain there, those donations would cease."

"You blackmailed the school to get Cecily out? For me? You're like the coolest dad ever!" Buffy exclaimed, running over to Giles and throwing her arms around him.

Giles's smile was almost embarrassed as he returned Buffy's sudden embrace. "Yes, well, I couldn't allow her to continue in such a manner. It was interfering with your education."

Buffy pulled up, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. "Bah. You did it 'cause you wanted to get back at Cecily for picking on me."

"Yes, well, I suppose that may have had something to do with it," Giles replied, taking off his glasses.

"See—the best." Buffy kissed his cheek, making him blush. "Really, thank you. For everything you've done."

"I'm happy to, Buffy. And Cecily did have it coming."

"Boy did she ever." Buffy stepped back. "I'll let you get back to your work now. See you later, Giles."

"All right, Buffy. Let me know if you need me for anything."

"I will."

Giles watched Buffy go, hoping this was only the first of things to get better in her life. The other thing he was wishing would correct itself may take more time, but as of that afternoon, steps had been made. He'd just have to cross his fingers and pray that everything worked out for the best.

*** *** ***

Chapter 23:

William's mother hadn't come to wake him up that morning and he assumed she'd cancelled his lessons for the day. Not that he really cared. He was too miserable to concentrate anyway.

Time wasn't easing his pain. It was only making it worse since the longer he was away from Buffy the more he hurt. He was empty without her, and there was nothing to fill the void she left behind.

He didn't leave the bed all morning, not caring how pathetic that made him. All he had the energy to do was sulk anyway. His mother had come once to try to get him to agree to eat something, but he'd declined. His stomach was too tied up in knots for food.

It was later in the afternoon before his mother came back, this time walking into his room and sitting on the edge of the bed. "William, we need to talk."

"I'll get out of bed tomorrow," he replied, though his voice held little conviction.

"It's not about that. I have something to ask you about Cecily Underwood."

William sat up and looked at his mother. "What about her?"

"Do you still have feelings for Cecily?"

"Bloody hell, no!" William exclaimed. He blushed when he remembered who he was talking to. "Sorry, Mother. I didn't mean to curse."

"It's all right, dear. I'm actually a bit relieved by your enthusiasm. Thought it does make what I heard today somewhat more confusing."

William frowned. "Oh? What's that?"

"Buffy seems to be under the impression that you kissed Cecily at a party last Friday. She claims she saw you."

"What? I wouldn't…" William's eyes widened. "Oh bollocks. Cecily kissed me. I pushed her away, made it right clear that I'm not interested. Buffy saw that? Or the kissing part at least…" William realized that that did make Buffy's behavior a lot clearer. It made sense that she would say she never wanted to see him again if she thought he'd recently been snogging Cecily.

One thing, however, did not make sense. "How did you know that—about Buffy seeing me with Cecily?" William asked his mother.

"That's not important. What is is that you fix this right away. Go over to her house and speak to the girl. Only I do suggest you tidy up a bit first. You might frighten the poor dear the way you look at the moment."

"Gee, thanks, Mum."

"It's only a bit of advice, sweetheart," she replied, patting his leg. "Women tend to like their men a little more—clean. Now you get up and go get your girl back before you turn into one of those lonely middle-aged men obsessed with their mothers, okay?"

William cocked an eyebrow. "What, are you trying to marry me off already?"

"Just looking out for your best interests," his mother answered with a wry smile. "Now up. Stop wasting time."

"What if she won't listen to me?" William asked, feeling his fear returning. "Or what if she's realized over the past few days that she's happier without me."

"William, honestly," his mother said with a heavy sigh. "You're making up excuses and they're not at all helpful. I saw a change in you when you were with this woman. She made you happy, pulled you out of your shell. I'd rather not think about how she accomplished this exactly, but as your mother I can't begrudge the good she did for you. It was obvious the two of you had something strong between you, even watching from the side as I did, and if you're going to let that go because of a misunderstanding, well, I'm going to have to stop telling people how smart my son is."

"I just…she was so upset, and I don't know if…"

"William, get in the bloody shower and then go talk to your girlfriend. Now."

William froze for only a moment before scrambling to get out of the bed and head towards the bathroom. There was no arguing with his mother—not when she had that look on her face.

Anne smiled to herself as she got to her feet and walked from her son's room. Now all she had to do was call Rupert and make sure he let William in, and she knew those two kids would work everything out.

*** *** ***

Buffy sat on her bed trying to concentrate on her homework. She'd been in a good mood for most of the day, Cecily's expulsion brightening what would've otherwise been dark. But now when she was alone, she was unable to keep the thoughts of William at bay.

This was precisely why she hadn't wanted to fall in love again. She'd gone through this before and the aftermath from it had almost destroyed her life. She couldn't let that happen again. She knew she shouldn't have allowed herself to fall for William in the first place, but she had, and the best she could do now was take it as a lesson. No matter how good a man seemed, he would still end up only breaking your heart.

Buffy heard a knock on her door and called out an automatic "Come in" without looking up from her textbook, assuming it to be Giles.

"Hello, Buffy."

Buffy froze, her heart jumping. She'd know that voice anywhere, and it certainly wasn't Giles… She looked up, taking in her first good look of him in days and feeling her body temperature rise. With a shake of her head, she reminded herself that she couldn't want him anymore. "Get out of my room, William."

"Not until we've talked."

"I think I made it pretty damn clear that I didn't want to talk to you anymore," Buffy snapped. "Now get the fuck out."

William's jaw ticked, but he stood his ground, neither moving closer to her or retreating. "No. We need to talk. I think there's a few things that you've gotten wrong."

"The only thing I've gotten wrong was thinking you were worth my time," Buffy replied. She slammed her book shut. "And if you won't leave, then I am, because I can't stand to even look at you."

Buffy got off her bed and started towards the door. Just as she was passing William, his hand shot out, grabbing her by the arm. Buffy looked up at him angrily, trying to break his grasp. "Let me go."

"Buffy, listen to me. You're being ridiculous!"

"Ridiculous! After the way you've treated me?"

"Yes!" William yelled. "Bloody hell, I haven't even done what you think I did, Buffy! All you're doing is thinking the worst of me, never giving me a sodding chance."

"I don't have to give you a chance! You're all the same. Every man I've ever trusted has broken my heart. Why should you be any different?"

"Because I am!" William replied. "I've never done anything to hurt you, Buffy."

"You kissed Cecily!" Buffy screamed. "And don't even try to deny it, William, because I saw you."

"What you saw was Cecily kissing me," William said. "I pushed her away! I'm not interested in her, Buffy, especially after what she did to you—to us. She's nothing to me. You're everything."

Buffy paused a little at that, blinking. "What?"

"I didn't kiss Cecily. She threw herself at me and I turned her down. Told her she'd never be the woman you are."

Buffy gaped, unsure of what to say. Could William be telling the truth? It seemed rather convenient, him claiming that he had indeed pushed Cecily away, only it had been right after Buffy had left. That sort of stuff only happened in fiction, never in real life. "I can't believe you," Buffy said.

"It's the truth," William told her. He turned her so she was facing him, wrapping his free hand around her other arm. "Look at me, Buffy. I'm not with Cecily. I will never be with Cecily. You are the only woman in this world that I want to be with. I need you, Buffy, need you like I need the blood in my veins. I'm dying without you, kitten. Can't sodding stand a day of my life that you're not in."

Buffy felt hot tears pricking her eyes. "I can't, William," she said, shaking her head from side to side. "I can't get hurt again. I can't…"

"You won't. Buffy, I promise you that the last thing I will ever do is hurt you. I'd die before I'd let that happen. You've worked your way into my heart until all that's there is you."

"I can't," Buffy repeated.

In desperation, William pulled her to him, crushing her mouth with his. Buffy's eyes widened, her body staying stiff for a moment before she gave in and melted against, unable to resist any longer. Feeling her grow pliant, William released his grip on her to wrap his arms around her and pull her close.

It didn't take long at all for their kiss to become desperate, their bodies rubbing up against each other as they sought what they'd been denied for these cold, lonely nights. William knew that nothing had really been resolved and that what they should be doing right then was talking, but he couldn't quite get himself to care. Feeling her in his arms made his brain take an immediate backseat.

He broke away from her mouth, panting for air. "I want you, Buffy. God, I want you."

"I want you, too, William," she replied. "I've missed you so much…"

That was all the go-ahead William needed. Talking could come later. He glanced to his side at the few feet separating them from the bed and decided it was too far, pulling Buffy down with him to the floor instead. Their hands tore at each other's clothes until there was nothing left to separate them. "Buffy, can't…" William panted. "I have to be inside now…"

Buffy knew what he was trying to say and agreed. Now was not the time for teasing and foreplay. That could come later when they'd taken the edge off of the raging desperation caused by their separation. She wrapped her legs around his hips, showing him that she welcomed him inside. "I know. I need you, too."

William wasted no more time in sliding in to the hilt, filling Buffy with one long stroke. They both froze at the feeling of being joined again, their eyes locking. He felt his feelings for Buffy rising to the surface, and William knew he couldn't hold them back anymore. He rested his weight on one hand, stroking her cheek with the other.

"I love you, Buffy."

Buffy gasped at his words, seeing them reflected in his crystal blue eyes. It was almost too much, the moment so intense she felt as if she could shatter. Any words she might have said got caught in her throat, and she thrust her hips, desperate to relieve both the pressure in her body and her heart.

William began to move then, his eyes still looking deeply into hers. Buffy found herself almost fighting for breath, both her emotions and his weighing on her. She held on to his arms hard enough to mark him, feeling as if she let go, she'd slip away.

William ducked his head down, his mouth against her ear. She could hear him whispering something repeatedly until it finally pierced her fogged brain. Love you…love you… over and over again. Buffy gasped, bucking beneath him, tears streaming down her cheeks, though she was unaware of them. He made her feel so much.

Buffy screamed when her orgasm hit her, her nails scoring William's pale skin. He followed her over soon afterwards and Buffy continued to cling to him, needing to keep him close, to keep the connection.

Finally, they collapsed in a heap, their ragged breaths seeming almost synchronized as they pushed against the silence in the room. Buffy's heart was beating so rapidly it frightened her as her thoughts whirled through her mind.

William loved her…he'd said the words. Oh god, William loved her, too!

She wasn't sure if that filled her with happiness or dread. He'd said the words…did he mean them? Could she trust him with her heart after it had taken so long to patch it up the last time it had broken? Would she be able to handle it if she accepted his love now and he took it away from her later? She opened her mouth to speak, though she stopped as she caught something out of the corner of her eye.

"William?"

"Yeah?"

"We forgot to close the door."

He glanced up, a chuckle rumbling though his chest as he saw that it indeed was open. "Yeah, we did. Sorry, got a little…distracted."

"It's okay. I think Giles is down in his study anyway."

"Actually, he was headed out when I came in," William said. "Didn't say where he was going."

"Oh."

William dropped a kiss to her forehead before standing up, going over to the door and shutting it. He walked back to Buffy then, picking her up and cradling her in his arms as he carried her over to the bed. Buffy let him, welcoming his embrace as he slid under the blankets with her, holding her close. Her school books slid to the floor, but she ignored them, turning to bury her face against William's chest, breathing his scent in deeply.

Words were still left unsaid on both sides, and they knew it. But for the moment, neither one cared. For the first time in days, they felt complete.

*** *** ***

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