Disclaimer: This is the part of the fic where I say I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer and this isn't for profit, so I don't get sued. Neat, huh?

Rating: NC-17 (Adult Language, Sexual Content, and High-Seas Hijinks)

Summary: As the Slayer, Buffy Summers is certain she hates the vampire Spike. But when an enchanted book pulls her into a world where she's Lady Elizabeth Summers, trapped on the ship of famed pirate William the Bloody, things start to look a little different… (Humor/Romance)

Spoilers: Up to Season 5, "Blood Ties" (Riley's gone. Glory's on her Great Key Search. Spike loves Buffy, but she doesn't know it)

Author's Note: It's an all-human Buffyverse fic! Betcha didn't think that even was possible, huh?

Feedback and Archiving: Seeing as I had to write that disclaimer thingy and prevent any monetary gain on this endeavor, feedback's all I can get—so review away! And I'm cool with archiving 99.9% of the time, but if I haven't already given you the okay for my fics before, please ask. Thanks! addie_logan@yahoo.com

Shameless Website Plug: I've written some other stories. Go check 'em out: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/addielogan/buffy.html

A Pirate's Life for Me

By: Addie Logan

*** *** ***

Buffy walked into the Magic Box. Giles had asked her to meet him there after her patrol in order discuss the current situation with Glory after the run-in Buffy had had with her the night before.

It had been a quiet patrol, however, and when Buffy got to the shop it was empty. She sat on the counter, idly twirling her stake as she waited for Giles. After a moment, she looked beside her, seeing an open shipping box beside her. She peeked in, finding it full of books. Needing a way to pass the time, Buffy set the stake by the register and pulled out a book, frowning as she read the title: Skulls, Crossbones, and Desire.

The cover, with its chesty heroine being clasped by an over muscled pirate made the genre of this particular tome quite evident. "When did Giles start selling romance novels?" she wondered aloud before shrugging and turning to the first page.

It was the sort of night that chilled one to the bone. The young maiden wrapped her cloak tightly around her to guard against the cold sea winds, her nipples pressing against the fabric of her bodice.

Buffy rolled her eyes. Two sentences in, and it was already bordering on raunchy. She didn't see why anyone would be interested in this stuff. It was horrible. She kept reading.

"Whatcha readin', Slayer?"

Buffy jumped, her eyes wide. "Spike! What the hell are you doing here?"

"Lookin' for you. Wanted to ask if the nibblet was all right." He gave her a wicked grin. "That must be some book to get you so caught up you didn't even hear me come in."

"I…I was just waiting for Giles. I wasn't really reading it."

"Uh huh. What's the title?"

"It's…I didn't pay attention."

"Right. Give it here."

"No!" Buffy said, backing away from Spike.

"If you're not reading it, Slayer, then you shouldn't mind if I take a look at it."

"I do mind! I mind because…because…you can't be trusted with the merchandise!" Spike rolled his eyes and snatched the book out of her hand. "Hey!" Buffy cried in protest as Spike ran behind the counter to keep her from reclaiming the novel

Spike flipped to the middle, laughing as he read aloud in a breathy falsetto, "Oh, I just can't resist you! I must ride you like the lusty stallion you are!"

"Give it back, you, you—pervert!" Buffy cried, jumping over the counter to get to him as Spike continued to read.

"Her bosom heaved as he wrapped his arm around her to pull her close, his lips descending on hers, overwhelming her with his pleasing, masculine taste. She moaned, melting as he…"

Buffy grabbed the book, trying to pull it from Spike's tight grasp. Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light, and Buffy raised her free hand to shield her eyes.

The book fell to the ground, leaving the Magic Box empty once more.

*** *** ***

Buffy woke with a splitting headache. And to make things worse, the room was spinning. She frowned. No, not spinning. It was rocking. Why was the room rocking?

And furthermore, why was she in this room at all?

"Oh, thank goodness you are awake. I was beginning to fear you would never come to."

Buffy sat up, clutching her head. At least that voice was familiar. "Giles? Where are we?"

"Try not to speak, Lady Elizabeth. It will only tire you. We can discuss our current situation when you are better rested."

Buffy removed her hands from her head, glancing over at Giles. He looked like her Watcher. He sounded like her Watcher. But why was he wearing those funny clothes? Her gaze darted down. Why was she wearing funny clothes? Had someone gotten into the possessed Halloween costumes again?

Just then, the door burst open, and Spike came bounding in. Buffy frowned. He was wearing funny clothes, too. And why in the world was his hair long? "Buffy!" he announced, his tone scarily chipper, "We're on a pirate ship. And get this—I'm the captain! There's a whole mess of pirates out there that'll do anything I say!"

Buffy buried her face in her hands with a whimper, wishing she would wake up but knowing at the same time that everything was too vivid to be just a dream. Somehow, someway, she'd ended up trapped on a pirate ship with Captain Spike and crazy Giles.

Why did these things always have to happen to her?

*** *** ***

This is a lot shorter than my normal chapters, I know, but I wanted to see what sort of response I got before I really started work on it. So, If you want to see more of this—or don't, either one—let me know. If I get a bunch of reviews telling me you're interested in this one, then I'll continue. (Ah, blackmail—gotta love it.)

Spike knew he should be more concerned about the fact that he'd been sucked into what was apparently some sort of alternate dimension—especially since he'd first appeared in sunlight and had not consequently burst into flames. But as soon as he figured out he was captain of a pirate ship, any possible worries went out the proverbial window. That chip had restricted him from getting his evil on back in Sunnydale, but he was sure there was all kinds of mayhem he could cause as a pirate captain.

The Slayer, on the other hand, seemed less than thrilled. She was sitting on a cot with her face buried in her hands. Spike wanted to just leave her there, go back on to the deck and exercise his newfound captain powers. Instead, he walked over to her, sitting beside Buffy on the cot and putting his hand on her shoulder. "You all right?" he asked.

"No she's not bloody all right!" Giles yelled. "You attacked her ship and kidnapped her, you, you brigand!"

Spike shrugged. He certainly didn't remember doing that, but being a pirate now, he figured it was something he would do. Buffy, on the other hand, looked up sharply. "When did that happen?"

"Oh dear. You must've gotten a blow to the head. It's despicable the way you and your men would treat a lady."

Spike glanced between Giles and Buffy. Buffy seemed to be the same Buffy he'd always known, while Giles was different. "Who are you?" Spike asked Giles.

"I am Lord Rupert Giles," he replied, puffing his chest up. "You seemed fully aware of that when you illegally boarded my ship, pillaging it and taking both my ward and me hostage."

"I'm your what?" Buffy asked.

Giles looked stricken. "Lady Elizabeth, do you remember anything?"

"I…things are fuzzy," Buffy replied. After all, that was partly true.

Spike pulled Buffy up by her arm. "Need to talk to you for a moment."

"You are not taking her from my sight!" Giles yelled.

"Oi—pirate captain here. I'll do what I want!" Spike brought Buffy back on to the deck, shutting the cabin door behind him and leaning on it so Giles couldn't get out, despite his constant banging. "Any clue to what's going on here, Slayer?"

"This sounds a bit insane, but I think we're in that novel."

"Insane is the norm on the Hellmouth, pet. Any theories on why Giles doesn't seem as, um, aware as we do?"

Buffy frowned. "Not unless…not unless it isn't actually Giles."

"Who would it be then? Pod Giles? Clone Giles?"

"No." Buffy chewed on her bottom lip. "We were the only two in the shop when this happened. So maybe we're the only two people who are actually here."

"Then why does he look like Giles? And call himself Rupert Giles for that matter?"

"I don't know! It's all…" Buffy stopped. "You're in the sunlight."

"Yep. Neat, huh? I think my heart's beating, too."

"So you're human?" Buffy asked.

"I suppose. I tried making myself all fangy, but it didn't work."

"Do you have a soul?" Buffy asked quickly.

"Well, no great desire to brood. Still want to cause chaos and destruction. Nope, I'm thinking I'm soulless." He gave Buffy a wide grin.

"This has got to all be superficial," Buffy said. "Something generated by magic."

"Gee, you think."

"Uh, captain, why is the lady outside of the cabin?"

Buffy and Spike turned around to see a dark-haired man with an eye patch. "We were having a discussion…Xander?" Spike replied, recognizing the pirate.

"William, as your first mate, I think I should tell ye—some of the others are a bit concerned to see ya talkin' to the lady so nicely. Not good for the reputation of William the Bloody."

Spike frowned. "Hmm. Good point." He turned back to Buffy. "We'll have to finish this at some other time, luv. I have important pirate duties and whatnot." He grabbed her by the arm again, throwing her back into the cabin. Once he had secured the chain on the door, he turned back to Xander. "That better?"

"Aye."

"So, we planning some big pillage somewhere?" Spike asked, rubbing his hands together.

"We were going to hold the lady for ransom," Xander replied, giving Spike a puzzled look.

"Right. Um, why are we doing that again?"

"Because her fiancé is an admiral in the Royal Navy, and you hate the Royal Navy. Have ye been out in the sun too long, Will?"

"No. It's just…been a long day." Spike started walking off with Xander, ignoring Buffy's yelling from inside the cabin. Sure, they'd figure out a way to get back sooner or later, but right now there were just too many opportunities for fun. "So you think we could work a bit of pillaging into the schedule?" Spike asked. "I want to burn something."

*** *** ***

Buffy sat on her cot in the cabin, cursing Spike every way she could think of. Lord Rupert had informed her that she was not behaving as a lady should, but the look she'd given him had put an end to that. She had tried numerous times to break the door, but hadn't had any luck. It appeared that her Slayer strength had gone the way of Spike's vampirism. Just what she needed to make this day even better.

Eventually, the door opened and Buffy stood, ready to give Spike a piece of her mind. She frowned when she realized it wasn't him, but a young man who looked strangely familiar, although this one Buffy couldn't quite place. "Where's Spike?" Buffy asked.

The man blinked. "Excuse me? Spike? I don't have any Spikes." He held up a tray. "Just dinner for you and the old man."

"I am not old," Giles scoffed from the corner.

"Captain William," Buffy clarified, rolling her eyes.

"He's dining with the others," the man replied. "Last I saw, they were getting drunk, like filthy men. Er, which I am one of, of course. I am a filthy man who loves to get drunk."

Buffy frowned. This was a very strange person. And the familiar thing was still niggling at her mind. "Do you have a name?"

"Jenkins."

"Well, Jenkins, could you tell the captain that I wish to see him as soon as possible?"

"He said you'd tell me that," Jenkins replied. "Said you'd be whining about your 'accommodations.' He also told me to tell you to 'hold your soddin' horses, and he'll deal with it later.'" Jenkins smiled at the end of the recitation of the message, complete with an imitation of Spike's accent.

"Well, you can tell the captain that if he doesn't come and talk to me soon, I'm going to break his nose—for starters."

"The captain won't like that. I've seen the cruel things he can do, even to pretty women like you."

"I don't care about that, or his stupid reputation," Buffy replied, her hands on her hips. "I just want to get out of here!"

"Oh, don't worry about that," Jenkins said with a smile. "You're going to get out of here just as soon as Admiral Finn pays the ransom money. Unless the captain decides to just kill you, that is. Which is a very real possibility. He's killed lots of people."

Buffy's eyes grew wide as she realized something for the first time. Spike could kill her. She didn't have her powers. There was a good chance he wasn't affected by the chip. And even if he was, he had a whole crew who would be willing to string her up, or make her walk the plank, or whatever else Spike could think of. She was at the mercy of someone who had wanted to kill her for the better part of three years. For the first time in a long time, Buffy felt helpless—and at the mercy of Spike, no less. She sat back on the cot.

Jenkins held the tray in front of her. "Don't you want to eat?"

"I'm not hungry. Give it to Giles."

Jenkins shrugged and complied, bring the tray of food over to Lord Rupert, setting it in his lap. Then, with a smile, the pirate left the cabin, the sound of chains rattling outside letting Buffy know that they were indeed being locked back in.

Giles walked over to Buffy, tray in hand. "You should eat, you know. I understand that it must be difficult with this trying ordeal, but it will not be any easier if you starve yourself."

Buffy looked up into the face that was so similar to the one of her Watcher. Despite the comfort of familiarity, she knew it wasn't her Giles, and it just made this all the worse. Sure, this whole thing may be fun to Spike, but she just wanted to go home. She was stuck in a strange place, at the mercy of a vampire she hated, and the corset she was wearing was really starting to pinch.

Lord Rupert sat the tray down between them, patting Buffy on the shoulder awkwardly. "I won't allow him to hurt you, Elizabeth. I promised your mother on her deathbed that I would see to it that no harm came to you, and I plan to uphold that promise."

Hearing Giles refer to her mother as being dead made Buffy's heart clench. After coming so close to losing her in her own reality, the thought of Joyce being gone in another one scared her. She wanted nothing more than to be home right now, curled up on the couch with her mother and sister. But instead she was trapped on a stupid pirate ship, cold, tired, and wondering if Spike was going to throw her to the bottom of Davy Jones' Locker.

She sighed as she picked up some food from the tray.

*** *** ***

When Spike finally made his way back to the cabin late that night, Buffy and Giles were both asleep—her on the cot, and him in a chair in the far corner. He knelt beside Buffy, shaking her until her eyes opened. "Spike!" she hissed. "It's about time you showed up."

"Sorry, pet. Got a bit caught up. This whole pirate thing is just as bloody great as I thought it would be."

"Glad you're having a good time," Buffy said sarcastically as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. "I hate it."

"Jenkins said you were a bit feisty when she brought you your dinner."

"Well, yeah, I…wait, did you say she? I thought Jenkins was a boy."

Spike tisked. "Not recognizing your own friends? Now that's bloody pathetic. Jenkins is Anya. I'm guessing she just dressed like a man to get on the ship."

Buffy frowned. Now that she thought about it, Jenkins was the last name Anya had made for herself once she became human. And it did explain that 'filthy men' comment earlier. "Have you seen anyone else around that we know?"

"There's a quiet pirate, was playing music earlier. Think he might be that dog boy Red was into for a while. Other than that, no. Oh, and you're engaged to some admiral. Could be Captain Cardboard."

"An—Jenkins called him Admiral Finn, so I'd suppose so. This is weird."

"Tell me about it."

"So how are we going to get back?" Buffy asked.

"Get back? What makes you think I want to rush back to Sunnydale? I can be evil here." Spike grinned.

"But I hate it here! I'm locked up, this dress is torture, and I don't have my powers!" Buffy clamped her hand over her mouth when she realized what she'd admitted to Spike.

To her surprise, he didn't gloat about how she'd be so much easier to kill now. "Yeah, I'm sort of missing my vamp strength. I forgot how bloody heavy things can be. Oh, and the speed, too. But I also seem not to have the chip, so it's a tradeoff. Although I suppose for you, things are just bad all around."

"I can't even break that lousy wooden door," Buffy replied with a pout.

"Don't worry about it too much, Slayer. You got a fearsome pirate lookin' out for you, after all."

Buffy blinked. "You're looking out for me?"

"Well, yeah. What else would I do?"

"I sort of thought you'd kill me, seeing as you can and all."

Spike shook his head. "We're in this together. Could end up bad for me if you were dead. Besides, if I ever were to kill you, I'd want it to be the right way—vampire versus Slayer."

"Gee, how sweet."

"Look, there's nothing to be worried about. We'll get home soon enough. Just let me have a bit of fun first."

Buffy crossed her arms in front of her. "But what about me? Spike, I need to be back in Sunnydale. What if Glory finds Dawn while we're here? I should be protecting her!"

Spike frowned. He hadn't thought of that. And as much as he hated to admit it, he cared. "Balls," he muttered under his breath. "Fine, we'll find a way out of here. But you owe me, Slayer."

"I owe you? Hey, if anything you owe me for not dusting your sorry ass the moment you showed up on the doorstep."

"Oi! Be nice. You're the damsel in distress here, remember?"

Buffy shifted uncomfortably. She did remember. And she hated it. "Let's just get out of here."

"Any plans?"

Buffy frowned, thinking for a moment. "The book! Did you have the book when you showed up here?"

"No," Spike replied, shaking his head. "And I haven't seen one around either."

"You're not just saying that, are you?"

"Bloody hell, woman, I told you I'd help you get out of here! I'm not gonna go withholding information."

"Fine. No book. Maybe we could just jump off the side of the boat. It might bring us back to reality or something."

"Or it could leave us in possibly shark-infested water. I'm not comfortable with that chance, Slayer."

"But it could…"

"You can't help Dawn if you're eaten by sharks, Buffy."

"You know, I really hate it when you make sense." Buffy pouted, resting her chin on her fists. "This sucks. We have no plan."

"We could look around the ship," Spike said. "Most of the crew is asleep. Well, passed out drunk is more like it. Maybe we could find some way back."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, some sort of swirly vortex or something. I'm not really an interdimensional travel expert, you know."

Buffy stood. It was as good a plan as any. "All right. Let's go exploring."

*** *** ***

Giles walked around the Magic Box, frowning as he spotted no sign of Buffy. He thought she may be in the training room, but he couldn't find her there either. He went behind the counter and picked up the phone, calling Buffy's house, only to find she hadn't made it home.

Fear gripping him, Giles hurried out of the shop in hopes of finding his Slayer, not noticing as he kicked a small paperback book under the counter in his haste.

*** *** ***

Sorry for the delay in updates. I was out of town for Christmas, and then I had company. But I should be able to return to a more regular posting schedule now.

Hope you're enjoying the fic. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. Keep letting me know what you think!

Spike and Buffy began their exploration of the ship, searching for anything that might give them a clue as to how to get home. So far, they'd been unsuccessful.

Buffy glanced around nervously as they walked, a slight tinge of fear in her eyes that Spike had never seen there before. He put his hand on her shoulder, and she jumped. "Easy, pet. It's all right. I told you I'm going to help you out."

Buffy pushed his hand off of her. "Somehow the idea of you helping me doesn't exactly fill me with feelings of warmth and security, Spike."

"Look, Slayer," Spike replied, his eyes narrowing. "I may be a lot of things, but I do have a spot of honor. If I say I'm going to help you, then I'm bloody well going to carry through on that."

"Fine. I'll take great comfort in the fact that my mortal enemy is watching my back."

"Had no problem trusting your 'mortal enemy' with your mum and little sis not too long ago."

"That was different. You were the only person strong enough to protect them, and I knew you couldn't hurt them."

"Couldn't or wouldn't, pet? Chip wouldn't have stopped me from feeding them to the first vamp I saw."

Buffy looked at him in horror. "You wouldn't…"

"Exactly. Wouldn't. Not every vampire is as twisted as your ex, Slayer. Some of us are capable of behaving like something other than sadistic psychopaths. Now come on, we have a lot more ship to search."

Buffy stopped short even as Spike walked on. She'd never thought about him being able to cause any real damage with the chip, but suddenly that seemed incredibly naïve. Her mind drifted for a moment to Harmony. Buffy was almost positive Harmony was still around, doing hell knew what with Spike. Granted, Harmony was about as incompetent as they came, but with Joyce and Dawn alone in Spike's crypt, could they have been at the mercy of the blonde vampiress? Would Spike have done anything to protect them then? And what if Glory had shown up at Spike's crypt, looking for the Key. The chip certainly wouldn't have stopped Spike from handing Buffy's family over to the hellgod.

"Hello, Slayer? Planning to start walking again any time soon, or have you grown particularly fond of that spot?"

Buffy blinked, realizing that Spike had stopped and was facing her, arms crossed. "Oh, sorry. I was, um…the stars are pretty."

Spike chuckled, shaking his head. "As tough as you are, you can be such a girl sometimes."

Buffy planted her hands on her hips. "And what's wrong with that?"

Spike leered at her, smirking at Buffy's sudden blush. "Nothing, kitten. Nothing at all."

"What's the little filly doing out of her cabin, cap'n?"

Buffy and Spike both turned suddenly to see a small, filthy pirate eyeing them warily. Buffy's nose wrinkled at the man's unpleasant odor. Spike grabbed Buffy's arm. "Takin' her back to my cabin for a bit of fun," Spike replied.

Buffy snatched her arm away from Spike, almost as a reflex. "I'm not letting you touch me!"

Spike gave Buffy a pained look then grabbed her, throwing her over his shoulder. "Women," he told the pirate, "do not know when it's best to keep their bleedin' mouths shut and just do as they're told."

"Aye," the pirate agreed. "You think maybe you'll be sharin' the lady when you're done with her, cap'n?"

Spike couldn't resist teasing Buffy a bit more, even as she squirmed in a futile attempt to get down. "I might. Although by then she won't be much of a lady anymore, now will she?" Spike and the pirate shared a laugh, drowning out Buffy's cry of outrage.

"Well, you break 'er in real good for us then," the pirate said, slapping Buffy on the bottom.

Spike pushed down the surge of possessiveness that made him want to rip off the other man's arm and beat him to death with it for daring to touch Buffy like that. "Will do," he said, forcing a grin. "Now if you'll excuse us…"

"Course, cap'n. Know you got a long night ahead…"

Spike nodded, walking towards the cabin he'd earlier discovered to be his. Buffy struggled to get out of his grasp until he said, "You know, Slayer, all that's doing is wriggling that cute little arse of your in my face."

"Pig," Buffy muttered. Her wiggling stopped.

Once Spike got her to his cabin, he put her down and shut the door. "That was bloody stupid, Slayer."

"What was I supposed to do with you saying those things?"

"Gee, I don't know—play along?"

"But I didn't want him thinking we're in here doing that."

"What bloody difference does it make? He's probably not even real!"

Buffy crossed her arms angrily. "But the things you were saying were just gross, Spike."

"I was playing the part! What did you want me to say?" Spike affected a slightly different accent, sounding more like Giles than his normal self, "Excuse me, good sir, but we're in search of an interdimensional portal. Have you perchance seen one laying about?" Spike moved closer to her, his tone darkening again. "We're not in your world now, Slayer. You don't have all the power—or any at all, actually. As far as anyone here is concerned, you're nothing but the hostage of a pirate. You can't throw around punches and insults to get your way. You're just a weak, helpless little girl."

Spike expected Buffy to yell at him, or possibly even hit him despite his pointing out that that wouldn't do any good. Instead, she sat down on the edge of his bunk and began to cry. Spike frowned. "Uh, Slayer, when I said you needed to be all weak-like, I didn't mean you had to start right this second."

"But you're right!" Buffy said, sniffling. "I'm weak, and I'm helpless, and my friends and family are out there at Glory's mercy. I can't do anything!"

"Welcome to the club, Slayer," Spike muttered.

Buffy looked up at him, confused for a moment before she realized what he meant. "Is this what it's like for you with the chip?"

"A bit, yeah. Going from the biggest and baddest on the block to not even being able to defend yourself takes a bit of, well, adjusting."

"I think I'm starting to see why you were so happy when you found out you could hurt demons." At the smirk Spike gave her, Buffy quickly added, "Not that I get off on violence the way you do."

"Sure you don't. You can't tell me that our old fights didn't get your motor running at least a little."

Her tears gone for the time being, Buffy rolled her eyes. "Ego much, Spike?"

Spike tapped his nose. "Vampire, luv. I always knew the effect I had on you."

"Ew!" Buffy replied trying her hardest—albeit unsuccessfully—not to blush. "Majorly gross—and also really, really delusional."

"Believe what you want, Slayer, but I'm not the one here with delusions."

Buffy held up her hand. "Can we not talk about this anymore? We have more important things to discuss than your twisted little fantasies. We need to get back out there and search the ship some more."

"We can't."

"What do you mean we can't? You said you'd help me!"

"I know what I said, and I still plan to make good on that. But short an' smelly thinks I'm in here making with the debauchery."

"So?"

"So, if he sees us wandering the ship again, it'll blow our cover."

"But you're the captain! Can't you just do whatever you want?"

"Buffy," Spike said, obviously frustrated, "acting suspiciously will only make this whole thing more difficult. We have no sodding clue what's going on here. I think it's safe to say it has something to do with that book, but we don't know who put it in the shop or why. And as far as this place goes, we don't know who any of these people are. Sure, some of them look like your friends, but they don't seem to be aware that anything's wrong like we do. They could just look the way they do in order to lull us into a false sense of security. We really can't push against the flow right now. We need to play along, at least until we figure a bit more out."

"Oh my god. I'm an emotional mess, and you're making sense. This is hell. That's what happened—that book was a portal to a hell dimension." Buffy frowned. "I wonder if this one has shrimp…"

"Shrimp? What are you… Never mind. And I don't think this is a hell dimension. If it was, there'd probably be little demons eating our livers or something."

"Hell dimension or now, I don't like it."

"Buffy, we'll get out of here, and Dawn will be fine."

"How come I don't feel at all confident about that?"

"Because you're the most pessimistic person in the world despite the fact you always win?"

"Hey!"

"That wasn't really an insult, you know. Not all of it, anyway."

"It still wasn't all that nice." Buffy yawned.

"Tired, Slayer?"

"No." She yawned again. "Okay, maybe a little."

"We probably should get some rest. Keep our strength up. Lie down and scoot over."

Buffy eyes widened when she realized what he meant. "We are not both sleeping here, Spike."

"What? You can't very well go back to your cabin—debauchery cover, remember?"

"Well, you're not sleeping here."

"Where am I supposed to sleep then?"

Buffy pointed to a wooden chair across the room. "There."

"No bloody way. That think looks more uncomfortable than those damn sarcophaguses in my crypt."

"We are not sharing a bed."

"Oh, grow up. I'm not going to try anything. There's enough room in the bed, and there's no reason not to just be adults about the whole thing."

Buffy frowned. "Fine. But you try anything, and I swear you're dust as soon as we get back to Sunnydale."

"And oh, that just makes me want to help you even more. Lie down, Slayer."

Buffy grumbled, lying down and scooting as close to the wall as she could. Spike joined her, closing his eyes without as much as giving her a glance. He tried to sleep, but every few seconds, Buffy shifted. Finally, he opened his eyes again, sighing heavily. "What's wrong?"

"It's this dress. I can't sleep in it."

"You were sleeping just fine in it earlier this evening."

"Well now I can't!"

"Bloody hell," Spike muttered, getting up. He went over to a chest, dug around for a bit, then tossed a long shirt to Buffy. "Here, sleepin in this."

"But it's your shirt."

"You are the most difficult…" Spike's jaw clenched. "Buffy, we've been here for a day. I've never worn the sodding shirt. Put it on."

"Turn around." Spike did as she said, rolling his eyes skyward as he did. A few moments later, he heard Buffy say his name. "What now?"

"I, um, can't get out of this dress."

"Are you going to threaten me for helping you out of it?"

"Um…no. But again, if you try anything…"

"We get back to Sunnydale, and I fit in an ashtray. I've got it. Come here."

Buffy walked over to Spike, turning her back to him nervously. Spike sucked in a deep breath, trying to undress her with as much detachment as he could. It wouldn't do for him to react to Buffy now when he couldn't do anything about it. "Arms up, pet," he said.

"Why?"

"So I can lift the dress over your head," Spike replied, his tone exasperated.

"Oh, right." Buffy lifted her arms, and Spike pulled the dress up. He swallowed at the sight of her bare back. "Can you get the rest of it off then?"

"Yeah. Turn back around."

Spike nodded and turned around, wishing more than anything that he had access to a cold shower. Maybe he would go for a swim in those possibly-shark-infested waters. He heard the bed creak, and a moment later Buffy said, "I'm decent."

Spike nodded, this time taking off his boots and belt before joining her on the bed. "I really hate these clothes," he said.

"I don't know, I think they suit you," Buffy said with a giggle. "And at least you don't have to wear a corset and five million skirts. Walking has been a chore."

"You just be thankful you don't have one of those gigantic wigs to go with them."

"Ugh. I think my neck would break off." Spike chuckled softly, and Buffy glanced over at him. She knew it should be weird, sharing a bed with him, but despite her earlier protests, it really wasn't so bad. And he was—surprisingly—being a gentleman about it. He hadn't even copped a feel when he was helping her out of her dress. "Thank you."

"For what? Taking off your clothes, cause…"

"Stop right there. You were being halfway decent, and finishing that sentence will so ruin that. But I meant thank you for, well, helping me instead of killing me."

"Might need you to get out of here. Just watching my own back, Slayer."

"But you didn't want to leave."

"I could eventually."

Buffy regarded him for a moment in the dim light. For some reason, that answer didn't ring true to her, despite the fact that she knew that should logically be the only reason Spike would bother to help her instead of killing her like he'd always wanted to. "Well, um, thank you anyway," she said.

"You really should get some sleep. Who knows what we'll have to face tomorrow."

"Yeah. Good night, Spike."

"'Night, Slayer."

*** *** ***

Just so you know, even if there are breaks between posts, I haven't abandoned any of my stories. Classes have started again, and I have a really full schedule. I will try to post as often as I can, however, hopefully at least once a week for any story I'm currently working on. I'll do more if I can, but I can't make any promises. I have five classes and work, and some of my days go literally from 8 am until 7 pm.

Review please!

Chapter 4:

The look on Giles's face told Joyce as soon as she opened the door that something was wrong. "Is Buffy here?" Giles asked.

"No. You didn't find her either, I take it."

"No," Giles replied, stepping inside the house.

"You didn't…you didn't find any signs of Glory, did you?"

Giles shook his head. "Nothing overt. But if Glory simply grabbed her, then…" He trailed off, noticing the look of worry on Joyce's face. "I'm sure Buffy's fine."

"Which is why you've got that wild, nervous look in your eyes, right?"

Giles sighed. "I am worried, but Buffy's taken longer to patrol before. She may have simply run into something that took up more time than she was anticipating."

"Is that a nice way of saying my daughter is probably somewhere fighting for her life?"

"Well, not quite that extreme… Perhaps we should call some of the others, see if they've heard anything?"

"Good idea," Joyce replied as she and Giles walked towards the telephone.

*** *** ***

Buffy woke curled up against a warm body, a heartbeat sounding steadily beneath her ear. Strong arms were wrapped around her waist, keeping her in place. For a moment as she drifted through that place between sleep and wakefulness, she found nothing about this position to be out of the ordinary, still accustomed enough to waking up next to Riley.

But as she became more aware, she remembered that Riley was gone. Besides, the body she was nestled against was too tight, too compact to be Riley. The events of the previous day came back to her, and who exactly it was she was currently using as a pillow became blazingly clear. Buffy's eyes popped open, confirming that it was indeed Spike.

Her initial impulse was to jump away from him, but the novelty of hearing a heartbeat emanating from his chest kept her in place. She reached up and touched his cheek, fascinated by the warmth—the life—she felt in his skin.

"That tickles, you know."

Buffy pulled her hand back as if burnt. "Spike! You're awake."

"Wasn't until you started going all Helen Keller on me," Spike mumbled, shifting a little. "Something on your mind pet?"

"You're alive."

"Well, yeah. Would explain the whole 'not bursting into flames thing' when I'm on deck. Besides, we already discussed the fact that I don't seem to be a vampire here—just like you're not exactly in prime Slayer condition."

Buffy winced slightly at his reminder of her newfound weakness, but she decided not to dwell on it. "I know, but now—hearing your heartbeat, feeling your warm skin—makes it seem all that more real, y'know?" Buffy pulled away from him. "But it's not real. None of this is real. We're stuck in some trashy book."

"Can't be all that trashy."

"What makes you say that?"

"'Cause we're not shagging."

Buffy frowned. "You're a pig, Spike."

"Do you ever plan to come up with any new insults for me?"

"I prefer to stick with the classics."

Spike folded his hands behind his head. "Suit yourself. But the timid young maiden being ravished by the sexy pirate captain—sounds like fun to me."

"Hey! I'm not timid—or a maiden for that matter. And that's not my kind of fun."

"It's not, huh? No wonder Cap'n Cardboard ran off to play G.I. Joe in the jungle." Spike could've kicked himself as soon as the words were out of his mouth, and the pain on Buffy's face made the regret even stronger. "Buffy, I'm sorry. I didn't…"

Buffy climbed out of the bunk, picking up her clothes from the floor. She struggled to put the corset back on for a moment before throwing it to the ground, tears in her eyes. Spike came up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders, but she pushed him away. "Don't touch me."

"Look, Slayer, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I say dumb things sometimes. You know me—I just open my mouth and out pops just about anything. I'm sure the git's leaving had nothing to do with your skills in bed."

Buffy made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "No, you're first observation was probably closer to the truth. After all, why else would he run off to get bitten by vampires?"

"That didn't necessarily have anything to do with sex…" Spike said, wincing as he knew his tone was anything but convincing.

Buffy turned around, tears shimmering in her eyes. "Please. You're a vampire—most of the time anyway—so you know what a bite can do to a human. And don't go trying to tell me otherwise, because I know, too."

"Riley's an idiot, Buffy. Any man who wouldn't be satisfied with you is."

"No man's ever been satisfied with me, Spike. Not Angel, not Parker, not Riley. I don't know what's wrong with me, but there has to be something."

"Or maybe there's something wrong with them, Buffy. Riley, as I've said, is an idiot. Parker was obvious a wanker that did that to all the girls, and Angel…well, if I listed off all his issues we'd both be old and gray by the time I finished."

Buffy shook her head. She hated being this vulnerable around Spike, but at the same time she felt like she couldn't help it. She felt scared and lost, and he was the only person around who she really knew, physical appearances of some of other people on the ship not withstanding. "I'm starting to think I could never be enough for anyone," she admitted softly.

Spike took a step closer to her. "You'd be enough for me."

Buffy's eyes grew wide, and she backed away from him. "What did you just say?"

"I uh…I was just trying to make you feel better. Not like it was a declaration of love or something, Slayer. No point in getting your knickers in a twist about it." Spike chuckled nervously.

"I should go back to Giles. Or Pod Giles. Or whoever he is. He's probably worrying. Pacing, cleaning his glasses, mumbling 'oh dear'—the whole shebang."

"Right. So you need help getting that corset back on, or…"

Buffy looked down at the garment in question in disgust. "I really, really don't want to."

"I have an extra coat. You could throw it over what you're wearing now, should be enough to make you decent. Eighteenth-century style underwear is a far cry from your usual thongs."

Buffy eyed him skeptically. "How do you know I wear thongs?"

Spike internally berated himself for saying one dumb thing after another all morning. The last thing he needed Buffy to know about was his little excursions into her underwear drawer… "Uh…lack of panty lines?" he replied.

"You pay that much attention to my butt?"

"Look, do you want the coat or not?"

Buffy glanced at the corset and her dress again. As much as the idea of running around a ship full of pirates in what was essentially her underwear was unpleasant, the thought of squeezing back into that outfit was worse. She couldn't breathe, and the dress had to weigh a ton. "Fine, I'll take the coat."

Spike went over to the chest and got the coat, bringing it back to Buffy. She muttered a "thank you" as she wrapped it around herself. He then put his boots back on and led her back to the cabin where Giles was, Buffy's face flaming as the other pirates made catcalls and obscene comments. When he started to go into the cabin with her, Buffy put her hand out, stopping him.

"You have a ship to captain."

Spike looked at her, confused. "But what about trying to get out of here?"

"Come back later, when there are less people around."

"Buffy…"

"I'm fine. Go play pirate."

"I'll look around for anything that could…"

"Yeah. Let me know if you find something."

Buffy shut the cabin door, and Spike stared at it for a moment. He cursed himself again for all the holes he'd stumbled into this morning by opening his mouth. He turned around, seeing that most of the crew was watching him. "Get back to work!" he called out, storming angrily back towards his own cabin.

*** *** ***

"Lady Elizabeth! You're back! I was so worried about what that vile, contemptible wretch was doing to you."

Buffy sat down on her bunk. "I'm fine, Giles. The 'wretch' didn't do a thing."

Lord Rupert looked at her for a moment. "But you're wearing his jacket—and his shirt? Where is your dress?"

"On his cabin floor," Buffy muttered.

Lord Rupert sat down again, immediately proceeding with a thorough glasses cleaning. "He's…he's compromised your virtue?"

Buffy snorted. "Gallons and gallons of no."

"Pardon me?" Lord Rupert blinked, unsure of what to make of her response.

"That was a no. As in he didn't do anything to my virtue."

Lord Rupert scratched his head. He couldn't imagine a situation where a man such as William the Bloody would take a woman for the night and not do anything to compromise her. Perhaps his ward was too unfamiliar with what took place between a man and a woman to understand what had happened. "Are you quite sure? He didn't…"

"Look, Giles, I may be a damsel here with the weakness and the swooning, but I think I'd notice that. We slept. I had my clothes on, he had his clothes on. End of story." Buffy muttered under her breath. This was all enough of a hassle without having someone fretting about her "virtue."

"I am quite relieved to hear that. I have worried since I discovered you were no longer here. I know you have led a sheltered life and know nothing of these things, Elizabeth, but men like him, they do things to women that are dastardly and vile."

Buffy stifled a giggle. She thought that anything Spike would do to her might be a bit on the "dastardly" side, but she doubted it could possibly classify as "vile." When she realized what she'd just thought, any desire to giggle promptly vanished. Anything with Spike would be vile. It was Spike. Current heartbeat not withstanding, he was still as disgusting as ever. They'd get out of here, and he'd go back to being nothing but a soulless vampire—just like the ones she staked everyday. Definitely no reason to think of him as anything else.

Buffy ignored the little voice in the back of her mind that loved to remind her that Spike was not like the other vampires she encountered on a daily basis. That he was nothing if not unique.

"Did he discuss what he plans to do with us?" Lord Rupert asked after a moment, breaking the silence.

"No," Buffy replied. "But he'd not going to kill us, so don't worry about that."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes." And she was. Somehow, any worry she'd had earlier that Spike might take advantage of this situation in order to kill his third Slayer had passed. He'd demonstrated behavior pointing towards the exact opposite.

What Buffy found even more surprising was that she was now wishing she'd remained with him instead of returning to the cabin with pseudo-Giles. Her uneasiness over his comments before had passed, and she felt a desire to see him again. Unbidden, her mind kept replaying everything she'd felt waking up with him that morning, how good it had been to be in his arms.

Buffy shook her head. Those weren't good thoughts to have. Warm, fuzzy Spike thoughts were definitely of the bad. She lay back on the bunk. "I'm going to rest for a while. I have a headache."

"I will keep myself quiet for you, then," Lord Rupert replied.

Buffy nodded slightly, then rolled over towards the wall. She tried to fall back asleep, but found it impossible as her mind kept bringing her back to Spike.

*** *** ***

Sorry this one was sort of short, but I wanted to post it tonight, and I have an early class I should be getting sleep for.

Reviews would be lovely.
 

Chapter 5:

"Are ya not enjoyin' yerself, captain?"

Spike stared into his ale, really wishing the Xander-pirate would go away. "I'm enjoying myself just fine," he mumbled.

"Doesn't look like it to me. Did the wench not please ya last night?"

Spike glanced up. "Wench?"

"Aye. That pretty little filly you brought to you cabin last night. Was she not as pleasin' as she looks?"

Spike growled, reaching up to grab Xander by the throat. "Don't talk about her like that," he snarled. "Lady Elizabeth is a proper young woman."

Xander's eyes bulged as he gasped for breath. When he thought his point had gotten across, Spike let go, staring into his drink again. "I will keep in mind from now on that she is indeed a proper lady," Xander said, rubbing his throat.

"You do that, whelp," Spike replied. He pushed down the urge to hurt Xander some more, knowing that it would accomplish nothing, and that his anger wasn't really at the boy anyway.  Part of him wanted to be angry at Buffy, but honestly, he knew he was really angry at himself. Strange circumstances aside, he was away from the Hellmouth—away from that bloody chip—and yet all he could think about was Buffy. He was willing to pass up his chance to do some real violence again, just because she needed his help.

And to make matters worse, he'd just gone so far as to defend her honor. It wasn't like she was a blushing virgin by any means. But hearing someone belittle her—even this strange version of Xander—was enough to set him on edge.

Spike stood, shoving the chair under the table as he did. For a second, all eyes were on him, but as he turned to leave, everyone went back to what they were doing before the captain had made his abrupt mood shift.

Spike stopped when he got on the deck, closing his eyes and sucking in a deep breath. He walked to the side of the ship, looking out over the water. The sun's rays danced on the blue surface, and Spike felt his anger fading. He hadn't paid much attention to it the day before, but now he remembered just how beautiful the sun was. He went to Buffy's cabin, pulling her out by her arm amidst protests from both Buffy and Lord Rupert.

"What's your deal?" Buffy asked as she pulled away from Spike.

"I want you to see this," he said, leading her over to where he'd been standing earlier.

"What? The ocean? It's very, um, watery."

"No," Spike said with a shake of his head. "Not the water. The light."

"The light? What are you…" Buffy stopped short when she realized what he meant. "The sun."

"Yeah."

Buffy smiled. "It must be nice to see it again after all these years."

Spike turned away from the ocean to look at Buffy. His breath caught in his throat as he saw the sun's rays dance on her golden hair. He reached out tentatively, touching a strand that had fallen in front of her eyes. "The smile of her I love is like the dawn whose touch makes Memnon sing. O see where wide the golden sunlight flows."

Buffy blinked, gaping. Had Spike been replaced by one of whatever the Giles-looking thing in her cabin was. "What did you just say?"

Spike jumped back. What the hell had that been? He'd left his habit of spouting out lines of poetry behind long ago. "Uh, nothing. Maybe after not being exposed to the sun for so long, it's, um, sunstroke. Makes you say crazy things. So, any new ideas on how to get back to good ol' Sunnyhell?"

Buffy decided that the fact that Spike had both quoted poetry to her and that he had used the word "love" were best ignored completely. "Nope. Lord Rupert in there has made it impossible for me to concentrate on anything. First, I had to convince him that you had in fact not compromised my virtue last night, and then he proceeded to talk non-stop about the 'horrible predicament we are facing.' I will never, ever accuse regular Giles of being too stuffy again."

Spike was grateful that Buffy had decided not to comment on what, as far as he could tell, had been his temporary possession by his long-suppressed poncy git alter ego. "That bad, pet?"

"Yes."

"You can always join me and the other pirates."

"I would prefer not to. They are no more than savage beasts."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "You'd 'prefer not to?' 'No more than savage beasts?' Where's that special version of Buffy English I've grown so accustom to?"

Buffy sighed. "I've been doing that all day! It's got to be him, and his proper speaking. It's rubbing off on me."

Spike bit back a laugh at her genuine disappointment at speaking properly. "Has Lord Rupes been in there playing Henry Higgins on you, pet?"

"Inadvertently, it would seem. Ah! I did it again! That's it. I'm not talking anymore."

"As if that would even be possible. I don't think I've even known you to keep your mouth shut for more than two minutes at a time." Buffy started to speak, but quickly caught herself, glaring at Spike. Spike laughed. "Had anyone ever told you how adorable you are when you're being defiant? Annoying, yes, but there's a definite adorableness in there, too," he teased.

"And you, sir, are incorrigible."

Spike moved closer to her. "I believe that's what you like most about me, my lady. You've grown tired of men you've known before, and their proper ways. You're seeing now that what you need, is a rogue."

"I dare say not! You stay away from me, you vile…" Buffy stopped in mid-sentence. "What in the—you were doing it, too!"

Spike shook his head. "Yeah. That was…"

"Majorly wiggy." Buffy smiled at her statement. "Yes, majorly wiggy. That's what it was. Much of the wigginess there."

"You're overcompensating."

"Right." Buffy sighed. "We really need to get out of here."

"I'm starting to agree with you there, Slayer. Don't like the idea of something controlling what I say and do like that. With my luck this'll turn out to be like the bleedin' Pirates of Penzance, The last thing I need is to be hit with the uncontrollable urge to burst into song."

"So we need to figure out what's going on here, search the ship some more. There has to be a way out. I will not even begin to consider that we're stuck here forever."

"We can do a little more reconnaissance work tonight."

"And hopefully not run into anymore creepy little pirates."

"I'll come and get you when most of the ship is out then?"

"All right. Hopefully we can get out of this place soon. Again, may I comment on the wigginess?"

"Wigginess noted," Spike said with a wink. Then his expression softened, and he reached out to touch Buffy's hair again. "You really are beautiful in the sunlight, kitten. I should've savored the look of you more when I had that ring."

Buffy stared at him, at a loss for words. But then he quickly reverted back to the Spike she knew, pulling away from her. "Well, back to your cabin then. See you when we can get something done."

"Okay," Buffy replied, surprised to find her voice working. Spike locked her back up with Lord Rupert, then walked away, cursing himself as he did.

He needed to get out of here soon before he made the mistake of saying something Buffy couldn't simply ignore.

*** *** ***

Joyce and Giles sat on the couch, an uncomfortable silence between them. No one had heard from Buffy. They had decided then to wait for her, both telling themselves that they were worrying over nothing and that the Slayer would walk through the door any moment, perfectly fine.

That had been over an hour ago. As the seconds ticked away, the tension rose. Even on Buffy's longer patrols, she'd usually checked in by now. And with Glory still out there, neither her mother nor her Watcher could help but think the worst.

Finally Giles stood. "I can't take this any longer. I'm going to look for her."

"But isn't that dangerous?" Joyce asked. "Not that I don't want to find my daughter, but…"

"I'll take weapons. And perhaps ask some of the others to accompany me."

Joyce nodded, wringing her hands. "You'll let me know the moment you find her, right?" She couldn't stand the thought of putting an "if" into that question.

"Of course, Joyce. Wherever Buffy is, I'll see to it that she makes it home safely. She will be fine."

*** *** ***

Buffy gripped the side of the cot as another blast rocked the ship. The fear that she'd felt when she'd first realized she was without her Slayer powers came back with a vengeance. They were under attack, and she couldn't fight.

Her feeling of panic grew when she thought of Spike. What if he was injured—or killed. Who would protect her then?

Wait…did she just think of Spike as he protector? Buffy shook her head. Now was not the time to worry about that. She had to stay strong, remember that with or without her powers, she was still the Slayer.

The boat shook again, and Buffy screamed, flinging herself on the cot. Lord Rupert sat on the floor, his face pale as he mouthed something that Buffy thought was most likely a prayer.

Buffy wished more than ever that she could just go home.

*** *** ***

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" Spike roared over the sound of cannon fire.

"We're under attack," Xander replied.

"I can see that, you bleedin' idiot!" Spike replied. "Do we know who's doing the attacking? Is it the navy?" Spike felt a cold grip of fear at the thought of "Admiral Finn" coming to take Buffy away from him.

"No. From the look of the colors, it's another pirate ship."

"Why aren't we blowing them out of the water then?" Spike asked.

"We're trying! They have bigger guns." Spike groaned as he watched the other ship come closer. The cannon fire stopped. "It looks like they're preparing to board us, captain."

"I noticed that," Spike muttered as he watched the other pirates clearly begin to board. His thoughts immediately went to Buffy. He may be able to keep her safe from his own crew, but with these new pirates thrown into the mix… His stomach turned at the thought of what could happen to her.

He wouldn't let it happen. He'd protect her with his life if need be.

"Stand your ground, men!" he yelled to his crew as the other pirates started over to his ship. He could see that they were clearly outgunned and out-manned, the other vessel significantly larger than his own.

"Aye, William my boy, no need to get testy. S'not like me cannons did any damage to yer very fine ship here. Just me way of greetin' was all that was."

Spike groaned as he heard the voice. He watched as the first two pirates to come aboard his ship stepped aside, revealing a tall man with a large mustache. That voice, that face—two things he would never be able to forget, no matter how hard he tried. And something told Spike that the other man's presence here was not a good thing.

"Angelus."

*** *** ***

Chapter 6:

"Oh, thank the good Lord! It sounds as if the fighting has stopped!"

Buffy gave Lord Rupert a thin smile. Despite the fact that she was glad to no longer hear cannon fire—and for the fact that they didn't appear to be sinking—Buffy couldn't share his enthusiasm. Something seemed off. "Do you believe the captain is all right?" she asked, the question out of her mouth before she could even realize she was speaking. What surprised her even more than the involuntary speech was the genuine fear behind the question.

"I dare say I hope not," Lord Rupert replied. "A creature such as that… The world would be a better place without the scoundrel in it. I would hope instead that this ship's attackers were the Royal Navy, and that they are taking him to be hanged."

Buffy paled at that last word. She had not previously considered that a possibility. What if Lord Rupert was right? She felt tears spring to her eyes at the thought of Spike being hanged, and hoped more than anything that he would soon walk through the cabin door and let her know he was all right.

Lord Rupert grew silent again, and Buffy chose not to speak as well. Instead, she sat stiffly on the bunk, wringing her hands as she waited for Spike to come for her. He'd have to. She couldn't accept the idea of things happening any other way.

*** *** ***

"This is a nice ship ye have here, William my boy." Angelus paced the deck, smiling even as Spike and his crew glared at him with outward hostility. "Not as nice as mine of course, but…"

"That's my bloody ship, Angelus—not yours," Spike snapped, the words coming from his mouth unbidden. Still, somehow he knew he spoke the truth, at least within the boundaries of this world.

Angelus only grinned more. "I claimed 'er fair enough."

"Fair enough! You mutinied against me!"

Angelus approached Spike and clapped his hand on his back. "That I did, boy, but as weak a captain as ye were, I figured ye were givin' 'er to me."

"Well, I wasn't, you git, and if you think…"

Angelus cut Spike off with a loud laugh. "Come now, you're not actually going to dwell on the past, are ye?"

Spike glared as a mixture of memories of the Angelus he'd known and images of a fabricated past with the version here now mixed to fuel his anger. "I want you and your crew off this ship."

Angelus leaned down, a cold gleam in his eye that Spike found all too familiar. "Ye forget, William, that I have the bigger guns."

"Drusilla always said otherwise," Spike growled. Again, his speaking was beyond his control, but this time it was something he was more than happy to say.

Angelus pulled up, as if attempting to intimidate Spike with his superior height. "I'd watch my tongue if I were you, boy. Especially since I hear ye got precious cargo on board."

Spike's eyes widened. Did he mean Buffy? Spike frowned as he realized of course he did. After all, if this really was a romance novel they were trapped in, who else would the villain be after but the heroine? Spike was really starting to dislike this whole thing. "I've got nothing on this ship for you, Angelus."

"Oh, but I think ye do. Show me to the lass, Willie. Knowing you, ye probably haven't even been man enough to properly welcome her aboard."

Angelus's crew laughed raucously behind him, and Spike used every bit of strength he could muster to keep from hurting the man in front of him. As much as he was itching for a good brawl, he also knew it wouldn't help Buffy. Angelus had a larger crew and more weapons. Any fight as things stood would most likely not end well for Spike. He needed to keep himself in one piece in order to protect the currently-powerless Slayer. "You're not touching her," Spike growled.

"And how exactly do ye plan to stop me? Ye always were the weak one, William." Angelus snapped his fingers and two burly pirates came around and grabbed Spike, holding him back.

"Search the ship for the girl!" Angelus bellowed. "Kill anyone who stands in yer way."

Spike struggled against the men who were holding him, but without the supernatural boost to his strength being a vampire gave him, he was helpless. His stomach turned at the thought of what Angelus could do to Buffy. "You hurt her, Angelus, and I will make you regret it."

"And how exactly do ye plan to do that? You're pathetic, and ye always have been. Besides, what sort of gentleman would I be if I left the girl in the hands of a rogue like you?"

"Let go of me! Get your filthy hands off of me right now!"

Spike turned sharply at the sound of Buffy's voice. He watched as one of Angelus's crewmen dragged her onto the deck, pulling on her arm so hard Spike was surprised it managed to stay in the joint. He swallowed hard, wanting nothing more than to go to her, protect her. She looked up at him, the fear and helplessness he saw in her eyes something new to him. It made his heart ache.

"Take the lady and the captain back to the ship!" Angelus barked.

"What about the rest of the crew?" a man beside Angelus asked.

"Leave 'em to rot," Angelus sneered. "We got what we came for."

Buffy and Spike both struggled as they were brought over to the other ship, but it was no use. Buffy watched the man who looked so much like her former love and shuddered. The look in his eyes told her this was not Angel, and she felt the cold fear rise in her at the thought of being at his mercy. She glanced back at Spike, meeting his eyes. There was a sense of determination there, and she felt a twinge of hope. If he hadn't given up, neither would she. He'd get her out of this.

She held her head up high, deciding not to give Angelus the satisfaction of seeing her fear.

*** *** ***

Giles woke with the distinct feeling of being watched.

And he was—by a very confused looking Dawn.

"Mom? Giles? Care to explain why you're both down here sleeping on the couch?"

Giles blinked, trying to find an answer in his sleep-fogged brain. Then it all came back to him. Buffy was missing, and after a futile search for her, he'd returned to check on Joyce. They must've fallen asleep. He wondered what sort of Watcher he was to allow himself to sleep when his Slayer was MIA.

Joyce stretched from her seat beside Giles, trying to comb her hair with her fingers. "We were waiting for Buffy. Did she never come home?"

"I didn't check, but I don't think so," Dawn replied, frowning. "Did you guys check with the Scoobies?"

Giles took off his glasses for their first cleaning of the day. "We had them looking for her as well last night. Did they not…"

Before Giles could finish his sentence, the front door burst open, and Anya, Willow, Tara, and Xander walked in. "No sign of Buffy," Anya announced. "We looked everywhere. She's probably dead."

Joyce paled at Anya's statement, and Giles moved quickly to comfort her. "I'm sure she isn't dead, Joyce. She's just…somewhere we haven't thought to look."

"Well, I don't know where that could be," Anya said, ignoring the looks Xander was giving her. What was the point of sugar-coating things anyway? "Oh, and Spike's missing, too."

"Spike?" Dawn asked.

"We went by his crypt," Willow explained. "We thought maybe he'd seen Buffy when she was patrolling. But he wasn't there. Tara and I stayed there for a while and waited for him, but he wasn't back before sunrise."

"Dear lord," Giles said, still wiping his glasses. "You don't believe Spike has something to do with her disappearance?"

"Spike wouldn't do that!" Dawn exclaimed. "He wouldn't hurt Buffy!"

"Dawn, he tried to kill her. A lot," Xander pointed out.

"But that was before!" Dawn replied. "Besides, he can't, remember—chip."

"Maybe he got the chip out, and he and Buffy had a big fight to the death," Anya suggested. "Or they could just be off somewhere having sex."

"Anya!" Xander snapped. "Buffy is not dead, or having sex with Captain Peroxide."

Anya shrugged. "They're the two most logical conclusions, Xander."

"Only in your world, honey."

Giles stood. "I think it best that no one jump to any conclusions. Let's go to the Magic Box instead, see what we can come up with. Tara, Willow—can the two of you perform a locator spell?"

"Of course," Willow replied. She frowned. "And now I'm sorta wondering why we didn't think of it before…"

"Yes, well, we'll do it now," Giles said. "Joyce, it would be for the best if you stayed here in case Buffy returns home. We'll call you if we hear anything."

"And I'll do the same," Joyce replied.

Giles gave her a nod and the Scoobies filed out, leaving Joyce and Dawn alone in the house. Dawn went to the couch, sitting next to her mother. Joyce put her arm around the girl and kissed the top of her head. "Buffy will be home soon," Joyce said, comforting herself as much as Dawn.

*** *** ***

Angelus had Buffy and Spike brought to the lower level of his ship. Spike was thrown into a small cell, the door shut and locked behind him before he had a chance to fight it.

"What are you planning on doing with us?" Spike asked.

"Well, seems there's quite a pretty reward for the girl," Angelus replied. He grinned widely at Spike. "And another one for ye, too—once yer hangin' in the gallows."

"And what, you think they're just going to hand you that money? Come on, Angelus, you're a pirate same as me. They'll hang you, too."

"That's where you're wrong. See, it seems the good Admiral Finn knew that catchin' ye would be a bit of a…difficulty. But not fer me—I knew ye, William. I knew just how to find ye. Finn knew I would. That's why we made this nice little deal. I bring him his sweet morsel of a fiancée, and the man who took her of course, and I get to leave with the money, free as a little birdie." Angelus approached the cell, his hands gripping the bars as he looked into Spike's eyes. "But just so ye know, I didn't do it just fer the money. I did it so I could watch your body swingin' in the wind."

"I'll never give you that satisfaction, Angelus."

"I'm afraid ye don't have a lot of say in the matter, boy. Now if you'll excuse us, the lady and I have some quality time to spend together." Angelus grabbed Buffy by the arm, ignoring her as she hit futilely at him.

Spike rattled the bars of the cage, his anger rising to new heights as he saw Angelus touching Buffy. "Leave her alone," he growled, even though he knew it was useless.

"What, is she yers, Willie? Did ye make this sweet little girl into a woman? She is wearin' yer clothes after all." Angelus brought Buffy in front of him, holding her tightly against his body. "Still, she'll need a proper seein' to, and I plan to make sure she gets one. Ye best think about that while yer waitin' to go to yer death."

Spike glared. "I will kill you, Angelus."

"Promises, promises, boy." Angelus laughed darkly as he dragged Buffy up the stairs and out of Spike's sight.

Spike shook the bars of the cell, letting out a frustrated roar. This was not going very well at all…

*** *** ***

 

Chapter 7:

Angelus took Buffy to his cabin and threw her on his bed. She sat up, moving as far away from him as the confined space would allow. "Please, don't do this," she begged him, cowering as she spoke. "Please."

Angelus grinned. "Ye just keep beggin' me, sweet thing. Only makes me want ye more."

"But I'm a lady of the highest reputation! You cannot possibly sully my virtue in such a fashion!"

"I'm a scoundrel—sullyin' the virtue of ladies is what I do."

"Please," Buffy sobbed. "My lord Admiral Finn will surely see you sent to the gallows if he finds you've done such a thing!"

Angelus shrugged. "I'll tell him it was William. Besides, once I'm done with ye, ye won't be makin' much sense anymore anyway." Angelus reached out, twirling a strand of Buffy's hair between his fingers. "Ye ever seen a woman after a man's broken her completely?"

Buffy whimpered, tears rolling down her cheeks. This couldn't be happening to her. She was Lady Elizabeth Summers, daughter of… Wait… Buffy blinked. She wasn't Lady anything, and she was not one for the damseling. She was Buffy Summers, Vampire Slayer. She struck out, her foot landing squarely between the juncture of Angelus's legs. He doubled over in pain, and Buffy jumped up, her eyes scanning the room in search of a weapon. She may have been powerless, but she wasn't going to let that stop her. She'd defeated Kralik without her strength, after all, and he had been more than some slimy, nasty pirate with a bad mustache.

Angelus groaned from where he was crumpled on the floor. "Stupid little bitch! Ye'll wish ye hadn't done that."

Buffy said nothing, instead responding by grabbing a bottle from beside the bed and smashing it over his head. Angelus slumped, unconscious. Buffy knelt beside him, searching his pockets until she found the key to Spike's cell. She kicked Angelus one more time for good measure, then left the cabin, careful not to be spotted as she made her way back to Spike.

The look on Spike's face when Buffy walked through the door was one of pure, unadulterated relief—and that was before she held up the key that represented his freedom. She ran over to the cell, unlocking it and letting Spike out. He immediately pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. "Buffy…I was so worried…"

"I'm all right," Buffy said reassuringly, letting herself return his embrace. "He didn't lay a finger on me."

Spike pulled back, although his hands were still resting on her hips. He couldn't stand to let her go, not after what he'd felt watching Angelus drag her away. "What did happen?"

"I kicked him in the groin and then smashed a bottle over his head."

Spike grinned. "Good girl."

"I was rather proud of myself. But now we really need to get out of here."

"No complaints from me about that plan, luv."

"But I may have a wee complaint or two."

Spike and Buffy spun around to see Angelus standing in the doorway, blood dripping down his face from where Buffy had hit him with the bottle. Spike moved Buffy behind him, trying to shield her with his body. "I won't let you hurt her, Angelus."

"Lookit poor William, always trying to play the hero and protect the lassies. Think this time it'll work any better than it did with Drusilla?"

Spike snarled as more of "his" past with the man before him became clear. "You murdered Dru."

"Yes, that I did. And it was worth it, too, if not just for the look it put on yer face, ye poor, pathetic bastard."

Spike could feel Buffy's fingers digging into his arm as she clung to him, and he knew she was afraid. "Again, you're not hurting this one. I'd die before I'd let you touch her."

"Sounds like a deal to me," Angelus said before charging at them, sword drawn. Spike jumped out of the way, taking Buffy with him. He was a second too late, and the sword grazed his side. Spike hissed in pain, but didn't let himself falter. All that mattered now was Buffy's safety. He moved quickly, managing to knock Angelus down. Before the larger man could get back to his feet, Spike took Buffy by the hand, running with her back up to the deck.

Angelus's crew had become aware of the escape attempt, and had gathered on the deck, moving towards Spike and Buffy. "Stop them!" Angelus bellowed as he staggered up the stairs.

As the pirates began to close in on them, Spike looked around for something to inspire a plan. She saw what he needed over his left shoulder. "Hold on tight, pet," he told Buffy before grabbing her by the waist, trying not to wince as her arms wrapped around him and grazed his wounded side. Without another word, he leapt over the side of the boat, taking Buffy with him.

The pirates glanced around and over towards the water, looking confused. "Should we go after 'em, captain?" one asked.

"No point," Angelus replied. "They're as good as dead anyway. With William's side bleedin' like it was, they'll probably be eaten by sharks." Angelus grinned to himself, certain that that was the last he'd seen of William the Bloody. It figured the idiot would leap to his own death. "Now back to work, all of ye!"

As Angelus's crew scrambled to comply with his orders, the pirate stomped off towards his cabin, deciding on a story to tell Admiral Finn that wouldn't cost him his own neck.

*** *** ***

"One of these books is missing," Anya announced to the group in the Magic Box as Willow and Tara prepared to perform the locator spell. "I ordered fifteen, but there are only fourteen here."

"Anya, Buffy is missing—and quite possibly in some sort of mortal peril involving Spike," Xander snapped at his girlfriend. "Now is not the time to be taking inventory."

"But…"

"We're ready to do the spell," Willow said, cutting Anya off. "I need everyone to be quiet."

Anya crossed her arms over her chest. She really hated it when no one would listen to her.

*** *** ***

Spike wasn't sure how he managed to bring himself and Buffy to the island safely without a hitch. The water was cold and choppy, and his side was still bleeding freely. Then he remembered that technically, he was stuck inside of a story, and decided to attribute it to the miracles of fiction.

From beside him, Buffy coughed. He could see her shivering in the pale moonlight, and pulled her to him. "I know I'm cold and wet, too, luv, but at least I actually have some body heat to share."

Buffy nodded, her teeth chattering. She looked down and gasped at the large, red stain on Spike's shirt. "You're bleeding!"

"It's not bad. Angelus just grazed me is all."

"Let me look at it." Before Spike could protest, Buffy was pulling off his wet shirt to inspect his wound. He hissed when her fingers grazed it.

"What's the prognosis, doc?" he asked, trying to sound anything but nervous.

"You'll live," Buffy said with a wry smile. "The bleeding seems to be slowing down, and it isn't very deep." She picked up his shirt, wringing it out before tearing off long strips of fabric. She used a wad of the cloth to staunch the wound, then wrapped the longer pieces around him to form a make-shift bandage. "At least my Slayer first-aid skills didn't go away with my strength," she said once she had him all patched up.

"Thank you."

"It was the least I could do for the man who just saved my life."

"You did a bit of the saving, too, pet. Couldn't have done much from inside that cage."

Buffy smiled. "Guess we make a good team, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess we do." Even if she was sporting the drowned-rat look, Spike thought the woman in front of him was absolutely breathtaking. He wanted to kiss her, hold her, make love to her on this beach. He got to his feet, wincing as his side protested the movement. "I should find wood for a fire. It'll help us warm up."

Buffy frowned in disappointment as Spike walked away from her. But he was right—they did need a fire. She stood up, going after him. "I'll help you."

Spike nodded and walked with Buffy into the woods.

*** *** ***

Buffy stared into the fire, resting her head against Spike's shoulder. He had his arms around her, both of them comfortable with the pretense that their closeness was merely for warmth. Although they both wondered what they were going to do now, neither vocalized the question. There was no reason to, since they knew there was no answer to give.

"You know, as strange as this might sound, I can think of worse people to be stuck on a deserted island with," Buffy said, breaking the silence.

Spike refrained from telling her there was no one he'd rather be on the island with. "True. You could be here with Harris."

"Oh god, I can just imagine the amount of whining Xander would be doing right now—if he'd even managed to get this far." Buffy frowned. "What does that say that I'd rather be here with my mortal enemy than one of my best friends?"

"That your 'best friend' is damn irritating, and I'm bloody good company, whether you want to admit it or not. Besides, I think our relationship has been downgraded from 'mortal enemy' status. At the very least we…share a bond of mutual annoyance."

Buffy chuckled. "You certainly haven't been acting like my mortal enemy—or even the pain in my ass you've been since you got that chip. Just the opposite, really. Hell, you got yourself stabbed for me."

It could've been simply a trick of the firelight, but Buffy could've sworn she saw Spike blush. "It wasn't that big of a deal. Didn't even incapacitate me. I was still able to swim to this island and everything."

"Still… It was very brave of you, Captain. Were it not for you and your daring, I would still be at the mercy of that cruel brigand. I owe you my life, William."

"I could do nothing but fight for you, fair Elizabeth. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I have been bewitched. You've managed to weave your spell around me, my beauty, making me wish to be nothing more than your willing slave."

"Oh William, I…" Buffy stopped, pulling away from him. "What the hell are we saying? And my god, are my breasts actually heaving?"

Spike glanced down. "Uh, yeah. They are a little."

"Stop staring at my boobs, Spike."

Spike held up his hands in self-defense. "You're the one who pointed them out, Slayer."

Buffy frowned. "We need to get out of here before I slip into a total repeat of Halloween '97 and start hollering about the 'man with the musket.'"

"Your hair's not brown," Spike pointed out.

"Oh, well, that's ever so comforting," Buffy replied sarcastically.

"Look, why don't we just get some rest? Maybe we'll be able to suss things out in the morning."

"Or we could be eaten by rabid land sharks in our sleep," Buffy muttered.

"Doubt it. Land sharks aren't warm-blooded, so they can't contract rabies. Besides, they're also demons, and it doesn't seem like this place is very demony."

Buffy stared at Spike. "Are you telling me 'land sharks' are real?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I've never seen one knock on a door and yell 'candygram,' but they're real enough. Although if I were you, I'd be more worried about wild boars, or something of the sort."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Wild… Spike, that's really not making me feel any better."

Spike reached out and squeezed her shoulder. "Don't worry, kitten. You've got me to protect you."

Buffy frowned. That did make her feel better, and she still wasn't completely comfortable with that concept, despite what "Lady Elizabeth's" thoughts may have been on the matter. "Fine, let's sleep," she said. "And preferably manage to avoid the wild boars and the land sharks."

Spike lay down in the sand, putting his arm behind his head. "Come here, luv. No point in both of us getting all sandy."

"My hair's already pretty icky as it is," Buffy said in token protest before lying down at his side, her head resting on his chest. Spike wrapped his free arm around her waist, and she closed her eyes, letting the roll of the ocean and the beat of his heart lull her to sleep.

*** *** ***

 

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